Frey Freyday- Habits

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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Repetition of the same thought or physical action develops into a habit which, repeated frequently enough, becomes an automatic reflex. Norman Vincent Peale
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Moral excellence comes about as a result of habit. We become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts. Aristotle
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Food is not rational. Food is culture, habit, craving and identity. Jonathan Safran Foer
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Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. Jim Ryun
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To change a habit, make a conscious decision, then act out the new behavior. Maxwell Maltz
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Until you have formed the habit of looking for the good instead of the bad there is in others, you will be neither successful nor happy. Napoleon Hill
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Make it your habit not to be critical about small things. Edward Everett Hale
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WORD TO LIVE BY:

Habit- noun–hab·​it | \ ˈha-bət  \-an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary

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Did you ever notice how hard it is to break some habits?

It has been said that as much as 95% of what you do all day long is habit. Habits happen in your brain and you have no conscious thought about it. Many say that Habits CONTROL you.

(Yes, habits can be ‘good’ or ‘bad’)

In fact, research done at the Max Planck Institute in Leipzig Germany, one of the foremost research institutes in the world, discovered that 95% of everything that we do on a daily basis is brain-based and habit-based. We go through our entire days on automatic autopilot. As a matter of fact, we go through most of our days on brain-based automatic autopilot or on unconscious autopilot.

Habits are not personal. They come from the reptilian part of the brain. By the way, the reptilian part of the brain doesn’t know right or wrong, good from bad. It just works from habit.

“You don’t get in life what you want, you get what/who you are (habits).” Jim Fortin

Habits have to do with our identity also. If you ask someone, “Are you a smoker?” – they will answer yes or no. Obviously if they are a smoker, they’ll say yes. Their identity is a smoker. But we all have other little identities, many we’re not aware of; ‘a messy person’, ‘someone who is always late’, ‘victim’, ‘hard-worker’, ‘generous person’, ‘funny person’, etc. etc..

You could also state that everything you have in life is a habit and everything you don’t have is a habit so it’s vital that you master your habit management.

·         willpower only works to some degree to change habits ·         everything is about training yourself; good or bad

 With a habit, there is first the cue or urge to do something. Often we don’t know this happens. So we have the urge to do something – the habit, then we do the habit, which is often like a reward. Example; I have an urge, I say, “I want a diet soda”. I often break and have one in that moment.

So let’s say you want to stop a habit; essentially your willpower and your reptilian brain battle it out. Usually your reptilian brain wins.

But there are strategies to overcome the reptilian brain. Here is one from a guy named Jim Fortin:

When you get an urge for a habit, say “This is just a habit, it is not me.”

1. Then say, “This urge will go away if I dismiss it.”
2. Then say, “It is just my habit ‘voice’, it’s not me!”
3. Then say, “I Choose to dismiss this urge and this ‘voice’ now!”
4. Say one more thing; “I’ve moved my attention elsewhere.”

Remember, we are usually where we are in our life where our attention is. If we move our attention, we can more our lives.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

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BONUS  :

Why/what and more about habits and Steps to break habits

Podcast by Jim Fortin “Why It’s So Hard To Break Your Bad Habits”

https://www.jimfortin.com/podcast/episode-45-why-its-so-hard-to-break-your-bad-habits-part-2/

Frey Freyday – Money

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Finance is not merely about making money. It’s about achieving our deep goals and protecting the fruits of our labor. It’s about stewardship and, therefore, about achieving the good society. Robert J. Shiller
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What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. Bob Dylan
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Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like. Will Rogers
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Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. Ayn Rand
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WORD TO LIVE BY:

money- noun, often attributive-mon·​ey | \ ˈmə-nē  \

plural moneys or monies\ ˈmə-​nēz  \- something generally accepted as a medium of exchange, a measure of value, or a means of payment:

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People react to and think about money in many different ways.

Most people don’t like to talk about money. That can be problematic.

Unfortunately many, many Americans live paycheck to paycheck. We don’t have any reserves for an emergency; a health issue, a car repair, etc.

In the U.S., the average retirement savings is $95,766 across all age groups, according to the EPI. Experts recommend having at least $1,000,000 saved for retirement by the age of 60.

Too many of us don’t know or understand some things around savings, investments, mortgages, credit cards, loans. That’s OK not to know or understand we all start out that way with everything. However, too many people then still go ahead with life and they don’t ask questions, they don’t read, self-educate or ask for help. In some ways, ignorance is chosen.

Don’t beat yourself up…We are humans, therefore we still act partially rational, partially irrational. Our brains still have primitive fight or flight mechanisms; we react to and from emotions. This affects our money habits.

Many people know they want or need to save money but our ‘reptile brain’ hinders this. We sometimes panic, sometimes fear drives us, sometimes we’re driven by an impulse in the moment to spend, in any case, while we know that we should set aside some of our money for savings, many of us do not. Once we realize and accept that we still have this part in all of us, and that it affects our money, we can do something about it, we can ‘hack’ it.

Really, the best way to do this is simple. Make it automatic. Many of us have a 401k or retirement plan at work. We can take out a % of income BEFORE we even see it. Maximize that %. Use Apps to make savings easier. There are many different ways to pull out money – before you can touch it – and put it into savings or investments. Out of sight, out of mind is a good thing in this case. Put the money somewhere that you can’t touch it. Schedule automatic transfers to another account. Save your loose change. Budget with cash and envelopes.

Think about it….if you set aside 5%, for instance, you really won’t miss it, especially if you take it out up front before you ‘see it’. We can all adjust to small changes like that. You can still live a fair lifestyle with 95% of your money.

If you get a raise, set that raise aside before you see it. For instance, if you get a 3% raise, set up an automatic withdrawal so that you pull the 3% out and save it. You’ve been living on your income without that 3% until now, you won’t miss what you don’t have, put that somewhere where you can’t touch it.

There are many websites for and about this. https://americasaves.org/for-savers/save-automatically https://www.discover.com/credit-cards/resources/5-ways-of-saving-money-automatically/ , https://americasaves.org/for-savers/make-a-plan-how-to-save-money/54-ways-to-save-money ,

If you don’t know or understand something about money, credit, finance, whatever, don’t just keep living like that – read, ask, search it. There are many good resources and people out there who aren’t trying to sell you something, there are people that can and want to help.

http://www.pbs.org/your-life-your-money/index.php , https://360financialliteracy.org/ , http://www.practicalmoneyskills.com/ , https://www.financialliteracy101.org/

Above all, we all need to take time to talk about money and plan more. If you think about it, most Americans can spend weeks, even months, planning a vacation. I’ve seen some people plan a wedding for over a year. However, too often many of us spend almost no time planning for retirement.

Things can’t improve without change.

Every human has four endowments – self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom… The power to choose, to respond, to change. Stephen Covey
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Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. Carol Burnett

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Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

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BONUS  :   How I learned to read –and trade stocks – in prison

Financial literacy isn’t a skill — it’s a lifestyle. Take it from Curtis “Wall Street” Carroll. As an incarcerated individual, Carroll knows the power of a dollar. While in prison, he taught himself how to read and trade stocks, and now he shares a simple, powerful message: we all need to be more savvy with our money.

https://www.ted.com/talks/curtis_wall_street_carroll_how_i_learned_to_read_and_trade_stocks_in_prison

Frey Freyday – Anger

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

A man is about as big as the things that make him angry. – Winston Churchill

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For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind. Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Speak when you are angry – and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret. Laurence J. Peter
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Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy. Aristotle
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You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger. Buddha
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People won’t have time for you if you are always angry or complaining. Stephen Hawking
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Too much self-centered attitude, you see, brings, you see, isolation. Result: loneliness, fear, anger. The extreme self-centered attitude is the source of suffering. Dalai Lama
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To be angry is to revenge the faults of others on ourselves. Alexander Pope
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WORD TO LIVE BY:

Anger- a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility. Something we should let go of, release, avoid.

When I was young, starting my life in the workforce, I thought anger helped propel me in my workday. I look back and wonder how many days I spent being angry and letting that motivate me.

I also had a more sarcastic humor, often based on anger. It did make people laugh but in retrospect, I think it may have distanced some people and it built a perception of me that wasn’t true, or I hope it isn’t.

When we all get depressed, we find power in anger sometimes. It is a continuous loop or circle, we feel sad/depressed and powerless, the anger comes from frustration, etc. and the powerful feeling of anger makes us feel better, feel in control momentarily, but it is fleeting and then we get depressed again.

I remember I had some really cheap luggage with these painful, thin handles years ago. Anger is like heavy baggage with painful handles that we carry around. The bags are meant to be for someone else but we’re the ones stuck carrying them around, weighing us down.

I read once about the Sedona Method. It was a different way to look at things. No judgement. It was an easy way to let go of anger (and other emotional methods). Just ask yourself, “If I wanted, could I let go of this? When? What if I let go of this now?” Imagine holding a pencil and then just letting it go, letting it drop. We can do that with anger. (See the bonus below)

Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what we’re doing when get angry is giving something outside us control over our happiness. We can choose to not let little things upset us.

Parting thought: Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. Unknown
Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

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BONUS  :

More on the Sedona Method: https://www.sedona.com/How-It-Works.asp

Now, hold it in front of you and really grip it tightly. Pretend this is one of your limiting feelings and that your hand represents your gut or your consciousness. If you held the object long enough, this would start to feel uncomfortable yet familiar.

Now, open your hand and roll the object around in it. Notice that you are the one holding on to it; it is not attached to your hand. The same is true with your feelings, too. Your feelings are as attached to you as this object is attached to your hand.

We hold on to our feelings and forget that we are holding on to them. It’s even in our language. When we feel angry or sad, we don’t usually say, “I feel angry,” or, “I feel sad.” We say, “I am angry,” or, “I am sad.” Without realizing it, we are misidentifying that we are the feeling. Often, we believe a feeling is holding on to us. This is not true… we are always in control and just don’t know it.

Now, let the object go.

What happened? You let go of the object, and it dropped to the floor. Was that hard? Of course not. That’s what we mean when we say “let go.”

Frey Freyday – Habits

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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Habit- noun -hab·it \ˈha-bət\ –a behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition or physiologic exposure that shows itself in regularity or increased facility of performance

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Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones. Benjamin Franklin
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Young children need to develop good habits that will be useful to them the rest of their lives. It is important to keep the lessons age-appropriate. For example, when your children start earning allowances, that would be a good time to teach them how to put some money in the bank instead of spending it all. Bill Rancic
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You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, ‘I release the need for this in my life’. Wayne Dyer
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When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways – either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength. Dalai Lama
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Habits change into character. Ovid
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The people you surround yourself with influence your behaviors, so choose friends who have healthy habits. Dan Buettner
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WORD TO LIVE BY:

Habit – a seemingly small thing that can add up and either improve your life, or not.

Habits aren’t destiny. We can substitute, change and interrupt habits, we can transform our businesses, our communities, and our lives.

Habits occur every day whether we’re aware of it or not. Habits shape our beliefs, our daily accomplishments, our moods, our health, our success, our relationship – habits are like the bricks in a large building – each one builds upon the other. They may appear meaningless or small but each is part of the building. If a brick – or a habit – isn’t a good one, it can weaken the whole building.

Good habits breed good health, success, happiness, good relationships, creativity, abundance.

Habits can be changed, interrupted and replaced.

First we must be aware of the habit and identify it. We need to identify what the trigger is, the routine, the reward and the cue. Interrupt the pattern.

If you eat chips at 10pm each night, ask why you do it, what is the trigger or cue, what is the real reward?

Once you identify the habit and uncover the possible reward(s), experiment with replacing the reward(s). So next time when you go for chips at 10pm, try eating an apple, celery or something healthy. Or instead of eating, go for a late walk, exercise a little, read something interesting, or do something fun/creative – something that provides a reward to you – experiment.

Also, think about habits that you can add or change that will further your goals. Knowledge and goals are nice but without action, they are nothing. Habits are small steps in action.

What steps can you take today to move towards a goal or dream – even a little. What habits can you start that will help you reach your goal or dream?

What habits can you do each day that will help you be happier, healthier, more successful, creative? What is important to you and how can changing/building habits each day improve your life?

Take a moment to think about each little thing you do every minute or hour and think about if that improves your day and life, or if it holds you back in some way.

• Can you exercise more? Can you spend time reading more? Can you take time to be creative in some way? Can you eat less/healthier/something else? Can you save more? Can you volunteer/contribute? Can I meditate?
• Can I spend time asking better questions? Can I visualize my goals? Can I think of a solution to a challenge rather than just complaining? Can I be proactive? Can I reach out to a loved one in some meaningful way? Can I get up/go to bed at a better time?

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Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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BONUS Resource: TED Talk

http://www.ted.com/playlists/321/talks_to_form_better_habits

Habits: How they form and how to break them

https://www.npr.org/2012/03/05/147192599/habits-how-they-form-and-how-to-break-them

How Habits Work https://charlesduhigg.com/how-habits-work/

Frey Freyday – Integrity

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

in·teg·ri·ty – [inˈteɡrədē] – the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

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The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office. Dwight D. Eisenhower –

The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively. Bob Marley –

Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not. Oprah Winfrey –

Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values. Ayn Rand –

Moral authority comes from following universal and timeless principles like honesty, integrity, treating people with respect. Stephen Covey –

WORD TO LIVE BY:

 

Integrity: the most important thing is you do what is right when no one is looking.
Integrity is used a lot in business discussions and such, almost overused I think. It can be used in a number of contexts.

 

To me, I use it really only for myself. In other words, to me integrity is really what you do when no one is looking.

Not too many years ago, there were cases when I lost a little integrity in some instances.

One time, as a family, we were all trying to eat healthy foods all week, less sugar, junk, etc. There were times when I was alone at work or traveling and I’d ‘cheat’ on our informal agreement and indulge on cookies, donuts and junk food. No one knew but me.

Other times when I was much younger, I had times when I didn’t put forth full effort at work and didn’t give it my best. Still other times in my youth when I’d state that I read or exercised or did something completely and I didn’t. There were times when I acted nice and friendly on the outside but in my mind I was thinking otherwise.

I believe integrity with oneself is very important. Part of it is discipline, sure – it takes discipline to exercise or avoid that donut, to do work or whatever ‘it’ is. But part of it is just choosing to do the right thing, especially when the easier choice is only ‘half-right’, or just plain wrong.

I find that when I have with integrity with myself- when I stick to my values, when I follow my vision, and when I do things ‘behind the scenes’ even when no one is watching, I build momentum, I feel more confident and satisfied and in some ways I build more credibility with myself. When I don’t do something, I lose it.

Whether its anonymously giving or doing something for charity, doing that extra set of exercise, skipping the snack or the junk, making that call, having a special touch, doing work above and beyond, making an extra effort, living up to our goals and beliefs, truly being kind and compassionate-inside and out, or just doing the right thing, integrity is a must – it is what makes us better.

Whether it be something ‘big’ like a marriage over decades or just what you’re eating today, we have a belief or commitment to something. We are committed to certain goals and values, right? So, in the words of Les Brown “honor your commitments with integrity.” Give your marriage, your diet, your goals, your whatever the honor of doing the right thing all the time. It is hard for me and hard for any of us because we are humans. We seek to be better but we have weak moments.

May the 4^th be with you.

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

–

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

–

BONUS : https://www.ted.com/tedx/events/7160

Theme: Integrity

Integrity

“Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.” – Cecil Beaton

We should not assume that integrity must always stand for some sort of static moral high ground or hubris. Instead, we should acknowledge the playfulness of this quality, and apply it to the spirit with which we ought to embrace our passions and the determination that can help us achieve our means, whether in a personal, communal or scientific endeavor. So, in the words of Les Brown “honor your commitments with integrity.”

 

Frey Freyday – Progress/Improve

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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im·prove -[imˈpro͞ov] –VERB – make or become better:

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There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self. Ernest Hemingway

What you do today can improve all your tomorrows. Ralph Marston –

We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve. Bill Gates –

To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often. Winston Churchill –

Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning. Benjamin Franklin –

The power to question is the basis of all human progress. Indira Gandhi –

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything. George Bernard Shaw –

Our ambition should be to rule ourselves, the true kingdom for each one of us; and true progress is to know more, and be more, and to do more. Oscar Wilde –

WORDS TO LIVE BY:

Progress and/or Improvement – something we all need to do; both incrementally and when possible, in large steps.

I think Tony Robbins said that most people tend to overestimate what they can accomplish in one year but underestimate what they can do over 10 years, and I paraphrase.

In other words, we truly have the ability to improve and make our situations, our selves better. Speaking for myself, I used to look more for the ‘big step’ where I could make one big change and improve myself a lot at once.

As I became ‘wiser’ I now understand that the small incremental changes; the little habits and things that we do each and every day have huge repercussions in our lives – changing something little each day can change your destiny. As corny as that may sound, it is true.

I also think that we need to think of progress with only ‘us’ in mind. In other words, progress and improvement isn’t about me and other people, it is about me today and me yesterday. If I can improve something about me versus the old me, that’s great. We should not be comparing ourselves to others or , “we will become vain and bitter.” (Desiderata by Max Ehrmann)

Personally, I often think, and I mean a few times a day at least, ‘how can I make this better’. I’ve learned that it isn’t always good to ask that in every situation or relationship. Sometimes it is best to just live in the moment, enjoy what we have, be grateful, and accept the present. I’ve also found that there are times that, if you ask the question in a poor state of mind or in a negative way, it can be counterproductive.

Change can be scary. Progress and improvement is about change. We’re pushing ourselves, we’re going beyond our comfort zone, we’re getting better but we may make mistakes or fail. That’s all good but again, it can bring about fear.

For some people, fear of failure/mistakes is sometimes too much to take a chance or to make a change. For others, going outside the comfortable zone they have now is too much. For others, it might even be the fear of success, fear of one’s own greatness, also sometimes referred to as the Jonah Complex.

If we have a vision for our lives, if we think from the end with the end in mind, if we have goals of some kind, we can focus on the end results and work towards these things – we can more easily progress and improve along the way if we keep reflecting upon this vision.

If we simply wander around without an end result in mind, we may have more difficulty focusing on making consistent progress, on improving where and how that we might benefit most.

My psychology teacher, Mr. Henderson, often said, “Pay now and play later or play now and pay later.” This is true with progress. Small or large actions today can change our tomorrows.

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Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

 

TWO BONUSES:

1. TED TALK – THE POWER OF BELIEVING THAT YOU CAN IMPROVE – https://www.ted.com/talks/carol_dweck_the_power_of_believing_that_you_can_improve#t-25157
2. If you want to improve, here’s some ideas to change your habits: https://onewebstrategy.wordpress.com/2014/11/12/how-to-make-new-habits-stick-for-good/

Frey Freyday – Top Ten Words

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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Hello – I am breaking from the normal format and process for a moment. Sometimes we can benefit from reflection and a different perspective. Also, we all love those “Top Ten” lists that everyone seems to offer.

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This is a list of the Top Ten Words to Live By, in my opinion. I think in different situations, one can argue a different order here but in general, my list:

 

1. State of mind – No matter what, your state of mind is everything. Making decisions, taking actions, interacting with others, thinking by ourselves, happiness, life – our state of mind affects all things for better or worse. In the same moment, the state of mind can change everything.

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Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way, to choose one’s own state of mind.-Victor E. Frankl

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2. Decision – the decision to act, to think a certain way, to do or not do….making a decision can literally make an instant and huge impact. A decision can determine your destiny.

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“What I’ve come to realize is that the single most important decision in life is this: Are you committed to being happy, no matter what happens to you?” asks Tony Robbins. “To put this another way, will you commit to enjoying life not only when everything goes your way but also when everything goes against you, when injustice happens, when someone screws you over, when you lose something or someone you love, or when nobody seems to understand or appreciation you?”

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3. Action – Talk is cheap. Theroad to hell is paved with good  One action starts change. Consistent action builds habits, persistence and a pipeline of success. Massive action produces massive results. I believe that action is everything. Dumb or smart. Evil or well-meaning. Good ideas are all fine and good but without action, they are nothing.

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Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.-Bradley Whitford

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Action is the foundational key to all success.-Pablo Picasso

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4. Focus – In this world there is good stuff, empowering stuff, upsetting stuff, angry stuff – all sorts of stuff for us to focus on….and what we focus on often determines our state of mind, actions, decisions, etc.  ‘Where our focus goes, energy flows and things grow.’ You focus on negative stuff, it grows. You focus on happy or helpful things, likewise they will grow in your life. It isn’t saying the bad doesn’t exist, just focusing on the good makes life better.

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Accidents, coincidences, and serendipities are the disguises I use to sneak magic and miracles into your life without arousing suspicion that the game is rigged, the dragons are fake, and you’re about to hit the biggest “home run” of your life. Just keep focusing on what you want and move ahead. Now, please don’t ruin this for anyone – The Universe http://www.tut.com

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The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire not things we fear.-Brian Tracy

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5. Questions – Questions set our moods, our focus, our beliefs and our actions. We all ask ourselves questions each and every day, all day, whether we realize it or not. They say we have up to 60,000 thoughts running through our minds each day, and many of these are questions. Are they good questions? Are they useful? Do they empower us?

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Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone’s face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions. I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come.-Henri Nouwen

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Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.-Voltaire

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6. Belief – Your beliefs are everything. Beliefs make up your personality, they create habits which lead to your lifestyle, your relationships, your career, etc. Beliefs can limit you or they can help you excel and grow. The meaning we assign to all sorts of things are related to beliefs.

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Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. Belief creates the actual fact.-William James

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It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.-Muhammad Ali

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7. Faith – Have faith in yourself, in your gifts, have faith in others, have faith in our World. Have faith with your spirituality or religion. Have faith that things will work out, that you have all that you need inside you right now. Have faith that amazing things can happen. Sometimes we just have to let go and have faith.

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Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.-Martin Luther King, Jr.

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You’ll see it when you believe it.-Wayne Dyer

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8. Happiness/Joy – One of the best lessons I learned on my own, even though my parents often told me, is to just be happy. Don’t wait for it, don’t look for it, and don’t expect that when you buy/accomplish/get something that you’ll be happy then. Be happy now and always. If you’re happy and experience joy, your decisions, actions, and life will reflect it. People are drawn to happy people. Challenges will come into our life regardless, but if we have joy and happiness, the challenges are a little easier to deal with and recover from.

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The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature. –Marcus Aurelius

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Research has shown that the best way to be happy is to make each day happy.-Deepak Chopra

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9. Vocabulary – the words you consistently use to describe your life, emotions and sensations—immediately change how you think, feel and live. (if you want to change your life, Adjust your habitual vocabulary)

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Language shapes our behavior and each word we use is imbued with multitudes of personal meaning. The right words spoken in the right way can bring us love, money and respect, while the wrong words—or even the right words spoken in the wrong way—can lead to a country to war. We must carefully orchestrate our speech if we want to achieve our goals and bring our dreams to fruition.—Dr. Andrew Newberg, Words Can Change Your Brain

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10. Kindness –We are here to experience life together. Part of life is contributing back, compassion, love and kindness. How can we work with/play with/be with others in this world if there isn’t kindness. The Golden Rule or law of reciprocity is the principle of treating others as one would wish to be treated oneself. Multiple religions discuss this and atheists also often embrace it. Kindness is necessary for any role in life, for any moment in life. Kindness is the expression of mature ‘agape’ love.

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This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness. – Dalai Lama

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Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. – Lao Tzu

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(BONUS- #11. WHY? Ask why you’re doing ‘it’, whatever ‘it’ is….. determine the why and the how will work out just fine….)

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Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

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Want to form better habits?

Good for new years’ resolutions!

Talks to form better habits
http://www.ted.com/playlists/321/

A Neuroscientist And A Psychologist On How Our Ancient Brains Work In A High-Tech World

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GUEST HOST: DEREK MCGINTY

A woman uses her smart phone as she walks on 47th Street November 13, 2014 in New York. AFP PHOTO/Don Emmert (Photo credit should read DON EMMERT/AFP/Getty Images)

We all do it. Walking down the street–a quick check of the phone to see who emailed. Watching television–why not send out a tweet, too. Sitting at dinner with family–it will take only a second to read that text. Even when we know we should resist the temptation, it’s so hard to ignore technology. We pay for it in half-completed tasks, near accidents, and disjointed conversations. Why is this? It turns out our brains are not very good at driving away distraction, and technology has only aggravated it.

Did you know the blue light from your phones ‘fight’ or stop melatonin (Melatonin is a hormone that helps you fall asleep.) So when you look at your phone before or while in bed, you may be resetting your melatonin for ‘awake mode’, making it harder to sleep properly. Suggestion: stop looking at your phone 30 minutes or more before bed and don’t look at it until you wake up in the morning!

Guest host Derek McGinty talks to neuroscientist Dr. Adam Gazzaley and psychologist Dr. Larry Rosen about our ancient brains in a high-tech world.

Guests

• Dr. Adam Gazzaley professor of neurology, physiology, and psychiatry at UC San Francisco; founding director, the Neuroscience Imaging Center; director, the Gazzaley Lab, a cognitive neuroscience laboratory.
• Dr. Larry Rosen professor and past chair of the psychology department, California State University, Dominguez Hills

http://thedianerehmshow.org/shows/2016-10-19/a-neuroscientist-and-a-psychologist-on-how-our-ancient-brains-work-in-a-high-tech-world

Frey Freyday – Focus

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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Focus – [foh-kuh s] – to concentrate: to focus one’s thoughts. a central point, as of attraction, attention, or activity:

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It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.-Aristotle Onassis

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Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them.-Jack Canfield

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Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.-Alexander Graham Bell

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Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life.-Eckhart Tolle

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One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular.-Tony Robbins

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You’ve just got to focus on excellence and try not to be distracted by the news and the rumors and the absurdities of the stories that were coming out.-James Daly

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Enlightened leadership is spiritual if we understand spirituality not as some kind of religious dogma or ideology but as the domain of awareness where we experience values like truth, goodness, beauty, love and compassion, and also intuition, creativity, insight and focused attention.-Deepak Chopra

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Accidents, coincidences, and serendipities are the disguises I use to sneak magic and miracles into your life without arousing suspicion that the game is rigged, the dragons are fake, and you’re about to hit the biggest “home run” of your life. Just keep focusing on what you want and move ahead. Now, please don’t ruin this for anyone – The Universe http://www.tut.com

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The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire not things we fear.-Brian Tracy

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Word to Live By:

Focus – Where focus goes, energy flows. And where energy flows, whatever you’re focusing on grows.

I think that most of us “know” that our life is controlled by what we focus on. However, most of us don’t often consciously try to change our patterns about our daily focus. Most of us probably aren’t aware of where we put our focus.

All the time, we have negativity, conflict, hostility, resistance, loss and scarcity around us. The news and media seems to spend their time and focus on this, and much of society gets swept away in this bundle of nervous energy, stress, and worry.

I know a few people in my life that are loving, caring, bright people but they get swept up in this worry and negativity. When I see them the conversation often leads to, “Did you see the sad news about…..”, and they remind me of something in the news about crime, downtrends, or something negative. I think we all do this from time to time. Is that useful?

But that’s not the whole picture.

Everyday there are good people, improvements, good events, uptrends, kindness, success, celebrations, laughter, and opportunity. Because humans are wired the way we are, this sort of thing doesn’t make the headlines. We don’t hear about these things nearly as much.

First, don’t watch the news. I’m not saying don’t skim headlines and be aware of current events – a quick scroll over headlines is often necessary. However there is very little benefit from sitting and watching local or national news, in my opinion. How is it useful that you sit and get bombarded by the telecast that includes the latest political conflict, crime sprees, fires, natural disasters and such? Gee, let’s watch that and then try to go tackle the day in a positive, upbeat manner. Do you feel empowered after the news? Likely not.

In our personal lives it’s the same thing. Our jobs have points of resistance and conflict. Management may ‘pressure’ the workers. There may be hostility. Some people highlight the negative no matter how well things are going. Some of your friends may only care about putting in a day’s work with the most basic, minimum effort just to get by.

What if you want to improve yourself? What if you have goals? What if you want to contribute, help others, succeed or otherwise accomplish something? Does the negativity of the media help? Do those naysayers and negative friends help?

Race car driving coaches teach drivers to focus on the desire path ahead, not the wall. When we drive on the roads, we don’t focus on the telephone poles, we look to where we want to go. Similarly in life we need to focus on the path, the mindset, the energy that we want in our future. Both choices area available to us each day.

I believe for happiness, success, peace of mind, fulfillment – each day we need to focus on where we want to go, our goals, our values, what we have (loved ones, accomplishments, memories) not on what we fear or what we lack. When we are in a state of uncertainty next time, let’s try to interrupt the pattern of scarcity or fear, then shift our focus toward where we want to go, what we have, and what we can do and furthermore consider what actions we can take in that direction.

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Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….