Category Archives: inspiration

Frey Freyday – Top Ten Words

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Hello – I am breaking from the normal format and process for a moment. Sometimes we can benefit from reflection and a different perspective. Also, we all love those “Top Ten” lists that everyone seems to offer.

This is a list of the Top Ten Words to Live By, in my opinion. I think in different situations, one can argue a different order here but in general, my list:

 

  1. State of mind – No matter what, your state of mind is everything. Making decisions, taking actions, interacting with others, thinking by ourselves, happiness, life – our state of mind affects all things for better or worse. In the same moment, the state of mind can change everything.

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way, to choose one’s own state of mind.-Victor E. Frankl

  1. Decision – the decision to act, to think a certain way, to do or not do….making a decision can literally make an instant and huge impact. A decision can determine your destiny.

“What I’ve come to realize is that the single most important decision in life is this: Are you committed to being happy, no matter what happens to you?” asks Tony Robbins. “To put this another way, will you commit to enjoying life not only when everything goes your way but also when everything goes against you, when injustice happens, when someone screws you over, when you lose something or someone you love, or when nobody seems to understand or appreciation you?”

  1. Action – Talk is cheap. Theroad to hell is paved with good  One action starts change. Consistent action builds habits, persistence and a pipeline of success. Massive action produces massive results. I believe that action is everything. Dumb or smart. Evil or well-meaning. Good ideas are all fine and good but without action, they are nothing.

Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.-Bradley Whitford

Action is the foundational key to all success.-Pablo Picasso

 –

  1. Focus – In this world there is good stuff, empowering stuff, upsetting stuff, angry stuff – all sorts of stuff for us to focus on….and what we focus on often determines our state of mind, actions, decisions, etc.  ‘Where our focus goes, energy flows and things grow.’ You focus on negative stuff, it grows. You focus on happy or helpful things, likewise they will grow in your life. It isn’t saying the bad doesn’t exist, just focusing on the good makes life better.

Accidents, coincidences, and serendipities are the disguises I use to sneak magic and miracles into your life without arousing suspicion that the game is rigged, the dragons are fake, and you’re about to hit the biggest “home run” of your life. Just keep focusing on what you want and move ahead. Now, please don’t ruin this for anyone – The Universe http://www.tut.com

The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire not things we fear.-Brian Tracy

  1. Questions – Questions set our moods, our focus, our beliefs and our actions. We all ask ourselves questions each and every day, all day, whether we realize it or not. They say we have up to 60,000 thoughts running through our minds each day, and many of these are questions. Are they good questions? Are they useful? Do they empower us?

Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone’s face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions. I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come.-Henri Nouwen

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.-Voltaire

  1. Belief – Your beliefs are everything. Beliefs make up your personality, they create habits which lead to your lifestyle, your relationships, your career, etc. Beliefs can limit you or they can help you excel and grow. The meaning we assign to all sorts of things are related to beliefs.

Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. Belief creates the actual fact.-William James

It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.-Muhammad Ali

  1. Faith – Have faith in yourself, in your gifts, have faith in others, have faith in our World. Have faith with your spirituality or religion. Have faith that things will work out, that you have all that you need inside you right now. Have faith that amazing things can happen. Sometimes we just have to let go and have faith.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.-Martin Luther King, Jr.

You’ll see it when you believe it.-Wayne Dyer

  1. Happiness/Joy – One of the best lessons I learned on my own, even though my parents often told me, is to just be happy. Don’t wait for it, don’t look for it, and don’t expect that when you buy/accomplish/get something that you’ll be happy then. Be happy now and always. If you’re happy and experience joy, your decisions, actions, and life will reflect it. People are drawn to happy people. Challenges will come into our life regardless, but if we have joy and happiness, the challenges are a little easier to deal with and recover from.

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature. –Marcus Aurelius

Research has shown that the best way to be happy is to make each day happy.-Deepak Chopra

  1. Vocabulary – the words you consistently use to describe your life, emotions and sensations—immediately change how you think, feel and live. (if you want to change your life, Adjust your habitual vocabulary)


Language shapes our behavior and each word we use is imbued with multitudes of personal meaning. The right words spoken in the right way can bring us love, money and respect, while the wrong words—or even the right words spoken in the wrong way—can lead to a country to war. We must carefully orchestrate our speech if we want to achieve our goals and bring our dreams to fruition.—Dr. Andrew Newberg, Words Can Change Your Brain

  1. Kindness –We are here to experience life together. Part of life is contributing back, compassion, love and kindness. How can we work with/play with/be with others in this world if there isn’t kindness. The Golden Rule or law of reciprocity is the principle of treating others as one would wish to be treated oneself. Multiple religions discuss this and atheists also often embrace it. Kindness is necessary for any role in life, for any moment in life. Kindness is the expression of mature ‘agape’ love.

This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness. – Dalai Lama

..

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. – Lao Tzu

(BONUS- #11. WHY? Ask why you’re doing ‘it’, whatever ‘it’ is….. determine the why and the how will work out just fine….)

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

Frey Freyday – Confirmation Bias

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

 Confirmation bias – a tendency to search for or interpret information in a way that confirms one’s preconceptions, leading to statistical errors.

As people’s opportunities to succumb to confirmation bias increases online – only seeking out information that confirms their prejudices – ignorance, extremism and close-mindedness have continued to rise unabated. Maajid Nawaz

Being deeply knowledgeable on one subject narrows one’s focus and increases confidence, but it also blurs dissenting views until they are no longer visible, thereby transforming data collection into bias confirmation and morphing self-deception into self-assurance. Michael Shermer

WORD TO LIVE BY:
Confirmation Bias –
put simply; it is a type of cognitive bias that involves favoring information that confirms previously existing beliefs or biases.

Confirmation bias is a type of cognitive bias and represents an error of inductive inference toward confirmation of the hypothesis under study.

Confirmation bias is a phenomenon wherein decision makers have been shown to actively seek out and assign more weight to evidence that confirms their hypothesis, and ignore or underweigh evidence that could disconfirm their hypothesis.

For example, if you think that left-handed people are more creative than right-handed people, then whenever you meet someone that is both left-handed and creative, you typically will place greater importance on this “evidence” supporting the existing belief. You might even seek “proof” that further backs up this belief while discounting examples that do not support this idea.

We all do it. Liberals and conservatives. Republicans and Democrats. Rich and Poor.

Confirmation bias can also be found in those of us who may be more fearful or anxious, and/or those of us that view the world as threatening, dangerous or similar.

If you ever experienced feelings of low self-esteem, or know someone who is feeling inferior, confirmation bias manifests itself in a way that makes you or the individual highly sensitive to being ignored by other people. We’ve all observed it in ourselves and others, we’re constantly monitoring for signs that people might not like us. We’ve all done it in some way, if we are worried that someone is annoyed with us, we are then biased toward all the negative information about that person acts toward us. We may even interpret neutral behavior as indicative of something really negative.

Also in a related way, these are two other things we need to be aware of and avoid:

Recency bias is the belief that current trends, good or bad, will continue. Tony Robbins and various clinical psychologists says the solution is to create a checklist of all the steps you’re taking towards your goal and refer to it frequently. That will help you stay on track, whatever current conditions may be.

Loss aversion is the tendency to recall negative experiences more readily than positive ones and to let those darker memories shape your expectations for the future. This can be overcome by actively planning in advance for challenges and setbacks. These bumps in the road are inevitable and don’t need to be feared. (Source http://www.cnbc.com/2017/03/21/tony-robbins-to-be-truly-successful-avoid-these-3-mental-traps.html)

 

What can we do about it? The answer lies in first recognizing that we have this bias and then in desiring to overcome it. Not easy. If you are willing to try, then here are a few pointers:

  • If you regularly read blogs for news and opinions, add one or two that comes from a different perspective. Not a radically different one (as that will likely make you even more staunch in your position), but one that offers views you might normally dismiss or not consider.
  • Reflect. Most of the political issues that are most controversial have no easy, black-and-white answer. Ask yourself why someone would hold an opinion adverse to your own. Why would some people dedicate their lives and careers to trying to something other than your viewpoint?
  • Spend time with people whose views you disagree, but whose company you don’t mind. Mere exposure to someone whose views differ from your own can help both of you understand the other’s position, even if your fundamental views don’t change.
  • Try to think from their perspective, try to understand.

(Source; https://lawblog.justia.com/2011/07/29/overcoming-confirmation-bias/_

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

Frey Freyday – Guilt

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Guilt-[gilt] -the fact or state of having committed an offense, crime, violation, or wrong, especially against moral or penal law; culpability:

People tend to dwell more on negative things than on good things. So the mind then becomes obsessed with negative things, with judgments, guilt and anxiety produced by thoughts about the future and so on. Eckhart Tolle

 With integrity, you have nothing to fear, since you have nothing to hide. With integrity, you will do the right thing, so you will have no guilt. Zig Ziglar

Guilt is cancer. Guilt will confine you, torture you, destroy you as an artist. It’s a black wall. It’s a thief. Dave Grohl

 No work or love will flourish out of guilt, fear, or hollowness of heart, just as no valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now. Alan Watts

We all feel the urge to condemn ourselves out of guilt, to blame others for our misfortunes and to fantasize about total disaster. Deepak Chopra

Guilt: punishing yourself before God doesn’t. Alan Cohen

Throughout life, the two most futile emotions are guilt for what has been done and worry about what might be done. Guilt; You can sit there forever, lamenting about how bad you’ve been, feeling guilty until you die, and not one tiny slice of that guilt will do anything to change a single thing in the past. Forgive yourself, then MOVE ON! Wayne Dyer

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Guilt – Like worry, it isn’t much use at all. Guilt is looking in the past. Guilt is about making ourselves feel bad to no avail.

What good does guilt do? Others scold us, tell us how we should feel. Often others are being critical or judgmental of our choices – or maybe we’re being critical or judgmental of others and causing guilt upon others. What does that solve? How is guilt useful?

Really, guilt is much like just an insult. We can make ourselves feel guilty or others can feel guilt by something we do or say, and we feel bad about it, like an insult. There is no lesson, no connection, no improvement.

Like worry, we’re churning up ill feelings inside about things we can no longer change.

Some of us use guilt as an excuse to love, to live, to take a chance or to grow.

Like an insult, or like feeling bad, no one can make you feel guilty without your permission.

With guilt, you can’t fully be present, you can’t fully love and live.

The next time you feel guilty for something, ask ‘Is this useful? Is it helpful? Does it make me feel good? Does it improve the situation?”

Release, let go of guilt: If you release guilt, much like forgiving yourself, you will remove a huge weight from your shoulders. Guilt is released through the empowering thought of love and respect for yourself. Forget about and let go of standards of perfection. Forget about your expectations and the expectations of others. Refuse to use up the precious currency of your life, the present moment, with thoughts that continue to berate, frustrate and weaken you.

Instead, learn from the moment, release it, and simply work to be better than you used to be, live in the present, all of which is the true test of nobility.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

BONUS  

TED TALK: We’ll go to the doctor when we feel flu-ish or a nagging pain. So why don’t we see a health professional when we feel emotional pain: guilt, loss, loneliness? Too many of us deal with common psychological-health issues on our own, says Guy Winch. But we don’t have to. He makes a compelling case to practice emotional hygiene — taking care of our emotions, our minds, with the same diligence we take care of our bodies.

https://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_the_case_for_emotional_hygiene

Frey Freyday – Metaphor

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Metaphor-noun  met·a·phor \ˈme-tə-ˌfȯr also -fər\ –  a figure of speech in which a word or phrase literally denoting one kind of object or idea is used in place of another to suggest a likeness or analogy between them

My goal is to create a metaphor that changes our reality by charming people into considering their world in a different way. Chuck Palahniuk

Sometimes I think that creativity is a matter of seeing, or stumbling over, unobvious similarities between things – like composing a fresh metaphor, but on a more complex scale. David Mitchell

What draws me in is that a trip is a leap in the dark. It’s like a metaphor for life. You set off from home, and in the classic travel book, you go to an unknown place. You discover a different world, and you discover yourself. Paul Theroux

What you look for in a picture is a metaphor, something that means something more, that makes you think about things you’ve seen or thought about. Mary Ellen Mark

Metaphors allow you to make the complex simple and the controversial palatable. Conversely, metaphors allow you to create extraordinary meaning out of the seemingly mundane.  Brian Clark

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Metaphor – Metaphors are powerful figures of speech that can influence and persuade, for good or bad. They can influence our behavior and beliefs. They can change how we look at our lives.

Metaphors are often said to help explain complex topics.

Metaphors create vivid images in your head. Metaphors make it easier to understand and remember your focus, goal, values, priorities, etc.

Just like a story, a metaphor engages your brain – the right brain. Metaphors can by-pass rationality and lower defenses to concepts, ideas, beliefs. Metaphors can make you more persuasive, to yourself and others.

So – in life we all use metaphors whether we realize it or not. Did you ever hear “I’m at the end of my rope.” Or “I’m carrying the world on my shoulders.”? We’ve all said something like these perhaps, but they aren’t empowering.

Or maybe “Life is a battle”, “Business is war” – people who use these metaphors may have a different experience than people who say, “Life is a beach” or “Business is a game”. How do you refer to the world – “The masses are asses” or that humanity is “One big family”?

Behind metaphors are beliefs. When you choose a metaphor to describe your life or circumstances, you are choosing the beliefs that it supports.

So if you’re “Feeling fenced in”, then go open the gate and get moving. If you “Can’t see the answer”, then put on some glasses – or a VR visor? – and find the answer that will make things better. If you’re “swimming in a sea of problems”, just reach down and pull out the drain, so you can walk ahead.

Think about what you say; “Life is ___”, “I feel like ____”,   Is it a test, struggle, game, battle? Is it a mystery, dance, garden full of wildflowers?

Do you see what I mean? Change your metaphors. Be aware of them. Ask yourself if they’re empowering. Do the metaphors that you use help you or hold you back?

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

 

BONUS

http://www.ted.com/talks/james_geary_metaphorically_speaking

Aphorism enthusiast and author James Geary waxes on a fascinating fixture of human language: the metaphor. Friend of scribes from Aristotle to Elvis, metaphor can subtly influence the decisions we make, Geary says.

Frey Freyday – Money

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver.- Ayn Rand

Wealth is the ability to fully experience life. –Henry David Thoreau

WORD TO LIVE BY:

 mon·ey – [ˈmənē] – a medium that can be exchanged for goods and services and is used as a measure of their values on the market,including among its forms a commodity such as gold, an officially issued coin or note, or a deposit in a checkingaccount or other readily liquefiable account.

No matter what our career or place in life is, no matter what our life’s mission or purpose is, we need to master money at least on some level. Put simply, we must spend less than we earn, save at least a little for the future and plan for the future. We all know this, right?

Money can do great things in communities, charities, and in lives. It can also be the number one reason why marriages break up. I believe it is simply how we think about and talk about money – and yes, it needs to be discussed more often.

Before anyone does a financial plan, a budget, or whatever, I suggest that it may help to first understand some things and ask some questions….Why is it hard for many of us to save for the future (or invest)? Why does money make us behave in all sorts of weird ways?

From a Ted Talk by LAURIE SANTOS  “…..we’re the smartest thing out there. Why can’t we figure this out? In some sense, where do our mistakes really come from? And having thought about this a little bit, I have seen a couple different possibilities. One possibility is, in some sense, it’s not really our fault. Because we’re a smart species, we can actually create all kinds of environments that are super, super accommodated, sometimes too complicated for us to even actually understand, even though we’ve actually created them.”

So, Ms. Santos, and other scientists, has performed experiments on people and on monkeys. As we all know, sometimes people make bad, irrational decisions about money. Illogical, fearful, selfish, wasteful, impulsive, among other things. Guess what? Monkeys act in a very similar manner. Scientists gave monkeys coins and had them ‘pay’ for grapes. They gave them different scenarios, and like humans, they behaved irrationally in similar circumstances.

The one thing you can learn from scientists’s work, is that whatever strategies we’re using for money, especially those strategies that we share with monkeys, those kinds of strategies can’t be built in for money per se. They’re not for markets or for credit cards. They’re just strategies that we had sitting around in our primate brain that we’re adapting to money. And that might mean that they lead us astray.

Whether you’re looking at the dessert cart and you’re trying to avoid the temptation, or you see something that you want to buy NOW and you also want to save up for something in the FUTURE, you’re going to probably buy it NOW. If you’re seeing your stocks go down or you see losses on an investment or any financial transaction that generates fear or loss, you’re not going to be able to see that in anything but old evolutionary terms.

So what do we do? How do we overcome? Again, like Ms. Santos, the Ted speaker mentioned, “humans are not only smart, we’re really inspirationally smart to the rest of the animals in the biological kingdom. We’re so good at overcoming our biological limitations.”

In other words, we can’t fly to anywhere – but we invented machines that can fly us. Many of us have poor eyesight, yet we invented glasses, contacts and surgery to change our eyesight so that we can see. We, as a species, have invented technologies, machines and strategies to overcome our biology.

The irony is that it might only be in recognizing our limitations that we can really actually overcome them. The hope is that we all will think about our limitations, not necessarily as un-overcome-able, but to recognize them, accept them, and then use the world of design to actually figure them out.

Likewise, we can do so with money. A simple step is to make it automatic. Set up auto withdrawals so that you really don’t ‘see’ the money, it just automatically goes into savings. We can set up a financial plan with emotions in mind so that we can ‘protect our plan’ better. Use technologies, strategies, and rational methods to help you save, spend, and invest.

A few other quick thoughts:

  1. Languages that don’t have a future tense, such as Chinese, the Scandinavians and the Japanese, strongly correlate with higher savings.- this refers to the future using verb helpers like “will” and “shall,” while others don’t have specific verbs to refer to future actions.
  2. Can money buy happiness? In many ways, yes – money can buy happiness — especially when you don’t spend it on yourself. The key is social spending that benefits not just you, but other people.

We have to make it automatic and take out the impulses and emotions. We have to educate ourselves more, we have to change our vocabulary, perspective and long term thinking if we want to save for the future.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.
So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from..

 

BONUS

Ted Talk #1- Are We Wired To Be Bad With Money?

http://www.npr.org/2014/04/04/295349615/are-we-wired-to-be-bad-with-money

Ted Talk #2 – Could Your Language Affect Your Ability To Save Money?

http://www.npr.org/2014/04/04/295356139/could-your-language-affect-your-ability-to-save-money

Ted Talk #3 – Can Money Buy You Happiness?

http://www.npr.org/2014/04/04/297888687/can-money-buy-you-happiness

Frey Freyday (Re-tooled): Parents

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

UPDATE: I took time over the holidays to reflect and retool. Hopefully Freydays were missed and hopefully you now welcome the return:

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

I dedicate this first Frey Freyday/Word To Live By to my parents, Jim and Joan………..

par·ent (pâr′ənt, păr′-) -Parents can be any couple (or individual) that gives birth, adopts, acts as a guardian or otherwise raises a child. It takes almost no effort or care to be a father or mother. It takes lots of love, care, and attention to be a Mom or Dad. A parent provides unconditional love, guidance, listening, nurturing, protection, education, support, morals, values, resilience, commitment, leadership, humor, and ideas. Just like the child, the parent learns along the way too, they do their best. One of the hardest things for a parent to do is also the best thing a parent can do (eventually) and that’s give a child the gift of independence and eventually ‘let go’ and have faith in their child.

[Note: children will never really know what the love for a child is like until they are a parent]

——

One of the greatest titles in the world is parent, and one of the biggest blessings in the world is to have parents to call mom and dad. -Jim DeMint

At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of parents. -Jane D. Hull


Respect your parents. What they tell you is true. Hard work, dedication and faith will get you anything. Imagination will drive itself. You can get anything you want, but you have to have faith behind all your ideas. Stick to your goals and have an undying faith. -Russell Simmons


How true Daddy’s words were when he said: all children must look after their own upbringing. Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands. -Anne Frank


Children learn to smile from their parents.-Shinichi Suzuki

The child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering.-Benjamin Spock


We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves.-Henry Ward Beecher


If at first you don’t succeed, blame your parents.-Marcelene Cox

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.- Rodney Dangerfield

How to Sustain Hope

How to Sustain Hope

Click here http://youtu.be/iY9lNNXbsv4

Transcript:

That you have a single breath within your body right now and that you are alive in this moment is hope.

That you can see all these people walking on the streets smiling is hope.

That all these entrepreneurs are posting their art online every single day now, there is hope there.

That there is a single person out in this world whose soul is still burning alive with love is hope.

It’s so easy, during these days when sometimes there’s darkness, when you see all this negative media coverage, or maybe you have a series of bad days or bad weeks, or your lucky break just isn’t coming, or you’ve been fighting for that dream but you just don’t sense any of that progress that you need to still feel enlivened, engaged and enthusiastic about something, or someone breaks up with you, or you lose your job, or something happens with your health.

That’s part of life—that there’s going to be so many struggles, disappointments, challenges, setbacks and dark days.

Part of sustaining and making it through all of that is maintaining hope. And hope isn’t something that’s just some airy fairy concept; it is a psychological need to believe that we can endure. A psychological need to believe that we can not only endure but that we can succeed and thrive and we can have our way in the world, so that we can accomplish our dreams, make influence and make our own difference. Have hope.

But, even as I say that, let me reconfigure that statement and phrase because too many people say, “Well, you have hope or you can lose hope.” But hope isn’t something you actually “have” or lose, even though we say that phrase at such a popular level.

Years ago, a metaphor came into my life that changed my life forever. It changed my attitude, my actions and how I thought about life and frankly, how I felt every single moment of the day. It was something that lifted me to a whole other level of joy and vibrancy in life. It was this simple metaphor: The power plant doesn’t ‘have’ energy, it transforms and generates energy.

At the same level, we don’t “have” hope. We transform the energy around us and generate hope. We don’t “have” happiness; we generate happiness. Similarly, we don’t “have” sadness or fatigue. We don’t “have” those feelings that so many people think are negative that just land on them. We are, in our own actions, our own thoughts and interpretations—the very thoughts that we’re feeding our psyche—those very things are generating an emotion. And hope is something that is generated by us.

When it feels like it is gone, it becomes a to-do list for us to generate it once more, just like when your phone is dying you plug it in to charge it up. Well, when your hope is dying, it’s time to generate and charge it up again. It’s the same thing with happiness and aliveness and enthusiasm. Those are things when they’re going down you have to get focused and plug back into your passions, to your dreams, to tomorrow to charge yourself back up again and it begins with first and foremost, keeping perspective.

Keep Perspective

A lot of people “lose” hope because their focus goes off. They become very myopic to their own ego, their own emotional reality, their own tiny little world and they miss the joy, abundance, the connection, the incredible energy of this buoyant and jubilant world all around them, even when sometimes the immediate people in their lives or their immediate tribe or culture is not so good.

We have 7 billion people alive today and somehow we haven’t all killed each other—that sustains and motivates hope.

The reality that so many people are making it, that freedom is starting to perpetuate around the world more, that wealth and abundance is coming to more and more and more people, that more and more people are able to dictate their aims, attitudes and dreams today because more information is available than ever before… These things give us hope.

So as soon as we lose perspective and just go into our little tiny day, our little tiny moment, it’s time to expand your awareness and consciousness to the greater stream of life that is happening all around.

Go for a walk in the woods. Look at nature and realize how lucky we are to be here. Go for a stroll outside and look at people as they smile and realize how lucky you are to be here. Walk into a restaurant and see people flirting with each other and having fun at dinner or celebrating, and you start getting a different sense of life. Sometimes you have to get out of your house to feel hope, to keep perspective.

Remember Your Strength

If you’re down right now and struggling, don’t forget to also pull forth and integrate those successes that you’ve had before, those times in your life when things did go well, those times in your life when you surprise yourself with how well you did something or how kind you were or how much you cared or how good of a piece of art you did create. Remember those strength times, those times that there was success, those times that good things did happen. Pull them, feel them, sense them and bring those things to the moment at hand where things do feel frustrating, challenging, disappointing or dark.

Don’t lose perspective. You’ve had beautiful days before. They’ll come again. It’s believing in that that sustains our hope.

Make a Plan

It’s easy to lose hope if there’s no plan. If there’s no vision the people perish. That’s biblical, right? So you have to have a vision for your life.

What is it you see out there for yourself? What is your plan to go and get it?

Believe in your ability to go and be able to make those things come true, even if you’re frustrated and challenged right now, because in this moment, you can choose new thoughts. In this moment you can choose new actions. You can choose to go now and learn some new things, get more and better mentors, to get around a more positive group of people, to read better books and watch better programming. You can choose to direct your focus in ways that will support your growth and have the ability to achieve a plan.

Sit down tonight, amidst all the turmoil and craziness of the world if that’s what you’re feeling, sit with a piece of paper and pen and spill out hope onto the page of what you want to do with your life. Spill out hope onto the page about what it is you want to give, what it is you want to accomplish, achieve, connect and contribute with the world or create. Write it down. Write out reasons to be grateful. Write out reasons to go achieve things. Write out things you want to make happen and start putting a plan towards that.

What would be step one, step two, step three? As you start marching along to achieve that and you fall or falter, don’t give up on yourself. Know that there’s always a new step. If you fail at one step, create a new step to get back up to the next step.

Don’t give up just because it’s challenging or struggling because your dreams are worth it and your dreams don’t care how hard it gets. Your dreams don’t care if you get frustrated. Your dreams don’t care if there’s going to be dark days. Your dreams know they are worth it and it’s time for you to believe in them again and start working towards them at full capacity.

That brings up the third thing.

Stay Persistent

To have hope we have to stay persistent. To keep at it no matter what.

If we’ve got our perspective in mind. If we have our plan then we have to be persistent, to keep working towards it.

There were so many times that I almost stopped doing these videos. So many times that I thought I’m not going to write another book. So many times I thought no one cares about my blog posts or Facebook posts. No one cares about my YouTube show. No one cares about me. Oh, whoa is me.

We can all sit on the couch, eat a bunch of potato chips and watch stupid television and feel sorry for ourselves, but that does not contribute to our aliveness. It does not contribute to the connection of those we love and care for and it does not contribute to the things we create and ultimately give to the world.

We have to say you know what, what are we going to persist at? Sitting and eating potato chips and watching TV? That’s not going to be good.

What we have to do is persist towards our dreams.

What are the three things you could accomplish this very day and tomorrow and start moving towards your dreams?

Every day wake up with an intention: I’m going to do at least three things to move myself forward to something that matters. At least three things—everybody can do that.

What are the three things I’m going to do to move my life forward this day?

Who would I need to reach out to, to be able to move forward?

What could I read or study online to move forward?

What could I do just one simple request or movement or step to move forward and persist at that over and over again?

That’s how things change.

People look at me now and they’re like, “Wow, you know, you have millions of views on YouTube and millions of followers online from Facebook to your email, number one bestselling books” and all these things. There were a million times I could have given up, but I sustained hope that it would ultimately make a difference, that if I just kept persisting at it and kept working that one day it would turn out. If I stayed on the path of my dreams and kept removing distractions. I didn’t say yes to everything. I said yes to what moved me towards my dreams. I worked towards that with such persistence that now I get to do this and it’s true joy.

I couldn’t have done it without, not only your support, but without the realization that hope is important to sustain.

Be Patient

If you’re really frustrated and hating it right now, the easiest way for hope to go out the door is to get in a hurry. So you’re getting in a big hurry, you’re pushing and now you don’t sense the win, the momentum or progress anymore, you’re just more, more, more. You’re in such a big hurry to have more things that sometimes it feels like you have nothing and the reality is you do. But a part of achieving anything is having the patience to work towards it, and having the patience with other people.

Sometimes we lose hope in other people, not really that we lost hope… we just forgot to be patient with them. You need to give a lot of patience to the people in your life if you’re going to sustain hope for them and for your relationships with them. Patience is a critical element. It’s not discussed a lot, but it’s so fundamental to having hope: to be patient with it.

I hope you’ll take those things to mind because I know the days can get dark, but you deserve to have your dreams. You deserve to keep at them. You deserve to sustain that full power, that full energy that hope can cultivate in you, because when you have full hope you’re more confident and willing to go for it or willing to try. You deserve it. Your dreams deserve it and each day starts to feel a little more bright, each day starts to feel a little more magical, each day you start to notice the things to have hope for. Each day you notice the things you’ve done that make other people hopeful.

The next thing you know, suddenly you have this incredible life that’s full of hope, aliveness, joy and full of light, and that’s what we call The Charged Life.

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Like this post? Please share it your friends and family. Let’s bring the charge and spark and joy to others.

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