Tag Archives: habits

Frey Freyday – Habits

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Habit- noun -hab·it \ˈha-bət\ –a behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition or physiologic exposure that shows itself in regularity or increased facility of performance

Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones. Benjamin Franklin

Young children need to develop good habits that will be useful to them the rest of their lives. It is important to keep the lessons age-appropriate. For example, when your children start earning allowances, that would be a good time to teach them how to put some money in the bank instead of spending it all. Bill Rancic

You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, ‘I release the need for this in my life’. Wayne Dyer

When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways – either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength. Dalai Lama

Habits change into character. Ovid

The people you surround yourself with influence your behaviors, so choose friends who have healthy habits. Dan Buettner

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Habit – a seemingly small thing that can add up and either improve your life, or not.

Habits aren’t destiny. We can substitute, change and interrupt habits, we can transform our businesses, our communities, and our lives.

Habits occur every day whether we’re aware of it or not. Habits shape our beliefs, our daily accomplishments, our moods, our health, our success, our relationship – habits are like the bricks in a large building – each one builds upon the other. They may appear meaningless or small but each is part of the building. If a brick – or a habit – isn’t a good one, it can weaken the whole building.

Good habits breed good health, success, happiness, good relationships, creativity, abundance.

Habits can be changed, interrupted and replaced.

First we must be aware of the habit and identify it. We need to identify what the trigger is, the routine, the reward and the cue. Interrupt the pattern.

If you eat chips at 10pm each night, ask why you do it, what is the trigger or cue, what is the real reward?

Once you identify the habit and uncover the possible reward(s), experiment with replacing the reward(s). So next time when you go for chips at 10pm, try eating an apple, celery or something healthy. Or instead of eating, go for a late walk, exercise a little, read something interesting, or do something fun/creative – something that provides a reward to you – experiment.

Also, think about habits that you can add or change that will further your goals. Knowledge and goals are nice but without action, they are nothing. Habits are small steps in action.

What steps can you take today to move towards a goal or dream – even a little. What habits can you start that will help you reach your goal or dream?

What habits can you do each day that will help you be happier, healthier, more successful, creative? What is important to you and how can changing/building habits each day improve your life?

Take a moment to think about each little thing you do every minute or hour and think about if that improves your day and life, or if it holds you back in some way.

  • Can you exercise more? Can you spend time reading more? Can you take time to be creative in some way? Can you eat less/healthier/something else? Can you save more? Can you volunteer/contribute? Can I meditate?
  • Can I spend time asking better questions? Can I visualize my goals? Can I think of a solution to a challenge rather than just complaining? Can I be proactive? Can I reach out to a loved one in some meaningful way? Can I get up/go to bed at a better time?

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

BONUS Resource: TED Talk

http://www.ted.com/playlists/321/talks_to_form_better_habits

Habits: How they form and how to break them

https://www.npr.org/2012/03/05/147192599/habits-how-they-form-and-how-to-break-them

How Habits Work https://charlesduhigg.com/how-habits-work/

Frey Freyday – Habits

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Habit-noun-hab·it \ˈha-bət\ –a behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition or physiologic exposure that shows itself in regularity or increased facility of performance

Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones. Benjamin Franklin

Young children need to develop good habits that will be useful to them the rest of their lives. It is important to keep the lessons age-appropriate. For example, when your children start earning allowances, that would be a good time to teach them how to put some money in the bank instead of spending it all. Bill Rancic

You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, ‘I release the need for this in my life’. Wayne Dyer

When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways – either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength. Dalai Lama

Habits change into character. Ovid

The people you surround yourself with influence your behaviors, so choose friends who have healthy habits. Dan Buettner

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Habit – a seemingly small thing that can add up and either improve your life, or not.

Habits aren’t destiny. We can substitute, change and interrupt habits, we can transform our businesses, our communities, and our lives.

Habits occur every day whether we’re aware of it or not. Habits shape our beliefs, our daily accomplishments, our moods, our health, our success, our relationship – habits are like the bricks in a large building – each one builds upon the other. They may appear meaningless or small but each is part of the building. If a brick – or a habit – isn’t a good one, it can weaken the whole building.

Good habits breed good health, success, happiness, good relationships, creativity, abundance.

Habits can be changed, interrupted and replaced.

First we must be aware of the habit and identify it. We need to identify what the trigger is, the routine, the reward and the cue. Interrupt the pattern.

If you eat chips at 10pm each night, ask why you do it, what is the trigger or cue, what is the real reward?

Once you identify the habit and uncover the possible reward(s), experiment with replacing the reward(s). So next time when you go for chips at 10pm, try eating an apple, celery or something healthy. Or instead of eating, go for a late walk, exercise a little, read something interesting, or do something fun/creative – something that provides a reward to you – experiment.

Also, think about habits that you can add or change that will further your goals. Knowledge and goals are nice but without action, they are nothing. Habits are small steps in action.

What steps can you take today to move towards a goal or dream – even a little. What habits can you start that will help you reach your goal or dream?

What habits can you do each day that will help you be happier, healthier, more successful, creative? What is important to you and how can changing/building habits each day improve your life?

Take a moment to think about each little thing you do every minute or hour and think about if that improves your day and life, or if it holds you back in some way.

  • Can you exercise more? Can you spend time reading more? Can you take time to be creative in some way? Can you eat less/healthier/something else? Can you save more? Can you volunteer/contribute? Can I meditate?
  • Can I spend time asking better questions? Can I visualize my goals? Can I think of a solution to a challenge rather than just complaining? Can I be proactive? Can I reach out to a loved one in some meaningful way? Can I get up/go to bed at a better time?

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

 

BONUS Resource: TED Talk

http://www.ted.com/playlists/321/talks_to_form_better_habits

A Summary/Playlist of 8 talks to form better habits

 

Want to form better habits?

Good for new years’ resolutions!

Talks to form better habits
http://www.ted.com/playlists/321/

13 Surprising Ways to Make Happiness a Habit

13 Surprising Ways to Make Happiness a Habit COMMUNICATION MOTIVATION BY IBRAHIM HUSAIN

You know how some people seem to be happy no matter what happens to them?  They always have a positive outlook on life. They seem to enjoy things more than you and me, and their relationships with people thrive in a way that we only imagine.  You’ve probably wondered what it is about them that makes happiness so easy for them.  Well it turns out there is no special trick to happiness.  Just like anything else, it’s just something that we have to learn to make a habit.  Incorporate the following 14 behaviors into your daily life and you’ll find that happiness habits surround you.

  1. Change Your Perspective

There are plenty of reasons to not be happy.  Someone cut you off on the way to work.  You got a ticket.  You made a bad grade or got a less than stellar performance review, etc.  The interesting thing about not feeling happy when these things happen is that you aren’t in control.  You have chosen to let external forces dictate how you feel about life.  When you learn that you have control over these things, simply by changing your perspective, the whole world changes.  For example, take the “someone cut you off on the way to work” scenario.  By making an excuse for that person, such as that they are rushing to get their pregnant wife to the hospital (or some other emergency), you excuse their wrongdoing and are not negatively affected by it.  Hopefully they make it to the hospital in time and bring a beautiful child into the world.  It turns out Your Perception IS Your Reality.

  1. Get Some Sunlight

Sunlight makes us happy.  UV rays hit the skin and the body begins to produce vitamin D ( vitamin D deficiency is associated with depression, among other things).  When the sunlight hits your eyes it signals to your brain to slow down secretion of melatonin (a hormone that helps you sleep), and increases secretion of serotonin (a hormone associated with happiness and wakefulness).  What does all of this mean?  Getting more sun will make you happier.  If you aren’t getting at least 15 minutes of sun exposure on your skin per day, it’s a good idea to try and get out more.  Take a walk during lunch, sit outside for a few minutes instead of watching TV.  Make time for it.

  1. Make a Life List

Life lists are awesome.  They are the theme park of life planning.  Think about the things you want to experience and accomplish before you die.  While it may sound like a morbid pursuit, it’s actually pretty life changing and inspirational.  Especially when you make plans to start checking things off your life list.

  1. Learn a New Hobby

Hobbies are fun ways to experience happiness.  Whether you love to cook, play games, paint, or anything else, the joy of learning a new hobby is one of the most enjoyable endeavors you can embark upon.  When starting a new hobby, focus on the joy of just experiencing something new. There is something magical about being a “newbie,” because with every experience there is something to be gained.

  1. Focus on Appreciation and Gratefulness

Learning to show appreciation and to be grateful for what you have is, in itself, a reward.  People who express appreciation and take time be grateful are happier and have more positive outlooks on life. Start with a simple experiment.  Every night before you go to bed, write down something that happened throughout the day that you are grateful for.  It won’t take long before that habit changes your entire perspective.

  1. Meditate Regularly

While meditation often gets the reputation of being spiritual and strange to those who don’t partake, it has benefits for practically everyone who gives it a real chance.  I don’t see meditation as spiritual. I see it as therapeutic.  I sit quietly for 5-10 minutes per day (I don’t time it‒I just do it), and focus on me.  Sometimes I close my eyes; sometimes I don’t.  But I focus on my breathing, I take stock on how I feel (physically and mentally), and I visualize what my day is going to look like.  It’s almost like a pre-game ritual.  Try it.  You wont be disappointed.

  1.  Embrace Your Fears

Fear is one of the big zappers of happiness.  Fear leads us to worry, causing stress and a focus on negativity.  One way to stop fear is to begin welcoming it into your life.  Obviously you don’t want to jump into the deep end on this one, but start small and start tackling your fears.  You’ll find yourself stronger, more confident, and happier with every fear tackled.

  1. Smile More

Where I live, it’s a common occurrence to exchange smiles with anyone you come into contact with. I’ve traveled enough to know this isn’t a common practice everywhere, but I think it should be. Smiling is easy to do, feels good, tells your brain you’re happy, and can be the one happy thing the receiver of your smile sees that day.  You can brighten up the lives of people around you with just a flash of your pearly whites.  With that kind of power comes great responsibility.  Use it, and use it often!

  1. Exercise Regularly

There are numerous benefits to exercise.  I’m sure I don’t have to convince you of that.  Stress relief, health benefits, etc.  But my personal favorite benefit is the release of endorphins.  They are natural pain and stress relievers, and they make you feel great.  I didn’t believe in the endorphin rush, or Runner’s High, as it’s commonly referred, until I started running.  Now I can’t get enough.

  1. Embrace Your Negativity

Some people swallow and repress the negative thoughts and feelings they have, thinking this will somehow make them happier.  Unfortunately, it always seems to come back, manifesting in stress, physical pain, or otherwise.  The truth about the negativity is that it’s necessary to understand and accept that sometimes bad things happen.  Sometimes you will be stressed.  Sometimes things will happen that you have no control over.  Understanding and accepting this will reduce the stress you feel from repression, allowing you to get back to the things that make you happy.

  1. Challenge Yourself

One of the greatest things you can do in life is to set the bar high and then achieve.  By challenging yourself in ways that are achievable, but require work, you continue to work hard and improve yourself, often times leading to the outcome of being satisfied not with the accomplishment, but with the progress that you’ve made simply by having the goal.  Set challenging goals, and then create realistic plans to achieve them.  Every achievement becomes another step on the staircase towards your greatest, happiest self.

  1. Volunteer Your Time

There is no quicker way to feel happy than to help someone else, especially someone in need of help.  Volunteering your time is addicting, not just because you’re helping people in need, but because you feel good doing it.  It’s a humbling way to honor humanity and be grateful for the blessings that you’ve received.  There’s tons of reasons for the good feelings associated with volunteering, but suffice it to say it’s a no-brainer for both quick and long-term happiness.

  1. Posture and Breathing

Sit up straight, pull your shoulders back, and take a deep breath.  Do it a few more times.  Feel that? Posture and breathing have a profound affect on your outlook on life.  In just a few moments, hunching and taking weak, shallow breaths can sap the life right out of you.  Focus on sitting up with your shoulder back and taking deep breaths as often as possible, and you’ll be happier throughout the day.

What did we miss?  What steps have you taken towards making happiness a habit? Tell us your habit in the comments below.

When you correct your posture, especially if you work at a desk all day, you’ll be rewarding yourself later in life. Back pain, stress etc. It all gets sorted.

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/13-surprising-ways-make-happiness-habit.html

HERE IS A GREAT ARTICLE THAT CAN STAND ALONE AND SPEAK BY ITSELF. NOTHING MORE THAT I CAN REALLY ADD OTHER THAN PLEASE READ AND USE IT !

From Psychology Today Magazine………

Fulfillment at Any Age

    How to remain productive and healthy into your later years
    by Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D.

Giving thanks: The benefits of gratitude

      Why gratitude is good for your mental health

We all like being thanked. It’s a great feeling to have someone, especially someone who doesn’t stand to gain, tell us that we made a difference in their lives. In the past few weeks, I’ve had the good fortune of receiving some heartfelt thank you notes from students, pausing as they got ready to leave campus for the summer, or perhaps for good, to take a moment and let me know that something I said or did proved helpful to them. I’ve also had the good fortune of having favors done for me by people who went out of their way to help me solve a problem, fix something, or in fortunately only one case- return a lost cellphone. Being thanked and having reason to thank others are two sides of the same gratefulness coin. Both exemplify the positive in human behavior and provide us with a positive charge that boosts our emotional balance.

On the surface it seems like gratitude has everything to recommend it. There are a few gratitude traps, though. Some people feel uncomfortable about being thanked. They get truly embarrassed, dismissing the thanker by insisting that “it was nothing” (though clearly the thanker felt otherwise). There are also some uncomfortable aspects about thank-yous when it comes to thank-you presents that are overly generous or could be interpreted as bribes.

If you’re at the receiving end of a thank-you, you may feel unsure about how to reciprocate. Does a thank-you present require a thank-you note? What about thanking someone who’s helped you? Do you reward a person who returns a lost item with cash or just allow your relieved face to serve as its own reward? Then there’s the guilt factor: What if you let a few weeks slip by without sending a thank-you note for a birthday gift? Does it look worse to send a belated thank-you note or just to forget the whole thing and hope the gift-giver won’t notice? Thank-you notes inspire their own particular forms of angst, as was pointed out in one particularly insightful Social Q’s column of the New York Times (for the record: this column is a treasure trove of psychological insight on quirky behaviors).

It might be reassuring, then, to learn that the expression of thanks can be its own reward. Being the recipient of a favor can also make the favor-giver (if there is such a word) feel good too. Everyone benefits when thanks are freely given and just as freely acknowledged. 

There are always exceptional circumstances involving acts of extreme altruism. Heroes are known as the people who put the needs of others above our own. These cases put in bold relief the fact that a hero doesn’t expect thank-you notes or little gift baskets as acknowledgement of his or her sacrifice.

Many real-life heroes also do not expect thank-yous. Yet, when we benefit from the labors that others put out for our sake, we feel internally driven to and want to express our gratitude. And that’s a good thing, in more ways than one.

Psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough point out that gratitude is the “forgotten factor” in happiness research. They point out the benefits of expressing gratitude as ranging from better physical health to improved mental alertness. People who express gratitude also are more likely to offer emotional support to others.

Expressing gratitude in your daily life might even have a protective effect on staving off certain forms of psychological disorders. In a review article published this past March (see below), researchers found that habitually focusing on and appreciating the positive aspects of life is related to a generally higher level of psychological well-being and a lower risk of certain forms of psychopathology.

Now how can you apply these ideas to your own life? Here are some suggestions to boost your own, shall we say, GQ’s (“gratitude quotient”):

1. If someone thanks you, accept the thanks graciously. Let the person know you appreciate being thanked. That’s all you need to do. Really.

2. If you find that difficult, think about why gratitude makes you uncomfortable. Do you not feel worthy of being thanked? In my study of personal fulfillment in midlife, I identified a subgroup of people whose own fulfillment was hampered by their lack of faith in their own worth. Chronic feelings of inadequacy can make it difficult for people to benefit from any thanks that come their way.

3. Look for small things to be grateful for. Not all acts of kindness have a capital “K.” A driver who lets you ease into a busy highway deserves a wave just as much as someone who holds open a door when you’re loaded down with packages. A smile will boost your GQ and make both of you feel better.

4. Don’t fret about gratitude infractions. If you forget to send a thank you note don’t worry about it and certainly don’t use elapsed time as an excuse to avoid the task altogether. Send a quick email and then get to the real thing. If you’re a chronic forgetter, though, you might try to figure out why. By the same token, if someone forgets to thank you, don’t ruminate over it, thereby raising your BP if not your GQ.

5. Keep your thank you’s short, sweet, and easy to write. One reason people procrastinate about writing thank you’s is that they want them to be original and not seem hasty, insincere, or ill conceived. This doesn’t mean the thank you should be one that is short enough to tweet but if you don’t build it up in your mind as having to be a magnum opus you’ll be less inclined to put it off. Whatever you do, don’t make excuses or lie about having sent a thank you that you never did (for more on lying and excuse-making, check out my previous post).

I’ll close by saying thanks in advance to anyone who chooses to add their comments to the discussion or wishes to forward the blog link. It’s the least I can do!

Follow me on Twitter @swhitbo for daily updates on psychology, health, and aging. Feel free to join my Facebook group, “Fulfillment at Any Age,” to discuss today’s blog, or to ask further questions about this posting. 

Copyright Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D. 2010

Frey Freyday-Beliefs

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. Belief creates the actual fact.-William James

– It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.-Muhammad Ali

One person with a belief is equal to ninety-nine who have only interests.-John Stuart Mill

– Envy comes from people’s ignorance of, or lack of belief in, their own gifts.-Jean Vanier

Nothing great has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstances. – Bruce Barton –

Realizing that our actions, feelings and behaviour are the result of our own images and beliefs gives us the level that psychology has always needed for changing personality.-Maxwell Maltz

It’s not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean.-Tony Robbins

– Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around.-Henry David Thoreau

– Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.-George Carlin

Words to Live By:

Beliefs – [ biˈlēf ] – Your beliefs are everything. Beliefs make up your personality, they create habits which lead to your lifestyle, your relationships, your career, etc. Beliefs can limit you or they can help you excel and grow. The meaning we assign to all sorts of things are related to beliefs. If you believe you’re smart, for instance, you will be more likely to act in a smart manner, make smart choices, and act according to that identity.
Bonus: Ted Talk – http://www.ted.com/talks/caroline_casey_looking_past_limits

Activist Caroline Casey tells the story of her extraordinary life, starting with a revelation (no spoilers). In a talk that challenges perceptions, Casey asks us all to move beyond the limits we may think we have.

3 ways to stick to your resolutions

Resolutions

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