Neither a promotion, losing weight, finding a soul mate, writing a book, nor becoming a billionaire, will ensure happiness.
Nothing ensures happiness. No destination is great enough. No dream come true will do.
Because happiness that’s not present at the start of a journey will not be present at its end. – Mike Dooley – tut.com
Tag Archives: mike dooley
Neither a promotion, losing weight, finding a soul mate, writing a book, nor becoming a billionaire, will ensure happiness.
(SIMPLE STUFF is a short bit of ideas, quotes, phrases, and ‘stuff’ to help you stay focused, stay loose, ask better questions, and laugh a bit.)
Deepak Chopra joins Rainn Wilson in his van to talk about life’s big questions including happiness, creativity, and dark matters. Plus: How do you define happiness? Leave us a comment below!
“People who fail focus on what they will have to go through; people who succeed focus on what it will feel like at the end.”
― Anthony Robbins
The simplest thing to do is tell a story, from the end, as if you’ve already done it. How do you feel? How did you think/act/behave, etc.
Also, I just finished reading the book “The Power of Habit” – which I recommend. Anyhow one study sighted in the book describes that people did better in many situations in sports/work/life when they not only visualized, set goals and asked questions before a situation but also asked themselves how they would react if different scenarios came up.
Example: “What would I do during the presentation if the power went off? What would I say if someone brings a politically charged subject up? How will I regroup if I get off the subject? How will I re-direct if an attendee gets us off track?” – Etc.
How should you visualize?
Write a story! Once upon a time I was about to compete in a big competition before the event I felt like….. just before I felt like……. During the competition I felt like……. After the event I felt like………. .Write a script like you’re writing a bestselling movie starring you!
The whole idea behind this technique is to imagine all the possible scenarios, positive and negative, and all the possible feelings, positive and negative, associated with them.
I would suggest that any of the counterproductive feelings of stress and anxiety stem from the ‘great unknown’. If our mind has already experienced the stressful scenario in the comfort of our home, using mental imagery, then it is more likely that we will manage to manage the scenario when it happens for real.
Misunderstanding the how and why visualization works often results in failure. It is easy to become disillusioned about the power of visualization when, no matter how often or hard we concentrate on visualizing the outcome we desire it just doesn’t happen.
Many Americans first became aware of “visualization” as a technique when the Russians used the technique as central to training Olympic athletes – with great success. Since that time, the idea of visualization as a tool to live a better life has become practically a mainstream assumption within American culture.
Visualize what we need/want and it will come.
A common complaint of people wishing to employ creative visualization is that they can’t “see” – or create a clear enough picture. They close their eyes and maybe all they see are colors, or even just a “blank screen.” They are having trouble visualizing. This is where detail comes into play. So far we’ve been concentrating on visualizing (“seeing”) as it relates to improving athletic performance; however, creative visualization is just as powerful technique for achieving anygoal or desire. For example, you have decided to pursue finding another job.
You’ve set a scheduled time to visualize (say right before getting out of bed in the morning and right before going to sleep at night – both great times to visualize.) You close your eyes and start thinking that you want to get a picture of your new job – and get nothing. The more you strain to “see”, the blanker your mental screen gets. Now is a great time to remember that you have five senses – not just one.
If you can’t see your new job – can you hear it? Imagine a conversation you may have with a colleague or superior. A very detailed conversation where you are expressing yourself to others with extreme confidence and competence. Your listener, in turn, responds as you would wish them to in the most optimal circumstances you can imagine.
Can you smell your new job? Perhaps your desk is near the coffee maker. Now the conversation you have imagined has smell attached to it. Can you touch your new job? Maybe you can feel yourself standing by your desk with a cup of coffee in your hand having that successful conversation with your colleagues.
Now that you can hear and touch your visualization, you try to imagine you can see yourself at your new job, but – darn – all you can see is the color red. Ask yourself, what is red about my new job? And you realize that it is the tie or sweater a colleague you are speaking with is wearing. Before you know it you can see, hear, and touch your new job – exactly as you desire it to be.
Creative visualization must be practiced consistently
“For changes to be of any true value, they’ve got to be lasting and consistent.”
― Anthony Robbins
“What if my beliefs don’t fully support what I want or what I visualize”
In other words, even though we visualize, do beliefs sometimes overcome visualization? Visualization techniques can change a negative self fulfilling prophesy into a positive self fulfilling prophesy. For instance, frequently, consistently, and in a detailed manner visualizing one’s self actually taking the test successfully is very powerful. For one, the level of self confidence is improved. Those who feel confident are not focused on perfection, they are focused on realizing their full potential.
WHY– I think it is crucial, in addition to adding emotion to visualization, that you add the Why. Why do you want the end result? Describe why you really want it. If powerful enough, one or two sentences is OK.
HOW – It is my opinion that when you visualize an end result, don’t focus much on the “How’s”. In other words, if you want to be happy in a situation, for instance, don’t focus on how you’re going to ‘get’ happy. If you want money, don’t get too tied up in “how” the money will come. This lets your creative mind work out solutions that you can’t think of – and take advantage of opportunities that you can’t see now. Be open to the goal, think about the WHY, and anchor good emotions. Forget how it will come about.
I read an example of a visualization exercise in Mike Dooley’s books. They helped me. In one example he is sitting on a veranda at a beach house. He talks about how he feels, the changes, and it paints a great, simple picture. There are no details how he got there. It could be the lottery, maybe he wrote a book, maybe he did ten things to get there. It doesn’t matter. He set the stage for happiness, abundance, loved ones, etc. etc.
You can read about these good examples at http://wp.me/p2mGFu-h
You can watch on YOUTUBE at http://youtu.be/FTAdjr1n7m4
Creative visualization (C.V.) is used to create change in your life. Anything you desire to achieve has to exist in your mind first, whether the end result is physical or mental. Creative visualization means picturing your desired end result. You ‘see’ it, and feel it in your whole body before you take action on it. Creative visualization begins to change the way you perceive a goal, taking it from the realm of dreams and wishful thinking, to reality. The more you visualize, the more your actions will reflect that mental image.
Creative visualization can be used to acquire a new skill. Athletes use it all the time: a skater may know how to perform a certain jump as a double revolution: using creative visualization, the skater can take that skill and expand on it to mentally learn how to do a triple version of that same jump – before ever going out on the ice.
It can be used to embed a new belief system in your subconscious. For example, if you want to improve your financial situation, you have to be able to visualize yourself receiving large sums of money – and not have any internal resistance to that visualization. This takes time, and mental reprogramming to release feelings such as “I’m not worthy” and “money is hard to come by.” Unless these limiting beliefs are reprogrammed, you will unconsciously keep taking actions that make sure you will not be financially abundant.
Also – a good quote relevant here:
“Whatever your goal may be, if you create in your mind a clear image of the result you want and represent it to yourself as if you’ve already achieved it, then you will go into the kind of states that will support you in creating the results you desire…. you’re not just a leaf in the wind. You can control your beliefs. You can control the way you model others. You can consciously direct your life. You can change.”
— Unlimited Power, Tony Robbins page 62
More in Part 3- soon to come!
For a long time I wanted to visualize more often and struggled with it. I was always concerned I wasn’t doing it right and probably even held off because I thought I would ‘do it wrong’. Then I read one simple passage about it in a book and realized that any visualization is helpful. So I now try to do it often in different ways.
First of all, let’s all realize and agree about an example of ‘bad’ visualization: Worry. When you worry, you typically picture – or visualize – something going wrong, right? Well, guess what, you’re reinforcing that image in your mind. You are physically creating the chemical and biological connections that could make that negative thing more likely. I read once that “worrying in like praying for bad things to happen”. I think that society has taught us – especially my mother’s generation and many mothers in our country – that if you don’t worry, you don’t care. I know so many women that feel that worrying is a necessity if you have a family. Some feel that if you don’t worry, you aren’t as good of a mother. I say all that is wrong.
Visualizing is a form of praying, I believe. When we pray for someone that is sick or in need of help in some way, we want them to get better or find themselves in a better situation. We often pray for help and guidance in our own lives.
Visualization is very important. Regardless if you believe in the Law of Attraction, the Secret, or anything spiritual, there is so much scientific support for it. I think that schools should teach it. If you talk with any coach or athlete at a good college program, in the Olympics, or a professional athlete, they all use visualization. Arnold Palmer, Michael Jordan, entire teams of players. Olympic Swimmer Michael Phelps was taught by his coach to “play the tape” each night and morning. That meant to play the mental tape, like a video, of him swimming and winning.
- Michael Jordan: used visualization to become arguably the greatest basketball player in history.
- Jack Nicklaus has won a record 18 professional majors and is considered the best golfer in history. He has described how he used visualization extensively to help him prepare and win at golf.
- Tiger Woods was taught how to use visualization and imagery when he was a boy by his father, Earl. Tiger visualizes exactly where he wants the golf ball to go. Tiger Woods uses visualization to become one of the best, if not the best, golfer in the world today.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger, five time Mr. Universe, four-time Mr. Olympia has not only used visualization for athletic success but also credits it for his success as a movie star:”When I was very young I visualized myself being and having what it was I wanted. Mentally I never had any doubts about it.”
- Jim Carrey When Carrey was just starting out in Hollywood, he was completely broke and out of work. He decided to write himself a check for ten million dollars and dated it for Thanksgiving 1995. On the bottom he wrote “for services rendered”. He would then carry the check around in his wallet and look at it everyday. Six months before Thanksgiving of 1995, he was paid ten million dollars for his work on a film. It wasn’t long before he became of the highest paid actors in Hollywood -earning twenty million per movie
So many great business people use imagery and visualization. They use it for business meetings, presentations, specific events and also for the big picture strategies.
Many people believe that we can attract things with our thoughts. You may believe that we are connected to God, the Universe, to the Source. Many people believe that thought is energy, especially a concentrated thought laden with emotional energy. Perhaps thoughts change the balance of energy around us, and bring changes to the environment in accordance with them.Visualization initiates or triggers the Law of Attraction, many say.
Others provide a different explanation why visualization brings results. It may come as a surprise to most, but the theory of “Maya” – Illusion, which comes from the eastern philosophies, provides the explanation. According to the Indian philosophy “Advaita- Vedanta”, which is called “Nonduality” in the West, the world is not real, but only an illusion, created by our thoughts.
Since most people think and repeat the same or similar thoughts often, focusing their mind and thoughts on their current environment, they create and recreate the same sort of events or circumstances. This process preserves the same “world” and status quo. It is like watching the same film over and over again, but we can change the film by changing our thoughts and visualize different circumstances and life, and in this way create a different “reality”. For us, it is a reality, though in fact it is just a dream we call “reality”.
According to vanderbuilt.edu, visualization, also called mental imagery is defined as
experience that resembles perceptual experience, but which occurs in the absence of the appropriate stimuli for the relevant perception (plato.stanford.edu/entries/mental-imagery/). Whenever we imagine ourselves performing an action in the absence of physical practice, we are said to be using imagery. While most discussions of imagery focus on the visual mode, there exists other modes of experience such as auditory and kinesthetic that are just as important.
One important thing I found in this study and others is that “There is no correct way to practice mental imagery.”
From Psychology Today’s FLOURISH by by Angie LeVan http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/flourish/200912/seeing-is-believing-the-power-visualization
A study looking at brain patterns in weightlifters found that the patterns activated when a weightlifter lifted hundreds of pounds were similarly activated when they only imagined lifting. In some cases, research has revealed that mental practices are almost effective as true physical practice, and that doing both is more effective than either alone. For instance, in his study on everyday people, Guang Yue, an exercise psychologist from Cleveland Clinic Foundation in Ohio, compared “people who went to the gym with people who carried out virtual workouts in their heads”. He found that a 30% muscle increase in the group who went to the gym. However, the group of participants who conducted mental exercises of the weight training increased muscle strength by almost half as much (13.5%). This average remained for 3 months following the mental training.
Begin by establishing a highly specific goal. Imagine the future; you have already achieved your goal. Hold a metal ‘picture’ of it as if it were occurring to you right at that moment. Imagine the scene in as much detail as possible. Engage as many of the five senses as you can in your visualization. Who are you with? Which emotions are you feeling right now? What are you wearing? Is there a smell in the air? What do you hear? What is your environment? Sit with a straight spine when you do this. Practice at night or in the morning (just before/after sleep). Eliminate any doubts, if they come to you. Repeat this practice often. Combine with meditation or an affirmation (e.g. “I am courageous; I am strong”, or to borrow from Ali, “I am the greatest!”).
Scientifically, there is ample evidence that visualization can significantly enhance physical skill development and increase performance in many sports. There is even evidence that visualization of weight training can lead to significant gains in muscle mass and strength!
Neurologically, visualization invokes many of the same areas of the brain involved in the actual physical manifestation of the skill. Because of this, there are tremendous neural connections that are strengthened during visualization that are transferable to the physical domain.
Visualization helps with motivation and inspiration. Put simply, when you imagine something you then remind yourself of how good it will feel to achieve your dreams, and you become more so motivated to strive for them. This motivation allows you to take the steps needed to fulfill your dreams – and feel like fun along the way.
Visualization burns the mental picture, images, feelings and emotions into your subconscious mind – a very powerful tool. Once your subconscious mind latches onto an idea, it begins to work without you. It creates the belief. Your subconscious can effortlessly lead you to your goals, if it has a belief. Beliefs rule our lives. One day we couldn’t do something, the next day we could. One day we believed that we could not, the next day we believed that we could. Visualization helps us believe sooner, and helps us believe when we probably would never do so.
Here is a reminder from Focus – The Path to Perfect Execution
“The Power of Visualization will only work when your inner self is totally confident that you can faultlessly deliver what you have learned. The only way to make this possible is when you physically repeat the action over and over again – be it presenting to a customer, writing a document, driving a golf ball down the fairway or executing a slick cross court volley. Practicing over and over will also convince your inner being that you can do it. It gives the power to the mind to play the video of perfect execution picking up pieces from the hard work it saw you do while you were building and rehearsing the skill.”
“When done with sincerity, the human nervous and muscular systems prepare themselves by firing precisely in a similar manner to what they do when the ‘physical action’ actually happens. Medical tests were conducted on Olympic athletes where they were asked to run races in their minds by visualizing themselves doing so. While they sat absolutely stationary, it was incredible that the same nerve cells and muscular tissues fired up that would have if they were actually running the race!”
- Keep is simple at first then graduate to more complex imagery.
- Make your images very clear, elaborate, and kinesthetically true
- Prep your mental work out with real external images through videos
- Follow it up with your own real physical practice
- Visualize as often as you can to reinforce your new brain connections
- Go the distance! Visualize yourself doing what’s just out of your physical reach and then watch it manifest on the field – mentally and physically!
- The most important, in my opinion, attach and use emotions when you visualize! The more positive, strong emotions you have attached to an image or mental picture the better! This is a must!
You can see that there is a lot of info on visualization. Therefore I will follow it up with a part 2 soon. Above I’m leaving you with some quick thoughts on how to visualize. Just do it. Spend 5 minutes twice a day. If you can, write it down and them imagine it. If not, just take a moment, get in the right state of mind and visualize.
More to come soon. If you like this, please hit “LIKE” ?
A quote from Mike Dooley/www.tut.com
For all things and non-things that you may ever want, understand that sometimes the fastest way to get them is to forget them, and to focus instead on just being the most amazing human being you can be. At which point all of your heart’s desires, spoken or unspoken, will be drawn to you more powerfully than a magnet is drawn to steel.
Have an amazing day,
One way or another, Forgiveness is sometimes one of the toughest things for any of us to practice. Sure, maybe we can forgive someone about most things but we all have one or two areas that really hurt us or tick us off that we hold a grudge.
Often people think forgiveness is only for that person who we forgive. In reality, forgiveness is just as much, if not more, for us, ourselves.
We’ve all been hurt in some way, right? Maybe something minor like a comment, maybe something major like infidelity or crime. We all get angry, bitter, resentful, and can feel victimized.
Here’s the important part- if you don’t practice forgiveness, you will be the one who suffers most.
An example: I had a relative that was mad at me for 20 years about something. She held this grudge and limited communications with me and others around me. She told me that she thought about it almost everyday for those 20 years.Guess what, her understanding of the situation was wrong – and – I didn’t know for 20 years. So in other words, she was angry/hurt/sad for 20 years about something that really didn’t happen and the people that she blamed, me and a few others, had no idea for 20 years. Who suffered? Who lost sleep and wellness?
I’ve done this with different situations through my life. Either I didn’t have a clear understanding of something, blamed someone in error, and/or that person had no idea or care about my thoughts and opinions. I was the one who paid.
If we don’t forgive others, we might pay the price over and over by bringing anger and bitterness into our relationships and experiences. Life could become so wrapped up in the wrong that we might ‘miss’ or not be able to enjoy the present. We could become depressed or anxious. It is possible that our lives might lack meaning or purpose. And if we’re religious or spiritual, not forgiving will be at odds with our spiritual beliefs. Not forgiving can also lead to losing valuable and enriching connectedness with others.
According to the Mayo Clinic, Forgiveness, forgiving someone will make you healthier and provide many benefits to you personally…..
- Healthier relationships
- Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
- Less anxiety, stress and hostility
- Lower blood pressure
- Fewer symptoms of depression
- Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse
Whether you are a Christian or not, we can learn from the Beatitudes “Blessed are the merciful,for they will be shown mercy.” The Golden Rule is similar – if we forgive others, they will forgive us. If we are capable of forgiving someone, then we are more capable of being forgiven.
How can you work to forgiveness? Again, the Mayo Clinic has good suggestions:
- Consider the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at a given time
- Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you’ve reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being
- When you’re ready, actively choose to forgive the person who’s offended you
- Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life
Dr. Wayne Dyer, author, has these things to say about Forgiveness:
“Forgiveness is the most powerful thing that you can do for your physiology and your spirituality, and it remains one of the least attractive things to us, largely because our egos rule so unequivocally. To forgive is somehow associated with saying that it is all right, that we accept the evil deed. But this is not forgiveness.
Forgiveness means that you fill yourself with love and you radiate that love outward and refuse to hang onto the venom or hatred that was engendered by the behaviors that caused the wounds. Forgiveness is a spiritual act of love for yourself and it sends a message to everyone, including yourself, that you are an object of love and that that is what you are going to impart.”
Wayne Dyer also said “Forgiveness is really an act of letting go, releasing the anger, the hatred, the bitterness, the thoughts of revenge that we have been carrying around. We can do this letting go without even encountering the person we want to forgive.” and “Taking all the anger and hatred that is standing in your way and replacing it with love is the most healing thing you can do. Fill your soul with love, rather than anger and so many things will change in your life. None of us needs revenge, but we all need love.” (http://www.drwaynedyer.com/blog/why-we-forgive 8/13/10)
For me, I had to forgive people in business. When I was in my 20’s, I took over a family business. Clients and Vendors did things that I interpreted in a way (especially since I had a bigger ego then) that were offensive and I got angry and bitter. I complained, pondered on it, and I know that I pushed away opportunities, people and wellness. I wasted a lot of time long after the fact thinking about these things and it made no difference to them and only made my world worse. I remember the moment I realized that I was hurting myself I felt foolish. I looked back at all the people I complained to and felt immature. I feel like I instantly matured that day and I work hard at not blaming, holding a grudge, fuming over things. I still stray there but I can tell you that forgiving and letting go of the bad stuff really helped me in many ways.
Guess what, we must also Forgive Ourselves!
Here is a great article about Forgiveness
I’d like to leave you with a short, parting thought on Forgiveness from author Mike Dooley and his website tut.com
“The best way to forgive is not to blame.
Lovin’ you, The Universe ”