Category Archives: life

Frey Freyday – leader series-Abraham Maslow

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

This ‘leader-series’ is a sub-set of Frey Freydays – celebrities, influencers, icons and other people that are well-known that, although not perfect, have led an inspirational life in some way or have made some contribution to society, etc. and people from which we can learn. In no order and certainly the list is un-ending.

-ABRAHAM MASLOW

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. Abraham Maslow  –

What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself. Abraham Maslow  –

The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness. Abraham Maslow  –

What a man can be, he must be. This need we call self-actualization. Abraham Maslow  –

Marriage is a school itself. Also, having children. Becoming a father changed my whole life. It taught me as if by revelation. Abraham Maslow

Classic economic theory, based as it is on an inadequate theory of human motivation, could be revolutionized by accepting the reality of higher human needs, including the impulse to self actualization and the love for the highest values. Abraham Maslow  –

The story of the human race is the story of men and women selling themselves short. Abraham Maslow  –

If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life. Abraham Maslow  –

The fact is that people are good, Give people affection and security, and they will give affection and be secure in their feelings and their behavior. Abraham Maslow —

WORDS TO LIVE BY:

“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”

Abraham Maslow was an American psychologist who was best known for creating Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (see below), a theory of psychological health predicated on fulfilling innate human needs.

In short, he believed that every person has a strong desire to realize their full potential, to reach a level of “self-actualization”. The main point of that new movement was to emphasize the positive potential of human beings.

Maslow was concerned with questions such as, “Why don’t more people self-actualize if their basic needs are met? How can we humanistically understand the problem of evil?”

For me personally, when I was in college, I always had an interest in psychology. One of my favorite college professors introduced me to Maslow during class.

When I read and learned about Maslow, I just felt like I suddenly understood all of our thinking a little more. I could identify the theories in myself and others. I agreed with so many of the thoughts, quotes and theories put forth.

It also gave me hope, I am an optimist and I feel that I can make life better. Maslow suggests that we all can, if we find the needs, develop and self-actualize. It resonated with me; progress is good, living in the moment is good, we all have much more potential than we often realize, we should strive to be self-aware, people are mostly good, and so on…..

…Maslow’s philosophies are about goodness, responsibility, hope, being alive, potential…

  • I appreciate Maslow’s point of view that, “To be mentally healthy, individuals must take personal responsibility for their actions…”
  • I wish more people remembered his point; “Each person, simply by being, is inherently worthy.”
  • He also stressed, “to attain personal growth and understanding..”. While I don’t think that this may be everything in life, it is certainly important to me.So many of these concepts are still being discussed today, even though Maslow passed away suddenly of a heart attack in 1970.Human needs as identified by Maslow: (in order of the most basic to the higher levels)
  • I thought Maslow offers simple yet meaningful ideas that are applicable to anyone. They, like so many pieces of wisdom, his thoughts are relatively easy to understand, and worth being reminded about from time to time.

I also found a connection with Maslow’s concept known as Peak experiences, which as he stated, profound moments of love, understanding, happiness, or clarity, etc. It is in these moments where we feel more alive, happy, at peace, connected, etc. I remember the morning of one of my college psychology classes; I walked outside in the woods on a beautiful spring morning. I looked suddenly to the left and a deer was a few feet away chewing on something, just staring at me. We both stayed in the moment for a long time. I felt at peace, happy, connected, calm and strong. Later, sitting in class, the professor explained what a peak experience was, and I knew that I had a peak experience that very morning.

So many of these concepts are still being discussed today, even though Maslow passed away suddenly of a heart attack in 1970.

I thought Maslow offers simple yet meaningful ideas that are applicable to anyone. They, like so many pieces of wisdom, his thoughts are relatively easy to understand, and worth being reminded about from time to time.

Human needs as identified by Maslow: (in order of the most basic to the higher levels)

  •  “Basic needs or Physiological needs” of a human being: food, water, sleep, sex, homeostasis, and excretion.
  • “Safety Needs: Security, Order, and Stability”. Items important to the physical survival of the person. After we humans have basic nutrition, shelter and safety, we can accomplish more.
  • Next level of need is “Love and Belonging”, when we take care of ourselves physically, we can share ourselves with others.
  • The fourth level is achieved when individuals feel comfortable with what they have accomplished. Often referred to as the “Esteem” level, it talks about the need to be competent and recognized, such as through status and level of success.
  • Next is the “Cognitive” level, where individuals intellectually stimulate themselves and explore.
  • After that is the “Aesthetic” level, which is the need for harmony, order and beauty.
  • At the highest level, Maslow stated, “Need for Self-actualization” occurs when we reach a state of peace, connection and understanding when we approach or reach a level where we’re engaged in achieving their full potential.
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Frey Freyday – What if?

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Anytime you write something, you go through so many phases. You go through the ‘I’m a Fraud’ phase. You go through the ‘I’ll Never Finish’ phase. And every once in a while you think, ‘What if I actually have created what I set out to create, and it’s received as such?’ Lin-Manuel Miranda –

What if? Do it no matter what. If you believe in it, it is something very honorable. If somebody around you or your family does not understand it, then that’s their problem. But if you do have a passion, an honest passion, just do it. Mario Andretti –

Every album, I’m worried that I’m a dork and a fraud – ‘What if I can’t sing anymore?’ Then I stop thinking and start playing guitar, and I realize that it’s okay to suck, and move forward. Pink –

A lot of amateurs are terrified of going up against a player who is clearly better than they are. They never play their best, because they aren’t comfortable. There’s one surefire way to get over that, and it’s to ask yourself, ‘What if I beat him?’ Imagine the possibility. Fuzzy Zoeller –

In society, we have these unspoken rules of conduct, these ‘shoulds.’ Even though we pride ourselves on being a democracy, there are all these ways we say you ‘should’ behave. But what if you’re living your life by the ‘shoulds’ and you’re not really living your life? Chris Noth –

WORDS TO LIVE BY:

What if?– A powerful question that can help or hurt your state of mind and creativity.

The question “What if?” can take us down a rabbit-hole; a good one or bad one.

We can sit around and ask bad “What if?” questions like, what if he is lying somewhere in a ditch, what if I try and fail, what if I make a fool of myself, and things like that. We all do it but it isn’t really productive or helpful. Often these questions are part of worrying, and they make us ‘visualize negatively’. In other words, we picture bad stuff in our head, we visualize bad scenarios, limitations and so forth rather than the opposite.

It is OK to naturally ask these in reaction or reflex to situations – our reptilian brain reacts a certain way sometimes. The best thing to do is if you ask a ‘bad’ or ‘disempowering’ “What if?” question, be aware of it, don’t judge it, don’t beat yourself up, just be aware and recognize it. Then try to come up with a few empowering “What if?” questions and focus on them.

We can also sit around and ask “What if?” in a good way – what if we succeed, what if I meet the right person, what if I say the right thing, what if I have all I need within me now,…and so forth. These are empowering questions.

If we ask our brain a question, like a computer, it will search for an answer, so asking good “What if” questions can bring results….

“What if?”- if humans didn’t ask this, so many wonderful things would simply not exist.: Movies, books, Disney World, airplanes, inventions, innovations, relationships, cures, medicine, treatments, healing, research, results, answers…..

Asking “What if?” opens our mind up. We see a universe of possibilities ahead. The world opens.

For some people, asking ‘what if’ feels risky because it means you might have to acknowledge that what you’ve worked hard to put in place might not be the best solution. But if we don’t have the courage to question our assumptions we’re choosing to stagnate by default.

Also, sometimes asking a different “What if?” question can help remove some fear and anxiety we may have about something – sometimes it is best to just address the worst case scenario – “What if I fail or what if it really goes wrong, what is the worst that can happen?” Seriously, I’ve asked myself this a few times and I find that it is disarming – maybe I fail, so what? The worst thing is sometimes not that bad. Even if it is, sometimes just stating it takes away the power. What if I fail? I learn things, I learn how not to do something, how to do it better, and that’s life. We often learn more from failures that from successes.

Think about it, “What if ….Thomas Edison didn’t turn failure into success, what if the Wright Brothers just stuck to bicycles, what if ……..so many things in our past came from someone asking “What if?”

For the future, what are some good “What if?” questions? What if we can find a better way to talk about policy and politics? What if we can reimagine how we construct houses? What if we find better ways to address poverty? What if a simple solution could change the world?

It is exciting, isn’t it?

What if today you realized that you are enough?

What if you finally understood that you are loved and that you are capable of doing almost anything?

What if you could make the changes you know you need to make?

What if you had the courage to take action and pursue that “one” thing, right now?

What if you told someone that you cared about how you really felt?

What if you made an effort to connect to someone who is struggling?

What if you made the world a little better today? What if things went your way today? What if you are lucky?

What if we found a better way to do something?

What if we really listened to each other?

What is your “What if?”

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

BONUS :

Interactive Website: https://www.thehenryford.org/explore/stories-of-innovation/what-if/

Article: The Power Of ‘What If’ https://www.forbes.com/sites/mikemyatt/2013/02/08/the-power-of-what-if/#ff50ff9589f3

Frey Freyday – Lucky

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

LUCK – [lək] – success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one’s own actions:

People often remark that I’m pretty lucky. Luck is only important in so far as getting the chance to sell yourself at the right moment. After that, you’ve got to have talent and know how to use it. Frank Sinatra –

Inspiration is one thing and you can’t control it, but hard work is what keeps the ship moving. Good luck means, work hard. Keep up the good work. Kevin Eubanks –

The best luck of all is the luck you make for yourself. Douglas MacArthur –

I’ve found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances. Be more active. Show up more often. Brian Tracy –

Luck is where opportunity meets preparation. Seneca –

My success was due to good luck, hard work, and support and advice from friends and mentors. But most importantly, it depended on me to keep trying after I had failed. Mark Warner

Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get. Ray Kroc –

Luck has nothing to do with it, because I have spent many, many hours, countless hours, on the court working for my one moment in time, not knowing when it would come. Serena Williams –

A career path is rarely a path at all. A more interesting life is usual a more crooked, winding path of missteps, luck and vigorous work. It is almost always a clumsy balance between the things you try to make happen and the things that happen to you. Tom Freston –

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. Steven Wright –

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. Rodney Dangerfield –

WORD TO LIVE BY:

 

LUCK –

Did you ever notice that when something good happens, some people say something like, “Hey, You’re lucky.”  Often it doesn’t really sound like a compliment, in fact it sounds much like they are either dismissing your success to something that came from any other than you or your efforts.

 

Many times when someone is jealous, envious or just plain doesn’t understand how hard you’ve worked, they might say this…..

 

Imagine the situation: You may have practiced, worked hard, called, walked, trained, or taken some action for a long period of time with plans and consideration – all things they don’t necessarily see or know about in the moment. They see the moment of your success and for whatever reason, the word “lucky” can discount our efforts.

 

There may be moments or situations of luck, true – but it is then what you do with those opportunities that matter. We’ve all had opportunities come and go and we did nothing. Maybe it was luck that brought the moment to us but we didn’t act in time. Or perhaps we tried to act but we weren’t prepared to do enough. There are also other times when we had a chance, we were prepared enough, and we took it and used our talents to move ahead, to take advantage of the situation for the better.

 

Luck doesn’t come to those who wait around. One must go out and take action, “Keep Swinging” as they say – by honing one’s skills, keeping a good attitude and focus, and simply by taking consistent action, Luck finds us.

 

Luck is also very much about our focus and how we frame things – how we assign meaning to events in life. I know people who complain when they are busy, when they are not. They are unhappy by a variety of circumstances. These types of people never feel lucky even though “good things” do come their way. They’re often not much fun to be around either.

 

Similarly, I know people who have gone through tough times, who face adversity but they feel lucky for it, and they are grateful. I am confident that those people see more luck in the world and they probably create more of it too. Frankly, most of us like to be around people like this.

 

Like the Chinese proverb below about luck and fortune, two people can see the same event differently. We can choose to see our own lives as lucky if we choose to do so.

CHINESE PROVERB: Sāi Wēng lived on the border and he raised horses for a living. One day, he lost one of his prized horses. After hearing of the misfortune, his neighbor felt sorry for him and came to comfort him. But Sāi Wēng simply asked, “How could we know it is not a good thing for me?”

After a while, the lost horse returned and with another beautiful horse. The neighbor came over again and congratulated  Sāi Wēng on his good fortune. But Sāi Wēng simply asked, “How could we know it is not a bad thing for me?”

One day, his son went out for a ride with the new horse. He was violently thrown from the horse and broke his leg. The neighbors once again expressed their condolences to Sāi Wēng, but Sāi Wēng simply said, “How could we know it is not a good thing for me?” One year later, the Emperor’s army arrived at the village to recruit all able-bodied men to fight in the war. Because of his injury, Sāi Wēng’s son could not go off to war, and was spared from certain death.

 

I am lucky. My career, my family, my friends, my wife, my daughters – I was born into a great family and situation and many good things have come my way. I don’t always recognize or remember it but I am. How are you lucky?

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

 

Frey Freyday – Superheroes

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Superhero – [soo-per-heer-oh] -a fictional hero having extraordinary or superhuman powers; also : an exceptionally skillful or successful person

Dad is and always will be my living, breathing superhero. Bindi Irwin –

You can’t relate to a superhero, to a superman, but you can identify with a real man who in times of crisis draws forth some extraordinary quality from within himself and triumphs but only after a struggle. Timothy Dalton –

Every child’s first superhero is his father, and it was the same for me. For me, he was Superman and Batman combined. Tiger Shroff

Life hits you hard. But it takes you three seconds to decide if you are a superhero or not. I am. Hrithik Roshan –

WORD TO LIVE BY: Superheroes – something we all can be. Superpowers – something we all have.

When we were young, our mothers or fathers sometimes were our superheroes. We were amazed at what they did because we didn’t know much about the world. Years later after I’ve lost my father and mother, I still think that they are superheroes for different reasons – and because I now understand some of what they went through for me.

Superheroes- many of us have watched, enjoyed and identified with in some way. Superman seems to be the benchmark and the core superhero. The X-Men are often outcasts, adults and kids that are bullied, unique, and in many ways unable to ‘act like normal people’.

What does this have to do with us? How can this help us?

Most of us focus too much energy and time on our kryptonite, our weaknesses. We are often hard on ourselves. Sometimes it’s about guilt, shame, self-pity, excuses or fear.

Our gifts – our superpowers – often are overlooked or ignored. Like a superhero, we all have some superpowers. Maybe you’re good at math. Maybe you can tell a great story. Maybe you are patient, or you show empathy, or you can make the complex seem simple. Your humor?

Maybe you haven’t ‘activated’ all of your superpowers yet.

Some of us have overcome significant things; abuse, addiction, bullying, cancer, and other things that we all encounter in life. Some of us have been independent and we can lead others. Some of us are great at support.

Like a superhero, we can’t do everything. But you are good at some things – and probably really good at 3 things, at least.

If you want to get religious, Jesus even said, “they will do even greater things than these”.

Take a moment and think about your superpowers. Come on, since you were in elementary school, something always came easy for you. It was innate.

Every person that you come across can benefit from the superpowers that you have within you.

For me, I communicate – I enjoy writing things like this, personal notes, reaching out to people, etc. It has always been that way and I don’t think I could stop if I wanted. Many people like it, a few don’t. I can use it for work, or for business. I can use it for good.

What are your superpowers? How can you use them more? To help others? To enhance your career? Your relationships? Your health?

Start focusing more on your strengths and superpowers. Develop your existing superpowers more and see if you can develop new ones.

(What is your superhero pose that helps you be more confident before a meeting?)

Is it childish? I think not. Is it playful? Creative? Fun? Imaginative? Yes. We can benefit from a little more fun each day. Think of all the imagination and fun you experienced as a kid. A little of that now might help from time to time.

Each of us has a purpose, each of us has incredible things to accomplish and to contribute to the world.

Remember, with great power comes great responsibility. Uncle Ben in Spiderman”

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

BONUS:
Amy Cuddy’s “Wonder Woman pose” TED TALK

 

Frey Freyday – leader series-Bruce Lee

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

This ‘leader-series’ is a sub-set of Frey Freydays – celebrities, influencers, icons and other people that are well-known that, although not perfect, have led an inspirational life in some way or have made some contribution to society, etc. and people from which we can learn. In no order and certainly the list is un-ending.

-BRUCE LEE

If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.

I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.

Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless and add what is specifically your own.

To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.

Real living is living for others.

The more we value things, the less we value ourselves.

Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger or faster man. But sooner or later the man who wins, is the man who thinks he can.

If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.

Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.

Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow, or it can crash. Be water, my friend.

WORDS TO LIVE BY:

“Be like water….” – Be flexible, resilient, learn, adapt, be open-minded, do not concern yourself with labels.

July 2017 marked the 44th anniversary of Bruce Lee’s death. Bruce Lee lived a short but very impactful life. He is remembered today as the figure who popularized Kung Fu and Jeet Kune Do around the world.

Most people think of Bruce as just a movie star and/or someone ‘who did kung fu’. I found out that he was more than that….

As a young adult I learned about Bruce Lee from “karate movies”. One day I bought a book that he wrote. I was surprised to find that it was quite good and contained content about philosophy, life, and principles for living life. Bruce was a philosophy major in college and spent a lot of time thinking about this sort of thing.

Some people may know that the form of “Kung Fu” he developed, called Jeet Kune Do has been referred to as  “Using no way as way” and “Having no limitation as limitation”.

He was often asked if he formed a new form of martial arts.  Bruce said, “On the contrary, I hope to free my followers from clinging to styles, patterns, or molds.”

So in other words, Bruce learned many different types of karate, fighting, wrestling, grappling, even American-style boxing, etc. Bruce then tried to ‘combine’ and pick the best traits out of each of those for his style, to put it very simply. So his fighting style did not have the rigid, formal limitations and they were not bound by certain guidelines. His point: in one situation you may need traits of one style, another situation will require different traits.

Similarly, in life, Bruce formed a great philosophy with this in mind. He studied many philosophies and religions and learned from each of them. He tried to incorporate the best of each into his life without getting caught up in the limitations of each.

If you reference the quote above “Absorb what is useful, ….” It implies that one should study and learn, and use the best of each to make oneself better.

As he stated it, “The extraordinary part of it lies in its simplicity.” This applied to his fighting style and to his philosophy in life. Again in life or fighting, Bruce Lee emphasized that every situation is different. To obtain victory in life or in a fight it is essential not to be rigid, but to be fluid and able to adapt to any situation.

In reference to the famous quote above, “Be like water…”,  Bruce’s theory behind this was that one must be able to function in any scenario one is thrown into. As he said it, ‘One should know when to speed up or slow down, when to expand and when to contract, and when to remain flowing and when to crash. It is the awareness that both life and fighting can be shapeless and ever changing that allows one to be able to adapt to those changes instantaneously and bring forth the appropriate solution.’

Lee did not believe in “styles” and felt that every person and every situation is different and not everyone fits into a mold; one must remain flexible in order to obtain new knowledge and victory in both life and combat. One must never become stagnant in the mind or method, always evolving and moving towards improving oneself.( Little, John (1973). Bruce Lee: In His Own Words (DVD). Warner Brothers.)

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

Frey Freyday: Avoiding Pain

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Pain – a distressing feeling often caused by intense or damaging stimuli, or the perception of it

Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it. Kevyn Aucoin

To be a champion, I think you have to see the big picture. It’s not about winning and losing; it’s about every day hard work and about thriving on a challenge. It’s about embracing the pain that you’ll experience at the end of a race and not being afraid. I think people think too hard and get afraid of a certain challenge. Summer Sanders

Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave. Mary Tyler Moore

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Khalil Gibran

We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment. Jim Rohn

Change is never a matter of ability, it’s a matter of motivation. If change is a “should” will people change? No. Change has to be not a ‘should’ but a ‘must’. The way people are motivated, the reason that they do what they do is that this: the desire to avoid pain or the desire to gain pleasure. Tony Robbins

WORDS TO LIVE BY:

Pain – something we avoid, even though sometimes it helps us grow/makes us stronger/better/happier in the long run.

Pleasure – something we seek, something we sometimes get comfortable with, enough so that we don’t pursue our dreams, improve ourselves, or simply take that next step we’ve been pondering so long.

Here in American, in this time, many of us are very comfortable. Unlike poor areas, poor countries, or our ancestors decades and generations ago, even those of us with lower incomes have a comparatively nice life.

Most of us have homes, most of us have food, most of us have access to all of the basic needs of life. We have our phones, laptops, televisions; all portals to the world, entertainment and connection. We have games, books, hundreds of channels, millions of websites to distract us. It is easy to be comfortable, complacent and content. Not that there’s anything wrong with being happy with what you have or being content, accepting your current situation – often that is good – even necessary.

What I mean is that all of us, at one time or another, get comfortable with our lives because, let’s face it, our lives are often pretty good. We can experience pleasure in some ways with our lives as they are now. Yet to grow, to get better, to improve, to reach our goals and dreams, we have to go ‘do something’ and experience pain, in one way or another.

I’ve had it happen to me many, many times. I wanted to lose weight. I wanted to create, learn something, save, earn more, go after a new opportunity, pursue a dream, change a habit, yet I either don’t take the action, or I slip back into the ‘old way’, probably because the pain of the new experience is seemingly harder than the pleasure and safety of the ‘now’, of my current ‘easier’ situation.

92% of the 17 million people that try to quit smoking each year fail. 95% of people who lose weight each year fail to keep it off long term. It is said that only 10% of the population have specific, well-defined goals, but even then 7 out of ten will reach their goals only 50% of the time.

Why do we sometimes not take that ‘next step’? Why do we sometimes not follow through?

We avoid pain and seek the short term pleasures, in many cases.

As stated above, These are the two forces that motivate people to do what they do: the desire to gain pleasure or the desire to avoid pain.

If we want to change something, make it better, improve, pursue a dream, then we must associate Massive Pain to not changing now, and Massive Pleasure to changing immediately. It must be a “Must”. Not a should, not a question of ability, skill, or will power. Pain is a short-term motivation but we all need the pleasure side for long-term motivation. Use pain and pleasure to your advantage to grow and change.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

Frey Freyday – Top Ten Words

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Hello – I am breaking from the normal format and process for a moment. Sometimes we can benefit from reflection and a different perspective. Also, we all love those “Top Ten” lists that everyone seems to offer.

This is a list of the Top Ten Words to Live By, in my opinion. I think in different situations, one can argue a different order here but in general, my list:

 

  1. State of mind – No matter what, your state of mind is everything. Making decisions, taking actions, interacting with others, thinking by ourselves, happiness, life – our state of mind affects all things for better or worse. In the same moment, the state of mind can change everything.

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way, to choose one’s own state of mind.-Victor E. Frankl

  1. Decision – the decision to act, to think a certain way, to do or not do….making a decision can literally make an instant and huge impact. A decision can determine your destiny.

“What I’ve come to realize is that the single most important decision in life is this: Are you committed to being happy, no matter what happens to you?” asks Tony Robbins. “To put this another way, will you commit to enjoying life not only when everything goes your way but also when everything goes against you, when injustice happens, when someone screws you over, when you lose something or someone you love, or when nobody seems to understand or appreciation you?”

  1. Action – Talk is cheap. Theroad to hell is paved with good  One action starts change. Consistent action builds habits, persistence and a pipeline of success. Massive action produces massive results. I believe that action is everything. Dumb or smart. Evil or well-meaning. Good ideas are all fine and good but without action, they are nothing.

Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.-Bradley Whitford

Action is the foundational key to all success.-Pablo Picasso

 –

  1. Focus – In this world there is good stuff, empowering stuff, upsetting stuff, angry stuff – all sorts of stuff for us to focus on….and what we focus on often determines our state of mind, actions, decisions, etc.  ‘Where our focus goes, energy flows and things grow.’ You focus on negative stuff, it grows. You focus on happy or helpful things, likewise they will grow in your life. It isn’t saying the bad doesn’t exist, just focusing on the good makes life better.

Accidents, coincidences, and serendipities are the disguises I use to sneak magic and miracles into your life without arousing suspicion that the game is rigged, the dragons are fake, and you’re about to hit the biggest “home run” of your life. Just keep focusing on what you want and move ahead. Now, please don’t ruin this for anyone – The Universe http://www.tut.com

The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire not things we fear.-Brian Tracy

  1. Questions – Questions set our moods, our focus, our beliefs and our actions. We all ask ourselves questions each and every day, all day, whether we realize it or not. They say we have up to 60,000 thoughts running through our minds each day, and many of these are questions. Are they good questions? Are they useful? Do they empower us?

Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone’s face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions. I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come.-Henri Nouwen

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.-Voltaire

  1. Belief – Your beliefs are everything. Beliefs make up your personality, they create habits which lead to your lifestyle, your relationships, your career, etc. Beliefs can limit you or they can help you excel and grow. The meaning we assign to all sorts of things are related to beliefs.

Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. Belief creates the actual fact.-William James

It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.-Muhammad Ali

  1. Faith – Have faith in yourself, in your gifts, have faith in others, have faith in our World. Have faith with your spirituality or religion. Have faith that things will work out, that you have all that you need inside you right now. Have faith that amazing things can happen. Sometimes we just have to let go and have faith.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.-Martin Luther King, Jr.

You’ll see it when you believe it.-Wayne Dyer

  1. Happiness/Joy – One of the best lessons I learned on my own, even though my parents often told me, is to just be happy. Don’t wait for it, don’t look for it, and don’t expect that when you buy/accomplish/get something that you’ll be happy then. Be happy now and always. If you’re happy and experience joy, your decisions, actions, and life will reflect it. People are drawn to happy people. Challenges will come into our life regardless, but if we have joy and happiness, the challenges are a little easier to deal with and recover from.

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature. –Marcus Aurelius

Research has shown that the best way to be happy is to make each day happy.-Deepak Chopra

  1. Vocabulary – the words you consistently use to describe your life, emotions and sensations—immediately change how you think, feel and live. (if you want to change your life, Adjust your habitual vocabulary)


Language shapes our behavior and each word we use is imbued with multitudes of personal meaning. The right words spoken in the right way can bring us love, money and respect, while the wrong words—or even the right words spoken in the wrong way—can lead to a country to war. We must carefully orchestrate our speech if we want to achieve our goals and bring our dreams to fruition.—Dr. Andrew Newberg, Words Can Change Your Brain

  1. Kindness –We are here to experience life together. Part of life is contributing back, compassion, love and kindness. How can we work with/play with/be with others in this world if there isn’t kindness. The Golden Rule or law of reciprocity is the principle of treating others as one would wish to be treated oneself. Multiple religions discuss this and atheists also often embrace it. Kindness is necessary for any role in life, for any moment in life. Kindness is the expression of mature ‘agape’ love.

This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness. – Dalai Lama

..

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. – Lao Tzu

(BONUS- #11. WHY? Ask why you’re doing ‘it’, whatever ‘it’ is….. determine the why and the how will work out just fine….)

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

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