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Frey Freyday – leader series-Abraham Maslow

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

This ‘leader-series’ is a sub-set of Frey Freydays – celebrities, influencers, icons and other people that are well-known that, although not perfect, have led an inspirational life in some way or have made some contribution to society, etc. and people from which we can learn. In no order and certainly the list is un-ending.

-ABRAHAM MASLOW

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. Abraham Maslow  –

What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself. Abraham Maslow  –

The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness. Abraham Maslow  –

What a man can be, he must be. This need we call self-actualization. Abraham Maslow  –

Marriage is a school itself. Also, having children. Becoming a father changed my whole life. It taught me as if by revelation. Abraham Maslow

Classic economic theory, based as it is on an inadequate theory of human motivation, could be revolutionized by accepting the reality of higher human needs, including the impulse to self actualization and the love for the highest values. Abraham Maslow  –

The story of the human race is the story of men and women selling themselves short. Abraham Maslow  –

If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life. Abraham Maslow  –

The fact is that people are good, Give people affection and security, and they will give affection and be secure in their feelings and their behavior. Abraham Maslow —

WORDS TO LIVE BY:

“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”

Abraham Maslow was an American psychologist who was best known for creating Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (see below), a theory of psychological health predicated on fulfilling innate human needs.

In short, he believed that every person has a strong desire to realize their full potential, to reach a level of “self-actualization”. The main point of that new movement was to emphasize the positive potential of human beings.

Maslow was concerned with questions such as, “Why don’t more people self-actualize if their basic needs are met? How can we humanistically understand the problem of evil?”

For me personally, when I was in college, I always had an interest in psychology. One of my favorite college professors introduced me to Maslow during class.

When I read and learned about Maslow, I just felt like I suddenly understood all of our thinking a little more. I could identify the theories in myself and others. I agreed with so many of the thoughts, quotes and theories put forth.

It also gave me hope, I am an optimist and I feel that I can make life better. Maslow suggests that we all can, if we find the needs, develop and self-actualize. It resonated with me; progress is good, living in the moment is good, we all have much more potential than we often realize, we should strive to be self-aware, people are mostly good, and so on…..

…Maslow’s philosophies are about goodness, responsibility, hope, being alive, potential…

  • I appreciate Maslow’s point of view that, “To be mentally healthy, individuals must take personal responsibility for their actions…”
  • I wish more people remembered his point; “Each person, simply by being, is inherently worthy.”
  • He also stressed, “to attain personal growth and understanding..”. While I don’t think that this may be everything in life, it is certainly important to me.So many of these concepts are still being discussed today, even though Maslow passed away suddenly of a heart attack in 1970.Human needs as identified by Maslow: (in order of the most basic to the higher levels)
  • I thought Maslow offers simple yet meaningful ideas that are applicable to anyone. They, like so many pieces of wisdom, his thoughts are relatively easy to understand, and worth being reminded about from time to time.

I also found a connection with Maslow’s concept known as Peak experiences, which as he stated, profound moments of love, understanding, happiness, or clarity, etc. It is in these moments where we feel more alive, happy, at peace, connected, etc. I remember the morning of one of my college psychology classes; I walked outside in the woods on a beautiful spring morning. I looked suddenly to the left and a deer was a few feet away chewing on something, just staring at me. We both stayed in the moment for a long time. I felt at peace, happy, connected, calm and strong. Later, sitting in class, the professor explained what a peak experience was, and I knew that I had a peak experience that very morning.

So many of these concepts are still being discussed today, even though Maslow passed away suddenly of a heart attack in 1970.

I thought Maslow offers simple yet meaningful ideas that are applicable to anyone. They, like so many pieces of wisdom, his thoughts are relatively easy to understand, and worth being reminded about from time to time.

Human needs as identified by Maslow: (in order of the most basic to the higher levels)

  •  “Basic needs or Physiological needs” of a human being: food, water, sleep, sex, homeostasis, and excretion.
  • “Safety Needs: Security, Order, and Stability”. Items important to the physical survival of the person. After we humans have basic nutrition, shelter and safety, we can accomplish more.
  • Next level of need is “Love and Belonging”, when we take care of ourselves physically, we can share ourselves with others.
  • The fourth level is achieved when individuals feel comfortable with what they have accomplished. Often referred to as the “Esteem” level, it talks about the need to be competent and recognized, such as through status and level of success.
  • Next is the “Cognitive” level, where individuals intellectually stimulate themselves and explore.
  • After that is the “Aesthetic” level, which is the need for harmony, order and beauty.
  • At the highest level, Maslow stated, “Need for Self-actualization” occurs when we reach a state of peace, connection and understanding when we approach or reach a level where we’re engaged in achieving their full potential.
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Frey Freyday – What if?

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Anytime you write something, you go through so many phases. You go through the ‘I’m a Fraud’ phase. You go through the ‘I’ll Never Finish’ phase. And every once in a while you think, ‘What if I actually have created what I set out to create, and it’s received as such?’ Lin-Manuel Miranda –

What if? Do it no matter what. If you believe in it, it is something very honorable. If somebody around you or your family does not understand it, then that’s their problem. But if you do have a passion, an honest passion, just do it. Mario Andretti –

Every album, I’m worried that I’m a dork and a fraud – ‘What if I can’t sing anymore?’ Then I stop thinking and start playing guitar, and I realize that it’s okay to suck, and move forward. Pink –

A lot of amateurs are terrified of going up against a player who is clearly better than they are. They never play their best, because they aren’t comfortable. There’s one surefire way to get over that, and it’s to ask yourself, ‘What if I beat him?’ Imagine the possibility. Fuzzy Zoeller –

In society, we have these unspoken rules of conduct, these ‘shoulds.’ Even though we pride ourselves on being a democracy, there are all these ways we say you ‘should’ behave. But what if you’re living your life by the ‘shoulds’ and you’re not really living your life? Chris Noth –

WORDS TO LIVE BY:

What if?– A powerful question that can help or hurt your state of mind and creativity.

The question “What if?” can take us down a rabbit-hole; a good one or bad one.

We can sit around and ask bad “What if?” questions like, what if he is lying somewhere in a ditch, what if I try and fail, what if I make a fool of myself, and things like that. We all do it but it isn’t really productive or helpful. Often these questions are part of worrying, and they make us ‘visualize negatively’. In other words, we picture bad stuff in our head, we visualize bad scenarios, limitations and so forth rather than the opposite.

It is OK to naturally ask these in reaction or reflex to situations – our reptilian brain reacts a certain way sometimes. The best thing to do is if you ask a ‘bad’ or ‘disempowering’ “What if?” question, be aware of it, don’t judge it, don’t beat yourself up, just be aware and recognize it. Then try to come up with a few empowering “What if?” questions and focus on them.

We can also sit around and ask “What if?” in a good way – what if we succeed, what if I meet the right person, what if I say the right thing, what if I have all I need within me now,…and so forth. These are empowering questions.

If we ask our brain a question, like a computer, it will search for an answer, so asking good “What if” questions can bring results….

“What if?”- if humans didn’t ask this, so many wonderful things would simply not exist.: Movies, books, Disney World, airplanes, inventions, innovations, relationships, cures, medicine, treatments, healing, research, results, answers…..

Asking “What if?” opens our mind up. We see a universe of possibilities ahead. The world opens.

For some people, asking ‘what if’ feels risky because it means you might have to acknowledge that what you’ve worked hard to put in place might not be the best solution. But if we don’t have the courage to question our assumptions we’re choosing to stagnate by default.

Also, sometimes asking a different “What if?” question can help remove some fear and anxiety we may have about something – sometimes it is best to just address the worst case scenario – “What if I fail or what if it really goes wrong, what is the worst that can happen?” Seriously, I’ve asked myself this a few times and I find that it is disarming – maybe I fail, so what? The worst thing is sometimes not that bad. Even if it is, sometimes just stating it takes away the power. What if I fail? I learn things, I learn how not to do something, how to do it better, and that’s life. We often learn more from failures that from successes.

Think about it, “What if ….Thomas Edison didn’t turn failure into success, what if the Wright Brothers just stuck to bicycles, what if ……..so many things in our past came from someone asking “What if?”

For the future, what are some good “What if?” questions? What if we can find a better way to talk about policy and politics? What if we can reimagine how we construct houses? What if we find better ways to address poverty? What if a simple solution could change the world?

It is exciting, isn’t it?

What if today you realized that you are enough?

What if you finally understood that you are loved and that you are capable of doing almost anything?

What if you could make the changes you know you need to make?

What if you had the courage to take action and pursue that “one” thing, right now?

What if you told someone that you cared about how you really felt?

What if you made an effort to connect to someone who is struggling?

What if you made the world a little better today? What if things went your way today? What if you are lucky?

What if we found a better way to do something?

What if we really listened to each other?

What is your “What if?”

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

BONUS :

Interactive Website: https://www.thehenryford.org/explore/stories-of-innovation/what-if/

Article: The Power Of ‘What If’ https://www.forbes.com/sites/mikemyatt/2013/02/08/the-power-of-what-if/#ff50ff9589f3

Frey Freyday – Lucky

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

LUCK – [lək] – success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one’s own actions:

People often remark that I’m pretty lucky. Luck is only important in so far as getting the chance to sell yourself at the right moment. After that, you’ve got to have talent and know how to use it. Frank Sinatra –

Inspiration is one thing and you can’t control it, but hard work is what keeps the ship moving. Good luck means, work hard. Keep up the good work. Kevin Eubanks –

The best luck of all is the luck you make for yourself. Douglas MacArthur –

I’ve found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances. Be more active. Show up more often. Brian Tracy –

Luck is where opportunity meets preparation. Seneca –

My success was due to good luck, hard work, and support and advice from friends and mentors. But most importantly, it depended on me to keep trying after I had failed. Mark Warner

Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get. Ray Kroc –

Luck has nothing to do with it, because I have spent many, many hours, countless hours, on the court working for my one moment in time, not knowing when it would come. Serena Williams –

A career path is rarely a path at all. A more interesting life is usual a more crooked, winding path of missteps, luck and vigorous work. It is almost always a clumsy balance between the things you try to make happen and the things that happen to you. Tom Freston –

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. Steven Wright –

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. Rodney Dangerfield –

WORD TO LIVE BY:

 

LUCK –

Did you ever notice that when something good happens, some people say something like, “Hey, You’re lucky.”  Often it doesn’t really sound like a compliment, in fact it sounds much like they are either dismissing your success to something that came from any other than you or your efforts.

 

Many times when someone is jealous, envious or just plain doesn’t understand how hard you’ve worked, they might say this…..

 

Imagine the situation: You may have practiced, worked hard, called, walked, trained, or taken some action for a long period of time with plans and consideration – all things they don’t necessarily see or know about in the moment. They see the moment of your success and for whatever reason, the word “lucky” can discount our efforts.

 

There may be moments or situations of luck, true – but it is then what you do with those opportunities that matter. We’ve all had opportunities come and go and we did nothing. Maybe it was luck that brought the moment to us but we didn’t act in time. Or perhaps we tried to act but we weren’t prepared to do enough. There are also other times when we had a chance, we were prepared enough, and we took it and used our talents to move ahead, to take advantage of the situation for the better.

 

Luck doesn’t come to those who wait around. One must go out and take action, “Keep Swinging” as they say – by honing one’s skills, keeping a good attitude and focus, and simply by taking consistent action, Luck finds us.

 

Luck is also very much about our focus and how we frame things – how we assign meaning to events in life. I know people who complain when they are busy, when they are not. They are unhappy by a variety of circumstances. These types of people never feel lucky even though “good things” do come their way. They’re often not much fun to be around either.

 

Similarly, I know people who have gone through tough times, who face adversity but they feel lucky for it, and they are grateful. I am confident that those people see more luck in the world and they probably create more of it too. Frankly, most of us like to be around people like this.

 

Like the Chinese proverb below about luck and fortune, two people can see the same event differently. We can choose to see our own lives as lucky if we choose to do so.

CHINESE PROVERB: Sāi Wēng lived on the border and he raised horses for a living. One day, he lost one of his prized horses. After hearing of the misfortune, his neighbor felt sorry for him and came to comfort him. But Sāi Wēng simply asked, “How could we know it is not a good thing for me?”

After a while, the lost horse returned and with another beautiful horse. The neighbor came over again and congratulated  Sāi Wēng on his good fortune. But Sāi Wēng simply asked, “How could we know it is not a bad thing for me?”

One day, his son went out for a ride with the new horse. He was violently thrown from the horse and broke his leg. The neighbors once again expressed their condolences to Sāi Wēng, but Sāi Wēng simply said, “How could we know it is not a good thing for me?” One year later, the Emperor’s army arrived at the village to recruit all able-bodied men to fight in the war. Because of his injury, Sāi Wēng’s son could not go off to war, and was spared from certain death.

 

I am lucky. My career, my family, my friends, my wife, my daughters – I was born into a great family and situation and many good things have come my way. I don’t always recognize or remember it but I am. How are you lucky?

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

 

You have the choice

https://onewebstrategy.wordpress.com/2017/05/10/you-have-the-choice/

Frey Freyday – Superheroes

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Superhero – [soo-per-heer-oh] -a fictional hero having extraordinary or superhuman powers; also : an exceptionally skillful or successful person

Dad is and always will be my living, breathing superhero. Bindi Irwin –

You can’t relate to a superhero, to a superman, but you can identify with a real man who in times of crisis draws forth some extraordinary quality from within himself and triumphs but only after a struggle. Timothy Dalton –

Every child’s first superhero is his father, and it was the same for me. For me, he was Superman and Batman combined. Tiger Shroff

Life hits you hard. But it takes you three seconds to decide if you are a superhero or not. I am. Hrithik Roshan –

WORD TO LIVE BY: Superheroes – something we all can be. Superpowers – something we all have.

When we were young, our mothers or fathers sometimes were our superheroes. We were amazed at what they did because we didn’t know much about the world. Years later after I’ve lost my father and mother, I still think that they are superheroes for different reasons – and because I now understand some of what they went through for me.

Superheroes- many of us have watched, enjoyed and identified with in some way. Superman seems to be the benchmark and the core superhero. The X-Men are often outcasts, adults and kids that are bullied, unique, and in many ways unable to ‘act like normal people’.

What does this have to do with us? How can this help us?

Most of us focus too much energy and time on our kryptonite, our weaknesses. We are often hard on ourselves. Sometimes it’s about guilt, shame, self-pity, excuses or fear.

Our gifts – our superpowers – often are overlooked or ignored. Like a superhero, we all have some superpowers. Maybe you’re good at math. Maybe you can tell a great story. Maybe you are patient, or you show empathy, or you can make the complex seem simple. Your humor?

Maybe you haven’t ‘activated’ all of your superpowers yet.

Some of us have overcome significant things; abuse, addiction, bullying, cancer, and other things that we all encounter in life. Some of us have been independent and we can lead others. Some of us are great at support.

Like a superhero, we can’t do everything. But you are good at some things – and probably really good at 3 things, at least.

If you want to get religious, Jesus even said, “they will do even greater things than these”.

Take a moment and think about your superpowers. Come on, since you were in elementary school, something always came easy for you. It was innate.

Every person that you come across can benefit from the superpowers that you have within you.

For me, I communicate – I enjoy writing things like this, personal notes, reaching out to people, etc. It has always been that way and I don’t think I could stop if I wanted. Many people like it, a few don’t. I can use it for work, or for business. I can use it for good.

What are your superpowers? How can you use them more? To help others? To enhance your career? Your relationships? Your health?

Start focusing more on your strengths and superpowers. Develop your existing superpowers more and see if you can develop new ones.

(What is your superhero pose that helps you be more confident before a meeting?)

Is it childish? I think not. Is it playful? Creative? Fun? Imaginative? Yes. We can benefit from a little more fun each day. Think of all the imagination and fun you experienced as a kid. A little of that now might help from time to time.

Each of us has a purpose, each of us has incredible things to accomplish and to contribute to the world.

Remember, with great power comes great responsibility. Uncle Ben in Spiderman”

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

BONUS:
Amy Cuddy’s “Wonder Woman pose” TED TALK

 

Technology that matters

3 advancements that will impact humanity in a big way

From artificial intelligence to genome mapping – the world of tech and biotech is exploding, adding new levels of efficiency and opportunity to the world. In many ways, we’re starting to live in the future we’ve always envisioned; just think, self-driving cars are already hitting the roads. But even amidst this ocean of innovation, there are some technological advancements that stand apart from the rest. Because these innovations aren’t just breaking technology barriers, they’re literally changing the world and giving mankind a new lease on life.

STEM CELL TREATMENT

Every year, more than 795,000 people in the United States have a stroke. And about 140,000 of those victims will lose their life. For those that survive, however, long-term disability is a serious risk. Depending on the severity of the stroke and the damage it creates on the brain, some individuals are left without the ability to walk or even speak. But breakthrough innovations in stem cell research are giving hope to this grim situation.

A clinical trial out of the Stanford University School of Medicine, led by professor and chair of neurology at Stanford, Dr. Gary Steinberg, looked at 18 individuals whom had all suffered their first and only stroke 6 months to 3 years from the time of the trial. All participants in the study had lost motor function abilities as a result of their stroke – some were unable to move their arm, while others were unable to walk.

Each patient underwent stem cell transplantation – which involved injecting modified, human, adult stem cells directly into the stroke-damaged areas of the brain.

After the transplantation, each patient was closely monitored and within just a month of the procedure, the researchers saw discernible signs of recovery and improvement that continued and have been sustained for at least a year. One participant regained sensation in both her right arm and leg following the surgery.

Researchers believe that this treatment not only carries great weight for stroke victims, but for those who suffer from a number of brain-related issues, from traumatic brain injury to neurodegenerative disorders. This could mean that a diagnosis for Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s or Lou Gehrig’s disease (ALS) is not a life sentence. In fact, a current trial at Cedars-Sinai Medical center has recently begun recruiting patients who suffer from ALS to undergo a unique approach to stem cell treatment.

3D BIOPRINTING

There is a massive shortage of organs available for lifesaving transplants. In the U.S. alone, someone is added to the national transplant waiting list every 20 minutes. And with more than 120,000 people on the list, an estimated 20 people die each day while waiting for their number to be called.

But what if there was a way to prevent people from dying needlessly? What if we could even find a way to make the transplant list a thing of the past? That’s the idea behind bio-printing – an emerging technology that allows three-dimensional printers to create living tissue and even entire organs.

The printer is loaded with cartridges of living cells called “bio-ink.” The bio-ink is then dispensed from the printer, along with a dissolvable gel designed to support and protect the cells during the printing process. Once the architecture is set, the cells have the internal programming to create the final tissue and will automatically fuse together forming a solid piece of living tissue.

Today, one of the pioneers of bio-printing is the San Diego-based Organovo, where scientists have already made substantial headway building human tissue. While this is indeed a major step towards building entire organs, it also has an immediate value prop. With lab-grown tissue, researchers would be able to test pharmaceuticals and cosmetics on functional human tissues, which is vastly more effective, more accurate and more ethical than animal trials. Lab-grown tissues could also be used to help repair or replace damaged or diseased tissues on the human body.

MARINE RENEWABLES 

Harvesting fossil fuels is not only costly, but dangerous. The fracking method, which is used for 60% of all new oil and gas wells, consumes large amounts of water, then subsequently contaminates the water so severely that it cannot even be cleaned in a treatment plant. Stray gas (including carcinogenic chemicals like methane) from fracking wells also have the ability to cause serious health concerns for those nearby. Oil spills and leaks are also too frequent and too devastating to take lightly (just recently, the Keystone Pipeline spilled about 210,000 gallons in South Dakota). Then, when we burn fossil fuels we release carbon dioxide into the atmosphere which raises the planet’s average temperature. This has a number of implications from melting polar ice caps to sea level rise to changes in rainfall patterns.

This is just the tip of the iceberg (so to speak) of why sustainable clean energy is so paramount. And one of the most exciting and promising sources of renewable energy comes from the ocean.

There are 22 major ocean currents that flow for massive distances around the world. These currents move massive amounts of water in a relatively consistent way. Since water is more than 800 times denser than air, water moving 12 miles per hour exerts the same amount of force as a constant 110 mph wind. This type of force can be harnessed and converted into a massive amount of energy. It’s clean, reliable, predictable power.

The biggest challenges to this point has been building sustainable hardware out at sea and finding more cost-efficient methods of maintenance. The technology is still in early stages of development. But there have been a substantial number of innovations involving tidal current turbines. In fact, just last year Nova innovation launched the “Shetland Tidal Array” – the world’s first set of tidal turbines, which were connected to the electricity grid in the United Kingdom. Another company, Ocean Power Technologies, has deployed their “PowerBuoy” that converts wave energy into electrical energy.

The need for an innovative solution for renewables is so important that the US Department of Energy launched the OPEN 2018, which will support America’s top innovators with $100 million. The fund will back early-stage research and development projects, and marine energy is sure to be a key player involved.

Author:

Kerry SongKerry Song is a writer and producer with a background in economics and finance. Her passion is to create meaningful content that engages and empowers the audience to become more mindful and more compassionate with themselves and with others.

Frey Freyday – Identity

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

 i·den·ti·ty – ˌīˈden(t)ədē/ -noun: -the fact of being who or what a person or thing is.

 Food is not rational. Food is culture, habit, craving and identity. Jonathan Safran Foer –

The ego is only an illusion, but a very influential one. Letting the ego-illusion become your identity can prevent you from knowing your true self. Ego, the false idea of believing that you are what you have or what you do, is a backwards way of assessing and living life. Wayne Dyer –

In the egoic state, your sense of self, your identity, is derived from your thinking mind – in other words, what your mind tells you about yourself: the storyline of you, the memories, the expectations, all the thoughts that go through your head continuously and the emotions that reflect those thoughts. All those things make up your sense of self. Eckhart Tolle –

An identity would seem to be arrived at by the way in which the person faces and uses his experience. James Baldwin –

We have to really educate ourselves in a way about who we are, what our real identity is. Deepak Chopra –

WORD TO LIVE BY:
Identity – something that we believe about ourselves that influences what we do, what we see, how we act, and in most instances, most of the aspects of our life. It can be changed.

So today when you woke up, did you buy a pack of cigarettes?

For those of you who are not smokers you said, “No!”. Why? Because your identity is a non-smoker. You might answer the question, “No, I am not a smoker.” Smokers identify as such and therefore would answer yes.

If I asked, ‘did you kill anyone?”, might gasp and strongly say “No!”. (Same here.)

Why? Because we do not identify ourselves as murderers. Our identity is such that we are averse to anything that a murderer would do, think, and “BE”.

Those are two stark, clear examples of Identity. Each day we deal with many more less clear examples.

  • Are we someone who follows through and finishes things.
  • Do we speak up?
  • Are we giving?
  • Do we have self-integrity, do we do the right thing even when others are not looking?
  • Do we eat healthy? Do we exercise?

All of these things, and many more small incremental things, are part of our identity. Our identities can help and empower us, or they can hinder or hold us back.

How many times have you heard someone say: “I wasn’t (or was) raised like that”? And why does that matter to us? It matters because you have sourced your identity from your childhood, and from the person who raised you, so those are the beliefs you will always align yourself with.

When you were a child, whose love did you crave the most? By examining your childhood, and understanding whose love you craved most, you can get a more clear explanation of why you see yourself the way you do.

Realize this, your identity (and many of the preconceptions that you have about the world) was created when you were a child. For many of us, the identity and preconceptions have not changed! Do you think that some of these things could and should be updated? It might be empowering, enjoyable, healthy, and better for us to examine what our identity is and if it is accurate.

So, our identity can affect almost everything in our life. If you want to lose weight, if you want to go and invest in real estate, go volunteer, go bring in new leads or business, go for a new goal in life.

I can say that I want to do something and even start doing some actions toward that, but if it is not congruent with my identity, I will face a lot of internal resistance.

Example; I know that my identity is no longer that of a long-distance runner. If I decided to run a marathon, training would be so difficult and I would likely fall-off the regimen because that is not my identity. For others, they get up at 5am in all kinds of weather and run for miles – it IS their identity. But we can change our identity.

  • If we want to become someone else, we must do things outside our comfort zone and we have to imagine ourselves as we want things to be – like Stephen Covey said – think from the end.
  • You are where your attention is.
  • Ask, “Who would I be, what would I do, how would I feel if I already had _________” –Jim Fortin
  • What characteristics would you have as the person that you want to be? (responsible, leader, visionary, commitment, integrity)
  • See things as you want them to be, not as they are.
  • Never say, “I can’t do it because ______”, instead say, “What if I could ______?”
  • Catch yourself and ask better questions.
  • Imagine the ‘new you’.
  • Claim your identity in the present tense. Example: “I am a writer.” And ask “Why am I a writer?”

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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