Category Archives: life

Frey Freyday – Rejection

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

rejection -[rəˈjekSH(ə)n] –NOUN the dismissing or refusing of a proposal, idea,

We all learn lessons in life. Some stick, some don’t. I have always learned more from rejection and failure than from acceptance and success. Henry Rollins

The biggest hurdle is rejection. Any business you start, be ready for it. The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is the successful people do all the things the unsuccessful people don’t want to do. When 10 doors are slammed in your face, go to door number 11 enthusiastically, with a smile on your face. John Paul DeJoria

I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat. Sylvester Stallone

Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don’t base your self-esteem on their opinions. Harvey Mackay

 WORD TO LIVE BY:
Rejection – a necessary thing that we all go through, it’s how you frame it that matters.

Some of us may think rejection is this thing that happens all the time, so what happens is that so many people guide their life based on this fear that they’re going to be rejected, so they don’t take action and don’t start new things or chase their dreams because they’re worried about what other people are going to think. It may be love, sports, business, education, whatever….

They’re going to be rejected and deemed unworthy, unlovable or not adequate in some way or another and you think, that’s so sad, because rejection, the actual form of rejection that shapes people’s identity and hurts them, happens so rarely. If you don’t believe it then that’s an internal fear, not the reality of the universe.

According to Brendon Burchard, there is some real, basic data. Brendon has traveled around the globe, well over most of the globe now, and here’s what he found out over and over again.

He always do this little simple activity where he says, ‘if you’ve ever been rejected in a way where it hurt, it actually hurt and formed and shaped your identity in a way, it was a significant hurt that you felt and it changed how you felt about yourself and what you might want to accomplish in the world. If you’ve ever felt that before would you raise your hand?’ Everyone raises their hand.

Then Brendon says, ‘if you’ve ever been rejected by, let’s say, three people, who really rejected you in that way that you were shot down, hurt and it changed who you are and what you wanted to accomplish in life. How many times has that ever happened with three people?’.. A bunch of people raise their hands again and he starts escalating that number from three, to five to seven, to ten, fifteen, twenty. and thirty.

Here’s what’s amazing. Brendon states that he has done this all over the world with audiences with thousands of people in them and here’s the average across all those audiences, all around the world, it doesn’t matter the culture. The average number is about seven.

So anywhere between five and seven, meaning, people say between five and seven people hurt their feelings enough with a real rejection, not one of those, “Well I’m sorry I can’t go out with you I’m washing my hair” stuff. I mean someone who really criticized you and rejected you in a way that it hurt. The average person says five to seven people rejected them like that.

There are some people who have more than that. I’m saying the average is five to seven and yet so many people when this is asked, how many of you are so scared of rejection that almost everyone raises their hand.

It’s like wait a second, we’re scared of something that barely ever happens?

 

If you think about it, we get rejected all the time – from when we were a baby. Rejection is a necessary way of learning, improving, making our approach better. Too often we get scared of the simple idea that we may get rejected and overlook the benefits of the experience, what we’ll learn from the rejection, the efforts, the new relationships, the new steps we’re taking, etc. – and we often lose sight that we may not get rejected at all and we may succeed. It is worth the risk.

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

BONUS  :

TED Talks to help you shake off rejection

Everyone faces rejection, sometimes on repeat. These speakers experienced a barrage of ‘no’s, but were able to push past the disappointment and keep on going. May their resilience inspire you.

https://www.ted.com/playlists/234/talks_to_help_you_shake_off_re

Frey Freyday – Compassion

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

 –com·pas·sion \kəm-ˈpa-shən\ – a feeling of wanting to help some other person or being

The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others.-Albert Schweitzer


Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.-Dalai Lama


Enlightened leadership is spiritual if we understand spirituality not as some kind of religious dogma or ideology but as the domain of awareness where we experience values like truth, goodness, beauty, love and compassion, and also intuition, creativity, insight and focused attention.-Deepak Chopra

Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.-Albert Einstein

God wants us to know that life is a series of beginnings, not endings. Just as graduations are not terminations, but commencements. Creation is an ongoing process, and when we create a perfect world where love and compassion are shared by all, suffering will cease.-Bernie Siegel

God’s dream is that you and I and all of us will realize that we are family, that we are made for togetherness, for goodness, and for compassion.-Desmond Tutu


I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.-Lao Tzu


WORD TO LIVE BY:

com·pas·sion –

First, all great religions talk about compassion. The more we mature individually and/or as a species, the more compassionate we become.

There is another definition out there that states “Compassion motivates people to go out of their way to help physical, spiritual, or emotional hurts or pains of another. Compassion is often regarded as having an emotional aspect to it, though when based on cerebral notions such as fairness, justice and interdependence, it may be considered rational in nature and its application understood as an activity based on sound judgment.” This is true. Even though compassion and the act of it often makes us feel better and involved emotion, the benefits can truly be rational and pragmatic.

Compassion is part of altruism – loving and giving unconditionally. As we strive to become better people we must take steps to become more altruistic, which of course means we can act more compassionate.

There are scientific, medical, and psychological studies that show how compassion actually benefits the given and the receiver. Studies have shown that when I am compassionate to another, I benefit; the receiver benefits, and even those people that observe the act benefit. Compassion may have the ability to induce feelings of kindness and forgiveness, which could give people the ability to stop situations that occasionally lead to violence.

Identifying with another person is an essential process for human beings. It is commonly seen throughout the world as people adapt and change with new styles of clothing, language, behavior, etc., which is illustrated by infants who begin to mirror the facial expressions and body movements of their mother as early as the first days of their lives. This process is highly related to compassion because sympathizing with others is possible with people from other countries, cultures, locations, etc

Compassion is a number of things – helping others in need, relieving stress/strife/pain/hurt. Compassion is a process of connecting by identifying with another person.

 

Today I was reminded again of compassion in an article. The article did cite a quote from author Kari Kampakis. It beautifully describes the concept of using people’s hurtful actions as opportunities for self-growth and compassion. She writes:

“Regardless of how anyone treats you, you stand to benefit. While some people teach you who you do want to be, others teach you who you don’t want to be. And it’s the people who teach you who you don’t want to be that provide some of the most lasting and memorable lessons on social graces, human dignity, and the importance of acting with integrity.”

Sometimes when we experience unkind treatment from others in the world, we can choose to withdraw, feel hurt, feel angry, etc. Or we can use it as a reminder or opportunity, and it can become a means to gain awareness, compassion, and connection.

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

Frey Freyday – Living

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

-LIVING-

I feel alive today because today is a blessing. In this moment, I can find misery or meaning, boredom or motivation. I can expand the hatred in the world, or I can amplify love. In all the chaos, I can find stillness and joy within. All is well, and nothing has to happen to “give” me more happiness in life. I simply choose to be happy now, to be grateful now, to be a source of love and light for others. I am whole. I am ready. This is my day. – Brendon Burchard

When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love. –Marcus Aurelius

I don’t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive. –Joseph Campbell

Passion rebuilds the world for the youth. It makes all things alive and significant. –Ralph Waldo Emerson

Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you’re alive, it isn’t. –Richard Bach

Look, I don’t want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you’re alive you’ve got to flap your arms and legs, you’ve got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you’re not alive. –Mel Brooks

I enjoy life when things are happening. I don’t care if it’s good things or bad things. That means you’re alive. –Joan Rivers

You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That’s how you know you’re still alive. –Jerry Seinfeld

Life must be lived and curiosity kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life. –Eleanor Roosevelt

It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather, our concern must be to live while we’re alive – to release our inner selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a facade designed to conform to external definitions of who and what we are. –Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. –William James

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. –Winston Churchill

Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living? –Bob Marley

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Living – Once in a while, at least, we can benefit from taking a moment of gratitude for just being alive. We can also benefit from just plain old living – living life, being, listening, loving, laughing, doing, caring, communicating and whatever it means to you to really ‘live life’.

We can enjoy the present, enjoy the moment by just pausing and feeling the breeze, listening to our breath, observing things in the now (rather than worrying about tomorrow or fretting about yesterday). We can be mindful in our daily activities, rather than going through them like a mindless drone.

Just think of every great memory that you have. You were in that moment, you were ‘present’ at that time and that’s why you have that memory. You can create new memories but only if you are again in the moment.

We can, in our own ways, touch other people’s lives. We can progress in our own lives by doing what is important, taking action towards a dream, helping, caring, growing.

Living life. Being alive. Enjoying the time that we have.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

Frey Freyday – Tolerance

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Tolerance – [ˈtäl(ə)rəns]- the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.

The highest result of education is tolerance. Helen Keller

The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority. Ralph W. Sockman –

I think more tolerance, more people having more access to a chance to be literate, and a chance to stay healthy makes for a more peaceful planet. Henry Rollins –

What is tolerance? It is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other’s folly – that is the first law of nature. Voltaire –

I’ve lived the American Dream and had a great life. Immigration and religion and racial tolerance are the foundation of this country. Shahid Khan –

When you feel peaceful and successful, you want to extend and export that peace and love. The violence, hatred, prejudice, and judgment in our world suggest that we have miles to go to reach a world of inner and outer peace. Wayne Dyer

We must practice universal toleration or the right of every man to abide by his own faith and beliefs without interference or fearing retaliation or to the right to hold views that are not judged unjustly simple because they differ from another. Tolerance could be defined as reason and understanding tempered by kindness and respect.

Word to Live By:

Tolerance – something our world needs a little more of…

There are lots of strong opinions today….on both sides and on many issues. It is easy for us all to get emotional, defensive, angry, etc. We need to take a breath. We can benefit from understanding our brothers and sisters out there.

Sometimes I see that we aren’t listening to each other much. We can use more compassion, kindness, respect, civility and tolerance.

I believe each of us can be more open and respectful to each other’s ideas, beliefs and thoughts. We would get along better and accomplish more if we did.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

 

BONUS: TED TALK-For more tolerance, we need more … tourism?

https://www.ted.com/talks/aziz_abu_sarah_for_more_tolerance_we_need_more_tourism

Aziz Abu Sarah is a Palestinian activist with an unusual approach to peace-keeping: Be a tourist. The TED Fellow shows how simple interactions with people in different cultures can erode decades of hate. He starts with Palestinians visiting Israelis and moves beyond …

Frey Freyday – Circumstance

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

cir·cum·stance – [ˈsərkəmˌstans, ˈsərkəmstəns] a fact or condition connected with or relevant to an event or action.

I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition. Martha Washington  –

Things present themselves to you, and it’s how you choose to deal with them that reveals who you are. We all say a lot of things, don’t we, about who we are and how we think. But in the end it’s your actions, how you respond to circumstance that reveals your character. Cate Blanchett  –

He is happy whom circumstances suit his temper; but he Is more excellent who suits his temper to any circumstance. David Hume  –

You can have nothing and be sad, or you can have nothing and be, like, positive and look at it in a good way and try to make your circumstance better. Slim Jimmy  –

Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret. Don Miguel Ruiz  –

Circumstance has no value. It is how one relates to a situation that has value. All true meaning resides in the personal relationship to a phenomenon… what it means to you. Christopher McCandless

Our experience of many life circumstances is a function of our personal perspective and not the circumstance itself. Unknown  –

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Circumstance – You are not your circumstances.

People, myself included sometimes, worry. They worry about their circumstances.

When we worry, and worry over and over, you’re saying “I’m going to worry about XYZ and keep the thoughts and keep the worry and I’m not going to step back from those worried thoughts, …I am the thinker of my thoughts and I manage and control those those thoughts, yet I still choose to worry…..”

Most people worry, worry, worry each and every day about their circumstances; past, present, future, real or otherwise.

Essentially when this happens, someone is saying ‘I’m not powerful enough to even choose my own thoughts, but that the thoughts choose me.’ Worry comes to me and I can’t do anything about this.

“You are not your circumstances. Happiness is never based on circumstances.” -Jim Fortin

Think about this – this happens to everyone in some way or another:

When things in life go the way we want them to go, we probably are happy. When they don’t go how we want them to go, we are unhappy – we are also often angry, mean, tense, short with others, distracted, judgmental, grumpy, and it affects you, your work, your relationships, your health. Being unhappy is not good for your health, stress can cause illness and disease. Obviously an unhappy person is not going to be as good as a happy person in relationships and at work. Guess what? When you’re unhappy, you actually get even less of what you want, so it compounds. And again, you’re unhappy!

It is a catch-22, self-fulfilling prophesy.

You can’t let the external world affect you and your happiness. Happiness comes from the inside out, regardless of your circumstances!

Also, many of us say, “when I get XYZ (job/raise/relationship/house/car/etc.) I will be happy”. Most of us think circumstances will make us happy. The reverse is true!

Happiness creates/attracts better circumstances.

Money doesn’t make a happy life, a happy life makes more money.

I personally have seen this in my own life. I believe this stuff is true.

Be happy everyday.

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

Frey Freyday – Integrity

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

in·teg·ri·ty – [inˈteɡrədē] – the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office. Dwight D. Eisenhower –

The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively. Bob Marley –

Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not. Oprah Winfrey –

Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values. Ayn Rand –

Moral authority comes from following universal and timeless principles like honesty, integrity, treating people with respect. Stephen Covey –

WORD TO LIVE BY:

 

Integrity: the most important thing is you do what is right when no one is looking.
Integrity is used a lot in business discussions and such, almost overused I think. It can be used in a number of contexts.

 

To me, I use it really only for myself. In other words, to me integrity is really what you do when no one is looking.

Not too many years ago, there were cases when I lost a little integrity in some instances.

One time, as a family, we were all trying to eat healthy foods all week, less sugar, junk, etc. There were times when I was alone at work or traveling and I’d ‘cheat’ on our informal agreement and indulge on cookies, donuts and junk food. No one knew but me.

Other times when I was much younger, I had times when I didn’t put forth full effort at work and didn’t give it my best. Still other times in my youth when I’d state that I read or exercised or did something completely and I didn’t. There were times when I acted nice and friendly on the outside but in my mind I was thinking otherwise.

I believe integrity with oneself is very important. Part of it is discipline, sure – it takes discipline to exercise or avoid that donut, to do work or whatever ‘it’ is. But part of it is just choosing to do the right thing, especially when the easier choice is only ‘half-right’, or just plain wrong.

I find that when I have with integrity with myself- when I stick to my values, when I follow my vision, and when I do things ‘behind the scenes’ even when no one is watching, I build momentum, I feel more confident and satisfied and in some ways I build more credibility with myself. When I don’t do something, I lose it.

Whether its anonymously giving or doing something for charity, doing that extra set of exercise, skipping the snack or the junk, making that call, having a special touch, doing work above and beyond, making an extra effort, living up to our goals and beliefs, truly being kind and compassionate-inside and out, or just doing the right thing, integrity is a must – it is what makes us better.

Whether it be something ‘big’ like a marriage over decades or just what you’re eating today, we have a belief or commitment to something. We are committed to certain goals and values, right? So, in the words of Les Brown “honor your commitments with integrity.” Give your marriage, your diet, your goals, your whatever the honor of doing the right thing all the time. It is hard for me and hard for any of us because we are humans. We seek to be better but we have weak moments.

May the 4th be with you.

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

BONUS : https://www.ted.com/tedx/events/7160

Theme: Integrity

Integrity

“Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.” – Cecil Beaton

We should not assume that integrity must always stand for some sort of static moral high ground or hubris. Instead, we should acknowledge the playfulness of this quality, and apply it to the spirit with which we ought to embrace our passions and the determination that can help us achieve our means, whether in a personal, communal or scientific endeavor. So, in the words of Les Brown “honor your commitments with integrity.”

 

Frey Freyday – Let Go

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

LET GO / DETACHMENTthe action or process of detaching; separation (emotionally, physically)

The essence of the Way is detachment. – Bodhidharma

He who would be serene and pure needs but one thing, detachment.  –Meister Eckhart

In order to acquire anything in the physical universe, you have to relinquish you attachment to it. Deepak Chopra

It doesn’t take a lot of strength to hang on. It takes a lot of strength to let go. J. C. Watts –

To be consistently effective, you must put a certain distance between yourself and what happens to you on the golf course. This is not indifference, it’s detachment.  -Sam Snead

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. Lao Tzu

I cannot own anything. It is a valuable thought to keep in mind as you struggle to improve your financial picture, worry about investments, and plan how to acquire more and more. It is a universal principle which you are part of. You must release everything when you truly awaken. Are you letting your life go by in frustration and worry over not having enough? If so, relax and remember that you only get what you have for a short period of time. When you awaken you will see the folly of being attached to anything. Wayne Dyer

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Let Go – to mentally, emotionally, even psychically detaching oneself from an outcome, result, worry, concern, anger, pain, hurt, goal, challenge, etc.

I’ve written about having faith in others, in yourself, in a Higher Power, etc. before. I’ve talked about letting go in similar ways related to our desires and intentions, and even a little about letting go in relationships and with the loss of a loved ones. I’ve discussed detachment a bit too.

I must be honest, these are some of the harder things for me. In particular, I had difficulty for quite a while with letting go – or what some call the law of detachment.

We’ve had challenges and uncertainty in life and in the world/health/economy. We often consider that uncertainty is always bad.

But it is important to realize that there are good things related to uncertainty. With uncertainty there is a break or freedom from what has happened – from the past. The past does not equal the future. We have the opportunity to escape our own past habits, conditioning, from what we now know. It is an opportunity.

 If we are willing to step into the unknown, to have faith, and to detach ourselves from the outcome, we surrender ourselves to our own creative subconscious, to other people’s love and support, and to the creative powers that exist in this universe.

This doesn’t mean that you give up the intention or the desire, but you give up the attachment to the result.

That’s sometimes a little esoteric for me and difficult for me to do. I do know that it can also be very powerful.

I think about times in the past when I felt that I ‘needed’ a chunk of money to pay something. There are times when I needed a few hundred, other times when I needed tens of thousands of dollars for something.

Maybe for you it was a relationship that you wanted. Or maybe you wanted a new client, more sales, a new car, a house, that gadget, whatever.

We focus on it and we think about it and really just hang on it, right? We have a burning desire, we make a strategy and we really, really want it.

This is typically attachment. Typically this is not helpful. It can be based on insecurity, fear, scarcity. We think that we don’t have it, that it is separate from us and that we have a void and we want it to fill the void.  If you think about creation and abundance, those things are opposites. It can also show a lack of faith in ourselves and Creation.

Abundance, Creation, wealth, can fulfill every need. But are these things that we are chasing, really a need? Are they really necessary?

When we ‘chase things’ we create anxiety, tension, stress, don’t we?

As Deepak Chopra says, “Attachment comes from poverty consciousness, because attachment is always to symbols. Detachment is synonymous with wealth consciousness, because with detachment there is freedom to create. Only from detached involvement can one have joy and laughter.”

(When Chopra speaks of symbols, he means the materialistic, physical things that we desire in life; cars, money, homes, clothes, etc. Often these things can leave us feeling hollow.)

Attachment leads us more towards a world of helplessness, hopelessness, desperation and seriousness, doesn’t it? Think of those times when you felt that you needed something ASAP. You probably worried more, thought about the problem, thought about something related to it from the past or future and you weren’t in the present moment. You probably weren’t as creative or joyful, right?

So How do we DETACH?:  Essentially let go or hand over things to your Creator/God/Higher Power. Let go of all the persons, places and things which you would like to see changed but which you cannot change on your own. 

Realize and take responsibility for your own actions and accept that there is only one person you can change and that is yourself. Let go of the “need” to fix, change, rescue or heal other persons, places and things.

Real detachment means inner strength, and the ability to function calmly and with full inner control under all circumstances. A detached person is not harassed and hurried, and can do everything with concentration and attention, thus insuring a successful outcome of his actions.

There is wisdom in uncertainty. There is freedom and creativity in uncertainty, detachment.

When we are attached to something, we are in some way trying to control things. Controlling such is this is typically because we’re afraid. Our fear and our ego leads us to believe that somehow if we control things, everything will be OK. Instead, letting go will open us up to other possibilities.

We all seek security in one way or another. Again, I cite Chopra’s example when we might  desire money and expect security from it. “When I have X million dollares, then I’ll be secure.” But it never happens.

Seeking security in this manner can lead us to chase it for a lifetime without ever finding it.” Deepak Chopra. http://www.chopra.com/laws/detachment

It is also true that we all can sometimes get attached to “Our Story” – our past, our challenges, our history. This story of our life can limit us greatly if we get emotional and/or attached to it. Instead, we can have a healthy detachment to our past. This allows us to more easily identify the lessons and the benefit that comes from the experience.

Are you stuck in life because you are living out of a story you told yourself long ago? Are you reliving the same story over and over, placing your attention on the story rather than where you want to go? We all do it.

 Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

  • BONUS:

Here are SOME EXCELLENT POINTS ABOUT DETACHMENT

They discuss things more in terms of relationships, but it is still relevant. http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/

What is detachment? Detachment is the: * Ability to allow people, places or things the freedom to be themselves. * Holding back from the need to rescue, save or fix another person from being sick, dysfunctional or irrational. * Giving another person “the space” to be herself. * Disengaging from an over-enmeshed or dependent relationship with people. * Willingness to accept that you cannot change or control a person, place or thing. * Developing and maintaining of a safe, emotional distance from someone whom you have previously given a lot of power to affect your emotional outlook on life. * Establishing of emotional boundaries between you and those people you have become overly enmeshed or dependent with in order that all of you might be able to develop your own sense of autonomy and independence. * Process by which you are free to feel your own feelings when you see another person falter and fail and not be led by guilt to feel responsible for their failure or faltering. * Ability to maintain an emotional bond of love, concern and caring without the negative results of rescuing, enabling, fixing or controlling. * Placing of all things in life into a healthy, rational perspective and recognizing that there is a need to back away from the uncontrollable and unchangeable realities of life. * Ability to exercise emotional self-protection and prevention so as not to experience greater emotional devastation from having hung on beyond a reasonable and rational point. * Ability to let people you love and care for accept personal responsibility for their own actions and to practice tough love and not give in when they come to you to bail them out when their actions lead to failure or trouble for them. * Ability to allow people to be who they “really are” rather than who you “want them to be.” * Ability to avoid being hurt, abused, taken advantage of by people who in the past have been overly dependent or enmeshed with you.

What are the negative effects not detaching? If you are unable to detach from people, places or things, then you: * Will have people, places or things which become over-dependent on you. * Run the risk of being manipulated to do things for people, at places or with things which you do not really want to do. * Can become an obsessive “fix it” who needs to fix everything you perceive to be imperfect. * Run the risk of performing tasks because of the intimidation you experience from people, places or things. * Will most probably become powerless in the face of the demands of the people, places or things whom you have given the power to control you. * Will be blind to the reality that the people, places or things which control you are the uncontrollables and unchangeables you need to let go of if you are to become a fully healthy, coping individual. * Will be easily influenced by the perception of helplessness which these people, places or things project. * Might become caught up with your idealistic need to make everything perfect for people, places or things important to you even if it means your own life becomes unhealthy. * Run the risk of becoming out of control of yourself and experience greater low self-esteem as a result. * Will most probably put off making a decision and following through on it, if you rationally recognize your relationship with a person, place or thing is unhealthy and the only recourse left is to get out of the relationship. * Will be so driven by guilt and emotional dependence that the sickness in the relationship will worsen. * Run the risk of losing your autonomy and independence and derive your value or worth solely from the unhealthy relationship you continue in with the unhealthy person, place or thing.

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