Tag Archives: think with the end in mind

Feeling stressed, tense, worried?

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You know, we’ve all been there in one way or another: we’ve been tense and focused on money, maybe stressed, maybe short with our spouse, maybe short with our kids….and in that moment when we’re stressing about money, we’re missing the world around us.

You know what I mean when I say “That awful feeling in the pit of your stomach because you feel like you have to worry about running out of money at the end of the month.”

I’ve been there, then back on “top”, then stressed again, a few times in my life.

I heard a funny thing the other day; someone was saying how they thought ‘rich people’ always think about money and ‘rich people’ are all shallow.

Maybe some are shallow, but in my experience and from what I read, when you had enough money to pay the bills and to live in a decent way, you’re NOT thinking about money much at all. When you have enough to cover the bills, you can think about fun things, about things that you WANT to do in your job and career, and things that you can do for or contribute to others – you can choose to enjoy life a little more.

When I was struggling with income and bills, and when I observe others that have the same struggle to pay bills and meet their obligations, they think about money all day long.

There is a great book that I highly recommend called “Bridges out of Poverty”. It helps explain how people struggling in poverty are constantly thinking about how they are paying the bills, food on the table, tires on the car, utility bills, etc.

Even if we aren’t at the poverty level, we can sometimes have some traits of the poverty mindset……we worry about money, about paying the mortgage, about our jobs, etc. This never creates a good feeling inside, does it?

Again, as someone that has been back and forth, here is some wisdom that I’ve learned from a few others and I believe that it really can help:

  • Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want – instead of focusing on the bills and lack of cash, focus on the things that you really want, the freedom, peace of mind, better health, better relationships, enjoying life, security for your family, etc.

  • Watch your self-talk- we all talk to ourselves and ask ourselves questions throughout the day. There is enough negativity in the world, don’t add to it by bringing yourself down. I was someone who beat myself up for many things and once in a while still do – if you do also, STOP. Reflect on accomplishments, look for references why you’re good at something, ask yourself questions like “Why do I deserve this?” and “Why am I so lucky?” instead of things like “Why can’t I earn more money” or ‘why is this such a struggle’ or ‘why don’t I ever win anything?”

  • Have a vision – ok maybe your life isn’t where you want it to be now and you want to improve – almost everyone does….create a vision. It doesn’t have to be a major complicated thing – something as simple as some bullet points or a paragraph or two is fine – create a simple story of you as you want to be – make the story in present tense as if you already have it – as if you are already “THERE” and you’re looking back on today, when you are struggling. Make sure that in the story you talk about how you’re proud of the steps you took, the hard work, the good attitude, and how you changed for the better. Remember, tell the ideal story of your life as if it is already done!

  • Enjoy the present, live in the moment – when we worry about the future or fret over the past, we miss moments and experiences right in front of us. I recall a time when my wife and I had time alone and I sat there worrrying about something that never even happened. Another time I recall worrying about something and basically ignoring my daughters when I had a free day with them. We all lost and nothing was gained. Take a moment to look around, be aware, and live today’s life. Things can happen in a moment. Look for miracles. You gotta celebrate life’s moments no matter what. There is no rehearsal.

  • Here’s something that can be the toughest for any of us – do the above each and everyday. We can all do things for a while or on occasion, or here and there. We have to ask the right questions, focus on the good stuff, reflect on our vision, and enjoy the present every day! We all must take action – even if they are just baby steps each day. Ask, ‘what thing, regardless how big or small, can I do today?” You don’t have to spend long on it – but at least 5 -10 minutes. Can you turn off the TV, put down the phone, or walk away from the computer or ipad for 10 minutes if it makes you better?

Remember, people with much less smarts, ability, education, opportunity have done great things, contributed, made money, helped others, and been successful , you have the ability, you have the power inside, you just need to take action.

http://www.onewebstrategy.com

😉

The top 10 things people claim to have taken for granted

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A single item today – this from Michael Dooley of http://www.tut.com aka The Universe

The top 10 things people claim to have taken for granted, when they were alive:

10. How important they were to so many.
9. How easy life was when they stopped struggling.
8. That all of their prayers and thoughts were heard.
7. That there really were no coincidences.
6. How far ripples of their kindness actually spread.
5. What really was important: happiness, friends, love.
4. That any and all of their dreams could have come true.
3. How good looking and fun they always were.
2. How much guidance they received, whenever they asked for help.
1. That God was alive in everything, including themselves.

As expressed by the recently departed, fresh after their life-review on the big, BIG screen.

Ah-so,
The Universe

Your Brain on Habits

When I see a good article, I gotta pass it along….

This Is Your Brain on Habits

Remember when you got your driver’s license and had to back your car out of the garage for the first time?

If we could have peered into your brain at that moment, we would have seen a flurry of activity…

Because this brand new skill requires thousands of tiny, complex calculations that must be performed in fractions of seconds.

For example… “Don’t hit the gas too hard, don’t hit the side of the garage, don’t hit the garbage cans on the sidewalk, and don’t hit any cars or pedestrians that may be coming down the street.”

Hey, it’s a lot for any brain to handle!

But guess what – now that you’ve fully mastered the skill of backing your car out of the garage, you literally don’t think about it.

In fact, if we were to look at your brain on a brain scan machine today, we would see an incredible drop in brain activity when compared to the flood of activity taking place when you were first learning this new skill.

That’s because your brain is highly efficient and conserves as much energy as possible, in case it needs it for truly momentous things, like fighting predators and raising children.

This very fact of the human brain is both the good news AND the bad news about habits and their relationship to success.

Why? Because on the one hand, it’s fantastic that you don’t have to consciously think every time you perform simple tasks every day: things like tying your shoes, brushing your teeth, or backing your car out of the garage.

However, because your brain is so efficient, it also makes it very difficult to CHANGE a habit, even when you WANT to change it.

Because your brain is essentially saying, “Hey, I’ve got a good thing going here! Why do you want to mess around with it!?”

It’s the classic, If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it – but it’s all happening inside your brain!

Take Action Challenge:

Notice which habits you’re doing today that you don’t think about any more. Which habits are you doing that you would be better off replacing with more productive habits?

PS. Leave a comment and share with friends if you enjoy today’s article

Noah St. John, Inventor of Afformations

Don’t just rely on motivation alone!

From a successful web person, I thought it was a good short article worth your time.

http://www.brittanylynch.com/why-relying-on-motivation-alone-sucks/

Why Relying On Motivation Alone Sucks!

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Relying on motivation alone to conquer a goal is setting yourself up for failure. Today I’m going to explain why, and give you an actionable strategy to overcome this and accomplish more than you ever thought you possibly could.

Let me ask you a question – have you ever set yourself a goal and at the time of setting that goal, felt like nothing in the world was going to hold you back from accomplishing it? Maybe it was losing 20 pounds, or making money on the Internet?

The day you set that goal you probably feel really motivated, maybe you exercise 45 minutes that day or start to build a website, and then the next day you’re back at it still feeling pretty good…but slowly somehow day by day you start skipping days, you don’t end up exercising, you put it off until tomorrow…and then you wake up months later and realize that you haven’t worked towards that goal in over a month? Sh*t!.. I guess tomorrow never came.

This is what happens when you rely on motivation alone to accomplish a goal.

The problem with motivation is it comes in waves. There are peaks and then there are lows. When you’re at a motivation peak – it probably feels like you can take on the world and definitely take advantage of that…however when you’re at a motivation low, good luck getting anything done if motivation is all you’re relying on.

Plain and simple this sucks…but I’ve got good news for you. I’m going to give you my strategy for accomplishing more than you ever thought possible…and it’s actually a lot simpler than you might think.

At the heart of the concept is the idea that you must balance “motivation” and “ability” together.

When your motivation is very high, you have the ability and mental strength to persevere and do more difficult things , such as running for 45 minutes.

When your motivation is low, you have less ability and lower mental strength to accomplish difficult tasks.

So how do you compensate for this? Easy – when you are feeling very motivated – get on that treadmill and run 45 minutes. When you’re not feeling motivated, you need to reduce ability and make that task easier for you to accomplish – for example instead of running 45 minutes – run for just 10.

Okay this might sound overly simplistic but what I’ve found is when I’m incredibly motivated, I can get on that treadmill and pound pavement and run for 45 minutes and feel awesome doing it.

However when I’m feeling a little tired, or had a bad day and just want to curl up on the couch and watch TV the last thing I want to do is run for 45 minutes. The motivation just isn’t there.

What I’ve found is, if I lower my mental expectations, lower the ability and tell myself “Okay today you don’t need to run for 45 minutes, just start by putting on your running shoes.” So I go put on my running shoes, first task done. Then I tell myself “Alright today all you’re going to do is run for 10 minutes. “

As soon as you reduce ability you’ll find your mind relaxes and that guilt you were previously feeling about the possibility of skipping a day working towards your goal melts away – because at least you’re doing SOMETHING. Something is always better than nothing.

Does that make sense to you?

You have to go with your bodies natural motivation waves.

You can’t be highly motivated at all times.

That’s why adjusting your ability with your motivation peaks and lows you’ll actually find that over time you’re able to get a lot more done.

Something else interesting happens.

As you rely less on motivation …you’re able to accomplish a lot more. Your ability really does increase. At first you’re running just 10 minutes on a low motivation peak, then one day you set out to just run 10 minutes but you end up running 15, it’s mentally getting easier for you to run …then that 15 minutes turns in 20, then 30 and so on and so forth.

Your ability will increase overtime and you’ll be less reliant on motivation alone and this will happen in a very natural way.

This same thing happened to me when I was trying to start my online business. At first I found it really difficult to motivate myself to get to work. Don’t get me wrong – I wanted the results of my business …the money and the freedom and lifestyle that came with it but I found it hard to just sit down and get my work done. Get all of those “tasks” done.

So I went back to the ability versus motivation formula and relied less on motivation and more on ability. I’d start by breaking down my overall goal into small steps and then just sitting down for 10 minutes a day to get work done. 10 minutes may not sound like a lot, but be honest and think back on all the days where you’ve spent a big fat ZERO minutes working towards your goal. 10 minutes increased to 15, 15 minutes to an hour…and as my ability to get this stuff done increased I progressed further and further along towards my goal until one day I realized that I did 8 hours of work, and it didn’t even feel like work at all. I just got better at getting things done. Not surprisingly as I got better at getting things done, my income and success towards that goal increased too. I was overcoming the learning curves and just improving overall.

So my advice to you is to never just rely on motivation. Doing this is a recipe for disaster. Try and balance ability and motivation and you’ll be able to get a lot more done, and you’ll be developing much better work habits towards your goals. – Brittany Lynch

The Wizard Within….

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I am reading a book by Deepak Chopra called “Twenty Spiritual Lessons for Creating the Life You Want”

It is quite good.

It is something that I have written about on occasion and sometimes try to put into practice in my own life, but often do not.

The Wizard can represent a number of things or beings – it could be our own Spirit, the Universe, the Source, God, the Universal Intelligence, the Higher Self….or whatever you might refer to the power, love, force, and spirit that runs through us all. The Wizard is a metaphor….

The Wizard is that force or spirit that we all have, the true self that never really changes, the person that remains the same as we grow, as we face challenges, as we worry about materialistic things – the Wizard knows what is really important, the Wizard helps us stay on the course when we’re worried, concerned, or chasing the “Joneses”.

The Wizard is that voice inside that helps you make a decision, that helps you stay on track, and that provides you a foundation of strength, serenity, and guidance. The Wizard in us sees the real world, the real person in others – not the beautiful or ugly skins and bones, but the spirit inside.

  • There are some great lessons in this book; some new and fresh, some are things we all probably already know but are definitely good to be reminded of…..
  • Spend time pondering not what you see but why you see it.
  • The Wizard exists in all of us. This wizard sees and knows everything.
  • The Wizard is beyond opposites of light and dark, good and evil, pleasure and pain.
  • Everything the wizard sees has its roots in the unseen world.
  • Nature reflects the moods of the wizard.
  • The body and mind may sleep but the wizard is always awake.

For someone like me who has a difficulty making time for meditation, I found the quote “Without silence, there is no room for the wizard.” very helpful and meaningful…”without silence ther cannot be any real appreciation of life, which is as delicate in its inner fabrics as a closed rosebud.”

…also, Wizards don’t live in fear…when asked “How do you manage this peace of mind?”, the Wizard says, “Look within where there is only peace.”

Lastly, Chopra writes this….”The mind may succeed in making you intelligent, but it is poorly equipped to make you happy, fulfilled, at peace with yourself.”….”the Wizard is inside you and only wants one thing: to be born.”

…..I’ll share more good thoughts from the book as I come across them….

Best wishes for some magic from your inner Wizard today…

..

🙂

What’s your excuse?

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In one way or another most of us have an excuse about some part of our lives. Maybe the excuse comes in the form of a limiting belief. Either way, we have them.

Some excuses are on the surface – those that we say and share with others.

Other excuses are deep down. Maybe we know of them but keep them to ourselves – maybe we don’t even face them – or want to……

We have excuses about work, love, life, money, relationships, health……

What are your deep excuses and beliefs? Be honest. It isn’t necessarily fun to think about but we need to do so.

Facing them and addressing them is a great step to take – right now.

Here’s a short article that addresses this subject well….

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What’s Your “Secret Excuse”? by Frank Rumbauskas <frank@dontcoldcall.com>

It seems like everyone has mental blocks that keep them from succeeding.

A few years back I began using the term “Secret Excuse” in my programs.

A Secret Excuse is, very simply, any excuse you make in your head that gives you a phony reason not to get out there and succeed.

Before I reveal the most common Secret Excuse for salespeople, here are the most common excuses people have for not getting off their butts and making something great of themselves:

– I wasn’t born into the right family
– I’m not “connected”
– I don’t have a college education
– “It can’t be done”
– Why hasn’t someone else done it already?
– I don’t have enough money
– I have a family to support

And so on and so on…

—————-

First – honestly identify at least one ‘excuse’ – a deep secret one.

Second – write a question that forces your mind to think otherwise – FOR EXAMPLE: if you think that you’re too old, you could ask yourself a question something like, “How does my age, wisdom, and experience give me an edge? Why does my age, wisdom and experience help me achieve my goals? In what ways do my age, experience and wisdom help me in my life?” – THEN try to answer these – write down ways that your age helps you, benefits you, and find positive references, achievements and such from the past. Do this often.

Third – repeat, and make sure you’re being honest with yourself!

Thinking about Imagination

Imagination was so much fun for me when I was a kid. I recall growing up in the 1970’s and very early 1980’s and pretending to be superheroes like Spiderman and Batman. I imagined that I was Luke Skywalker or Han Solo from Star Wars. I even pretended to be a guy called Ultraman – Ultraman was a TV show on cable – it was from Japan and often the dialogue was dubbed. Ultraman sometimes fought Godzilla, so that may draw a picture for you what the show was like.

I’ve never really liked to go to sleep. Even today I don’t want to go to bed, many nights. I’d rather do something else. When I was young, I of course had to go to bed at a certain time. So I would lay in bed and pretend to be one of the above superheroes. I’d go through scenarios while laying in bed, probably for hours. I recall my dad walking in on me once and I must have been pretending to be fighting a villain while saving the world. He wasn’t too upset but said it was late.

I also used to imagine myself as a pilot and business man. I wanted to be a fighter pilot for so many years – long before “TOP GUN” came around. I went to airshows, read books and magazines about planes and talked to pilots. I actually later soloed in a plane before I had my driver’s license. I had about 40 hours in flight when it came time to go get a flight physical so I could proceed toward a private pilot’s license. I found out that my severe color-blindness and astigmatism was pretty bad, according to the flight doctor, and even though I could easily get a private pilot license, it would be very unlikely that I could be a fighter pilot, corporate pilot, or even a commercial pilot. I was pretty devastated. I took a few more lessons but decided that I was just wasting money and gave up on that dream.

So I focused more on business – working in an office, running a business, being my own boss, much like my father. I imagined traveling and talking to people, helping them, making money. Later in life some of my imaginations came true. I really believe that I set up these ideas in my mind and looked for them as life went on……

As I have gotten older, I have imagined other things – a career, things about my marriage, things about my daughters and our relationship, my golf game, remodeling homes, etc. We had a totally unfinished upstairs at our first house – my wife and I used to imagine how we’d finish it. Finally we drew some sketches and then went ahead and did it. Like so many people, we visualized the outcome long before it was done.

….Imagination is so powerful. It is pretty fun too. Just think about it – basically everything in our world; homes, buildings, books, movies, amusement parks, hospitals, songs, art – everything happening in some way or another in someone’s imagination first….then it became real. Think about Disney World and that great empire….even if you aren’t a fan of going there it is a wonder of achievement and making dreams happen.

Imagination can be our friend or foe. Worrying is a form of negative imagination. If you sit around and worry, you are imagining bad things. Just as you can create an idea about remodeling, then make it happen, you can create a situation that involves stress, anxiety, fear, anger – and it too can happen.

Imagination; paired with the right emotions and a strategy, can help you achieve anything! When was the last time you had some fun and imagined a bit. Take a moment and imagine – almost like you were a kid. Maybe you want to think about your golf game, a relationship, your career, or just something crazy and fun. Take time and do it.

Below is from Wayne Dyer at www.waynedyer.com. He shares his thoughts about imagination…….

Your imagination is your own fertile field for growing any seedlings that you choose to plant for a future harvest.

You may have been told that you have always been a dreamer, as if this were a fault. I can speak here from experience. Family, friends, teachers, and even advisors frequently disparaged ideas that burned brightly in my imagination. I often heard comments such as, “Wayne, you’re such a dreamer. Get real. You are never going to make it as a writer, or a television performer, or a movie personality. Be realistic—we know what’s best for you.”

When I was being discharged from the Navy at the age of 22, my superiors warned me that starting college at my “advanced age” was loaded with uncertainty, particularly since I had no higher education experience, and I would be competing with younger recent high school graduates. Since I already had a skill as a cryptographer in the Navy, they advised me to pursue what they felt was best for me. But I had a dream—an imagination filled with the idea of teaching, writing, and speaking to large audiences. I saw myself onstage. I saw myself as a prominent author. And this vision could not and would not be sabotaged by someone else’s vision of what I should or could become.

As a young boy in a foster home, I almost always ignored other people’s ideas about what I should be thinking or doing—I simply was indifferent to their opinions regarding what I could imagine for myself. I have carried this kind of inner discipline regarding my own imagination with clarity, refusing to allow external opinions to cancel or diminish what for me was hallowed ground.

Not long ago, others advised me that acting in a movie was not sensible for me as a 68-year-old man with no acting experience. I once again remembered to hang the DO NOT DISTURB sign at the entrance to my imagination, and proceeded to take acting lessons and adopt the self-enforced regimen that allowed me to create a movie. It is a product that fills me with pride today—all because I have diligently practiced the following rule:

Never, and I mean never, allow anyone else’s ideas of who you can or can’t become sully your dream or pollute your imagination. This is your territory, and a KEEP OUT sign is a great thing to erect at all entrances to your imagination.

Stay in a state of grace and gratitude for this resplendent gift that is always yours to do with as you choose.

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