Category Archives: motivation for

7 Steps for Creating the Life YOU Want

7 Steps for Creating the Life YOU Want

Stairway in blue heavensWe all aspire to do, be and have great things. Yet most of us simply aren’t creating the results we want. We complain that we don’t have enough money, romance, success or joy in our lives. We point fingers and blame outside problems that “happen” to us and make life more difficult. But what we need to understand and keep at the forefront of our minds is that greatness exists in all of us. It is simply up to us to pull it out of ourselves. Regardless of personal circumstances, economic climates, and access to resources, it helps to maintain faith in the fact we each are more powerful than we think. We all have the ability to create the life we want. We just need to learn how to do it. Is there an exact “formula”? No, but there are certain common features that successful people exhibit and that anyone can practice. They are what can jumpstart your success and attract what you want in life. You’d be hard pressed to find any high achiever who doesn’t live by the following 7 tips:

1. Take No Less than 100% Responsibility for Your Life

One of the greatest myths that is pervasive in our culture today is that you are entitled to a great life and that somehow, somewhere, someone is responsible for filling our lives with continual happiness, exciting career options, nurturing family time and blissful personal relationships simply because we exist. But the real truth is that there is only one person responsible for the quality of the life you live. That person is you. Everything about you is a result of your doing or not doing. Income. Debt. Relationships. Health. Fitness level. Attitudes and behaviors. That person who reflects back at you in the mirror is the chief conductor in your life. Say hello! I think everyone knows this in their hearts, but the mind can play games, tricking plenty of people into thinking external factors are the source of failure, disappointment, and unhappiness. But the truth of the matter is that external factors don’t determine how you live. You are in complete control of the quality of your life. Successful people take full responsibility for the thoughts they think, the images they visualize, and the actions they take. They don’t waste their time and energy blaming and complaining. They evaluate their experiences and decide if they need to change them or not. They face the uncomfortable and take risks in order to create the life they want to live.

2. Be Clear Why You’re Here

I believe each of us is born with a life purpose. Identifying, acknowledging and honoring this purpose is perhaps the most important action successful people take. They take the time to understand what they’re here to do, and then they pursue that with passion and enthusiasm. If you don’t know what you’re supposed to be doing, then just tune in to the signals around you. Looking toward others for help and guidance is helpful, but don’t forget to stay tuned in to yourself—your behavior, attitude, likes and dislikes, and life experiences. Identify what’s working and what isn’t. If you need to, write it all down. You might be surprised by what you discover.

3. Decide What You Want

It sounds so simple, but here’s the problem: I see plenty of people who are overly-busy yet who feel unsatisfied and unfulfilled. They are physically tired, spiritually drained, and far from where they’d like to be—as if they’ve been running on a treadmill going nowhere fast. Why? Because they haven’t clearly mapped out what they want and then taken the steps to get there. Rather than identifying specific goals, milestones, and dreams (and I’m talking BIG dreams and goals here), they go through the motions day in and day out tackling unimportant tasks. They end up…you guessed it…going in circles and wasting lots of energy. In the meanwhile, they grow increasingly uninspired and out of touch with their authentic selves. This, of course, sets anyone up to living a life out of balance. One of the main reasons why most people don’t get what they want is they haven’t decided what they want. They haven’t defined their desires in clear and compelling detail. What does success look like to you? Not everybody’s definition of success is the same, nor should it be. Don’t let your inner devil’s advocate (or that incessant but unimportant To Do list) inhibit you from dreaming big. As soon as you commit to a big dream and really go after it, your subconscious creative mind will come up with big ideas to make it happen. You’ll start attracting the people, resources, and opportunities you need into your life to make your dream come true. Big dreams not only inspire you, but they also compel others to want to play big, too.

4. Believe It Is Possible

Scientists used to believe that humans responded to information flowing into the brain from the outside world. But today, they’re learning that instead we respond to what the brain, based on previous experience, expects to happen next. In fact, the mind is such a powerful instrument; it can deliver literally everything you want. But you have to believe that what you want is possible. As you commit to believing in yourself, also make a commitment to toning down the complaint department. Look at what you are complaining about. I’m fat. I’m tired. I can’t get out of debt. I won’t ever get a better job. I can’t stand the relationship I have with my father. I’ll never find a soulmate in life. Really examine your complaints. More than likely you can do something about them. They are not about other people, other things, or other events. They are about YOU.

5. Believe in Yourself

If you are going to be successful in creating the life of your dreams, you have to believe that you are capable of making it happen. Whether you call it self-esteem, self-confidence or self-assurance, it is a deep-seated belief that you have what it takes; the abilities, inner resources, talents and skills to create your desired results. Have unwavering faith in yourself, for good and bad. Make the decision to believe that you create all your experiences. You will experience successes thanks to you, and you will experience pain, struggle, and strife thanks to you. Sounds a little strange, but accepting this level of responsibility is uniquely empowering. It means you can do, change, and be anything. Stumbling blocks become just that—little hills to hop over.

6. Become an Inverse Paranoid

This one is straightforward: Imagine how much easier it would be to succeed in life if you were constantly expecting the world to support you and bring you opportunity. Successful people do just that.

7. Unleash the Power of Goal Setting

Experts on the science of success know the brain is a goal-seeking organism. Whatever goal you give to your subconscious mind, it will work day and night to achieve. To engage you subconscious mind, a goal has to be measurable. When there aren’t any criteria for measurement, it is simply something you want, a wish, a preference, or a good idea. Sometimes we need to make just one initial goal to get started, and that’s okay. At least it comes with a few actions to achieve. A first step simply can be making an immediate change in a single area in your life. Are you unhappy about something that is happening right now? Make requests that will make it more desirable to you, or take the steps to change it yourself. Making a change might be uncomfortable and overwhelming for you. It might mean you have to put in more time, money, and effort. It might mean that someone gets upset about it, or makes you feel bad about your decision. It might be difficult to change or leave a situation, but staying put is your choice so why continue to complain? You can either do something about it or not. It is your choice and you have responsibility for your choices. Bear in mind that you have to be willing to change your behavior if you want a different outcome. You have to be willing to take the risks necessary to get what you want. If you’ve already taken an initial step in the right direction, now’s the time to plan more steps to keep moving you forward faster. Isn’t it a great relief to know that you can make your life what you want it to be? Isn’t it wonderful that your successes do not depend on someone else? So if you need just one thing to do different today than you did yesterday, make it this: Commit to taking 100% responsibility for every aspect of your life. Decide to make changes, one step at a time. Once you start the process you’ll discover it is much easier to get what you want by taking control of your thoughts, your visualizations, and your actions!


  WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete statement with it: Jack Canfield, America’s #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul®and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you’re ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com

Frey Freyday – Moments

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.-Buddha

Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.-Omar Khayyam

Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible – it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.-Barbara de Angelis

It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped. Decide today who you will become, what you will give and how you will live. -Tony Robbins

In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.-Theodore Roosevelt

There is no end to education. It is not that you read a book, pass an examination, and finish with education. The whole of life, from the moment you are born to the moment you die, is a process of learning.-Jiddu Krishnamurti

Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.-Miguel Angel Ruiz

Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.-Oprah Winfrey

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.-Anne Frank

Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.-Gilda Radner

If you aren’t in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.-Jim Carrey

When you take a flower in your hand and really look at it, it’s your world for the moment. I want to give that world to someone else. Most people in the city rush around so, they have no time to look at a flower. I want them to see it whether they want to or not.-Georgia O’Keeffe

A question to ask yourself each moment that really lights fires, gongs bells, and summons resources is “What little, mortal, baby steps can I take today that will demonstrate expectancy, prepare for my dream’s manifestation, and above all, place me within reach of life’s magic?” –Please, ask this question and then take those steps, and I promise you’ll go down in history as a giant among your kind. It’s never too late, –    The Universe (www.tut.com) Mike Dooley

I do not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of the present. God has given me no control over the moment following.-Mahatma Gandhi

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.-Robert Frost

Frey Freyday – Memories

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

Memories are thoughts that arise. They’re not realities. Only when you believe that they are real, then they have the power over you. But when you realize it’s just another thought arising about the past, then you can have a spacious relationship with that thought. The thought no longer has you in its grip.-Eckhart Tolle

The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.-Bill Cosby

Take care of all your memories. For you cannot relive them.-Bob Dylan

You shouldn’t wait for other people to make special things happen. You have to create your own memories.-Heidi Klum

To reminisce with my old friends, a chance to share some memories, and play our songs again.-Ricky Nelson

Memories are the key not to the past, but to the future.-Corrie Ten Boom

Chocolate is the first luxury. It has so many things wrapped up in it: Deliciousness in the moment, childhood memories, and that grin-inducing feeling of getting a reward for being good.-Mariska Hargitay

It’s great to reminisce about good memories of my past. It was enjoyable when it was today. So learning to enjoy today has two benefits: it gives me happiness right now, and it becomes a good memory later.-George Foreman

Memories of my girls are pretty precious. – Jim Frey

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.-Steven Wright

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer’s disease where they slowly began to recover other people’s lost memories.-George Carlin

Frey Freyday- Ego

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

The minute you start compromising for the sake of massaging somebody’s ego, that’s it, game over.-Gordon Ramsay


To walk around with an ego is a bad thing. To have confidence in yourself is a great thing.-Fred Durst


We must go beyond the constant clamor of ego, beyond the tools of logic and reason, to the still, calm place within us: the realm of the soul.-Deepak Chopra


Ego stops you from getting things done and getting people to work with you. That’s why I firmly believe that ego and success are not compatible.-Harvey Mackay

Our egos are often the invisible wall to getting things done with less effort. –Jim Frey

Let go of the ego’s need to be right. When you’re in the middle of an argument, ask yourself: Do I want to be right or to be happy? –Wayne Dyer


Nations have their ego, just like individuals.-James Joyce


Because of its phantom nature, and despite elaborate defense mechanisms, the ego is very vulnerable and insecure, and it sees itself as constantly under threat. This, by the way, is the case even if the ego is outwardly very confident.-Eckhart Tolle

 

Simple Stuff

(Simple stuff is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

The world is moved along, not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes, but also by the aggregate of tiny pushes of each honest worker. –Helen Keller  <!–[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]–> <!–[endif]–>

My heroes are and were my parents. I can’t see having anyone else as my heroes. –Michael Jordan  <!–[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]–> <!–[endif]–>We’re our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves. –Tony Robbins

A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer. –Ralph Waldo Emerson

A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom. –Bob Dylan

A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.-Christopher Reeve  <!–[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]–> <!–[endif]–>

Being a hero means being your real self, doing what you really want to do, going got ‘it’ whatever it is, not trying to appease others – Jim Frey

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don’t really know what’s happening down there. Who is the real hero? –Mitch Hedberg

BONUS-

CNN revealed the 2013 Top 10 CNN Heroes — now it’s time to let them know which inspire you the most. Vote for the CNN Hero of the Year at http://CNNHeroes.com/ — once a day, EVERY DAY thru 11/17.

Why the heck are you doing it?

Why-Image
Why the heck are you doing it?
Why are you doing “IT”? Seriously why?
Why are you working at your job or pursuing the education or chasing that dream?
Why are you there?
Did you ever think about that?
Are you at your job so that you can bring peace and joy to your family?
Are you there so that someday you can save up and start your own business?
Why are you chasing that goal?
Seriously, take a moment and write it down. Spell out why you are doing something or why you are taking action.
(Also congrats for taking action and working or whatever you’re doing).
Why do you want a goal?
Spell it out.
Some people really benefit from writing it out in story form. “I am investing in this rental property so that it will be enough extra income so that I can take my family away to the cabin each year for 2 weeks, where we can get unplugged, enjoy time alone, connect with nature, and exercise in the wilderness.” (Just an example, make your own) Others benefit from some bullet points.
  • Make sure that you include powerful, positive emotions and experiences, words, images, and ideas. Don’t just write anything down, make it powerful and emotional – to you!
Don’t worry much about the “How”. That will take care of itself later. Our brains will work that out. Too many people get caught in ‘how’ they will do something and don’t focus enough on the why.
“If the Why is big enough, the How doesn’t matter?” Unknown.
For instance, I work hard and strive for extra income so that I can spend more time with my wife and daughters, so that we can go on trips or long weekends together, and enjoy fun, memory making events. I also do what I do so that I can save for retirement so that my wife and I can save and invest enough to have the option to slow down a little, if we chose to do so, after we reach a certain age. (I probably will still work but I prefer to have it be a choice rather than a necessity). Your “WHY” may be completely different. Maybe you do something for charity, or for a dream or hobby.
Knowing why you have to go through something, why you have to show up, why you have to do something helps you ‘show up’ in a better state of mind, to feel better about it, and to try harder at it. Think about a task that you have to do but don’t always enjoy.
Meaning is everything.
If you assign a good ‘why’ to it – a good meaning – you will probably approach it better and enjoy it, at least a little more right?
You can choose to ‘just go through the motions’ or you can actually do things with feeling, passion, enthusiasm. The latter is more fun and you’ll probably do a better job.
Spend time writing out your “WHY’s” as soon as you can.
My “why” for writing this blog many days a week is that I enjoy writing and pulling thoughts out of nothing, sharing great ideas from others, and for possibly helping just one person.
Please leave a comment and share your “WHY”.

Words To Live By: Certainty

(This is one of a part of a series of WORDS TO LIVE BY. This series grew out of a workbook I first made for my young daughters and discussed at the dinner table. These Words include values, good ideas, and Words to aspire to….and learn from….enjoy!)

certainty

Certainty. Do you recall the last time that you were certain about something….and you knew it was right, and you were right? Maybe it was at work, maybe it was with your family or a relationship – for different people it is different – it may have come from your head, or maybe your heart…..but you felt Certain.

When you meet someone that is certain, you can tell right? Often the person that is most certain is most influential in the situation. Certainty is much like confidence. It comes across in someone’s way of acting, their attitude and words.

Think about a situation where you felt certain. Picture it in your mind. How did you feel? Feel now how you were when you were certain. Stand up. Go ahead and stand up…….feel certain. ….really certain. There is a calmness, coolness about it perhaps? You feel confident. You probably feel relaxed – although energized too. What is your posture and physiology like?

Stand as if you were certain! Are your shoulders sagging or are you standing tall? How is your breathing?

Now stand as if you are Absolutely Certain! How would you stand? Breathe? What is your posture, your physiology? What is your appearance? How are you talking? How are you holding your head?

Certainty is achieved from our posture, physiology, and attitude.- your state of mind, your state of your body. You own the situation, right? You own the moment.

Tony Robbins has a list of what he calls the SIX HUMAN NEEDS. Certainty/Comfort, Variety, Significance, Connection/Love, Growth, and Contribution.

Tony discusses Certainty this way – We all want comfort, right? And much of this comfort comes from certainty. Of course there is no ABSOLUTE certainty, but we want certainty the car will start, the water will flow from the tap when we turn it on and the currency we use will hold its value. We search for certainty in other parts of our life. At one time there appeared to be certainty in some industries and jobs.

Sometimes I find certainty in other ways…..I don’t know who told me once but they told me ‘Nothing in life is permanent, no problem is permanent, it is passing; your Soul is permanent. You are permanent.  Nothing is so inescapable that you can’t move on….”

Knowing that ‘this too shall pass’ helps me ‘shake off’ something bad and I feel a little relieved, calmer, and more certain. Look at the big picture. Look at other – other people have recovered from this and worse. I also think about the good things in my life. I focus on what is working and I feel more certain. I look back in my life and recall how I overcame other challenges, I look at my successes, I look at my loved ones and support network. We are not alone. I personally believe in a Creator that is benevolent. I don’t pretend to understand or label but I believe in something.

We all have this power, this source, this strength inside of each of us. We’ve all felt it from time to time in our lives. It often feels like the ‘real person’, the person at the core of ourselves. When we access this part of us, we operate from a foundation of certainty, don’t we? But it does take a moment for each of us to access it  – being calm, focused, even meditation….. but the point is that YOU can access the certainty inside. You can reach in and grab it – you don’t have to look outside.

Extraordinary people bring certainty into uncertain environments. Whether it be in sports, business, or even being a great parent, in times of uncertainty people are drawn to those who’ve somehow found a way to find an internal certainty that can guide them. That certainty is not that you have all the answers, but rather that there’s certainty inside you that, together with your loved ones, you can find the answer and move forward.

Lastly, having a Vision in mind is also key. If you have that END IN MIND – the dream, the vision of what you want, if you spend time visualizing it and really feeling it – feeling as if it is already happening NOW, then you will be able to access certainty. If you know where you’re going and you know that you’re not going to give up until you get there, then it’s OK when you encounter big and little challenges in life. You’re certain that you’ll reach the end and you’re certain things are working out. The path may be not as you expected but no path it.

Focus on asking the right questions to yourself and focus on what you say to yourself. Are your words and self-talk building up or breaking down certainty in you?

Like you, I’ve had successes and also been in tough jambs. There were times when I thought my life was over financially and I was embarrassed, stressed, whatever. But as I look back, in the big picture, that was just part of the journey. Those things passed. Other things will pass, I am certain of it! My real friends are still around. That ‘real Jim’ is still inside me. Struggles bring strength. Strength brings certainty.

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