Frey Freyday-Gratitude

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Gratitude – [grat-i-tood, -tyood] – the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful:

You can’t be grateful and angry simultaneously. You can’t be fearful and be grateful simultaneously. So gratitude is really the reset button.-Unknown

Most of us never stop to consider our blessings; rather, we spend the day only thinking about our problems. But since you have to be alive to have problems, be grateful for the opportunity to have them. Bernie Siegel –

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Gratitude – Give thanks for everything, big and small, good and bad.

As I look back over the past years, I’ve been downsized a few times, I’ve worked at places that were not fun, I’ve worked with people that were not ideal, and I’ve been at banks that were not very good about approving many loans.

Then I thought that I’m grateful right now; grateful to be working with nice people- I really like the team at my job, I am grateful for my family and friends, I am grateful for my health and such. I am grateful that 87 years ago today, my late father was born.

At this time of year, many of us have or know some young people that are graduating from something to another thing, and I’m grateful my youngest is moving from high school to college and I’ll soon be an ‘empty nester’. (I thought that was for old people.) I am grateful for all of that. Life isn’t perfect but I am grateful for the tough times and times like now, which seem to be good.

I know that this sort of thing has been covered in countless articles and blogs by others. In many ways we all know that giving thanks and showing gratitude makes sense and that we should do it, but many of us don’t consistently do it. It does work…..

Here is an exercise that I recently read, and something I don’t do often but hope to do more often…fyi….

“There are so many things that we take for granted. We live in a free country, we have food, shelter, education, safety, we have beauty in nature and in each other, we have so many people in this world that want to help, heal, give, teach and share. Look at your coffee cup in the morning. Someone made that cup, created it so that you could enjoy the coffee. Someone took great pain to package your coffee in a secure, healthy, clean, sanitary container. People worked years to improve the freshness and flavor.

Most of us have so many people that care for and about us….friends, family, co-workers – you’d be surprised who cares for you. Think about all of the people, strangers included, that somehow touch your life each and everyday. When we have what we call a ‘bad day’ we are often in a negative mindset or one of fear or scarcity. We are looking at, focusing on what we don’t have, what we lost, what we are lacking. It has been said that wherever there is appreciation, there will be duplication. It can be said that what we focus on expands – so if you are grateful for something, you will have more of it. If you have gratitude for challenges and ‘bad’ things in life, it helps to re-frame them. An experience that we could say is ‘bad’ can instead be thought of as experience, education, wisdom. We learned from the situation, didn’t we? We are wiser and stronger for making it through. Because of that experience, we are better people, and that’s worth being grateful. Think about it, we all have things in life that we may have considered ‘bad’ as they were happening to us. If you instead think that life is there happening for us rather than to us, and once we gain some perspective on it, we can see that that same event may in fact be a good thing for our life. When you look at a problem like that, it is no longer a ‘bad’ one. Gratitude helps us re-focus. We can’t be fearful if we’re grateful. We can’t be angry if we’re grateful. We can’t feel scarcity if we have gratitude.”

 

On this Memorial Day weekend, certainly I am glad for all those who have died while serving in the United States Armed Forces.

 

 

 

P.S. My older daughter is in Finland with a group, the Finnish word for gratitude is kiitollisuus

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

Frey Freyday- Action

 

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is

over and gone. The future is not guaranteed. – Dr. Wayne Dyer

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Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define

you.-Thomas Jefferson

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When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the

action steps. –Confucius

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I never worry about action, but only inaction.-Winston Churchill

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Action expresses priorities.-Mahatma Gandhi

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Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own

future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your

creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what

you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.-Bradley Whitford

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Action is the foundational key to all success.-Pablo Picasso

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A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no

action, you haven’t truly decided.-Tony Robbins

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An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less than the long range risks of

comfortable inaction.-John F. Kennedy

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Never confuse motion with action.-Benjamin Franklin
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WORD TO LIVE BY:

Action – [ak-shuh n] – the process or state of acting or of being active

I believe that action is everything. Dumb or smart. Evil or well-meaning. Good ideas are all fine and good but without action, they are nothing.

Lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough. You must take action.

Success in any field comes from taking the initiative and following up… and then persisting and taking action on a consistent basis. To be successful, we must take control of our consistent actions.

It’s not what we do once in a while that makes us who we are, but what we do consistently.

Ask yourself, “What simple action could I take today to move toward a dream or towards success in your life? “
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Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB).

Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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BONUS-15 Ted Talks for procrastination

http://blog.ted.com/15-ted-talks-for-procrastination/

(to be removed from this list, take action and reply “REMOVE”)

Frey Freyday – Brave/Bold

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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BRAVE – [brāv] -ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage:

BOLD-[bōld]-of a person, action, or idea) showing an ability to take risks; confident and courageous.

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I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death. -Leonardo da Vinci

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Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.-Indira Gandhi

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We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world.-Helen Keller

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Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.-Paulo Coelho

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People often fool themselves into the comfortable life by reasoning that taking “baby steps” are sufficient. But if we are forever taking baby steps — living life without bold steps and those chancy bets of courage that are the mark of greatness — then our character and dreams will forever languish in their infancy. To live a fully charged life, we must allow the risk and vulnerability of those great leaps into the unknown. Let us be so brave.- Brendon Burchard

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A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer.-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Be brave enough to live life creatively. The creative place where no one else has ever been.-Alan Alda

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Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened.-Billy Graham

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Fortune and love favor the brave.-Ovid

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WORDS TO LIVE BY:

Brave/Bold – someone who exhibits bravery or boldness can fully live life, they can help others, they can do well in their careers and in relationships. They can look back at their lives and know that they tried, they lived. Someone with bravery/boldness AND some compassion can evolve to the next level and help others too.

WHATEVER YOU CAN DO OR DREAM YOU CAN DO, BEGIN IT. BOLDNESS HAS GENIUS, POWER AND MAGIC IN IT!

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

This is dedicated to the men and women that have helped make and continue to keep this Country independent with their brave actions.

Bonus: TED Talks

http://www.ted.com/playlists/268/talks_to_help_you_claim_your_i

Claim your independence

Brave, personal stories of people who make bold moves to claim a better life.

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Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

Frey Freyday – extra mile

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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go the extra mile – (phrase) -To go beyond what is necessary or expected in order to please someone, achieve something, or get something done

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You can start right where you stand and apply the habit of going the extra mile by rendering more service and better service than you are now being paid for. Napoleon Hill –

It’s never crowded along the extra mile. Wayne Dyer –

Heroes have a rough time because they stand up when they ought not to, they speak when they ought not to; they always have to go that extra mile. George Foreman –

WORDS TO LIVE BY:

Go the extra mile – To do a little more than asked, to put forth a little more effort, to inject a little more passion, to extend yourself, to push a little more.

The world is full of average people. The world is full of people that are ‘good’ at something. In many ways I include myself in some categories like that, at least in some cases.

We have all said something like, “I’m a good father”, or “I’m a good employee (or insert your job)”. That’s true, you and I may be good – but if we’re honest, good doesn’t go that far. Good is OK. Think about someone at your job that is ‘good’. Not bad, right? Not great either, right?

But we all know a few great fathers, we know who is great at work, who is a great story teller, someone who is great at something. Often there is some talent but more often there is extra effort and passion. We also know those people that go the extra mile.

If we want to be extraordinary, if we really want to contribute, if we really want to make a difference or leave a legacy, we need to go the extra mile.

What if we asked ourselves, each day, how can we be doing more and delivering better results not only for work, but for our relationships, our health, and other important aspects of life?

I wish that I could recall the speaker, once I heard someone say something to this effect, ‘if you put forth below-average effort, you get poor results; if you put forth average effort, you get below-average results; if you put forth good effort, you get average results; but if you put forth extra-effort and go the extra mile, you get extraordinary results, you get excellence’.

It’s not easy but that’s why they call it the extra mile.

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Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

Frey Freyday – Story

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

sto·ry-[ˈstôrē]-NOUN stories (plural noun) an account of imaginary or real people and events told for entertainment: ALSO: an account of past events in someone’s life or in the evolution of something:

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Authenticity is everything! You have to wake up every day and look in the mirror, and you want to be proud of the person who’s looking back at you. And you can only do that if you’re being honest with yourself and being a person of high character. You have an opportunity every single day to write that story of your life. Aaron Rodgers
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Technology can be our best friend, and technology can also be the biggest party pooper of our lives. It interrupts our own story, interrupts our ability to have a thought or a daydream, to imagine something wonderful, because we’re too busy bridging the walk from the cafeteria back to the office on the cell phone. Steven Spielberg
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There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. Maya Angelou
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Every human is an artist. And this is the main art that we have: the creation of our story. Don Miguel Ruiz
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Don’t forget, you are the hero of your own story. Greg Boyle
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WORD TO LIVE BY:

Story – something we tell ourselves and others. Something we tend to believe is true, regardless of the facts.

When you think of a story, it immediately paints a picture in you mind.

If it is a good story, you can feel the emotions, smell things, sense different things.

Good or bad, stories are very powerful. Stories emotionalize information.

So there are our internal stories…the stories we tell ourselves and others. These stories can be helpful, empowering, or totally the opposite. Sometimes we aren’t aware of the story we’re in, sometimes we’re comfortable where we are.

For instance, and I’ve discussed this before, one year I lost both parents in a short time frame. My wife lost three relatives, too. We lost 5 great people in one year – and I was unemployed! It was a tough year!

I told that story to others and it became ‘my story’. It was all true but guess what, that story did not help me or empower me in any way. It is true that sometimes we have to be aware of where we are in life and we have to accept it, but if we keep telling ourselves the same old story, we won’t grow, progress, or move on…..

I kept telling myself a similar story for much too long. I was in an emotional hole and I couldn’t get out. After a while, I could see that people didn’t react well to that story – sure they felt sorry for me and cared, many were quite kind but it wasn’t healthy and I wasn’t someone that many people wanted to ‘hang with’ or work with…..I literally had to abandon that story and create a new one. Quite frankly, my story was partially ‘pretend’ at first – in some ways I did have to fake it until I made it.

By the way, my new story included being happy regardless of what happened in life, and trying to be kinder, mostly by volunteering and contributing more. I must tell you that these aspects really helped me in my life and career in that next phase.

Our stories determine our perspective, our focus, our motivations, and many factors in our lives.

Our story is basically our identity – but it can also be who we want to be.

Never underestimate the power of your story.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

Frey Freyday – Music inside

 

( Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

 

Music inside you  – whatever you think about, your interest, passion, purpose- regardless what your ‘job’ is……

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Don’t die with your music still inside you.Listen to your intuitive inner voice and find what passion stirs your soul. – Wayne Dyer

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WORD TO LIVE BY:

 

So what does it mean, “Don’t die with your music still inside you”? -Basically, it means to listen to your intuitive inner voice and find what passion stirs you.

This means that maybe you always wanted to paint, write a book, go travel somewhere, start a business, talk to someone, resolve something, achieve something – whatever! Go do it. Now.

Can you imagine being on your deathbed knowing that you always wanted to write a book and not having even tried? (to try and fail is OK) Some say the regrets from not doing something are much greater than regrets from doing something. To have a dream or passion and ignore it will eat at you until you die.

But sometimes fear stops people. Fear of failure, embarrassment, even fear of success.

If we feel fear, a few things a person can do to erase fear include: being thankful, thinking from the end as if you already have it, put ourselves in a good emotional state and focus on action steps that we can take Now, today.

It’s been proven that the thoughts we choose have everything to do with our emotions. I can tell you that a commitment to feeling good can take away a stomach ache, fear, depression, sadness, anxiety—you name it.  .

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Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB).  Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education.

Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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BONUS:

Video and article

https://www.drwaynedyer.com/video/dont-die-with-your-music-still-in-you-wayne-dyer-and-daughter-serena/

 

Frey Freyday – leader series-Bruce Lee

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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This ‘leader-series’ is a sub-set of Frey Freydays – celebrities, influencers, icons and other people that are well-known that, although not perfect, have led an inspirational life in some way or have made some contribution to society, etc. and people from which we can learn. In no order and certainly the list is un-ending.

-BRUCE LEE

If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.

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I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.

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Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless and add what is specifically your own.

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To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.

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Real living is living for others.

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The more we value things, the less we value ourselves.

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Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger or faster man. But sooner or later the man who wins, is the man who thinks he can.

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If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.

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Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.

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Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow, or it can crash. Be water, my friend.

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WORDS TO LIVE BY:

“Be like water….” – Be flexible, resilient, learn, adapt, be open-minded, do not concern yourself with labels.

July 2017 marked the 44th anniversary of Bruce Lee’s death. Bruce Lee lived a short but very impactful life. He is remembered today as the figure who popularized Kung Fu and Jeet Kune Do around the world.

Most people think of Bruce as just a movie star and/or someone ‘who did kung fu’. I found out that he was more than that….

As a young adult I learned about Bruce Lee from “karate movies”. One day I bought a book that he wrote. I was surprised to find that it was quite good and contained content about philosophy, life, and principles for living life. Bruce was a philosophy major in college and spent a lot of time thinking about this sort of thing.

Some people may know that the form of “Kung Fu” he developed, called Jeet Kune Do has been referred to as  “Using no way as way” and “Having no limitation as limitation”.

He was often asked if he formed a new form of martial arts.  Bruce said, “On the contrary, I hope to free my followers from clinging to styles, patterns, or molds.”

So in other words, Bruce learned many different types of karate, fighting, wrestling, grappling, even American-style boxing, etc. Bruce then tried to ‘combine’ and pick the best traits out of each of those for his style, to put it very simply. So his fighting style did not have the rigid, formal limitations and they were not bound by certain guidelines. His point: in one situation you may need traits of one style, another situation will require different traits.

Similarly, in life, Bruce formed a great philosophy with this in mind. He studied many philosophies and religions and learned from each of them. He tried to incorporate the best of each into his life without getting caught up in the limitations of each.

If you reference the quote above “Absorb what is useful, ….” It implies that one should study and learn, and use the best of each to make oneself better.

As he stated it, “The extraordinary part of it lies in its simplicity.” This applied to his fighting style and to his philosophy in life. Again in life or fighting, Bruce Lee emphasized that every situation is different. To obtain victory in life or in a fight it is essential not to be rigid, but to be fluid and able to adapt to any situation.

In reference to the famous quote above, “Be like water…”,  Bruce’s theory behind this was that one must be able to function in any scenario one is thrown into. As he said it, ‘One should know when to speed up or slow down, when to expand and when to contract, and when to remain flowing and when to crash. It is the awareness that both life and fighting can be shapeless and ever changing that allows one to be able to adapt to those changes instantaneously and bring forth the appropriate solution.’

Lee did not believe in “styles” and felt that every person and every situation is different and not everyone fits into a mold; one must remain flexible in order to obtain new knowledge and victory in both life and combat. One must never become stagnant in the mind or method, always evolving and moving towards improving oneself.( Little, John (1973). Bruce Lee: In His Own Words (DVD). Warner Brothers.)

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

–

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

Frey Freyday: Avoiding Pain

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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Pain – a distressing feeling often caused by intense or damaging stimuli, or the perception of it

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Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it. Kevyn Aucoin
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To be a champion, I think you have to see the big picture. It’s not about winning and losing; it’s about every day hard work and about thriving on a challenge. It’s about embracing the pain that you’ll experience at the end of a race and not being afraid. I think people think too hard and get afraid of a certain challenge. Summer Sanders
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Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave. Mary Tyler Moore
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Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Khalil Gibran
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We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment. Jim Rohn
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Change is never a matter of ability, it’s a matter of motivation. If change is a “should” will people change? No. Change has to be not a ‘should’ but a ‘must’. The way people are motivated, the reason that they do what they do is that this: the desire to avoid pain or the desire to gain pleasure. Tony Robbins

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WORDS TO LIVE BY:

Pain – something we avoid, even though sometimes it helps us grow/makes us stronger/better/happier in the long run.

Pleasure – something we seek, something we sometimes get comfortable with, enough so that we don’t pursue our dreams, improve ourselves, or simply take that next step we’ve been pondering so long.

Here in American, in this time, many of us are very comfortable. Unlike poor areas, poor countries, or our ancestors decades and generations ago, even those of us with lower incomes have a comparatively nice life.

Most of us have homes, most of us have food, most of us have access to all of the basic needs of life. We have our phones, laptops, televisions; all portals to the world, entertainment and connection. We have games, books, hundreds of channels, millions of websites to distract us. It is easy to be comfortable, complacent and content. Not that there’s anything wrong with being happy with what you have or being content, accepting your current situation – often that is good – even necessary.

What I mean is that all of us, at one time or another, get comfortable with our lives because, let’s face it, our lives are often pretty good. We can experience pleasure in some ways with our lives as they are now. Yet to grow, to get better, to improve, to reach our goals and dreams, we have to go ‘do something’ and experience pain, in one way or another.

I’ve had it happen to me many, many times. I wanted to lose weight. I wanted to create, learn something, save, earn more, go after a new opportunity, pursue a dream, change a habit, yet I either don’t take the action, or I slip back into the ‘old way’, probably because the pain of the new experience is seemingly harder than the pleasure and safety of the ‘now’, of my current ‘easier’ situation.

92% of the 17 million people that try to quit smoking each year fail. 95% of people who lose weight each year fail to keep it off long term. It is said that only 10% of the population have specific, well-defined goals, but even then 7 out of ten will reach their goals only 50% of the time.

Why do we sometimes not take that ‘next step’? Why do we sometimes not follow through?

We avoid pain and seek the short term pleasures, in many cases.

As stated above, These are the two forces that motivate people to do what they do: the desire to gain pleasure or the desire to avoid pain.

If we want to change something, make it better, improve, pursue a dream, then we must associate Massive Pain to not changing now, and Massive Pleasure to changing immediately. It must be a “Must”. Not a should, not a question of ability, skill, or will power. Pain is a short-term motivation but we all need the pleasure side for long-term motivation. Use pain and pleasure to your advantage to grow and change.

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Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

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Frey Freyday – Guilt

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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Guilt-[gilt] -the fact or state of having committed an offense, crime, violation, or wrong, especially against moral or penal law; culpability:

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People tend to dwell more on negative things than on good things. So the mind then becomes obsessed with negative things, with judgments, guilt and anxiety produced by thoughts about the future and so on. Eckhart Tolle
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 With integrity, you have nothing to fear, since you have nothing to hide. With integrity, you will do the right thing, so you will have no guilt. Zig Ziglar
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Guilt is cancer. Guilt will confine you, torture you, destroy you as an artist. It’s a black wall. It’s a thief. Dave Grohl

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 No work or love will flourish out of guilt, fear, or hollowness of heart, just as no valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now. Alan Watts
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We all feel the urge to condemn ourselves out of guilt, to blame others for our misfortunes and to fantasize about total disaster. Deepak Chopra
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Guilt: punishing yourself before God doesn’t. Alan Cohen
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Throughout life, the two most futile emotions are guilt for what has been done and worry about what might be done. Guilt; You can sit there forever, lamenting about how bad you’ve been, feeling guilty until you die, and not one tiny slice of that guilt will do anything to change a single thing in the past. Forgive yourself, then MOVE ON! Wayne Dyer

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WORD TO LIVE BY:

Guilt – Like worry, it isn’t much use at all. Guilt is looking in the past. Guilt is about making ourselves feel bad to no avail.

What good does guilt do? Others scold us, tell us how we should feel. Often others are being critical or judgmental of our choices – or maybe we’re being critical or judgmental of others and causing guilt upon others. What does that solve? How is guilt useful?

Really, guilt is much like just an insult. We can make ourselves feel guilty or others can feel guilt by something we do or say, and we feel bad about it, like an insult. There is no lesson, no connection, no improvement.

Like worry, we’re churning up ill feelings inside about things we can no longer change.

Some of us use guilt as an excuse to love, to live, to take a chance or to grow.

Like an insult, or like feeling bad, no one can make you feel guilty without your permission.

With guilt, you can’t fully be present, you can’t fully love and live.

The next time you feel guilty for something, ask ‘Is this useful? Is it helpful? Does it make me feel good? Does it improve the situation?”

Release, let go of guilt: If you release guilt, much like forgiving yourself, you will remove a huge weight from your shoulders. Guilt is released through the empowering thought of love and respect for yourself. Forget about and let go of standards of perfection. Forget about your expectations and the expectations of others. Refuse to use up the precious currency of your life, the present moment, with thoughts that continue to berate, frustrate and weaken you.

Instead, learn from the moment, release it, and simply work to be better than you used to be, live in the present, all of which is the true test of nobility.

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Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

BONUS  

TED TALK: We’ll go to the doctor when we feel flu-ish or a nagging pain. So why don’t we see a health professional when we feel emotional pain: guilt, loss, loneliness? Too many of us deal with common psychological-health issues on our own, says Guy Winch. But we don’t have to. He makes a compelling case to practice emotional hygiene — taking care of our emotions, our minds, with the same diligence we take care of our bodies.

https://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_the_case_for_emotional_hygiene

Frey Freyday – Disappointment

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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dis·ap·point·ment-[ˌdisəˈpointmənt]-the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations:

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We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment. Jim Rohn
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We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope. Martin Luther King, Jr.
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There’s always failure. And there’s always disappointment. And there’s always loss. But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums. Michael J. Fox
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If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment. Henry David Thoreau
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Living is strife and torment, disappointment and love and sacrifice, golden sunsets and black storms. I said that some time ago, and today I do not think I would add one word. Laurence Olivier
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The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality. Conan O’Brien

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Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.  H. Jackson Brown Jr.
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WORD TO LIVE BY:

Disappointment –  Every disappointment brings an opportunity to learn. It also means that you’re closer to your goal.

If you look at the definition at the very top, disappointment can be about expectations. Did you set correct or accurate expectations? Did you really put in the time/effort to meet your expectations? Did you communicate your expectations to the other person in the scenario? These and all sorts of other questions might help us avoid expectations.

But sometimes we can’t avoid it. That’s OK, that’s part of life. Feel the emotion – accept the feeling as valid.

I remember not getting a job where it seemed many people liked me and believed in me. I was really interested in the job and I wanted it. I painted a vision in my mind. I had great expectations.

Then it didn’t happen. I felt it, and that’s OK. But then I put it in perspective. People still thought good things about me and now I actually knew a lot more good things because of the experience, I met knew people. I still had a job and I liked it, it was a good job. I still have the same great family, friends and life.

I also remembered one time when I was unemployed, and I thought of the many people that don’t have a job, or at least a good one, and would love my job or life.

In an article on the Chopra Center’s website, Tamara Lechner says, “Many people choose disappointment as a way of motivating themselves to do something different next time. The power of this negative emotional charge might be the push you need to dig deeper, work harder, or try again.” She also states that “Avoid thinking limiting thoughts like, “things never work out” or “this always happens to me.” So true. Nothing lasts forever. This too shall pass.

Disappointment can motivate us and help move us to make life better.

Disappointment is simply a ‘not now’, not a ‘never’. When you get a rejection, you don’t stop, you keep going. A ‘no’ means that you are one step closer to a ‘yes’.

Having the feeling of disappointment is a good thing, it shows that you know what your goal is, shows that you know what you want. Sometimes it can even wake you up and either remind you – or show you for the first time what you want.

Lastly, if you practice gratitude – if you’re really being grateful for life, or something or someone, you can’t feel disappointment. So next time you feel disappointed, take a moment and start with all the people, things-big and small, in your life that you are grateful for – and really get into it. The disappointment fades.

Likewise, if you’re feeling disappointed, go volunteer at a charity. Go do something for someone else. When you give, when you put your focus on other’s needs and when you see other’s needs, disappointment fades.

Remember that disappointment can drive us forward, or it can defeat us.
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Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

 

BONUS

10 TED Talks to help you shake off disappointment and rejection

http://www.ted.com/playlists/234/talks_to_help_you_shake_off_re