Category Archives: what is inspiration

Frey Freyday – Money

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver.- Ayn Rand

Wealth is the ability to fully experience life. –Henry David Thoreau

WORD TO LIVE BY:

 mon·ey – [ˈmənē] – a medium that can be exchanged for goods and services and is used as a measure of their values on the market,including among its forms a commodity such as gold, an officially issued coin or note, or a deposit in a checkingaccount or other readily liquefiable account.

No matter what our career or place in life is, no matter what our life’s mission or purpose is, we need to master money at least on some level. Put simply, we must spend less than we earn, save at least a little for the future and plan for the future. We all know this, right?

Money can do great things in communities, charities, and in lives. It can also be the number one reason why marriages break up. I believe it is simply how we think about and talk about money – and yes, it needs to be discussed more often.

Before anyone does a financial plan, a budget, or whatever, I suggest that it may help to first understand some things and ask some questions….Why is it hard for many of us to save for the future (or invest)? Why does money make us behave in all sorts of weird ways?

From a Ted Talk by LAURIE SANTOS  “…..we’re the smartest thing out there. Why can’t we figure this out? In some sense, where do our mistakes really come from? And having thought about this a little bit, I have seen a couple different possibilities. One possibility is, in some sense, it’s not really our fault. Because we’re a smart species, we can actually create all kinds of environments that are super, super accommodated, sometimes too complicated for us to even actually understand, even though we’ve actually created them.”

So, Ms. Santos, and other scientists, has performed experiments on people and on monkeys. As we all know, sometimes people make bad, irrational decisions about money. Illogical, fearful, selfish, wasteful, impulsive, among other things. Guess what? Monkeys act in a very similar manner. Scientists gave monkeys coins and had them ‘pay’ for grapes. They gave them different scenarios, and like humans, they behaved irrationally in similar circumstances.

The one thing you can learn from scientists’s work, is that whatever strategies we’re using for money, especially those strategies that we share with monkeys, those kinds of strategies can’t be built in for money per se. They’re not for markets or for credit cards. They’re just strategies that we had sitting around in our primate brain that we’re adapting to money. And that might mean that they lead us astray.

Whether you’re looking at the dessert cart and you’re trying to avoid the temptation, or you see something that you want to buy NOW and you also want to save up for something in the FUTURE, you’re going to probably buy it NOW. If you’re seeing your stocks go down or you see losses on an investment or any financial transaction that generates fear or loss, you’re not going to be able to see that in anything but old evolutionary terms.

So what do we do? How do we overcome? Again, like Ms. Santos, the Ted speaker mentioned, “humans are not only smart, we’re really inspirationally smart to the rest of the animals in the biological kingdom. We’re so good at overcoming our biological limitations.”

In other words, we can’t fly to anywhere – but we invented machines that can fly us. Many of us have poor eyesight, yet we invented glasses, contacts and surgery to change our eyesight so that we can see. We, as a species, have invented technologies, machines and strategies to overcome our biology.

The irony is that it might only be in recognizing our limitations that we can really actually overcome them. The hope is that we all will think about our limitations, not necessarily as un-overcome-able, but to recognize them, accept them, and then use the world of design to actually figure them out.

Likewise, we can do so with money. A simple step is to make it automatic. Set up auto withdrawals so that you really don’t ‘see’ the money, it just automatically goes into savings. We can set up a financial plan with emotions in mind so that we can ‘protect our plan’ better. Use technologies, strategies, and rational methods to help you save, spend, and invest.

A few other quick thoughts:

  1. Languages that don’t have a future tense, such as Chinese, the Scandinavians and the Japanese, strongly correlate with higher savings.- this refers to the future using verb helpers like “will” and “shall,” while others don’t have specific verbs to refer to future actions.
  2. Can money buy happiness? In many ways, yes – money can buy happiness — especially when you don’t spend it on yourself. The key is social spending that benefits not just you, but other people.

We have to make it automatic and take out the impulses and emotions. We have to educate ourselves more, we have to change our vocabulary, perspective and long term thinking if we want to save for the future.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.
So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from..

 

BONUS

Ted Talk #1- Are We Wired To Be Bad With Money?

http://www.npr.org/2014/04/04/295349615/are-we-wired-to-be-bad-with-money

Ted Talk #2 – Could Your Language Affect Your Ability To Save Money?

http://www.npr.org/2014/04/04/295356139/could-your-language-affect-your-ability-to-save-money

Ted Talk #3 – Can Money Buy You Happiness?

http://www.npr.org/2014/04/04/297888687/can-money-buy-you-happiness

Choose How You Want to Feel

By Kare Anderson
Emmy-Winner | TEDx | Connective Behavior | Speaker | Columnist | Author | Strategist
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Breandan and Emma, the couple up the hill from me in Sausalito have been married 54 years, they proudly told me last year. They walked, hand-in-hand past my home each morning, usually laughing, smiling and pointing out things to each other along the way.

Originally from Ireland, they listened, in bed, to BBC News at dawn so they usually had a tidbit of news to share with me if they happened to pass my home when I was finishing my lame attempt at morning exercises in the back yard.

When Emma died suddenly, Breandan stopped walking. He stayed inside their home and ignored my knock on their door. Several times. Later, when he started walking again, he told me his son, a motivational speaker on leadership, suggested that he start saying positive self-affirmations every morning “to lift his mood.”

He retorted, “My mood doesn’t need lifting! It’s right where it’s supposed to be.” So his well-intentioned son then mailed him a card pack with cheery faces on one side and, on the other, a series of upbeat daily affirmations. The card pack was entitled ”Yes, I Can!” to which Breandan hotly responded (to me, but not his son, I gather) “No I won’t!”

Write Yourself Through Your Journey to a Better Emotional Place

That gift inspired Breandan to get out of the old chair he sat in most days, with a morose look on his face, and take action, but not in the way his son intended. He wrote his own collection of “realistic affirmations.” I figured that the sentiments reflected his way of responding to grief, his stubborn resistance to being told to feel better and his core attitude about living life as it happens. Some were darkly funny. Yet his basic resilience started to shine through as he finished writing his sayings by the end of the year. “Not every cloud has a silver lining so start liking the clouds.”

I thought of Breandan when I read that Norman Vincent Peale may have been wrong, at least for some people, when he advocated saying positive self-affirmations to lift one’s mood. That’s a startling revelation for many of us Americans who have been bombarded with self-help messages based on the belief that positive affirmations are entirely beneficial.

“Repeating positive self-statements may benefit certain people, such as those with high self-esteem, but backfire for the very people who need them the most,” concludes social psychology professor Dr. Joanne Wood. Even those with high self-esteem felt only slightly better after repeating a positive self-statement.

The news gets worse for those with a low self-image Wood and her colleagues found:

• People with high self-esteem are more likely than those with low self-esteem to try to improve their moods when they are sad, as well as to savor their moods when they are happy.

• Those with low self-esteem sometimes even try to dampen their happiness, and engaging with others on Facebook seems to reinforce that reaction.

Don’t Fight Those Feelings. Instead, Notice Them, Then Choose What to Feel

Like obsessing more about the elephant in the room after being told to ignore it, being told to repeat “get happy” sayings, when sad, can make us feel even more sad. As Ed Yong concluded, “Statements that contradict a person’s self-image, no matter how rallying in intention, are likely to boomerang.“ “Don’t believe everything you think. “Thoughts are just that – thoughts,” wrote Pocket Peace author Allan Lokos.

Instead, of trying to change your feelings (as cognitive therapy attempts to do) change how you choose to view your thoughts. That approach calls on us to be mindfully observing what we are thinking and feeling from a calm pool, so to speak, without getting repeatedly sucked into the downward swirl of them. As Thich Nhat Hanh wrote, “Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.”

Practicing this way we can notice what we are feeling in the moment without immediately reacting, thus becoming better at choosing how we want to act. This approach is called ACT:Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. To reinforce that practice, “think of yourself as a kind friend,” suggests Duke University psychology professor Mark Leary. That bolsters yourself-compassion and thus your happiness. “One is a great deal less anxious if one feels perfectly free to be anxious, and the same may be said of guilt,” Alan Watts wrote.

Breandan, by the way, has begun writing his memoir, describing some of the adventures he shared with Emma, the people they met and the joy of living with her “through thick and thin.” His writing enables him to take the ACT approach, to observing and accept his sadness at his wife’s passing and to choose to focus, instead, on the many of the happy times they enjoyed together. He showed me the quote he chose for the first page:

“In the end, just three things matter:

How well we have lived

How well we have loved

How well we have learned to let go” ~ Jack Kornfield

As Byron Katie would say, he is “loving what is.” See more ideas at my Quotable and Connected column at Forbes.

https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140716144633-7216756-choose-how-you-want-to-feel?_mSplash=1%5C&published=t

Frey Freyday – Moments

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.-Buddha

Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.-Omar Khayyam

Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible – it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.-Barbara de Angelis

It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped. Decide today who you will become, what you will give and how you will live. -Tony Robbins

In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.-Theodore Roosevelt

There is no end to education. It is not that you read a book, pass an examination, and finish with education. The whole of life, from the moment you are born to the moment you die, is a process of learning.-Jiddu Krishnamurti

Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.-Miguel Angel Ruiz

Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.-Oprah Winfrey

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.-Anne Frank

Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.-Gilda Radner

If you aren’t in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.-Jim Carrey

When you take a flower in your hand and really look at it, it’s your world for the moment. I want to give that world to someone else. Most people in the city rush around so, they have no time to look at a flower. I want them to see it whether they want to or not.-Georgia O’Keeffe

A question to ask yourself each moment that really lights fires, gongs bells, and summons resources is “What little, mortal, baby steps can I take today that will demonstrate expectancy, prepare for my dream’s manifestation, and above all, place me within reach of life’s magic?” –Please, ask this question and then take those steps, and I promise you’ll go down in history as a giant among your kind. It’s never too late, –    The Universe (www.tut.com) Mike Dooley

I do not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of the present. God has given me no control over the moment following.-Mahatma Gandhi

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.-Robert Frost

Frey Freyday – Smile

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.-Leo Buscaglia


A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.-William Arthur Ward


We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do.-Mother Teresa

The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.-Thomas Paine


A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside.-Denis Waitley


Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that’s beautiful.-Rashida Jones


Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles.-George Eliot


They might not need me; but they might. I’ll let my head be just in sight; a smile as small as mine might be precisely their necessity.-Emily Dickinson

There’s nothing I value more than the closeness of friends and family, a smile as I pass someone on the street.-Willie Stargell

Remember even though the outside world might be raining, if you keep on smiling the sun will soon show its face and smile back at you.-Anna Lee


I’ve had to learn to fight all my life – got to learn to keep smiling. If you smile things will work out.-Serena Williams

If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love.-Maya Angelou


Always wear a smile because you never know who is watching.-Gracie Gold

Bonus:

TED U Session 2: Smiles, bravery and serendipity

 the science behind our smiles, a tale of a valiant shoe rescue, and the “rich seed beds of serendipity.” 

Make THE decision in the right state of mind

Here is a great video that can help anyone with a tough decision, a tough situation, facing a situation or challenge that brings fear.

We all have to go outside a comfort level, we need to handle things without fear.

Our story can empower us or limit us.

http://getrmt.com/v1.php

Beliefs

UPW Tip of the Day: What is the force that determines what we try or fail to try to accomplish in our lives? It is our beliefs—about what we’re capable of, about what’s possible or impossible, about who we are. In Haitian culture, a person’s belief in the deadly power of the witch doctor “pointing the bone” can indeed cause death. But the real killer is a sense of certainty—the belief—not the witch doctor.http://bit.ly/upw-ny – Tony Robbins

What do you believe?

We all have beliefs, ideas, judgements, and expectations…

  • Beliefs about others,
  • Beliefs about the world, about luck, about their careers.
  • Beliefs about ourselves
  • Beliefs about fears and limitations.

What beliefs do you have about your fears and phobias? Do they serve you well? Do they empower you? Many of us have fears from our childhood or false/needless fears that hold us back, that limit us, and that just don’t really help us. Maybe it is time to reevaluate those fears?

What beliefs do you have about yourself – your talents, your goals, your successes and your failures? Do they serve you well?

Did you ever notice that our believe appear to be true, that they appear to be reality?
Becareful what you believe.

Once in a while I believe that we all need to step back and look at our own beliefs and evaluate them.

Do they help us? Do they empower us?
You can change your beliefs. You can change the meaning behind events and things around you.

\Your truth is the truth, so make it work for you, make it serve you and your world better.

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives. -Tony Robbins 

Why the heck are you doing it?

Why-Image
Why the heck are you doing it?
Why are you doing “IT”? Seriously why?
Why are you working at your job or pursuing the education or chasing that dream?
Why are you there?
Did you ever think about that?
Are you at your job so that you can bring peace and joy to your family?
Are you there so that someday you can save up and start your own business?
Why are you chasing that goal?
Seriously, take a moment and write it down. Spell out why you are doing something or why you are taking action.
(Also congrats for taking action and working or whatever you’re doing).
Why do you want a goal?
Spell it out.
Some people really benefit from writing it out in story form. “I am investing in this rental property so that it will be enough extra income so that I can take my family away to the cabin each year for 2 weeks, where we can get unplugged, enjoy time alone, connect with nature, and exercise in the wilderness.” (Just an example, make your own) Others benefit from some bullet points.
  • Make sure that you include powerful, positive emotions and experiences, words, images, and ideas. Don’t just write anything down, make it powerful and emotional – to you!
Don’t worry much about the “How”. That will take care of itself later. Our brains will work that out. Too many people get caught in ‘how’ they will do something and don’t focus enough on the why.
“If the Why is big enough, the How doesn’t matter?” Unknown.
For instance, I work hard and strive for extra income so that I can spend more time with my wife and daughters, so that we can go on trips or long weekends together, and enjoy fun, memory making events. I also do what I do so that I can save for retirement so that my wife and I can save and invest enough to have the option to slow down a little, if we chose to do so, after we reach a certain age. (I probably will still work but I prefer to have it be a choice rather than a necessity). Your “WHY” may be completely different. Maybe you do something for charity, or for a dream or hobby.
Knowing why you have to go through something, why you have to show up, why you have to do something helps you ‘show up’ in a better state of mind, to feel better about it, and to try harder at it. Think about a task that you have to do but don’t always enjoy.
Meaning is everything.
If you assign a good ‘why’ to it – a good meaning – you will probably approach it better and enjoy it, at least a little more right?
You can choose to ‘just go through the motions’ or you can actually do things with feeling, passion, enthusiasm. The latter is more fun and you’ll probably do a better job.
Spend time writing out your “WHY’s” as soon as you can.
My “why” for writing this blog many days a week is that I enjoy writing and pulling thoughts out of nothing, sharing great ideas from others, and for possibly helping just one person.
Please leave a comment and share your “WHY”.
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