Tag Archives: life stories

Frey Freyday-Stories

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

The story of life is quicker than the blink of an eye, the story of love is hello, goodbye.-Jimi Hendrix

Technology can be our best friend, and technology can also be the biggest party pooper of our lives. It interrupts our own story, interrupts our ability to have a thought or a daydream, to imagine something wonderful, because we’re too busy bridging the walk from the cafeteria back to the office on the cell phone.-Steven Spielberg

The story of the human race is the story of men and women selling themselves short.-Abraham Maslow

You write your life story by the choices you make. You never know if they have been a mistake. Those moments of decision are so difficult.-Helen Mirren

You don’t just have a story – you’re a story in the making, and you never know what the next chapter’s going to be. That’s what makes it exciting.-Dan Millman

WORD TO LIVE BY:

STORY – [stawr-ee, stohr-ee]

  1. Story – everybody loves a story. Use storytelling when you can in education, business, whatever. Instead of just spouting facts or info, tell them a story. We understand, visualize and relate better with stories.
  2. We are defined by the stories that we tell ourselves. That story may limit you. The story may give you an excuse or be an excuse. Everyone has a story or a set of stories that define who he or she is. The question is: Is your story empowering you to maximize what life has given you, or is your story causing you to fall short? …….Your history isn’t your destiny—your decisions are. You see, it’s never the environment; it’s never the events of our lives, but the meaning we attach to the events – how we interpret them – that shapes who we are today and who we’ll become tomorrow. It is the new story that we follow that counts. All of us have the awesome ability to take any experience of our lives and create a story that disempowers us or one that can literally save our lives. What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs and the story about who we are. + What is a goal that you have always wanted to achieve and haven’t? Why haven’t you? Whatever your reason, there’s always a limiting belief, a limiting story. The first step in replacing old, disempowering Stories with new, empowering stories and beliefs.

 

An old story might be something like:

“You’re too young.” “You’re too old.” “You’re uneducated.” “You’re over-educated.” “You don’t have enough experience.” “You don’t have the right experience.”—This could be literally anything. Listen carefully and write it down word-for-word.

Evaluate whether this story is empowering. Is it enabling you to accomplish the outcomes you want or is it preventing you from doing so? Be honest. (Sometimes, people are addicted to their problems and the stories that create them.)

Write down a different story. I’m not talking about a bunch of positive thinking mumbo jumbo. I am talking about telling yourself the truth. And often, this is simply a matter of shifting your perspective.

-Start telling yourself the new story. Every time your inner narrator begins telling the old yarn, stop him. Say, “No! That’s baloney. Here’s the truth.” Then repeat your new story.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB).

Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also

a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would

raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other

children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education.

Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally,

sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc.

with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one

word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and

they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images

with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and

references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

Bonus Book suggestion

Change Your Story, Change Your Life: A Path to Success -by Jen Grisanti

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Editing Your Life’s Stories Can Create Happier Endings

If you have any kind of ‘story’ in your life from yesterday to way back in childhood, this stuff can help.

I have also heard, read about and used some other techniques that can help. NLP, Tony Robbins have some.

One was taking the image you have of the bad memory. First muffle the sound so you can hardly hear it. Then make the image black and white like an old TV. Then shrink the image in your mind’s eye so it seems about one inch. Then push it down and to the left. That’s your memory. Not so bad when shrunk, muffled, B/W and off to the side. Sometimes you need to repeat it a few times but it helps a lot…

Editing Your Life’s Stories Can Create Happier Endings

by LULU MILLER

January 01, 2014 2:00 PM

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2014/01/01/258674011/editing-your-lifes-stories-can-create-happier-endings

It was a rainy night in October when my nephew Lewis passed the Frankenstein statue standing in front of a toy store. The 2 1/2 year-old boy didn’t see the monster at first, and when he turned around, he was only inches from Frankenstein’s green face, bloodshot eyes, and stitches-covered skin.

The 4-foot-tall monster terrified my nephew so much that he ran deep into the toy store. And on the way back out, he simply couldn’t face the statue. He jumped into his mother’s arms and had to bury his head in her shoulder.

For hours after the incident, Lewis was stuck. He kept replaying the image of Frankenstein’s face in his mind. “Mom, remember Frankenstein?” he asked over and over again. He and his mom talked about how scary the statue was, how Lewis had to jump into her arms. It was “like a record loop,” my sister said.

But then, suddenly, Lewis’ story completely changed. My sister was recounting the tale to the family: how they left the store, how they had to walk by Frankenstein. And then — “I peed on him!!” Lewis blurted out triumphantly, with a glint in his eyes.

In that instant, Lewis had overpowered Frankenstein — if only in his mind.

“Well, your nephew is a brilliant story editor,'” says psychologist Tim Wilson of the University of Virginia.

Wilson has been studying how small changes in a person’s own stories and memories can help with emotional health. He calls the process “story editing.” And he says that small tweaks in the interpretation of life events can reap huge benefits.

This process is essentially what happens during months, or years, of therapy. But Wilson has discovered ways you can change your story in only about 45 minutes.

Wilson first stumbled on the technique back in the early 1980s, when he found that a revised story helped college students who were struggling academically. “I’m bad at school” was the old story many of them were telling themselves. That story leads to a self-defeating cycle that keeps them struggling, Wilson says.

The new story Wilson gave them was: “Everyone fails at first.” He introduced the students to this idea by having them read accounts from other students who had struggled with grades at first and then improved. It was a 40-minute intervention that had effects three years later.

“The ones who got our little story-editing nudge improved their grades, whereas the others didn’t,” Wilson says. “And to our surprise … those who got our story-editing intervention were more likely to stay in college. The people in the control group were more likely to drop out.”

Similar interventions have also helped students feel like they fit in socially at college and have helped parents to stop abusing their kids.

The idea is that if you believe you are something else — perhaps smarter, more socially at ease — you can allow for profound changes to occur.

You can even try story-editing yourself at home with these writing exercises. Simply pick a troubling event. And write about it for 15 minutes each day for four days. That’s it.

These exercises have been shown to help relieve mental anguish, improve health and increase attendance at work.

No one is sure why the approach works. But Wilson’s theory is that trying to understand why a painful event happened is mentally consuming. People get stuck in thinking, “Why did he leave me?” or “Why was she so disappointed in me?” Or for Lewis, “Where did that scary Frankenstein face come from?”

As you write about the troubling, confusing event again and again, eventually you begin to make sense of it. You can put those consuming thoughts to rest.

So as you look forward to changing yourself this year, consider looking back on whatever your Frankensteins may be. And if you squint your eyes a little and turn your head just a bit, you may see that your leg was lifted. That maybe you did pee on him after all.

My Story, Chapter 1

Storybook_Cover1

When I started blogging I told stories about myself – moreso than I have recently. Many people reacted well to that.

I received good feedback. Recently a few of you have asked that I return to that sort of thing.

At the same time I wanted to put my story, or at least part of it, out there. My goal is to share my mistakes, successes and the lessons that I learned. Plus if you see me and how I go through some challenges I’ve had, maybe you will be encouraged through your challenges.

———–

Starting the story is often the toughest part, right?

Do I start telling you about when I thought I might go bankrupt? Do I tell you how great I felt when my daughters were born? When I was promoted in different jobs? When I was self-employed – the freedom, excitement, pride, fear, anxiety? Or do I start talking about “the year” when I was unemployed and we lost 5 family members, they passed-away?

I thought about the many challenges that I’ve faced as an adult – probably similar to things you’ve faced….. I chose to start when I first felt “baptism by fire”, as it was referred to by a family friend.

OK, picture a 20 year old young male. I had been a pretty shy person in grade school, even high school. During my freshmen year at college I was still pretty shy but started to come out of my shell. Now, during my sophomore year, I decided to be a social butterfly. I got a fake ID, I went out, I dated, I had fun. I got to know lots of people at college and at other spots. Lots of road trips were involved. I had my first Spring Break trip to Daytona Beach. Wow, I enjoyed life for a few months. I had lots of fun.

However, you could safely say that I didn’t put much effort into studies and my grades fell hard that year. It was May, school was out, and my parents knew I didn’t do well and although the report card didn’t come home yet, I knew that it wasn’t going to be pretty.

Now, step back for a moment…..My father operated a sales agency in the kitchen cabinet and woodworkers’ industry. He was formerly a cabinetmaker who had a heart attack at age 45. So he became a self-employed sales rep to the same industry. At this time, he was about 58. He was successful, did well and had a nice addition on our home for the home office. I never knew anything of an empty stomach, empty refrigerator, empty pantry or old clothes. However, I didn’t get the name brands and I didn’t live like a rich kid.

Since school let out, I said that I’d take a week off then start working for my dad that summer. (Somehow I thought that I needed a week’s vacation from all the partying at college before I could work.) So I ‘chilled’ for about a week, listening to Ice, Ice, Baby (Vanilla Ice); Blame it on the Rain (Milli Vanilli); Janie’s Got a Gun (Aerosmith); Epic (Faith No More); Without You (Motley Crue); Blaze Of Glory (Jon Bon Jovi), and my favorite of that period, Pink Floyd. Some sweet tunes. I look back, man was I immature.

Monday came and it was time to work. I put in my first day with my dad….. I woke up, didn’t shower, put on the baseball cap and coasted through the day. My mom made us both a big lunch, about 1 hour long; it was going to be a sweet summer. After dinner it was time to cut the grass. We lived on about 30-some acres, about 10 was grass. I think I cut most of it that night on the tractor. My dad was using the push mower to trim around the house and tight spots. I noticed he had a tough time starting it – it was a pull-start – and he was getting frustrated.

Later I finished up, it was getting dark and I came into the house. My mother was out in town running errands. My father was laying in bed – it was perhaps 9pm. He never laid in bed that early – especially with his ‘work clothes’ on. I asked him what happened. He thought that he pulled a muscle starting the mower – his lower left side hurt.

Of course I did the right thing – I went immediately to my room and put on Pink Floyd. My mother came home very soon after, saw him, checked him out and called the ambulance. He was having another heart-attack, she said.

She asked me to go stand by him and talk to him. I did. What was I to say? I tried to joke about something but I could see he was in pain. I told him to try and relax. Easy for me to say.  I recall that he got up at one point or so with dry heaves and other symptoms. It was scarey. This was a serious downer dude.

The ambulance was taking a long time to get to the house. It was before the 911 emergency services named and mapped the roads. Long before GPS. Our address was RD#3 Box 280F. Not much help finding the home.

Through their radio and the dispatcher, they called our house looking for better directions. They went to our neighor’s house about 1/4 mile away. He walked the ambulance back….yes, I said he WALKED the ambulance back to the house.

I recall seeing in the dusk a man walking back our private road – and behind him was an ambulance. I couldn’t believe it….my father was having a heart attack and the ambulance was literally coming to our home at a walker’s pace. It finally arrived, they went upstairs. They came down with my dad on the gurney and they couldn’t get him past our decorative wagon wheels on either side of the sidewalk.

My dad had put these old wagon wheels he found from the old farm on our property there years early. They were in the theme of my parents’ home, I suppose. On this day, they were barriers to my dad’s medical services, perhaps to saving his life. The ambulance guys were gently trying to move the wheels and delicately trying to push them aside. I recall telling one to step back and I kicked it hard, then watched it fall out of the way.

My mom left to go to the hospital. She asked me to stay, wrap up the home and not come into the hospital until the next morning. She called from the hospital later that night and repeated her wish for me to stay there at home as it would be a long week and she needed me fresh. She gave me a list of clothes and items to bring in the next day.

I hung up and noticed that my hands were shaking. I began to tremble all over my body. What the hell was going on? Two weeks ago I was hangin’ with my buds and a few cold brews. One week ago I was chillin’ in my room. Now my dad was possibly dying? A heart attack – again?

I remember suddenly noticing how beautiful the night was outside. I sat out on our screened porch on that early summer’s night. We lived on the edge of the woods and the noises from the trees comforted me. I heard animals, birds, bugs settle in for the night. I heard the quiet noise from Mill Creek. I was alone but didn’t feel loneliness. I couldn’t calm down though…I kept shaking.

I went inside and tried to watch TV but couldn’t do so. I still was trembling. For the first time that I could recall, I went into my parents’ cabinet and got a shot of whiskey, just one, and took it. It calmed me enough that I went to bed and slept.

Continued……………

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