Category Archives: life

Frey Freyday – Define

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Define-[dih-fahyn] -verb to state or set forth the meaning of (a word, phrase, etc.)

 I hope that my daughter grows up empowered and doesn’t define herself by the way she looks but by qualities that make her a intelligent, strong and responsible woman. Isaiah Mustafa

We can each define ambition and progress for ourselves. The goal is to work toward a world where expectations are not set by the stereotypes that hold us back, but by our personal passion, talents and interests. Sheryl Sandberg

Most people are defined by their titles, their cars, their house, where they came from, their color, their race, their religion. And so it’s up to you to take control of your own life and define you. As long as you understand who you are and you have a solid foundation of understanding what your talents are, what your skills are. Stedman Graham

I used to define success as being able to produce any result you wanted, whether it was a relationship, weight-loss, being a millionaire, impacting the culture, changing society, whatever it might be – it might be homelessness, whatever – and lately, I’ve redefined success as ‘fulfilling your soul’s purpose.’ Jack Canfield

Don’t let others define you. You define yourself. Ginni Rometty

WORD TO LIVE BY:

DEFINE – Take a moment to define who you are, who you want to be, and what you want.

I recall a few years ago at a previous employer, a co-worker was single and telling a group of us what she didn’t like about the guys that she dated over the years. She was very clear what she didn’t want. Then, someone asked, “What are you looking for in a guy – what kind of man do you want to date?”

She could not define what she wanted. I believe that this may have been part of the reason why she struggled to find the ‘right’ guy.

I walked away feeling good about myself  for a few moments but then I thought that we all do that in many different situations.

There have been times when I know that I didn’t like a project or even a job that I had but when pushed, I really didn’t know what I wanted in a job or career at that time.

It is hard to be fulfilled, happy, successful, and productive if you don’t define what you want in your career, your relationships, your health, your wealth if you don’t take time to simply define what you want.

Similarly, if you don’t define who you are and who you want to be, you may have feelings of frustration, inadequacy and you’ll feel extra pressure from others and society to define your life according other’s expectations and definitions, which ultimately won’t work.

If you’re unhappy or dissatisfied where you are today, ask yourself if you’ve defined what ‘success’ or ‘happiness’ would look like. How will you know if you’ve reached “it” if you haven’t defined “it”?

When you define what you want or who you are, you make a decision. Decisions lead to goals, beliefs, action and success.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

 

Frey Freyday – Stop

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Stop-[stäp]-VERB-(of an event, action, or process) come to an end; cease to happen:

We are so unforgiving of ourselves. We don’t recognize our own beauty because we’re too busy comparing ourselves to other people. Wayne Dyer

Stop Comparing Yourself With Others – don’t compare yourself to others. There will always be someone better or worse. Run your own race. Do better than you did last time. You are unique. Do your thing. Comparing leads to envy, feelings of inadequacy, etc. If you’re grateful for what you have, and if you focus on what works and where you want to go/improve, then others won’t matter anyhow.

We can each define ambition and progress for ourselves. The goal is to work toward a world where expectations are not set by the stereotypes that hold us back, but by our personal passion, talents and interests. Sheryl Sandberg

Stop Being Trapped By Peoples’ Judgements, Expectations, and Assumptions Of You- It used to really bother me when people made a judgement or assumption about me, even if it was correct, but typically it was incorrect. “You don’t know me”, I thought. Even well-meaning and loving friends, relatives, colleagues place expectations upon us. We can easily ‘feel’ the expectations that society puts on us. There are all sorts of expectations about education; that you should obtain a degree, secure a good job, find a soulmate in your twenties, and then get married and raise a happy family. But it does not need to happen that way. Make up your own map, your own route. We are expected to maintain a lot of good friends, be good citizens, have a nice home, dress a certain way. Some people think that we should manage our emotions and keep our vulnerable side hidden. All these expectations can weigh heavily upon us. Again, block out the outside voices, be calm, get connected and listen to the ‘real you’, your inner voice. If you need to, pray, meditate, take a walk. Separate your desires from those imposed upon you by external forces. Take time to know yourself and shape a life that suits you rather than following the expectations of the crowd. Stop caring what others think. They don’t really know the real you anyhow. Also, others may be fearful and even though they love and care for you, their fears may cloud what they say or do for you.

To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him. Buddha

Stop Sacrificing Your Happiness For Someone Else- Sure, there are times in the short-term where you may have to do something, or not do something, in order to help a loved-one out, to get them through something. Any caring person may want to do that. But sometimes we may feel like we have to put our dreams on hold to cater to someone else’s desires or lifestyle preferences. Perhaps you move in order to support your mate’s career, or maybe you have taken on a less desirable job so you can spend more time caring for someone. Ask anyone who has done it for a period of time; sacrificing one’s own happiness may feel noble but in the long run it seldom works well. Self-sacrifice leads to bitterness and resentment, whereas chasing one’s dreams often results in contentment and fulfilment. Try to strike a compromise between supporting others and leading the kind of life you want. Remember, too, that there is no way to happiness, but you need to be happy along the way no matter where you are.

If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of. Bruce Lee

Stop Wasting Time On Meaningless Stuff- Time is the most precious commodity of all. You can always make more friends and earn more money, but time spent is time you will never see again. Some hobbies and pastimes are good, even healthy to a degree. It’s Ok to have a ‘guilty pleasure’ once in a while with an activity, TV show or good book. However, stop wasting time on frivolous pursuits and learn how to focus. It’s OK and important to relax and unwind once in a while, but if you want to lead your ideal life then you need to clarify your aims and devote the majority of your time to making sure they are realized.

Successful people, regardless of career or income, maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them. Jack Canfield

Stop Focusing On The Negative –In any garden there are healthy, good plants and vegetables, and there are weeds. I don’t recommend ignoring the weeds, but are you focusing on just the weeds? Everyday we all face a mixture of we interpret as good, bad, and annoying things, perhaps. Remember that your experience of life will largely depend upon the perspective you choose to take. If you focus on the negatives in every situation, you are training yourself to view the world through a negative lens. Try to find the positive in every situation and life will feel much more bearable. Focus on what is working in your life. Focus on successful references in your past to build confidence. Focus on what you want from life and where you want to go. If you spend time with other positive people, this can help you develop this habit. We are the ‘average of the 5 people we spend time with’.

It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. Confucius

Stop Waiting To Get What You Want – It’s Ok to want things and to have goals. It’s Ok to want things to be better. However, waiting is not the answer. Life is too short. We must take action. Ask yourself what you have done lately to make progress towards your goals. What can you do today, even the smallest thing, to work towards a goal? Ultimately the initiative and energy must come from you. Make 2017 the year you stop waiting and start taking actions.

You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Henry David Thoreau

Stop And Smell the Roses – Again, life is too short. Be in the moment. Enjoy the world around you each day. Your best memories exist because you were present in that moment. You are creating new memories now – unless you’re not in the moment. Tell your loved ones how you feel. Take time to communicate and connect, that’s why we’re here. Enjoy life.

You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action. Tony Robbins

Don’t Stop Taking Action.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

 

Frey Freyday – LUCK

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

LUCK – [lək] – success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one’s own actions:

People often remark that I’m pretty lucky. Luck is only important in so far as getting the chance to sell yourself at the right moment. After that, you’ve got to have talent and know how to use it. Frank Sinatra

Inspiration is one thing and you can’t control it, but hard work is what keeps the ship moving. Good luck means, work hard. Keep up the good work. Kevin Eubanks

The best luck of all is the luck you make for yourself. Douglas MacArthur

I’ve found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances. Be more active. Show up more often. Brian Tracy

Luck is where opportunity meets preparation. Seneca

My success was due to good luck, hard work, and support and advice from friends and mentors. But most importantly, it depended on me to keep trying after I had failed. Mark Warner

Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get. Ray Kroc

Luck has nothing to do with it, because I have spent many, many hours, countless hours, on the court working for my one moment in time, not knowing when it would come. Serena Williams

A career path is rarely a path at all. A more interesting life is usual a more crooked, winding path of missteps, luck and vigorous work. It is almost always a clumsy balance between the things you try to make happen and the things that happen to you. Tom Freston

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. Steven Wright

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. Rodney Dangerfield

WORD TO LIVE BY:

LUCK –

Did you ever notice that when something good happens, some people say something like, “Hey, You’re lucky.”  Often it doesn’t really sound like a compliment, in fact it sounds much like they are either dismissing your success to something that came from any other than you or your efforts.

Many times when someone is jealous, envious or just plain doesn’t understand how hard you’ve worked, they might say this…..

Imagine the situation: You may have practiced, worked hard, called, walked, trained, or taken some action for a long period of time with plans and consideration – all things they don’t necessarily see or know about in the moment. They see the moment of your success and for whatever reason, the word “lucky” can discount our efforts.

There may be moments or situations of luck, true – but it is then what you do with those opportunities that matter. We’ve all had opportunities come and go and we did nothing. Maybe it was luck that brought the moment to us but we didn’t act in time. Or perhaps we tried to act but we weren’t prepared to do enough. There are also other times when we had a chance, we were prepared enough, and we took it and used our talents to move ahead, to take advantage of the situation for the better.

Luck doesn’t come to those who wait around. One must go out and take action, “Keep Swinging” as they say – by honing one’s skills, keeping a good attitude and focus, and simply by taking consistent action, Luck finds us.

Luck is also very much about our focus and how we frame things – how we assign meaning to events in life. I know people who complain when they are busy, when they are not. They are unhappy by a variety of circumstances. These types of people never feel lucky even though “good things” do come their way. They’re often not much fun to be around either.

Similarly, I know people who have gone through tough times, who face adversity but they feel lucky for it, and they are grateful. I am confident that those people see more luck in the world and they probably create more of it too. Frankly, most of us like to be around people like this.

Like the Chinese proverb below about luck and fortune, two people can see the same event differently. We can choose to see our own lives as lucky if we choose to do so.

CHINESE PROVERB: Sāi Wēng lived on the border and he raised horses for a living. One day, he lost one of his prized horses. After hearing of the misfortune, his neighbor felt sorry for him and came to comfort him. But Sāi Wēng simply asked, “How could we know it is not a good thing for me?”

After a while, the lost horse returned and with another beautiful horse. The neighbor came over again and congratulated  Sāi Wēng on his good fortune. But Sāi Wēng simply asked, “How could we know it is not a bad thing for me?”

One day, his son went out for a ride with the new horse. He was violently thrown from the horse and broke his leg. The neighbors once again expressed their condolences to Sāi Wēng, but Sāi Wēng simply said, “How could we know it is not a good thing for me?” One year later, the Emperor’s army arrived at the village to recruit all able-bodied men to fight in the war. Because of his injury, Sāi Wēng’s son could not go off to war, and was spared from certain death.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

Frey Freyday- Contribute

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

CONTRIBUTE – [kənˈtribyo͞ot] – give (something, especially money) in order to help achieve or provide something:

Don’t underestimate the power of your vision to change the world. Whether that world is your office, your community, an industry or a global movement, you need to have a core belief that what you contribute can fundamentally change the paradigm or way of thinking about problems. Leroy Hood

If we’re destroying our trees and destroying our environment and hurting animals and hurting one another and all that stuff, there’s got to be a very powerful energy to fight that. I think we need more love in the world. We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to that. Ellen DeGeneres

The promise of the American Dream requires that we are all provided an equal opportunity to participate in and contribute to our nation. Charles B. Rangel

Having a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing seems to me to be one of the most basic principles that you can adopt to contribute to individual and world peace. Wayne Dyer

I am convinced that material things can contribute somewhat to making one’s life pleasant, but, basically, if you do not have very good friends and relatives who matter to you, life will be really empty and sad and material things cease to be important. David Rockefeller

Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life’s deepest joy: true fulfillment. It is not what we get. But who we become, what we contribute… that gives meaning to our lives. Tony Robbins

People respond in accordance to how you relate to them. If you approach them on the basis of violence, that’s how they’ll react. But if you say, ‘We want peace, we want stability,’ we can then do a lot of things that will contribute towards the progress of our society. Nelson Mandela

WORD TO LIVE BY:
Contribute – By giving our time, resources, money we enrich others around us, our communities and ourselves.

There are many reasons why contributing to our world, society, community, loved ones, strangers should be a priority.

The Golden Rule or law of reciprocity is the principle of treating others as one would wish to be treated oneself. Multiple religions discuss this and atheists also often embrace it. Kharma – what goes around comes around.

Some people contribute to others in some way just because they think or feel that it’s the right thing to do.

Contributing to our communities, cities, organizations and to our world is actually self-serving, too. By contributing time, money, resources, things and people improve around us. Perhaps that person that was once struggling, now doing better, can now generate some tax base, do something productive, and contribute in some way. If we help others improve then the whole group/community/society improves.

Contributing gives us good stuff personally. When we contribute or give to others, we actually get a jolt of good endorphins and hormones in our brains and bodies as we do it. We get a good feeling from contributing. Contributing give us purpose, gives us meaning, gives us lots of good things that we need.

I recall a time when I wasn’t doing well in my career or with my personal finances. I decided to join a few organizations solely for the purpose of networking so I could get more business and improve things.

I got involved, started volunteering for things, and I became active in the actual activities. I stopped looking to receive “leads” or business and just got involved. I found that I began to enjoy life more, appreciate things more and I was in fact happier. I felt driven by a purpose and felt good about spending time/effort towards a cause. I even gave money despite being tight financially. Interestingly enough, when I wasn’t looking for leads, business and when I wasn’t concerned with receiving business referrals out of it and when I just did it for the right reasons, I then began to get referrals, get business. I believe that I acted differently and that attracted the right people and situations.

Now, whenever things get out of perspective or when I have a challenge in my life I try to reflect. Often it may be a lack of focus on my part or I’m being self-centered. Contributing in some way helps me to think outward, give and this gets me back on track in many ways.

Contributing helps us leave the scarcity mindset because we’re saying, “Hey, there’s enough time/resources/money in my life and I’m going to give some of it away….” When we contribute we act from an abundance mindset, regardless what our net worth is……

Regardless of our talents, resources, wealth and finances, we all can contribute in some way.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

CONTRIBUTE – [kənˈtribyo͞ot] – give (something, especially money) in order to help achieve or provide something:

Don’t underestimate the power of your vision to change the world. Whether that world is your office, your community, an industry or a global movement, you need to have a core belief that what you contribute can fundamentally change the paradigm or way of thinking about problems. Leroy Hood

If we’re destroying our trees and destroying our environment and hurting animals and hurting one another and all that stuff, there’s got to be a very powerful energy to fight that. I think we need more love in the world. We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to that. Ellen DeGeneres

The promise of the American Dream requires that we are all provided an equal opportunity to participate in and contribute to our nation. Charles B. Rangel

Having a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing seems to me to be one of the most basic principles that you can adopt to contribute to individual and world peace. Wayne Dyer

I am convinced that material things can contribute somewhat to making one’s life pleasant, but, basically, if you do not have very good friends and relatives who matter to you, life will be really empty and sad and material things cease to be important. David Rockefeller

Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life’s deepest joy: true fulfillment. It is not what we get. But who we become, what we contribute… that gives meaning to our lives. Tony Robbins

People respond in accordance to how you relate to them. If you approach them on the basis of violence, that’s how they’ll react. But if you say, ‘We want peace, we want stability,’ we can then do a lot of things that will contribute towards the progress of our society. Nelson Mandela

WORD TO LIVE BY:
Contribute – By giving our time, resources, money we enrich others around us, our communities and ourselves.

There are many reasons why contributing to our world, society, community, loved ones, strangers should be a priority.

The Golden Rule or law of reciprocity is the principle of treating others as one would wish to be treated oneself. Multiple religions discuss this and atheists also often embrace it. Kharma – what goes around comes around.

Some people contribute to others in some way just because they think or feel that it’s the right thing to do.

Contributing to our communities, cities, organizations and to our world is actually self-serving, too. By contributing time, money, resources, things and people improve around us. Perhaps that person that was once struggling, now doing better, can now generate some tax base, do something productive, and contribute in some way. If we help others improve then the whole group/community/society improves.

Contributing gives us good stuff personally. When we contribute or give to others, we actually get a jolt of good endorphins and hormones in our brains and bodies as we do it. We get a good feeling from contributing. Contributing give us purpose, gives us meaning, gives us lots of good things that we need.

I recall a time when I wasn’t doing well in my career or with my personal finances. I decided to join a few organizations solely for the purpose of networking so I could get more business and improve things.

I got involved, started volunteering for things, and I became active in the actual activities. I stopped looking to receive “leads” or business and just got involved. I found that I began to enjoy life more, appreciate things more and I was in fact happier. I felt driven by a purpose and felt good about spending time/effort towards a cause. I even gave money despite being tight financially. Interestingly enough, when I wasn’t looking for leads, business and when I wasn’t concerned with receiving business referrals out of it and when I just did it for the right reasons, I then began to get referrals, get business. I believe that I acted differently and that attracted the right people and situations.

Now, whenever things get out of perspective or when I have a challenge in my life I try to reflect. Often it may be a lack of focus on my part or I’m being self-centered. Contributing in some way helps me to think outward, give and this gets me back on track in many ways.

Contributing helps us leave the scarcity mindset because we’re saying, “Hey, there’s enough time/resources/money in my life and I’m going to give some of it away….” When we contribute we act from an abundance mindset, regardless what our net worth is……

Regardless of our talents, resources, wealth and finances, we all can contribute in some way.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

 

Frey Freyday – Fulfillment

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

FULFILLMENT – [foo l-fil-muh nt] -the state or quality of being fulfilled; completion; realization:

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost. H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I firmly believe that any man’s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle. Vince Lombardi

Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life’s deepest joy: true fulfillment. Tony Robbins

Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life; everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated, thus, everyone’s task is unique as his specific opportunity to implement it. Viktor E. Frankl

An attitude to life which seeks fulfillment in the single-minded pursuit of wealth – in short, materialism – does not fit into this world, because it contains within itself no limiting principle, while the environment in which it is placed is strictly limited. E. F. Schumacher

If you so choose, even the unexpected setbacks can bring new and positive possibilities. If you so choose, you can find value and fulfillment in every circumstance. Ralph Marston

It’s OK to have a plan, to invest in your future – for your financial security, your love life, your personal fulfillment, and even your happiness. To have personal happiness as a stated goal doesn’t detract from it if you get there. Karen Finerman

Most of us have considerable prosperity in our lives. Often, we are so busy pursuing our unmet desires that we are unable to enjoy all that we already have. Allowing ourselves to really appreciate the prosperity we have created is a big step toward opening to even greater fulfillment. Shakti Gawain

It is not in the pursuit of happiness that we find fulfillment, it is in the happiness of pursuit. Denis Waitley

WORD TO LIVE BY:
Fulfillment
– It is something that we sometimes chase yet we have it right inside of us and can find it whenever we really want. Fulfilling oneself often has little to do with thinking or doing for oneself but thinking or doing for another. Fulfillment is unique to all of us. Fulfillment is necessary for happiness, happiness is necessary for fulfillment.

What does fulfillment really mean? I think that’s up to us. I think about Robin Williams. People all over the world loved him. He made us laugh and cry. He was so talented. He wanted to achieve so many things in life, and he did so. He had a hit T.V. series, great stand-up comedy, he won awards for being a comedian and for being a serious actor. He made great movies. He had a loving family and personal wealth. He had friends and loved ones. He had all of these achievements but still he was not fulfilled.

Our society can push achievement, possessions, educational accomplishments, wealth, career…. Yet those things typically don’t lead us directly to fulfillment.

Contributing, helping others, finding and following a purpose in one’s life helps us closer to fulfillment.

Appreciating what we have, being happy now regardless of the circumstances, living in the moment and thoughts of gratitude are necessary for fulfillment.

Many of us are looking for that thing that will give us deep fulfilment. It isn’t outside of you. It’s not hiding in a job, in possessions, in a house, in a relationship, or anything else. There is nothing wrong with having those things and they are all nice things to have. But remember that deep fulfillment will not come from any of those sources. It comes from you, your actions, your thoughts, the meaning you assign to things……

You’re already a full and complete person.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

Frey Freyday -Control/Connection

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Control – [kuh n-trohl] – to exercise restraint or direction over; dominate;

Connect – [kuhnekt] – to associate mentally or emotionally

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou

The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you. Tony Robbins

I’m very happy with my life. I am what I am. I don’t worry about anything that I can’t control. That’s a really good lesson in life. Tom Watson

The world is so unpredictable. Things happen suddenly, unexpectedly. We want to feel we are in control of our own existence. In some ways we are, in some ways we’re not. We are ruled by the forces of chance and coincidence. Paul Auster

Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success. Paul J. Meyer

The business of business is relationships; the business of life is human connection. Robin S. Sharma

Live-tweeting your bikini wax is not vulnerability. Nor is posting a blow-by-blow of your divorce . That’s an attempt to hot-wire connection. But you can’t cheat real connection. It’s built up slowly. It’s about trust and time. Brene Brown

People are so fearful about opening themselves up. All you want to do is to be able to connect with other people. When you connect with other people, you connect with something in yourself. It makes you feel happy. And yet it’s so scary – it makes people feel vulnerable and unsafe. Toni Collette

I think any new technology that helps connect and create social cohesion is great. But at the end of the day, you and I are analog creatures. We have to take ‘oohs and aahs’ and convert them to 0s and 1s and then convert them back to ‘oohs and aahs.’ Narratives that work in social networks are the exchange of stories that are told well. Peter Guber

A great attitude does much more than turn on the lights in our worlds; it seems to magically connect us to all sorts of serendipitous opportunities and people that were somehow absent before the change. Earl Nightingale

I like to control everything, and you cannot control everything. You have to at some point say, ‘I let go and I’m going to let the cards fall where they fall… For a control freak, it’s hard. Naomi Campbell

WORDS TO LIVE BY:

CONTROL and CONNECT

We humans like to control things – our ego believes that we can and should control anything. When we are fearful or when we come from a place of scarcity, we like to control. Control gives us a false sense of security.

Connection is what humans are really about when we’re in our best state of mind. We connect to others, we connect to nature, we connect to our creative self. We can connect with work, happiness, grief, struggle, triumph and loss. For those that believe, we can be inspired and connected to God, the Universe or the Source. We connect better when we come from a place of certainty, calm, and abundance. (In this case abundance isn’t referring to monetary or materialistic abundance – here abundance means an abundance of love, creativity, family, friends, and the connection to all of these.)

Often parents take the role of controlling their children or their child’s life. At first, when they are you, this is often needed. But as they get older, all parties might do better if the parent tried to connect more with the child and control less. A worried parent will try to control their child or the situation, which can stifle the child, hamper the opportunity to grow, and even hinder the parent/child relationship. By taking time to connect with a child (at any age) instead of trying to control, more intimacy is built, more insight, trust, and understanding comes about.
Men and women both have male and female archetypes. For instance, when a father is nurturing to his child, he may be coming more from the female archetype, more from connection. When a mother tries to control the child or the child’s situation, she is coming more from the male archetype and less from connection.

Control in any relationship; parent/child, husband/wife, etc. typically leads to less intimacy and the relationship growth slows.One human shouldn’t and really can’t control another in a healthy relationship. There may be situations where a mother is being more controlling and she isn’t connecting enough. This is typically a male archetype which can also make her less attractive to the opposite sex. Her attempt to control can push others away. Likewise, a male without any control can have the same result. There has to be a balance of sorts for each sex, there has to be the appropriate amount of control and connection.
As I stated before, our egos give us a sense that we can control life. We rarely do. Planning certainly helps and planning can feed creativity and opportunity, but control cannot. Planning a life or a situation or planning together for a strong relationship is wise but ultimately after the planning is done, we must let go and have faith.

Similarly, planning and giving gentle guidance to a child is helpful and nurturing yet we also must trust in our child and trust in the world and we must let go. Knees will get skinned. Bones may even break. Hearts will break. Mistakes will happen. Yet our guidance along the way will kick in and the child will learn and succeed.

Similarly, in our own lives, we may skin our proverbial knees and make mistakes – and we should all realize by now that we really can’t control much. The ego is wrong. Judgement is wrong. Let’s let go of the fear and have faith. Let’s connect with our world, our loved ones and ourselves and let good things come our way.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

Frey Freyday – Focus

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Focus – [foh-kuh s] – to concentrate: to focus one’s thoughts. a central point, as of attraction, attention, or activity:

It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.-Aristotle Onassis

Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them.-Jack Canfield

Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.-Alexander Graham Bell

Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life.-Eckhart Tolle

One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular.-Tony Robbins

You’ve just got to focus on excellence and try not to be distracted by the news and the rumors and the absurdities of the stories that were coming out.-James Daly

Enlightened leadership is spiritual if we understand spirituality not as some kind of religious dogma or ideology but as the domain of awareness where we experience values like truth, goodness, beauty, love and compassion, and also intuition, creativity, insight and focused attention.-Deepak Chopra

Accidents, coincidences, and serendipities are the disguises I use to sneak magic and miracles into your life without arousing suspicion that the game is rigged, the dragons are fake, and you’re about to hit the biggest “home run” of your life. Just keep focusing on what you want and move ahead. Now, please don’t ruin this for anyone – The Universe http://www.tut.com

The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire not things we fear.-Brian Tracy

Word to Live By:

Focus – Where focus goes, energy flows. And where energy flows, whatever you’re focusing on grows.

I think that most of us “know” that our life is controlled by what we focus on. However, most of us don’t often consciously try to change our patterns about our daily focus. Most of us probably aren’t aware of where we put our focus.

All the time, we have negativity, conflict, hostility, resistance, loss and scarcity around us. The news and media seems to spend their time and focus on this, and much of society gets swept away in this bundle of nervous energy, stress, and worry.

I know a few people in my life that are loving, caring, bright people but they get swept up in this worry and negativity. When I see them the conversation often leads to, “Did you see the sad news about…..”, and they remind me of something in the news about crime, downtrends, or something negative. I think we all do this from time to time. Is that useful?

But that’s not the whole picture.

Everyday there are good people, improvements, good events, uptrends, kindness, success, celebrations, laughter, and opportunity. Because humans are wired the way we are, this sort of thing doesn’t make the headlines. We don’t hear about these things nearly as much.

First, don’t watch the news. I’m not saying don’t skim headlines and be aware of current events – a quick scroll over headlines is often necessary. However there is very little benefit from sitting and watching local or national news, in my opinion. How is it useful that you sit and get bombarded by the telecast that includes the latest political conflict, crime sprees, fires, natural disasters and such? Gee, let’s watch that and then try to go tackle the day in a positive, upbeat manner. Do you feel empowered after the news? Likely not.

In our personal lives it’s the same thing. Our jobs have points of resistance and conflict. Management may ‘pressure’ the workers. There may be hostility. Some people highlight the negative no matter how well things are going. Some of your friends may only care about putting in a day’s work with the most basic, minimum effort just to get by.

What if you want to improve yourself? What if you have goals? What if you want to contribute, help others, succeed or otherwise accomplish something? Does the negativity of the media help? Do those naysayers and negative friends help?

Race car driving coaches teach drivers to focus on the desire path ahead, not the wall. When we drive on the roads, we don’t focus on the telephone poles, we look to where we want to go. Similarly in life we need to focus on the path, the mindset, the energy that we want in our future. Both choices area available to us each day.

I believe for happiness, success, peace of mind, fulfillment – each day we need to focus on where we want to go, our goals, our values, what we have (loved ones, accomplishments, memories) not on what we fear or what we lack. When we are in a state of uncertainty next time, let’s try to interrupt the pattern of scarcity or fear, then shift our focus toward where we want to go, what we have, and what we can do and furthermore consider what actions we can take in that direction.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

%d bloggers like this: