Category Archives: what is motivation

Frey Freyday – Guilt

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Guilt-[gilt] -the fact or state of having committed an offense, crime, violation, or wrong, especially against moral or penal law; culpability:

People tend to dwell more on negative things than on good things. So the mind then becomes obsessed with negative things, with judgments, guilt and anxiety produced by thoughts about the future and so on. Eckhart Tolle

 With integrity, you have nothing to fear, since you have nothing to hide. With integrity, you will do the right thing, so you will have no guilt. Zig Ziglar

Guilt is cancer. Guilt will confine you, torture you, destroy you as an artist. It’s a black wall. It’s a thief. Dave Grohl

 No work or love will flourish out of guilt, fear, or hollowness of heart, just as no valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now. Alan Watts

We all feel the urge to condemn ourselves out of guilt, to blame others for our misfortunes and to fantasize about total disaster. Deepak Chopra

Guilt: punishing yourself before God doesn’t. Alan Cohen

Throughout life, the two most futile emotions are guilt for what has been done and worry about what might be done. Guilt; You can sit there forever, lamenting about how bad you’ve been, feeling guilty until you die, and not one tiny slice of that guilt will do anything to change a single thing in the past. Forgive yourself, then MOVE ON! Wayne Dyer

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Guilt – Like worry, it isn’t much use at all. Guilt is looking in the past. Guilt is about making ourselves feel bad to no avail.

What good does guilt do? Others scold us, tell us how we should feel. Often others are being critical or judgmental of our choices – or maybe we’re being critical or judgmental of others and causing guilt upon others. What does that solve? How is guilt useful?

Really, guilt is much like just an insult. We can make ourselves feel guilty or others can feel guilt by something we do or say, and we feel bad about it, like an insult. There is no lesson, no connection, no improvement.

Like worry, we’re churning up ill feelings inside about things we can no longer change.

Some of us use guilt as an excuse to love, to live, to take a chance or to grow.

Like an insult, or like feeling bad, no one can make you feel guilty without your permission.

With guilt, you can’t fully be present, you can’t fully love and live.

The next time you feel guilty for something, ask ‘Is this useful? Is it helpful? Does it make me feel good? Does it improve the situation?”

Release, let go of guilt: If you release guilt, much like forgiving yourself, you will remove a huge weight from your shoulders. Guilt is released through the empowering thought of love and respect for yourself. Forget about and let go of standards of perfection. Forget about your expectations and the expectations of others. Refuse to use up the precious currency of your life, the present moment, with thoughts that continue to berate, frustrate and weaken you.

Instead, learn from the moment, release it, and simply work to be better than you used to be, live in the present, all of which is the true test of nobility.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

BONUS  

TED TALK: We’ll go to the doctor when we feel flu-ish or a nagging pain. So why don’t we see a health professional when we feel emotional pain: guilt, loss, loneliness? Too many of us deal with common psychological-health issues on our own, says Guy Winch. But we don’t have to. He makes a compelling case to practice emotional hygiene — taking care of our emotions, our minds, with the same diligence we take care of our bodies.

https://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_the_case_for_emotional_hygiene

Frey Freyday – Money

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver.- Ayn Rand

Wealth is the ability to fully experience life. –Henry David Thoreau

WORD TO LIVE BY:

 mon·ey – [ˈmənē] – a medium that can be exchanged for goods and services and is used as a measure of their values on the market,including among its forms a commodity such as gold, an officially issued coin or note, or a deposit in a checkingaccount or other readily liquefiable account.

No matter what our career or place in life is, no matter what our life’s mission or purpose is, we need to master money at least on some level. Put simply, we must spend less than we earn, save at least a little for the future and plan for the future. We all know this, right?

Money can do great things in communities, charities, and in lives. It can also be the number one reason why marriages break up. I believe it is simply how we think about and talk about money – and yes, it needs to be discussed more often.

Before anyone does a financial plan, a budget, or whatever, I suggest that it may help to first understand some things and ask some questions….Why is it hard for many of us to save for the future (or invest)? Why does money make us behave in all sorts of weird ways?

From a Ted Talk by LAURIE SANTOS  “…..we’re the smartest thing out there. Why can’t we figure this out? In some sense, where do our mistakes really come from? And having thought about this a little bit, I have seen a couple different possibilities. One possibility is, in some sense, it’s not really our fault. Because we’re a smart species, we can actually create all kinds of environments that are super, super accommodated, sometimes too complicated for us to even actually understand, even though we’ve actually created them.”

So, Ms. Santos, and other scientists, has performed experiments on people and on monkeys. As we all know, sometimes people make bad, irrational decisions about money. Illogical, fearful, selfish, wasteful, impulsive, among other things. Guess what? Monkeys act in a very similar manner. Scientists gave monkeys coins and had them ‘pay’ for grapes. They gave them different scenarios, and like humans, they behaved irrationally in similar circumstances.

The one thing you can learn from scientists’s work, is that whatever strategies we’re using for money, especially those strategies that we share with monkeys, those kinds of strategies can’t be built in for money per se. They’re not for markets or for credit cards. They’re just strategies that we had sitting around in our primate brain that we’re adapting to money. And that might mean that they lead us astray.

Whether you’re looking at the dessert cart and you’re trying to avoid the temptation, or you see something that you want to buy NOW and you also want to save up for something in the FUTURE, you’re going to probably buy it NOW. If you’re seeing your stocks go down or you see losses on an investment or any financial transaction that generates fear or loss, you’re not going to be able to see that in anything but old evolutionary terms.

So what do we do? How do we overcome? Again, like Ms. Santos, the Ted speaker mentioned, “humans are not only smart, we’re really inspirationally smart to the rest of the animals in the biological kingdom. We’re so good at overcoming our biological limitations.”

In other words, we can’t fly to anywhere – but we invented machines that can fly us. Many of us have poor eyesight, yet we invented glasses, contacts and surgery to change our eyesight so that we can see. We, as a species, have invented technologies, machines and strategies to overcome our biology.

The irony is that it might only be in recognizing our limitations that we can really actually overcome them. The hope is that we all will think about our limitations, not necessarily as un-overcome-able, but to recognize them, accept them, and then use the world of design to actually figure them out.

Likewise, we can do so with money. A simple step is to make it automatic. Set up auto withdrawals so that you really don’t ‘see’ the money, it just automatically goes into savings. We can set up a financial plan with emotions in mind so that we can ‘protect our plan’ better. Use technologies, strategies, and rational methods to help you save, spend, and invest.

A few other quick thoughts:

  1. Languages that don’t have a future tense, such as Chinese, the Scandinavians and the Japanese, strongly correlate with higher savings.- this refers to the future using verb helpers like “will” and “shall,” while others don’t have specific verbs to refer to future actions.
  2. Can money buy happiness? In many ways, yes – money can buy happiness — especially when you don’t spend it on yourself. The key is social spending that benefits not just you, but other people.

We have to make it automatic and take out the impulses and emotions. We have to educate ourselves more, we have to change our vocabulary, perspective and long term thinking if we want to save for the future.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.
So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from..

 

BONUS

Ted Talk #1- Are We Wired To Be Bad With Money?

http://www.npr.org/2014/04/04/295349615/are-we-wired-to-be-bad-with-money

Ted Talk #2 – Could Your Language Affect Your Ability To Save Money?

http://www.npr.org/2014/04/04/295356139/could-your-language-affect-your-ability-to-save-money

Ted Talk #3 – Can Money Buy You Happiness?

http://www.npr.org/2014/04/04/297888687/can-money-buy-you-happiness

Frey Freyday – Smile

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.-Leo Buscaglia


A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.-William Arthur Ward


We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do.-Mother Teresa

The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.-Thomas Paine


A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside.-Denis Waitley


Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that’s beautiful.-Rashida Jones


Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles.-George Eliot


They might not need me; but they might. I’ll let my head be just in sight; a smile as small as mine might be precisely their necessity.-Emily Dickinson

There’s nothing I value more than the closeness of friends and family, a smile as I pass someone on the street.-Willie Stargell

Remember even though the outside world might be raining, if you keep on smiling the sun will soon show its face and smile back at you.-Anna Lee


I’ve had to learn to fight all my life – got to learn to keep smiling. If you smile things will work out.-Serena Williams

If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love.-Maya Angelou


Always wear a smile because you never know who is watching.-Gracie Gold

Bonus:

TED U Session 2: Smiles, bravery and serendipity

 the science behind our smiles, a tale of a valiant shoe rescue, and the “rich seed beds of serendipity.” 

Make THE decision in the right state of mind

Here is a great video that can help anyone with a tough decision, a tough situation, facing a situation or challenge that brings fear.

We all have to go outside a comfort level, we need to handle things without fear.

Our story can empower us or limit us.

http://getrmt.com/v1.php

Beliefs

UPW Tip of the Day: What is the force that determines what we try or fail to try to accomplish in our lives? It is our beliefs—about what we’re capable of, about what’s possible or impossible, about who we are. In Haitian culture, a person’s belief in the deadly power of the witch doctor “pointing the bone” can indeed cause death. But the real killer is a sense of certainty—the belief—not the witch doctor.http://bit.ly/upw-ny – Tony Robbins

What do you believe?

We all have beliefs, ideas, judgements, and expectations…

  • Beliefs about others,
  • Beliefs about the world, about luck, about their careers.
  • Beliefs about ourselves
  • Beliefs about fears and limitations.

What beliefs do you have about your fears and phobias? Do they serve you well? Do they empower you? Many of us have fears from our childhood or false/needless fears that hold us back, that limit us, and that just don’t really help us. Maybe it is time to reevaluate those fears?

What beliefs do you have about yourself – your talents, your goals, your successes and your failures? Do they serve you well?

Did you ever notice that our believe appear to be true, that they appear to be reality?
Becareful what you believe.

Once in a while I believe that we all need to step back and look at our own beliefs and evaluate them.

Do they help us? Do they empower us?
You can change your beliefs. You can change the meaning behind events and things around you.

\Your truth is the truth, so make it work for you, make it serve you and your world better.

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives. -Tony Robbins 

Why the heck are you doing it?

Why-Image
Why the heck are you doing it?
Why are you doing “IT”? Seriously why?
Why are you working at your job or pursuing the education or chasing that dream?
Why are you there?
Did you ever think about that?
Are you at your job so that you can bring peace and joy to your family?
Are you there so that someday you can save up and start your own business?
Why are you chasing that goal?
Seriously, take a moment and write it down. Spell out why you are doing something or why you are taking action.
(Also congrats for taking action and working or whatever you’re doing).
Why do you want a goal?
Spell it out.
Some people really benefit from writing it out in story form. “I am investing in this rental property so that it will be enough extra income so that I can take my family away to the cabin each year for 2 weeks, where we can get unplugged, enjoy time alone, connect with nature, and exercise in the wilderness.” (Just an example, make your own) Others benefit from some bullet points.
  • Make sure that you include powerful, positive emotions and experiences, words, images, and ideas. Don’t just write anything down, make it powerful and emotional – to you!
Don’t worry much about the “How”. That will take care of itself later. Our brains will work that out. Too many people get caught in ‘how’ they will do something and don’t focus enough on the why.
“If the Why is big enough, the How doesn’t matter?” Unknown.
For instance, I work hard and strive for extra income so that I can spend more time with my wife and daughters, so that we can go on trips or long weekends together, and enjoy fun, memory making events. I also do what I do so that I can save for retirement so that my wife and I can save and invest enough to have the option to slow down a little, if we chose to do so, after we reach a certain age. (I probably will still work but I prefer to have it be a choice rather than a necessity). Your “WHY” may be completely different. Maybe you do something for charity, or for a dream or hobby.
Knowing why you have to go through something, why you have to show up, why you have to do something helps you ‘show up’ in a better state of mind, to feel better about it, and to try harder at it. Think about a task that you have to do but don’t always enjoy.
Meaning is everything.
If you assign a good ‘why’ to it – a good meaning – you will probably approach it better and enjoy it, at least a little more right?
You can choose to ‘just go through the motions’ or you can actually do things with feeling, passion, enthusiasm. The latter is more fun and you’ll probably do a better job.
Spend time writing out your “WHY’s” as soon as you can.
My “why” for writing this blog many days a week is that I enjoy writing and pulling thoughts out of nothing, sharing great ideas from others, and for possibly helping just one person.
Please leave a comment and share your “WHY”.

Simple Stuff – action, work, opportunity

(Simple Stuff is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

I hope the millions of people I’ve touched have the optimism and desire to share their goals and hard work and persevere with a positive attitude. – Michael Jordan

I don’t pity any man who does hard work worth doing. I admire him. I pity the creature who does not work, at whichever end of the social scale he may regard himself as being. –Theodore Roosevelt

Talent in cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work. – Stephen King 

Usually, the best way to find the yellow brick road of your life, is to start out on the dusty, dirt one.
And then let yourself become so preoccupied in making the best of it, having fun, and challenging yourself that you actually stop paying attention to the path.
Until, one day, not so long from now, with a new best friend, wearing cool clothes, feeling awesome, a teeny tiny bit taller, fresh from a WOW vacation, looking for the path you just left, you’ll notice that it’s 24 carats… baby.
And you’ll wonder for a long, long time, sipping on some exotic fruit drink, when the transformation actually took place… – Michael Dooley – The Universe

 

Young people are threatened… by the evil use of advertising techniques that stimulate the natural inclination to avoid hard work by promising the immediate satisfaction of every desire. –Pope John Paul II

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.  –Thomas A. Edison

 

Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you. – Thomas Jefferson

Action is the foundational key to all success.- Pablo Picasso

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