Category Archives: reframing

Frey Freyday – Rejection

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

rejection -[rəˈjekSH(ə)n] –NOUN the dismissing or refusing of a proposal, idea,

We all learn lessons in life. Some stick, some don’t. I have always learned more from rejection and failure than from acceptance and success. Henry Rollins

The biggest hurdle is rejection. Any business you start, be ready for it. The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is the successful people do all the things the unsuccessful people don’t want to do. When 10 doors are slammed in your face, go to door number 11 enthusiastically, with a smile on your face. John Paul DeJoria

I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat. Sylvester Stallone

Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don’t base your self-esteem on their opinions. Harvey Mackay

 WORD TO LIVE BY:
Rejection – a necessary thing that we all go through, it’s how you frame it that matters.

Some of us may think rejection is this thing that happens all the time, so what happens is that so many people guide their life based on this fear that they’re going to be rejected, so they don’t take action and don’t start new things or chase their dreams because they’re worried about what other people are going to think. It may be love, sports, business, education, whatever….

They’re going to be rejected and deemed unworthy, unlovable or not adequate in some way or another and you think, that’s so sad, because rejection, the actual form of rejection that shapes people’s identity and hurts them, happens so rarely. If you don’t believe it then that’s an internal fear, not the reality of the universe.

According to Brendon Burchard, there is some real, basic data. Brendon has traveled around the globe, well over most of the globe now, and here’s what he found out over and over again.

He always do this little simple activity where he says, ‘if you’ve ever been rejected in a way where it hurt, it actually hurt and formed and shaped your identity in a way, it was a significant hurt that you felt and it changed how you felt about yourself and what you might want to accomplish in the world. If you’ve ever felt that before would you raise your hand?’ Everyone raises their hand.

Then Brendon says, ‘if you’ve ever been rejected by, let’s say, three people, who really rejected you in that way that you were shot down, hurt and it changed who you are and what you wanted to accomplish in life. How many times has that ever happened with three people?’.. A bunch of people raise their hands again and he starts escalating that number from three, to five to seven, to ten, fifteen, twenty. and thirty.

Here’s what’s amazing. Brendon states that he has done this all over the world with audiences with thousands of people in them and here’s the average across all those audiences, all around the world, it doesn’t matter the culture. The average number is about seven.

So anywhere between five and seven, meaning, people say between five and seven people hurt their feelings enough with a real rejection, not one of those, “Well I’m sorry I can’t go out with you I’m washing my hair” stuff. I mean someone who really criticized you and rejected you in a way that it hurt. The average person says five to seven people rejected them like that.

There are some people who have more than that. I’m saying the average is five to seven and yet so many people when this is asked, how many of you are so scared of rejection that almost everyone raises their hand.

It’s like wait a second, we’re scared of something that barely ever happens?

 

If you think about it, we get rejected all the time – from when we were a baby. Rejection is a necessary way of learning, improving, making our approach better. Too often we get scared of the simple idea that we may get rejected and overlook the benefits of the experience, what we’ll learn from the rejection, the efforts, the new relationships, the new steps we’re taking, etc. – and we often lose sight that we may not get rejected at all and we may succeed. It is worth the risk.

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

BONUS  :

TED Talks to help you shake off rejection

Everyone faces rejection, sometimes on repeat. These speakers experienced a barrage of ‘no’s, but were able to push past the disappointment and keep on going. May their resilience inspire you.

https://www.ted.com/playlists/234/talks_to_help_you_shake_off_re

Frey Freyday – Risk

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

RISK – exposure to the chance of injury or loss;

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. T. S. Eliot

The biggest risk is not taking any risk… In a world that changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks. Mark Zuckerberg

The risk of a wrong decision is preferable to the terror of indecision. Maimonides

If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary. Jim Rohn

There are 30,000 days in your life. When I was 24, I realized I’m almost 9,000 days down. There are no warm-ups, no practice rounds, no reset buttons. Your biggest risk isn’t failing, it’s getting too comfortable. Every day, we’re writing a few more words of a story. I wanted my story to be an adventure and that’s made all the difference. Drew Houston

We must have courage to bet on our ideas, to take the calculated risk, and to act. Everyday living requires courage if life is to be effective and bring happiness. Maxwell Maltz

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Risk – we all face risks each day, some perceived, some not.

Each day many of us risk our lives hurtling ourselves and our loved ones in a potentially deadly situation, where only a thin line of paint separates us from strangers who could cause us death or severe bodily injury. We face this every day and almost never think about it, and we casually, confidently overcome it. Yes, this is driving on the road.

Think about it, we’ll trust hundreds or thousands of total strangers with our lives – we trust that they will obey the rules and lines of the road and not run into us. Yet, many times we don’t trust loved ones in our lives – or we don’t trust ourselves to take a risk.

Risk is about how you frame it, how you perceive it.

Risk started the day you took your first breath out of the womb. Risk brings both failure and success, and certainly brings education and experience.

To change, to grow, we must take risks.

Noah St. John, author and owner of http://noahstjohn.com/writes:

Here are 3 main benefits of risk-taking:

  1. You face your fear.

And once you face that fear, that fear can’t run your life any more.

  1. You become stronger.

Once you realize that you are stronger than your fear, you often discover that you’re stronger than you thought you were.

  1. Your life changes in ways you couldn’t have predicted or imagined.

(More on this in the Bonus link below)

 

Let’s not get confused with a careless or reckless risk – in this case we’re talking about calculated and thoughtful risks.

What are we waiting for anyhow? This is not a rehearsal, this is the final performance. Go for it.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

BONUS  

The Benefits of Taking Risks

https://onewebstrategy.wordpress.com/2015/12/17/the-benefits-of-taking-risks/

Frey Freyday- Perspective

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.-Marcus Aurelius

Human beings are natural mimickers. The more you’re conscious of the other side’s posture, mannerisms, and word choices – and the more you subtly reflect those back – the more accurate you’ll be at taking their perspective.-Daniel H. Pink

When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears. It is all about perspective.Tony Robbins

There are no facts, only interpretations.― Friedrich Nietzsche

We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.― Abraham Lincoln

When you wake up every day, you have two choices. You can either be positive or negative; an optimist or a pessimist. I choose to be an optimist. It’s all a matter of perspective.-Harvey Mackay


If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.-Wayne Dyer

Keep your perspective…..Remember, you’ve been through tough times before and your circumstances will change. The struggle will  lessen. It will hurt less one day. Trust things will improve. This too shall pass. Even if life stinks right now, you have to believe things will get better, there will be light soon, you will make it through. Remember your blessings and strength and values and dreams… those things will keep you grateful and ready.- Brendon Burchard

Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be. – George Carlin

WORDS TO LIVE BY:

Perspective [per-spek-tiv] – the state of one’s ideas, the facts known to one, etc., in having a meaningful interrelationship.

There are two things to consider with perspective….

  • Perspective about life, circumstances, your job, situation, etc.- If you change your perspective on or about any situation, it can change how you feel, think, and act about it – sometimes dramatically:… You may not like the job you have but to someone unemployed and struggling, they’d do almost anything to have your job….. You’re bored with life and you don’t have motivation but to someone terminally ill or paralyzed, your life is a dream. Often we aren’t aware of things around us and we can only see our situation from one angle. It can be as simple as the example of the ‘glass half full’. It can be something such as ‘life is a gift’ and seeing everything from that perspective. Gratitude is a wonderful perspective that helps us everyday in all situations – you can’t be fearful or angry or unhappy if you are grateful. Perspective allows you know realize that you always have choices, you can overcome, you have it much better than you think, and whatever your perspective is, it is correct! In other words, if you perceive that the world is bad or people are bad, then is generally is….and vice versa.
  • Happiness, productivity, health, relationships, money – so many things can be affected. Let’s just take happiness –by reframing a situation or part of our lives can make us happier: the power of reframing things cannot be overstated. What we have is exactly the same thing, the same activity, but one of them makes you feel great and the other one, with just a small change of posture, makes you feel terrible. Choice and uncertainty change our perspectives. Make sure that you understand that there is always another choice. Look for ways to find certainty. (Cognitive reframing is a psychological technique that consists of identifying and then disputing irrational or maladaptive thoughts. Reframing is a way of viewing and experiencing events, ideas, concepts and emotions to find more positive alternatives.)

–Change your perspective and you can change everything! Change the meaning associated with an event, a comment, a situation and you can handle it much differently.

  •  Perspective in regards to the ‘other person’s point of view’ – In any relationship it helps immensely to see the other person’s point of view. To be a leader, you really need to see other’s points of view. To negotiate better, to be a better doctor, nurse, sales person, employer, teacher, etc., it helps to see the other person’s perspective. Ironically, the more you know about the other person’s needs and wants, the better you can sometimes address your own. Perspective puts it all in perspective. In other words, what we take for granted, others envy. Seeing the other person’s view point also gives us a fresh look at our own lives and helps us reflect and grow.

What one thing can you see differently today?

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called Words To Live By”(WTLB).
Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally,sometimes accidentally.
……So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….
–-

BONUS- Ted Talk – Perspective

http://www.ted.com/talks/rory_sutherland_perspective_is_everything

The circumstances of our lives may matter less than how we see them, says Rory Sutherland. At TEDxAthens, he makes a compelling case for how reframing is the key to happiness.

REFRAMING:

(From http://changingminds.org/techniques/general/reframing.htm )

To reframe, step back from what is being said and done and consider the frame, or ‘lens’ through which this reality is being created. Understand the unspoken assumptions, includingbeliefs and schema that are being used.

Then consider alternative lenses, effectively saying ‘Let’s look at it another way.’ Challenge the beliefs or other aspects of the frame. Stand in another frame and describe what you see. Change attributes of the frame to reverse meaning. Select and ignore aspects of words, actions and frame to emphasise and downplay various elements.

Thus, for example, you can reframe:

  • A problem as an opportunity
  • A weakness as a strength
  • An impossibility as a distant possibility
  • A distant possibility as a near possibility
  • Oppression (‘against me’) as neutral (‘doesn’t care about me’)
  • Unkindness as lack of understanding

You can often change a person’s frame simply by changing their emotional state, making them happier, more aggressive, etc. When they are happier, for example, they will be more positive and optimistic (and vice versa).

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