Frey Freyday-Grit

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

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I can’t think of anyone I admire who isn’t fuelled by self-doubt. It’s an essential ingredient. It’s the grit in the oyster. –Richard Eyre

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It was proposed that individuals who possess a drive to tirelessly work through challenges, failures, and adversity to achieve set goals and are uniquely positioned to reach higher achievements than others who lack similar stamina. – Angela Duckworth

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WORD TO LIVE BY:

GRIT – courage and resolve; strength of character.

 

In our day to day world, whether it is simply something with our job, our health, the economy, a loved one’s challenge – we all face different forms of adversity, failures, challenges, resistance, etc. It happens to all of us in different ways.

We can choose to step back and just avoid the challenge/resistance/effort needed, or we can gather up our grit and continue towards our goals.

So many people have good ideas, intelligence, good intentions, etc. So many people are created and gifted. But that alone doesn’t matter.

Grit. This is the thing that keeps you going back. We go back and find a different way. We learn from our mistakes. We do better, smarter, harder. We preserve. We keep swinging.

Humans do it all the time. The U.S. has a spirit of grit, the country was built on it. There is grit at the family level; parents trying to do better. Individuals trying to succeed, give back, grow, contribute, help others and follow their dreams. One step at a time, even if you just got pushed back 3 steps.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

TED TALK:

Leaving a high-flying job in consulting, Angela Lee Duckworth took a job teaching math to seventh graders in a New York public school. She quickly realized that IQ wasn’t the only thing separating the successful students from those who struggled. Here, she explains her theory of “grit” as a predictor of success.

http://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_the_key_to_success_grit

Frey Freyday – Agape Love

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Agape, the love of each one of us for the other, from the closest to the furthest, is in fact the only way that Jesus has given us to find the way of salvation and of the Beatitudes. Pope Francis
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WORD TO LIVE BY:

Agape Love – a universal, unconditional love that transcends and persists regardless of circumstance. It goes beyond just the emotions to the extent of seeking the best for others.

A few years ago my oldest daughter went to be a mentor at a camp. She came back with some great experiences and lessons – some of which I benefited. While I heard the term before, my daughter was excited to tell us about and discuss ‘Agape love’.

She learned about how Agape love is different from romantic love, even slightly different from brotherly love. It is an altruistic form of love, “the highest form of love, charity”

Again, did I learn that before? Yes. Do I think about that or apply that to my life? Not nearly often enough.

At camp she mentored a younger person and helped her overcome some fears. Their goals and tasks at the camp were to help, support and show Agape love to their mentees. It was a great experience for them all. Consequently, when she helped the younger mentee with her fears, it helped my daughter work through some of her own fears.

In the media and world today, it is easy to get bombarded with many thoughts that are contrary to Agape love. We need more Agape love in this world. The first step is to be aware, then share it, then introduce it into daily life, use it and set an example.

Some examples include:

• Chiaune Sugihara-the Japanese envoy to Germany during WW2, who helped thousands of Jews escape Nazi Germany.
• The Ten Boom Family of “The Hiding Place” fame.
• The gym teacher in the recent Florida school massacre, who shielded his students with his own body (and was killed for his trouble).
• The male passenger in a jet/river crash in the 1990′s, who passed the rescue harness to 3 other victims
• But it doesn’t have to be a big, dramatic act. Many people tirelessly give and love each and everyday in small incremental ways, which we all can do.
• The below link for a TED talk goes deeper into this and other types of love.

 

Today is Valentine’s Day – mostly associated with romantic love – which is important and also much needed. But I think the world can benefit from a reminder about Agape Love.

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

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BONUS  :   TED TALK

the seven types of love?
philia (deep friendship)
ludus (playful love)
agape (selfless love)
eros (physical love)
storge (familial love)
pragma (long-standing love)
philautia (love of oneself)

https://www.ted.com/tedx/events/11217

Frey Freyday – Meaning

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value. Hermann Hesse
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For the meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment. Viktor E. Frankl
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WORD TO LIVE BY:

Meaning – [mee-nin]- the end, purpose, or significance of something

Lots of things ‘happen to us’ in life. Illness, loss, death, pain sorrow. There are also lots of events each day that come our way, small and big; traffic, business, bills, and other responsibilities.

Events happen, things happen, how we react to these things is a big deal. The meaning we give to these things makes a difference.

Sometimes we label an event as bad or good. Sometimes that’s not really fair or accurate. Often we need time and perspective to look back on things in our lives. Sometimes that thing that happened seemed like a bad thing for us but after all, it turned out to be good for us.

Recently author Jim Fortin wrote, “There is a personal development program called Landmark Forum and a famous phrase in that program is that “humans are meaning-making machines”. Your brain makes meaning of the world around you for survival purposes and it is entirely brain-based.
People are also making meaning and interpretations about you, what you drive, your ethnicity, your name, where you live, and they’re making judgments which are nothing more than meanings. Many times these meanings are not accurate. It’s simply people just making meanings because that’s what people do. “

Put simply, it isn’t the events, situations, or circumstances of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean….it is the meaning we assign to the event that makes the difference.

So if you’re going to make meanings in life, what I strongly suggest is that you make meanings that actually serve and build you, as opposed to meanings that actually pull you back. Remember: Nothing has any meaning except the meaning you give it

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

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BONUS  :   Podcast

https://www.jimfortin.com/episode-91-your-life-has-no-meaning-except/

Frey Freyday – Compassion

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

 –com·pas·sion \kəm-ˈpa-shən\ – a feeling of wanting to help some other person or being

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The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others.-Albert Schweitzer

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Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.-Dalai Lama

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I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.-Lao Tzu

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WORD TO LIVE BY:

com·pas·sion –

This was shared last year but worth sharing again…

First, all great religions talk about compassion. The more we mature individually and/or as a species, the more compassionate we become.

There is another definition out there that states “Compassion motivates people to go out of their way to help physical, spiritual, or emotional hurts or pains of another. Compassion is often regarded as having an emotional aspect to it, though when based on cerebral notions such as fairness, justice and interdependence, it may be considered rational in nature and its application understood as an activity based on sound judgment.” This is true. Even though compassion and the act of it often makes us feel better and involved emotion, the benefits can truly be rational and pragmatic.

Compassion is part of altruism – loving and giving unconditionally. As we strive to become better people we must take steps to become more altruistic, which of course means we can act more compassionate.

There are scientific, medical, and psychological studies that show how compassion actually benefits the given and the receiver. Studies have shown that when I am compassionate to another, I benefit; the receiver benefits, and even those people that observe the act benefit. Compassion may have the ability to induce feelings of kindness and forgiveness, which could give people the ability to stop situations that occasionally lead to violence.

Identifying with another person is an essential process for human beings. It is commonly seen throughout the world as people adapt and change with new styles of clothing, language, behavior, etc., which is illustrated by infants who begin to mirror the facial expressions and body movements of their mother as early as the first days of their lives. This process is highly related to compassion because sympathizing with others is possible with people from other countries, cultures, locations, etc

Compassion is a number of things – helping others in need, relieving stress/strife/pain/hurt. Compassion is a process of connecting by identifying with another person.

 Today I was reminded again of compassion in an article. The article did cite a quote from author Kari Kampakis. It beautifully describes the concept of using people’s hurtful actions as opportunities for self-growth and compassion. She writes:

“Regardless of how anyone treats you, you stand to benefit. While some people teach you who you do want to be, others teach you who you don’t want to be. And it’s the people who teach you who you don’t want to be that provide some of the most lasting and memorable lessons on social graces, human dignity, and the importance of acting with integrity.”

Sometimes when we experience unkind treatment from others in the world, we can choose to withdraw, feel hurt, feel angry, etc. Or we can use it as a reminder or opportunity, and it can become a means to gain awareness, compassion, and connection.

(the 2020 challenge is to use 3 quotes or less, what do you think?)

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

 

Bonus: 7 Great TED talks about Compassion

https://www.ted.com/playlists/447/how_to_make_compassion_thrive

Frey Freyday – Label

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Label –[ˈlābəl] –VERB –labeling (present participle) assign to a category, especially inaccurately or restrictively.

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Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you. –Thomas Jefferson

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Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition or label of your life; define yourself. –Harvey Fierstein

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Once you label me you negate me. –Soren Kierkegaard

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If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome. –Michael Jordan

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I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine. –Bruce Lee

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Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. –Leo Buscaglia

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If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. –Abraham Maslow

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Winners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations in advance of the event. –Brian Tracy

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Expectations are a form of first-class truth: If people believe it, it’s true.-Bill Gates

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You can’t base your life on other people’s expectations. –Stevie Wonder

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If you were to look up your name in the dictionary, how would you be defined? Would three words just about cover it, or would your epic narrative consume page after page—or even demand a volume of its own? – Tony Robbins

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I think any label is bad. I’m more than a label. – Unknown

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WORD TO LIVE BY:

Labels – something we assign to a person, situation, experience or event. Typically we assign the meaning to these things and depending on our perspective, the label can vary greatly.

As we approach a new year, we often reflect on days and years gone by, and those ahead of us. We all tend to label some days or years as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. We label simple and complex events each and every day as good or bad.

Yet, did you ever label something as ‘bad’ and with time and perspective, you look back and it wasn’t that bad. In fact, sometimes aren’t those events actually good for our lives? There is a Zen story about this, I shared it below in the bonus section. Perspective and timing do change the meaning. We assign the meaning. We can often benefit from not labeling…..

We label people in our lives, even those we don’t really know. How many times have we labeled someone one way and only to find out that they do not fall under that label?

When we place expectations on others or in a relationship, in essence we are putting a label on the person, relationship, or situation. This is inaccurate and limits the person, situation or relationship.

We label ourselves, consciously and unconsciously. Typically I find that we are all hard on ourselves, too hard. Our self-talk is critical and we need to reinforce the good, learn from mistakes and failures and keep an open mind about people, events, and situations before we simply label them as good or bad.

When we put labels on things, you’ve got twoness. You’ve got the label, and you’ve got what you’re labeling. And there is only oneness in the universe, even though we artificially believe in twoness. Our ego likes the feeling of control with a label, it likes the feeling that we know what we’re doing. Really there is no control.

Ideas:

• When something happens, don’t label it good or bad. It is just an event. Be in the moment, observe, be self-aware, learn from it and move on
• When you catch yourself labeling something or someone, don’t judge yourself either. Just stop, realize it, and move on
• Spend a day without the label of “parent” or “boss” and put yourself into an open, observant, self-aware state of mind.

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

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BONUS  :   THE ZEN STORY – GOOD LUCK? BAD LUCK? WHO KNOWS! 

An elderly, hard-working Chinese farmer and his son, had a single horse. They used the horse to plow the field, to sow the seeds, grow the crop, and transport it to the market. The horse was essential for the farmer to earn his livelihood.

One morning, the horse broke the fence and ran away into the woods. When the neighbors found out that the only horse the farmer had, had run away, they came to solace him. They said – “Your only horse has run away just before the planting season. How will you till the land? How will you sow the seeds? This is unfortunate. This is bad luck.”

The farmer replied – “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”

A few days later the farmer’s horse returned from the woods along with two other wild horses. When the neighbors found out the news, they said – ” Now you have three horses! You can till the land much faster with three horses. Maybe you can buy more land and sow more crop and make more money. Or you can sell the other two horses. Either way, you will be a rich man! This is good luck! “

The wise farmer replied – “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”

Next morning, the farmer’s son started training the wild horses to that they would help till the land. While attempting to mount one of the wild horses, he fell down and broke his leg. Just before the sowing season, the son would not be able to help the farmer with his broken leg. The neighbors came once again and commented – ” This is really unfortunate. This is bad luck.“

The wise farmer repeated – “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”

A few days later, the king’s men started to visit each village in the kingdom. A war had started between their kingdom and a neighboring enemy state. The king’s men were enlisting the eldest son from each family to join the army so that they could defeat the enemy state. When they came to the farmer’s house they saw the son with the broken leg. He would not be of much use in the army and hence they didn’t take him. He was the only eldest son in the entire village who was not forcibly taken by the king’s men to fight the war. The neighbors, some of them with teary eyes, came once again to the farmer and commented – “Your son breaking his leg was really fortunate. He is the only one who was not taken. What a stroke of good luck.“

The farmer calmly replied – “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”

Every single time the neighbors thought that what had happened to the farmer was bad luck, it turned out to be good luck! And just when the neighbor’s thought that the incidents had brought the farmer good luck, it turned out to be bad luck! 

Frey Freyday-Inner Voices

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

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Your inner voice is the voice of divinity. To hear it, we need to be in solitude, even in crowded places.-A. R. Rahman

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Your mind knows only some things. Your inner voice, your instinct, knows everything. If you listen to what you know instinctively, it will always lead you down the right path.-Henry Winkler

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Everyone who wills can hear the inner voice. It is within everyone.-Mahatma Gandhi

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You are the one who was sent to make a difference, to be a bridge, to light the way, by living the truths that have been revealed to you, so that others might do the same. So now you know why you’ve always seen the world so differently than others. Listen to your inner voice. To help, –The Universe, http://www.tut.com

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That inner voice has both gentleness and clarity. So to get to authenticity, you really keep going down to the bone, to the honesty, and the inevitability of something.-Meredith Monk

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I never decide if an idea is good or bad until I try it. So much of what gets in the way of things being good is thinking that we know. And the more that we can remove any baggage we’re carrying with us, and just be in the moment, use our ears, and pay attention to what’s happening, and just listen to the inner voice that directs us, the better.-Rick Rubin

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When you trust in yourself, you listen to your soul speak and hear what your intuition or the “voice within” is saying. When you trust in others, you practice noninterference and free yourself from trying to control others who have their own inner voice to follow.- Wayne Dyer

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I never get the accountants in before I start up a business. It’s done on gut feeling, especially if I can see that they are taking the mickey out of the consumer.-Richard Branson

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Never ignore a gut feeling, but never believe that it’s enough.-Robert Heller

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WORD TO LIVE BY:

INNER VOICE – some say the inner voice is ‘listening to our heart’, others say it is God in us, some say it is the consciousness or Source that connects us all, some say that it is our True Self – some say it’s all the same.

Basically the inner voice is that which guides us over time. Our intuition, our guiding light.

Not to be confused with another inner voice, our ego and/or fear. For instance; if you’re afraid of flying, you might have a voice that tells you to get off the plane, immediately, now- and you’re panicking or sweating or nervous – or all of the above! That is fear.

The ego is much the same, and or may come up in the way of desperation, jealousy, envy, pride, etc. You may see lack in the world, scarcity, you see what is wrong or what you don’t have.

Both of these above generate nervous feelings, panic, you feel you must change now, you’re not calm, you don’t feel connected, you feel like you’re lacking.

The Inner Voice is calm, connected. Often it is more long term, not the immediate ‘must-do’ decisions. No sweating, no panic. This is you. Often you may have a recurring thought, feeling, intuition over months, even years. That thing that you wanted to explore when you were a kid, then 5 years ago, and again you’re craving to explore this year. If it comes up that way in a confident, calm state of mind, that means the voice is trying to say something. This is where the magic happens. This state of mind often focuses on what you have, not what you lack. There is no scarcity. There is abundance, connection, gratitude, calmness, openness, creativity, collaboration, ease and hope.

What is your Inner Voice saying to you?

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Bonus:

RADIOLAB’s Inner Voices episode

http://www.radiolab.org/story/301401-inner-voices/

Frey Freyday – Favorite Quotes

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

 FAVORITE QUOTES….

Wanting something is not enough. You must hunger for it. Your motivation must be absolutely compelling in order to overcome the obstacles that will invariably come your way. Les Brown
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A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided. Tony Robbins

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Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along. George Herbert

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This world is but a canvas to our imagination. Henry David Thoreau
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What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you. Ralph Waldo Emerson
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There seems to be some perverse human characteristic that likes to make easy things difficult. Keep it simple. Warren Buffett
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We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves. Buddha
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We focus so much on our differences, and that is creating, I think, a lot of chaos and negativity and bullying in the world. And I think if everybody focused on what we all have in common – which is – we all want to be happy. Ellen DeGeneres
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Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for. Zig Ziglar
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How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours. Wayne Dyer

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If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them. Bruce Lee
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All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination. Earl Nightingale
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Everything happens for a reason dot-dot-dot and you choose the reason. Do you want to find out your purpose in life? Define your purpose. Hal Elrod

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I’ve learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances. Martha Washington

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Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that’s beautiful. Rashida Jones
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I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures. Lao Tzu
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I think everybody longs to be loved and longs to know that he or she is lovable. And, consequently, the greatest thing that we can do is to help somebody know that they’re loved and capable of loving. Fred Rogers
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Love one another. Jesus Christ

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Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

Frey Freyday – Useful

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.-George Bernard Shaw

Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.-Francis Bacon

Always desire to learn something useful.-Sophocles

Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.-Margaret J. Wheatley

We should not look back unless it is to derive useful lessons from past errors, and for the purpose of profiting by dearly bought experience.-George Washington

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Words To Live By:

use·ful –[ˈyo͞osfəl] – being of use or service; serving some purpose; advantageous, helpful, or of good effect:

We all do lots of things, think a lot of things, we have beliefs, we have habits that we have done for years.

Maybe we’re scared of something and we’ve been scared for a long time.

Maybe it is a more recent belief.

For instance, the belief, “I am scared of flying. Therefore I rarely fly. I avoid flying.”

So what? Ask this: IS IT USEFUL?

By not flying, does it negatively affect my life? Who is losing out on something because of my fear? Family? Experiences? Maybe my children won’t experience something, I won’t build a relationship, I won’t meet someone, see something, broaden something – you don’t know what you don’t know. What kind of example do I set for others, my kids? Does it affect my career? What am I missing?, etc. etc…..

We can change our beliefs. Being scared to fly isn’t useful. Change the belief. Or work with it, overcome it….

OR, maybe we have a daily habit. Something we do each day.

Ask this: IS IT USEFUL?

For example: We get worried or anxious every morning before arriving at work. Is it useful? Does it help? Probably not ever, right?

We may already know worry doesn’t help but asking the question makes us aware, perhaps in a different way, and we can address the issue differently.

Some people like to be in control. Ask this: IS IT USEFUL?

How does it affect others? Can you let go and have faith? Letting go let’s us act more naturally, more inspired, closer to God even, perhaps. Being in control also takes away the chance for others to lead or be independent.

Other things? Drinking soda? Eating sweets? Not Exercising?

Being right in an argument? Making sure you get the last word? Being in charge?

We all had an experience, learned something, had a belief or feeling in our childhood. Many of those things were not accurate, many of those things were our mind’s reaction (as a child) to something. Often this was based in fear and emotion. Some of us still have these childhood beliefs, fears, and habits – and they are not serving us well. They are not useful in many cases.

Lastly, how about that self-talk we all do?
You say thousands of things to yourself each day.

You have thoughts, images, mini-movies playing all day, everyday in your head.

You ask yourself many questions each day.

Catch yourself next time later today and tomorrow and be aware of the thoughts.

Ask this: IS IT USEFUL?

We often make it harder on ourselves don’t we?

Habits, beliefs, thoughts, actions…..

Asking the question “Is it useful?” can help us be more aware, which helps us correct and adjust things, if we desire it.

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Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By”(WTLB).
Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally,sometimes accidentally.
……So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….
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Frey Freyday- Habits

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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Repetition of the same thought or physical action develops into a habit which, repeated frequently enough, becomes an automatic reflex. Norman Vincent Peale
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Moral excellence comes about as a result of habit. We become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts. Aristotle
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Food is not rational. Food is culture, habit, craving and identity. Jonathan Safran Foer
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Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. Jim Ryun
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To change a habit, make a conscious decision, then act out the new behavior. Maxwell Maltz
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Until you have formed the habit of looking for the good instead of the bad there is in others, you will be neither successful nor happy. Napoleon Hill
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Make it your habit not to be critical about small things. Edward Everett Hale
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WORD TO LIVE BY:

Habit- noun–hab·​it | \ ˈha-bət  \-an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary

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Did you ever notice how hard it is to break some habits?

It has been said that as much as 95% of what you do all day long is habit. Habits happen in your brain and you have no conscious thought about it. Many say that Habits CONTROL you.

(Yes, habits can be ‘good’ or ‘bad’)

In fact, research done at the Max Planck Institute in Leipzig Germany, one of the foremost research institutes in the world, discovered that 95% of everything that we do on a daily basis is brain-based and habit-based. We go through our entire days on automatic autopilot. As a matter of fact, we go through most of our days on brain-based automatic autopilot or on unconscious autopilot.

Habits are not personal. They come from the reptilian part of the brain. By the way, the reptilian part of the brain doesn’t know right or wrong, good from bad. It just works from habit.

“You don’t get in life what you want, you get what/who you are (habits).” Jim Fortin

Habits have to do with our identity also. If you ask someone, “Are you a smoker?” – they will answer yes or no. Obviously if they are a smoker, they’ll say yes. Their identity is a smoker. But we all have other little identities, many we’re not aware of; ‘a messy person’, ‘someone who is always late’, ‘victim’, ‘hard-worker’, ‘generous person’, ‘funny person’, etc. etc..

You could also state that everything you have in life is a habit and everything you don’t have is a habit so it’s vital that you master your habit management.

·         willpower only works to some degree to change habits ·         everything is about training yourself; good or bad

 With a habit, there is first the cue or urge to do something. Often we don’t know this happens. So we have the urge to do something – the habit, then we do the habit, which is often like a reward. Example; I have an urge, I say, “I want a diet soda”. I often break and have one in that moment.

So let’s say you want to stop a habit; essentially your willpower and your reptilian brain battle it out. Usually your reptilian brain wins.

But there are strategies to overcome the reptilian brain. Here is one from a guy named Jim Fortin:

When you get an urge for a habit, say “This is just a habit, it is not me.”

1. Then say, “This urge will go away if I dismiss it.”
2. Then say, “It is just my habit ‘voice’, it’s not me!”
3. Then say, “I Choose to dismiss this urge and this ‘voice’ now!”
4. Say one more thing; “I’ve moved my attention elsewhere.”

Remember, we are usually where we are in our life where our attention is. If we move our attention, we can more our lives.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

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BONUS  :

Why/what and more about habits and Steps to break habits

Podcast by Jim Fortin “Why It’s So Hard To Break Your Bad Habits”

https://www.jimfortin.com/podcast/episode-45-why-its-so-hard-to-break-your-bad-habits-part-2/

Frey Freyday – Money

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Finance is not merely about making money. It’s about achieving our deep goals and protecting the fruits of our labor. It’s about stewardship and, therefore, about achieving the good society. Robert J. Shiller
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What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. Bob Dylan
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Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like. Will Rogers
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Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. Ayn Rand
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WORD TO LIVE BY:

money- noun, often attributive-mon·​ey | \ ˈmə-nē  \

plural moneys or monies\ ˈmə-​nēz  \- something generally accepted as a medium of exchange, a measure of value, or a means of payment:

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People react to and think about money in many different ways.

Most people don’t like to talk about money. That can be problematic.

Unfortunately many, many Americans live paycheck to paycheck. We don’t have any reserves for an emergency; a health issue, a car repair, etc.

In the U.S., the average retirement savings is $95,766 across all age groups, according to the EPI. Experts recommend having at least $1,000,000 saved for retirement by the age of 60.

Too many of us don’t know or understand some things around savings, investments, mortgages, credit cards, loans. That’s OK not to know or understand we all start out that way with everything. However, too many people then still go ahead with life and they don’t ask questions, they don’t read, self-educate or ask for help. In some ways, ignorance is chosen.

Don’t beat yourself up…We are humans, therefore we still act partially rational, partially irrational. Our brains still have primitive fight or flight mechanisms; we react to and from emotions. This affects our money habits.

Many people know they want or need to save money but our ‘reptile brain’ hinders this. We sometimes panic, sometimes fear drives us, sometimes we’re driven by an impulse in the moment to spend, in any case, while we know that we should set aside some of our money for savings, many of us do not. Once we realize and accept that we still have this part in all of us, and that it affects our money, we can do something about it, we can ‘hack’ it.

Really, the best way to do this is simple. Make it automatic. Many of us have a 401k or retirement plan at work. We can take out a % of income BEFORE we even see it. Maximize that %. Use Apps to make savings easier. There are many different ways to pull out money – before you can touch it – and put it into savings or investments. Out of sight, out of mind is a good thing in this case. Put the money somewhere that you can’t touch it. Schedule automatic transfers to another account. Save your loose change. Budget with cash and envelopes.

Think about it….if you set aside 5%, for instance, you really won’t miss it, especially if you take it out up front before you ‘see it’. We can all adjust to small changes like that. You can still live a fair lifestyle with 95% of your money.

If you get a raise, set that raise aside before you see it. For instance, if you get a 3% raise, set up an automatic withdrawal so that you pull the 3% out and save it. You’ve been living on your income without that 3% until now, you won’t miss what you don’t have, put that somewhere where you can’t touch it.

There are many websites for and about this. https://americasaves.org/for-savers/save-automatically https://www.discover.com/credit-cards/resources/5-ways-of-saving-money-automatically/ , https://americasaves.org/for-savers/make-a-plan-how-to-save-money/54-ways-to-save-money ,

If you don’t know or understand something about money, credit, finance, whatever, don’t just keep living like that – read, ask, search it. There are many good resources and people out there who aren’t trying to sell you something, there are people that can and want to help.

http://www.pbs.org/your-life-your-money/index.php , https://360financialliteracy.org/ , http://www.practicalmoneyskills.com/ , https://www.financialliteracy101.org/

Above all, we all need to take time to talk about money and plan more. If you think about it, most Americans can spend weeks, even months, planning a vacation. I’ve seen some people plan a wedding for over a year. However, too often many of us spend almost no time planning for retirement.

Things can’t improve without change.

Every human has four endowments – self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom… The power to choose, to respond, to change. Stephen Covey
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Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. Carol Burnett

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Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

–

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

–

BONUS  :   How I learned to read –and trade stocks – in prison

Financial literacy isn’t a skill — it’s a lifestyle. Take it from Curtis “Wall Street” Carroll. As an incarcerated individual, Carroll knows the power of a dollar. While in prison, he taught himself how to read and trade stocks, and now he shares a simple, powerful message: we all need to be more savvy with our money.

https://www.ted.com/talks/curtis_wall_street_carroll_how_i_learned_to_read_and_trade_stocks_in_prison