Tag Archives: identity

Frey Freyday- Habits

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Repetition of the same thought or physical action develops into a habit which, repeated frequently enough, becomes an automatic reflex. Norman Vincent Peale

Moral excellence comes about as a result of habit. We become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts. Aristotle

Food is not rational. Food is culture, habit, craving and identity. Jonathan Safran Foer

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. Jim Ryun

To change a habit, make a conscious decision, then act out the new behavior. Maxwell Maltz

Until you have formed the habit of looking for the good instead of the bad there is in others, you will be neither successful nor happy. Napoleon Hill
 

Make it your habit not to be critical about small things. Edward Everett Hale

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Habit- nounhab·​it | \ ˈha-bət  \-an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary

Did you ever notice how hard it is to break some habits?

It has been said that as much as 95% of what you do all day long is habit. Habits happen in your brain and you have no conscious thought about it. Many say that Habits CONTROL you.

(Yes, habits can be ‘good’ or ‘bad’)

In fact, research done at the Max Planck Institute in Leipzig Germany, one of the foremost research institutes in the world, discovered that 95% of everything that we do on a daily basis is brain-based and habit-based. We go through our entire days on automatic autopilot. As a matter of fact, we go through most of our days on brain-based automatic autopilot or on unconscious autopilot.

Habits are not personal. They come from the reptilian part of the brain. By the way, the reptilian part of the brain doesn’t know right or wrong, good from bad. It just works from habit.

“You don’t get in life what you want, you get what/who you are (habits).” Jim Fortin

Habits have to do with our identity also. If you ask someone, “Are you a smoker?” – they will answer yes or no. Obviously if they are a smoker, they’ll say yes. Their identity is a smoker. But we all have other little identities, many we’re not aware of; ‘a messy person’, ‘someone who is always late’, ‘victim’, ‘hard-worker’, ‘generous person’, ‘funny person’, etc. etc..

You could also state that everything you have in life is a habit and everything you don’t have is a habit so it’s vital that you master your habit management.

·         willpower only works to some degree to change habits

·         everything is about training yourself; good or bad

 With a habit, there is first the cue or urge to do something. Often we don’t know this happens. So we have the urge to do something – the habit, then we do the habit, which is often like a reward. Example; I have an urge, I say, “I want a diet soda”. I often break and have one in that moment.

So let’s say you want to stop a habit; essentially your willpower and your reptilian brain battle it out. Usually your reptilian brain wins.

But there are strategies to overcome the reptilian brain. Here is one from a guy named Jim Fortin:

When you get an urge for a habit, say “This is just a habit, it is not me.”

  1. Then say, “This urge will go away if I dismiss it.”
  2. Then say, “It is just my habit ‘voice’, it’s not me!”
  3. Then say, “I Choose to dismiss this urge and this ‘voice’ now!”
  4. Say one more thing; “I’ve moved my attention elsewhere.”

Remember, we are usually where we are in our life where our attention is. If we move our attention, we can more our lives.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

BONUS  :

Why/what and more about habits and Steps to break habits

Podcast by Jim Fortin “Why It’s So Hard To Break Your Bad Habits”

https://www.jimfortin.com/podcast/episode-45-why-its-so-hard-to-break-your-bad-habits-part-2/

Frey Freyday – Identity

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

 i·den·ti·ty – ˌīˈden(t)ədē/ -noun: -the fact of being who or what a person or thing is.

 Food is not rational. Food is culture, habit, craving and identity. Jonathan Safran Foer –

The ego is only an illusion, but a very influential one. Letting the ego-illusion become your identity can prevent you from knowing your true self. Ego, the false idea of believing that you are what you have or what you do, is a backwards way of assessing and living life. Wayne Dyer –

In the egoic state, your sense of self, your identity, is derived from your thinking mind – in other words, what your mind tells you about yourself: the storyline of you, the memories, the expectations, all the thoughts that go through your head continuously and the emotions that reflect those thoughts. All those things make up your sense of self. Eckhart Tolle –

An identity would seem to be arrived at by the way in which the person faces and uses his experience. James Baldwin –

We have to really educate ourselves in a way about who we are, what our real identity is. Deepak Chopra –

WORD TO LIVE BY:
Identity – something that we believe about ourselves that influences what we do, what we see, how we act, and in most instances, most of the aspects of our life. It can be changed.

So today when you woke up, did you buy a pack of cigarettes?

For those of you who are not smokers you said, “No!”. Why? Because your identity is a non-smoker. You might answer the question, “No, I am not a smoker.” Smokers identify as such and therefore would answer yes.

If I asked, ‘did you kill anyone?”, might gasp and strongly say “No!”. (Same here.)

Why? Because we do not identify ourselves as murderers. Our identity is such that we are averse to anything that a murderer would do, think, and “BE”.

Those are two stark, clear examples of Identity. Each day we deal with many more less clear examples.

  • Are we someone who follows through and finishes things.
  • Do we speak up?
  • Are we giving?
  • Do we have self-integrity, do we do the right thing even when others are not looking?
  • Do we eat healthy? Do we exercise?

All of these things, and many more small incremental things, are part of our identity. Our identities can help and empower us, or they can hinder or hold us back.

How many times have you heard someone say: “I wasn’t (or was) raised like that”? And why does that matter to us? It matters because you have sourced your identity from your childhood, and from the person who raised you, so those are the beliefs you will always align yourself with.

When you were a child, whose love did you crave the most? By examining your childhood, and understanding whose love you craved most, you can get a more clear explanation of why you see yourself the way you do.

Realize this, your identity (and many of the preconceptions that you have about the world) was created when you were a child. For many of us, the identity and preconceptions have not changed! Do you think that some of these things could and should be updated? It might be empowering, enjoyable, healthy, and better for us to examine what our identity is and if it is accurate.

So, our identity can affect almost everything in our life. If you want to lose weight, if you want to go and invest in real estate, go volunteer, go bring in new leads or business, go for a new goal in life.

I can say that I want to do something and even start doing some actions toward that, but if it is not congruent with my identity, I will face a lot of internal resistance.

Example; I know that my identity is no longer that of a long-distance runner. If I decided to run a marathon, training would be so difficult and I would likely fall-off the regimen because that is not my identity. For others, they get up at 5am in all kinds of weather and run for miles – it IS their identity. But we can change our identity.

  • If we want to become someone else, we must do things outside our comfort zone and we have to imagine ourselves as we want things to be – like Stephen Covey said – think from the end.
  • You are where your attention is.
  • Ask, “Who would I be, what would I do, how would I feel if I already had _________” –Jim Fortin
  • What characteristics would you have as the person that you want to be? (responsible, leader, visionary, commitment, integrity)
  • See things as you want them to be, not as they are.
  • Never say, “I can’t do it because ______”, instead say, “What if I could ______?”
  • Catch yourself and ask better questions.
  • Imagine the ‘new you’.
  • Claim your identity in the present tense. Example: “I am a writer.” And ask “Why am I a writer?”

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

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