Tag Archives: gratitude

Frey Freyday-Gratitude

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Gratitude – [grat-i-tood, -tyood] – the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful:

You can’t be grateful and angry simultaneously. You can’t be fearful and be grateful simultaneously. So gratitude is really the reset button.-Unknown

Most of us never stop to consider our blessings; rather, we spend the day only thinking about our problems. But since you have to be alive to have problems, be grateful for the opportunity to have them. Bernie Siegel –

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Gratitude – Give thanks for everything, big and small, good and bad.

As I look back over the past years, I’ve been downsized a few times, I’ve worked at places that were not fun, I’ve worked with people that were not ideal, and I’ve been at banks that were not very good about approving many loans.

Then I thought that I’m grateful right now; grateful to be working with nice people- I really like the team at my job, I am grateful for my family and friends, I am grateful for my health and such. I am grateful that 87 years ago today, my late father was born.

At this time of year, many of us have or know some young people that are graduating from something to another thing, and I’m grateful my youngest is moving from high school to college and I’ll soon be an ‘empty nester’. (I thought that was for old people.) I am grateful for all of that. Life isn’t perfect but I am grateful for the tough times and times like now, which seem to be good.

I know that this sort of thing has been covered in countless articles and blogs by others. In many ways we all know that giving thanks and showing gratitude makes sense and that we should do it, but many of us don’t consistently do it. It does work…..

Here is an exercise that I recently read, and something I don’t do often but hope to do more often…fyi….

“There are so many things that we take for granted. We live in a free country, we have food, shelter, education, safety, we have beauty in nature and in each other, we have so many people in this world that want to help, heal, give, teach and share. Look at your coffee cup in the morning. Someone made that cup, created it so that you could enjoy the coffee. Someone took great pain to package your coffee in a secure, healthy, clean, sanitary container. People worked years to improve the freshness and flavor.

Most of us have so many people that care for and about us….friends, family, co-workers – you’d be surprised who cares for you. Think about all of the people, strangers included, that somehow touch your life each and everyday. When we have what we call a ‘bad day’ we are often in a negative mindset or one of fear or scarcity. We are looking at, focusing on what we don’t have, what we lost, what we are lacking. It has been said that wherever there is appreciation, there will be duplication. It can be said that what we focus on expands – so if you are grateful for something, you will have more of it. If you have gratitude for challenges and ‘bad’ things in life, it helps to re-frame them. An experience that we could say is ‘bad’ can instead be thought of as experience, education, wisdom. We learned from the situation, didn’t we? We are wiser and stronger for making it through. Because of that experience, we are better people, and that’s worth being grateful. Think about it, we all have things in life that we may have considered ‘bad’ as they were happening to us. If you instead think that life is there happening for us rather than to us, and once we gain some perspective on it, we can see that that same event may in fact be a good thing for our life. When you look at a problem like that, it is no longer a ‘bad’ one. Gratitude helps us re-focus. We can’t be fearful if we’re grateful. We can’t be angry if we’re grateful. We can’t feel scarcity if we have gratitude.”

 

On this Memorial Day weekend, certainly I am glad for all those who have died while serving in the United States Armed Forces.

 

 

 

P.S. My older daughter is in Finland with a group, the Finnish word for gratitude is kiitollisuus

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

The Power of Gratefulness In Your Daily Life

The Power of Gratefulness In Your Daily Life by John Assaraf

http://blog.myneurogym.com/grateful-life/

‘Tis the Season for Giving Thanks…

The smell of turkey is in the air, and that can only mean that another year is coming to a close. Now is the time to take a moment and reflect. How did 2015 go for you? Did you achieve some personal and professional goals you set at the beginning of the year? Or, do you find yourself saying “if only I…”

It is easy to look back and focus on regrets, mistakes, and missed opportunities. However, a negative outlook on the events of the past year can set you up for failure in the next one. What if you concentrated on things from the last 12 months that you can be grateful for instead? You would be amazed at how it might change your whole perspective.

Being grateful may not come naturally to you. Some people have to make a conscious effort. It means pausing in the middle of a hectic life and giving thanks, verbally, internally, or even on paper, for the good things. It can be something big like your health, the love of a spouse or partner, or a fulfilling job.

 

But it can also be the little things. A sunset, a song on the radio, a green light… you would be amazed by the positive energy you create in your mind from being grateful about a small thing that you would normally ignore or overlook altogether.

Many studies have shown that making even a little effort on a daily basis can perpetuate positivity. A 2003 study that compared two groups, one that kept track weekly of things they were grateful for with one that only listed the things that bothered them, revealed that after 10 weeks, the first group enjoyed significantly greater life satisfaction than the other.

So how can you integrate gratefulness more into your daily life? First, start with the voice in your head. Make sure at least once a day you hear it say, “I’m grateful for…” no matter how big or small it is. Next, try on a weekly basis to write an email or letter to a friend, co-worker, or family member, thanking them for their help or generosity. Finally, you can simply say “thank you” to everyone! Whether it’s the barista, the bus driver, or the bagger at the supermarket, expressing your gratefulness with those simple two words is a great way to pay it forward – and put proven power into your own life.

 

HERE IS A GREAT ARTICLE THAT CAN STAND ALONE AND SPEAK BY ITSELF. NOTHING MORE THAT I CAN REALLY ADD OTHER THAN PLEASE READ AND USE IT !

From Psychology Today Magazine………

Fulfillment at Any Age

    How to remain productive and healthy into your later years
    by Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D.

Giving thanks: The benefits of gratitude

      Why gratitude is good for your mental health

We all like being thanked. It’s a great feeling to have someone, especially someone who doesn’t stand to gain, tell us that we made a difference in their lives. In the past few weeks, I’ve had the good fortune of receiving some heartfelt thank you notes from students, pausing as they got ready to leave campus for the summer, or perhaps for good, to take a moment and let me know that something I said or did proved helpful to them. I’ve also had the good fortune of having favors done for me by people who went out of their way to help me solve a problem, fix something, or in fortunately only one case- return a lost cellphone. Being thanked and having reason to thank others are two sides of the same gratefulness coin. Both exemplify the positive in human behavior and provide us with a positive charge that boosts our emotional balance.

On the surface it seems like gratitude has everything to recommend it. There are a few gratitude traps, though. Some people feel uncomfortable about being thanked. They get truly embarrassed, dismissing the thanker by insisting that “it was nothing” (though clearly the thanker felt otherwise). There are also some uncomfortable aspects about thank-yous when it comes to thank-you presents that are overly generous or could be interpreted as bribes.

If you’re at the receiving end of a thank-you, you may feel unsure about how to reciprocate. Does a thank-you present require a thank-you note? What about thanking someone who’s helped you? Do you reward a person who returns a lost item with cash or just allow your relieved face to serve as its own reward? Then there’s the guilt factor: What if you let a few weeks slip by without sending a thank-you note for a birthday gift? Does it look worse to send a belated thank-you note or just to forget the whole thing and hope the gift-giver won’t notice? Thank-you notes inspire their own particular forms of angst, as was pointed out in one particularly insightful Social Q’s column of the New York Times (for the record: this column is a treasure trove of psychological insight on quirky behaviors).

It might be reassuring, then, to learn that the expression of thanks can be its own reward. Being the recipient of a favor can also make the favor-giver (if there is such a word) feel good too. Everyone benefits when thanks are freely given and just as freely acknowledged. 

There are always exceptional circumstances involving acts of extreme altruism. Heroes are known as the people who put the needs of others above our own. These cases put in bold relief the fact that a hero doesn’t expect thank-you notes or little gift baskets as acknowledgement of his or her sacrifice.

Many real-life heroes also do not expect thank-yous. Yet, when we benefit from the labors that others put out for our sake, we feel internally driven to and want to express our gratitude. And that’s a good thing, in more ways than one.

Psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough point out that gratitude is the “forgotten factor” in happiness research. They point out the benefits of expressing gratitude as ranging from better physical health to improved mental alertness. People who express gratitude also are more likely to offer emotional support to others.

Expressing gratitude in your daily life might even have a protective effect on staving off certain forms of psychological disorders. In a review article published this past March (see below), researchers found that habitually focusing on and appreciating the positive aspects of life is related to a generally higher level of psychological well-being and a lower risk of certain forms of psychopathology.

Now how can you apply these ideas to your own life? Here are some suggestions to boost your own, shall we say, GQ’s (“gratitude quotient”):

1. If someone thanks you, accept the thanks graciously. Let the person know you appreciate being thanked. That’s all you need to do. Really.

2. If you find that difficult, think about why gratitude makes you uncomfortable. Do you not feel worthy of being thanked? In my study of personal fulfillment in midlife, I identified a subgroup of people whose own fulfillment was hampered by their lack of faith in their own worth. Chronic feelings of inadequacy can make it difficult for people to benefit from any thanks that come their way.

3. Look for small things to be grateful for. Not all acts of kindness have a capital “K.” A driver who lets you ease into a busy highway deserves a wave just as much as someone who holds open a door when you’re loaded down with packages. A smile will boost your GQ and make both of you feel better.

4. Don’t fret about gratitude infractions. If you forget to send a thank you note don’t worry about it and certainly don’t use elapsed time as an excuse to avoid the task altogether. Send a quick email and then get to the real thing. If you’re a chronic forgetter, though, you might try to figure out why. By the same token, if someone forgets to thank you, don’t ruminate over it, thereby raising your BP if not your GQ.

5. Keep your thank you’s short, sweet, and easy to write. One reason people procrastinate about writing thank you’s is that they want them to be original and not seem hasty, insincere, or ill conceived. This doesn’t mean the thank you should be one that is short enough to tweet but if you don’t build it up in your mind as having to be a magnum opus you’ll be less inclined to put it off. Whatever you do, don’t make excuses or lie about having sent a thank you that you never did (for more on lying and excuse-making, check out my previous post).

I’ll close by saying thanks in advance to anyone who chooses to add their comments to the discussion or wishes to forward the blog link. It’s the least I can do!

Follow me on Twitter @swhitbo for daily updates on psychology, health, and aging. Feel free to join my Facebook group, “Fulfillment at Any Age,” to discuss today’s blog, or to ask further questions about this posting. 

Copyright Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D. 2010

Rewire your brain to be happy…

Rewire your brain to be happy…

You can re-wire your brain to be happy by simply recalling 3 things you’re grateful for every day for 21 days.

-Shawn Achor

What Memorial Day means….

Hello all. I appreciate some of the comments, regardless what you think about my stuff. Feedback is good.

Memorial Day…we rememember those who fought for us and took care of us.

Those on the battle field, on the seas, in the air, giving their lives, enduring all sorts of things we’ll never know.

Those in the kitchen and behind the desks or on the shovels and hammers, giving their hearts.

This weekend I’ve been so lucky to with a few good friends …just to be there as myself. Friends mean so much and I’m very grateful for our friends. Encounters with my friends this weekend have reminded me what it is to let go, have faith, enjoy life. Some of them inspired me to do things on my own and do my own thing. They all reminded me how nice it is to be giving and hospitable.

I am so lucky and grateful for all of my close friends and the new ones.

With their hospitality this weekend I was able to relax, have fun, have a few drinks and enjoy things, thanks

Thanks to those new ‘friends’ reading this, maybe we can be friends someday.

Let’s remember all those loved ones in our lives that made it possible. Thanks

Do you practice the habit of proactive gratitude?

Do you practice Proactive Gratitude?
What is that?

Here is a video blog by Dan Sullivan that I think you will like.

(it is only about 3 minutes)

Click here to watch

Thanks

http://www.strategiccoach.com/enews/ci_gratitude20120608.html?cmpid=20120608_CoachInsider&sc_v1=email_html&s_et=&cid=%C3%AF%C2%BF%C2%BDContact%20Serial%C3%AF%C2%BF%C2%BD

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