Frey Freyday – Memories

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

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Memories are thoughts that arise. They’re not realities. Only when you believe that they are real, then they have the power over you. But when you realize it’s just another thought arising about the past, then you can have a spacious relationship with that thought. The thought no longer has you in its grip.-Eckhart Tolle

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The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.-Bill Cosby

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Take care of all your memories. For you cannot relive them.-Bob Dylan

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You shouldn’t wait for other people to make special things happen. You have to create your own memories.-Heidi Klum

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To reminisce with my old friends, a chance to share some memories, and play our songs again.-Ricky Nelson

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Memories are the key not to the past, but to the future.-Corrie Ten Boom

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Chocolate is the first luxury. It has so many things wrapped up in it: Deliciousness in the moment, childhood memories, and that grin-inducing feeling of getting a reward for being good.-Mariska Hargitay

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It’s great to reminisce about good memories of my past. It was enjoyable when it was today. So learning to enjoy today has two benefits: it gives me happiness right now, and it becomes a good memory later.-George Foreman

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Memories of my girls are pretty precious. – Jim Frey

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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.-Steven Wright

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I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer’s disease where they slowly began to recover other people’s lost memories.-George Carlin

Frey Freyday – Comedy/Laughter

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.-Charlie Chaplin

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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.-Erma Bombeck

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Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.-Peter Ustinov

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Disappointment is an endless wellspring of comedy inspiration. -Martin Freeman

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Rhetoric does not get you anywhere, because Hitler and Mussolini are just as good at rhetoric. But if you can bring these people down with comedy, they stand no chance.-Mel Brooks

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When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.-William Shakespeare

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Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.-Kurt Vonnegut

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I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it’s the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It’s probably the most important thing in a person.-Audrey Hepburn

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It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either.-Wayne Dyer

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I loved to make people laugh in high school, and then I found I loved being on stage in front of people. I’m sure that’s some kind of ego trip or a way to overcome shyness. I was very kind of shy and reserved, so there’s a way to be on stage and be performing and balance your life out.-Steve Martin

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Laughter was the most recognizable expression of emotion in a recent cross-cultural study of emotional perception published in Psychological Science. –The Rotarian

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I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.-Milton Berle

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Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.-Lord Byron

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(To Be Removed, simply reply REMOVE)

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BONUS:

It will make you laugh a little….A funny little webseries that I like by Jerry Seinfeld:

http://comediansincarsgettingcoffee.com/

My Story, Chapter 8

(This is a quick overview “MY STORY” of my life, mostly to highlight the victories, challenges, and roller coasters we all ride in life. I offer some lessons that I learned at some points, and hopefully my perspective and experiences can help at least one person. Plus, some of you have just simply asked to learn more about me…)

….in Chapter 7, I mentioned how I was finally focusing on the right things and doing well. That’s when I got a call out of the blue to try something new and different, and to leave the world of self-employment. It was a little risky, too, because I entered the world of banking and SBA lending for the first time and I knew nothing about it….

Before I jump into new info, I wanted to reflect on what I consider to be guidance by our inner Self, or the Source, or God or the Universe – whatever you want to call it. To me, it is much the same. I believe we’re connected, so if you’re true to your Self and in the right state of mind and heart, your Self should equal = God.

Anyhow, I find it interesting, now looking back, at the ways I have guided myself, or been guided, along the way in life. While I was in the moments, it wasn’t much fun and wasn’t “interesting”. It was just plain rough. Now looking back, I’m glad and sort of relieved things didn’t always work out like I hoped. I think that I was being led by my ego during many of those moments into a job I thought I wanted, a job that paid a lot or looked cool, or both. Luckily my Self led me another way.

I can think of a few times where I wanted a job, even Needed a job. I applied for a position and did everything right. Then I got to the interview and blew it or just didn’t get a position that I felt I was definitely qualified for…..while I was in the MBA program I made contacts that got me an interview with Arthur Andersen Consulting. At that time, Arthur Andersen was doing very well nationwide and locally. They were in the news in good ways often. I had 4 interviews with them and they seemed to all go well. I loved the culture, the age groups, the compensation packages, etc. I wanted the job!

I was scheduled for a 5th interview. I was pretty happy that things were moving along well. Then I heard Arthur Andersen’s name in the news again. It seemed this time Negative! They were identified closely with ENRON and some of the ‘creative accounting’ there. Soon all new hires were put on hold. Soon after that a few people started to leave the local Arthur Andersen office. Soon after that more things came out and things got worse for them.

I had worked for the federal government, as I mentioned, and in one case later in my life, I tried to go back into the government and get re-hired by the same agency. The economy was shaky and I thought the government would offer some security while I got back on my feet. I had applied and many people and old friends thought it would be a slam dunk hire. Then, I got a form letter that I was declined. I had accidentally filled out the form wrong in one spot, I erroneously put a wrong grade number for the application and they denied my application. Even after I called and explained I was told that they could not modify an application and I’d have to wait until next year. It really was depressing and disappointing. However, not long after, it was announced that this agency was going to close. 300 people, many of my friends, would now need to look for new jobs. Had I been accepted, I would have been there only a short time and then required to go out and look anew. It would have been worse.

I’ve had many other instances when I wanted to work for a company, been passed over in some way, and then found out that there was an issue, it closed, or the job was not a good one. In some way or another I was lucky and it seemed like someone was watching out for me. What appeared to be bad luck seemed like good luck.

More recently I considered a career move and was again denied. I took it to heart and felt pretty down for a while. Then I recalled these past experiences in my life…I’m still “too close” to see big picture so far but I tell myself that this too shall pass and that something better is coming, this opportunity wasn’t right for my path and some Intelligence is helping me…..

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…I think that it helps to have a Vision where or what you want. Have a clear idea, picture, thought, feelings – where you want to go, how you want it to be, and why. Don’t worry about the How. You need to stay focused on that vision – what you can do today, how you can take action – and avoid focusing on what doesn’t work, avoid focusing on the negative. Setting goals is great. Having faith in yourself and faith in others, and faith in the world helps a lot. Giving, being open-minded, being happy, and being persistent are other lessons that I’d have to pass along too…..

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…..to jump back into my Chapter 8 timeline and get back to the story – I was going to start telling you about how I was hired to a large bank for the first time and how well things went for some time……had I not had the previous denials, challenges and even failures, I would not have had this new job at the bank. Those doors that were closed may or may not have been good for me, we will never know, but certainly when I started this new job at the bank, I was very happy to be there……to be continued.

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My Story, Chapter 5

Continued….

…Fast forward a few years…..After our firm lost 90% of our income from the one factory going direct nationwide, I struggled a few years finding what the next step was and despite the fact that I was working full time I didn’t take any salary the first year after we lost the big chunk of income. I was working and acting on faith. I had saved and invested for the past few years and I’m glad that I did because I was able to live off that while I rebuilt the business. My father had retired and I was running the business full time.

I had to search and find companies and products that I could represent and sell that would start to replace that income. It was a scary and exciting time. It was easier perhaps, because I had few responsibilities. There were some ups and downs in the business and in the economy but life was good for a single guy.

I had a great group of friends from college with which I still hung out. We called ourselves the Dudes. Now, after college, life and work sometimes got in the way. However, we still found time for roadtrips, parties, and other fun things. I have lots of good memories of laughs, practical jokes, talking, hanging out, traveling.

So one summer, our next fun thing was the Jimmy Buffett concert. I didn’t even like Jimmy Buffett but it was a chance to hang out with my friends and to have some fun in the sun……in a parking lot somewhere outside of Pittsburgh. So we packed into my white mini-van and drove. We sat in the parking lot and tail-gated. Frankly I don’t think that I even went in to watch the concert……

So we were partying, having fun…. Just as you do when you tailgate, we were walking around, mingling, and others were coming around to our spot. There I saw Jill again. (Jill was a friend from college who was always nice to talk with … I knew some of the people she dated and she knew some of the people I dated during college)..For the past 2 years, Jill was away at graduate school in North Carolina. Now back in town, she was with her sisters at the concert.

The concert came and went. A few weeks later my buddy from Maryland asked the Dudes to a hotel in Pennsylvania while they were in town for a wedding. For whatever reason, I faxed Jill to let her know we were going there and she was welcome to meet us. (before texting and email, faxing was an easy way to communicate-AOL was still in the early stages) At that point I still thought of Jill as a friend and I wanted to include her with my other close friends.

Jill came and we all had a good time. The next day everyone went their separate ways. Jill and I decided to go have lunch at Wendy’s. I don’t know what was in the Frosty that day but we laughed and had a good time. I made dumb jokes and she laughed. Something had clicked from the evening before. Somewhere in there we decided that we were fond of each and we began to date.

It was a different feeling, it was an attraction, sure, but it was also a head and heart sort of thing. I recall saying to myself, “She’s pretty, smart, funny. We’re good friends, I respect her, I have a great time with her, we can talk about things, we have great families.” I hadn’t seen it before that moment but we were a great fit. We liked spending time with each other and trusted one another. We could talk about anything. There were feelings there. From what started as an immature relationship as friends in college grew to that of young adults taking on life together.

I never looked back after that point. In my younger years I had been fickle and immature with some relationships. But when I thought about dating Jill, I thought, “Yes, this works, this makes sense, this feels right.” The relationship hit all cylinders; my mind, heart and body. I no longer considered dating others and no longer became distracted.

I continued to work in the business and tried to find the right fit for a company to represent. I found another company with a great product but it turned out the owner was taking all the profits and buying boats, etc. and didn’t bother to pay the bills. It’s tough for a manufacturing company to run when you don’t pay for the machinery. That company closed and I again had to start over. I found another company with really good people but their product line was limited and they started having quality issues. Soon because of customer feedback and quality issues, I split with them. It all started to work away at my credibility, since I was switching product lines.

I learned a lot about people, perserverance and life during that time. Many people stuck with me because of my dad, some because of me, some because of the product and / or service. Others took off in a heartbeat after years of working together and after giving them lots of free consulting and help.

I confess that I took some of these things personally, and my ego was bigger then, so it was tough. Plus I suddenly was earning much less despite working long hours, traveling many miles, and driving a white minivan. (A mini-van wasn’t great for a single guy in his mid-twenties!)

Cool, neat, little things happened to us when we were together….for instance one time we got bumped from a flight while we were flying to Florida. We got free first class tickets to anywhere in the continental U.S. So we picked the farthest point that sounded great – San Diego. We traveled to San Diego and experienced lots of great things – with trips to L.A. and Mexico. We again had cool experiences together there. San Diego grew on us.

Jill and I dated for a while but we didn’t want to wait too long to be married. We also didn’t really want all the big ‘fuss’ for our wedding. You see, the year we decided to get married, there were 15 other weddings…..we were invited to all 15. Jill and I were in about 7 of them, including her two sisters. It was crazy! Just think, we spent at least $50 (usually more) for a wedding, plus hotel and travel. That was an expensive year! Most of those weddings were crammed into September-December.

At first we were going to elope to the Outer Banks and come home married. But we decided not to do so, our families might have had hurt feelings, etc. So we decided to have a much smaller and elegant wedding. We wanted to pay for it all ourselves. I got a second job selling alarm systems. One large project paid for some of the reception, another paid for most of the honeymoon. Jill worked a second job and saved money for the wedding and other things. Our parents still wanted to help, so my parents helped by adding and upgrading the food. Jill’s parents helped with the wedding dress and photography.

Still, it felt good to pay for most of it ourselves. I was self-employed and I had decided to start attending the evening MBA program at Pitt. I enjoyed it but the classes after work were a bit tough, as were the payments. I did take out a loan for some of it and I tried to pay for some as I went.

After about a year, my new wife and I saved some money, used a small gift from my parents, and built a small Cape Cod. It was nice and simple. The upstairs and basement were left unfinished to save on dough. We were happy.

The thing about all of it was this- we were tight financially for some time. I actually had to ‘lean’ on my wife for 1-2 years as I rebuild the business, she often made more during the volatile time for me. Then I kept growing it.. She believed in me and I in her. Jill and her sisters were running a large child care center that eventually would have 80+kids.

(At this point I began to think about something that I’d see observe and feel for the rest of my life – it seemed that I was reaching out for a job, an opportunity, something that I was definitely capable of doing well – but I was pushed back. I think in some way I was being pushed or pulled back to where I was supposed to go. Maybe something inside of me or part of me was guiding me. Maybe it was God or something else. But so many times we all experience it – ‘that job would be great and I can do it ‘ then you apply and get smacked back royally. Maybe there’s a reason….almost like we’re being guided back onto the right path….)

I found some stability with my own business and really started to enjoy the MBA program. Many cool things were happening in our lives. Small things like the fact we got upgraded to a Penthouse suite with 3 bathrooms, a dining room with 10 chairs, full kitchen, den, living room, and skyline veranda in Toronto…..Big things like getting pregnant – we were expecting our first child!

Then I had a chance to move onto a totally different career. I got a job as an intelligence analyst. I felt like Jack Ryan from Tom Clancy’s series. I started working for the U.S. Department of Justice and I liked it for a while.

Leaving a cushy job – a good idea or bad idea?……..

Simple Stuff

It’s part of nature’s built-in checks and balances, that while there may be times when you think you can’t even help yourself, precisely in such moments there will always be someone else nearby… you can help, instead.
Which, I think you know, is actually one of the fastest ways to help yourself. I hope that helps, The Universe (Mike Dooley http://www.tut.com)

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Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. Lao Tzu

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Let us not be satisfied with just giving money. Money is not enough, money can be got, but they need your hearts to love them. So, spread your love everywhere you go. Mother Teresa

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I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver. Maya Angelou

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When I chased after money, I never had enough. When I got my life on purpose and focused on giving of myself and everything that arrived into my life, then I was prosperous. Wayne Dyer

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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving. Erma Bombeck

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http://www.onewebstrategy.com

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Simple Stuff – smile edition

It’s not the career you choose, the friend you marry, or the path you take that determines success or happiness in life, but that each day, in some small way, you seek to amaze as much as be amazed. –Mike Dooley, http://www.tut.com, The Universe

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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. Phyllis Diller

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The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.-Thomas Paine

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A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside. -Denis Waitley

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If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. -Andy Rooney

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Remember even though the outside world might be raining, if you keep on smiling the sun will soon show its face and smile back at you. -Anna Lee

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A Smile is the best make up any girl can wear –Unknown

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Signs a big dream is about to happen….

When you aren’t where you want to be, when things aren’t exactly as you want them now, we need to act/feel/become like it is happening now.

…..Signs a big dream is about to happen……..What am I saying?

When your dream is about to come true – or when you want something to happen, you can benefit GREATLY by acting AS IF IT IS ALREADY TRUE.

I have done it and it does work, it does help!

Think about what you want, think about how you want it to be, then act as if it is already that way, that you already have “IT”.

Write a letter to your friends to say “hey, it happened, I have IT and I’m so relieved and happy. I really appreciate your support as a friend, your friendship as I worked to make IT happen. I feel like I can do anything, I’m so happy. Again, thanks for being there!” (Send it now or hold it?)

Write your boss a nice letter of gratitude saying you appreciate the years of employment, income, and support but now you are able to earn enough income from another source and you can leave your job. Be nice, be appreciative, without all of our experiences, we wouldn’t be where we are and you wouldn’t now have “IT” in your hands.

Regularly visualize the after-party. Plan a party. OK….so you got “IT”. Now let’s celebrate with your loved ones. What is the party like? What is the room like? Music? Food? Who is there? What is everyone wearing? See them smiling, congratulating you, see you celebrating with everyone and being grateful. How good does it feel? You can now pay them back a little, you can pay for some fun for them now. It feels great to celebrate and treat friends to a good time, doesn’t it?

Sometimes you speak and behave as if it is already true….as if you already have it….as if you already feel that way.

And think….now that you already have “IT”….you also already know what your next goal is…..

Feel those feelings – when you have “IT” how are you feeling ? Relieved….Certain…Confident…Happy….Excited….Free…Independent….

Everyday, do something, take action, make an effort towards “IT”.

Everyday celebrate out loud and secretly about having “IT”. Practice. How happy will you feel?
Will you be jumping? Are you a fist pumper? Do you run and hug the nearest person? How are you celebrating?

Practice celebrating!

(make sure you clearly know what “IT” is.)

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(partial credit is due to Mike Dooley at www.tut.com)

Simple Stuff

(SIMPLE STUFF is a short bit of ideas, quotes, phrases, and ‘stuff’ to help you stay focused, stay loose, ask better questions, and laugh a bit.)

“For it’s not light that is needed, but fire; it’s not the gentle shower, but thunder. We need the storm, the whirlwind and the earthquake in our hearts.” ~ Frederick Douglass

If we focus on what we fear, we feel it today and experience it as if it has already happened. Living in fear does not equate to a proactive life—it will guarantee drama, stress, and reactivity instead of fulfillment. Tony Robbins

When confronted by mean-spiritedness, and hateful gossip, respond to it from your position of love: “I don’t want to make any judgments.” Rather than criticizing the mean-spirited person, silently project love. Wayne Dyer

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. Mark Twain

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. – Steven Wright

The bravest thing you can do when you are not brave is to profess courage and act accordingly. Corra Harris

Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength but perserverance. Samuel Johnson

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The Wreath of Death

Ok, I’m just kidding. I was going to call it the Wreath of Divorce, but then opted for the Wreath of Death – it sounded more like a Bruce Lee movie or James Bond franchise work, plus somehow the ‘eath’  in both words had a zen-like appeal. Why the title? Bear with me, I’ll explain.

So today me and the family woke up and we decided to attend church. Before church I was a little crabby and perhaps we all weren’t 100% our cheery selves, so we, …mostly me, were focusing on things that didn’t work, instead of things that did work. Never a good way to start a day.
I believe that I was pointing out things my wife was doing that I found erroneous, and I was annoyed by a few things my daughters were doing. None of the things were important or significant.

Then in church, as I was mumbling to myself about something I found annoying with my daughter, I suddenly saw a friend of ours wisk his child out of the church into the narthex, while nodding to a person in the crowd he knew as a nurse. The nurse and several people joined him outside the church. We all know that the child has had some medical challenges in his young life. We all got tense, you could see a few people tear up, and the priest made a comment as well. We knew something was wrong, but no one knew how serious nor to what extent.

My wife had the better frame of mind to join the other child in the pew who was now alone and concerned. She also later checked on the child and father. I wasn’t thinking well enough.

I had many emotions and thoughts during those tense moments….I think that I felt bad for the child and father, of course – everyone did – but I felt extra bad because I was ‘upset’ as so many silly, irrelevant and unimportant things that morning. Here I was, in some nice clothes, in a nice church, with a full stomach, with a job, with an income, with a healthy, happy family, surrounded by friends, complaining and grumbling about things I can’t really even recall now.

Things for the child turned out OK. Soon we found out that the child’s issue was over and that it wasn’t serious. The father later carried in the child and we spoke to him and found that things were better. They were checked out by an EMT and things were fine. We all breathed a sigh of relief.

Later at home, I apologized to my wife and we hugged. We both agreed that the incident gave us a nice slap in the face and a better perspective on things. I felt guilty, silly, and embarrassed for my earlier irritated mood.

So the Wreath? Every year we put up this huge wreath. When we moved into this house, a “friend” gave us this wreath. I use quotes because after I put up the wreath in the first year, I considered not calling them friends anymore. (just kidding)

The wreath is heavy, awkward and not fun to put up. The first year we put it up using a tall ladder in high winds. It must have looked pretty funny…a guy up on a ladder struggling with a large wreath, a woman below, and the two of them yelling back and forth in high winds…. The next year we tried something different. The following year, something different, again. We always improve a little.

However, putting up this awkward wreath on a small hook about 30 feet up is very much like a task one would find on AMAZING RACE. In fact I’m pretty sure they considered this as an event and a focus group told them it generated too much negative energy. I think the producers were concerned advertisers would pull their spots.

You see, my wife and I don’t always work like a well-oiled machine while hanging the wreath. In fact, after we complete the task each year, we often breathe a sigh of relief and know that our marriage is now stronger having survived “The Wreath”. The Wreath is a true test whether we should consider divorce, as it can strain the best of relationships, I think. But every year, we do well and we’re stronger for it.

Well this year, just before putting up the Wreath of Death and Divorce on the beautiful Sunday afternoon, we had the aforementioned incident a church. Suddenly hanging a decorative wreath our own beautiful home, which is warm, has electric and utilities, and considering those affected by SANDY, it seemed a whole lot better.

Any struggles on or about The Wreath were quckly dismissed as I continuously recalled my roller coaster of feelings in church, being concerned, sad, then relieved – and grateful for my own family’s good health.

Often times we get caught up in the little things, silly things don’t we? Hopefully we don’t need a slap in the face to help us remember how good we have it. I think that next time – and everytime, I look at the Wreath, I’ll recall the lesson from church and look at things a little different. Maybe my story can help you too.

Everybody loves a story….make sure it is a good story

You know, we often get caught up in stories.

Stories can be so very powerful. Think about your favorite movie….the story line is often the power. Even if you don’t like Star Wars, you have to admit that there is power of the story there. Despite all of the special effects and interesting aliens, technology, powers, and gadgets; without the story it would have been forgotten about by now. Star Wars continues to be popular because the story is powerful and connects us. We feel good and identify with the story. We see ourselves in parts of the story and want to see ourselves in other parts.

We connect with people, organizations, brands, cultures and TV shows because of the story. Have you ever had the experience of not knowing someone or some organization, then you hear their story, and you’re suddenly connected? We do have more of a connection if there are similarities in our own lives or stories, but even if not, when we hear a story, we understand, we paint a picture in our heads and we know.

Did you ever notice how some people have a story? Maybe they talk about an injury, about a person that hurt them, a job they lost, or something in their past? What’s your story? Our story often discuss who have helped us and who  hurt us. We get really attached to our own stories, don’t we? Sometimes we feel comfort in our stories. Stories connect us because they simply the complex, they highlight the emotions, they make experiences real, and they allow us to become part of the story. Stories can create metaphors.

However, I think that we all lose sight on how our stories can limit us, restrict us, and how they can basically become an excuse for why we are not doing better. Too many times, our stories essentially say, “This is how it is for me, this is my reality.” We get lost in the past too much and we then think that we’re caught in the past. I don’t think that we even realize that we are getting caught up in our stories.

“I was in a car wreck and…” or “I was in a divorce and…” or “I had this failure/loss and…” or “I lost this person from my life and…” We can hear other’s stories like this, right? We can hear our own stories too, right?

We all fail to realize that there are two sides to every story. We can easily change our story. We are not ‘telling it like it is’ — there is always another way to tell our story. Instead of telling the same old story, I bet that you can go back and highlight other parts of your life and experiences.

“We can not change anything until we first accept it.” Carl Jung

“You can not change your life until you accept responsibility for creating it.” Andy Dooley

A story can be empowering or it can be limiting. Unfortunately most of us unknowingly tell ourselves and people around us stories that do not empower us. Do your stories talk about “what happened to you” or what went well? Do your stories talk about what was right/what worked – or what went wrong?

We create our state of mind, our interpretation of the past, and we create our present and future by our stories.

Think about your story for a moment – you know the one that you tell a friend, a stranger, and especially the one that you tell yourself. Does it highlight how things happened to you and explains why you are “here” and not “there”?  Does the story talk about being overwhelmed? In some way does it highlight what didn’t work?

If you believe in creating your own vibrations in life, in the Law of Attraction, in anything like that, then you want your story to create the correct reality for you. Because whatever your story is – good / bad /happy/sad – that will be your reality. Your story is how you perceive life, it is what you focus on….so focus on what you want and focus on what feels good.

If you focus on what’s wrong with you, what’s wrong with the world – you will be unhappy and if you believe in the Law of Attraction, you will create “that” reality.

Author Andy Dooley uses this as an analogy; think of a rocket ship. Picture it. Think of a rocket ship for each of your desires right now. See the rocket ship for each. Think of your emotions as rocket fuel.  The rocket doesn’t go anywhere with fuel – without the emotion…without the right emotion. That is why it is so important to create a good story going forward as if it has already happened – as if your goal/desire has already been accomplished. When you get a good story; it should talk about good things in the past and in the future. Add emotions and the rocket will blast off and fly far.

“Imagination and emotion are  the most concentrated forms of energy that you possess as a physical creature.” Jane Roberts

For a long time I was stuck in a less than empowering story. I lost my job, I lost both my parents, and experienced losses from investment properties – all within 6 months or less during 2009. All that is true, sure, but my story focused on those events alone. There were good things along the way that I ignored. The way I interpreted the past certainly didn’t help my future.

Honestly, I believe that part of those events came about because ‘my story’ before 2009 was incredibly negative. Before I lost my parents and my job and thousands of dollars, I was unhappy with many aspects of my life, a life that I really should have enjoyed and appreciated. I was unhappy with a great job that I had. I was unhappy with my wife and life in general.

I had some very nice income, a very nice home, a great job that I really wanted back (after I lost it) and a wonderful wife. But I focused on what wasn’t working.

Working from home, I complained about not interacting with others as much. (I actually was on the phone all the time and I went out and visited with people but that was my focus.  Plus, how many people would love to work at home and make a nice income?) My home was/is very nice but I focused on silly things that weren’t working instead of the beauty and nature of it. My wife and I had and have a great relationship, I was simply focusing on little things she did wrong – that any of us do – and ignored the many great things she did. I was unhappy with so many wonderful things…then I lost most of them or felt the threat of losing them.

For a few years I had been telling a story about my job that highlighted the bad parts. Then after I lost my job and my parents, I finally realized how much I really liked my job and my life before – yet I still told a story that didn’t empower me. My story was about how these things ‘hit me’ and how I felt like I was down for the count, how the wind was knocked out of me, how I was spun for a loop, how my head wasn’t on straight. I actually could picture myself sitting down, holding my head as if I had been hit or shaken. Not very empowering.

You see, in my story to others, I used those phrases and cliches. I recall feeling like I was in a prize fight and got knocked around and got knocked down- it was because that’s how I described the experiences to those around me. Do you think that someone in this state can make good decisions? No.

I made decisions like I was smacked around. My decisions were filled with panic, desparation as if I was under duress. My decisions worsened my situation in many cases and added to a weak story.

Also, my story was almost completely looking into the past only. I wasn’t looking forward. This isn’t healthy. Think when you graduated high school or college – or another time when you were young and excited. You were looking into the future. Your story was about tomorrow. My story – and many of us do this as we age – was locked in the past. We can’t create a future by looking into a dreary past.

During that time period, I had accomplishments, I had lucky things come my way, I had made some good relationships, I did some good stuff and good stuff happened to me – but my story rarely if ever spoke of it. How about your story?

It does take a lot of energy for a rocket to take off. It does take a lot for a dream/desire/goal to take off. But if you add emotion, imagination, and empowering thoughts, you can fuel the dream. If you allow fear, desparation, and negative emotions to fuel your rocket, it will take off in the wrong direction.

So – does your story make you feel good? When you tell it to yourself or someone, do you feel drained? Empowered? Abused? Victimized? Does the other person just feel sorry for you? I know with my story, I got lots of sympathy and shared sorrow. People did offer love and support and that was great but it was if I was like a wounded soldier in a hospital bed. People reached out and offered kindness but I wasn’t the guy that they came to to make things happen, I wasn’t a leader, I wasn’t confident, charismatic, happy, or anything good with the story I was telling.

I think the life of an actor can be good or bad – but one aspect would be really great – living the life of someone else. But guess what? We can create that ‘someone else’, at least create it in little ways in our own life.

Whether you know it or not, you are living your life according to your story. If you want to change your life, you must first accept your current situation, realize what story you’re using now – and then change it. Make your story powerful, empowering, happy, grateful – make it more about how you feel good, about good emotions – than about materialistic things. Create a story that builds you up, that brings things to you, that sends out good vibrations. Create a story that you want.

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