Tag Archives: Words to live by

Frey Freyday – Criticism

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

 “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” Teddy Roosevelt

At the end of the day, at the end of my life, I want to be able to say that I contributed more than I criticized. – Brene Brown

 WORD TO LIVE BY:

  1. Criticism –
    the analysis and judgement of the merits and faults of a literary or artistic work.

 A few thoughts on criticism. If you don’t like them, please don’t criticize me.

  • There is constructive criticism, when done correctly with a helpful suggestion attached to it, it can be very helpful if done in a thoughtful, loving way; “When you do X, it comes across as this, did you ever consider doing Y instead because it may work better….”. It is easy and less helpful to criticize without a suggestion or alternative.
  • A psychologist/pastor that I respect a lot once told me that often, not always, people criticize because they have a poor self-image or they feel inadequate themselves, that the criticism is a form of projection, in some cases.
  • Unless someone has actually done it, or been in your shoes, or been brave as you are in whatever it is you’re doing, they really don’t have a right to criticize.
  • It is easier to criticize than create.

 Parting thoughts:

  • Dare to risk criticism. Be bold. You may fail. People may say things. Guess what, you were brave and grew from the experience. You’re better for it.
  • If I can provide some constructive criticism? Stop reading this and go have a good weekend.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

Frey Freyday – a few quick thoughts

These are different and uncertain times for all of us.

Here are a few quick thoughts;

Gratitude; life certainly isn’t perfect right now but I believe we must be grateful for our jobs and for our health.

Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty. Doris Day

Compassion; we should consider having compassion for our clients, the business owners, for our communities, for our co-workers and for our loved ones. We are here to serve and help others during this time.

The greatness of a man is measured by the way he treats his fellow man. Myles Munroe

Meaning; we can always choose what something means…- we can choose the meaning we take away from a moment or situation.

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. Viktor E. Frankl

Humor; we all must search for levity, for humor in each moment, to relax and to put things into perspective.

Humor is just another defense against the universe. Mel Brooks

Best of health to you all….

Frey Freyday – Unconditional Love

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Unconditional love is known as affection without any limitations, or love without conditions. This term is sometimes associated with other terms such as true altruism or complete love.

On this specific day and during these unusual times, I think it is valuable to consider and ponder on this definition.

The ideal of unconditional love is a noble one. We want to be loved as we are, and perhaps we’d like to see ourselves as capable of selfless love.

I think being the imperfect human beings that we are, it is sometimes very hard to love unconditionally, but it is something that we must strive for, nonetheless.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

Frey Freyday – Perseverance

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

 Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained. Marie Curie

Word to Live By:

perseverance-[ˌpərsəˈvirəns] NOUN -persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.

 So these are very unusual times, right?

We can complain, we can get upset. We can make other choices too.

We must persevere. We must continue, improve, do better, make it work, ask for help, offer help, make an effort, have faith and keep going.

Just keep swimming…..

Many years ago I was in a job that I didn’t like with a person who was hostile and difficult. Finances were tight. I wanted out of that job. I was often concerned and depressed. For about 1 or 2 weeks, I just coasted. I didn’t really work hard and I ‘vegged out’. Then I spoke with a few older, wiser guys and they both told me to ‘keep swinging’. They were right. I went back and put forth 100% effort, worked hard, regardless of the circumstances. It was at that time that I started to look for quotes, like the above quote. I shared them with a few people and they liked it. So I routinely sent out what I then called, “Simple Stuff” – a prelude to the Frey Freyday. This kept my mind focused and more upbeat. Soon the upbeat attitude and full effort actually got me a better job. It also built a habit of putting forth 100% effort and looking for inspiration and ‘good stuff’ in the world.

Perseverance is passion and perseverance for very long-term goals. Perseverance is having stamina. Perseverance is sticking with your future, day in, day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years, and working really hard to make that future a reality. Perseverance is living life like it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

The uncertainty we face now is tough for some. For some there is certainty that things will indeed get harder, at least in the short term. Should we go quietly into that good night? No. Give it your best 100% effort, look for good, and give value to others.


Frankly, in general, I am encouraged by what I see in the U.S. – People are being kind, people are making it work, they are trying to stay upbeat, stay healthy and trying to keep moving ahead.

We are persevering together!

“Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming.                             When nothing is certain, anything is possible”      – Mandy Hale

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

See the source image

Frey Freyday – Agape Love

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Agape, the love of each one of us for the other, from the closest to the furthest, is in fact the only way that Jesus has given us to find the way of salvation and of the Beatitudes. Pope Francis

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Agape Love – a universal, unconditional love that transcends and persists regardless of circumstance. It goes beyond just the emotions to the extent of seeking the best for others.

A few years ago my oldest daughter went to be a mentor at a camp. She came back with some great experiences and lessons – some of which I benefited. While I heard the term before, my daughter was excited to tell us about and discuss ‘Agape love’.

She learned about how Agape love is different from romantic love, even slightly different from brotherly love. It is an altruistic form of love, “the highest form of love, charity”

Again, did I learn that before? Yes. Do I think about that or apply that to my life? Not nearly often enough.

At camp she mentored a younger person and helped her overcome some fears. Their goals and tasks at the camp were to help, support and show Agape love to their mentees. It was a great experience for them all. Consequently, when she helped the younger mentee with her fears, it helped my daughter work through some of her own fears.

In the media and world today, it is easy to get bombarded with many thoughts that are contrary to Agape love. We need more Agape love in this world. The first step is to be aware, then share it, then introduce it into daily life, use it and set an example.

Some examples include:

  • Chiaune Sugihara-the Japanese envoy to Germany during WW2, who helped thousands of Jews escape Nazi Germany.
  • The Ten Boom Family of “The Hiding Place” fame.
  • The gym teacher in the recent Florida school massacre, who shielded his students with his own body (and was killed for his trouble).
  • The male passenger in a jet/river crash in the 1990′s, who passed the rescue harness to 3 other victims
  • But it doesn’t have to be a big, dramatic act. Many people tirelessly give and love each and everyday in small incremental ways, which we all can do.
  • The below link for a TED talk goes deeper into this and other types of love.

 

Today is Valentine’s Day – mostly associated with romantic love – which is important and also much needed. But I think the world can benefit from a reminder about Agape Love.

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

BONUS  :   TED TALK

the seven types of love?
philia (deep friendship)
ludus (playful love)
agape (selfless love)
eros (physical love)
storge (familial love)
pragma (long-standing love)
philautia (love of oneself)

https://www.ted.com/tedx/events/11217

Frey Freyday – Meaning

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value. Hermann Hesse

For the meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment. Viktor E. Frankl

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Meaning – [mee-nin]- the end, purpose, or significance of something

Lots of things ‘happen to us’ in life. Illness, loss, death, pain sorrow. There are also lots of events each day that come our way, small and big; traffic, business, bills, and other responsibilities.

Events happen, things happen, how we react to these things is a big deal. The meaning we give to these things makes a difference.

Sometimes we label an event as bad or good. Sometimes that’s not really fair or accurate. Often we need time and perspective to look back on things in our lives. Sometimes that thing that happened seemed like a bad thing for us but after all, it turned out to be good for us.

Recently author Jim Fortin wrote, “There is a personal development program called Landmark Forum and a famous phrase in that program is that “humans are meaning-making machines”. Your brain makes meaning of the world around you for survival purposes and it is entirely brain-based.
People are also making meaning and interpretations about you, what you drive, your ethnicity, your name, where you live, and they’re making judgments which are nothing more than meanings. Many times these meanings are not accurate. It’s simply people just making meanings because that’s what people do. “

Put simply, it isn’t the events, situations, or circumstances of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean….it is the meaning we assign to the event that makes the difference.

So if you’re going to make meanings in life, what I strongly suggest is that you make meanings that actually serve and build you, as opposed to meanings that actually pull you back. Remember: Nothing has any meaning except the meaning you give it

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

BONUS  :   Podcast

https://www.jimfortin.com/episode-91-your-life-has-no-meaning-except/

Frey Freyday – Compassion

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

 –com·pas·sion \kəm-ˈpa-shən\ – a feeling of wanting to help some other person or being

The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others.-Albert Schweitzer


Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.-Dalai Lama


I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.-Lao Tzu


WORD TO LIVE BY:

com·pas·sion –

This was shared last year but worth sharing again…

First, all great religions talk about compassion. The more we mature individually and/or as a species, the more compassionate we become.

There is another definition out there that states “Compassion motivates people to go out of their way to help physical, spiritual, or emotional hurts or pains of another. Compassion is often regarded as having an emotional aspect to it, though when based on cerebral notions such as fairness, justice and interdependence, it may be considered rational in nature and its application understood as an activity based on sound judgment.” This is true. Even though compassion and the act of it often makes us feel better and involved emotion, the benefits can truly be rational and pragmatic.

Compassion is part of altruism – loving and giving unconditionally. As we strive to become better people we must take steps to become more altruistic, which of course means we can act more compassionate.

There are scientific, medical, and psychological studies that show how compassion actually benefits the given and the receiver. Studies have shown that when I am compassionate to another, I benefit; the receiver benefits, and even those people that observe the act benefit. Compassion may have the ability to induce feelings of kindness and forgiveness, which could give people the ability to stop situations that occasionally lead to violence.

Identifying with another person is an essential process for human beings. It is commonly seen throughout the world as people adapt and change with new styles of clothing, language, behavior, etc., which is illustrated by infants who begin to mirror the facial expressions and body movements of their mother as early as the first days of their lives. This process is highly related to compassion because sympathizing with others is possible with people from other countries, cultures, locations, etc

Compassion is a number of things – helping others in need, relieving stress/strife/pain/hurt. Compassion is a process of connecting by identifying with another person.

 Today I was reminded again of compassion in an article. The article did cite a quote from author Kari Kampakis. It beautifully describes the concept of using people’s hurtful actions as opportunities for self-growth and compassion. She writes:

“Regardless of how anyone treats you, you stand to benefit. While some people teach you who you do want to be, others teach you who you don’t want to be. And it’s the people who teach you who you don’t want to be that provide some of the most lasting and memorable lessons on social graces, human dignity, and the importance of acting with integrity.”

Sometimes when we experience unkind treatment from others in the world, we can choose to withdraw, feel hurt, feel angry, etc. Or we can use it as a reminder or opportunity, and it can become a means to gain awareness, compassion, and connection.

(the 2020 challenge is to use 3 quotes or less, what do you think?)

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

 

Bonus: 7 Great TED talks about Compassion

https://www.ted.com/playlists/447/how_to_make_compassion_thrive

Frey Freyday – Label

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Label [ˈlābəl] –VERB –labeling (present participle) assign to a category, especially inaccurately or restrictively.

Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you. –Thomas Jefferson

Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition or label of your life; define yourself. –Harvey Fierstein

Once you label me you negate me. –Soren Kierkegaard

If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome. –Michael Jordan

I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine. –Bruce Lee

Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. –Leo Buscaglia

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. –Abraham Maslow

Winners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations in advance of the event. –Brian Tracy

Expectations are a form of first-class truth: If people believe it, it’s true.-Bill Gates

You can’t base your life on other people’s expectations. –Stevie Wonder

If you were to look up your name in the dictionary, how would you be defined? Would three words just about cover it, or would your epic narrative consume page after page—or even demand a volume of its own? – Tony Robbins

I think any label is bad. I’m more than a label. – Unknown

  –

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Labels – something we assign to a person, situation, experience or event. Typically we assign the meaning to these things and depending on our perspective, the label can vary greatly.

As we approach a new year, we often reflect on days and years gone by, and those ahead of us. We all tend to label some days or years as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. We label simple and complex events each and every day as good or bad.

Yet, did you ever label something as ‘bad’ and with time and perspective, you look back and it wasn’t that bad. In fact, sometimes aren’t those events actually good for our lives? There is a Zen story about this, I shared it below in the bonus section. Perspective and timing do change the meaning. We assign the meaning. We can often benefit from not labeling…..

We label people in our lives, even those we don’t really know. How many times have we labeled someone one way and only to find out that they do not fall under that label?

When we place expectations on others or in a relationship, in essence we are putting a label on the person, relationship, or situation. This is inaccurate and limits the person, situation or relationship.

We label ourselves, consciously and unconsciously. Typically I find that we are all hard on ourselves, too hard. Our self-talk is critical and we need to reinforce the good, learn from mistakes and failures and keep an open mind about people, events, and situations before we simply label them as good or bad.

When we put labels on things, you’ve got twoness. You’ve got the label, and you’ve got what you’re labeling. And there is only oneness in the universe, even though we artificially believe in twoness. Our ego likes the feeling of control with a label, it likes the feeling that we know what we’re doing. Really there is no control.

Ideas:

  • When something happens, don’t label it good or bad. It is just an event. Be in the moment, observe, be self-aware, learn from it and move on
  • When you catch yourself labeling something or someone, don’t judge yourself either. Just stop, realize it, and move on
  • Spend a day without the label of “parent” or “boss” and put yourself into an open, observant, self-aware state of mind.

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

BONUS  :   THE ZEN STORY – GOOD LUCK? BAD LUCK? WHO KNOWS! 

An elderly, hard-working Chinese farmer and his son, had a single horse. They used the horse to plow the field, to sow the seeds, grow the crop, and transport it to the market. The horse was essential for the farmer to earn his livelihood.

One morning, the horse broke the fence and ran away into the woods. When the neighbors found out that the only horse the farmer had, had run away, they came to solace him. They said – “Your only horse has run away just before the planting season. How will you till the land? How will you sow the seeds? This is unfortunate. This is bad luck.”

The farmer replied – “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”

A few days later the farmer’s horse returned from the woods along with two other wild horses. When the neighbors found out the news, they said – ” Now you have three horses! You can till the land much faster with three horses. Maybe you can buy more land and sow more crop and make more money. Or you can sell the other two horses. Either way, you will be a rich man! This is good luck! “

The wise farmer replied – “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”

Next morning, the farmer’s son started training the wild horses to that they would help till the land. While attempting to mount one of the wild horses, he fell down and broke his leg. Just before the sowing season, the son would not be able to help the farmer with his broken leg. The neighbors came once again and commented – ” This is really unfortunate. This is bad luck.

The wise farmer repeated – “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”

A few days later, the king’s men started to visit each village in the kingdom. A war had started between their kingdom and a neighboring enemy state. The king’s men were enlisting the eldest son from each family to join the army so that they could defeat the enemy state. When they came to the farmer’s house they saw the son with the broken leg. He would not be of much use in the army and hence they didn’t take him. He was the only eldest son in the entire village who was not forcibly taken by the king’s men to fight the war. The neighbors, some of them with teary eyes, came once again to the farmer and commented – “Your son breaking his leg was really fortunate. He is the only one who was not taken. What a stroke of good luck.

The farmer calmly replied – “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”

Every single time the neighbors thought that what had happened to the farmer was bad luck, it turned out to be good luck! And just when the neighbor’s thought that the incidents had brought the farmer good luck, it turned out to be bad luck! 

Frey Freyday- Habits

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Repetition of the same thought or physical action develops into a habit which, repeated frequently enough, becomes an automatic reflex. Norman Vincent Peale

Moral excellence comes about as a result of habit. We become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts. Aristotle

Food is not rational. Food is culture, habit, craving and identity. Jonathan Safran Foer

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. Jim Ryun

To change a habit, make a conscious decision, then act out the new behavior. Maxwell Maltz

Until you have formed the habit of looking for the good instead of the bad there is in others, you will be neither successful nor happy. Napoleon Hill
 

Make it your habit not to be critical about small things. Edward Everett Hale

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Habit- nounhab·​it | \ ˈha-bət  \-an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary

Did you ever notice how hard it is to break some habits?

It has been said that as much as 95% of what you do all day long is habit. Habits happen in your brain and you have no conscious thought about it. Many say that Habits CONTROL you.

(Yes, habits can be ‘good’ or ‘bad’)

In fact, research done at the Max Planck Institute in Leipzig Germany, one of the foremost research institutes in the world, discovered that 95% of everything that we do on a daily basis is brain-based and habit-based. We go through our entire days on automatic autopilot. As a matter of fact, we go through most of our days on brain-based automatic autopilot or on unconscious autopilot.

Habits are not personal. They come from the reptilian part of the brain. By the way, the reptilian part of the brain doesn’t know right or wrong, good from bad. It just works from habit.

“You don’t get in life what you want, you get what/who you are (habits).” Jim Fortin

Habits have to do with our identity also. If you ask someone, “Are you a smoker?” – they will answer yes or no. Obviously if they are a smoker, they’ll say yes. Their identity is a smoker. But we all have other little identities, many we’re not aware of; ‘a messy person’, ‘someone who is always late’, ‘victim’, ‘hard-worker’, ‘generous person’, ‘funny person’, etc. etc..

You could also state that everything you have in life is a habit and everything you don’t have is a habit so it’s vital that you master your habit management.

·         willpower only works to some degree to change habits

·         everything is about training yourself; good or bad

 With a habit, there is first the cue or urge to do something. Often we don’t know this happens. So we have the urge to do something – the habit, then we do the habit, which is often like a reward. Example; I have an urge, I say, “I want a diet soda”. I often break and have one in that moment.

So let’s say you want to stop a habit; essentially your willpower and your reptilian brain battle it out. Usually your reptilian brain wins.

But there are strategies to overcome the reptilian brain. Here is one from a guy named Jim Fortin:

When you get an urge for a habit, say “This is just a habit, it is not me.”

  1. Then say, “This urge will go away if I dismiss it.”
  2. Then say, “It is just my habit ‘voice’, it’s not me!”
  3. Then say, “I Choose to dismiss this urge and this ‘voice’ now!”
  4. Say one more thing; “I’ve moved my attention elsewhere.”

Remember, we are usually where we are in our life where our attention is. If we move our attention, we can more our lives.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

BONUS  :

Why/what and more about habits and Steps to break habits

Podcast by Jim Fortin “Why It’s So Hard To Break Your Bad Habits”

https://www.jimfortin.com/podcast/episode-45-why-its-so-hard-to-break-your-bad-habits-part-2/

Frey Freyday – Money

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Finance is not merely about making money. It’s about achieving our deep goals and protecting the fruits of our labor. It’s about stewardship and, therefore, about achieving the good society. Robert J. Shiller

What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. Bob Dylan

Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like. Will Rogers

Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. Ayn Rand

WORD TO LIVE BY:

money- noun, often attributive-mon·​ey | \ ˈmə-nē  \

plural moneys or monies\ ˈmə-​nēz  \- something generally accepted as a medium of exchange, a measure of value, or a means of payment:

People react to and think about money in many different ways.

Most people don’t like to talk about money. That can be problematic.

Unfortunately many, many Americans live paycheck to paycheck. We don’t have any reserves for an emergency; a health issue, a car repair, etc.

In the U.S., the average retirement savings is $95,766 across all age groups, according to the EPI. Experts recommend having at least $1,000,000 saved for retirement by the age of 60.

Too many of us don’t know or understand some things around savings, investments, mortgages, credit cards, loans. That’s OK not to know or understand we all start out that way with everything. However, too many people then still go ahead with life and they don’t ask questions, they don’t read, self-educate or ask for help. In some ways, ignorance is chosen.

Don’t beat yourself up…We are humans, therefore we still act partially rational, partially irrational. Our brains still have primitive fight or flight mechanisms; we react to and from emotions. This affects our money habits.

Many people know they want or need to save money but our ‘reptile brain’ hinders this. We sometimes panic, sometimes fear drives us, sometimes we’re driven by an impulse in the moment to spend, in any case, while we know that we should set aside some of our money for savings, many of us do not. Once we realize and accept that we still have this part in all of us, and that it affects our money, we can do something about it, we can ‘hack’ it.

Really, the best way to do this is simple. Make it automatic. Many of us have a 401k or retirement plan at work. We can take out a % of income BEFORE we even see it. Maximize that %. Use Apps to make savings easier. There are many different ways to pull out money – before you can touch it – and put it into savings or investments. Out of sight, out of mind is a good thing in this case. Put the money somewhere that you can’t touch it. Schedule automatic transfers to another account. Save your loose change. Budget with cash and envelopes.

Think about it….if you set aside 5%, for instance, you really won’t miss it, especially if you take it out up front before you ‘see it’. We can all adjust to small changes like that. You can still live a fair lifestyle with 95% of your money.

If you get a raise, set that raise aside before you see it. For instance, if you get a 3% raise, set up an automatic withdrawal so that you pull the 3% out and save it. You’ve been living on your income without that 3% until now, you won’t miss what you don’t have, put that somewhere where you can’t touch it.

There are many websites for and about this. https://americasaves.org/for-savers/save-automatically https://www.discover.com/credit-cards/resources/5-ways-of-saving-money-automatically/ , https://americasaves.org/for-savers/make-a-plan-how-to-save-money/54-ways-to-save-money ,

If you don’t know or understand something about money, credit, finance, whatever, don’t just keep living like that – read, ask, search it. There are many good resources and people out there who aren’t trying to sell you something, there are people that can and want to help.

http://www.pbs.org/your-life-your-money/index.php , https://360financialliteracy.org/ , http://www.practicalmoneyskills.com/ , https://www.financialliteracy101.org/

Above all, we all need to take time to talk about money and plan more. If you think about it, most Americans can spend weeks, even months, planning a vacation. I’ve seen some people plan a wedding for over a year. However, too often many of us spend almost no time planning for retirement.

Things can’t improve without change.

Every human has four endowments – self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom… The power to choose, to respond, to change. Stephen Covey

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. Carol Burnett

=

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

money

BONUS  :   How I learned to read –and trade stocks – in prison

Financial literacy isn’t a skill — it’s a lifestyle. Take it from Curtis “Wall Street” Carroll. As an incarcerated individual, Carroll knows the power of a dollar. While in prison, he taught himself how to read and trade stocks, and now he shares a simple, powerful message: we all need to be more savvy with our money.

https://www.ted.com/talks/curtis_wall_street_carroll_how_i_learned_to_read_and_trade_stocks_in_prison

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