So did you ever have one of those situations when you thought things were bad and then they kept getting worse? I had a year (2009) when I was unemployed (after the banking crisis) and had a tough time finding a new job. My wife’s dear grandmother passed, then my dad passed away a few months later. That hurt big time. We took care of my mom, got her surgery, then found out she had cancer. She passed away just 5 weeks after my dad. That was tough. My wife’s uncle and other grandmother passed away later that year. The job situation wasn’t great.
I didn’t understand or fathom how things could get that bad. I felt like I couldn’t heal. But I did. I was able to land a nice job later, made connections with friends and new people. I connected myself to other good people out there. I find that almost everyone out there wants to help and work with a nice person.
Another time had to do with a situation I mentioned in other blogs. I was working for a small employer and it just wasn’t working on so many levels. I had to move on. I was told by many that my resume looked bad because I didn’t stay at each job long enough. A few employers told me I was skipped over because I had too much experience and they wanted to hire someone ‘cheaper’. Of course other positions required more experience. Then, I found a job that really wanted me and I wanted them but my credit report lost the job for me. It was my responsibility – I had an investment property that went south and I let some payments go late and was late on others until I finally sold it. But this stuff was still on the credit report and kept me from getting hired at several jobs.I needed to make a certain level of income so any old job would not do. I was ready and willing to do basically anything.
So I was concerned that my employer would fire me, cut my income, and plus I was unhappy. I was concerned ‘what if I lost my job tomorrow’. I had no reserves.
As I stated in earlier blogs, I was a nervous wreck. I’m not a nervous person. Some days I woke up and wanted to throw up. I wanted to give up. But like you, I didn’t.
I focused on better things. I focused on good things I had – basically being grateful for them. I focused on what worked rather than what didn’t work. I focused on my opportunities and other possible opportunities. I focused on other unlikely possibilities which helped me open my mind and brainstorm. I focused on taking action and sending resumes, connecting with others, etc. I focused on the great circle of friends and family I had and the great wife and two daughters.
I focused on answering the question; “how can things get any better?”. I had a list of Tony Robbins’ ‘Power Questions’ that helped me get started in the morning and adjust when I was in a bad state of mind.
More than anything, I think focusing on what I wanted helped. Many of us focus on what we don’t want. We say “I don’t like this situation/this action/this person.”
Guess what, we still focus on it. Instead we need to say “I want and invite this situation/person/action/outcome.” Then we work to make a plan and take action. We’ve all heard how our brains work on that which we focus- so give your brain the good stuff. Focus on what you want. (My advice is keep it more general and open so you keep open the possibilities. In other words if you say I want this specific job at $xx,0000 in this city – maybe its too specific? What if there is something so much better out there – and there is. Maybe ask “I want a job where I am happy, fulfilled, and I make a fabulous income well over $xx,000” – then think from the end and pretend it has already happened!)
Things got better. Even when there were hiccups, I didn’t feel the negativity as much if at all because I was looking at the good stuff. I improved my health, my marriage improved, I stabilized my income, I was happier. I found a role/job for me that I really enjoyed, I was contributing (important to me) and I was fulfilled. I was able to make a nice income.
Again, I saw a Mike Dooley posting from tut.com and I again wanted to share it – it relates to the above. Here’s to focusing on fun, happiness, abundance, love and good health.
From a Mike Dooley posting from tut.com
I have to admit, when we thought of adding the dimension of “time” to space, it was not wildly popular.
True, it would make possible evolution, reunions, and cute before-and-after photos. But it would add to the illusion of separation… “horror of horrors!” Spontaneous manifestations would spontaneously cease… “eee-gad!” And the only way anyone could get anything done, would be if they held onto and moved with their vision in thought, word, and deed, even when present circumstances appeared ABSOLUTELY unchanged for their efforts… yeah, “SIGN ME UP!!!!”
Thinking of you beaming with childlike joy -The Universe.