Frey Freyday – Criticism

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

 “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” Teddy Roosevelt

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At the end of the day, at the end of my life, I want to be able to say that I contributed more than I criticized. – Brene Brown

 WORD TO LIVE BY:

1. Criticism –
   the analysis and judgement of the merits and faults of a literary or artistic work.

 A few thoughts on criticism. If you don’t like them, please don’t criticize me.

• There is constructive criticism, when done correctly with a helpful suggestion attached to it, it can be very helpful if done in a thoughtful, loving way; “When you do X, it comes across as this, did you ever consider doing Y instead because it may work better….”. It is easy and less helpful to criticize without a suggestion or alternative.
• A psychologist/pastor that I respect a lot once told me that often, not always, people criticize because they have a poor self-image or they feel inadequate themselves, that the criticism is a form of projection, in some cases.
• Unless someone has actually done it, or been in your shoes, or been brave as you are in whatever it is you’re doing, they really don’t have a right to criticize.
• It is easier to criticize than create.

 Parting thoughts:

• Dare to risk criticism. Be bold. You may fail. People may say things. Guess what, you were brave and grew from the experience. You’re better for it.
• If I can provide some constructive criticism? Stop reading this and go have a good weekend.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

Frey Freyday – Perseverance

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

 Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained. Marie Curie
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Word to Live By:

perseverance-[ˌpərsəˈvirəns] NOUN -persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.

 So these are very unusual times, right?

We can complain, we can get upset. We can make other choices too.

We must persevere. We must continue, improve, do better, make it work, ask for help, offer help, make an effort, have faith and keep going.

Just keep swimming…..

Many years ago I was in a job that I didn’t like with a person who was hostile and difficult. Finances were tight. I wanted out of that job. I was often concerned and depressed. For about 1 or 2 weeks, I just coasted. I didn’t really work hard and I ‘vegged out’. Then I spoke with a few older, wiser guys and they both told me to ‘keep swinging’. They were right. I went back and put forth 100% effort, worked hard, regardless of the circumstances. It was at that time that I started to look for quotes, like the above quote. I shared them with a few people and they liked it. So I routinely sent out what I then called, “Simple Stuff” – a prelude to the Frey Freyday. This kept my mind focused and more upbeat. Soon the upbeat attitude and full effort actually got me a better job. It also built a habit of putting forth 100% effort and looking for inspiration and ‘good stuff’ in the world.

Perseverance is passion and perseverance for very long-term goals. Perseverance is having stamina. Perseverance is sticking with your future, day in, day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years, and working really hard to make that future a reality. Perseverance is living life like it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

The uncertainty we face now is tough for some. For some there is certainty that things will indeed get harder, at least in the short term. Should we go quietly into that good night? No. Give it your best 100% effort, look for good, and give value to others.

Frankly, in general, I am encouraged by what I see in the U.S. – People are being kind, people are making it work, they are trying to stay upbeat, stay healthy and trying to keep moving ahead.

We are persevering together!

“Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming.                             When nothing is certain, anything is possible”      – Mandy Hale

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

Frey Freyday – Meaning

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value. Hermann Hesse
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For the meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment. Viktor E. Frankl
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WORD TO LIVE BY:

Meaning – [mee-nin]- the end, purpose, or significance of something

Lots of things ‘happen to us’ in life. Illness, loss, death, pain sorrow. There are also lots of events each day that come our way, small and big; traffic, business, bills, and other responsibilities.

Events happen, things happen, how we react to these things is a big deal. The meaning we give to these things makes a difference.

Sometimes we label an event as bad or good. Sometimes that’s not really fair or accurate. Often we need time and perspective to look back on things in our lives. Sometimes that thing that happened seemed like a bad thing for us but after all, it turned out to be good for us.

Recently author Jim Fortin wrote, “There is a personal development program called Landmark Forum and a famous phrase in that program is that “humans are meaning-making machines”. Your brain makes meaning of the world around you for survival purposes and it is entirely brain-based.
People are also making meaning and interpretations about you, what you drive, your ethnicity, your name, where you live, and they’re making judgments which are nothing more than meanings. Many times these meanings are not accurate. It’s simply people just making meanings because that’s what people do. “

Put simply, it isn’t the events, situations, or circumstances of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean….it is the meaning we assign to the event that makes the difference.

So if you’re going to make meanings in life, what I strongly suggest is that you make meanings that actually serve and build you, as opposed to meanings that actually pull you back. Remember: Nothing has any meaning except the meaning you give it

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

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BONUS  :   Podcast

https://www.jimfortin.com/episode-91-your-life-has-no-meaning-except/

Frey Freyday – Compassion

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

 –com·pas·sion \kəm-ˈpa-shən\ – a feeling of wanting to help some other person or being

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The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others.-Albert Schweitzer

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Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.-Dalai Lama

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I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.-Lao Tzu

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WORD TO LIVE BY:

com·pas·sion –

This was shared last year but worth sharing again…

First, all great religions talk about compassion. The more we mature individually and/or as a species, the more compassionate we become.

There is another definition out there that states “Compassion motivates people to go out of their way to help physical, spiritual, or emotional hurts or pains of another. Compassion is often regarded as having an emotional aspect to it, though when based on cerebral notions such as fairness, justice and interdependence, it may be considered rational in nature and its application understood as an activity based on sound judgment.” This is true. Even though compassion and the act of it often makes us feel better and involved emotion, the benefits can truly be rational and pragmatic.

Compassion is part of altruism – loving and giving unconditionally. As we strive to become better people we must take steps to become more altruistic, which of course means we can act more compassionate.

There are scientific, medical, and psychological studies that show how compassion actually benefits the given and the receiver. Studies have shown that when I am compassionate to another, I benefit; the receiver benefits, and even those people that observe the act benefit. Compassion may have the ability to induce feelings of kindness and forgiveness, which could give people the ability to stop situations that occasionally lead to violence.

Identifying with another person is an essential process for human beings. It is commonly seen throughout the world as people adapt and change with new styles of clothing, language, behavior, etc., which is illustrated by infants who begin to mirror the facial expressions and body movements of their mother as early as the first days of their lives. This process is highly related to compassion because sympathizing with others is possible with people from other countries, cultures, locations, etc

Compassion is a number of things – helping others in need, relieving stress/strife/pain/hurt. Compassion is a process of connecting by identifying with another person.

 Today I was reminded again of compassion in an article. The article did cite a quote from author Kari Kampakis. It beautifully describes the concept of using people’s hurtful actions as opportunities for self-growth and compassion. She writes:

“Regardless of how anyone treats you, you stand to benefit. While some people teach you who you do want to be, others teach you who you don’t want to be. And it’s the people who teach you who you don’t want to be that provide some of the most lasting and memorable lessons on social graces, human dignity, and the importance of acting with integrity.”

Sometimes when we experience unkind treatment from others in the world, we can choose to withdraw, feel hurt, feel angry, etc. Or we can use it as a reminder or opportunity, and it can become a means to gain awareness, compassion, and connection.

(the 2020 challenge is to use 3 quotes or less, what do you think?)

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

 

Bonus: 7 Great TED talks about Compassion

https://www.ted.com/playlists/447/how_to_make_compassion_thrive

Frey Freyday – Label

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Label –[ˈlābəl] –VERB –labeling (present participle) assign to a category, especially inaccurately or restrictively.

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Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you. –Thomas Jefferson

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Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition or label of your life; define yourself. –Harvey Fierstein

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Once you label me you negate me. –Soren Kierkegaard

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If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome. –Michael Jordan

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I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine. –Bruce Lee

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Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. –Leo Buscaglia

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If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. –Abraham Maslow

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Winners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations in advance of the event. –Brian Tracy

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Expectations are a form of first-class truth: If people believe it, it’s true.-Bill Gates

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You can’t base your life on other people’s expectations. –Stevie Wonder

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If you were to look up your name in the dictionary, how would you be defined? Would three words just about cover it, or would your epic narrative consume page after page—or even demand a volume of its own? – Tony Robbins

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I think any label is bad. I’m more than a label. – Unknown

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WORD TO LIVE BY:

Labels – something we assign to a person, situation, experience or event. Typically we assign the meaning to these things and depending on our perspective, the label can vary greatly.

As we approach a new year, we often reflect on days and years gone by, and those ahead of us. We all tend to label some days or years as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. We label simple and complex events each and every day as good or bad.

Yet, did you ever label something as ‘bad’ and with time and perspective, you look back and it wasn’t that bad. In fact, sometimes aren’t those events actually good for our lives? There is a Zen story about this, I shared it below in the bonus section. Perspective and timing do change the meaning. We assign the meaning. We can often benefit from not labeling…..

We label people in our lives, even those we don’t really know. How many times have we labeled someone one way and only to find out that they do not fall under that label?

When we place expectations on others or in a relationship, in essence we are putting a label on the person, relationship, or situation. This is inaccurate and limits the person, situation or relationship.

We label ourselves, consciously and unconsciously. Typically I find that we are all hard on ourselves, too hard. Our self-talk is critical and we need to reinforce the good, learn from mistakes and failures and keep an open mind about people, events, and situations before we simply label them as good or bad.

When we put labels on things, you’ve got twoness. You’ve got the label, and you’ve got what you’re labeling. And there is only oneness in the universe, even though we artificially believe in twoness. Our ego likes the feeling of control with a label, it likes the feeling that we know what we’re doing. Really there is no control.

Ideas:

• When something happens, don’t label it good or bad. It is just an event. Be in the moment, observe, be self-aware, learn from it and move on
• When you catch yourself labeling something or someone, don’t judge yourself either. Just stop, realize it, and move on
• Spend a day without the label of “parent” or “boss” and put yourself into an open, observant, self-aware state of mind.

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

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BONUS  :   THE ZEN STORY – GOOD LUCK? BAD LUCK? WHO KNOWS! 

An elderly, hard-working Chinese farmer and his son, had a single horse. They used the horse to plow the field, to sow the seeds, grow the crop, and transport it to the market. The horse was essential for the farmer to earn his livelihood.

One morning, the horse broke the fence and ran away into the woods. When the neighbors found out that the only horse the farmer had, had run away, they came to solace him. They said – “Your only horse has run away just before the planting season. How will you till the land? How will you sow the seeds? This is unfortunate. This is bad luck.”

The farmer replied – “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”

A few days later the farmer’s horse returned from the woods along with two other wild horses. When the neighbors found out the news, they said – ” Now you have three horses! You can till the land much faster with three horses. Maybe you can buy more land and sow more crop and make more money. Or you can sell the other two horses. Either way, you will be a rich man! This is good luck! “

The wise farmer replied – “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”

Next morning, the farmer’s son started training the wild horses to that they would help till the land. While attempting to mount one of the wild horses, he fell down and broke his leg. Just before the sowing season, the son would not be able to help the farmer with his broken leg. The neighbors came once again and commented – ” This is really unfortunate. This is bad luck.“

The wise farmer repeated – “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”

A few days later, the king’s men started to visit each village in the kingdom. A war had started between their kingdom and a neighboring enemy state. The king’s men were enlisting the eldest son from each family to join the army so that they could defeat the enemy state. When they came to the farmer’s house they saw the son with the broken leg. He would not be of much use in the army and hence they didn’t take him. He was the only eldest son in the entire village who was not forcibly taken by the king’s men to fight the war. The neighbors, some of them with teary eyes, came once again to the farmer and commented – “Your son breaking his leg was really fortunate. He is the only one who was not taken. What a stroke of good luck.“

The farmer calmly replied – “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”

Every single time the neighbors thought that what had happened to the farmer was bad luck, it turned out to be good luck! And just when the neighbor’s thought that the incidents had brought the farmer good luck, it turned out to be bad luck! 

Frey Freyday – Rejection

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

rejection -[rəˈjekSH(ə)n] –NOUN the dismissing or refusing of a proposal, idea,

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We all learn lessons in life. Some stick, some don’t. I have always learned more from rejection and failure than from acceptance and success. Henry Rollins

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The biggest hurdle is rejection. Any business you start, be ready for it. The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is the successful people do all the things the unsuccessful people don’t want to do. When 10 doors are slammed in your face, go to door number 11 enthusiastically, with a smile on your face. John Paul DeJoria

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I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat. Sylvester Stallone
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Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don’t base your self-esteem on their opinions. Harvey Mackay
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 WORD TO LIVE BY:
Rejection – a necessary thing that we all go through, it’s how you frame it that matters.

Some of us may think rejection is this thing that happens all the time, so what happens is that so many people guide their life based on this fear that they’re going to be rejected, so they don’t take action and don’t start new things or chase their dreams because they’re worried about what other people are going to think. It may be love, sports, business, education, whatever….

They’re going to be rejected and deemed unworthy, unlovable or not adequate in some way or another and you think, that’s so sad, because rejection, the actual form of rejection that shapes people’s identity and hurts them, happens so rarely. If you don’t believe it then that’s an internal fear, not the reality of the universe.

According to Brendon Burchard, there is some real, basic data. Brendon has traveled around the globe, well over most of the globe now, and here’s what he found out over and over again.

He always do this little simple activity where he says, ‘if you’ve ever been rejected in a way where it hurt, it actually hurt and formed and shaped your identity in a way, it was a significant hurt that you felt and it changed how you felt about yourself and what you might want to accomplish in the world. If you’ve ever felt that before would you raise your hand?’ Everyone raises their hand.

Then Brendon says, ‘if you’ve ever been rejected by, let’s say, three people, who really rejected you in that way that you were shot down, hurt and it changed who you are and what you wanted to accomplish in life. How many times has that ever happened with three people?’.. A bunch of people raise their hands again and he starts escalating that number from three, to five to seven, to ten, fifteen, twenty. and thirty.

Here’s what’s amazing. Brendon states that he has done this all over the world with audiences with thousands of people in them and here’s the average across all those audiences, all around the world, it doesn’t matter the culture. The average number is about seven.

So anywhere between five and seven, meaning, people say between five and seven people hurt their feelings enough with a real rejection, not one of those, “Well I’m sorry I can’t go out with you I’m washing my hair” stuff. I mean someone who really criticized you and rejected you in a way that it hurt. The average person says five to seven people rejected them like that.

There are some people who have more than that. I’m saying the average is five to seven and yet so many people when this is asked, how many of you are so scared of rejection that almost everyone raises their hand.

It’s like wait a second, we’re scared of something that barely ever happens?

 

If you think about it, we get rejected all the time – from when we were a baby. Rejection is a necessary way of learning, improving, making our approach better. Too often we get scared of the simple idea that we may get rejected and overlook the benefits of the experience, what we’ll learn from the rejection, the efforts, the new relationships, the new steps we’re taking, etc. – and we often lose sight that we may not get rejected at all and we may succeed. It is worth the risk.

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

–

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

–

BONUS  :

TED Talks to help you shake off rejection

Everyone faces rejection, sometimes on repeat. These speakers experienced a barrage of ‘no’s, but were able to push past the disappointment and keep on going. May their resilience inspire you.

https://www.ted.com/playlists/234/talks_to_help_you_shake_off_re

Frey Freyday – State of Mind

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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Some people, say life is hard. It is not. Some people say it’s easy. It is not.
Some say it’s lonely, tricky, or a test. It is not. Life is only a reflection, of whatever you say. What say you? The Universe (www.tut.com)

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Conflict is very much a state of mind. If you’re not in that state of mind, it doesn’t bother you. -Unknown

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Fears are nothing more than a state of mind.-Napoleon Hill

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In words are seen the state of mind and character and disposition of the speaker.-Plutarch

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A good stance and posture reflect a proper state of mind.-Morihei Ueshiba

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It is not a dreamlike state, but the somehow insulated state, that a great musician achieves in a great performance. He’s aware of where he is and what he’s doing, but his mind is on the playing of the instrument with an internal sense of rightness.-Arnold Palmer

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Fear seems to have many causes. Fear of loss, fear of failure, fear of being hurt, and so on, but ultimately all fear is the ego’s fear of death, of annihilation. To the ego, death is always just around the corner. In this mind-identified state, fear of death affects every aspect of your life.-Eckhart Tolle

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People may hear your words, but they feel your state of mind.-John C. Maxwell

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My state of mind is that if you push me towards something that you think is a weakness, then I will turn that perceived weakness into a strength.-Michael Jordan

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Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way, to choose one’s own state of mind.-Victor E. Frankl

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Words To Live By:

state of mind –noun attitude, perspective, outlook, approach, mood, disposition,frame of mind, mindset, way of looking at things.

Your state of mind is everything.

We all face challenges, stresses, ‘challenging people’, and difficult situations

We also face unique opportunities, chances to excel, and each day we have a wide open future.

In either case, a challenging one or a great one, we can benefit greatly by being in the right state of mind.

Some say it’s peace of mind, some say you’re ‘being you’, some say you’re ‘connected’, etc.

Think about when you’re in a great state of mind. You’re connected, you’re in a zone, you’re making things happen and your performance, thought processes, feelings are all good. It sometimes seems like magic happens here.

What if you were in a great state of mind when you did your work? When you interacted with a loved one or friend or coworker? What if you took a moment to pause, relax, and shake off the initial reaction you have next time something ‘bad’ happens and you instead face it with a great state of mind?

How you stand and move affects your thoughts and attitude. Shoulders back, check back and up, head up, deep breaths and you feel confident. Shoulders and head down, shallow breathing and you’re depressed or fearful, etc. Similarly, the language and questions you use all day long affect you. Do you ask, “Why am I so lucky?” or do you ask “What’s wrong with me?”-Your brain will search for an answer to each. Do you say “I don’t know” “I don’t care” or “Whatever” a lot? Is that useful? What you focus on expands- focus on what works in your life, focus on what you want and what you can take action to reach your dreams and goals. Focus on what you are- or could be- grateful for. There are still negative things in life, hurdles, setbacks and irritating things/people but focusing on the good stuff makes life better.

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Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from…

Frey Freyday-Gratitude

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Gratitude – [grat-i-tood, -tyood] – the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful:

You can’t be grateful and angry simultaneously. You can’t be fearful and be grateful simultaneously. So gratitude is really the reset button.-Unknown

Most of us never stop to consider our blessings; rather, we spend the day only thinking about our problems. But since you have to be alive to have problems, be grateful for the opportunity to have them. Bernie Siegel –

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Gratitude – Give thanks for everything, big and small, good and bad.

As I look back over the past years, I’ve been downsized a few times, I’ve worked at places that were not fun, I’ve worked with people that were not ideal, and I’ve been at banks that were not very good about approving many loans.

Then I thought that I’m grateful right now; grateful to be working with nice people- I really like the team at my job, I am grateful for my family and friends, I am grateful for my health and such. I am grateful that 87 years ago today, my late father was born.

At this time of year, many of us have or know some young people that are graduating from something to another thing, and I’m grateful my youngest is moving from high school to college and I’ll soon be an ‘empty nester’. (I thought that was for old people.) I am grateful for all of that. Life isn’t perfect but I am grateful for the tough times and times like now, which seem to be good.

I know that this sort of thing has been covered in countless articles and blogs by others. In many ways we all know that giving thanks and showing gratitude makes sense and that we should do it, but many of us don’t consistently do it. It does work…..

Here is an exercise that I recently read, and something I don’t do often but hope to do more often…fyi….

“There are so many things that we take for granted. We live in a free country, we have food, shelter, education, safety, we have beauty in nature and in each other, we have so many people in this world that want to help, heal, give, teach and share. Look at your coffee cup in the morning. Someone made that cup, created it so that you could enjoy the coffee. Someone took great pain to package your coffee in a secure, healthy, clean, sanitary container. People worked years to improve the freshness and flavor.

Most of us have so many people that care for and about us….friends, family, co-workers – you’d be surprised who cares for you. Think about all of the people, strangers included, that somehow touch your life each and everyday. When we have what we call a ‘bad day’ we are often in a negative mindset or one of fear or scarcity. We are looking at, focusing on what we don’t have, what we lost, what we are lacking. It has been said that wherever there is appreciation, there will be duplication. It can be said that what we focus on expands – so if you are grateful for something, you will have more of it. If you have gratitude for challenges and ‘bad’ things in life, it helps to re-frame them. An experience that we could say is ‘bad’ can instead be thought of as experience, education, wisdom. We learned from the situation, didn’t we? We are wiser and stronger for making it through. Because of that experience, we are better people, and that’s worth being grateful. Think about it, we all have things in life that we may have considered ‘bad’ as they were happening to us. If you instead think that life is there happening for us rather than to us, and once we gain some perspective on it, we can see that that same event may in fact be a good thing for our life. When you look at a problem like that, it is no longer a ‘bad’ one. Gratitude helps us re-focus. We can’t be fearful if we’re grateful. We can’t be angry if we’re grateful. We can’t feel scarcity if we have gratitude.”

 

On this Memorial Day weekend, certainly I am glad for all those who have died while serving in the United States Armed Forces.

 

 

 

P.S. My older daughter is in Finland with a group, the Finnish word for gratitude is kiitollisuus

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

Frey Freyday – Anger

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

A man is about as big as the things that make him angry. – Winston Churchill

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For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind. Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Speak when you are angry – and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret. Laurence J. Peter
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Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy. Aristotle
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You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger. Buddha
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People won’t have time for you if you are always angry or complaining. Stephen Hawking
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Too much self-centered attitude, you see, brings, you see, isolation. Result: loneliness, fear, anger. The extreme self-centered attitude is the source of suffering. Dalai Lama
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To be angry is to revenge the faults of others on ourselves. Alexander Pope
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WORD TO LIVE BY:

Anger- a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility. Something we should let go of, release, avoid.

When I was young, starting my life in the workforce, I thought anger helped propel me in my workday. I look back and wonder how many days I spent being angry and letting that motivate me.

I also had a more sarcastic humor, often based on anger. It did make people laugh but in retrospect, I think it may have distanced some people and it built a perception of me that wasn’t true, or I hope it isn’t.

When we all get depressed, we find power in anger sometimes. It is a continuous loop or circle, we feel sad/depressed and powerless, the anger comes from frustration, etc. and the powerful feeling of anger makes us feel better, feel in control momentarily, but it is fleeting and then we get depressed again.

I remember I had some really cheap luggage with these painful, thin handles years ago. Anger is like heavy baggage with painful handles that we carry around. The bags are meant to be for someone else but we’re the ones stuck carrying them around, weighing us down.

I read once about the Sedona Method. It was a different way to look at things. No judgement. It was an easy way to let go of anger (and other emotional methods). Just ask yourself, “If I wanted, could I let go of this? When? What if I let go of this now?” Imagine holding a pencil and then just letting it go, letting it drop. We can do that with anger. (See the bonus below)

Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what we’re doing when get angry is giving something outside us control over our happiness. We can choose to not let little things upset us.

Parting thought: Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. Unknown
Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

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BONUS  :

More on the Sedona Method: https://www.sedona.com/How-It-Works.asp

Now, hold it in front of you and really grip it tightly. Pretend this is one of your limiting feelings and that your hand represents your gut or your consciousness. If you held the object long enough, this would start to feel uncomfortable yet familiar.

Now, open your hand and roll the object around in it. Notice that you are the one holding on to it; it is not attached to your hand. The same is true with your feelings, too. Your feelings are as attached to you as this object is attached to your hand.

We hold on to our feelings and forget that we are holding on to them. It’s even in our language. When we feel angry or sad, we don’t usually say, “I feel angry,” or, “I feel sad.” We say, “I am angry,” or, “I am sad.” Without realizing it, we are misidentifying that we are the feeling. Often, we believe a feeling is holding on to us. This is not true… we are always in control and just don’t know it.

Now, let the object go.

What happened? You let go of the object, and it dropped to the floor. Was that hard? Of course not. That’s what we mean when we say “let go.”

Frey Freyday – Giving

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Christmas is the spirit of giving without a thought of getting. It is happiness because we see joy in people. It is forgetting self and finding time for others. It is discarding the meaningless and stressing the true values. Thomas S. Monson
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For it is in giving that we receive. Where there is charity and wisdom, there is neither fear nor ignorance. Francis of Assisi

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Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. Lao Tzu
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I’m going to give away a lot more than half my money. I’d be happy to give that to the government if the government put together programs that were like I’m giving away to charity, in which I believe the money is effectively used to help people. Ray Dalio

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If you haven’t got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble. Bob Hope

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No one has ever become poor by giving. Anne Frank
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WORD TO LIVE BY:

Giving – giving to others obviously helps the recipients but it also helps us connect to others, it helps us focus on others rather than ourselves, and actually it helps us ‘feel’ better.

We can give of our time, volunteering, write a check, donate food, donate clothing, donate old furniture, donate our skills and expertise. All good things. We can give to our community, our friends, clients, strangers. We can give a kind word, a smile, a precious gift, something sentimental, whatever.

I read an article once “Why Giving Makes Us So Happy” that stated: “Giving is not just a verb. At its essence, it is also a noun. More than something we do, giving is who we are in each moment of our lives, exemplified by the choices we make — sharing a laugh with a neighbor; paying a compliment to the checkout person at the grocery store; passing a warm greeting to someone on the sidewalk; attending carefully to the story our child is telling us rather than chatting on the telephone; relinquishing the need in discussions with our spouse to always be right. These are the behaviors of giving that generate inner happiness.” https://www.huffingtonpost.com/donna-rockwell-psyd/how-giving-is-the-root-to_b_4484075.html

Sometimes during this time of year, society might nudge us towards the commercialization of the holidays, the sales, the buying, what gifts that we want and that we’re giving. I feel it is important to remind myself that it is supposed to be about giving and charity and similar things. It is especially during this time of year that people donate to charities – often due to the season, sometimes just because it is year-end.

Some people donate to the same charity each year, that’s fine. There are so many great charities out there, I don’t think that you can go wrong donating to any one, and it is good to keep an open mind.

If you’re going to give to a charity, don’t you want to make sure that they are well-rated and that they use your money wisely? Check out Charity Navigator (who are they? Charity Navigator is America’s premier independent charity evaluator.)–

If you’re looking for a charity or more to donate to, consider these….The exceptional charities on this list execute their missions in a fiscally responsible way while adhering to good governance and other best practices that minimize the chance of unethical activities. Each has earned perfect scores for its Financial Health and its Accountability & Transparency. Those two scores then translate into a perfect 100 point overall score. Less than one percent of the thousands of charities rated by Charity Navigator have earned perfect scores.

Here are selected, very high rated charities, I tried to pick one from each category:

https://www.directrelief.org/ Direct Relief is a humanitarian aid organization, active in all 50 states and more than 80 countries, with a mission to improve the health and lives of people affected by poverty or emergencies. Nongovernmental, nonsectarian, and not-for-profit, Direct Relief provides assistance to people and communities without regard to politics, religion, ethnic identities or ability to pay. Direct Relief’s assistance programs – which focus on emergency preparedness and disaster response and the prevention and treatment of disease – are tailored to the particular circumstances and needs of the world’s most vulnerable and at-risk populations. Direct Relief honors the generosity of its donors by following a firm policy of full transparency in all of its operations.

http://www.seo-usa.org/ SEO was founded in 1963 with a mission to provide talented and motivated young people from underserved and underrepresented communities with access to superior educational and career opportunities. Today, SEO runs three programs: SEO Scholars is an eight-year academic program that gets low-income public high school students to and through college-with a 95% college graduation rate; SEO Career is the nation’s premier summer internship and training program for underrepresented college students, specializing in banking, private equity, corporate leadership, law, and non-profit; SEO Alternative Investments provides education, exposure, training and mentoring opportunities to talented professionals traditionally underrepresented in the alternative investments sector.

http://www.kidsalive.org/ Kids Alive International is a Christian faith mission dedicated to rescuing orphans and vulnerable children – meeting their spiritual, physical, educational, and emotional needs – raising them to be contributing members of their society and witnesses to their family and community. Founded in 1916, Kids Alive International began providing homes for homeless children. Since that time, Kids Alive has expanded to include not only children’s homes but also care centers and schools. These programs provide orphans and abandoned children with an education, clothing, food, medical care (in some cases), and most importantly, the love of Christ.

http://www.lcanimal.org/ Founded in 1984, Last Chance for Animals (LCA) recognizes that animals have the ability to experience pain, and as such they deserve certain basic rights protecting them from pain caused by humans. LCA believes that non-human animals should not be subjected to suffering and exploitation by humans because alternatives exist for nearly every traditional usage of animals. LCA opposes the use of animals for scientific curiosity, entertainment, clothing, and food. LCA recognizes the use of non-human animals in medical experimentation as both immoral and of questionable scientific validity due to the tremendous biological difference between species. LCA’s work advocates conscious and informed lifestyle decisions, and LCA is committed to disseminating truthful information about societal animal abuse to improve the treatment of animals.

https://curealz.org/ Cure Alzheimer’s Fund was established to fund targeted research with the highest probability of slowing, stopping or reversing Alzheimer’s disease through venture based philanthropy. All organizational expenses are paid for by the Founders and Board, allowing all other contributions to be applied directly to Alzheimer’s Disease research. Our foundational research is focused on identifying all the genes and gene mutations that are linked to Alzheimer’s Disease. We can then use this genetic information to reliably predict, early in life, those at greatest risk for the disease (with legal safeguards and genetic and psychological counseling). Our foundational research projects include: Alzheimer’s Genome Project, Alzheimer’s Genome Map, Alzheimer’s Brain-Genetic Study, Alzheimer’s Clinical-Genetic Study, Alzheimer’s Gene Database, MicroRNA’s and APP, and Alzheimer’s Gene Discovery Project.

http://www.fisherhouse.org/ Fisher House Foundation, Inc. is an international not-for-profit organization established to improve the quality of life for members of the military, retirees, Veterans and their families. The Foundation builds comfort homes at military and VA medical centers and gifts them to the government. It assists with the coordination of private support and encourages public support for the network of comfort homes known as “Zachary and Elizabeth M. Fisher Houses.” It works to educate and inform the military and Veterans’ communities, their families and the general public about Fisher Houses and provides necessary support to individual Fisher Houses as needed. Other quality of life programs include scholarship programs, a grants program for volunteer organizations with innovative plans for quality of life projects, the Hero Miles and Hotels for Heroes programs and individual assistance to members of the military and their families during a crisis.

https://www.eji.org/ The Equal Justice Initiative is a private, nonprofit organization that provides legal representation to indigent defendants and prisoners who have been denied fair and just treatment in the legal system. We litigate on behalf of condemned prisoners, juvenile offenders, people wrongly convicted or charged with violent crimes, poor people denied effective representation, and others whose trials are marked by racial bias or prosecutorial misconduct. EJI works with communities that have been marginalized by poverty and discouraged by unequal treatment.

https://wildearthallies.org/ Wild Earth Allies, Inc. (formerly known as Fauna & Flora International, Inc.) joins forces with local organizations and individuals to protect the wildlife and habitats that are so critical to our global biodiversity and sustainability. Our mission is to protect vital areas of our natural world for the benefit of wildlife, habitats, and people by inspiring collaborative action. Our organization is built on important values-optimism, cultural respect, shared learning, and integrity.

The following did not get a 100% but did receive a strong 92.25%-94.13% and I personally recommend it:

https://www.shrinershospitalsforchildren.org/shc Shriners Hospitals for Children is a one-of-a-kind international health care system of 22 hospitals dedicated to improving the lives of children by providing specialty pediatric care, innovative research and outstanding teaching programs. Children up to age 18 with orthopedic conditions, burns, spinal cord injuries, and cleft lip and palate are eligible for care and receive all services in a family-centered environment at no charge – regardless of financial need.

http://www.feedingamerica.org/ Feeding America is the nationwide network of 200 food banks that leads the fight against hunger in the United States. Together, we provide food to more than 46 million people through 60,000 food pantries and meal programs in communities across America. Feeding America also supports programs that improve food security among the people we serve; educates the public about the problem of hunger; and advocates for legislation that protects people from going hungry. Individuals, charities, businesses and government all have a role in ending hunger. Donate. Volunteer. Advocate. Educate. Together we can solve hunger.

https://uwswpa.org/ United Way of Southwestern Pennsylvania leads and mobilizes the caring power of individuals, the business community and organizations to help local people in need measurably improve their lives. United Way creates long-lasting change for the betterment of our community. United Way focuses on solving the pressing issues you care about by bringing together the entire community — policymakers, corporate leaders, excellent agency partners, and people like you who want to help – to assist our neighbors in need and develop long-term solutions. No other single local non-profit can mobilize all of these partners and bring them together to achieve results. Together we have the opportunity to transform the lives of so many people throughout Pennsylvania and accomplish long- lasting impact.

Honorable mention:

(I’m in lending and finance, right? So why not help others through lending and finance?)

https://www.grameenfoundation.org/ Grameen Foundation (GF) USA supports technology and microfinance, commonly known as banking for the poor. Microfinance provides small loans, savings, and other financial services so poor people can launch businesses. As an entrepreneur’s business grows, so does her self-esteem, her family’s well-being, and jobs in her community. GF was founded in 1997 by individuals inspired by Muhammad Yunus and Grameen Bank, Nobel Peace Prize laureates. Our mission is to enable the poor, especially the poorest, to create a world without poverty. GF’s work has helped families across Africa, the Americas, Asia and the Middle East.

And

https://www.fredrogers.org/ Family Communications was founded by Fred Rogers in 1971 as the non-profit producer of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood for PBS. In the years that followed, the company not only created hundreds of episodes of this much-loved program, but also extended Fred’s values and approach to other efforts in promoting children’s social, emotional, and behavioral health and supporting parents, caregivers, teachers and other professionals in their work with children. Now, we honor Fred by carrying on his work under our new name – The Fred Rogers Company. We’re proud to be building on Fred’s legacy in innovative ways through a wide variety of media, and engaging new generations of children and families with his timeless wisdom.

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Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….