Tag Archives: planning

Design the Perfect Day

I know that I need to work on this one-and I’ve done it before and it really helped, and I enjoyed it…..

http://brendonburchard.tumblr.com/post/96277486198/how-to-design-the-perfect-day

SUMMARY

To design your ideal day, consider these questions:

What would you want to CREATE?

Who would you want to CONNECT with and spend time with?

What would you like to CONTRIBUTE?

Who would you like to be – what CHARACTER would you show to the world?

Full Transcript:

What would be your perfect day, your ideal day, a day that you went to bed that night and you thought that was the most incredible day? That’s how I want most of the days of my life to be, just like that.

What would that perfect day be like for you?

I’ve asked this to tens of thousands of people around the globe as I travel and do my speeches. I get invited to speak at all these conferences and most people don’t know and that’s amazing. I ask the audience this: how many of you have had a perfect day, one that was so amazing you’re like I was so happy and fulfilled and grateful for that day? How many of you have had one of those perfect days this week?

Usually out of an audience about half the room will raise their hands, so 50% had a perfect day that week. [Keep in mind these are audiences in the personal growth industry. Still, you would be surprised that most people are generally happy and having good weeks. While many people think that most people are miserable, they are incorrect].

Then I say how many of you have had at least two of those this month? People really have to think about it. They don’t know if they’ve had that many good days. They think about it and they’re like no, and it goes down to 30%.

What I end up finding is that most people feel like they had 10, 15 or 20 perfect days in the course of a year. Think about that. There are 365 days in a year and they say they have maybe 10, 15 or 20 perfect days a year.

Of course we have to talk and qualify about this idea of a “perfect” day because maybe people just set too high of expectations for themselves.

Then I ask, “Do you think you have too high of an expectation for that perfect day? For that perfect day that you had… is that something you can’t have ever again?” They’re like no, of course not. Then I say, “So the day is achievable?” And they say yes. Then I ask, “Why don’t you have more of them?” Two reasons it turns out.

It seems that some people just have never clarified what an ideal day would be for themselves.

What would it really be like?

Most importantly, what would it feel like?

What would an ideal day feel like for you?

Have you ever journaled about that?

Is there a vision board somewhere that would describe what that day would be like for you?

Do you have it written down in a journal or a dream sheet that says this would be the ideal day for me; knowing, that maybe that day is so amazing and perfect?

Some people would say, “It would be my wedding day” … They said a singular day.

But I’m talking about more of a lifestyle, not just a day but a life. What would it be like?

What would it feel like for you?

I think there are some common things you can start to think about in designing your [ideal days]. Again, most of the problem is that people don’t have vision for it. It’s Biblical: where there is no vision people perish.

The number one rule I have is to have vision for your life. Know where it is you’re going and what you want to feel, sense, experience, give and contribute or be about.

Let’s talk about some of these things so you can start crafting your ideal day.

The first thing you might want to take into consideration is something I spoke about earlier which is, how does it feel? What does that [ideal] day feel like?

I want you think not about it in terms of what you’re doing, because a lot of people start with the do. Here are the things I have to be doing. I want you to think about what it would feel like for you if you ended that day, laid your bed on the pillow, how would you describe how you felt that day? If you’re clear about the feeling than maybe we can start matching some activities that would generate or help us feel those particular feelings or experience those types of emotions.

What did it feel like? Let’s start moving into a little framework to help you think through this. Usually when you talk about someone’s ideal day there are several things they want to experience in there.

First, they want to create something.

They want to feel like they’ve created or contributed to something. They’ve created an experience with some friends or family. They’ve contributed something specifically to folks that are trying to help out or lead or serve in some way.

What would you like to create or contribute on your ideal day? What would it be? What would that ideal day be about?

Others also say they want to connect.

Their ideal day would let them be with their wife the whole day. Or, they say they want to be with the kids out on the lake fishing or something. So they might have this idea in their mind about that feeling and connection through a relationship with someone that makes them feel alive and fulfilled for that day.

What types of things would you like to create, contribute, but also who would you like to connect with?

Let me pause here and say this… could you create that day? Is this a day you could actually have more than one of a year, two of a year or five of a year?

Most people who have an ideal day, but I think they’re off track in life sometimes because they have a definition of an ideal day in their life and yet they don’t seek to actualize that day. They don’t seem to design their days around that.

Some people say that’s not realistic: People can’t have these ideal lives. You know who says that? Bitter people. Those who have given up on the path of their dreams. People who are so frustrated, jaded and so torn from their belief or from themselves or their dreams that they don’t believe it anymore.

However, I can tell you now having accomplished my dreams it’s possible. I wanted to be a writer and a trainer and get to do this with you full time and now I do that. It’s what I get to do and it’s a fulfillment of my dreams. I can tell you, I’ve met more and more people who are living lives that they’re satisfied with, so engaged and connected with. They wake up with a high degree of enthusiasm for their day and can’t wait to experience that day. At night they’re so grateful for it that they journal about all of their gratitude.

It’s not to be Pollyannaish and say you won’t have some bad days come up, but it’s saying that you can design your days. You can make your life about what you want it to be about.

What do you want [your life] to be about?

What should the majority of your days be about for you, in terms of creating, contributing and connecting?

What should they also be about for you, your character?

Who’s going to show up on your ideal day?

What would you be like on your ideal day?

Would you be weak and fearful or courageous and strong?

Would you be judgmental, mean and upset, full of hatred, jealousy, anger and regret about life and other people?

Or would you be somebody who’s open, excited for others and connecting with other people, positive and enthusiastic?

What would you be like on your ideal day?

Have you ever written that down… Here’s who I would be on my ideal day. Here’s how I’d treat my wife, my partner or my spouse, my lover or the kids. Here’s how I’d treat strangers. Here’s how I’d treat other people.

The idea is, don’t wait until the end of your life to have that ideal day. Don’t wait until next year or next week to have that type of day.

We can choose to wake up every single day and live that day in an idealistic way for ourselves, in a way in which we show up as who we want to be, in a way in which we are doing things that enliven us and engage us and get us excited, in a way that we’re doing things and being with people, creating experiences that feel alive and fulfilling.

We can have that type of life. I call it The Charged Life. Everybody can have it: it’s a matter of discipline in getting it.

Here’s a simple trick and tool to make sure you get more of those ideal days: When you start your day you must own your morning.

If you thought about your ideal day I bet you didn’t say, “Well, I roll out of bed, grab my iPhone and check my email.” That’s not an ideal day.

You have to own that morning to make sure that you’re proactive with that day, to say:

“What is it that I want to be about this day? What are the things I want to achieve create and experience this day? What kind of character do I want to cultivate? What do I want to learn today, give today, and grow today?”

You have to have aim and intention to have a phenomenal day.

It’s not that you can’t go with the flow, the bumps and the bruises and the struggles and hardships of life, but when you’re experiencing those you can still experience them from a place of presence, peace and enthusiasm.

Even the ultimate challenges in my life: having lost friends, lost my father to leukemia,  my own multiple brain injuries, car accidents, ATV accidents, broken enough bones in my body. And it’s a sad story really, but every hardship I’ve ever faced, including leaving [a job] and starting my own business and moving to new cities… Every major obstacle or challenge in my life I always chose to meet that as my ideal self.

I’d always say, “How would my highest self interact with this situation?”

Maybe that sounds Pollyannaish to some people and I know on YouTube I’ll get plenty of hate for it, but a lot of people need to get more intentional about their day, to create the ideal lives, not to have an ideal day once a millennium but to have a string of ideal days.

Even if you’re dealing with struggle and hardship in the world’s curveballs, you’re showing up in a way that when you go to bed at night you’re proud of the way you interacted with the struggle, challenge or demand on you. You’re proud of who you demonstrated yourself to be to the world, that you’re living the ideal character and person you believe yourself to be on a continual basis. And then life starts to feel ideal again.

Give yourself that gift. Do this journey. Take this time today. Sit down, pause the video or watch it again if you have to.

What is the ideal day like for you?

What would that dream day be like for you?

Who’s there?

What are you doing?

What are you contributing?

What might you be learning, giving or being part of?

Think about that. Who are you specifically during that day?

With that intention and aim you start to experience more and more of those days and as more and more of those days start to gather for us the more your character develops force and momentum. The world sees what you’re about and draws more opportunities to you to serve it up to that type of person who wants those types of things. And suddenly you wake up one day, you look around and you have this sense of aliveness and joy in the day. Then, when you look back at the week you’re like, “That was an amazing week, an amazing month, an amazing year, an amazing decade… that was an amazing life and you deserve that.

That is The Charged Life. http://brendonburchard.tumblr.com/post/96277486198/how-to-design-the-perfect-day 

Interview Those You Love (Before They’re Gone)

Several years ago I lost both parents within 5 weeks of each other.

Among other things, I had a bunch of things I always wanted to ask them Things like, where were they when the landed on the moon? When Kennedy was shot? How did you overcome your business challenges? What did you fear most as a parent? How did you overcome your heartattack and get back into the workforce? What would you do differently as a parent?

….and many many more things. I wanted to ask them about their school experience more, other relatives, family details, etc.

Then recently I came upon this, and I wanted to share, I think it is something we never thinks about but we should.….

http://brendonburchard.tumblr.com/post/98560312858/interview-your-loved-ones-before-theyre-gone

From Brendon Burchard….

Full Transcript:

How do you honor people?

If you have loved ones who you’ve lost or you have people in your life right now who you just admire greatly, who are helping you out, who are influencing you in positive ways, how do you honor people?

In our society, especially in the Western culture it’s so much about giving them gifts, pay increases or sending them stuff.

But I actually want to talk about a different way that you can honor people that a lot of people from our audience who know this story always find meaningful. I think it would be so phenomenal an experience for your family members and for you in the future.

Maybe you know the story and maybe you don’t, but in 2009 on Mother’s Day, my dad was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia. He’d been a pretty healthy guy, played racquetball and went bowling all the time, played golf and he was happy and healthy. But he woke up on Mother’s Day and he was walking down the hall of the house and my mom saw him drifting a little bit and said, ”What’s wrong with you?” He said, “I’m out of balance and it hurts here on my side.”

They went to the doctor and the doctor said that’s weird your spleen seems to be enlarged and they did a bunch of tests and found out he had acute myeloid leukemia.

It’s the kind of leukemia you definitely don’t want. You don’t want either, but that one is the one that tends to take people’s lives quickly. Dad went through a couple rounds of chemo and unfortunately they weren’t helping. They wanted to put him on a course of the third treatment but it was clear it wasn’t going to work, that would decimate his body, and he made the choice to go home and be at our house with Hospice care until the disease took him.

So, from diagnosis to death we had 59 days with dad and that was it.

I feel very lucky for those times. I had an amazing relationship with my dad as did my family. I love him so much and it was something that’s taken this many years to shoot a video about, because I used to not be able to control any of my emotions and I didn’t speak about it that much on stages for a long time, because it was such a huge emotional toll.

One thing I was happy about that I was able to do during that time is when we knew it was bad and that we might lose him, I happened to be away traveling… I was teaching a seminar to a few hundred people and he called to let me know the second course of chemo hadn’t worked and they didn’t know how long he would have. They were constantly saying, “You have a week left, a week, ten days, three days.” It just took his body so fast because what happens is the stem cells aren’t creating the white cells correctly and the white cells start hampering the body’s ability to function. They’re mutated with leukemia and it takes over your entire body just that fast.

I didn’t know if I would get to see him again or if I could get out there fast enough, so I asked him, “Dad, can I call you and interview you? I want to ask you some questions and record it.” He was in the hospital and just recovering having gone through the chemo and he said sure. I just didn’t know if I would get there fast enough. I called him back and used a free conference calling line, which you can Google and find that allows you to record. I called him and recorded it.

I asked him 30 questions or so about life and I’ve posted the link to those questions [click here to get the interview guide] and I’ve formatted it in a way where you could ask anyone in your life these questions. It’s just about getting to hear them talk about what’s important in their life.

  • What did they learn when they were young in adolescence?
  • How did their mother or father influence them?
  • What did they learn from their parents?
  • What did their grandparents want them to carry on?
  • What do they want you to know after they’re gone?
  • What do they want your brothers or sisters to know after they’re gone?
  • What values do they want to teach?
  • What do they want you to remember when the times are dark?

Just advice from this person that you love.

It was my dad, and he gave unbelievable advice. I would say from everything I own in my life now, this is the most treasured thing I have is this recording of Dad, just him talking about life.

It took me a long time to be able to listen to. If I listen to it, I completely get emotional about it, but at the same time I find it empowering and inspiring and it connects me back to him. It’s meaningful to me, too, because while you’re watching me on video now or listening to me in whatever format, in growing up, my dad, his generation just didn’t have any video. I don’t have that much existing video of my father at all outside a wedding, so this is one of the few remaining recordings I have of him.

It was a two-three hour conversation that really inspired me. One of the things he said in there is the reason I’m shooting this video. I asked him what he wanted his kids to always remember and we were talking a lot about it and he just said a few things, these seven things he was always telling us in some way or another throughout our lives and he was demonstrating. He’d say them, but he kind of strung them together in this thought and I keep returning to it over and over again. His seven legacy statements for us were:

  • Be yourself
  • Be honest
  • Do your best
  • Take care of your family
  • Treat people with respect
  • Be a good citizen
  • Follow your dreams

Those seven things, which were really his values and who he was in so many ways, and he said a lot of amazing things during the interview, but those things I carry with me and I’ve perpetuated over and over. I’d tell his message to all of my audiences. I’ve shared that on a quote card on my Facebook pagebefore and it literally got 40k likes in a week. I don’t know how many times it’s been shared now, but literally hundreds of thousands of times been seen by millions of people and it stunned me.

It reminded me that one of the best ways that we can honor somebody is to carry forth their values but not just to communicate them, not to just live them or have them, but to share with other people.

Maybe you had a grandparent who inspired you and you should tell people about that grandparent and what they told you about life and how to live a good life.

I think there isn’t a lot of conversation, amazingly, in our culture broadly and at an individual level about what it takes to live a good life.

People don’t talk about that as much anymore. Personal growth in terms of an industry seems to be declining, because now people can just get something for any time and everything is so immediate, less people reading books and that genre, less people engaging it seems like.

I’m blessed to have so much of a wave in this area of personal development with this YouTube show being so successful and my Facebook thing taking off and email list exploding over the past couple years. I can share with you that what makes those things meaningful is trying to share meaningful advice with people, meaningful insights and I think you can do that.

I think there have been people who have inspired you and the more you tell their story and tell people explicitly and directly, this is what they taught me the more we carry forth the legacy of those before us for future generations, the more we become standard bearers of what a good life is because if no one’s talking about it and if no one is communicating values as much anymore, we start to lose that.

And I think what’s happened is generation after generation has failed to hold the line of high standards in humanity.

We’re getting more and more lackadaisical with “anything is okay” and celebrating idiots on television, angry people or the smart bitter comment that jabs at somebody versus talking about what it takes to be a good person.

What does it take to live the ideal life? Obviously I’ve dedicated my life to that. This whole thing is about living your charged life. What would that feel like?One of the things to live a fully charged life is to honor the people in your life. I encourage you to interview them and completely steal my interview form and call someone you love and interview them. I think you’ll be surprised at some of the things you’ll learn and some of the tidbits they’ll give you, you can remind yourself. I carry them around in my wallet. I think about these things because they give a guidepost of behavior everyday to live up to, to live into your highest self; to live into those ideals and values.

There are lots of ways to honor someone. If they’re still with you, sometimes it can be as simple as calling them, taking them out to lunch, sitting them down, looking them directly in the eye and saying,

“I just wanted to spend a few minutes with you sharing how you’ve impacted my life. I just want to spend a few minutes with you telling you why you made such a difference for me. I want to share with you the values and maybe you never told me but I just see them in you, there’s something… Your strength and positivity or, your hope or your belief in me. You might not know it but it carried me through days that I didn’t think I could make it through. What you have told me I’m going to carry forth. What you help me do I’m going to help more people do.”

It’s in that perpetuation of goodness that we hold the line of the best that is in humanity, and I encourage you to do that.

It can be as simple as writing a letter to someone and professing to them, this is why I love you, care for you and admire you.

It can be as simple as shooting a video and sending it to them saying, “Hey, I just wanted you to know the impact that you’re making and I’m going to carry it forward.”

The number one way to honor someone is to carry their voice and values forward everyday through your behavior and explicitly through stories and advice and guidance of other people.

I think that’s the ultimate way to honor people, more than the fanfare of a fancy gift or if you have a great employee and giving them a raise, but to really celebrate somebody’s words and their noble character and what they have to share with other people, that is a magical way to make a difference, to perpetuate the goodness in humanity and to celebrate and honor someone who’s made a difference in your life.

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Like this episode? Please share it with others. Let’s inspire others to live a fully charged life. The interview guide referenced in this video can be downloaded free here.

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