Category Archives: Words To Live By

Frey Freyday- Action

 

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is

over and gone. The future is not guaranteed. – Dr. Wayne Dyer


Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define

you.-Thomas Jefferson


When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the

action steps. –Confucius

I never worry about action, but only inaction.-Winston Churchill

Action expresses priorities.-Mahatma Gandhi

Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own

future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your

creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what

you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.-Bradley Whitford

Action is the foundational key to all success.-Pablo Picasso

A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no

action, you haven’t truly decided.-Tony Robbins

An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.-Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less than the long range risks of

comfortable inaction.-John F. Kennedy

Never confuse motion with action.-Benjamin Franklin
———-

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Action – [ak-shuh n] – the process or state of acting or of being active

I believe that action is everything. Dumb or smart. Evil or well-meaning. Good ideas are all fine and good but without action, they are nothing.

Lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough. You must take action.

Success in any field comes from taking the initiative and following up… and then persisting and taking action on a consistent basis. To be successful, we must take control of our consistent actions.

It’s not what we do once in a while that makes us who we are, but what we do consistently.

Ask yourself, “What simple action could I take today to move toward a dream or towards success in your life? “

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB).

Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….


BONUS-15 Ted Talks for procrastination

http://blog.ted.com/15-ted-talks-for-procrastination/

(to be removed from this list, take action and reply “REMOVE”)

action.jpg

Advertisements

Frey Freyday – Brave/Bold

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

BRAVE – [brāv] -ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage:

BOLD-[bōld]-of a person, action, or idea) showing an ability to take risks; confident and courageous.

I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death. -Leonardo da Vinci

Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.-Indira Gandhi

We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world.-Helen Keller

Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.-Paulo Coelho

People often fool themselves into the comfortable life by reasoning that taking “baby steps” are sufficient. But if we are forever taking baby steps — living life without bold steps and those chancy bets of courage that are the mark of greatness — then our character and dreams will forever languish in their infancy. To live a fully charged life, we must allow the risk and vulnerability of those great leaps into the unknown. Let us be so brave.- Brendon Burchard

A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer.-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Be brave enough to live life creatively. The creative place where no one else has ever been.-Alan Alda

Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened.-Billy Graham

Fortune and love favor the brave.-Ovid

WORDS TO LIVE BY:

Brave/Bold – someone who exhibits bravery or boldness can fully live life, they can help others, they can do well in their careers and in relationships. They can look back at their lives and know that they tried, they lived. Someone with bravery/boldness AND some compassion can evolve to the next level and help others too.

WHATEVER YOU CAN DO OR DREAM YOU CAN DO, BEGIN IT. BOLDNESS HAS GENIUS, POWER AND MAGIC IN IT!

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

This is dedicated to the men and women that have helped make and continue to keep this Country independent with their brave actions.

Flag

Bonus: TED Talks

http://www.ted.com/playlists/268/talks_to_help_you_claim_your_i

Claim your independence

Brave, personal stories of people who make bold moves to claim a better life.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

Frey Freyday – Tolerance

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Tolerance – [ˈtäl(ə)rəns]- the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.

The highest result of education is tolerance. Helen Keller

The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority. Ralph W. Sockman –

I think more tolerance, more people having more access to a chance to be literate, and a chance to stay healthy makes for a more peaceful planet. Henry Rollins –

What is tolerance? It is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other’s folly – that is the first law of nature. Voltaire –

I’ve lived the American Dream and had a great life. Immigration and religion and racial tolerance are the foundation of this country. Shahid Khan –

When you feel peaceful and successful, you want to extend and export that peace and love. The violence, hatred, prejudice, and judgment in our world suggest that we have miles to go to reach a world of inner and outer peace. Wayne Dyer

We must practice universal toleration or the right of every man to abide by his own faith and beliefs without interference or fearing retaliation or to the right to hold views that are not judged unjustly simple because they differ from another. Tolerance could be defined as reason and understanding tempered by kindness and respect.

Word to Live By:

Tolerance – something our world needs a little more of…

There are lots of strong opinions today….on both sides and on many issues. It is easy for us all to get emotional, defensive, angry, etc. We need to take a breath. We can benefit from understanding our brothers and sisters out there.

Sometimes I see that we aren’t listening to each other much. We can use more compassion, kindness, respect, civility and tolerance.

I believe each of us can be more open and respectful to each other’s ideas, beliefs and thoughts. We would get along better and accomplish more if we did.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

 

BONUS: TED TALK-For more tolerance, we need more … tourism?

https://www.ted.com/talks/aziz_abu_sarah_for_more_tolerance_we_need_more_tourism

Aziz Abu Sarah is a Palestinian activist with an unusual approach to peace-keeping: Be a tourist. The TED Fellow shows how simple interactions with people in different cultures can erode decades of hate. He starts with Palestinians visiting Israelis and moves beyond …

Frey Freyday – Circumstance

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

cir·cum·stance – [ˈsərkəmˌstans, ˈsərkəmstəns] a fact or condition connected with or relevant to an event or action.

I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition. Martha Washington  –

Things present themselves to you, and it’s how you choose to deal with them that reveals who you are. We all say a lot of things, don’t we, about who we are and how we think. But in the end it’s your actions, how you respond to circumstance that reveals your character. Cate Blanchett  –

He is happy whom circumstances suit his temper; but he Is more excellent who suits his temper to any circumstance. David Hume  –

You can have nothing and be sad, or you can have nothing and be, like, positive and look at it in a good way and try to make your circumstance better. Slim Jimmy  –

Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret. Don Miguel Ruiz  –

Circumstance has no value. It is how one relates to a situation that has value. All true meaning resides in the personal relationship to a phenomenon… what it means to you. Christopher McCandless

Our experience of many life circumstances is a function of our personal perspective and not the circumstance itself. Unknown  –

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Circumstance – You are not your circumstances.

People, myself included sometimes, worry. They worry about their circumstances.

When we worry, and worry over and over, you’re saying “I’m going to worry about XYZ and keep the thoughts and keep the worry and I’m not going to step back from those worried thoughts, …I am the thinker of my thoughts and I manage and control those those thoughts, yet I still choose to worry…..”

Most people worry, worry, worry each and every day about their circumstances; past, present, future, real or otherwise.

Essentially when this happens, someone is saying ‘I’m not powerful enough to even choose my own thoughts, but that the thoughts choose me.’ Worry comes to me and I can’t do anything about this.

“You are not your circumstances. Happiness is never based on circumstances.” -Jim Fortin

Think about this – this happens to everyone in some way or another:

When things in life go the way we want them to go, we probably are happy. When they don’t go how we want them to go, we are unhappy – we are also often angry, mean, tense, short with others, distracted, judgmental, grumpy, and it affects you, your work, your relationships, your health. Being unhappy is not good for your health, stress can cause illness and disease. Obviously an unhappy person is not going to be as good as a happy person in relationships and at work. Guess what? When you’re unhappy, you actually get even less of what you want, so it compounds. And again, you’re unhappy!

It is a catch-22, self-fulfilling prophesy.

You can’t let the external world affect you and your happiness. Happiness comes from the inside out, regardless of your circumstances!

Also, many of us say, “when I get XYZ (job/raise/relationship/house/car/etc.) I will be happy”. Most of us think circumstances will make us happy. The reverse is true!

Happiness creates/attracts better circumstances.

Money doesn’t make a happy life, a happy life makes more money.

I personally have seen this in my own life. I believe this stuff is true.

Be happy everyday.

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

Frey Freyday – Integrity

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

in·teg·ri·ty – [inˈteɡrədē] – the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office. Dwight D. Eisenhower –

The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively. Bob Marley –

Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not. Oprah Winfrey –

Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values. Ayn Rand –

Moral authority comes from following universal and timeless principles like honesty, integrity, treating people with respect. Stephen Covey –

WORD TO LIVE BY:

 

Integrity: the most important thing is you do what is right when no one is looking.
Integrity is used a lot in business discussions and such, almost overused I think. It can be used in a number of contexts.

 

To me, I use it really only for myself. In other words, to me integrity is really what you do when no one is looking.

Not too many years ago, there were cases when I lost a little integrity in some instances.

One time, as a family, we were all trying to eat healthy foods all week, less sugar, junk, etc. There were times when I was alone at work or traveling and I’d ‘cheat’ on our informal agreement and indulge on cookies, donuts and junk food. No one knew but me.

Other times when I was much younger, I had times when I didn’t put forth full effort at work and didn’t give it my best. Still other times in my youth when I’d state that I read or exercised or did something completely and I didn’t. There were times when I acted nice and friendly on the outside but in my mind I was thinking otherwise.

I believe integrity with oneself is very important. Part of it is discipline, sure – it takes discipline to exercise or avoid that donut, to do work or whatever ‘it’ is. But part of it is just choosing to do the right thing, especially when the easier choice is only ‘half-right’, or just plain wrong.

I find that when I have with integrity with myself- when I stick to my values, when I follow my vision, and when I do things ‘behind the scenes’ even when no one is watching, I build momentum, I feel more confident and satisfied and in some ways I build more credibility with myself. When I don’t do something, I lose it.

Whether its anonymously giving or doing something for charity, doing that extra set of exercise, skipping the snack or the junk, making that call, having a special touch, doing work above and beyond, making an extra effort, living up to our goals and beliefs, truly being kind and compassionate-inside and out, or just doing the right thing, integrity is a must – it is what makes us better.

Whether it be something ‘big’ like a marriage over decades or just what you’re eating today, we have a belief or commitment to something. We are committed to certain goals and values, right? So, in the words of Les Brown “honor your commitments with integrity.” Give your marriage, your diet, your goals, your whatever the honor of doing the right thing all the time. It is hard for me and hard for any of us because we are humans. We seek to be better but we have weak moments.

May the 4th be with you.

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

BONUS : https://www.ted.com/tedx/events/7160

Theme: Integrity

Integrity

“Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.” – Cecil Beaton

We should not assume that integrity must always stand for some sort of static moral high ground or hubris. Instead, we should acknowledge the playfulness of this quality, and apply it to the spirit with which we ought to embrace our passions and the determination that can help us achieve our means, whether in a personal, communal or scientific endeavor. So, in the words of Les Brown “honor your commitments with integrity.”

 

Frey Freyday – Let Go

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

LET GO / DETACHMENTthe action or process of detaching; separation (emotionally, physically)

The essence of the Way is detachment. – Bodhidharma

He who would be serene and pure needs but one thing, detachment.  –Meister Eckhart

In order to acquire anything in the physical universe, you have to relinquish you attachment to it. Deepak Chopra

It doesn’t take a lot of strength to hang on. It takes a lot of strength to let go. J. C. Watts –

To be consistently effective, you must put a certain distance between yourself and what happens to you on the golf course. This is not indifference, it’s detachment.  -Sam Snead

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. Lao Tzu

I cannot own anything. It is a valuable thought to keep in mind as you struggle to improve your financial picture, worry about investments, and plan how to acquire more and more. It is a universal principle which you are part of. You must release everything when you truly awaken. Are you letting your life go by in frustration and worry over not having enough? If so, relax and remember that you only get what you have for a short period of time. When you awaken you will see the folly of being attached to anything. Wayne Dyer

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Let Go – to mentally, emotionally, even psychically detaching oneself from an outcome, result, worry, concern, anger, pain, hurt, goal, challenge, etc.

I’ve written about having faith in others, in yourself, in a Higher Power, etc. before. I’ve talked about letting go in similar ways related to our desires and intentions, and even a little about letting go in relationships and with the loss of a loved ones. I’ve discussed detachment a bit too.

I must be honest, these are some of the harder things for me. In particular, I had difficulty for quite a while with letting go – or what some call the law of detachment.

We’ve had challenges and uncertainty in life and in the world/health/economy. We often consider that uncertainty is always bad.

But it is important to realize that there are good things related to uncertainty. With uncertainty there is a break or freedom from what has happened – from the past. The past does not equal the future. We have the opportunity to escape our own past habits, conditioning, from what we now know. It is an opportunity.

 If we are willing to step into the unknown, to have faith, and to detach ourselves from the outcome, we surrender ourselves to our own creative subconscious, to other people’s love and support, and to the creative powers that exist in this universe.

This doesn’t mean that you give up the intention or the desire, but you give up the attachment to the result.

That’s sometimes a little esoteric for me and difficult for me to do. I do know that it can also be very powerful.

I think about times in the past when I felt that I ‘needed’ a chunk of money to pay something. There are times when I needed a few hundred, other times when I needed tens of thousands of dollars for something.

Maybe for you it was a relationship that you wanted. Or maybe you wanted a new client, more sales, a new car, a house, that gadget, whatever.

We focus on it and we think about it and really just hang on it, right? We have a burning desire, we make a strategy and we really, really want it.

This is typically attachment. Typically this is not helpful. It can be based on insecurity, fear, scarcity. We think that we don’t have it, that it is separate from us and that we have a void and we want it to fill the void.  If you think about creation and abundance, those things are opposites. It can also show a lack of faith in ourselves and Creation.

Abundance, Creation, wealth, can fulfill every need. But are these things that we are chasing, really a need? Are they really necessary?

When we ‘chase things’ we create anxiety, tension, stress, don’t we?

As Deepak Chopra says, “Attachment comes from poverty consciousness, because attachment is always to symbols. Detachment is synonymous with wealth consciousness, because with detachment there is freedom to create. Only from detached involvement can one have joy and laughter.”

(When Chopra speaks of symbols, he means the materialistic, physical things that we desire in life; cars, money, homes, clothes, etc. Often these things can leave us feeling hollow.)

Attachment leads us more towards a world of helplessness, hopelessness, desperation and seriousness, doesn’t it? Think of those times when you felt that you needed something ASAP. You probably worried more, thought about the problem, thought about something related to it from the past or future and you weren’t in the present moment. You probably weren’t as creative or joyful, right?

So How do we DETACH?:  Essentially let go or hand over things to your Creator/God/Higher Power. Let go of all the persons, places and things which you would like to see changed but which you cannot change on your own. 

Realize and take responsibility for your own actions and accept that there is only one person you can change and that is yourself. Let go of the “need” to fix, change, rescue or heal other persons, places and things.

Real detachment means inner strength, and the ability to function calmly and with full inner control under all circumstances. A detached person is not harassed and hurried, and can do everything with concentration and attention, thus insuring a successful outcome of his actions.

There is wisdom in uncertainty. There is freedom and creativity in uncertainty, detachment.

When we are attached to something, we are in some way trying to control things. Controlling such is this is typically because we’re afraid. Our fear and our ego leads us to believe that somehow if we control things, everything will be OK. Instead, letting go will open us up to other possibilities.

We all seek security in one way or another. Again, I cite Chopra’s example when we might  desire money and expect security from it. “When I have X million dollares, then I’ll be secure.” But it never happens.

Seeking security in this manner can lead us to chase it for a lifetime without ever finding it.” Deepak Chopra. http://www.chopra.com/laws/detachment

It is also true that we all can sometimes get attached to “Our Story” – our past, our challenges, our history. This story of our life can limit us greatly if we get emotional and/or attached to it. Instead, we can have a healthy detachment to our past. This allows us to more easily identify the lessons and the benefit that comes from the experience.

Are you stuck in life because you are living out of a story you told yourself long ago? Are you reliving the same story over and over, placing your attention on the story rather than where you want to go? We all do it.

 Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

  • BONUS:

Here are SOME EXCELLENT POINTS ABOUT DETACHMENT

They discuss things more in terms of relationships, but it is still relevant. http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/

What is detachment? Detachment is the: * Ability to allow people, places or things the freedom to be themselves. * Holding back from the need to rescue, save or fix another person from being sick, dysfunctional or irrational. * Giving another person “the space” to be herself. * Disengaging from an over-enmeshed or dependent relationship with people. * Willingness to accept that you cannot change or control a person, place or thing. * Developing and maintaining of a safe, emotional distance from someone whom you have previously given a lot of power to affect your emotional outlook on life. * Establishing of emotional boundaries between you and those people you have become overly enmeshed or dependent with in order that all of you might be able to develop your own sense of autonomy and independence. * Process by which you are free to feel your own feelings when you see another person falter and fail and not be led by guilt to feel responsible for their failure or faltering. * Ability to maintain an emotional bond of love, concern and caring without the negative results of rescuing, enabling, fixing or controlling. * Placing of all things in life into a healthy, rational perspective and recognizing that there is a need to back away from the uncontrollable and unchangeable realities of life. * Ability to exercise emotional self-protection and prevention so as not to experience greater emotional devastation from having hung on beyond a reasonable and rational point. * Ability to let people you love and care for accept personal responsibility for their own actions and to practice tough love and not give in when they come to you to bail them out when their actions lead to failure or trouble for them. * Ability to allow people to be who they “really are” rather than who you “want them to be.” * Ability to avoid being hurt, abused, taken advantage of by people who in the past have been overly dependent or enmeshed with you.

What are the negative effects not detaching? If you are unable to detach from people, places or things, then you: * Will have people, places or things which become over-dependent on you. * Run the risk of being manipulated to do things for people, at places or with things which you do not really want to do. * Can become an obsessive “fix it” who needs to fix everything you perceive to be imperfect. * Run the risk of performing tasks because of the intimidation you experience from people, places or things. * Will most probably become powerless in the face of the demands of the people, places or things whom you have given the power to control you. * Will be blind to the reality that the people, places or things which control you are the uncontrollables and unchangeables you need to let go of if you are to become a fully healthy, coping individual. * Will be easily influenced by the perception of helplessness which these people, places or things project. * Might become caught up with your idealistic need to make everything perfect for people, places or things important to you even if it means your own life becomes unhealthy. * Run the risk of becoming out of control of yourself and experience greater low self-esteem as a result. * Will most probably put off making a decision and following through on it, if you rationally recognize your relationship with a person, place or thing is unhealthy and the only recourse left is to get out of the relationship. * Will be so driven by guilt and emotional dependence that the sickness in the relationship will worsen. * Run the risk of losing your autonomy and independence and derive your value or worth solely from the unhealthy relationship you continue in with the unhealthy person, place or thing.

Frey Freyday – What if?

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Anytime you write something, you go through so many phases. You go through the ‘I’m a Fraud’ phase. You go through the ‘I’ll Never Finish’ phase. And every once in a while you think, ‘What if I actually have created what I set out to create, and it’s received as such?’ Lin-Manuel Miranda –

What if? Do it no matter what. If you believe in it, it is something very honorable. If somebody around you or your family does not understand it, then that’s their problem. But if you do have a passion, an honest passion, just do it. Mario Andretti –

Every album, I’m worried that I’m a dork and a fraud – ‘What if I can’t sing anymore?’ Then I stop thinking and start playing guitar, and I realize that it’s okay to suck, and move forward. Pink –

A lot of amateurs are terrified of going up against a player who is clearly better than they are. They never play their best, because they aren’t comfortable. There’s one surefire way to get over that, and it’s to ask yourself, ‘What if I beat him?’ Imagine the possibility. Fuzzy Zoeller –

In society, we have these unspoken rules of conduct, these ‘shoulds.’ Even though we pride ourselves on being a democracy, there are all these ways we say you ‘should’ behave. But what if you’re living your life by the ‘shoulds’ and you’re not really living your life? Chris Noth –

WORDS TO LIVE BY:

What if?– A powerful question that can help or hurt your state of mind and creativity.

The question “What if?” can take us down a rabbit-hole; a good one or bad one.

We can sit around and ask bad “What if?” questions like, what if he is lying somewhere in a ditch, what if I try and fail, what if I make a fool of myself, and things like that. We all do it but it isn’t really productive or helpful. Often these questions are part of worrying, and they make us ‘visualize negatively’. In other words, we picture bad stuff in our head, we visualize bad scenarios, limitations and so forth rather than the opposite.

It is OK to naturally ask these in reaction or reflex to situations – our reptilian brain reacts a certain way sometimes. The best thing to do is if you ask a ‘bad’ or ‘disempowering’ “What if?” question, be aware of it, don’t judge it, don’t beat yourself up, just be aware and recognize it. Then try to come up with a few empowering “What if?” questions and focus on them.

We can also sit around and ask “What if?” in a good way – what if we succeed, what if I meet the right person, what if I say the right thing, what if I have all I need within me now,…and so forth. These are empowering questions.

If we ask our brain a question, like a computer, it will search for an answer, so asking good “What if” questions can bring results….

“What if?”- if humans didn’t ask this, so many wonderful things would simply not exist.: Movies, books, Disney World, airplanes, inventions, innovations, relationships, cures, medicine, treatments, healing, research, results, answers…..

Asking “What if?” opens our mind up. We see a universe of possibilities ahead. The world opens.

For some people, asking ‘what if’ feels risky because it means you might have to acknowledge that what you’ve worked hard to put in place might not be the best solution. But if we don’t have the courage to question our assumptions we’re choosing to stagnate by default.

Also, sometimes asking a different “What if?” question can help remove some fear and anxiety we may have about something – sometimes it is best to just address the worst case scenario – “What if I fail or what if it really goes wrong, what is the worst that can happen?” Seriously, I’ve asked myself this a few times and I find that it is disarming – maybe I fail, so what? The worst thing is sometimes not that bad. Even if it is, sometimes just stating it takes away the power. What if I fail? I learn things, I learn how not to do something, how to do it better, and that’s life. We often learn more from failures that from successes.

Think about it, “What if ….Thomas Edison didn’t turn failure into success, what if the Wright Brothers just stuck to bicycles, what if ……..so many things in our past came from someone asking “What if?”

For the future, what are some good “What if?” questions? What if we can find a better way to talk about policy and politics? What if we can reimagine how we construct houses? What if we find better ways to address poverty? What if a simple solution could change the world?

It is exciting, isn’t it?

What if today you realized that you are enough?

What if you finally understood that you are loved and that you are capable of doing almost anything?

What if you could make the changes you know you need to make?

What if you had the courage to take action and pursue that “one” thing, right now?

What if you told someone that you cared about how you really felt?

What if you made an effort to connect to someone who is struggling?

What if you made the world a little better today? What if things went your way today? What if you are lucky?

What if we found a better way to do something?

What if we really listened to each other?

What is your “What if?”

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

BONUS :

Interactive Website: https://www.thehenryford.org/explore/stories-of-innovation/what-if/

Article: The Power Of ‘What If’ https://www.forbes.com/sites/mikemyatt/2013/02/08/the-power-of-what-if/#ff50ff9589f3

%d bloggers like this: