What if

How would you act and think and treat others if you had everything you wanted? What if you acted that way today?

Frey Freyday – Certainty

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

cer·tain·ty-[ˈsərtntē]-NOUN-firm conviction that something is the case:

The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers.-Erich Fromm

The demand for certainty is one which is natural to man, but is nevertheless an intellectual vice.-Bertrand Russell

One must verify or expel his doubts, and convert them into the certainty of Yes or No.-Thomas Carlyle

Although our intellect always longs for clarity and certainty, our nature often finds uncertainty fascinating.-Carl von Clausewitz

In order to accomplish anything, we need a sense of certainty. Our references help us to build this important emotional state. However, if we have no experience in doing something, how can we be certain about it? Realize you’re not limited to your actual experience: your imagination has unlimited references to support you. – Tony Robbins

– 

There is no certainty; there is only adventure.-Roberto Assagioli

Certainty is the mother of quiet and repose, and uncertainty the cause of variance and contentions.-Edward Coke

You should have certainty in what you do. ‘Faith’ and ‘trust’ are words that put the power in the hands of an outside force that we are meant to rely on – whether it is God or a person or the universe. Certainty puts the power back in our hands.-Yehuda Berg

If you develop the absolute sense of certainty that powerful beliefs provide, then you can get yourself to accomplish virtually anything, including those things that other people are certain are impossible.-William Lyon Phelps

Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything. It’s certainty.-Stephen Colbert

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Certainty. Do you recall the last time that you were certain about something….and you knew it was right, and you were right? Maybe it was at work, maybe it was with your family or a relationship – for different people it is different – it may have come from your head, or maybe your heart…..but you felt Certain.

When you meet someone that has ‘certainty’, you can tell right? Often the person that is most certain is most influential in the situation. Certainty is much like confidence. It comes across in someone’s way of acting, their attitude and words.

Think about a situation where you felt certain. Picture it in your mind. How did you feel? Feel now how you were when you were certain. Stand up. Go ahead and stand up…….feel certain. ….really certain. There is a calmness, coolness about it perhaps? You feel confident. You probably feel relaxed – although energized too. What is your posture and physiology like?

Stand as if you were certain! Are your shoulders sagging or are you standing tall? How is your breathing?

Now stand as if you are Absolutely Certain! How would you stand? Breathe? What is your posture, your physiology? What is your appearance? How are you talking? How are you holding your head?

Certainty is achieved from our posture, physiology, and attitude.- your state of mind, your state of your body. You own the situation, right? You own the moment.

Tony Robbins has a list of what he calls the SIX HUMAN NEEDS. Certainty/Comfort, Variety, Significance, Connection/Love, Growth, and Contribution.

Tony discusses Certainty this way – We all want comfort, right? And much of this comfort comes from certainty. Of course there is no ABSOLUTE certainty, but we want certainty the car will start, the water will flow from the tap when we turn it on and the currency we use will hold its value. We search for certainty in other parts of our life. At one time there appeared to be certainty in some industries and jobs.

Sometimes I find certainty in other ways…..I don’t know who told me once but they told me ‘Nothing in life is permanent, no problem is permanent, it is passing; your Soul is permanent. You are permanent.  Nothing is so inescapable that you can’t move on….”

Knowing that ‘this too shall pass’ helps me ‘shake off’ something bad and I feel a little relieved, calmer, and more certain. Look at the big picture. Look at other – other people have recovered from this and worse. I also think about the good things in my life. I focus on what is working and I feel more certain. I look back in my life and recall how I overcame other challenges, I look at my successes, I look at my loved ones and support network. We are not alone. I personally believe in a Creator that is benevolent. I don’t pretend to understand or label but I believe in something.

We all have this power, this source, this strength inside of each of us. We’ve all felt it from time to time in our lives. It often feels like the ‘real person’, the person at the core of ourselves. When we access this part of us, we operate from a foundation of certainty, don’t we? But it does take a moment for each of us to access it  – being calm, focused, even meditation….. but the point is that YOU can access the certainty inside. You can reach in and grab it – you don’t have to look outside.

Extraordinary people bring certainty into uncertain environments. Whether it be in sports, business, or even being a great parent, in times of uncertainty people are drawn to those who’ve somehow found a way to find an internal certainty that can guide them. That certainty is not that you have all the answers, but rather that there’s certainty inside you that, together with your loved ones, you can find the answer and move forward.

Lastly, having a Vision in mind is also key. If you have that END IN MIND – the dream, the vision of what you want, if you spend time visualizing it and really feeling it – feeling as if it is already happening NOW, then you will be able to access certainty. If you know where you’re going and you know that you’re not going to give up until you get there, then it’s OK when you encounter big and little challenges in life. You’re certain that you’ll reach the end and you’re certain things are working out. The path may be not as you expected but no path it.

Focus on asking the right questions to yourself and focus on what you say to yourself. Are your words and self-talk building up or breaking down certainty in you?

Like you, I’ve had successes and also been in tough jambs. There were times when I thought my life was over financially and I was embarrassed, stressed, whatever. But as I look back, in the big picture, that was just part of the journey. Those things passed. Other things will pass, I am certain of it! My real friends are still around. That ‘real Jim’ is still inside me. Struggles bring strength. Strength brings certainty.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

frey_freydays

BONUS

TED Talk-Why we do what we do

https://www.ted.com/talks/tony_robbins_asks_why_we_do_what_we_do

Frey Freyday – Disappointment

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

dis·ap·point·ment-disəˈpointmənt]-the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations:

We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment. Jim Rohn

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope. Martin Luther King, Jr.

There’s always failure. And there’s always disappointment. And there’s always loss. But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums. Michael J. Fox

If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment. Henry David Thoreau

Living is strife and torment, disappointment and love and sacrifice, golden sunsets and black storms. I said that some time ago, and today I do not think I would add one word. Laurence Olivier

The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality. Conan O’Brien

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.  H. Jackson Brown Jr.

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Disappointment –  Every disappointment brings an opportunity to learn. It also means that you’re closer to your goal.

If you look at the definition at the very top, disappointment can be about expectations. Did you set correct or accurate expectations? Did you really put in the time/effort to meet your expectations? Did you communicate your expectations to the other person in the scenario? These and all sorts of other questions might help us avoid expectations.

But sometimes we can’t avoid it. That’s OK, that’s part of life. Feel the emotion – accept the feeling as valid.

I remember not getting a job where it seemed many people liked me and believed in me. I was really interested in the job and I wanted it. I painted a vision in my mind. I had great expectations.

Then it didn’t happen. I felt it, and that’s OK. But then I put it in perspective. People still thought good things about me and now I actually knew a lot more good things because of the experience, I met knew people. I still had a job and I liked it, it was a good job. I still have the same great family, friends and life.

I also remembered one time when I was unemployed, and I thought of the many people that don’t have a job, or at least a good one, and would love my job or life.

In an article on the Chopra Center’s website, Tamara Lechner says, “Many people choose disappointment as a way of motivating themselves to do something different next time. The power of this negative emotional charge might be the push you need to dig deeper, work harder, or try again.” She also states that “Avoid thinking limiting thoughts like, “things never work out” or “this always happens to me.” So true. Nothing lasts forever. This too shall pass.

Disappointment can motivate us and help move us to make life better.

Disappointment is simply a ‘not now’, not a ‘never’. When you get a rejection, you don’t stop, you keep going. A ‘no’ means that you are one step closer to a ‘yes’.

Having the feeling of disappointment is a good thing, it shows that you know what your goal is, shows that you know what you want. Sometimes it can even wake you up and either remind you – or show you for the first time what you want.

Lastly, if you practice gratitude – if you’re really being grateful for life, or something or someone, you can’t feel disappointment. So next time you feel disappointed, take a moment and start with all the people, things-big and small, in your life that you are grateful for – and really get into it. The disappointment fades.

Likewise, if you’re feeling disappointed, go volunteer at a charity. Go do something for someone else. When you give, when you put your focus on other’s needs and when you see other’s needs, disappointment fades.

Remember that disappointment can drive us forward, or it can defeat us.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

 

BONUS

10 TED Talks to help you shake off disappointment and rejection

http://www.ted.com/playlists/234/talks_to_help_you_shake_off_re

What I tell my kids everyday

from the blog of Peter Diamandis

 peter@diamandis.com

I have two twin boys heading into kindergarten this year.

I’m always thinking about what education will be like for them over the next 10 to 20 years as artificial intelligence, virtual reality, and global connectivity change the way we access and manipulate knowledge.

Will college even exist in the next 10 to 20 years?

Will it be relevant?

I live two blocks from my children’s school, and when I am in town, one of my most precious moments is walking them to school in the morning.

During the walk, I ask them what questions they have of me. The topics range from plants to black holes.

I relish and admire their questions.

When I drop them off, the last thing I say to them is, “Ask good questions today.”

Why? We are heading toward a world of a trillion sensors and ubiquitous AI — a world where, a decade from now, we will all have some variant of JARVIS from Iron Man.

In that world, you’ll be able to know anything you want, anytime you want. So the quality of the questions you learn to ask will be more important than memorized knowledge.

In my humble opinion, helping your kids to think critically and to ask great questions is the most important lesson you can teach them.

The future of education and training, specifically for a rapidly changing world, is an area I’m spending more and more time on — and it will be a focus for my Abundance 360 CEO Mastermind in 2017/18.

Interested in Joining Me? (two options)

A360 Executive Mastermind: This is the sort of conversation I explore at my Executive Mastermind group called
Abundance 360.

The program is highly selective, for 360 abundance- and exponentially minded CEOs (running $10M to $10B companies).

If you’d like to be considered, apply here.

Share this with your friends, especially if they are interested in any of the areas outlined above.

A360 Digital Mastermind: I’ve also created a Digital/Online Community of bold, abundance-minded entrepreneurs called
Abundance 360 Digital (A360D).

A360D is my ‘onramp’ for exponential entrepreneurs – those who want to get involved and play at a higher level.

Click here to learn more
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P.P.S. My dear friend Dan Sullivan and I have a podcast called Exponential Wisdom. Our conversations focus on the exponential technologies creating abundance, the human-technology collaboration, and entrepreneurship. Head here to listen and subscribe:

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Frey Freyday – the Past

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Past-[past]- gone by in time and no longer existing:

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. Buddha

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. John F. Kennedy

I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past. Thomas Jefferson

We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future. George Bernard Shaw

I’ve come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy. Tony Robbins

You are always free to change your mind and choose a different future, or a different past. Richard Bach

WORD TO LIVE BY:

PAST – the past does not equal the future.

Did you ever listen to someone that has a story about the past? Specifically a story with sadness, anger, loss, rejection, or failure? Maybe they keep talking about something that happened in the past and the emotions and turmoil tied to that past. Did you ever notice how the anger, resentment, sadness, hurt, or other emotions are really present when they talk about the past?

We all do it from time to time.

I certainly talked about one challenging year in that way for a long time. I lost both parents, lost other relatives, lost a job all in a short time frame. It was painful, sad, and there was anger, and other emotions. There is nothing wrong with feeling any of these emotions. There is nothing wrong with grief, sadness, anger, etc. – we must feel. There are lessons from our past. Our feelings are valid.

However, we can get stuck in the past. I know that I did for quite some time. I kept referencing that story. I stayed in the sad/angry emotions. I couldn’t see ahead because I was looking backwards. I couldn’t feel good stuff because I was feeling bad stuff. Quite frankly, after some point, it was not useful or helpful in any way to feel that way or linger on the past.

I had not been able to move ahead, grow, progress until I let go of some of the emotions and feelings about the past. I had to. In some ways, although unintentionally, I was using the past as an excuse. In so many words, I was essentially saying, ‘I can’t move on because of my past.’

I also beat myself up in some ways. I could have/should have/would have done things differently. I failed here, I didn’t do that, I did that in a wrong way – this definitely never helps. I had to be a friend to myself.

So I literally tried to release and let go. I re-framed the past. I thought of my past as something that strengthened me.

By asking myself better questions and thinking of ways to ‘use my past experiences to benefit me’, I came to believe that all my past losses, challenges, lost opportunities, rejections  and frustration were actually helping me and giving me new and better understandings that gave me a maturity, wisdom and ability that I did not have before. I made it through. I was stronger, I am stronger. I now have the ability to create a new level of life. Without the challenges of the past, I would not grow as fast as I have.

I also had a vision for the future and I tried to define it clearly and with emotion. I thought of that vision as already having happened  – in other words, I thought of how I wanted my life to be like in the short term future, and then thought of it as if it had already happened – like I was looking back on my new better life in the past. Then I looked at what can I do today to work towards that, even if a little thing. It worked.

The past is still there. I no longer get hung up on it. I don’t fight the sadness or grief but I certainly don’t linger there. While I wish my loved ones were still here and I definitely miss them, in some ways I am grateful for all that has happened in my past in some way.

I can tell you from my own experiences, more than once, that the only thing that’s necessary for this to work is to begin to believe that it is possible to move on, grow, change, and improve despite your past. The past doesn’t matter. So many people have overcome similar things and more. Whatever happened in the past, or whatever didn’t work out for you in the past has nothing to do with what you can or will do today or tomorrow. The choice and action that you take now will determine your future, it is that simple. It may not always be simple or without apprehension but growth is like that.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

BONUS:

Bible Verses for letting go of the past – http://www.bible-knowledge.com/scripture-verses-letting-go-past/

Multiple articles about letting go of the past- http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/letting-go-of-the-past/

 

A quick thought for the day

 re-blogged from tut.com

If you could actually stand in someone else’s shoes,  to hear what they hear, see what they see, and feel what they feel, you would honestly wonder what planet they live on and be totally blown away by how different their “reality” is from yours.

You’d also never, in a million years, be quick to judge again.

Just sayin’ –
    The Universe
Www.tut.com 

Frey Freyday – Goodbyes

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Goodbye-farewell (a conventional expression used at parting)

Saying goodbye doesn’t mean anything. It’s the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it. Trey Parker

It’s time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad and I’d much rather say hello. Hello to a new adventure. Ernie Harwell

I have to say goodbye to things in order to take on bigger things that I’ve always wanted to do. Unknown

You and I will meet again, When we’re least expecting it, One day in some far off place, I will recognize your face, I won’t say goodbye my friend, For you and I will meet again. Tom Petty

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Good bye –

  1. Sometimes you need to say goodbye to something in order to grow, move on, heal or be happy.

Put simply, sometimes we hold on to memories, anger, sadness, hurt, and other negative things too long and we can’t really move on until we say goodbye to the feelings or experience. Sometimes we get complacent or too comfortable and we can’t grow unless we say goodbye to our comfort zone. Sometimes we need to say goodbye to part of our lives, even part of ourselves to grow as a person.

  1. Eventually we all have to say goodbye to someone we love. What will you do or say in the meantime?

If your parents or an older relative is still around, are there things that you’d really like to ask them? My parents both died rather suddenly and there were many questions that I wanted to ask them. I think they would have enjoyed answering them, and I know I would have gained a lot of wisdom and perspective.

What if you wrote someone or sat down and told them how you feel before it was too late?

What if you asked them questions about their lives and their perspectives now when you have the chance?

Maybe you have a loved one who inspired you and you should tell them! Maybe you should go and take them out and do that thing now while you both can.

Here are some possible questions to ask:

  • What did they learn when they were young in adolescence?
  • Where were they when JFK got shot? What did they think?
  • How did their mother or father influence them?
  • What was their of your biggest challenges in life?
  • How did their overcome difficult times in their life?
  • What did they learn from their parents?
  • What did their grandparents want them to carry on?
  • What was one of their biggest life lessons?
  • What do your loved ones want you to know after they’re gone?
  • What do they want your brothers or sisters to know after they’re gone?
  • What values do they want to teach?
  • What do they want you to remember when the times are dark?

Honor the people in your life. There are lots of ways to honor someone. If they’re still with you, sometimes it can be as simple as calling them, taking them out to lunch, sitting them down, looking them directly in the eye and saying.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

 

BONUS:

http://brendonburchard.tumblr.com/post/98560312858/interview-your-loved-ones-before-theyre-gone

If you have loved ones who you’ve lost or you have people in your life right now who you just admire greatly, who are helping you out, who are influencing you in positive ways, how do you honor people?

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