Did you ever have a day when you were just down, depressed, and discouraged? We all do to one extent or another…..
Maybe there were lots of things that happened during the day to make it so, maybe it was just the accumulation of things over time.
Not long ago, my wife and I were facing some tough financial times. She quit a job to start another business, we had some expenses that came up unexpectedly, and her business startup was delayed, the cost of startup ended up being three times our expectation due to one cost, and things were slowing down with cashflow there, and things were so tight!
For so long before that point, things had already been tight. I was not happy with my career, at that time, and I had other concerns about the future.
I was really concerned. I remember that it was a Friday, my wife and I would be alone for a change (our kids were on a trip) and we could relax. Instead of living in the moment, enjoying our time and relaxing, I allowed myself to get all freaked out about things and I ruined the day we had. I didn’t yell or scream or go bezerk but I was “out of it” and certainly not fun to be with…just kind of ‘zoned out’. I recall that I was exhausted from being stressed, I think I had an ulcer, and I was feeling ill. I was totally in a bad mood and unhappy. My wife did try to make the day better but it was a very rare time for me that I couldn’t recover.
Recently I was looking through some old things and this day came flashing from the past and was now fresh in my mind. I suddenly felt that desperation and bad feelings from long ago.
Did you ever have a time when you just wanted to give up?
You just wanted to throw in the towel and say, ‘take the house, my car, I’ll go live in the woods or something.’ For a moment I thought about just running away and working on a boat in Alaska or something. I remember feeling that desperation.
We do have a choice, we can give up, but why? What would you gain by giving up? You’d gain some guilt, embarrassment, lack of achievement, more unhappiness, and a bunch more negative feelings than you feel already….
- If we can make it through those moments of desperation, that’s when we grow the most.
- If we can change the meaning why things are happening to us, we can improve.
- If we change the questions which we ask ourselves, change is again easier.
“Behind your greatest fear, lies your greatest gift.” – The Universe, Mike Dooley, www.tut.com
If we focus on what it working in life, and what we can do to take action towards a goal today, that works much, much better than focusing on what we lack or what is wrong with life. THIS IS the primary reason we all get in a desperate state of mind form time to time. We’re desperate, sad, angry, bitter, whatever because we’re focusing on the wrong thing and asking the wrong questions
I’m not here to preach, we all do it, I’m just offering thoughts from my own experience.
Focus on what works, focus on what you can do now towards what you want. Ask better questions. Take action and get some exercise.
Sure, the facts may still be the same but you’ll feel a lot different about them.
And when you’re in a better state of mind, the facts will begin to change for the better, slowly at first then faster and faster.
I wish you the best, keep swinging!