Category Archives: decision

Frey Freyday – Top Ten Words

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Hello – I am breaking from the normal format and process for a moment. Sometimes we can benefit from reflection and a different perspective. Also, we all love those “Top Ten” lists that everyone seems to offer.

This is a list of the Top Ten Words to Live By, in my opinion. I think in different situations, one can argue a different order here but in general, my list:

 

  1. State of mind – No matter what, your state of mind is everything. Making decisions, taking actions, interacting with others, thinking by ourselves, happiness, life – our state of mind affects all things for better or worse. In the same moment, the state of mind can change everything.

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way, to choose one’s own state of mind.-Victor E. Frankl

  1. Decision – the decision to act, to think a certain way, to do or not do….making a decision can literally make an instant and huge impact. A decision can determine your destiny.

“What I’ve come to realize is that the single most important decision in life is this: Are you committed to being happy, no matter what happens to you?” asks Tony Robbins. “To put this another way, will you commit to enjoying life not only when everything goes your way but also when everything goes against you, when injustice happens, when someone screws you over, when you lose something or someone you love, or when nobody seems to understand or appreciation you?”

  1. Action – Talk is cheap. Theroad to hell is paved with good  One action starts change. Consistent action builds habits, persistence and a pipeline of success. Massive action produces massive results. I believe that action is everything. Dumb or smart. Evil or well-meaning. Good ideas are all fine and good but without action, they are nothing.

Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.-Bradley Whitford

Action is the foundational key to all success.-Pablo Picasso

 –

  1. Focus – In this world there is good stuff, empowering stuff, upsetting stuff, angry stuff – all sorts of stuff for us to focus on….and what we focus on often determines our state of mind, actions, decisions, etc.  ‘Where our focus goes, energy flows and things grow.’ You focus on negative stuff, it grows. You focus on happy or helpful things, likewise they will grow in your life. It isn’t saying the bad doesn’t exist, just focusing on the good makes life better.

Accidents, coincidences, and serendipities are the disguises I use to sneak magic and miracles into your life without arousing suspicion that the game is rigged, the dragons are fake, and you’re about to hit the biggest “home run” of your life. Just keep focusing on what you want and move ahead. Now, please don’t ruin this for anyone – The Universe http://www.tut.com

The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire not things we fear.-Brian Tracy

  1. Questions – Questions set our moods, our focus, our beliefs and our actions. We all ask ourselves questions each and every day, all day, whether we realize it or not. They say we have up to 60,000 thoughts running through our minds each day, and many of these are questions. Are they good questions? Are they useful? Do they empower us?

Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone’s face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions. I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come.-Henri Nouwen

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.-Voltaire

  1. Belief – Your beliefs are everything. Beliefs make up your personality, they create habits which lead to your lifestyle, your relationships, your career, etc. Beliefs can limit you or they can help you excel and grow. The meaning we assign to all sorts of things are related to beliefs.

Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. Belief creates the actual fact.-William James

It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.-Muhammad Ali

  1. Faith – Have faith in yourself, in your gifts, have faith in others, have faith in our World. Have faith with your spirituality or religion. Have faith that things will work out, that you have all that you need inside you right now. Have faith that amazing things can happen. Sometimes we just have to let go and have faith.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.-Martin Luther King, Jr.

You’ll see it when you believe it.-Wayne Dyer

  1. Happiness/Joy – One of the best lessons I learned on my own, even though my parents often told me, is to just be happy. Don’t wait for it, don’t look for it, and don’t expect that when you buy/accomplish/get something that you’ll be happy then. Be happy now and always. If you’re happy and experience joy, your decisions, actions, and life will reflect it. People are drawn to happy people. Challenges will come into our life regardless, but if we have joy and happiness, the challenges are a little easier to deal with and recover from.

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature. –Marcus Aurelius

Research has shown that the best way to be happy is to make each day happy.-Deepak Chopra

  1. Vocabulary – the words you consistently use to describe your life, emotions and sensations—immediately change how you think, feel and live. (if you want to change your life, Adjust your habitual vocabulary)


Language shapes our behavior and each word we use is imbued with multitudes of personal meaning. The right words spoken in the right way can bring us love, money and respect, while the wrong words—or even the right words spoken in the wrong way—can lead to a country to war. We must carefully orchestrate our speech if we want to achieve our goals and bring our dreams to fruition.—Dr. Andrew Newberg, Words Can Change Your Brain

  1. Kindness –We are here to experience life together. Part of life is contributing back, compassion, love and kindness. How can we work with/play with/be with others in this world if there isn’t kindness. The Golden Rule or law of reciprocity is the principle of treating others as one would wish to be treated oneself. Multiple religions discuss this and atheists also often embrace it. Kindness is necessary for any role in life, for any moment in life. Kindness is the expression of mature ‘agape’ love.

This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness. – Dalai Lama

..

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. – Lao Tzu

(BONUS- #11. WHY? Ask why you’re doing ‘it’, whatever ‘it’ is….. determine the why and the how will work out just fine….)

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

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Frey Freyday – Decision

frey_freydays

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

de·ci·sion-[dəˈsiZHən]-NOUNa conclusion or resolution reached after consideration

Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come. Robert H. Schuller

In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing. Theodore Roosevelt

The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward. Amelia Earhart

Never make a decision when you are upset, sad, jealous or in love. Mario Teguh

Sometimes you make the right decision, sometimes you make the decision right. Phil McGraw

Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen. Ralph Waldo Emerson

WORD TO LIVE BY: Decision

Sometimes we can feel helpless, even hopeless. Maybe it’s just stagnant or even complacent. Maybe we think that we’re stuck in some way.

We have the ability and the power to change our lives with just one decision. The power of decision is the power to change.

If you study anyone ‘great’ whether it is a loved one you look up to or someone in the ‘public eye’ that has some sort of success…..they made a decision (or a series of decisions) to get where they are. Often when interviewed, successful people look back in their lives and can often referenced one or a few decisions where they simply said, “I’m going to change…”

If you look at people’s conditions, that is not a determining factor whether they become successful. In other words, there are people from all walks of life, races, housing conditions, income levels, economic levels…people with different intelligence and social skills…where the conditions of life are all different; some poor, physical challenges, dysfunctional families, etc. – yet they succeed. (and here success can be anything in life, not just wealth, fame, celebrity)

They succeed because they made a decision – and ultimately it is the decision- not the conditions of their lives- that determines success.

Decision means, in this case, ‘a real and conscious choice’ typically with specifics and emotions attached!

Important point: make decisions in the right frame of mind; not from scarcity, jealousy, fear, hate, etc. Make decisions from love, giving, abundance, boldness, courage.

Decide what you want. Be specific. Decide WHY you want it.

Attach emotions to drive you. Take action. Notice where your action works and where it does not, and adjust, be flexible. Be bold, be persistent.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

 

 

Make THE decision in the right state of mind

Here is a great video that can help anyone with a tough decision, a tough situation, facing a situation or challenge that brings fear.

We all have to go outside a comfort level, we need to handle things without fear.

Our story can empower us or limit us.

http://getrmt.com/v1.php

What’s your excuse?

LiveLikeGateOpen

In one way or another most of us have an excuse about some part of our lives. Maybe the excuse comes in the form of a limiting belief. Either way, we have them.

Some excuses are on the surface – those that we say and share with others.

Other excuses are deep down. Maybe we know of them but keep them to ourselves – maybe we don’t even face them – or want to……

We have excuses about work, love, life, money, relationships, health……

What are your deep excuses and beliefs? Be honest. It isn’t necessarily fun to think about but we need to do so.

Facing them and addressing them is a great step to take – right now.

Here’s a short article that addresses this subject well….

————————————————–

What’s Your “Secret Excuse”? by Frank Rumbauskas <frank@dontcoldcall.com>

It seems like everyone has mental blocks that keep them from succeeding.

A few years back I began using the term “Secret Excuse” in my programs.

A Secret Excuse is, very simply, any excuse you make in your head that gives you a phony reason not to get out there and succeed.

Before I reveal the most common Secret Excuse for salespeople, here are the most common excuses people have for not getting off their butts and making something great of themselves:

– I wasn’t born into the right family
– I’m not “connected”
– I don’t have a college education
– “It can’t be done”
– Why hasn’t someone else done it already?
– I don’t have enough money
– I have a family to support

And so on and so on…

—————-

First – honestly identify at least one ‘excuse’ – a deep secret one.

Second – write a question that forces your mind to think otherwise – FOR EXAMPLE: if you think that you’re too old, you could ask yourself a question something like, “How does my age, wisdom, and experience give me an edge? Why does my age, wisdom and experience help me achieve my goals? In what ways do my age, experience and wisdom help me in my life?” – THEN try to answer these – write down ways that your age helps you, benefits you, and find positive references, achievements and such from the past. Do this often.

Third – repeat, and make sure you’re being honest with yourself!

Words To Live By: Certainty

(This is one of a part of a series of WORDS TO LIVE BY. This series grew out of a workbook I first made for my young daughters and discussed at the dinner table. These Words include values, good ideas, and Words to aspire to….and learn from….enjoy!)

certainty

Certainty. Do you recall the last time that you were certain about something….and you knew it was right, and you were right? Maybe it was at work, maybe it was with your family or a relationship – for different people it is different – it may have come from your head, or maybe your heart…..but you felt Certain.

When you meet someone that is certain, you can tell right? Often the person that is most certain is most influential in the situation. Certainty is much like confidence. It comes across in someone’s way of acting, their attitude and words.

Think about a situation where you felt certain. Picture it in your mind. How did you feel? Feel now how you were when you were certain. Stand up. Go ahead and stand up…….feel certain. ….really certain. There is a calmness, coolness about it perhaps? You feel confident. You probably feel relaxed – although energized too. What is your posture and physiology like?

Stand as if you were certain! Are your shoulders sagging or are you standing tall? How is your breathing?

Now stand as if you are Absolutely Certain! How would you stand? Breathe? What is your posture, your physiology? What is your appearance? How are you talking? How are you holding your head?

Certainty is achieved from our posture, physiology, and attitude.- your state of mind, your state of your body. You own the situation, right? You own the moment.

Tony Robbins has a list of what he calls the SIX HUMAN NEEDS. Certainty/Comfort, Variety, Significance, Connection/Love, Growth, and Contribution.

Tony discusses Certainty this way – We all want comfort, right? And much of this comfort comes from certainty. Of course there is no ABSOLUTE certainty, but we want certainty the car will start, the water will flow from the tap when we turn it on and the currency we use will hold its value. We search for certainty in other parts of our life. At one time there appeared to be certainty in some industries and jobs.

Sometimes I find certainty in other ways…..I don’t know who told me once but they told me ‘Nothing in life is permanent, no problem is permanent, it is passing; your Soul is permanent. You are permanent.  Nothing is so inescapable that you can’t move on….”

Knowing that ‘this too shall pass’ helps me ‘shake off’ something bad and I feel a little relieved, calmer, and more certain. Look at the big picture. Look at other – other people have recovered from this and worse. I also think about the good things in my life. I focus on what is working and I feel more certain. I look back in my life and recall how I overcame other challenges, I look at my successes, I look at my loved ones and support network. We are not alone. I personally believe in a Creator that is benevolent. I don’t pretend to understand or label but I believe in something.

We all have this power, this source, this strength inside of each of us. We’ve all felt it from time to time in our lives. It often feels like the ‘real person’, the person at the core of ourselves. When we access this part of us, we operate from a foundation of certainty, don’t we? But it does take a moment for each of us to access it  – being calm, focused, even meditation….. but the point is that YOU can access the certainty inside. You can reach in and grab it – you don’t have to look outside.

Extraordinary people bring certainty into uncertain environments. Whether it be in sports, business, or even being a great parent, in times of uncertainty people are drawn to those who’ve somehow found a way to find an internal certainty that can guide them. That certainty is not that you have all the answers, but rather that there’s certainty inside you that, together with your loved ones, you can find the answer and move forward.

Lastly, having a Vision in mind is also key. If you have that END IN MIND – the dream, the vision of what you want, if you spend time visualizing it and really feeling it – feeling as if it is already happening NOW, then you will be able to access certainty. If you know where you’re going and you know that you’re not going to give up until you get there, then it’s OK when you encounter big and little challenges in life. You’re certain that you’ll reach the end and you’re certain things are working out. The path may be not as you expected but no path it.

Focus on asking the right questions to yourself and focus on what you say to yourself. Are your words and self-talk building up or breaking down certainty in you?

Like you, I’ve had successes and also been in tough jambs. There were times when I thought my life was over financially and I was embarrassed, stressed, whatever. But as I look back, in the big picture, that was just part of the journey. Those things passed. Other things will pass, I am certain of it! My real friends are still around. That ‘real Jim’ is still inside me. Struggles bring strength. Strength brings certainty.

Signs a big dream is about to happen….

celebrate

When you aren’t where you want to be, when things aren’t exactly as you want them now, we need to act/feel/become like it is happening now.

…..Signs a big dream is about to happen……..What am I saying?

When your dream is about to come true – or when you want something to happen, you can benefit GREATLY by acting AS IF IT IS ALREADY TRUE.

I have done it and it does work, it does help!

Think about what you want, think about how you want it to be, then act as if it is already that way, that you already have “IT”.

Write a letter to your friends to say “hey, it happened, I have IT and I’m so relieved and happy. I really appreciate your support as a friend, your friendship as I worked to make IT happen. I feel like I can do anything, I’m so happy. Again, thanks for being there!” (Send it now or hold it?)

Write your boss a nice letter of gratitude saying you appreciate the years of employment, income, and support but now you are able to earn enough income from another source and you can leave your job. Be nice, be appreciative, without all of our experiences, we wouldn’t be where we are and you wouldn’t now have “IT” in your hands.

Regularly visualize the after-party. Plan a party. OK….so you got “IT”. Now let’s celebrate with your loved ones. What is the party like? What is the room like? Music? Food? Who is there? What is everyone wearing? See them smiling, congratulating you, see you celebrating with everyone and being grateful. How good does it feel? You can now pay them back a little, you can pay for some fun for them now. It feels great to celebrate and treat friends to a good time, doesn’t it?

Sometimes you speak and behave as if it is already true….as if you already have it….as if you already feel that way.

And think….now that you already have “IT”….you also already know what your next goal is…..

Feel those feelings – when you have “IT” how are you feeling ? Relieved….Certain…Confident…Happy….Excited….Free…Independent….

Everyday, do something, take action, make an effort towards “IT”.

Everyday celebrate out loud and secretly about having “IT”. Practice. How happy will you feel?
Will you be jumping? Are you a fist pumper? Do you run and hug the nearest person? How are you celebrating?

Practice celebrating!

(make sure you clearly know what “IT” is.)

.

(partial credit is due to Mike Dooley at www.tut.com)

Here comes the Boom

inspireAlong with my beautiful wife and two great daughters, I just watched the movie, “Here Comes the Boom” with Kevin James

I find it pretty cool how Kevin James and other writers and actors in Hollywood can offer a movie that provides humor, insight, fart-type jokes, and inspiration.

Yes, I said inspiration.

In the movie Kevin James plays a teacher who decides to fight in the world of MMA to raise money to save the school’s music department. Sounds good, right?

But it is more – the teacher inspires others around him. Others inspire him. He raises the bar for himself. Others see it and they follow. They raise the bar and try to do better. Sure he gets some push back and there are naysayers and doubters. But the teacher, Kevin James, keeps moving ahead with the goal in mind.

He pushes himself beyond his comfort zone. He grew, became more confident, had focus, had clarity, gained more confidence, built momentum, built better habits.

He combined a good strategy with good emotions. He had friends that supported him, he had a coach to keep him focused and to help him stay focused.

He changes his own beliefs about him. He sees the world around him differently. His identity changes for the better.

The movie may not be the deepest movie but it was a good message to my kids, and yes, even me.

Forget the movie for a moment.

Ask yourself this, what do you that inspires others?

What can you do to inspire others?

Movies are able to offer dramatic examples of inspiration. We all would like to be able to be the hero, to go fight in the MMA, for instance, save the music program and be an inspiration to a whole school.

But it is just as or more important to inspire each other each day.

People are watching you each day – co-workers, kids, neighbors, friends, and strangers. People watch you and observe what you do and what you don’t do. You’re setting an example whether you know it or not.

Maybe you’re not fighting the guy in the MMA ring but you’re able to do something else to inspire others.

Maybe caring for others, teaching, giving, contributing, writing, taking a change, taking a class, following the dream.

Get up and take action.

Get up and inspire someone by doing, saying, or being something you want to be.

Inspire others because of all those people in your life, alive and dead, that have given to you, supported you, and inspired you. Inspire others so that you can look back on your life when you’re on your deathbed and know that you did all that you could.

Here’s to inspiration.

Thanks Kevin

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