Category Archives: life

Frey Freyday – leader series-Bruce Lee

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

This ‘leader-series’ is a sub-set of Frey Freydays – celebrities, influencers, icons and other people that are well-known that, although not perfect, have led an inspirational life in some way or have made some contribution to society, etc. and people from which we can learn. In no order and certainly the list is un-ending.

-BRUCE LEE

If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.

I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.

Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless and add what is specifically your own.

To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.

Real living is living for others.

The more we value things, the less we value ourselves.

Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger or faster man. But sooner or later the man who wins, is the man who thinks he can.

If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.

Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.

Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow, or it can crash. Be water, my friend.

WORDS TO LIVE BY:

“Be like water….” – Be flexible, resilient, learn, adapt, be open-minded, do not concern yourself with labels.

July 2017 marked the 44th anniversary of Bruce Lee’s death. Bruce Lee lived a short but very impactful life. He is remembered today as the figure who popularized Kung Fu and Jeet Kune Do around the world.

Most people think of Bruce as just a movie star and/or someone ‘who did kung fu’. I found out that he was more than that….

As a young adult I learned about Bruce Lee from “karate movies”. One day I bought a book that he wrote. I was surprised to find that it was quite good and contained content about philosophy, life, and principles for living life. Bruce was a philosophy major in college and spent a lot of time thinking about this sort of thing.

Some people may know that the form of “Kung Fu” he developed, called Jeet Kune Do has been referred to as  “Using no way as way” and “Having no limitation as limitation”.

He was often asked if he formed a new form of martial arts.  Bruce said, “On the contrary, I hope to free my followers from clinging to styles, patterns, or molds.”

So in other words, Bruce learned many different types of karate, fighting, wrestling, grappling, even American-style boxing, etc. Bruce then tried to ‘combine’ and pick the best traits out of each of those for his style, to put it very simply. So his fighting style did not have the rigid, formal limitations and they were not bound by certain guidelines. His point: in one situation you may need traits of one style, another situation will require different traits.

Similarly, in life, Bruce formed a great philosophy with this in mind. He studied many philosophies and religions and learned from each of them. He tried to incorporate the best of each into his life without getting caught up in the limitations of each.

If you reference the quote above “Absorb what is useful, ….” It implies that one should study and learn, and use the best of each to make oneself better.

As he stated it, “The extraordinary part of it lies in its simplicity.” This applied to his fighting style and to his philosophy in life. Again in life or fighting, Bruce Lee emphasized that every situation is different. To obtain victory in life or in a fight it is essential not to be rigid, but to be fluid and able to adapt to any situation.

In reference to the famous quote above, “Be like water…”,  Bruce’s theory behind this was that one must be able to function in any scenario one is thrown into. As he said it, ‘One should know when to speed up or slow down, when to expand and when to contract, and when to remain flowing and when to crash. It is the awareness that both life and fighting can be shapeless and ever changing that allows one to be able to adapt to those changes instantaneously and bring forth the appropriate solution.’

Lee did not believe in “styles” and felt that every person and every situation is different and not everyone fits into a mold; one must remain flexible in order to obtain new knowledge and victory in both life and combat. One must never become stagnant in the mind or method, always evolving and moving towards improving oneself.( Little, John (1973). Bruce Lee: In His Own Words (DVD). Warner Brothers.)

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

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Frey Freyday: Avoiding Pain

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Pain – a distressing feeling often caused by intense or damaging stimuli, or the perception of it

Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it. Kevyn Aucoin

To be a champion, I think you have to see the big picture. It’s not about winning and losing; it’s about every day hard work and about thriving on a challenge. It’s about embracing the pain that you’ll experience at the end of a race and not being afraid. I think people think too hard and get afraid of a certain challenge. Summer Sanders

Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave. Mary Tyler Moore

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Khalil Gibran

We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment. Jim Rohn

Change is never a matter of ability, it’s a matter of motivation. If change is a “should” will people change? No. Change has to be not a ‘should’ but a ‘must’. The way people are motivated, the reason that they do what they do is that this: the desire to avoid pain or the desire to gain pleasure. Tony Robbins

WORDS TO LIVE BY:

Pain – something we avoid, even though sometimes it helps us grow/makes us stronger/better/happier in the long run.

Pleasure – something we seek, something we sometimes get comfortable with, enough so that we don’t pursue our dreams, improve ourselves, or simply take that next step we’ve been pondering so long.

Here in American, in this time, many of us are very comfortable. Unlike poor areas, poor countries, or our ancestors decades and generations ago, even those of us with lower incomes have a comparatively nice life.

Most of us have homes, most of us have food, most of us have access to all of the basic needs of life. We have our phones, laptops, televisions; all portals to the world, entertainment and connection. We have games, books, hundreds of channels, millions of websites to distract us. It is easy to be comfortable, complacent and content. Not that there’s anything wrong with being happy with what you have or being content, accepting your current situation – often that is good – even necessary.

What I mean is that all of us, at one time or another, get comfortable with our lives because, let’s face it, our lives are often pretty good. We can experience pleasure in some ways with our lives as they are now. Yet to grow, to get better, to improve, to reach our goals and dreams, we have to go ‘do something’ and experience pain, in one way or another.

I’ve had it happen to me many, many times. I wanted to lose weight. I wanted to create, learn something, save, earn more, go after a new opportunity, pursue a dream, change a habit, yet I either don’t take the action, or I slip back into the ‘old way’, probably because the pain of the new experience is seemingly harder than the pleasure and safety of the ‘now’, of my current ‘easier’ situation.

92% of the 17 million people that try to quit smoking each year fail. 95% of people who lose weight each year fail to keep it off long term. It is said that only 10% of the population have specific, well-defined goals, but even then 7 out of ten will reach their goals only 50% of the time.

Why do we sometimes not take that ‘next step’? Why do we sometimes not follow through?

We avoid pain and seek the short term pleasures, in many cases.

As stated above, These are the two forces that motivate people to do what they do: the desire to gain pleasure or the desire to avoid pain.

If we want to change something, make it better, improve, pursue a dream, then we must associate Massive Pain to not changing now, and Massive Pleasure to changing immediately. It must be a “Must”. Not a should, not a question of ability, skill, or will power. Pain is a short-term motivation but we all need the pleasure side for long-term motivation. Use pain and pleasure to your advantage to grow and change.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

Frey Freyday – Top Ten Words

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Hello – I am breaking from the normal format and process for a moment. Sometimes we can benefit from reflection and a different perspective. Also, we all love those “Top Ten” lists that everyone seems to offer.

This is a list of the Top Ten Words to Live By, in my opinion. I think in different situations, one can argue a different order here but in general, my list:

 

  1. State of mind – No matter what, your state of mind is everything. Making decisions, taking actions, interacting with others, thinking by ourselves, happiness, life – our state of mind affects all things for better or worse. In the same moment, the state of mind can change everything.

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way, to choose one’s own state of mind.-Victor E. Frankl

  1. Decision – the decision to act, to think a certain way, to do or not do….making a decision can literally make an instant and huge impact. A decision can determine your destiny.

“What I’ve come to realize is that the single most important decision in life is this: Are you committed to being happy, no matter what happens to you?” asks Tony Robbins. “To put this another way, will you commit to enjoying life not only when everything goes your way but also when everything goes against you, when injustice happens, when someone screws you over, when you lose something or someone you love, or when nobody seems to understand or appreciation you?”

  1. Action – Talk is cheap. Theroad to hell is paved with good  One action starts change. Consistent action builds habits, persistence and a pipeline of success. Massive action produces massive results. I believe that action is everything. Dumb or smart. Evil or well-meaning. Good ideas are all fine and good but without action, they are nothing.

Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.-Bradley Whitford

Action is the foundational key to all success.-Pablo Picasso

 –

  1. Focus – In this world there is good stuff, empowering stuff, upsetting stuff, angry stuff – all sorts of stuff for us to focus on….and what we focus on often determines our state of mind, actions, decisions, etc.  ‘Where our focus goes, energy flows and things grow.’ You focus on negative stuff, it grows. You focus on happy or helpful things, likewise they will grow in your life. It isn’t saying the bad doesn’t exist, just focusing on the good makes life better.

Accidents, coincidences, and serendipities are the disguises I use to sneak magic and miracles into your life without arousing suspicion that the game is rigged, the dragons are fake, and you’re about to hit the biggest “home run” of your life. Just keep focusing on what you want and move ahead. Now, please don’t ruin this for anyone – The Universe http://www.tut.com

The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire not things we fear.-Brian Tracy

  1. Questions – Questions set our moods, our focus, our beliefs and our actions. We all ask ourselves questions each and every day, all day, whether we realize it or not. They say we have up to 60,000 thoughts running through our minds each day, and many of these are questions. Are they good questions? Are they useful? Do they empower us?

Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone’s face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions. I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come.-Henri Nouwen

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.-Voltaire

  1. Belief – Your beliefs are everything. Beliefs make up your personality, they create habits which lead to your lifestyle, your relationships, your career, etc. Beliefs can limit you or they can help you excel and grow. The meaning we assign to all sorts of things are related to beliefs.

Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. Belief creates the actual fact.-William James

It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.-Muhammad Ali

  1. Faith – Have faith in yourself, in your gifts, have faith in others, have faith in our World. Have faith with your spirituality or religion. Have faith that things will work out, that you have all that you need inside you right now. Have faith that amazing things can happen. Sometimes we just have to let go and have faith.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.-Martin Luther King, Jr.

You’ll see it when you believe it.-Wayne Dyer

  1. Happiness/Joy – One of the best lessons I learned on my own, even though my parents often told me, is to just be happy. Don’t wait for it, don’t look for it, and don’t expect that when you buy/accomplish/get something that you’ll be happy then. Be happy now and always. If you’re happy and experience joy, your decisions, actions, and life will reflect it. People are drawn to happy people. Challenges will come into our life regardless, but if we have joy and happiness, the challenges are a little easier to deal with and recover from.

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature. –Marcus Aurelius

Research has shown that the best way to be happy is to make each day happy.-Deepak Chopra

  1. Vocabulary – the words you consistently use to describe your life, emotions and sensations—immediately change how you think, feel and live. (if you want to change your life, Adjust your habitual vocabulary)


Language shapes our behavior and each word we use is imbued with multitudes of personal meaning. The right words spoken in the right way can bring us love, money and respect, while the wrong words—or even the right words spoken in the wrong way—can lead to a country to war. We must carefully orchestrate our speech if we want to achieve our goals and bring our dreams to fruition.—Dr. Andrew Newberg, Words Can Change Your Brain

  1. Kindness –We are here to experience life together. Part of life is contributing back, compassion, love and kindness. How can we work with/play with/be with others in this world if there isn’t kindness. The Golden Rule or law of reciprocity is the principle of treating others as one would wish to be treated oneself. Multiple religions discuss this and atheists also often embrace it. Kindness is necessary for any role in life, for any moment in life. Kindness is the expression of mature ‘agape’ love.

This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness. – Dalai Lama

..

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. – Lao Tzu

(BONUS- #11. WHY? Ask why you’re doing ‘it’, whatever ‘it’ is….. determine the why and the how will work out just fine….)

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

Frey Freyday – Risk

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

RISK – exposure to the chance of injury or loss;

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. T. S. Eliot

The biggest risk is not taking any risk… In a world that changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks. Mark Zuckerberg

The risk of a wrong decision is preferable to the terror of indecision. Maimonides

If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary. Jim Rohn

There are 30,000 days in your life. When I was 24, I realized I’m almost 9,000 days down. There are no warm-ups, no practice rounds, no reset buttons. Your biggest risk isn’t failing, it’s getting too comfortable. Every day, we’re writing a few more words of a story. I wanted my story to be an adventure and that’s made all the difference. Drew Houston

We must have courage to bet on our ideas, to take the calculated risk, and to act. Everyday living requires courage if life is to be effective and bring happiness. Maxwell Maltz

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Risk – we all face risks each day, some perceived, some not.

Each day many of us risk our lives hurtling ourselves and our loved ones in a potentially deadly situation, where only a thin line of paint separates us from strangers who could cause us death or severe bodily injury. We face this every day and almost never think about it, and we casually, confidently overcome it. Yes, this is driving on the road.

Think about it, we’ll trust hundreds or thousands of total strangers with our lives – we trust that they will obey the rules and lines of the road and not run into us. Yet, many times we don’t trust loved ones in our lives – or we don’t trust ourselves to take a risk.

Risk is about how you frame it, how you perceive it.

Risk started the day you took your first breath out of the womb. Risk brings both failure and success, and certainly brings education and experience.

To change, to grow, we must take risks.

Noah St. John, author and owner of http://noahstjohn.com/writes:

Here are 3 main benefits of risk-taking:

  1. You face your fear.

And once you face that fear, that fear can’t run your life any more.

  1. You become stronger.

Once you realize that you are stronger than your fear, you often discover that you’re stronger than you thought you were.

  1. Your life changes in ways you couldn’t have predicted or imagined.

(More on this in the Bonus link below)

 

Let’s not get confused with a careless or reckless risk – in this case we’re talking about calculated and thoughtful risks.

What are we waiting for anyhow? This is not a rehearsal, this is the final performance. Go for it.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

BONUS  

The Benefits of Taking Risks

https://onewebstrategy.wordpress.com/2015/12/17/the-benefits-of-taking-risks/

Frey Freyday – Guilt

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Guilt-[gilt] -the fact or state of having committed an offense, crime, violation, or wrong, especially against moral or penal law; culpability:

People tend to dwell more on negative things than on good things. So the mind then becomes obsessed with negative things, with judgments, guilt and anxiety produced by thoughts about the future and so on. Eckhart Tolle

 With integrity, you have nothing to fear, since you have nothing to hide. With integrity, you will do the right thing, so you will have no guilt. Zig Ziglar

Guilt is cancer. Guilt will confine you, torture you, destroy you as an artist. It’s a black wall. It’s a thief. Dave Grohl

 No work or love will flourish out of guilt, fear, or hollowness of heart, just as no valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now. Alan Watts

We all feel the urge to condemn ourselves out of guilt, to blame others for our misfortunes and to fantasize about total disaster. Deepak Chopra

Guilt: punishing yourself before God doesn’t. Alan Cohen

Throughout life, the two most futile emotions are guilt for what has been done and worry about what might be done. Guilt; You can sit there forever, lamenting about how bad you’ve been, feeling guilty until you die, and not one tiny slice of that guilt will do anything to change a single thing in the past. Forgive yourself, then MOVE ON! Wayne Dyer

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Guilt – Like worry, it isn’t much use at all. Guilt is looking in the past. Guilt is about making ourselves feel bad to no avail.

What good does guilt do? Others scold us, tell us how we should feel. Often others are being critical or judgmental of our choices – or maybe we’re being critical or judgmental of others and causing guilt upon others. What does that solve? How is guilt useful?

Really, guilt is much like just an insult. We can make ourselves feel guilty or others can feel guilt by something we do or say, and we feel bad about it, like an insult. There is no lesson, no connection, no improvement.

Like worry, we’re churning up ill feelings inside about things we can no longer change.

Some of us use guilt as an excuse to love, to live, to take a chance or to grow.

Like an insult, or like feeling bad, no one can make you feel guilty without your permission.

With guilt, you can’t fully be present, you can’t fully love and live.

The next time you feel guilty for something, ask ‘Is this useful? Is it helpful? Does it make me feel good? Does it improve the situation?”

Release, let go of guilt: If you release guilt, much like forgiving yourself, you will remove a huge weight from your shoulders. Guilt is released through the empowering thought of love and respect for yourself. Forget about and let go of standards of perfection. Forget about your expectations and the expectations of others. Refuse to use up the precious currency of your life, the present moment, with thoughts that continue to berate, frustrate and weaken you.

Instead, learn from the moment, release it, and simply work to be better than you used to be, live in the present, all of which is the true test of nobility.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

BONUS  

TED TALK: We’ll go to the doctor when we feel flu-ish or a nagging pain. So why don’t we see a health professional when we feel emotional pain: guilt, loss, loneliness? Too many of us deal with common psychological-health issues on our own, says Guy Winch. But we don’t have to. He makes a compelling case to practice emotional hygiene — taking care of our emotions, our minds, with the same diligence we take care of our bodies.

https://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_the_case_for_emotional_hygiene

Frey Freyday – Metaphor

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Metaphor-noun  met·a·phor \ˈme-tə-ˌfȯr also -fər\ –  a figure of speech in which a word or phrase literally denoting one kind of object or idea is used in place of another to suggest a likeness or analogy between them

My goal is to create a metaphor that changes our reality by charming people into considering their world in a different way. Chuck Palahniuk

Sometimes I think that creativity is a matter of seeing, or stumbling over, unobvious similarities between things – like composing a fresh metaphor, but on a more complex scale. David Mitchell

What draws me in is that a trip is a leap in the dark. It’s like a metaphor for life. You set off from home, and in the classic travel book, you go to an unknown place. You discover a different world, and you discover yourself. Paul Theroux

What you look for in a picture is a metaphor, something that means something more, that makes you think about things you’ve seen or thought about. Mary Ellen Mark

Metaphors allow you to make the complex simple and the controversial palatable. Conversely, metaphors allow you to create extraordinary meaning out of the seemingly mundane.  Brian Clark

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Metaphor – Metaphors are powerful figures of speech that can influence and persuade, for good or bad. They can influence our behavior and beliefs. They can change how we look at our lives.

Metaphors are often said to help explain complex topics.

Metaphors create vivid images in your head. Metaphors make it easier to understand and remember your focus, goal, values, priorities, etc.

Just like a story, a metaphor engages your brain – the right brain. Metaphors can by-pass rationality and lower defenses to concepts, ideas, beliefs. Metaphors can make you more persuasive, to yourself and others.

So – in life we all use metaphors whether we realize it or not. Did you ever hear “I’m at the end of my rope.” Or “I’m carrying the world on my shoulders.”? We’ve all said something like these perhaps, but they aren’t empowering.

Or maybe “Life is a battle”, “Business is war” – people who use these metaphors may have a different experience than people who say, “Life is a beach” or “Business is a game”. How do you refer to the world – “The masses are asses” or that humanity is “One big family”?

Behind metaphors are beliefs. When you choose a metaphor to describe your life or circumstances, you are choosing the beliefs that it supports.

So if you’re “Feeling fenced in”, then go open the gate and get moving. If you “Can’t see the answer”, then put on some glasses – or a VR visor? – and find the answer that will make things better. If you’re “swimming in a sea of problems”, just reach down and pull out the drain, so you can walk ahead.

Think about what you say; “Life is ___”, “I feel like ____”,   Is it a test, struggle, game, battle? Is it a mystery, dance, garden full of wildflowers?

Do you see what I mean? Change your metaphors. Be aware of them. Ask yourself if they’re empowering. Do the metaphors that you use help you or hold you back?

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

 

BONUS

http://www.ted.com/talks/james_geary_metaphorically_speaking

Aphorism enthusiast and author James Geary waxes on a fascinating fixture of human language: the metaphor. Friend of scribes from Aristotle to Elvis, metaphor can subtly influence the decisions we make, Geary says.

Frey Freyday – Define

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Define-[dih-fahyn] -verb to state or set forth the meaning of (a word, phrase, etc.)

 I hope that my daughter grows up empowered and doesn’t define herself by the way she looks but by qualities that make her a intelligent, strong and responsible woman. Isaiah Mustafa

We can each define ambition and progress for ourselves. The goal is to work toward a world where expectations are not set by the stereotypes that hold us back, but by our personal passion, talents and interests. Sheryl Sandberg

Most people are defined by their titles, their cars, their house, where they came from, their color, their race, their religion. And so it’s up to you to take control of your own life and define you. As long as you understand who you are and you have a solid foundation of understanding what your talents are, what your skills are. Stedman Graham

I used to define success as being able to produce any result you wanted, whether it was a relationship, weight-loss, being a millionaire, impacting the culture, changing society, whatever it might be – it might be homelessness, whatever – and lately, I’ve redefined success as ‘fulfilling your soul’s purpose.’ Jack Canfield

Don’t let others define you. You define yourself. Ginni Rometty

WORD TO LIVE BY:

DEFINE – Take a moment to define who you are, who you want to be, and what you want.

I recall a few years ago at a previous employer, a co-worker was single and telling a group of us what she didn’t like about the guys that she dated over the years. She was very clear what she didn’t want. Then, someone asked, “What are you looking for in a guy – what kind of man do you want to date?”

She could not define what she wanted. I believe that this may have been part of the reason why she struggled to find the ‘right’ guy.

I walked away feeling good about myself  for a few moments but then I thought that we all do that in many different situations.

There have been times when I know that I didn’t like a project or even a job that I had but when pushed, I really didn’t know what I wanted in a job or career at that time.

It is hard to be fulfilled, happy, successful, and productive if you don’t define what you want in your career, your relationships, your health, your wealth if you don’t take time to simply define what you want.

Similarly, if you don’t define who you are and who you want to be, you may have feelings of frustration, inadequacy and you’ll feel extra pressure from others and society to define your life according other’s expectations and definitions, which ultimately won’t work.

If you’re unhappy or dissatisfied where you are today, ask yourself if you’ve defined what ‘success’ or ‘happiness’ would look like. How will you know if you’ve reached “it” if you haven’t defined “it”?

When you define what you want or who you are, you make a decision. Decisions lead to goals, beliefs, action and success.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

 

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