How to Sustain Hope

Secrets to an energized, engaged, and fulfilling life from #1 New York Times bestselling author Brendon Burchard

Click here http://youtu.be/iY9lNNXbsv4

Transcript:

That you have a single breath within your body right now and that you are alive in this moment is hope.

That you can see all these people walking on the streets smiling is hope.

That all these entrepreneurs are posting their art online every single day now, there is hope there.

That there is a single person out in this world whose soul is still burning alive with love is hope.

It’s so easy, during these days when sometimes there’s darkness, when you see all this negative media coverage, or maybe you have a series of bad days or bad weeks, or your lucky break just isn’t coming, or you’ve been fighting for that dream but you just don’t sense any of that progress that you need to still feel enlivened, engaged and enthusiastic about something, or someone breaks up with you, or you lose your job, or something happens with your health.

That’s part of life—that there’s going to be so many struggles, disappointments, challenges, setbacks and dark days.

Part of sustaining and making it through all of that is maintaining hope. And hope isn’t something that’s just some airy fairy concept; it is a psychological need to believe that we can endure. A psychological need to believe that we can not only endure but that we can succeed and thrive and we can have our way in the world, so that we can accomplish our dreams, make influence and make our own difference. Have hope.

But, even as I say that, let me reconfigure that statement and phrase because too many people say, “Well, you have hope or you can lose hope.” But hope isn’t something you actually “have” or lose, even though we say that phrase at such a popular level.

Years ago, a metaphor came into my life that changed my life forever. It changed my attitude, my actions and how I thought about life and frankly, how I felt every single moment of the day. It was something that lifted me to a whole other level of joy and vibrancy in life. It was this simple metaphor: The power plant doesn’t ‘have’ energy, it transforms and generates energy.

At the same level, we don’t “have” hope. We transform the energy around us and generate hope. We don’t “have” happiness; we generate happiness. Similarly, we don’t “have” sadness or fatigue. We don’t “have” those feelings that so many people think are negative that just land on them. We are, in our own actions, our own thoughts and interpretations—the very thoughts that we’re feeding our psyche—those very things are generating an emotion. And hope is something that is generated by us.

When it feels like it is gone, it becomes a to-do list for us to generate it once more, just like when your phone is dying you plug it in to charge it up. Well, when your hope is dying, it’s time to generate and charge it up again. It’s the same thing with happiness and aliveness and enthusiasm. Those are things when they’re going down you have to get focused and plug back into your passions, to your dreams, to tomorrow to charge yourself back up again and it begins with first and foremost, keeping perspective.

Keep Perspective

A lot of people “lose” hope because their focus goes off. They become very myopic to their own ego, their own emotional reality, their own tiny little world and they miss the joy, abundance, the connection, the incredible energy of this buoyant and jubilant world all around them, even when sometimes the immediate people in their lives or their immediate tribe or culture is not so good.

We have 7 billion people alive today and somehow we haven’t all killed each other—that sustains and motivates hope.

The reality that so many people are making it, that freedom is starting to perpetuate around the world more, that wealth and abundance is coming to more and more and more people, that more and more people are able to dictate their aims, attitudes and dreams today because more information is available than ever before… These things give us hope.

So as soon as we lose perspective and just go into our little tiny day, our little tiny moment, it’s time to expand your awareness and consciousness to the greater stream of life that is happening all around.

Go for a walk in the woods. Look at nature and realize how lucky we are to be here. Go for a stroll outside and look at people as they smile and realize how lucky you are to be here. Walk into a restaurant and see people flirting with each other and having fun at dinner or celebrating, and you start getting a different sense of life. Sometimes you have to get out of your house to feel hope, to keep perspective.

Remember Your Strength

If you’re down right now and struggling, don’t forget to also pull forth and integrate those successes that you’ve had before, those times in your life when things did go well, those times in your life when you surprise yourself with how well you did something or how kind you were or how much you cared or how good of a piece of art you did create. Remember those strength times, those times that there was success, those times that good things did happen. Pull them, feel them, sense them and bring those things to the moment at hand where things do feel frustrating, challenging, disappointing or dark.

Don’t lose perspective. You’ve had beautiful days before. They’ll come again. It’s believing in that that sustains our hope.

Make a Plan

It’s easy to lose hope if there’s no plan. If there’s no vision the people perish. That’s biblical, right? So you have to have a vision for your life.

What is it you see out there for yourself? What is your plan to go and get it?

Believe in your ability to go and be able to make those things come true, even if you’re frustrated and challenged right now, because in this moment, you can choose new thoughts. In this moment you can choose new actions. You can choose to go now and learn some new things, get more and better mentors, to get around a more positive group of people, to read better books and watch better programming. You can choose to direct your focus in ways that will support your growth and have the ability to achieve a plan.

Sit down tonight, amidst all the turmoil and craziness of the world if that’s what you’re feeling, sit with a piece of paper and pen and spill out hope onto the page of what you want to do with your life. Spill out hope onto the page about what it is you want to give, what it is you want to accomplish, achieve, connect and contribute with the world or create. Write it down. Write out reasons to be grateful. Write out reasons to go achieve things. Write out things you want to make happen and start putting a plan towards that.

What would be step one, step two, step three? As you start marching along to achieve that and you fall or falter, don’t give up on yourself. Know that there’s always a new step. If you fail at one step, create a new step to get back up to the next step.

Don’t give up just because it’s challenging or struggling because your dreams are worth it and your dreams don’t care how hard it gets. Your dreams don’t care if you get frustrated. Your dreams don’t care if there’s going to be dark days. Your dreams know they are worth it and it’s time for you to believe in them again and start working towards them at full capacity.

That brings up the third thing.

Stay Persistent

To have hope we have to stay persistent. To keep at it no matter what.

If we’ve got our perspective in mind. If we have our plan then we have to be persistent, to keep working towards it.

There were so many times that I almost stopped doing these videos. So many times that I thought I’m not going to write another book. So many times I thought no one cares about my blog posts or Facebook posts. No one cares about my YouTube show. No one cares about me. Oh, whoa is me.

We can all sit on the couch, eat a bunch of potato chips and watch stupid television and feel sorry for ourselves, but that does not contribute to our aliveness. It does not contribute to the connection of those we love and care for and it does not contribute to the things we create and ultimately give to the world.

We have to say you know what, what are we going to persist at? Sitting and eating potato chips and watching TV? That’s not going to be good.

What we have to do is persist towards our dreams.

What are the three things you could accomplish this very day and tomorrow and start moving towards your dreams?

Every day wake up with an intention: I’m going to do at least three things to move myself forward to something that matters. At least three things—everybody can do that.

What are the three things I’m going to do to move my life forward this day?

Who would I need to reach out to, to be able to move forward?

What could I read or study online to move forward?

What could I do just one simple request or movement or step to move forward and persist at that over and over again?

That’s how things change.

People look at me now and they’re like, “Wow, you know, you have millions of views on YouTube and millions of followers online from Facebook to your email, number one bestselling books” and all these things. There were a million times I could have given up, but I sustained hope that it would ultimately make a difference, that if I just kept persisting at it and kept working that one day it would turn out. If I stayed on the path of my dreams and kept removing distractions. I didn’t say yes to everything. I said yes to what moved me towards my dreams. I worked towards that with such persistence that now I get to do this and it’s true joy.

I couldn’t have done it without, not only your support, but without the realization that hope is important to sustain.

Be Patient

If you’re really frustrated and hating it right now, the easiest way for hope to go out the door is to get in a hurry. So you’re getting in a big hurry, you’re pushing and now you don’t sense the win, the momentum or progress anymore, you’re just more, more, more. You’re in such a big hurry to have more things that sometimes it feels like you have nothing and the reality is you do. But a part of achieving anything is having the patience to work towards it, and having the patience with other people.

Sometimes we lose hope in other people, not really that we lost hope… we just forgot to be patient with them. You need to give a lot of patience to the people in your life if you’re going to sustain hope for them and for your relationships with them. Patience is a critical element. It’s not discussed a lot, but it’s so fundamental to having hope: to be patient with it.

I hope you’ll take those things to mind because I know the days can get dark, but you deserve to have your dreams. You deserve to keep at them. You deserve to sustain that full power, that full energy that hope can cultivate in you, because when you have full hope you’re more confident and willing to go for it or willing to try. You deserve it. Your dreams deserve it and each day starts to feel a little more bright, each day starts to feel a little more magical, each day you start to notice the things to have hope for. Each day you notice the things you’ve done that make other people hopeful.

The next thing you know, suddenly you have this incredible life that’s full of hope, aliveness, joy and full of light, and that’s what we call The Charged Life.

———

Like this post? Please share it your friends and family. Let’s bring the charge and spark and joy to others.

Design the Perfect Day

I know that I need to work on this one-and I’ve done it before and it really helped, and I enjoyed it…..

http://brendonburchard.tumblr.com/post/96277486198/how-to-design-the-perfect-day

SUMMARY

To design your ideal day, consider these questions:

What would you want to CREATE?

Who would you want to CONNECT with and spend time with?

What would you like to CONTRIBUTE?

Who would you like to be – what CHARACTER would you show to the world?

Full Transcript:

What would be your perfect day, your ideal day, a day that you went to bed that night and you thought that was the most incredible day? That’s how I want most of the days of my life to be, just like that.

What would that perfect day be like for you?

I’ve asked this to tens of thousands of people around the globe as I travel and do my speeches. I get invited to speak at all these conferences and most people don’t know and that’s amazing. I ask the audience this: how many of you have had a perfect day, one that was so amazing you’re like I was so happy and fulfilled and grateful for that day? How many of you have had one of those perfect days this week?

Usually out of an audience about half the room will raise their hands, so 50% had a perfect day that week. [Keep in mind these are audiences in the personal growth industry. Still, you would be surprised that most people are generally happy and having good weeks. While many people think that most people are miserable, they are incorrect].

Then I say how many of you have had at least two of those this month? People really have to think about it. They don’t know if they’ve had that many good days. They think about it and they’re like no, and it goes down to 30%.

What I end up finding is that most people feel like they had 10, 15 or 20 perfect days in the course of a year. Think about that. There are 365 days in a year and they say they have maybe 10, 15 or 20 perfect days a year.

Of course we have to talk and qualify about this idea of a “perfect” day because maybe people just set too high of expectations for themselves.

Then I ask, “Do you think you have too high of an expectation for that perfect day? For that perfect day that you had… is that something you can’t have ever again?” They’re like no, of course not. Then I say, “So the day is achievable?” And they say yes. Then I ask, “Why don’t you have more of them?” Two reasons it turns out.

It seems that some people just have never clarified what an ideal day would be for themselves.

What would it really be like?

Most importantly, what would it feel like?

What would an ideal day feel like for you?

Have you ever journaled about that?

Is there a vision board somewhere that would describe what that day would be like for you?

Do you have it written down in a journal or a dream sheet that says this would be the ideal day for me; knowing, that maybe that day is so amazing and perfect?

Some people would say, “It would be my wedding day” … They said a singular day.

But I’m talking about more of a lifestyle, not just a day but a life. What would it be like?

What would it feel like for you?

I think there are some common things you can start to think about in designing your [ideal days]. Again, most of the problem is that people don’t have vision for it. It’s Biblical: where there is no vision people perish.

The number one rule I have is to have vision for your life. Know where it is you’re going and what you want to feel, sense, experience, give and contribute or be about.

Let’s talk about some of these things so you can start crafting your ideal day.

The first thing you might want to take into consideration is something I spoke about earlier which is, how does it feel? What does that [ideal] day feel like?

I want you think not about it in terms of what you’re doing, because a lot of people start with the do. Here are the things I have to be doing. I want you to think about what it would feel like for you if you ended that day, laid your bed on the pillow, how would you describe how you felt that day? If you’re clear about the feeling than maybe we can start matching some activities that would generate or help us feel those particular feelings or experience those types of emotions.

What did it feel like? Let’s start moving into a little framework to help you think through this. Usually when you talk about someone’s ideal day there are several things they want to experience in there.

First, they want to create something.

They want to feel like they’ve created or contributed to something. They’ve created an experience with some friends or family. They’ve contributed something specifically to folks that are trying to help out or lead or serve in some way.

What would you like to create or contribute on your ideal day? What would it be? What would that ideal day be about?

Others also say they want to connect.

Their ideal day would let them be with their wife the whole day. Or, they say they want to be with the kids out on the lake fishing or something. So they might have this idea in their mind about that feeling and connection through a relationship with someone that makes them feel alive and fulfilled for that day.

What types of things would you like to create, contribute, but also who would you like to connect with?

Let me pause here and say this… could you create that day? Is this a day you could actually have more than one of a year, two of a year or five of a year?

Most people who have an ideal day, but I think they’re off track in life sometimes because they have a definition of an ideal day in their life and yet they don’t seek to actualize that day. They don’t seem to design their days around that.

Some people say that’s not realistic: People can’t have these ideal lives. You know who says that? Bitter people. Those who have given up on the path of their dreams. People who are so frustrated, jaded and so torn from their belief or from themselves or their dreams that they don’t believe it anymore.

However, I can tell you now having accomplished my dreams it’s possible. I wanted to be a writer and a trainer and get to do this with you full time and now I do that. It’s what I get to do and it’s a fulfillment of my dreams. I can tell you, I’ve met more and more people who are living lives that they’re satisfied with, so engaged and connected with. They wake up with a high degree of enthusiasm for their day and can’t wait to experience that day. At night they’re so grateful for it that they journal about all of their gratitude.

It’s not to be Pollyannaish and say you won’t have some bad days come up, but it’s saying that you can design your days. You can make your life about what you want it to be about.

What do you want [your life] to be about?

What should the majority of your days be about for you, in terms of creating, contributing and connecting?

What should they also be about for you, your character?

Who’s going to show up on your ideal day?

What would you be like on your ideal day?

Would you be weak and fearful or courageous and strong?

Would you be judgmental, mean and upset, full of hatred, jealousy, anger and regret about life and other people?

Or would you be somebody who’s open, excited for others and connecting with other people, positive and enthusiastic?

What would you be like on your ideal day?

Have you ever written that down… Here’s who I would be on my ideal day. Here’s how I’d treat my wife, my partner or my spouse, my lover or the kids. Here’s how I’d treat strangers. Here’s how I’d treat other people.

The idea is, don’t wait until the end of your life to have that ideal day. Don’t wait until next year or next week to have that type of day.

We can choose to wake up every single day and live that day in an idealistic way for ourselves, in a way in which we show up as who we want to be, in a way in which we are doing things that enliven us and engage us and get us excited, in a way that we’re doing things and being with people, creating experiences that feel alive and fulfilling.

We can have that type of life. I call it The Charged Life. Everybody can have it: it’s a matter of discipline in getting it.

Here’s a simple trick and tool to make sure you get more of those ideal days: When you start your day you must own your morning.

If you thought about your ideal day I bet you didn’t say, “Well, I roll out of bed, grab my iPhone and check my email.” That’s not an ideal day.

You have to own that morning to make sure that you’re proactive with that day, to say:

“What is it that I want to be about this day? What are the things I want to achieve create and experience this day? What kind of character do I want to cultivate? What do I want to learn today, give today, and grow today?”

You have to have aim and intention to have a phenomenal day.

It’s not that you can’t go with the flow, the bumps and the bruises and the struggles and hardships of life, but when you’re experiencing those you can still experience them from a place of presence, peace and enthusiasm.

Even the ultimate challenges in my life: having lost friends, lost my father to leukemia,  my own multiple brain injuries, car accidents, ATV accidents, broken enough bones in my body. And it’s a sad story really, but every hardship I’ve ever faced, including leaving [a job] and starting my own business and moving to new cities… Every major obstacle or challenge in my life I always chose to meet that as my ideal self.

I’d always say, “How would my highest self interact with this situation?”

Maybe that sounds Pollyannaish to some people and I know on YouTube I’ll get plenty of hate for it, but a lot of people need to get more intentional about their day, to create the ideal lives, not to have an ideal day once a millennium but to have a string of ideal days.

Even if you’re dealing with struggle and hardship in the world’s curveballs, you’re showing up in a way that when you go to bed at night you’re proud of the way you interacted with the struggle, challenge or demand on you. You’re proud of who you demonstrated yourself to be to the world, that you’re living the ideal character and person you believe yourself to be on a continual basis. And then life starts to feel ideal again.

Give yourself that gift. Do this journey. Take this time today. Sit down, pause the video or watch it again if you have to.

What is the ideal day like for you?

What would that dream day be like for you?

Who’s there?

What are you doing?

What are you contributing?

What might you be learning, giving or being part of?

Think about that. Who are you specifically during that day?

With that intention and aim you start to experience more and more of those days and as more and more of those days start to gather for us the more your character develops force and momentum. The world sees what you’re about and draws more opportunities to you to serve it up to that type of person who wants those types of things. And suddenly you wake up one day, you look around and you have this sense of aliveness and joy in the day. Then, when you look back at the week you’re like, “That was an amazing week, an amazing month, an amazing year, an amazing decade… that was an amazing life and you deserve that.

That is The Charged Life. http://brendonburchard.tumblr.com/post/96277486198/how-to-design-the-perfect-day 

Self Awareness

Here’s a great video and transcript from Brendon Burchard

Summary:

We lose self-awareness when we are:

1. Directionless. How can we feel and sense life if we don’t have the intention to do so? Bring more conscious choice into your days and you will feel enlivened.

2. Detached. If we detach from all negative feeling, we also risk losing connection with positive feeling. You have to feel your experiences and moments again. It’s time to connect to the reality and sensations of life once more.

3. Disassociated. It’s easy to go through life and look at our bad behavior and say, “Well, that just wasn’t the real me.” But that was you. Your actions are who you are just as much as your values and hopes and dreams. And it’s time to own it, to stop trying to disassociate parts of who you are. To feel aware, we must own our entirety, the good and bad, and we must strive to live into our ideal selves.

4. Distracted. Distraction is the ultimate thief of life, of light, of human awareness. We must do all we can do to minimize the inconsequential in our lives. If we are constantly scatter brained then we can never sense or immerse in the magic of each moment. Distraction kills presence, joy, and gratitude. Let us make presence, real focus and the immersion in the moment our aim.

Full Transcript:

It’s so incredible to see in the popular culture, people talking about mindfulness and about self awareness and being present again, because those things are so vital to our ability to feel engaged, happy, joyful and fulfilled in life.

But, a lot of people are struggling with those things. About feeling that sense of self awareness in their life, that real connection, that real presence, that vitality in the Now, that experience of the moment.

Let’s talk about that, because so many people really do feel detached from that. They kind of feel numb as they go throughout the day, or so frustrated or stressed that they aren’t feeling that bliss or connection of vitality that could be experienced every single moment. So why?

I call it the death of self-awareness or the Four Horseman of Self-Awareness. If these things are at play in your life then it’s a lot harder to experience the day as magically as it can be experienced. It’s hard to feel that sense of the charged life.

So let’s talk about this. The first horseman of the four horseman of self awareness is…

1. Lack of Direction

People are somehow directionless. During the day they’re going through the motions.

They’re showing up unconsciously to the world in a reactive state, all day long without any of that proactive more conscious or intentional idealization of what they want, who they are, what they want to achieve, feel or sense that day.

It’s like you could walk across the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco and be like, “I’m at the Golden Gate Bridge; let’s walk across it.” Or you could say,“This is going to be amazing, I can’t wait to see the things and have a real sense of aliveness, vitality, enthusiasm about the experience, to really sense it and feel it.”

I know you’ve been to landmarks, or you’ve been in relationships that happen where something was amazing.

Maybe you had a wedding and you can remember every single momentbecause you looked forward to it and you said, “I’m really going to experience these times.”

Maybe you had the birth of a child or you dropped a child off at school and everything played in slow motion. Because you made the moment meaningful you were mindful to it. You were attentive to your senses. You were attentive to what was happening around you. You were attentive to details and moments and just the experience.

It’s bringing attentiveness to the moment that is mindfulness. It’s being alert and aware to what’s happening around you and engaged with it, allowing it, accepting it, feeling it, and sensing it in a way that life starts to pick up its sense of aliveness. It’s what makes life so magical and meaningful for people when you can get to that state, but you have to have the direction in mind. You have to say, “Okay, this day I’m going to experience this day. I’ve been ho-humming through the days, been going unconsciously through them. Today I’m going to experience the things. I’m going to experience and sense and feel and understand what’s happening around me. I’m really going to connect with the Now.”

You have to give yourself that gift. It’s a direction in your mind that says hey,experience this world. It’s getting in it, sensing it and feeling it.

2. Detachment

This is the second horseman. It’s detachment from any feeling, emotion or even sometimes expectation to the day. It’s not feeling anything or allowing yourself to feel things even when they’re good.

A lot of people have done so much work in their life to blot out negative emotion, that they aren’t letting in positive emotion.

Or so many people feel like they’ve been failing so much in their lives they don’t have a connection things when they do succeed, so they aren’t integratingsuccess. They might have a good series of things happen to them but they don’tfeel them. They don’t allow themselves to take that success in, that win in, really internalize it and say, “Wow, I did that!” and sense that moment of satisfaction or pride to doing something amazing. They never allow themselves any of the positive emotions of life and they don’t allow those positive emotions to stick or settle in.

That’s why, one of the first things a psychologist will do in working with a new patient is making sure at the end of the day they start journaling positive things that happen throughout their day.

It’s scientifically proven that you can essentially start a gratitude journal and lift up your level of happiness in life. Why? Because now you’re paying attention to the things that bring you positive emotion and happiness in life. You’re recording them, writing them down, physicalizing that memory and feeling and sensing it, and allowing it to come in. Try that.

If you feel like you’ve been detached from emotion in life it’s time to allow that back in, to allow yourself to feel passionate and excited about things again. To allow yourself to get dorked out about a new learning opportunity and new things you’re going to see, to allow yourself to say, “I did that, good for me,” and have a sense of pride about some things. You deserve that – you did some good things.

It’s also allowing yourself not to be detached from negative things. So many people are scared to experience a negative thing that it’s like they never develop any strength or capability of dealing with those things.

Do you know anybody who can’t handle conflict they’re always running from conflict? It’s because they’ve always detached from that emotion. Ooh, I’m scared.

Part of the way we’ve become mature enlightened adults is we start to face the things we are fearful of or we are scared of and we allow ourselves to feel it and sense it. It’s okay to feel the fear.

It’s okay to feel uncomfortable about something. It’s okay to feel vulnerable. It’s okay to feel what other people might call negative or scary or uncertain emotions. The more comfort you start to have with uncomfortable emotions, the more comfort you have with uncomfortable situations, the more you start developing a consciousness about how to deal with them. The only way you’re going to develop comfort with them is to allow yourself to accept that and to acknowledge, “This is the feeling I’m having about this. Why am I feeling this way? Is this how I want to feel? Will this add or contribute here? Is there anything I can do to shift or generate a new emotion that would be more positive or healthy for me?”

That’s consciousness, but you can’t do that if you’re detached from every emotion, every opportunity and every experience that comes into your life. You have to feel again.

The third horseman that steals away our own sense of self awareness is so simple and obvious.

3. Disassociation

It is disassociating ourselves and identities with situations. Not just detaching from things, but going through experiences of our lives and saying, “That’s not me.” Showing up every single day and doing something going, “Well, the realme wouldn’t do that. That’s not the real me. The real me is more passionate than that.”

Or maybe you go out with your friends and you go home at night and you’re like, “The real me is more fun you didn’t give me a chance, we needed another date before you’d realize how much fun I am.”

There’s this disassociation that you’ve gone through experiences and saying that’s not you, but it is you. The good news and bad news is that what you’ve been showing up as in this last week, this last month or last year that’s you, even if you disassociate from it and say, “That’s not me.”

That’s what a lot of people try to do they say, “Brendon, that’s not the real me.”No, that’s the real you. That’s what has been showing up and that’s the real result, real effect, real behavior that was you, so stop trying to disassociate from it.

Part of awareness is accepting who we truly are, not just in our mind but in our behaviors in the world. To accept and say “Gosh, that was me. I did do that. I am responsible for myself. I am responsible for my actions, emotion, attitudes, how I treat other people and I need to evaluate that and ask…Is that the person I want to be? Am I happy with that? Am I proud of that? Is there something I could shift in my character or my behavior or beliefs that would make me a better person?”

If we always disassociate and say, that’s not the real me that’s okay, you don’t understand. The real me is like this.

If you haven’t been showing the world the real you than you have not been practicing self awareness or demonstrating consciousness, you’ve been demonstrating the opposite, dissociation. So it’s time to reconnect, take ownership and responsibility for the person you’ve become, even if some of that is negative for you. Say oh gosh okay, I have to change this.

I remember in my own life I would find myself as I hurried sometimes that I would be rude to people. I would say, “I’m not a rude person, but wait, if I’m being rude to people than I am a rude person.” I had to take that to heart and say, “Brendon, that’s not the real you but it is because that’s who you’re showing up as, so I need to shift my behavior in the way I experienced those moments of hurry and how I treat people in those moments of hurry to become the person I know I could be versus the person I was being.”

I know you follow that and it’s so important. I hope you’ll find some inspiration there to really take a look at your life and ask, “Who’s been showing up and are you happy with that person?” If not, then show up in a new way, change, find something within that enlivens you and puts you in a more positive attitude and character that you can be proud of.

4. Distraction

This is the final horseman. Distraction steals people’s awareness. We know from the art and science of studying flow or that neural connection in which we can see that people are freely engaged in whatever activity they’re doing. We know for sure that the more distractions that come in the less engaged they are. And the challenge is we’re all distracted in a million ways right now, and with all this distraction we’re experiencing we aren’t having the opportunity to have any full awareness to a moment because our phone is texting us or our cells going on here or our computer is over there or the kids need this or that.

We’re lacking the ability to bring our full essence and energy into the moments that are meaningful in our lives, and to create meaningful moments in our lives by bringing our full essence and energy into those minutes and moments of our lives.

So you have to say, “Okay, can I minimize distraction?”

The biggest art of developing more awareness in our life is knowing how to deal with distractions, and having a focal point of what we desire, what we intend to feel, give, contribute or create and be focused on that and be aware to it, feel and experience and be part of that and not allow 50 things.

There’s a reason when you go into an artist’s studio that it’s the artist sitting there alone by themselves painting or by themselves working. There’s a reason there are these moments in our lives when we need to create something significant that we need to get away. That’s because we need to apply our full awareness to it.

Look at your life and ask, on a scale of 1-10, how distracted am I? Ten being so distracted nothing is felt, experienced, moved or progressed in life and one being hey, you’re good, you’re totally focused. So 10 is a problem whereas one is not. If you’re at a 5-6-7-8-9 or 10 in distraction trust me, you aren’t going to experience the magic, the joy that is a sense of presence. You aren’t getting that experience of consciousness, of vitality and real engagement with life, because you’re being pulled in too many directions and at some point our energy, the more it’s dissipated by all these distractions the less we feel in life.

The good news about all these things is every one I’ve just mentioned are under your command. These are things you can control.

You can get more direction in your life just by choosing to have it.

You can choose not to be detached to the experiences, but rather engaged with them.

To not be disassociated as a person but rather choose the person who’s experiencing and creating those things.

You can minimize distractions in your life.

When you do that an entire new level of life opens up to you. It feels incredibly engaged. You’re so enthusiastic to experience it every single day and that’s what we call The Charged Life.

Little habits mean a lot…

As I may have mentioned, several years ago I had a challenging year, and I felt that it set me back in many ways.

I lost both parents within 5 weeks of each other, I was temporarily unemployed, and I had losses with my investment property.

I was grieving, sad, depressed, I felt like I wasn’t living up to being a man, a father, etc.

My self talk and thoughts were probably the biggest problem. I worried a lot, thought negative thoughts, went over bad things in the past, focused on what wasn’t working.

Looking back now, trying to learn from the experience, the things that helped me the most were these items:
1. having a vision of how I wanted things to be – and thinking/talking about that vision as if it was already done, already here.

2. asking great, positive questions – like “Why am I so happy?” instead of “Why do I feel so down?”

3. Focusing on what is working, what I have that is good, instead of what doesn’t work, what isn’t good.

I adopted little habits that I tried to do each day –

1. I would write down my vision and when I could, handwrite it/copy it again.
2. I would write down my powerful questions on index cards and read them, even copy them whenever I could. I would pick one each day to really focus on.
3. I started using passwords that were meaningful and helpful to changing my thinking. So instead of some random password like shoe$1lace I might choose whydoIwin6 or whatisgr8, Iamgr8ful and so on. Think about how many times you put in different passwords each day. We type them over and over. What if these were little empowering questions, messages or reminders? wouldn’t that help a little?

Have a good week!

Words to live by: Celebration

This was the most-visited post that I’ve ever had on my blog– I posted it over a year ago. Let’s celebrate!

(This is one of a part of a series of WORDS TO LIVE BY. This series grew out of a workbook I first made for my young daughters and discussed at the dinner table. These Words include values, good ideas, and Words to aspire to….and learn from….enjoy!)

I know right away some people may question why or what I mean by celebration and why it is a Word To Live By.

I think we all need to celebrate more often.

Yes, I said we. As I’ve mentioned before, I am naturally a low-key guy. I think part of me tries to downplay things. I notice that especially with friends, with my sisters, and relatives – those with which I grew up – when something good happens or when I’m excited about something – I try to act cool, calm, and un-excited when I tell them about it.

The other day I was excited about a project at work. I was telling a relative and I noticed that right way, I downplayed the whole thing. It came off like I was actually down about it. He tried to give me some encouragement. I was actually excited. I needed and wanted to celebrate with him. We both would have enjoyed it and benefited, right?

In any case, celebrating is something I believe to be a key issue in life, here’s why:

• We need to celebrate things each day, even the little things – we paid the bills, we have good health, we took some kind of action and had some kind of success, we did something good for someone else, etc.
• So many times we actually did something good, accomplished something, took action and we don’t take a moment to celebrate.
• Celebrating in the present moment allows us and helps us to focus on the now, what is going on – whether it be with our family, friends, work, or fun things.
• We can benefit greatly from celebrating future events – here’s what I mean – if you act as if what you want in life is already a reality, celebrating “IT” as already being reality brings in all kinds of good emotions, eliminates thoughts of conditions, limitations. Your brain doesn’t know that the difference between the imagination and reality of it all – so Celebration for something as if it has already happened is very powerful.

Imagine that you already have “it” or that you’ve already accomplished “it” – then celebrate! Wayne Dyer says “Highly realized people learn to think from the end- that is, they experience what they wish to intend before it shows up in the material form.” Celebrate that car, that job, that improved relationship, that newly thinner, leaner body. Enjoy it.

I practice money coming in and I get the feeling like I’m winning the lottery. I hold my arms up like Rocky on the top of the Philly steps and I jump around. I visualize and celebrate. I enjoy it.

How would you react if you won the lottery? Got a perfect job? Had that perfect car/house/relationship/health? OK, now go ahead and practice celebrating it so that when it arrives, you’ll be ready. In the meantime, you’ll feel great.

I’ll be honest, I don’t know if it will always work, but EVERYTIME I feel really great afterwards! I’m smiling, happier, energized, and guess what? I’m now looking for good things to come, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Celebrate what you’ve accomplished in your life! Too many of us don’t give ourselves enough credit. Look into the past, briefly, get those good references and celebrate them. You endured hurdles and mistakes and you are now the person you are because you kept moving. Celebrate it!

Celebrate the present – your family, friends, work, life, health – even if it isn’t perfect. Sure you can want to improve something but hell, if you didn’t have your situation now, you wouldn’t have the perspective, wisdom, and knowledge to make it better, right? Guess what, you can help yourself now, you can even help others, you have choices, that’s great, celebrate! Celebrate your health and life – would you prefer the alternative?

I know that there are some days when you don’t feel like celebrating. Use Tony Robbins’ method “What could I celebrate today? (then even if you can’t think of something ask:) If I could think of something to celebrate, what would it be?”

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” — Oprah Winfrey

Celebrate the future as if it is already happened! Celebrate the person you want to be, the thing you want to have, the issue you want to resolve, the situation that you want to improve! Enjoy it! Feel the fun!

Celebrate what you want to see more of. – Tom Peters (author of In Search of Excellence and other books)

Feeling happy/celebratory/abundant/whatever surpasses the money in your bank account, the report from the doctor, the whatever – and transcends what others may think of you. Genuinely feeling a certain way is possible when you detach yourself from the things you desire and then celebrating it.

Dream on it. Let your mind take you to places you would like to go, and then think about it and plan it and celebrate the possibilities. And don’t listen to anyone who doesn’t know how to dream.
Liza Minnelli

Don’t you think that you’re more attractive to others when you’re thinking celebrating rather than the “ho-hum” you? Wouldn’t your career be a little different if you approached it in a ‘celebrating-way’ rather that complaining, whining and doing the minimum as so many people do? (not you of course)

Celebrating sends a message to others around you, even to the Universe (if you believe in such)

“Don’t forget to CELEBRATE!!! Anchor the experience of doing something truly extraordinary with an awesome celebration.”- Tony Robbins

Celebrating brings smiles and laughter. It brings joy and happiness. Enough said.

Simple Stuff – Confidence

(simple stuff is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Confidence Confidence confidence

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.-Helen Keller
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.-Eleanor Roosevelt
Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.-Lao Tzu
Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.-Marie Curie
The man of genius inspires us with a boundless confidence in our own powers.-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence.-
Vince Lombardi
Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly knowing that I am with you, therefore no harm can befall you; all is very, very well. Do this in complete faith and confidence.-Pope John Paul II
Confidence comes from discipline and training.-Robert Kiyosaki
The circulation of confidence is better than the circulation of money.-James Madison
When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things.-
Joe Namath

 

I have confidence in you, please have confidence in yourself. – Jim Frey

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence. –Mark Twain

Bonus:
Suggested book (from a fan)

Unstoppable Confidence: How to Use the Power by Kent Sayre

http://www.onewebstrategy.com

Being rich is all about having the right habits

Being rich is all about having the right habits. That’s the message from Tom Corley, who spent five years observing how rich and poor people lived, worked, and even slept. Then, Corley wrote about his research in a book called “Rich Habits: The Daily Success Habits of Wealthy Individuals.”

Here’s what he found:

First: Be an early bird. Because among people making six-figures a year, about half wake up at least three hours before they have to be at work. Then, Corley says they use that extra morning time to focus on self-improvement like reading and exercising, because those things help them be more productive at work.
Another daily habit that can make you rich:Don’t gossip. According to Corley’s research, wealthy people are a whopping 14 times less likely to say they spread gossip, compared to people earning less than $30,000 a year.

–
Also: Spend less time using the Internet. Corley says most people who struggle with money spend at least an hour a day surfing the Web, or watching TV. But rich people are HALF as likely to go online every day. Instead, they spend that extra hour connecting with others in the “real world,” doing things like networking, socializing, and volunteering.

–
Another helpful habit: Make more “to-do” lists. Because wealthy people say they cross off 70% percent of the tasks on their to-do list every day – including short-term and long-term goals, meaning, rich people love getting stuff done.

–
Finally: According to the book, wealthy people are calorie counters. They generally limit alcoholic consumption, keep their junk food snacks to less than 300 calories per day, and weigh less. And it makes sense that successful people would weight less, 75% of executives in a recent survey said that being overweight is a “serious career impediment.” Overweight people are 3,000 times more likely to get passed over for a promotion. And fair or not, overweight applicants get turned down for jobs more than any other group.

http://www.tesh.com

Simple Stuff

(Simple stuff is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

The world is moved along, not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes, but also by the aggregate of tiny pushes of each honest worker. –Helen Keller  <!–[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]–> <!–[endif]–>

My heroes are and were my parents. I can’t see having anyone else as my heroes. –Michael Jordan  <!–[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]–> <!–[endif]–>We’re our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves. –Tony Robbins

A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer. –Ralph Waldo Emerson

A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom. –Bob Dylan

A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.-Christopher Reeve  <!–[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]–> <!–[endif]–>

Being a hero means being your real self, doing what you really want to do, going got ‘it’ whatever it is, not trying to appease others – Jim Frey

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don’t really know what’s happening down there. Who is the real hero? –Mitch Hedberg

BONUS-

CNN revealed the 2013 Top 10 CNN Heroes — now it’s time to let them know which inspire you the most. Vote for the CNN Hero of the Year at http://CNNHeroes.com/ — once a day, EVERY DAY thru 11/17.

Things that we all need to think about…

Some investors think that saving for retirement is too much of a burden
By not saving now, investors will suffer a 72% decline in standard of living in retirement
Financial pros recommend investors save at least 15% of income for retirement
USA TODAY markets reporter Matt Krantz – mkrantz@usatoday.com.

Q: What can investors do who cannot afford to save a dime for retirement?

A: Investing for retirement is a sacrifice. Investors are foregoing spending now so they’ll have money to spend in the future.

Some investors say saving for retirement is one thing they cannot afford or choose not to do it. The problem is that if investors don’t cut their current standard of living now, to invest for retirement, they’re going to be forced to cut it in the future.

The basic rule of thumb is that investors must, on average, put aside 15% of their paychecks if they want to have a fighting chance of having any money left over when they turn 95, says Stuart Ritter, financial planner at T. Rowe Price.

Just saving a small amount, say 3%, just isn’t going to cut it. Even if a 30-year-old saves 3% of income toward retirement, the chances that nest egg will last through their 95th birthday is just 1%. A person who saves nothing for retirement now will likely, on average, suffer a 72% decline in standard of living in retirement, Stuart says.

So the question isn’t whether to save now or not. It’s really a matter of deciding to give up income now, or give it up to the point of struggling later.

Survive the Unthinkable,

 

I am always on the lookout for good books.

I try not to ‘over-recommend’ either, but here is a great one….Survive the Unthinkable,

 

…here is some background…..you may know someone in a situation that this may be relevant…..

Violence against women remains one of the most common human rights abuses in the world. Women ages 15 through 44 are more likely to die or be maimed because of male violence than because of cancer, malaria, war, and traffic accidents combined.

Rape and attempted rape are very much silent assassins. Only 16 percent of rape victims actually report an incident to the police, which means that the statistics we have about rape in the United States barely reflect the grim reality. The World Health Organization has found that domestic and sexual violence affects 30 to 60 percent of women in most countries. And the majority of offenses are committed by someone the victim knows or at least recognizes.

Perhaps the most disturbing truth is that the rape perpetrator will probably victimize seven to nine women before he’s jailed.

In our increasingly violent collective, women must often yield to an incessant voice that warns: Be careful where you walk. Be careful where you park. Be careful where you go. Be careful what you wear. Be careful what you say.

The unnerving posture of gender violence is what prompted me to seek out the best self-defense instructor I could find for the women I care about in my life — who just happens to be the author of the book you’re holding in your hands right now.

Tim Larkin’s Survive the Unthinkable relays a message of empowerment, not panic. It’s the key that can unlock your personal power as a woman.

With many things in life, the truth is often nearly 180 degrees from what your imagination might suggest. The principles and methods that Tim Larkin shares in this critical book are perfect examples of this:

• Women need NOT be vulnerable to attack, and they already have the tools necessary to avoid violence or protect themselves in those rare instances where avoidance isn’t possible.

• Even the most violent sociopaths are incredibly vulnerable once you know the psychology of what drives their behavior.

• The people who are most effective at “self-defense” typically have no formal training.

Being able to protect yourself doesn’t require muscle, fancy techniques, or months of practice at the martial arts studio. All that you need to live confidently and joyfully is knowledge and the willingness to apply it.

As a woman, you have people who depend on you — perhaps your partner, children, siblings, friends. Please consider the ability to defend yourself a responsibility, not a luxury, in much the same way that you might exercise, wear your seatbelt, or get regular medical checkups.

This book presents imperative components that ensure peace of mind, which ultimately allows us to find fulfillment in our daily life. The emotional edge my friend Tim Larkin presents helps to create a better life through key adjustments to our perception, psychology, and awareness. You can trust, as I do, that Tim Larkin’s teachings are the most effective, thoroughly tested, and reliable way to ensure your safety, confidence, and self-assurance, which will in turn enable you to effectively cooperate with others, operate at optimal productivity, and get the most enjoyment out of every day of your life.

www.timlarkin.com

Approximately   1.9 million women are physically assaulted annually in the United   States alone. In his New York Times bestselling book Survive the Unthinkable, Tim Larkin empowers women to   understand that surviving a potential attack isn’t about being   physically bigger, faster, or stronger; it’s about knowing how to   self-protect, not self-defend. – See more at: http://www.timlarkin.com/book.php#more

(Foreward by Tony Robbins)