Frey Freyday – Compassion

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

 –com·pas·sion \kəm-ˈpa-shən\ – a feeling of wanting to help some other person or being

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The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others.-Albert Schweitzer

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Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.-Dalai Lama

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I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.-Lao Tzu

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WORD TO LIVE BY:

com·pas·sion –

This was shared last year but worth sharing again…

First, all great religions talk about compassion. The more we mature individually and/or as a species, the more compassionate we become.

There is another definition out there that states “Compassion motivates people to go out of their way to help physical, spiritual, or emotional hurts or pains of another. Compassion is often regarded as having an emotional aspect to it, though when based on cerebral notions such as fairness, justice and interdependence, it may be considered rational in nature and its application understood as an activity based on sound judgment.” This is true. Even though compassion and the act of it often makes us feel better and involved emotion, the benefits can truly be rational and pragmatic.

Compassion is part of altruism – loving and giving unconditionally. As we strive to become better people we must take steps to become more altruistic, which of course means we can act more compassionate.

There are scientific, medical, and psychological studies that show how compassion actually benefits the given and the receiver. Studies have shown that when I am compassionate to another, I benefit; the receiver benefits, and even those people that observe the act benefit. Compassion may have the ability to induce feelings of kindness and forgiveness, which could give people the ability to stop situations that occasionally lead to violence.

Identifying with another person is an essential process for human beings. It is commonly seen throughout the world as people adapt and change with new styles of clothing, language, behavior, etc., which is illustrated by infants who begin to mirror the facial expressions and body movements of their mother as early as the first days of their lives. This process is highly related to compassion because sympathizing with others is possible with people from other countries, cultures, locations, etc

Compassion is a number of things – helping others in need, relieving stress/strife/pain/hurt. Compassion is a process of connecting by identifying with another person.

 Today I was reminded again of compassion in an article. The article did cite a quote from author Kari Kampakis. It beautifully describes the concept of using people’s hurtful actions as opportunities for self-growth and compassion. She writes:

“Regardless of how anyone treats you, you stand to benefit. While some people teach you who you do want to be, others teach you who you don’t want to be. And it’s the people who teach you who you don’t want to be that provide some of the most lasting and memorable lessons on social graces, human dignity, and the importance of acting with integrity.”

Sometimes when we experience unkind treatment from others in the world, we can choose to withdraw, feel hurt, feel angry, etc. Or we can use it as a reminder or opportunity, and it can become a means to gain awareness, compassion, and connection.

(the 2020 challenge is to use 3 quotes or less, what do you think?)

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

 

Bonus: 7 Great TED talks about Compassion

https://www.ted.com/playlists/447/how_to_make_compassion_thrive

Frey Freyday – Tolerance

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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Tolerance – [ˈtäl(ə)rəns]- the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.

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The highest result of education is tolerance. Helen Keller

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The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority. Ralph W. Sockman –

I think more tolerance, more people having more access to a chance to be literate, and a chance to stay healthy makes for a more peaceful planet. Henry Rollins –

What is tolerance? It is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other’s folly – that is the first law of nature. Voltaire –

I’ve lived the American Dream and had a great life. Immigration and religion and racial tolerance are the foundation of this country. Shahid Khan –

When you feel peaceful and successful, you want to extend and export that peace and love. The violence, hatred, prejudice, and judgment in our world suggest that we have miles to go to reach a world of inner and outer peace. Wayne Dyer

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We must practice universal toleration or the right of every man to abide by his own faith and beliefs without interference or fearing retaliation or to the right to hold views that are not judged unjustly simple because they differ from another. Tolerance could be defined as reason and understanding tempered by kindness and respect.

Word to Live By:

Tolerance – something our world needs a little more of…

There are lots of strong opinions today….on both sides and on many issues. It is easy for us all to get emotional, defensive, angry, etc. We need to take a breath. We can benefit from understanding our brothers and sisters out there.

Sometimes I see that we aren’t listening to each other much. We can use more compassion, kindness, respect, civility and tolerance.

I believe each of us can be more open and respectful to each other’s ideas, beliefs and thoughts. We would get along better and accomplish more if we did.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

 

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BONUS: TED TALK-For more tolerance, we need more … tourism?

https://www.ted.com/talks/aziz_abu_sarah_for_more_tolerance_we_need_more_tourism

Aziz Abu Sarah is a Palestinian activist with an unusual approach to peace-keeping: Be a tourist. The TED Fellow shows how simple interactions with people in different cultures can erode decades of hate. He starts with Palestinians visiting Israelis and moves beyond …

Frey Freyday – Top Ten Words

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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Hello – I am breaking from the normal format and process for a moment. Sometimes we can benefit from reflection and a different perspective. Also, we all love those “Top Ten” lists that everyone seems to offer.

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This is a list of the Top Ten Words to Live By, in my opinion. I think in different situations, one can argue a different order here but in general, my list:

 

1. State of mind – No matter what, your state of mind is everything. Making decisions, taking actions, interacting with others, thinking by ourselves, happiness, life – our state of mind affects all things for better or worse. In the same moment, the state of mind can change everything.

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Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way, to choose one’s own state of mind.-Victor E. Frankl

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2. Decision – the decision to act, to think a certain way, to do or not do….making a decision can literally make an instant and huge impact. A decision can determine your destiny.

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“What I’ve come to realize is that the single most important decision in life is this: Are you committed to being happy, no matter what happens to you?” asks Tony Robbins. “To put this another way, will you commit to enjoying life not only when everything goes your way but also when everything goes against you, when injustice happens, when someone screws you over, when you lose something or someone you love, or when nobody seems to understand or appreciation you?”

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3. Action – Talk is cheap. Theroad to hell is paved with good  One action starts change. Consistent action builds habits, persistence and a pipeline of success. Massive action produces massive results. I believe that action is everything. Dumb or smart. Evil or well-meaning. Good ideas are all fine and good but without action, they are nothing.

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Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.-Bradley Whitford

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Action is the foundational key to all success.-Pablo Picasso

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4. Focus – In this world there is good stuff, empowering stuff, upsetting stuff, angry stuff – all sorts of stuff for us to focus on….and what we focus on often determines our state of mind, actions, decisions, etc.  ‘Where our focus goes, energy flows and things grow.’ You focus on negative stuff, it grows. You focus on happy or helpful things, likewise they will grow in your life. It isn’t saying the bad doesn’t exist, just focusing on the good makes life better.

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Accidents, coincidences, and serendipities are the disguises I use to sneak magic and miracles into your life without arousing suspicion that the game is rigged, the dragons are fake, and you’re about to hit the biggest “home run” of your life. Just keep focusing on what you want and move ahead. Now, please don’t ruin this for anyone – The Universe http://www.tut.com

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The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire not things we fear.-Brian Tracy

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5. Questions – Questions set our moods, our focus, our beliefs and our actions. We all ask ourselves questions each and every day, all day, whether we realize it or not. They say we have up to 60,000 thoughts running through our minds each day, and many of these are questions. Are they good questions? Are they useful? Do they empower us?

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Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone’s face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions. I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come.-Henri Nouwen

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Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.-Voltaire

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6. Belief – Your beliefs are everything. Beliefs make up your personality, they create habits which lead to your lifestyle, your relationships, your career, etc. Beliefs can limit you or they can help you excel and grow. The meaning we assign to all sorts of things are related to beliefs.

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Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. Belief creates the actual fact.-William James

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It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.-Muhammad Ali

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7. Faith – Have faith in yourself, in your gifts, have faith in others, have faith in our World. Have faith with your spirituality or religion. Have faith that things will work out, that you have all that you need inside you right now. Have faith that amazing things can happen. Sometimes we just have to let go and have faith.

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Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.-Martin Luther King, Jr.

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You’ll see it when you believe it.-Wayne Dyer

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8. Happiness/Joy – One of the best lessons I learned on my own, even though my parents often told me, is to just be happy. Don’t wait for it, don’t look for it, and don’t expect that when you buy/accomplish/get something that you’ll be happy then. Be happy now and always. If you’re happy and experience joy, your decisions, actions, and life will reflect it. People are drawn to happy people. Challenges will come into our life regardless, but if we have joy and happiness, the challenges are a little easier to deal with and recover from.

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The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature. –Marcus Aurelius

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Research has shown that the best way to be happy is to make each day happy.-Deepak Chopra

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9. Vocabulary – the words you consistently use to describe your life, emotions and sensations—immediately change how you think, feel and live. (if you want to change your life, Adjust your habitual vocabulary)

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Language shapes our behavior and each word we use is imbued with multitudes of personal meaning. The right words spoken in the right way can bring us love, money and respect, while the wrong words—or even the right words spoken in the wrong way—can lead to a country to war. We must carefully orchestrate our speech if we want to achieve our goals and bring our dreams to fruition.—Dr. Andrew Newberg, Words Can Change Your Brain

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10. Kindness –We are here to experience life together. Part of life is contributing back, compassion, love and kindness. How can we work with/play with/be with others in this world if there isn’t kindness. The Golden Rule or law of reciprocity is the principle of treating others as one would wish to be treated oneself. Multiple religions discuss this and atheists also often embrace it. Kindness is necessary for any role in life, for any moment in life. Kindness is the expression of mature ‘agape’ love.

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This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness. – Dalai Lama

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Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. – Lao Tzu

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(BONUS- #11. WHY? Ask why you’re doing ‘it’, whatever ‘it’ is….. determine the why and the how will work out just fine….)

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Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

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A thought about – Paying it forward

 

From the FaceBook page – Jody Marie LappierPaying it Forward ~ One Day at a Time

“My daughter turned 5 years old 4/15 2013. She wanted to make people smile. We bought 18 long stem Roses at Safeway. Grace Randomly handed out these roses to who “she” felt could use a smile. The response was more profound than even I expected.

7 people’s day changed from horrible days to great ones 11 took pictures with her, 3 cried and came back for hugs, and told her how much it meant to them. One I swear held my daughter for 10 minutes sobbing (she was missing her children that day). One woman (at the coinstar) gave her a HUGE gummy toothless smile and told her she now has faith in our children of today. I gave her $10. She stated “I can now buy meat for dinner to feed my family”. I am so proud of her selflessness on her 5th birthday. We need to do this more often. Pay it forward, teach your children!”

One simple action=HUGE results

Did you ever notice how one person’s actions, one event, one seemingly little thing can lead to big consequences or huge results?

Recently I saw an advertisement for a move called Cloud Atlas. I saw the commercial twice and had no idea what it was about. I looked it up on imdb.com.

The description says, “An exploration of how the actions of individual lives impact one another in the past, present and future, as one soul is shaped from a killer into a hero, and an act of kindness ripples across centuries to inspire a revolution.” You can also watch a trailer at this link.  http://www.imdb.com/rg/s/4/title/tt1371111/#lb-vi2166203417

I don’t know if it is a good movie or not. I am not here to recommend or criticize. However, the concept is very interesting and true.

Think of events in recent history – how the action of one or a few people affected us all – or many many of us. Certainly 9/11. Farther back we can look at JFK and Martin Luther King’s assassination. There are all kinds of events where one person made a poor choice and many others suffered in some way. All too often, the media highlights bad events.

We have many great events and actions that have resulted in good things. Think about our Founding Fathers. Rosa Parks. Think about someone at your school or workplace that stood up for someone else. Even if you were just an observer you felt it, right?

Think about your own life. I know that I had a psychology teacher in high school that made one nice comment about me and it still helps me move ahead.

Likewise, in college a professor required us to submit journals for a project and he made comments. One of his comments still resonates in my mind today, it was encouraging, positive and really seemed to ring true with me, and it inspires me.

My parents are gone now but things they did or said still mean so much to me in good ways. My grandfather didn’t always have good things to say about people and he struggled in his own life but I still recall one uplifting comment he made to me when I was 14. I still recall the sunny, warm spring day. I was  working in the yard with a shovel and he gave me a compliment that I’ll never forget.

My daughters have said things or done things for my wife and I and they just touch your heart and keep you going. I’ve had some great bosses/managers who I refer to as mentors. Their simple actions, beliefs, and support of me have meant the world in my life and career.

There was a time many years ago when I felt like a loser. I felt like a goof, a failure, and felt like I had no identity or value in life. Someone that I knew only for a short time must have sensed it and said a few sentences to me. I sincerely think that had that not been said to me then and there, I would have gone into alcohol and drugs and made some poor choices.

There are many ‘successful’ people in the world who credit a mentor or one event to their success. There are countless inspiring stories how one person’s kindness or action transformed a life, and set multiple things in motion.

A drop in the ocean creates ripples around the world. One rain drop begins huge waterfalls. The journey of a 1000 miles begins with one step.

Let’s face it, in our own lives, it isn’t often about the big steps, is it? Life is often about those daily actions, steps, thoughts. Our persistent, consistent actions each day can lead to tremendous results. We write a book one page at a time.

We lose weight/build muscle/build a business/strengthen a relationship/chase a dream one small action at a time. The vision can be big, sure. And yes, sometimes we’ll have huge actions or jumps that leap us forward.

Do you recall the last time you did one small action that led to huge results?

I look back to when I was struggling in business and looking for an easy way to success. I looked to others, books, CDs, whatever. I finally admitted to myself that I was in denial and I just needed to go do it. I went out and “did it” day after day. It wasn’t always fun but all of a sudden I was experiencing success.

Then, guess what, better things came my way. I wasn’t even looking for another opportunity but a better one came to me. One person believed in me, took a risk on me and we both succeeded together.

What one thing can you do today to move towards your big vision?

What one thing can you do to help others?

What simple action or word of kindness can we start that will create waves of great results over time?

We come this way but once. 

We can either tiptoe through life and hope that we get to death without being too badly bruised,

or we can live a full, complete life achieving our goals and realizing our wildest dreams.

– Bob Proctor

Thanks for your actions. Thanks for reading.