Tag Archives: success

Frey Freyday – Metaphor

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Metaphor-noun  met·a·phor \ˈme-tə-ˌfȯr also -fər\ –  a figure of speech in which a word or phrase literally denoting one kind of object or idea is used in place of another to suggest a likeness or analogy between them

My goal is to create a metaphor that changes our reality by charming people into considering their world in a different way. Chuck Palahniuk

Sometimes I think that creativity is a matter of seeing, or stumbling over, unobvious similarities between things – like composing a fresh metaphor, but on a more complex scale. David Mitchell

What draws me in is that a trip is a leap in the dark. It’s like a metaphor for life. You set off from home, and in the classic travel book, you go to an unknown place. You discover a different world, and you discover yourself. Paul Theroux

What you look for in a picture is a metaphor, something that means something more, that makes you think about things you’ve seen or thought about. Mary Ellen Mark

Metaphors allow you to make the complex simple and the controversial palatable. Conversely, metaphors allow you to create extraordinary meaning out of the seemingly mundane.  Brian Clark

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Metaphor – Metaphors are powerful figures of speech that can influence and persuade, for good or bad. They can influence our behavior and beliefs. They can change how we look at our lives.

Metaphors are often said to help explain complex topics.

Metaphors create vivid images in your head. Metaphors make it easier to understand and remember your focus, goal, values, priorities, etc.

Just like a story, a metaphor engages your brain – the right brain. Metaphors can by-pass rationality and lower defenses to concepts, ideas, beliefs. Metaphors can make you more persuasive, to yourself and others.

So – in life we all use metaphors whether we realize it or not. Did you ever hear “I’m at the end of my rope.” Or “I’m carrying the world on my shoulders.”? We’ve all said something like these perhaps, but they aren’t empowering.

Or maybe “Life is a battle”, “Business is war” – people who use these metaphors may have a different experience than people who say, “Life is a beach” or “Business is a game”. How do you refer to the world – “The masses are asses” or that humanity is “One big family”?

Behind metaphors are beliefs. When you choose a metaphor to describe your life or circumstances, you are choosing the beliefs that it supports.

So if you’re “Feeling fenced in”, then go open the gate and get moving. If you “Can’t see the answer”, then put on some glasses – or a VR visor? – and find the answer that will make things better. If you’re “swimming in a sea of problems”, just reach down and pull out the drain, so you can walk ahead.

Think about what you say; “Life is ___”, “I feel like ____”,   Is it a test, struggle, game, battle? Is it a mystery, dance, garden full of wildflowers?

Do you see what I mean? Change your metaphors. Be aware of them. Ask yourself if they’re empowering. Do the metaphors that you use help you or hold you back?

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

 

BONUS

http://www.ted.com/talks/james_geary_metaphorically_speaking

Aphorism enthusiast and author James Geary waxes on a fascinating fixture of human language: the metaphor. Friend of scribes from Aristotle to Elvis, metaphor can subtly influence the decisions we make, Geary says.

Frey Freyday – Habits

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Habit-noun-hab·it \ˈha-bət\ –a behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition or physiologic exposure that shows itself in regularity or increased facility of performance

Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones. Benjamin Franklin

Young children need to develop good habits that will be useful to them the rest of their lives. It is important to keep the lessons age-appropriate. For example, when your children start earning allowances, that would be a good time to teach them how to put some money in the bank instead of spending it all. Bill Rancic

You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, ‘I release the need for this in my life’. Wayne Dyer

When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways – either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength. Dalai Lama

Habits change into character. Ovid

The people you surround yourself with influence your behaviors, so choose friends who have healthy habits. Dan Buettner

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Habit – a seemingly small thing that can add up and either improve your life, or not.

Habits aren’t destiny. We can substitute, change and interrupt habits, we can transform our businesses, our communities, and our lives.

Habits occur every day whether we’re aware of it or not. Habits shape our beliefs, our daily accomplishments, our moods, our health, our success, our relationship – habits are like the bricks in a large building – each one builds upon the other. They may appear meaningless or small but each is part of the building. If a brick – or a habit – isn’t a good one, it can weaken the whole building.

Good habits breed good health, success, happiness, good relationships, creativity, abundance.

Habits can be changed, interrupted and replaced.

First we must be aware of the habit and identify it. We need to identify what the trigger is, the routine, the reward and the cue. Interrupt the pattern.

If you eat chips at 10pm each night, ask why you do it, what is the trigger or cue, what is the real reward?

Once you identify the habit and uncover the possible reward(s), experiment with replacing the reward(s). So next time when you go for chips at 10pm, try eating an apple, celery or something healthy. Or instead of eating, go for a late walk, exercise a little, read something interesting, or do something fun/creative – something that provides a reward to you – experiment.

Also, think about habits that you can add or change that will further your goals. Knowledge and goals are nice but without action, they are nothing. Habits are small steps in action.

What steps can you take today to move towards a goal or dream – even a little. What habits can you start that will help you reach your goal or dream?

What habits can you do each day that will help you be happier, healthier, more successful, creative? What is important to you and how can changing/building habits each day improve your life?

Take a moment to think about each little thing you do every minute or hour and think about if that improves your day and life, or if it holds you back in some way.

  • Can you exercise more? Can you spend time reading more? Can you take time to be creative in some way? Can you eat less/healthier/something else? Can you save more? Can you volunteer/contribute? Can I meditate?
  • Can I spend time asking better questions? Can I visualize my goals? Can I think of a solution to a challenge rather than just complaining? Can I be proactive? Can I reach out to a loved one in some meaningful way? Can I get up/go to bed at a better time?

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

 

BONUS Resource: TED Talk

http://www.ted.com/playlists/321/talks_to_form_better_habits

A Summary/Playlist of 8 talks to form better habits

 

Frey Freyday – Stop

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Stop-[stäp]-VERB-(of an event, action, or process) come to an end; cease to happen:

We are so unforgiving of ourselves. We don’t recognize our own beauty because we’re too busy comparing ourselves to other people. Wayne Dyer

Stop Comparing Yourself With Others – don’t compare yourself to others. There will always be someone better or worse. Run your own race. Do better than you did last time. You are unique. Do your thing. Comparing leads to envy, feelings of inadequacy, etc. If you’re grateful for what you have, and if you focus on what works and where you want to go/improve, then others won’t matter anyhow.

We can each define ambition and progress for ourselves. The goal is to work toward a world where expectations are not set by the stereotypes that hold us back, but by our personal passion, talents and interests. Sheryl Sandberg

Stop Being Trapped By Peoples’ Judgements, Expectations, and Assumptions Of You- It used to really bother me when people made a judgement or assumption about me, even if it was correct, but typically it was incorrect. “You don’t know me”, I thought. Even well-meaning and loving friends, relatives, colleagues place expectations upon us. We can easily ‘feel’ the expectations that society puts on us. There are all sorts of expectations about education; that you should obtain a degree, secure a good job, find a soulmate in your twenties, and then get married and raise a happy family. But it does not need to happen that way. Make up your own map, your own route. We are expected to maintain a lot of good friends, be good citizens, have a nice home, dress a certain way. Some people think that we should manage our emotions and keep our vulnerable side hidden. All these expectations can weigh heavily upon us. Again, block out the outside voices, be calm, get connected and listen to the ‘real you’, your inner voice. If you need to, pray, meditate, take a walk. Separate your desires from those imposed upon you by external forces. Take time to know yourself and shape a life that suits you rather than following the expectations of the crowd. Stop caring what others think. They don’t really know the real you anyhow. Also, others may be fearful and even though they love and care for you, their fears may cloud what they say or do for you.

To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him. Buddha

Stop Sacrificing Your Happiness For Someone Else- Sure, there are times in the short-term where you may have to do something, or not do something, in order to help a loved-one out, to get them through something. Any caring person may want to do that. But sometimes we may feel like we have to put our dreams on hold to cater to someone else’s desires or lifestyle preferences. Perhaps you move in order to support your mate’s career, or maybe you have taken on a less desirable job so you can spend more time caring for someone. Ask anyone who has done it for a period of time; sacrificing one’s own happiness may feel noble but in the long run it seldom works well. Self-sacrifice leads to bitterness and resentment, whereas chasing one’s dreams often results in contentment and fulfilment. Try to strike a compromise between supporting others and leading the kind of life you want. Remember, too, that there is no way to happiness, but you need to be happy along the way no matter where you are.

If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of. Bruce Lee

Stop Wasting Time On Meaningless Stuff- Time is the most precious commodity of all. You can always make more friends and earn more money, but time spent is time you will never see again. Some hobbies and pastimes are good, even healthy to a degree. It’s Ok to have a ‘guilty pleasure’ once in a while with an activity, TV show or good book. However, stop wasting time on frivolous pursuits and learn how to focus. It’s OK and important to relax and unwind once in a while, but if you want to lead your ideal life then you need to clarify your aims and devote the majority of your time to making sure they are realized.

Successful people, regardless of career or income, maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them. Jack Canfield

Stop Focusing On The Negative –In any garden there are healthy, good plants and vegetables, and there are weeds. I don’t recommend ignoring the weeds, but are you focusing on just the weeds? Everyday we all face a mixture of we interpret as good, bad, and annoying things, perhaps. Remember that your experience of life will largely depend upon the perspective you choose to take. If you focus on the negatives in every situation, you are training yourself to view the world through a negative lens. Try to find the positive in every situation and life will feel much more bearable. Focus on what is working in your life. Focus on successful references in your past to build confidence. Focus on what you want from life and where you want to go. If you spend time with other positive people, this can help you develop this habit. We are the ‘average of the 5 people we spend time with’.

It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. Confucius

Stop Waiting To Get What You Want – It’s Ok to want things and to have goals. It’s Ok to want things to be better. However, waiting is not the answer. Life is too short. We must take action. Ask yourself what you have done lately to make progress towards your goals. What can you do today, even the smallest thing, to work towards a goal? Ultimately the initiative and energy must come from you. Make 2017 the year you stop waiting and start taking actions.

You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Henry David Thoreau

Stop And Smell the Roses – Again, life is too short. Be in the moment. Enjoy the world around you each day. Your best memories exist because you were present in that moment. You are creating new memories now – unless you’re not in the moment. Tell your loved ones how you feel. Take time to communicate and connect, that’s why we’re here. Enjoy life.

You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action. Tony Robbins

Don’t Stop Taking Action.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

 

Frey Freyday – Career

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

ca·reer-[kəˈrir] -an occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person’s life and with opportunities for progress.

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. Michael Jordan

Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success. Paul J. Meyer

You have to think of your career the way you look at the ocean, deciding which wave you’re gonna take and which waves you’re not gonna take. Some of the waves are going to be big, some are gonna be small, sometimes the sea is going to be calm. Your career is not going to be one steady march upward to glory. Alan Arkin

It’s like Forrest Gump said, ‘Life is like a box of chocolates.’ Your career is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’re going to get. But everything you get is going to teach you something along the way and make you the person you are today. That’s the exciting part – it’s an adventure in itself. Nick Carter

I have frequently been questioned, especially by women, of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career. Well, it has not been easy. Marie Curie

The secret to modern life is finding the measure in time management. I have two kids, career and I travel, and I don’t think my life is any different than most couples. The most valuable commodity now for many people is time and how to parcel that out. Hugh Jackman

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Career  – something that you try to plan out as a goal, perhaps, but often ends up as a wonderful, winding journey. A career is something over years and decades, a big-picture item. A job is a shorter-term role that you have, whereas you have multiple jobs in your overall career.

 

While there are some people that seem to be laser-focused on being one thing all their life, and actually achieving it, it seems more people, myself included, have some initial ideas and goals about their career but then life happens and their path changes, varies, and things don’t often end up as planned – and that is often for the better.

 

I’ve heard so many people say that they didn’t start out in their current field but life, choices, circumstances and opportunities took them on a road with different paths, curves and surprises – and that despite never imaging that they’d end up where they are, they’re happy where they are today, and they enjoyed the journey. I feel the same way, too.

 

Having faith in ourselves, in others, in our world, and in our future helps. Having a vision of what we want from life and what’s important helps and guides us. Being assertive, asking for what we want and being polite yet persistent helps us. Ask and you shall receive, seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be opened.

 

Careers have ups and downs and serious challenges. Those challenges offer such great life lessons and help us appreciate things more, and these events give us a better perspective on life. In the moment, these hurdles can overwhelm or frustrate us but given the right state of mind and perspective, often over time, good things can come of tough times.

 

I’ve seen it in my own career and with other’s, we’ll focus on job opportunity that we really, really want and go after it. Ultimately we don’t get that opportunity and we’re very disappointed. After time passes we look back and see that it probably wasn’t such a great opportunity for us in the first place – not in a ‘sour grapes’ manner – but in so far as things we didn’t see before….

One time I applied for and really wanted a business consulting job. After 5 or 6 interviews, I really desired it and thought I had a good chance of getting it. I learned that they ‘went in another direction’. It hurt for a while. Not long after, that consulting firm, in another city, was linked to some “improprieties” and the firm essentially closed-up shop all over the world and no longer exists today. I look back and I’m grateful that I didn’t have to go through those events.

 

Also, careers can a difficult balancing act for any parent. Personally I know that I’ve made choices where I could spend more time as a parent or spend more time working in many of my roles in my life. I’ve had many situations where I essentially had to choose to be a parent or to be career-focused. I know that I could probably be farther ahead in my field, in my company and better off with my compensation if I chose to work ‘harder’ but that’s OK. There is nothing wrong with choosing career over kids or vice versa, it is just a choice. I often choose to be a parent because I’ve seen others in my life that chose the career first and they’ve told me that they missed their children growing up and they regret it and they can’t get that back – you can always keep working after the kids leave home or work harder later in life. On one’s death bed, people typically don’t say that they wished that they worked more but I’m guessing that they may regret not spending more time with their children or living life.

 

I think that we all have to consider the types of roles, freedom, interactions that we want from our career. Do you want to work for a big corporation or have independence? Challenges or stability? How will your career affect you and your family in the long run? What are your priorities for your career, life, family, financials, health and quality of life? Priorities changes as we get older. Often we’re more focused on money early in our careers, then more focused on flexibility, freedom and quality of life as we age, for instance.

 

Note that the ‘rocking chair test’ is great for choosing career changes ( the rocking chair test is when you imagine yourself old and wise, sitting in your rocking chair years/decades from now looking back on your life – how will you evaluate your decision today when you’re older?)

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB).

Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes ntentionally,

sometimes accidentally….

…………….So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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Frey Freyday – Fulfillment

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

FULFILLMENT – [foo l-fil-muh nt] -the state or quality of being fulfilled; completion; realization:

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost. H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I firmly believe that any man’s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle. Vince Lombardi

Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life’s deepest joy: true fulfillment. Tony Robbins

Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life; everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated, thus, everyone’s task is unique as his specific opportunity to implement it. Viktor E. Frankl

An attitude to life which seeks fulfillment in the single-minded pursuit of wealth – in short, materialism – does not fit into this world, because it contains within itself no limiting principle, while the environment in which it is placed is strictly limited. E. F. Schumacher

If you so choose, even the unexpected setbacks can bring new and positive possibilities. If you so choose, you can find value and fulfillment in every circumstance. Ralph Marston

It’s OK to have a plan, to invest in your future – for your financial security, your love life, your personal fulfillment, and even your happiness. To have personal happiness as a stated goal doesn’t detract from it if you get there. Karen Finerman

Most of us have considerable prosperity in our lives. Often, we are so busy pursuing our unmet desires that we are unable to enjoy all that we already have. Allowing ourselves to really appreciate the prosperity we have created is a big step toward opening to even greater fulfillment. Shakti Gawain

It is not in the pursuit of happiness that we find fulfillment, it is in the happiness of pursuit. Denis Waitley

WORD TO LIVE BY:
Fulfillment
– It is something that we sometimes chase yet we have it right inside of us and can find it whenever we really want. Fulfilling oneself often has little to do with thinking or doing for oneself but thinking or doing for another. Fulfillment is unique to all of us. Fulfillment is necessary for happiness, happiness is necessary for fulfillment.

What does fulfillment really mean? I think that’s up to us. I think about Robin Williams. People all over the world loved him. He made us laugh and cry. He was so talented. He wanted to achieve so many things in life, and he did so. He had a hit T.V. series, great stand-up comedy, he won awards for being a comedian and for being a serious actor. He made great movies. He had a loving family and personal wealth. He had friends and loved ones. He had all of these achievements but still he was not fulfilled.

Our society can push achievement, possessions, educational accomplishments, wealth, career…. Yet those things typically don’t lead us directly to fulfillment.

Contributing, helping others, finding and following a purpose in one’s life helps us closer to fulfillment.

Appreciating what we have, being happy now regardless of the circumstances, living in the moment and thoughts of gratitude are necessary for fulfillment.

Many of us are looking for that thing that will give us deep fulfilment. It isn’t outside of you. It’s not hiding in a job, in possessions, in a house, in a relationship, or anything else. There is nothing wrong with having those things and they are all nice things to have. But remember that deep fulfillment will not come from any of those sources. It comes from you, your actions, your thoughts, the meaning you assign to things……

You’re already a full and complete person.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

Frey Freyday – Failure

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Failure – [ˈfālyər] – omission of occurrence or performance; specifically :  a failing to perform a duty or expected action

Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the Seed of an equivalent or a greater Benefit. – Napoleon Hill

Success is the result of perfection, hard work, learning from failure, loyalty, and persistence. Colin Powell

It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure. Bill Gates

Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure… than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat. Theodore Roosevelt

I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying. Michael Jordan

It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default. J. K. Rowling

You make mistakes. Mistakes don’t make you. Maxwell Maltz

WORD TO LIVE BY:

 

Failure-

When I ask someone what they mean when they say they’re afraid of failure, they typically reply, “Well, Jim, I’m afraid I might fail.” And so they don’t try anything. That certainly guarantees they won’t fail, right?

Many people use fear of failure as an excuse for not taking the necessary actions to develop new skills that will move them forward. What they don’t understand is that you can’t succeed until you fail first.

Remember back when you first learned to learn sports or ride a bike? We all fell down, we got bruised, skinned your knee. And we all then you got up, dusted ourselves off, and continued on until we fell off again. Ultimately we learned to ride a bike!

Falling didn’t stop you from trying, right? Did you ever hear of a kid who quit trying and never learned to ride a bike? Of course not. Failure was not an option.

Whether they realize it or not, people use fear of failure as an excuse to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

There is a myth about successful people – it is that they never fail. In reality, the truth is successful people fail a lot more than unsuccessful people-but they don’t attach any meaning to it -Just like you didn’t when you fell off your bike learning to ride.

For successful people, failing doesn’t mean they are a failure. They know everyone has failures and missteps-and it’s how you handle them that matters. Let’s look at some examples, shall we?

In the early ’80s, a young singer left an abusive household in Indiana and hitchhiked to L.A., armed only with his music and an attitude. Over the next couple of years, he spent his days crashing in a rundown apartment and his nights playing with a long string of bands that never got a big break.

But unlike the legions of would-be rockers who threw in the towel, Axl Rose never wavered from exactly what he wanted. He was on a mission. “Going into Guns N’ Roses, there wasn’t a number two [backup plan],” says the legendary front man. “At that time I was going to make it in a band, and it was all the way or bust.”

Nothing can stop a man or woman with a vision. And rockers aren’t the only ones who know this. I recently read an article on a website called Horsesmouth.com by Jim Rohrbach.

It is a great article. The author there recommends that you ‘Make persistence your mantra’

He goes onto say “While the world was using candles and whale oil for light in 1878, an inventor in Menlo Park, N.J., was determined to find a better way. Inventors had been pursuing a light bulb since early in the 19th century, but it was Thomas Edison and his team that worked persistently until they came up with a usable incandescent bulb. Painstakingly testing filaments made from an endless variety of materials from wires to animal hairs, Edison finally developed a carbonized bamboo filament that could burn some 600 hours by 1880. (And by 1882, Edison had established the Edison Electrical Light Company and was providing New York City with electricity to power his invention.)

“I have not failed,” Edison famously said of his lengthy pursuit of a practical prototype. “I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Imagine if Edison had said, “Gee, I’d like to find the right filament for the light bulb, but I’m afraid I won’t, so never mind-I don’t want to look foolish.” We’d be reviewing client statements with candles right now! Of course, Edison went on not only to invent the light bulb but to garner more than 1,000 patents for his many world­changing inventions (including-did you know?-the stock ticker).

Persistence, Edison knew well, is a powerful key to defeating the specter of failure.

(-horsesmouth.com – by Jim Rohrbach)

What is our fear?

For me, I know that, especially in the past (and even occasionally today) I am too concerned with what family, friends, peers, and teachers say about what I attempt to do.  Many people are afraid of our peers and family input.

Jim Rohrbach also pointed out in his article that “fear of failure is a self-fulfilling prophecy: when you say you can’t do something, you’re selling this idea to yourself.”

The measure of a person is not how well they start, but how well they finish. Anyone can start. Following through and finishing is another story altogether. Bottom line: it takes far more fortitude to finish something than it does to start it, especially as an entrepreneur.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.
So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from..

 

Frey Freyday – Excuses

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Excuse – \ik-ˈskyüz – to try to remove blame from

I attribute my success to this – I never gave or took any excuse. Florence Nightingale

Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Henry Ward Beecher

An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie, for an excuse is a lie guarded. Pope John Paul II

Using the power of decision gives you the capacity to get past any excuse to change any and every part of your life in an instant. Tony Robbins

An excuse becomes an obstacle in your journey to success when it is made in place of your best effort or when it is used as the object of the blame. Bo Bennett

Most people don’t have that willingness to break bad habits. They have a lot of excuses and they talk like victims. Carlos Santana

You’ll ultimately realize that there are no excuses worth defending, ever, even if they’ve always been part of your life—and the joy of releasing them will resonate throughout your very being. Wayne Dyer

One of life’s fundamental truths states, ‘Ask and you shall receive.’ As kids we get used to asking for things, but somehow we lose this ability in adulthood. We come up with all sorts of excuses and reasons to avoid any possibility of criticism or rejection. Jack Canfield

WORD TO LIVE BY: (not live by)

EXCUSES- a phony reason not to get out there and succeed.

Did you ever notice that when you’re at a family get together, or some other social event where you’re with friends or people that you know really well, you can sometimes notice others making excuses?

While we can always learn from watching others, if we are honest and brave, we can evaluate and look at ourselves – – my point is this:

We ALL use Fear as an Excuse!

I was at a nice picnic this weekend and a few of the ladies were there and just full of fear for so many things and they were talking about many things in their lives that they just didn’t want to do or “just couldn’t”.

At first I got a little judgmental and thought “Tsk!”, then I stopped myself. I tried to look at them and see what I didn’t like – and what it was in me.

I saw how I use Fear as an excuse. Recently I’ve had various opportunities in my career and with real estate. In the past I had a bad real estate experience, so I chose to pass on this opportunity. Looking back, it wasn’t a great decision to pass like I did – I at least needed to spend more time researching – but my fears about the past clouded my current-day decision.

  • How are you using Fear to hold you back, consciously or unconsciously?
  • What can you do to wipe out fear so you can make better decisions?
  • What can you do to wipe out fear so that you can live your life?
  • What kinds of questions can you ask yourself to change this habit?
  • What kinds of things can you do to interrupt the pattern of fear?

Look at all of the times, the opportunities, the ‘stuff of life’ that you may have missed.

Could you be better off if you were less fearful? If you had less excuses?

In one way or another most of us have an excuse about some part of our lives. Maybe the excuse comes in the form of a limiting belief. Either way, we have them. Some excuses are on the surface – those that might think about consciously or those we say and share with others.

Other excuses are deep down – we may know about them or not – either way, we keep them hidden deep down and may use them to convince ourselves, right?

We have excuses about work, love, life, money, relationships, health….

These excuses can be a crutch. Sometimes we get comfortable with our excuses and with our life that we settle for something. We need to raise our standards and just let go of the excuses.

What are your deep excuses and beliefs? Be honest. It isn’t necessarily fun to think about but we need to do so.

Facing them and addressing them is a great step to take – right now.

First – honestly identify at least one ‘excuse’ – a deep secret one.

Second – write a question that forces your mind to think otherwise – FOR EXAMPLE: if you think that you’re too old, you could ask yourself a question something like, “How does my age, wisdom, and experience give me an edge? Why does my age, wisdom and experience help me achieve my goals? In what ways do my age, experience and wisdom help me in my life?” – THEN try to answer these – write down ways that your age helps you, benefits you, and find positive references, achievements and such from the past. Do this often.

Third – repeat, and make sure you’re being honest with yourself!

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.
So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from..

frey_freydays

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