Tag Archives: life lesson

Frey Freyday -Adaptation

creativity

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change. –Stephen Hawking


All of us need to begin to think in terms of our own inner strengths, our resilience and resourcefulness, our capacity to adapt and to rely upon ourselves and our families.-Steven Pressfield


Enjoying success requires the ability to adapt. Only by being open to change will you have a true opportunity to get the most from your talent.-Nolan Ryan


A true champion can adapt to anything.-Floyd Mayweather, Jr.

Fortunately for me, my parents were not poetic. They were pragmatic. They understood that ignorance and fear were but matters of the mind, and the mind is adaptable. They believed that I should grow up to enjoy the same freedoms and responsibilities as everyone else.Daniel Kish (a blind man that ‘sees’ by clicking with his tongue)


We are a party of innovation. We do not reject our traditions, but we are willing to adapt to changing circumstances, when change we must. We are willing to suffer the discomfort of change in order to achieve a better future.-Barbara Jordan


Adapt or perish, now as ever, is nature’s inexorable imperative.-H. G. Wells

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Adaptation – [ad-uh p-tey-shuh n] – usually an unconscious modification of individual and social activity in adjustment to cultural surroundings.

Organisms face a succession of environmental challenges as they grow and develop and are equipped with an adaptive plasticity.

 So we all face challenges, and we all face the dark unknown, which is endemic to most challenges, which is what most of us fear, okay? But we all have brains that activate to allow us to navigate the journey through these challenges. Okay? We have the power to adapt. Sometimes it is a little scary or outside of our comfort zone.

We face a challenge. Something happens. How we react and how we adapt is up to us. What you do next separates you from someone else.

Adaptation is necessary in relationships too. A lot of us have been conditioned to think that once we find the person who we believe is perfect for us, then the hard work is over. Everything should be smooth sailing from that point on. After all, if they are perfect for us, shouldn’t everything just fall into place? But that couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, once you find the partner you are ready to commit to, that’s when the real work begins. And any healthy relationship will require a certain amount of flexibility from each partner. Because change is inevitable. And in order for a relationship to grow and prosper, it is critical that you and your partner be able to adapt to the changes, finding your way through the good and the bad together.

Sometimes adaptation leads to creativity and better solutions. Example: Kevin Systerom invented an app called Burbn, however, it was not exactly a hit with the users. The app was just too complicated. But Systrom was undaunted. He brought on another programmer and together, the pair determined that while users were not utilizing Burbn’s check-in features, they were using the app’s photo-sharing features. And after months of tweaking and experimenting, Systrom and Krieger released a pared down version of Burbn that was essentially a simple photo-sharing app. They called it Instagram. So they simplified it, made it interesting/useful/successful by adapting.

Evolution is adaptation – it is a trait with a current functional role in the life of an organism that is maintained and evolved by means of natural selection. Therefore in some cases, adaptation can be do or die. If we don’t adapt and eat in a healthier manner, maybe we’ll die from heart disease or diabetes. If we don’t stop smoking, we may die earlier, right? If we don’t adapt to a compromise that works, our relationship may die. If we don’t adapt to our job or career, that opportunity may die.

In the world of psychology, those who more easily adapt are typically happier. The adaptation process is a critical part of cognitive development. Through the adaptive processes of assimilation and accommodation, people are able to take in new information, form new ideas or change existing ones, and adopt new behaviors that make them better prepared to deal with the world around them. This is something that can happen unconsciously but also something we can choose to do – we can be open to other ideas, approach new things in a reasonable manner and decide if the new information might help us.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

BONUS: Ted Talk Summaries @ Adaptation

http://www.npr.org/programs/ted-radio-hour/455904076/adaptation?showDate=2015-11-20 – Humans adapt to physical and creative challenges in remarkable ways. How do we do it, and what happens when we can’t? In this episode, TED speakers share inspiring stories about our capacity to adapt.

Bonus #2

The Power of Gratefulness In Your Daily Life by John Assaraf

http://blog.myneurogym.com/grateful-life/

‘Tis the Season for Giving Thanks…

The smell of turkey is in the air, and that can only mean that another year is coming to a close. Now is the time to take a moment and reflect. How did 2015 go for you? Did you achieve some personal and professional goals you set at the beginning of the year? Or, do you find yourself saying “if only I…”

It is easy to look back and focus on regrets, mistakes, and missed opportunities. However, a negative outlook on the events of the past year can set you up for failure in the next one. What if you concentrated on things from the last 12 months that you can be grateful for instead? You would be amazed at how it might change your whole perspective.

Being grateful may not come naturally to you. Some people have to make a conscious effort. It means pausing in the middle of a hectic life and giving thanks, verbally, internally, or even on paper, for the good things. It can be something big like your health, the love of a spouse or partner, or a fulfilling job.

But it can also be the little things. A sunset, a song on the radio, a green light… you would be amazed by the positive energy you create in your mind from being grateful about a small thing that you would normally ignore or overlook altogether.

Many studies have shown that making even a little effort on a daily basis can perpetuate positivity. A 2003 study that compared two groups, one that kept track weekly of things they were grateful for with one that only listed the things that bothered them, revealed that after 10 weeks, the first group enjoyed significantly greater life satisfaction than the other.

So how can you integrate gratefulness more into your daily life? First, start with the voice in your head. Make sure at least once a day you hear it say, “I’m grateful for…” no matter how big or small it is. Next, try on a weekly basis to write an email or letter to a friend, co-worker, or family member, thanking them for their help or generosity. Finally, you can simply say “thank you” to everyone! Whether it’s the barista, the bus driver, or the bagger at the supermarket, expressing your gratefulness with those simple two words is a great way to pay it forward – and put proven power into your own life.

If I could have you read one post….!!!

If I could have you read one post….

If you read any of my other blog posts, you would know that 2009 was a tough year for me.

Like many, I became unemployed for the first time.

I also lost both my parents, and lost other relatives in our family.

However -I think things were starting to go from good to worse before that and mostly because of my attitude- my focus -my choice of vocabulary……..

 

…..I could put it this way – from about 2001 through 2008 things improved for me financially and otherwise. Things got better on the whole. However for whatever reason in late 2006, 2007, 2008, I start focusing on the wrong things.

I started using vocabulary and questions and words that were not good, not empowering.

For instance; I have a great wife – but at that time I really focused on what she was doing wrong -little things, big things. They weren’t anything out of the ordinary; she’s human, I’m human, we all make mistakes and do little things that irritate one another. That’s all these things were.

 

I was focusing on things around my house that didn’t work. I believe this probably was one of the major issues for me. In 2007 we bought a new house, we paid more than I really wanted to and found out later that there were lots of things that needed to be fixed and I got angry and bitter and focused on those bad things. I totally forgot the beautiful surrounding, the neighborhood, the value, and the simple fact that I could buy a home.

 

The other thing was my vocabulary. I would ask questions like “Can it get any worse? How can this get any worse? Why are these bad things happening to me? Why can’t I make more money? Why am I so unlucky? What other bad things are about to happen?” Etc. etc….. you get the idea. Everyone’s brain is like a computer – ask a question and it will search for answers. Ask a bad/disempowerint/negative question and you’ll get an answer “Why am I so unlucky?” …. your brain will search for things, true or not, to answer it.

Ask a positive question “Why am I so lucky?” and yes, your brain will search for things, true or not, to answer it.

 

You must already understand that I was making more money than I ever had before. I had a nicer house than I ever had before. I had (and still have) two beautiful daughters, a caring beautiful wife, friends, family, and lots of great things. My parents and many loved ones were alive with me then.

 

Then there were my poor choices with words and questions.

I would often use dis-empowering, negative words and apply them to everyday things. For instance I’d say that some basic thing in daily life was “horrific.” Meanwhile, it was something as simple as a busy day and I would be tied up until late…often with productive things or customer meetings (revenue generators).

 

I would often use words/phrases like “that’s crazy, that’s outrageous, that’s terrible,” in my vocabulary – which really blew things out of proportion. A day that’s busy with lots of opportunities is by no means horrific.

 

At work, I went from being someone who had a reputation of as a great communicator; diplomatic and able to get along with everyone – even ‘difficult people’, to someone that became known as being a little sharp, blunt and less forgiving. I wasn’t even sure how that happened. Almost overnight people seemed to not enjoy communicating with me as much as before.

 

My focus:

I would focus on the things that my coworkers and colleagues did wrong. This is Not good especially in a team environment. I didn’t often offer a solution. (I often say it’s good to offer a solution if you’re gonna complain-or just don’t complain) I would just complain without anything constructive to say. I got bitter I would focus on it at night in bed.

I would focus on those things that were not working.

 

Then 2008 came, the financial crisis hit, and we were told that we were losing our jobs. Of course I was angry and better about that, and I had a bad attitude about finding a job. Then, in retrospect, I think that my reputation of being a tough guy may have hurt me finding a job. It is hard for me to say that but it’s probably true.

 

In early 2009, my parents died and we lost three other relatives that my wife and I both loved from her family. I struggled for a long time.

It was very tough on me as a man as a father and as a provider.

 

I knew I was in a funk. I knew I needed some help. Even though we were very tight on money I hired a coach. I got myself some good books to read and just tried to work out of it.

 

It was and is really simple in concept but hard in practice:

  • Focus on what works.
  • Focus on what you want (not what you don’t want).
  • Focus on the present, the now, be aware.
  • Take action.
  • Picture, imagine, and visualize good things (instead of bad things, which is simply worrying.)

Ask good questions. Your brain will find good stuff no matter what, no matter how small and your focus will be on the good stuff.

 

Lastly, really make an effort to be happy. I don’t mean being selfish and focusing on what I want but being happy with simple things in life.

Being happy with what we have now. I have had so many good things and I lost many of them. I didn’t necessarily enjoy them then but I wish I had the back.

 

But I’m happy now with what I have and I enjoy them.

We all need to enjoy the moment, find joy right now. Time goes so fast.

 

I also avoid things that make me unhappy. I’m not talking about chores at home or things to do at work. I am talking about people with negative energy, the evening news, reality television, …..things that I know are low energy or negative energy and things that are not empowering.

 

We all know all of the above things, perhaps.

I agree, maybe none of these are ‘lightning strikes’ or Eurekas.

 

I have read them over and over through the years but it is really only after I’ve had those tragedies, the unemployment that I looked in the mirror and finally tried to put them into my life.

 

I certainly have bad days and I still focus on bad things and I slip but

I tell you from the bottom of my heart, over and over again, these things I’ve mentioned above; focus on good things, focus on what works, live in the present, be happy with what you have, be happy for the simple things, focus on what you can do now-take action, asking great questions – have all helped me immensely in the past five years. Try it.

 

I’m still not out of the woods but I’m certainly happier and I’m moving in the right direction now and I feel better about life and life is improving.

 

%d bloggers like this: