The Wizard Within….

I am reading a book by Deepak Chopra called “Twenty Spiritual Lessons for Creating the Life You Want”

It is quite good.

It is something that I have written about on occasion and sometimes try to put into practice in my own life, but often do not.

The Wizard can represent a number of things or beings – it could be our own Spirit, the Universe, the Source, God, the Universal Intelligence, the Higher Self….or whatever you might refer to the power, love, force, and spirit that runs through us all. The Wizard is a metaphor….

The Wizard is that force or spirit that we all have, the true self that never really changes, the person that remains the same as we grow, as we face challenges, as we worry about materialistic things – the Wizard knows what is really important, the Wizard helps us stay on the course when we’re worried, concerned, or chasing the “Joneses”.

The Wizard is that voice inside that helps you make a decision, that helps you stay on track, and that provides you a foundation of strength, serenity, and guidance. The Wizard in us sees the real world, the real person in others – not the beautiful or ugly skins and bones, but the spirit inside.

• There are some great lessons in this book; some new and fresh, some are things we all probably already know but are definitely good to be reminded of…..
• Spend time pondering not what you see but why you see it.
• The Wizard exists in all of us. This wizard sees and knows everything.
• The Wizard is beyond opposites of light and dark, good and evil, pleasure and pain.
• Everything the wizard sees has its roots in the unseen world.
• Nature reflects the moods of the wizard.
• The body and mind may sleep but the wizard is always awake.

For someone like me who has a difficulty making time for meditation, I found the quote “Without silence, there is no room for the wizard.” very helpful and meaningful…”without silence ther cannot be any real appreciation of life, which is as delicate in its inner fabrics as a closed rosebud.”

…also, Wizards don’t live in fear…when asked “How do you manage this peace of mind?”, the Wizard says, “Look within where there is only peace.”

Lastly, Chopra writes this….”The mind may succeed in making you intelligent, but it is poorly equipped to make you happy, fulfilled, at peace with yourself.”….”the Wizard is inside you and only wants one thing: to be born.”

…..I’ll share more good thoughts from the book as I come across them….

Best wishes for some magic from your inner Wizard today…

..

🙂

Simple Stuff – happiness edition

(SIMPLE STUFF is a short bit of ideas, quotes, phrases, and ‘stuff’ to help you stay focused, stay loose, ask better questions, and laugh a bit.)

 Neither a promotion, losing weight, finding a soul mate, writing a book, nor becoming a billionaire, will ensure happiness.
Nothing ensures happiness. No destination is great enough. No dream come true will do.
Because happiness that’s not present at the start of a journey will not be present at its end. – Mike Dooley – tut.com

Tell me again what your excuse is….?

We all have excuses and we use them at different times.

I certainly have done my share of making excuses. I am good at using technology to justify my lack of action – “our computer doesn’t have that capability”, “I can’t make a video, we don’t have a video camera that works” – all things that can be overcome but I use to procrastinate. I also get caught up in watching movies and avoiding action – I make excuses.

Sometimes fear, laziness, ignorance, whatever.

Just the other day I saw a news brief about a father and son team called Team Hoyt.

Take a look at this site and/or the video. http://www.teamhoyt.com/

NOW  – IMAGINE THIS – you’re sitting next to Team Hoyt. They are intent and listening to you.

Tell them the excuse you’re using at the moment for not doing whatever it is you know that you should do?

Are you really able to use that excuse with an honest and frank conversation with Team Hoyt after knowing the challenges that they face?

Go do it.

Solutions Based Thinking

Make a turnaround, make a miracle happen…

In this blog post: How you can change a negative situation or relationship….and how you can focus on the goal instead of the obstacle….and working with the emotional and logical parts inside You…..

I am reading the book “Switch” by Chip and Dan Heath. I recommend that you read it.

It discusses a number of great ideas related to change, changing habits, planning and how we humans approach life, and how we can make changes better – both personally and at an organizational level.

In their own words the Heath brothers summarize the book as such: “It puzzled us–why do some huge changes, like marriage, come joyously, while some trivial changes, like submitting an expense report on time, meet fierce resistance?

We found the answer in the research of some brilliant psychologists who’d discovered that people have two separate “systems” in their brains—a rational system and an emotional system. The rational system is a thoughtful, logical planner. The emotional system is, well, emotional—and impulsive and instinctual. When these two systems are in alignment, change can come quickly and easily (as when a dreamy-eyed couple gets married). When they’re not, change can be grueling (as anyone who has struggled with a diet can attest).

In those situations where change is hard, is it possible to align the two systems? Is it possible to overcome our internal “schizophrenia” about change? We believe it is.”

SOLUTIONS BASED THERAPY: Therapy is often a good thing for us humans. Since you and I are human, let’s talk about that. We go in and talk, bring out our ‘issues’ and get things off our chest. Therapy helps many, many people.

The book discusses how traditional therapy is different from solutions based therapy. In traditional therapy we dig into our past, look at our childhood and dig out all the reasons why we are the way we are. The book suggests, partially in jest, that “after $50,000 and years of therapy you can now blame your mother.” This is not to say traditional therapy doesn’t work, it often does.

However, my discussion today is focused on the other type – solutions based therapy. These types of therapists don’t typically dig into your past. They don’t find out if your dad didn’t hug you enough or if you were scared of bats.

Solutions based therapy does what it says, they provide you a solution. If you’ve got a problem, let’s work on a solution, right now. OK, go do it.

Example: A married couple is angry, tense, and having issues. They aren’t getting along well. They are arguing a lot, not intimate nearly as much as they want to be, they are unhappy and there is a daily struggle. The tension and arguing are affecting the kids and both spouses are feeling it.

So a solutions based therapist doesn’t go to the wife and see if she has ‘daddy issues’ nor would the therapist do the same for the husband.

They simply go and ask one great question to each of the spouses , and I paraphrase,

“Imagine that you went to sleep tonight and there was some kind of miracle that happened while you slept. When you woke up, what’s the first small sign you’d see that would make you think, ‘Well, something must have happened – the problem is gone?’!?’

Typically then the spouse would respond by saying that they’d feel happy, at ease, and that they’d be more pleasant to the other spouse, more relaxed. The therapist also asks questions like “What would you want to see instead?” It is key to find a replacement behavior and/or habit for anything negative. It is much harder to say not to do “that” – it is easier to say to do something else instead.

Often the spouse responds by saying something like their mate would be listening after they woke up. The therapist would continue “How could you tell that your spouse was listening?” It asks them to identify the results what they want, expectations are clearer, clarity helps all parties. There is then an end result in mind.

The miracle itself is irrelevant and not discussed.

There are other examples of how similar questions were used with a ‘troubled student’ and organizations, too. This methodology could be used for someone with a drinking problem….almost any concern. “If a miracle solved your drinking problem, what would you be doing different the next morning? – What’s the first small sign that made you realize that your problem was gone?”

This is a wonderful approach not only to therapy but to our daily lives. Ask a better question, find a solution and take action. Some people think this is too simple. After the above exercise and questions are asked, the authors suggest a second pivot question: “When was the last time that you saw even a little bit of the miracle, even just for a short time?” Then you replay the scene when things were working for you. What was happening? How did you behave? Were you smiling? How did you feel?

Solutions based therapists “learn to focus their patients on the first hints of the miracle…Pretty cool, right?

What if you wrote this type of open ended question down and carried it with you each day?

What if you tried to apply it to your daily life – your relationships? Career? Health?

It gets you focusing on the ‘good stuff’ instead of what isn’t working. It gets you looking at how we can improve things, how we can solve a problem, rather than just talk about it and think about it (even more).

There are many great things in the book Switch but I think this chapter is very valuable. I may riff about other parts but this one is worth being a solo post.

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