Frey Freyday – feeling bad

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

 feel bad- Also, feel bad about. Experience regret, sadness, embarrassment, or a similar unpleasant emotion. For example,-

Nobody ever wants to really make someone feel bad. Patrick Wilson

When you feel bad on the inside, you wind up wanting to do things to make others feel bad. In contrast, when you feel happy on the inside, you want to do things to make others feel happy. Karen Salmansohn

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Feel Bad (don’t) – a saying that many of us use all the time that probably isn’t good at all.

So I hear this saying all the time, and I still say it too; “I feel bad for….”

Someone will see a friend sick, something sad on the news, an animal, a sad person, or any number of things like that and we’ll say “I feel bad for them”.

Or perhaps you did or said something – or didn’t – and there is some negative result to a person and you say “I feel bad that this happened”. Sometimes it is just life happening to each of us and we express the same sentiment, “I feel bad for you”.

Let’s look at the language. So we could be having a good day or a bad day – and they you see this person/animal/whatever and you say “I feel bad for….” –How do you think that you’ll feel for a period of time? Bad, right?

While I know that it is important to be compassionate for others, to care for them, to be concerned for them – I want to also and it is necessary and important to all of us – but think about it – you feeling bad won’t help that person/animal/situation!

Actually you feeling bad, might not help, it might hurt. Let’s think about it. Someone’s in the hospital, let’s say; You ‘feel bad for them’. Does it help them recover? No. It actually could make you and/or them feel sadder/more depressed. Feeling sad or bad for someone does not help them.

Think of when someone ‘felt bad’ for you. You knew they cared, sure, but it really didn’t help much otherwise, right? It may have even made you feel sad/bad/pitied – certainly not empowered.

When we’re saying that phrase, “I feel bad”, even in self-talk, it tells our mind and body to feel bad. Not helpful in any case – and it also puts you in a worse state of mind to help that person!

So what to do? Next time you say “I feel bad”, don’t beat yourself up – just be aware, catch yourself and think – what I can do help them? Is there actually something that I can do/say to help this person? How can I show them that I care without feeling bad? What compassionate thing can I do or say that can improve the situation? Sometimes it is just saying, “I care.”

You can care about someone or something even without ‘feeling bad’ for them.

Think of a new and different way to express your care and compassion.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

BONUS:

Words as Self-Sabotage

Stop inflicting damage on yourself with the words you use. Writer, Rishawn Biddle, shares 3 simple steps to stop sabotaging yourself with your words, and how to prime yourself for success.

Read Article »

 

The Science of Words

Why are words and self-talk so powerful? How can they help lead better lives? Writer, Erin Wildermuth, shows you the surprising benefits of self-talk and how they’re backed by science.

Read Article »

Speak Well of Your Spouse

The health of your marriage affects the impact of your leadership. So it’s important to speak well of your spouse. In this article, Michael reveals 5 reasons why it’s important to create a habit of speaking well about your spouse, and how it will affect your leadership.

 

Read Article

 

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Retirement – you gotta think about it

Let’s face it, no one really likes to discuss retirement.

Maybe you don’t even want to ‘retire’ but you probably want to be able to have choices and still enjoy a certain lifestyle – or maybe leave a legacy for kids, or help a charity, or other things.

We all need to spend more time thinking about it. But where to start?

  • You gotta start somewhere – and now!

Here are two good, easy to understand, step by step articles you should check out.

https://www.fool.com/retirement/index.aspx

and

https://www.fool.com/retirement/2016/12/19/the-perfect-retirement-strategy-for-40-somethings.aspx  

(other age groups also available)

Take action now!

 

Frey Freyday- Adaptation

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Adaptation – [ad-uh p-tey-shuh n] – usually an unconscious modification of individual and social activity in adjustment to cultural surroundings.

Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change. –Stephen Hawking


All of us need to begin to think in terms of our own inner strengths, our resilience and resourcefulness, our capacity to adapt and to rely upon ourselves and our families.-Steven Pressfield


Enjoying success requires the ability to adapt. Only by being open to change will you have a true opportunity to get the most from your talent.-Nolan Ryan


A true champion can adapt to anything.-Floyd Mayweather, Jr.

Fortunately for me, my parents were not poetic. They were pragmatic. They understood that ignorance and fear were but matters of the mind, and the mind is adaptable. They believed that I should grow up to enjoy the same freedoms and responsibilities as everyone else. –Daniel Kish (a blind man that ‘sees’ by clicking with his tongue)


We are a party of innovation. We do not reject our traditions, but we are willing to adapt to changing circumstances, when change we must. We are willing to suffer the discomfort of change in order to achieve a better future.-Barbara Jordan


Adapt or perish, now as ever, is nature’s inexorable imperative.-H. G. Wells

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Adaptation – How we respond and change to our situation, environment, those around us, things ‘happening to us’, etc. Some people are flexible and can bend like the palm tree, which bounces back. Some people are rigid like a hardwood tree – strong, but at some point, it can break and crack apart.

Organisms face a succession of environmental challenges as they grow and develop and are equipped with an adaptive plasticity.

 So we all face challenges, and we all face the dark unknown, which is endemic to most challenges, which is what most of us fear. But we all have brains that activate to allow us to navigate the journey through these challenges. We have the power to adapt. Sometimes it is a little scary or outside of our comfort zone.

We face a challenge. Something happens. How we react and how we adapt is up to us. What you do next separates you from someone else.

Adaptation is necessary in relationships too. A lot of us have been conditioned to think that once we find the person who we believe is perfect for us, then the hard work is over. Everything should be smooth sailing from that point on. After all, if they are perfect for us, shouldn’t everything just fall into place? But that couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, once you find the partner you are ready to commit to, that’s when the real work begins. And any healthy relationship will require a certain amount of flexibility from each partner. Because change is inevitable. And in order for a relationship to grow and prosper, it is critical that you and your partner be able to adapt to the changes, finding your way through the good and the bad together.

Sometimes adaptation leads to creativity and better solutions. Example: Kevin Systerom invented an app called Burbn, however, it was not exactly a hit with the users. The app was just too complicated. But Systrom was undaunted. He brought on another programmer and together, the pair determined that while users were not utilizing Burbn’s check-in features, they were using the app’s photo-sharing features. And after months of tweaking and experimenting, Systrom and Krieger released a pared down version of Burbn that was essentially a simple photo-sharing app. They called it Instagram. So they simplified it, made it interesting/useful/successful by adapting.

Evolution is adaptation – it is a trait with a current functional role in the life of an organism that is maintained and evolved by means of natural selection. Therefore in some cases, adaptation can be do or die. If we don’t adapt and eat in a healthier manner, maybe we’ll die from heart disease or diabetes. If we don’t stop smoking, we may die earlier, right? If we don’t adapt to a compromise that works, our relationship may die. If we don’t adapt to our job or career, that opportunity may die.

In the world of psychology, those who more easily adapt are typically happier. The adaptation process is a critical part of cognitive development. Through the adaptive processes of assimilation and accommodation, people are able to take in new information, form new ideas or change existing ones, and adopt new behaviors that make them better prepared to deal with the world around them. This is something that can happen unconsciously but also something we can choose to do – we can be open to other ideas, approach new things in a reasonable manner and decide if the new information might help us.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

BONUS: Ted Talk Summaries @ Adaptation

http://www.npr.org/programs/ted-radio-hour/455904076/adaptation?showDate=2015-11-20 – Humans adapt to physical and creative challenges in remarkable ways. How do we do it, and what happens when we can’t? In this episode, TED speakers share inspiring stories about our capacity to adapt.

 

Frey Freyday – Questions

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

question-[kwes-chuh n] –a matter for discussion or under discussion; a matter for investigation. to dispute; challenge; to explore, investigate, ponder

–(This is a favorite one of mine and I believe one of the things that have helped me be happier and do better in life)

New Year’s Day. A fresh start. A new chapter in life waiting to be written. New questions to be asked, embraced, and loved. Answers to be discovered and then lived in this transformative year of delight and self-discovery. Today carve out a quiet interlude for yourself in which to dream, pen in hand. Only dreams give birth to change.-Sarah Ban Breathnach

Culture makes people understand each other better. And if they understand each other better in their soul, it is easier to overcome the economic and political barriers. But first they have to understand that their neighbour is, in the end, just like them, with the same problems, the same questions.-Paulo Coelho

Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone’s face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions. I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come.-Henri Nouwen

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.-Voltaire

– Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions – Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead.-Chanakya

– To raise new questions, new possibilities, to regard old problems from a new angle, requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science.-Albert Einstein

– I don’t pretend we have all the answers. But the questions are certainly worth thinking about.-Arthur C. Clarke

– The wise man doesn’t give the right answers, he poses the right questions.-Claude Levi-Strauss

Word to Live By:

QUESTIONS- Something you ask yourself each day, everyday, all day, whether you realize it or not. These questions affect your focus, they ‘prime” you, and shape your perspective. You can ask weak questions, empowering questions, sad questions, happy questions. Why not ask good ones?

The words you speak can either speed up your success or halt them. In this issue, you’ll discover how to recognize the power of your words, and how to use them to produce the outcomes you want…. Michael Hyatt

Are you a leader somewhere or in some way? As a leader, how aware are you of the words you’re using to build your organization? If you’re not careful, the words you use can hurt your organization’s culture.

The quality of your life is not necessarily based on the quality of your circumstances, it is based upon our perception – and the questions (and self-talk) we ask each day.

Here is a good question for when you have a ‘bad day’:

“What’s great about this situation you’re not seeing right now?”

Your brain is very much like a computer. When you ask a question, you will get a response. Submit negative questions and you will get negative responses.

We all ask ourselves questions each and every day, all day, whether we realize it or not. They say we have up to 60,000 thoughts running through our minds each day, and many of these are questions. Are they good questions? Are they useful? Do they empower us?

When we ask “What is wrong with me?” or “What can’t I be ___?” or “Why am I lazy?” or “Why do I struggle?” – these questions almost never help us. Remember, part of your brain is like a computer. It is a wonderful problem solving organ/tool. We can ponder on a problem, sleep on it, and when we least expect it – maybe in the shower, while driving, often in some relaxed state of mind, boom- the answer pops into our conscious mind.

So when you ask your unconscious something, it goes out and looks for the answer. When you ask yourself, “Why can’t I “ …do something OR “Why do I struggle?” your brain will search for an answer or answers. So why don’t you change those around and ask empowering questions instead?

 

  • So …..we really need to catch ourselves each and every day -…..interrupt the pattern…..stop the disempowering thoughts and questions….then replace it with an empowering question…….

“Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.”  – Tony Robbins

  1. What is something I can do for someone else today?
  2. What is something I can do to add value to the world today?
  3. What is something that I have to offer other people?
  4. Why am I happy?
  5. What do I enjoy about this…?

Parting questions, for fun…..

Why do you think that “Frey Freyday” is so good? Why do you want to email a great comment?

Why do you want to tell your friend about this email series?

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

BONUS:

Words as Self-Sabotage

Stop inflicting damage on yourself with the words you use. Writer, Rishawn Biddle, shares 3 simple steps to stop sabotaging yourself with your words, and how to prime yourself for success.

Read Article »

 

The Science of Words

Why are words and self-talk so powerful? How can they help lead better lives? Writer, Erin Wildermuth, shows you the surprising benefits of self-talk and how they’re backed by science.

Read Article »

Speak Well of Your Spouse

The health of your marriage affects the impact of your leadership. So it’s important to speak well of your spouse. In this article, Michael reveals 5 reasons why it’s important to create a habit of speaking well about your spouse, and how it will affect your leadership.

 

Read Article

Frey Freyday – Tolerance

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Tolerance – [ˈtäl(ə)rəns]- the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.

The highest result of education is tolerance. Helen Keller

The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority. Ralph W. Sockman –

I think more tolerance, more people having more access to a chance to be literate, and a chance to stay healthy makes for a more peaceful planet. Henry Rollins –

What is tolerance? It is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other’s folly – that is the first law of nature. Voltaire –

I’ve lived the American Dream and had a great life. Immigration and religion and racial tolerance are the foundation of this country. Shahid Khan –

When you feel peaceful and successful, you want to extend and export that peace and love. The violence, hatred, prejudice, and judgment in our world suggest that we have miles to go to reach a world of inner and outer peace. Wayne Dyer

We must practice universal toleration or the right of every man to abide by his own faith and beliefs without interference or fearing retaliation or to the right to hold views that are not judged unjustly simple because they differ from another. Tolerance could be defined as reason and understanding tempered by kindness and respect.

Word to Live By:

Tolerance – something our world needs a little more of…

There are lots of strong opinions today….on both sides and on many issues. It is easy for us all to get emotional, defensive, angry, etc. We need to take a breath. We can benefit from understanding our brothers and sisters out there.

Sometimes I see that we aren’t listening to each other much. We can use more compassion, kindness, respect, civility and tolerance.

I believe each of us can be more open and respectful to each other’s ideas, beliefs and thoughts. We would get along better and accomplish more if we did.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

 

BONUS: TED TALK-For more tolerance, we need more … tourism?

https://www.ted.com/talks/aziz_abu_sarah_for_more_tolerance_we_need_more_tourism

Aziz Abu Sarah is a Palestinian activist with an unusual approach to peace-keeping: Be a tourist. The TED Fellow shows how simple interactions with people in different cultures can erode decades of hate. He starts with Palestinians visiting Israelis and moves beyond …

Frey Freyday – Circumstance

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

cir·cum·stance – [ˈsərkəmˌstans, ˈsərkəmstəns] a fact or condition connected with or relevant to an event or action.

I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition. Martha Washington  –

Things present themselves to you, and it’s how you choose to deal with them that reveals who you are. We all say a lot of things, don’t we, about who we are and how we think. But in the end it’s your actions, how you respond to circumstance that reveals your character. Cate Blanchett  –

He is happy whom circumstances suit his temper; but he Is more excellent who suits his temper to any circumstance. David Hume  –

You can have nothing and be sad, or you can have nothing and be, like, positive and look at it in a good way and try to make your circumstance better. Slim Jimmy  –

Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret. Don Miguel Ruiz  –

Circumstance has no value. It is how one relates to a situation that has value. All true meaning resides in the personal relationship to a phenomenon… what it means to you. Christopher McCandless

Our experience of many life circumstances is a function of our personal perspective and not the circumstance itself. Unknown  –

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Circumstance – You are not your circumstances.

People, myself included sometimes, worry. They worry about their circumstances.

When we worry, and worry over and over, you’re saying “I’m going to worry about XYZ and keep the thoughts and keep the worry and I’m not going to step back from those worried thoughts, …I am the thinker of my thoughts and I manage and control those those thoughts, yet I still choose to worry…..”

Most people worry, worry, worry each and every day about their circumstances; past, present, future, real or otherwise.

Essentially when this happens, someone is saying ‘I’m not powerful enough to even choose my own thoughts, but that the thoughts choose me.’ Worry comes to me and I can’t do anything about this.

“You are not your circumstances. Happiness is never based on circumstances.” -Jim Fortin

Think about this – this happens to everyone in some way or another:

When things in life go the way we want them to go, we probably are happy. When they don’t go how we want them to go, we are unhappy – we are also often angry, mean, tense, short with others, distracted, judgmental, grumpy, and it affects you, your work, your relationships, your health. Being unhappy is not good for your health, stress can cause illness and disease. Obviously an unhappy person is not going to be as good as a happy person in relationships and at work. Guess what? When you’re unhappy, you actually get even less of what you want, so it compounds. And again, you’re unhappy!

It is a catch-22, self-fulfilling prophesy.

You can’t let the external world affect you and your happiness. Happiness comes from the inside out, regardless of your circumstances!

Also, many of us say, “when I get XYZ (job/raise/relationship/house/car/etc.) I will be happy”. Most of us think circumstances will make us happy. The reverse is true!

Happiness creates/attracts better circumstances.

Money doesn’t make a happy life, a happy life makes more money.

I personally have seen this in my own life. I believe this stuff is true.

Be happy everyday.

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

Freyday/Words to Live By- THE BOOK!

https://amzn.to/2Iq7rM4WTLB book imageDo you enjoy the Words to Live By and/or Frey Freyday?

Maybe you will also like the book!

Now available on Amazon and many other retailers, soft or hardcover, WORDS TO LIVE BY in now in print!

https://amzn.to/2Iq7rM4

 

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