Category Archives: life stories

Frey Freyday – Agape Love

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Agape, the love of each one of us for the other, from the closest to the furthest, is in fact the only way that Jesus has given us to find the way of salvation and of the Beatitudes. Pope Francis

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Agape Love – a universal, unconditional love that transcends and persists regardless of circumstance. It goes beyond just the emotions to the extent of seeking the best for others.

A few years ago my oldest daughter went to be a mentor at a camp. She came back with some great experiences and lessons – some of which I benefited. While I heard the term before, my daughter was excited to tell us about and discuss ‘Agape love’.

She learned about how Agape love is different from romantic love, even slightly different from brotherly love. It is an altruistic form of love, “the highest form of love, charity”

Again, did I learn that before? Yes. Do I think about that or apply that to my life? Not nearly often enough.

At camp she mentored a younger person and helped her overcome some fears. Their goals and tasks at the camp were to help, support and show Agape love to their mentees. It was a great experience for them all. Consequently, when she helped the younger mentee with her fears, it helped my daughter work through some of her own fears.

In the media and world today, it is easy to get bombarded with many thoughts that are contrary to Agape love. We need more Agape love in this world. The first step is to be aware, then share it, then introduce it into daily life, use it and set an example.

Some examples include:

  • Chiaune Sugihara-the Japanese envoy to Germany during WW2, who helped thousands of Jews escape Nazi Germany.
  • The Ten Boom Family of “The Hiding Place” fame.
  • The gym teacher in the recent Florida school massacre, who shielded his students with his own body (and was killed for his trouble).
  • The male passenger in a jet/river crash in the 1990′s, who passed the rescue harness to 3 other victims
  • But it doesn’t have to be a big, dramatic act. Many people tirelessly give and love each and everyday in small incremental ways, which we all can do.
  • The below link for a TED talk goes deeper into this and other types of love.

 

Today is Valentine’s Day – mostly associated with romantic love – which is important and also much needed. But I think the world can benefit from a reminder about Agape Love.

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

BONUS  :   TED TALK

the seven types of love?
philia (deep friendship)
ludus (playful love)
agape (selfless love)
eros (physical love)
storge (familial love)
pragma (long-standing love)
philautia (love of oneself)

https://www.ted.com/tedx/events/11217

Frey Freyday – Label

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Label [ˈlābəl] –VERB –labeling (present participle) assign to a category, especially inaccurately or restrictively.

Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you. –Thomas Jefferson

Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition or label of your life; define yourself. –Harvey Fierstein

Once you label me you negate me. –Soren Kierkegaard

If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome. –Michael Jordan

I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine. –Bruce Lee

Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. –Leo Buscaglia

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. –Abraham Maslow

Winners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations in advance of the event. –Brian Tracy

Expectations are a form of first-class truth: If people believe it, it’s true.-Bill Gates

You can’t base your life on other people’s expectations. –Stevie Wonder

If you were to look up your name in the dictionary, how would you be defined? Would three words just about cover it, or would your epic narrative consume page after page—or even demand a volume of its own? – Tony Robbins

I think any label is bad. I’m more than a label. – Unknown

  –

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Labels – something we assign to a person, situation, experience or event. Typically we assign the meaning to these things and depending on our perspective, the label can vary greatly.

As we approach a new year, we often reflect on days and years gone by, and those ahead of us. We all tend to label some days or years as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. We label simple and complex events each and every day as good or bad.

Yet, did you ever label something as ‘bad’ and with time and perspective, you look back and it wasn’t that bad. In fact, sometimes aren’t those events actually good for our lives? There is a Zen story about this, I shared it below in the bonus section. Perspective and timing do change the meaning. We assign the meaning. We can often benefit from not labeling…..

We label people in our lives, even those we don’t really know. How many times have we labeled someone one way and only to find out that they do not fall under that label?

When we place expectations on others or in a relationship, in essence we are putting a label on the person, relationship, or situation. This is inaccurate and limits the person, situation or relationship.

We label ourselves, consciously and unconsciously. Typically I find that we are all hard on ourselves, too hard. Our self-talk is critical and we need to reinforce the good, learn from mistakes and failures and keep an open mind about people, events, and situations before we simply label them as good or bad.

When we put labels on things, you’ve got twoness. You’ve got the label, and you’ve got what you’re labeling. And there is only oneness in the universe, even though we artificially believe in twoness. Our ego likes the feeling of control with a label, it likes the feeling that we know what we’re doing. Really there is no control.

Ideas:

  • When something happens, don’t label it good or bad. It is just an event. Be in the moment, observe, be self-aware, learn from it and move on
  • When you catch yourself labeling something or someone, don’t judge yourself either. Just stop, realize it, and move on
  • Spend a day without the label of “parent” or “boss” and put yourself into an open, observant, self-aware state of mind.

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

BONUS  :   THE ZEN STORY – GOOD LUCK? BAD LUCK? WHO KNOWS! 

An elderly, hard-working Chinese farmer and his son, had a single horse. They used the horse to plow the field, to sow the seeds, grow the crop, and transport it to the market. The horse was essential for the farmer to earn his livelihood.

One morning, the horse broke the fence and ran away into the woods. When the neighbors found out that the only horse the farmer had, had run away, they came to solace him. They said – “Your only horse has run away just before the planting season. How will you till the land? How will you sow the seeds? This is unfortunate. This is bad luck.”

The farmer replied – “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”

A few days later the farmer’s horse returned from the woods along with two other wild horses. When the neighbors found out the news, they said – ” Now you have three horses! You can till the land much faster with three horses. Maybe you can buy more land and sow more crop and make more money. Or you can sell the other two horses. Either way, you will be a rich man! This is good luck! “

The wise farmer replied – “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”

Next morning, the farmer’s son started training the wild horses to that they would help till the land. While attempting to mount one of the wild horses, he fell down and broke his leg. Just before the sowing season, the son would not be able to help the farmer with his broken leg. The neighbors came once again and commented – ” This is really unfortunate. This is bad luck.

The wise farmer repeated – “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”

A few days later, the king’s men started to visit each village in the kingdom. A war had started between their kingdom and a neighboring enemy state. The king’s men were enlisting the eldest son from each family to join the army so that they could defeat the enemy state. When they came to the farmer’s house they saw the son with the broken leg. He would not be of much use in the army and hence they didn’t take him. He was the only eldest son in the entire village who was not forcibly taken by the king’s men to fight the war. The neighbors, some of them with teary eyes, came once again to the farmer and commented – “Your son breaking his leg was really fortunate. He is the only one who was not taken. What a stroke of good luck.

The farmer calmly replied – “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”

Every single time the neighbors thought that what had happened to the farmer was bad luck, it turned out to be good luck! And just when the neighbor’s thought that the incidents had brought the farmer good luck, it turned out to be bad luck! 

Frey Freyday – Rejection

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

rejection -[rəˈjekSH(ə)n] –NOUN the dismissing or refusing of a proposal, idea,

We all learn lessons in life. Some stick, some don’t. I have always learned more from rejection and failure than from acceptance and success. Henry Rollins

The biggest hurdle is rejection. Any business you start, be ready for it. The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is the successful people do all the things the unsuccessful people don’t want to do. When 10 doors are slammed in your face, go to door number 11 enthusiastically, with a smile on your face. John Paul DeJoria

I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat. Sylvester Stallone

Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don’t base your self-esteem on their opinions. Harvey Mackay

 WORD TO LIVE BY:
Rejection – a necessary thing that we all go through, it’s how you frame it that matters.

Some of us may think rejection is this thing that happens all the time, so what happens is that so many people guide their life based on this fear that they’re going to be rejected, so they don’t take action and don’t start new things or chase their dreams because they’re worried about what other people are going to think. It may be love, sports, business, education, whatever….

They’re going to be rejected and deemed unworthy, unlovable or not adequate in some way or another and you think, that’s so sad, because rejection, the actual form of rejection that shapes people’s identity and hurts them, happens so rarely. If you don’t believe it then that’s an internal fear, not the reality of the universe.

According to Brendon Burchard, there is some real, basic data. Brendon has traveled around the globe, well over most of the globe now, and here’s what he found out over and over again.

He always do this little simple activity where he says, ‘if you’ve ever been rejected in a way where it hurt, it actually hurt and formed and shaped your identity in a way, it was a significant hurt that you felt and it changed how you felt about yourself and what you might want to accomplish in the world. If you’ve ever felt that before would you raise your hand?’ Everyone raises their hand.

Then Brendon says, ‘if you’ve ever been rejected by, let’s say, three people, who really rejected you in that way that you were shot down, hurt and it changed who you are and what you wanted to accomplish in life. How many times has that ever happened with three people?’.. A bunch of people raise their hands again and he starts escalating that number from three, to five to seven, to ten, fifteen, twenty. and thirty.

Here’s what’s amazing. Brendon states that he has done this all over the world with audiences with thousands of people in them and here’s the average across all those audiences, all around the world, it doesn’t matter the culture. The average number is about seven.

So anywhere between five and seven, meaning, people say between five and seven people hurt their feelings enough with a real rejection, not one of those, “Well I’m sorry I can’t go out with you I’m washing my hair” stuff. I mean someone who really criticized you and rejected you in a way that it hurt. The average person says five to seven people rejected them like that.

There are some people who have more than that. I’m saying the average is five to seven and yet so many people when this is asked, how many of you are so scared of rejection that almost everyone raises their hand.

It’s like wait a second, we’re scared of something that barely ever happens?

 

If you think about it, we get rejected all the time – from when we were a baby. Rejection is a necessary way of learning, improving, making our approach better. Too often we get scared of the simple idea that we may get rejected and overlook the benefits of the experience, what we’ll learn from the rejection, the efforts, the new relationships, the new steps we’re taking, etc. – and we often lose sight that we may not get rejected at all and we may succeed. It is worth the risk.

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

BONUS  :

TED Talks to help you shake off rejection

Everyone faces rejection, sometimes on repeat. These speakers experienced a barrage of ‘no’s, but were able to push past the disappointment and keep on going. May their resilience inspire you.

https://www.ted.com/playlists/234/talks_to_help_you_shake_off_re

Frey Freyday – leader series-Bruce Lee

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

This ‘leader-series’ is a sub-set of Frey Freydays – celebrities, influencers, icons and other people that are well-known that, although not perfect, have led an inspirational life in some way or have made some contribution to society, etc. and people from which we can learn. In no order and certainly the list is un-ending.

-BRUCE LEE

If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.

I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.

Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless and add what is specifically your own.

To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.

Real living is living for others.

The more we value things, the less we value ourselves.

Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger or faster man. But sooner or later the man who wins, is the man who thinks he can.

If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.

Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.

Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow, or it can crash. Be water, my friend.

WORDS TO LIVE BY:

“Be like water….” – Be flexible, resilient, learn, adapt, be open-minded, do not concern yourself with labels.

July 2017 marked the 44th anniversary of Bruce Lee’s death. Bruce Lee lived a short but very impactful life. He is remembered today as the figure who popularized Kung Fu and Jeet Kune Do around the world.

Most people think of Bruce as just a movie star and/or someone ‘who did kung fu’. I found out that he was more than that….

As a young adult I learned about Bruce Lee from “karate movies”. One day I bought a book that he wrote. I was surprised to find that it was quite good and contained content about philosophy, life, and principles for living life. Bruce was a philosophy major in college and spent a lot of time thinking about this sort of thing.

Some people may know that the form of “Kung Fu” he developed, called Jeet Kune Do has been referred to as  “Using no way as way” and “Having no limitation as limitation”.

He was often asked if he formed a new form of martial arts.  Bruce said, “On the contrary, I hope to free my followers from clinging to styles, patterns, or molds.”

So in other words, Bruce learned many different types of karate, fighting, wrestling, grappling, even American-style boxing, etc. Bruce then tried to ‘combine’ and pick the best traits out of each of those for his style, to put it very simply. So his fighting style did not have the rigid, formal limitations and they were not bound by certain guidelines. His point: in one situation you may need traits of one style, another situation will require different traits.

Similarly, in life, Bruce formed a great philosophy with this in mind. He studied many philosophies and religions and learned from each of them. He tried to incorporate the best of each into his life without getting caught up in the limitations of each.

If you reference the quote above “Absorb what is useful, ….” It implies that one should study and learn, and use the best of each to make oneself better.

As he stated it, “The extraordinary part of it lies in its simplicity.” This applied to his fighting style and to his philosophy in life. Again in life or fighting, Bruce Lee emphasized that every situation is different. To obtain victory in life or in a fight it is essential not to be rigid, but to be fluid and able to adapt to any situation.

In reference to the famous quote above, “Be like water…”,  Bruce’s theory behind this was that one must be able to function in any scenario one is thrown into. As he said it, ‘One should know when to speed up or slow down, when to expand and when to contract, and when to remain flowing and when to crash. It is the awareness that both life and fighting can be shapeless and ever changing that allows one to be able to adapt to those changes instantaneously and bring forth the appropriate solution.’

Lee did not believe in “styles” and felt that every person and every situation is different and not everyone fits into a mold; one must remain flexible in order to obtain new knowledge and victory in both life and combat. One must never become stagnant in the mind or method, always evolving and moving towards improving oneself.( Little, John (1973). Bruce Lee: In His Own Words (DVD). Warner Brothers.)

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

Frey Freyday – Risk

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

RISK – exposure to the chance of injury or loss;

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. T. S. Eliot

The biggest risk is not taking any risk… In a world that changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks. Mark Zuckerberg

The risk of a wrong decision is preferable to the terror of indecision. Maimonides

If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary. Jim Rohn

There are 30,000 days in your life. When I was 24, I realized I’m almost 9,000 days down. There are no warm-ups, no practice rounds, no reset buttons. Your biggest risk isn’t failing, it’s getting too comfortable. Every day, we’re writing a few more words of a story. I wanted my story to be an adventure and that’s made all the difference. Drew Houston

We must have courage to bet on our ideas, to take the calculated risk, and to act. Everyday living requires courage if life is to be effective and bring happiness. Maxwell Maltz

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Risk – we all face risks each day, some perceived, some not.

Each day many of us risk our lives hurtling ourselves and our loved ones in a potentially deadly situation, where only a thin line of paint separates us from strangers who could cause us death or severe bodily injury. We face this every day and almost never think about it, and we casually, confidently overcome it. Yes, this is driving on the road.

Think about it, we’ll trust hundreds or thousands of total strangers with our lives – we trust that they will obey the rules and lines of the road and not run into us. Yet, many times we don’t trust loved ones in our lives – or we don’t trust ourselves to take a risk.

Risk is about how you frame it, how you perceive it.

Risk started the day you took your first breath out of the womb. Risk brings both failure and success, and certainly brings education and experience.

To change, to grow, we must take risks.

Noah St. John, author and owner of http://noahstjohn.com/writes:

Here are 3 main benefits of risk-taking:

  1. You face your fear.

And once you face that fear, that fear can’t run your life any more.

  1. You become stronger.

Once you realize that you are stronger than your fear, you often discover that you’re stronger than you thought you were.

  1. Your life changes in ways you couldn’t have predicted or imagined.

(More on this in the Bonus link below)

 

Let’s not get confused with a careless or reckless risk – in this case we’re talking about calculated and thoughtful risks.

What are we waiting for anyhow? This is not a rehearsal, this is the final performance. Go for it.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

BONUS  

The Benefits of Taking Risks

https://onewebstrategy.wordpress.com/2015/12/17/the-benefits-of-taking-risks/

Frey Freyday – Metaphor

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Metaphor-noun  met·a·phor \ˈme-tə-ˌfȯr also -fər\ –  a figure of speech in which a word or phrase literally denoting one kind of object or idea is used in place of another to suggest a likeness or analogy between them

My goal is to create a metaphor that changes our reality by charming people into considering their world in a different way. Chuck Palahniuk

Sometimes I think that creativity is a matter of seeing, or stumbling over, unobvious similarities between things – like composing a fresh metaphor, but on a more complex scale. David Mitchell

What draws me in is that a trip is a leap in the dark. It’s like a metaphor for life. You set off from home, and in the classic travel book, you go to an unknown place. You discover a different world, and you discover yourself. Paul Theroux

What you look for in a picture is a metaphor, something that means something more, that makes you think about things you’ve seen or thought about. Mary Ellen Mark

Metaphors allow you to make the complex simple and the controversial palatable. Conversely, metaphors allow you to create extraordinary meaning out of the seemingly mundane.  Brian Clark

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Metaphor – Metaphors are powerful figures of speech that can influence and persuade, for good or bad. They can influence our behavior and beliefs. They can change how we look at our lives.

Metaphors are often said to help explain complex topics.

Metaphors create vivid images in your head. Metaphors make it easier to understand and remember your focus, goal, values, priorities, etc.

Just like a story, a metaphor engages your brain – the right brain. Metaphors can by-pass rationality and lower defenses to concepts, ideas, beliefs. Metaphors can make you more persuasive, to yourself and others.

So – in life we all use metaphors whether we realize it or not. Did you ever hear “I’m at the end of my rope.” Or “I’m carrying the world on my shoulders.”? We’ve all said something like these perhaps, but they aren’t empowering.

Or maybe “Life is a battle”, “Business is war” – people who use these metaphors may have a different experience than people who say, “Life is a beach” or “Business is a game”. How do you refer to the world – “The masses are asses” or that humanity is “One big family”?

Behind metaphors are beliefs. When you choose a metaphor to describe your life or circumstances, you are choosing the beliefs that it supports.

So if you’re “Feeling fenced in”, then go open the gate and get moving. If you “Can’t see the answer”, then put on some glasses – or a VR visor? – and find the answer that will make things better. If you’re “swimming in a sea of problems”, just reach down and pull out the drain, so you can walk ahead.

Think about what you say; “Life is ___”, “I feel like ____”,   Is it a test, struggle, game, battle? Is it a mystery, dance, garden full of wildflowers?

Do you see what I mean? Change your metaphors. Be aware of them. Ask yourself if they’re empowering. Do the metaphors that you use help you or hold you back?

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

 

BONUS

http://www.ted.com/talks/james_geary_metaphorically_speaking

Aphorism enthusiast and author James Geary waxes on a fascinating fixture of human language: the metaphor. Friend of scribes from Aristotle to Elvis, metaphor can subtly influence the decisions we make, Geary says.

Frey Freyday – Stop

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Stop-[stäp]-VERB-(of an event, action, or process) come to an end; cease to happen:

We are so unforgiving of ourselves. We don’t recognize our own beauty because we’re too busy comparing ourselves to other people. Wayne Dyer

Stop Comparing Yourself With Others – don’t compare yourself to others. There will always be someone better or worse. Run your own race. Do better than you did last time. You are unique. Do your thing. Comparing leads to envy, feelings of inadequacy, etc. If you’re grateful for what you have, and if you focus on what works and where you want to go/improve, then others won’t matter anyhow.

We can each define ambition and progress for ourselves. The goal is to work toward a world where expectations are not set by the stereotypes that hold us back, but by our personal passion, talents and interests. Sheryl Sandberg

Stop Being Trapped By Peoples’ Judgements, Expectations, and Assumptions Of You- It used to really bother me when people made a judgement or assumption about me, even if it was correct, but typically it was incorrect. “You don’t know me”, I thought. Even well-meaning and loving friends, relatives, colleagues place expectations upon us. We can easily ‘feel’ the expectations that society puts on us. There are all sorts of expectations about education; that you should obtain a degree, secure a good job, find a soulmate in your twenties, and then get married and raise a happy family. But it does not need to happen that way. Make up your own map, your own route. We are expected to maintain a lot of good friends, be good citizens, have a nice home, dress a certain way. Some people think that we should manage our emotions and keep our vulnerable side hidden. All these expectations can weigh heavily upon us. Again, block out the outside voices, be calm, get connected and listen to the ‘real you’, your inner voice. If you need to, pray, meditate, take a walk. Separate your desires from those imposed upon you by external forces. Take time to know yourself and shape a life that suits you rather than following the expectations of the crowd. Stop caring what others think. They don’t really know the real you anyhow. Also, others may be fearful and even though they love and care for you, their fears may cloud what they say or do for you.

To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him. Buddha

Stop Sacrificing Your Happiness For Someone Else- Sure, there are times in the short-term where you may have to do something, or not do something, in order to help a loved-one out, to get them through something. Any caring person may want to do that. But sometimes we may feel like we have to put our dreams on hold to cater to someone else’s desires or lifestyle preferences. Perhaps you move in order to support your mate’s career, or maybe you have taken on a less desirable job so you can spend more time caring for someone. Ask anyone who has done it for a period of time; sacrificing one’s own happiness may feel noble but in the long run it seldom works well. Self-sacrifice leads to bitterness and resentment, whereas chasing one’s dreams often results in contentment and fulfilment. Try to strike a compromise between supporting others and leading the kind of life you want. Remember, too, that there is no way to happiness, but you need to be happy along the way no matter where you are.

If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of. Bruce Lee

Stop Wasting Time On Meaningless Stuff- Time is the most precious commodity of all. You can always make more friends and earn more money, but time spent is time you will never see again. Some hobbies and pastimes are good, even healthy to a degree. It’s Ok to have a ‘guilty pleasure’ once in a while with an activity, TV show or good book. However, stop wasting time on frivolous pursuits and learn how to focus. It’s OK and important to relax and unwind once in a while, but if you want to lead your ideal life then you need to clarify your aims and devote the majority of your time to making sure they are realized.

Successful people, regardless of career or income, maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them. Jack Canfield

Stop Focusing On The Negative –In any garden there are healthy, good plants and vegetables, and there are weeds. I don’t recommend ignoring the weeds, but are you focusing on just the weeds? Everyday we all face a mixture of we interpret as good, bad, and annoying things, perhaps. Remember that your experience of life will largely depend upon the perspective you choose to take. If you focus on the negatives in every situation, you are training yourself to view the world through a negative lens. Try to find the positive in every situation and life will feel much more bearable. Focus on what is working in your life. Focus on successful references in your past to build confidence. Focus on what you want from life and where you want to go. If you spend time with other positive people, this can help you develop this habit. We are the ‘average of the 5 people we spend time with’.

It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. Confucius

Stop Waiting To Get What You Want – It’s Ok to want things and to have goals. It’s Ok to want things to be better. However, waiting is not the answer. Life is too short. We must take action. Ask yourself what you have done lately to make progress towards your goals. What can you do today, even the smallest thing, to work towards a goal? Ultimately the initiative and energy must come from you. Make 2017 the year you stop waiting and start taking actions.

You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Henry David Thoreau

Stop And Smell the Roses – Again, life is too short. Be in the moment. Enjoy the world around you each day. Your best memories exist because you were present in that moment. You are creating new memories now – unless you’re not in the moment. Tell your loved ones how you feel. Take time to communicate and connect, that’s why we’re here. Enjoy life.

You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action. Tony Robbins

Don’t Stop Taking Action.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

 

%d bloggers like this: