Frey Freyday – Creativity

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

An essential aspect of creativity is not being afraid to fail. –Edwin Land

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Without change there is no innovation, creativity, or incentive for improvement. Those who initiate change will have a better opportunity to manage the change that is inevitable. –William Pollard

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Creativity is putting your imagination to work, and it’s produced the most extraordinary results in human culture.-Ken Robinson

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Passion is one great force that unleashes creativity, because if you’re passionate about something, then you’re more willing to take risks.-Yo-Yo Ma

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Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn’t really do it, they just saw something. It seemed obvious to them after a while. That’s because they were able to connect experiences they’ve had and synthesize new things.-Steve Jobs

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Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.-Erich Fromm

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Your ego can become an obstacle to your work. If you start believing in your greatness, it is the death of your creativity.-Marina Abramovic

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WORD TO LIVE BY:

Creativity [kree-ey-tiv-i-tee, kree-uh-] -the ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like, and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc.; originality, progressiveness, or imagination
Creativity is so alive in children. We begin to lose it as we get older not because we no longer have the abilities, but because we are more concerned about making a mistake, taking a risk, failing, and what others may think.

In our society today, we do not encourage failing, mistakes, and certain forms of creativity. Most of us stay in our own realm of comfort. It is easier to maintain than to change. However, all of these items make it harder to be creative.

Think about creativity. You can imagine something specific, or you can visualize a whole life time. You can then turn it into a tangible, touchable, feasible reality. It is amazing. Pop culture examples include; 1.) Walt Disney- one man had an idea, now there are huge, dynamic, creative parks, movies, and media worldwide. 2.) the Harry Potter series – the author had an idea, the idea went to paper, then to more books, then to movies, now amusement park rides. 3.) Our founding fathers had a vision of a country free of tyranny and one that gave freedom and rights. It was a discussion, then a theory, then written, now a country.

Anyone can be creative. One thought can build a cure, a building, a way to reach someone, a way to connect or help. We must be willing to surrender the ego, surrender worrying about failures and mistakes and just go for it and take action.

There’s a link between creativity and positive emotions and, ultimately, happiness. Researchers have found that people are more likely to have a creative breakthrough if they were happy the day before. Creativity is less likely to be present with negative emotions such as fear, anger, sadness, and anxiety; it is positively associated with positive emotions such as joy, love, and curiosity.

Positive emotions and creativity make us feel interested in the world around us. The ability to be fascinated and allow ourselves to explore and discover makes us feel open and alive. It’s also what draws us to learn new skills, perspectives, and ideas—resources that we can draw on to solve life’s problems. This boosts our resilience and our satisfaction with life—both part of the equation for overall happiness.

Sources:
Positivity, by Barbara L. Fredrickson, Ph. D.
The 6 Myths of Creativity, Fast Company
Psychology Today

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By”(WTLB).
Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally,sometimes accidentally.
..So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from..
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BONUS- Ted Talk – the Source of Creativity – We want to be creative but channeling our creative impulses is no small feat. Is creativity something we are born with or can we learn it? In this hour, TED speakers examine the mystery of creativity.

http://www.npr.org/programs/ted-radio-hour/?showDate=2015-09-25

How to Reprogram Your Mind

A great video worth sharing….

FROM Brendon Burchard – and the High Performance Academy

“The first thing you have to do in order to improve your mind is to take total control of your attention and notice: Where are my thoughts right now? Are they positive or negative? Are they helping me feel alive, engaged, and grateful in this moment? Am I present with my current experience or trapped in the past? Are my thoughts supporting me or are they automatically coming up negative and self-protective in ways that are not advancing my life? Just to be aware, to be conscious of what’s going on in your body, in your sense of feeling and emotion now, this is the stuff of becoming mature, connected, and happy.”

From “How to Reprogram Your Mind”:

CLICK HERE

http://tmblr.co/ZTb1Dv1Kd3jTo

Is your business listed here? Make it better

Is your business listed here? Maybe you can learn a little what you can do to make it better?
· The E-Myth Real Estate Brokerage: Why Most Real Estate Brokerages Don’t Work and What to Do About It

• · The E-Myth Accountant: Why Most Accounting Practices Don’t Work and What to Do About It
• ·The E-Myth Attorney: Why Most Legal Practices Don’t Work and What to Do About It
• ·The E-Myth Insurance Store Why Most Insurance Businesses Don’t Work and What to Do About It
• ·The E-Myth Physician: Why Most Medical Practices Don’t Work and What to Do About It
• ·The E-Myth Financial Advisor: Why Most Advisory Firms Don’t Work and What to Do About It
• ·The E-Myth Chiropractor Why Most Chiropractic Practices Don’t Work and What to Do About It
• ·The E-Myth Landscape Contractor: Why Most Landscape Contractors’ Businesses Don’t Work and What to Do About It
• ·The E-Myth Architect: Why Most Architectural Firms Don’t Work and What to Do About It
• The E-Myth Optometrist: Why Most Optometrist Practices Don’t Work and What to Do About It
• ·The E-Myth Contractor: Why Most Contractors’ Businesses Don’t Work and What to Do About It
• ·The E-Myth Dentist: Why Most Dental Practices Don’t Work and What to Do About It

· FYI Only – I‘ve read a few of Michael Gerber’s books and had friends tell me some of the above are good. Some things you may even already know, but good refreshers… Good luck.

Benefits of meditation

Meditation Can Help Manage Anxiety, Depression And Pain
by ALLISON AUBREY npr.org
January 07, 2014 3:47 PM

People are increasingly turning to mindfulness mediation to manage health issues, and meditation classes are being offered through schools and hospitals.

But doctors have questioned whether this ancient Eastern practice really offers measurable health benefits. A fresh review of the evidence should help sort that out.

Meditation does help manage anxiety, depression and pain, according to the 47 studies analyzed in JAMA Internal Medicine on Monday, but does not appear to help with other problems, including substance abuse, sleep and weight.

“We have moderate confidence that mindfulness practices have a beneficial effect,” wrote the author of the paper, Dr. Madhav Goyal of Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, in an email to Shots. He says the positive effects on anxiety, depression and pain can be modest, but are seen across multiple studies.

“It was surprising to see that with so little training [about 2.5 hours of meditation practice per week] we were still seeing consistent effects,” Goyal wrote.

One type of mindfulness training that was used in many of the research studies is called Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (or MBSR). It’s typically taught in eight sessions.

Think of it as Buddhist meditation “but without the Buddhism,” says Jon Kabat-Zinn, the father of MBSR. It’s completely secular.

The focus of mindfulness meditation is to train the brain to stay in the moment. To do this, practitioners are taught to let go of the regrets of the past as well as anxieties about the future.

This study reviewed earlier research that evaluated the effectiveness of meditation for managing a whole range of medical conditions — from breast cancer, irritable bowel syndrome and fibromyalgia to depression.

With diseases like breast cancer, meditation is not used as a treatment for the disease. It’s supportive care designed to help a person deal with the stress that comes with cancer.

In one breast cancer study, researchers enrolled 163 women with stage 1 or stage 2 breast cancer. The women were randomized to either an 8-week mindfulness-based stress reduction class or to other kinds of more standard supportive care.

Techniques taught during the meditation class included visualizations to help shift attention away from thoughts that cause anxiety.

One technique is called the body scan. This is where you lie back on a mat and the teacher has you check in with each part of your body

You’re told to relax all the tension in your jaws, then your neck, your shoulders, and so on, down the body. (Here’s an audio link to the body scan.)

The point is stop the mind from wandering off and to connect with your body. Do your toes feel colder than the rest of your body? Are you feeling resistance in any part of the body? The teacher guides participants to tune in.

After four months, the women who meditated experienced significant improvements in what the researchers called quality of life and coping outcomes, compared to the women in other groups.

Clearly, meditation is not for everyone. It’s a discipline that needs daily time and attention.

And in many of the studies meditation was no more effective than medications and other non-medical treatments, including exercise.

In addition, the meta-analysis found little evidence that meditation programs could help treat substance abuse, sleep or weight issues.

But the researchers concluded that meditation has no harmful side effects. And it’s free and something people can easily do at home.

Being rich is all about having the right habits

Being rich is all about having the right habits. That’s the message from Tom Corley, who spent five years observing how rich and poor people lived, worked, and even slept. Then, Corley wrote about his research in a book called “Rich Habits: The Daily Success Habits of Wealthy Individuals.”

Here’s what he found:

First: Be an early bird. Because among people making six-figures a year, about half wake up at least three hours before they have to be at work. Then, Corley says they use that extra morning time to focus on self-improvement like reading and exercising, because those things help them be more productive at work.
Another daily habit that can make you rich:Don’t gossip. According to Corley’s research, wealthy people are a whopping 14 times less likely to say they spread gossip, compared to people earning less than $30,000 a year.

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Also: Spend less time using the Internet. Corley says most people who struggle with money spend at least an hour a day surfing the Web, or watching TV. But rich people are HALF as likely to go online every day. Instead, they spend that extra hour connecting with others in the “real world,” doing things like networking, socializing, and volunteering.

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Another helpful habit: Make more “to-do” lists. Because wealthy people say they cross off 70% percent of the tasks on their to-do list every day – including short-term and long-term goals, meaning, rich people love getting stuff done.

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Finally: According to the book, wealthy people are calorie counters. They generally limit alcoholic consumption, keep their junk food snacks to less than 300 calories per day, and weigh less. And it makes sense that successful people would weight less, 75% of executives in a recent survey said that being overweight is a “serious career impediment.” Overweight people are 3,000 times more likely to get passed over for a promotion. And fair or not, overweight applicants get turned down for jobs more than any other group.

http://www.tesh.com

Feeling stressed, tense, worried?

You know, we’ve all been there in one way or another: we’ve been tense and focused on money, maybe stressed, maybe short with our spouse, maybe short with our kids….and in that moment when we’re stressing about money, we’re missing the world around us.

You know what I mean when I say “That awful feeling in the pit of your stomach because you feel like you have to worry about running out of money at the end of the month.”

I’ve been there, then back on “top”, then stressed again, a few times in my life.

I heard a funny thing the other day; someone was saying how they thought ‘rich people’ always think about money and ‘rich people’ are all shallow.

Maybe some are shallow, but in my experience and from what I read, when you had enough money to pay the bills and to live in a decent way, you’re NOT thinking about money much at all. When you have enough to cover the bills, you can think about fun things, about things that you WANT to do in your job and career, and things that you can do for or contribute to others – you can choose to enjoy life a little more.

When I was struggling with income and bills, and when I observe others that have the same struggle to pay bills and meet their obligations, they think about money all day long.

There is a great book that I highly recommend called “Bridges out of Poverty”. It helps explain how people struggling in poverty are constantly thinking about how they are paying the bills, food on the table, tires on the car, utility bills, etc.

Even if we aren’t at the poverty level, we can sometimes have some traits of the poverty mindset……we worry about money, about paying the mortgage, about our jobs, etc. This never creates a good feeling inside, does it?

Again, as someone that has been back and forth, here is some wisdom that I’ve learned from a few others and I believe that it really can help:

• Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want – instead of focusing on the bills and lack of cash, focus on the things that you really want, the freedom, peace of mind, better health, better relationships, enjoying life, security for your family, etc.

• Watch your self-talk- we all talk to ourselves and ask ourselves questions throughout the day. There is enough negativity in the world, don’t add to it by bringing yourself down. I was someone who beat myself up for many things and once in a while still do – if you do also, STOP. Reflect on accomplishments, look for references why you’re good at something, ask yourself questions like “Why do I deserve this?” and “Why am I so lucky?” instead of things like “Why can’t I earn more money” or ‘why is this such a struggle’ or ‘why don’t I ever win anything?”

• Have a vision – ok maybe your life isn’t where you want it to be now and you want to improve – almost everyone does….create a vision. It doesn’t have to be a major complicated thing – something as simple as some bullet points or a paragraph or two is fine – create a simple story of you as you want to be – make the story in present tense as if you already have it – as if you are already “THERE” and you’re looking back on today, when you are struggling. Make sure that in the story you talk about how you’re proud of the steps you took, the hard work, the good attitude, and how you changed for the better. Remember, tell the ideal story of your life as if it is already done!

• Enjoy the present, live in the moment – when we worry about the future or fret over the past, we miss moments and experiences right in front of us. I recall a time when my wife and I had time alone and I sat there worrrying about something that never even happened. Another time I recall worrying about something and basically ignoring my daughters when I had a free day with them. We all lost and nothing was gained. Take a moment to look around, be aware, and live today’s life. Things can happen in a moment. Look for miracles. You gotta celebrate life’s moments no matter what. There is no rehearsal.

• Here’s something that can be the toughest for any of us – do the above each and everyday. We can all do things for a while or on occasion, or here and there. We have to ask the right questions, focus on the good stuff, reflect on our vision, and enjoy the present every day! We all must take action – even if they are just baby steps each day. Ask, ‘what thing, regardless how big or small, can I do today?” You don’t have to spend long on it – but at least 5 -10 minutes. Can you turn off the TV, put down the phone, or walk away from the computer or ipad for 10 minutes if it makes you better?

Remember, people with much less smarts, ability, education, opportunity have done great things, contributed, made money, helped others, and been successful , you have the ability, you have the power inside, you just need to take action.

http://www.onewebstrategy.com

😉

RE: Ideas to better engage your clients!

RE: Ideas to better engage your clients!

Hello!  I am constantly reading good books and trying to stay up on the latest trends, etc.

Recently I came across something and I’m sharing it with several area firms and I wanted to include you in on it too.

First, it is not my main line of business, although I do assist clients in many ways, I do not proclaim to be a retail expert of any kind. Maybe I can help you in some ways, we can discuss. Otherwise, this is just a FYI.

Regardless, here is a quick summary of 3 that may lead to another idea or two…

Burberry in London – The main Burberry store in London is a cutting edge store that uses existing technology to improve client interaction. Maybe you can learn from some of their strategies.

Outside the store, there are cameras that use facial recognition software so that they can recognize clients and relay information to the retail associates inside – they can greet them when they walk in! This technology is currently not being used outside because clarification is needed on privacy law in the public domain.

Inside the store, this technology is useable. First, the walls are ‘tiled’ with very large TV flat screen TVs that are located all around the store. Either by that method or others, when someone enters, the technology identifies the client and accesses the client’s cumulative purchases from Burberry. It sends sales clerks suggestions for future purchases and past purchases. It automatically then creates a custom presentation on the walls of the store showing these items – then it pulls items from an algorithm about future suggested purchases. When there are multiple clients in the store, there is a slideshow of sorts that presents the cumulative history and possible future purchases for all of the clients.

When a client moves or picks an item off the rack/shelf, it triggers the RFD in the item which then triggers a custom presentation on the nearest wall monitor(s) – example, you pick up a raincoat off the rack – on the wall monitors it shows different models wearing the raincoat, shows craftsmen making the raincoat, and other accessories that often go with the raincoat – almost immediately.

TESCO – a grocery corporation in South Korea has been on the cutting edge for sometime. The subway system there is integral to many, many city residents. Therefore the company got permission and paid to put up photos of many of its most popular grocery items on the walls of the subway. I saw photos and it literally covered most of one area from top to bottom. People can stroll along the wall, scan a code with their phone and order it by phone. In some cases the items are simply “pulled” for later pick up at the store, so all are in a basket conveniently ready to go in minutes. In other cases, Tesco is experimenting with delivery to certain local spots in the city. For instance they may delivery to a neighborhood store, similar to a UPS or FedEx/Kinkos location and they text or notify the customer when it is going to be there so they can pickup. This works well in South Korea with its dense and centralized city dwellings. There is a quick video about this on http://youtu.be/fGaVFRzTTP4

Mercedes: They are doing this in Australia to a large degree…Mercedes Dealers will offer varied services for clients while going to and from the airport, traveling for pleasure or business. Often the Mercedes dealer has a kiosk at a major airport. The client can either get a ride to the airport or in other cases, they can arrive at the airport and after checking in for their flight, they can go to the kiosk and check in ….. While they are away, their car is serviced/repaired and cleaned/washed. Clients can also leave clothes in the car to be dry-cleaned. The clients are often able to ride a golf-cart from the Mercedes kiosk to their gates (inside the airport).

After the client arrives/returns they are likewise given assistance and attention. In the case of the dealership that operates from parking at/near the airport: One dealer at least often will park the client’s car next to a new demo of a superior model (if the client has a C-Class, they park a newer E-Class next to it). The client is invited to leave their car and take the nicer, newer demo home for a period of time.

Figures vary but sales are up!

Interesting stuff. I hope it helps you!

Suggested reading: FLIP! By Peter Sheahan / Abundance by Peter Diamandis / Switch by the Heath Bros. /  Freakonomics 1 and 2

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Don’t just rely on motivation alone!

From a successful web person, I thought it was a good short article worth your time.

http://www.brittanylynch.com/why-relying-on-motivation-alone-sucks/

Why Relying On Motivation Alone Sucks!

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Relying on motivation alone to conquer a goal is setting yourself up for failure. Today I’m going to explain why, and give you an actionable strategy to overcome this and accomplish more than you ever thought you possibly could.

Let me ask you a question – have you ever set yourself a goal and at the time of setting that goal, felt like nothing in the world was going to hold you back from accomplishing it? Maybe it was losing 20 pounds, or making money on the Internet?

The day you set that goal you probably feel really motivated, maybe you exercise 45 minutes that day or start to build a website, and then the next day you’re back at it still feeling pretty good…but slowly somehow day by day you start skipping days, you don’t end up exercising, you put it off until tomorrow…and then you wake up months later and realize that you haven’t worked towards that goal in over a month? Sh*t!.. I guess tomorrow never came.

This is what happens when you rely on motivation alone to accomplish a goal.

The problem with motivation is it comes in waves. There are peaks and then there are lows. When you’re at a motivation peak – it probably feels like you can take on the world and definitely take advantage of that…however when you’re at a motivation low, good luck getting anything done if motivation is all you’re relying on.

Plain and simple this sucks…but I’ve got good news for you. I’m going to give you my strategy for accomplishing more than you ever thought possible…and it’s actually a lot simpler than you might think.

At the heart of the concept is the idea that you must balance “motivation” and “ability” together.

When your motivation is very high, you have the ability and mental strength to persevere and do more difficult things , such as running for 45 minutes.

When your motivation is low, you have less ability and lower mental strength to accomplish difficult tasks.

So how do you compensate for this? Easy – when you are feeling very motivated – get on that treadmill and run 45 minutes. When you’re not feeling motivated, you need to reduce ability and make that task easier for you to accomplish – for example instead of running 45 minutes – run for just 10.

Okay this might sound overly simplistic but what I’ve found is when I’m incredibly motivated, I can get on that treadmill and pound pavement and run for 45 minutes and feel awesome doing it.

However when I’m feeling a little tired, or had a bad day and just want to curl up on the couch and watch TV the last thing I want to do is run for 45 minutes. The motivation just isn’t there.

What I’ve found is, if I lower my mental expectations, lower the ability and tell myself “Okay today you don’t need to run for 45 minutes, just start by putting on your running shoes.” So I go put on my running shoes, first task done. Then I tell myself “Alright today all you’re going to do is run for 10 minutes. “

As soon as you reduce ability you’ll find your mind relaxes and that guilt you were previously feeling about the possibility of skipping a day working towards your goal melts away – because at least you’re doing SOMETHING. Something is always better than nothing.

Does that make sense to you?

You have to go with your bodies natural motivation waves.

You can’t be highly motivated at all times.

That’s why adjusting your ability with your motivation peaks and lows you’ll actually find that over time you’re able to get a lot more done.

Something else interesting happens.

As you rely less on motivation …you’re able to accomplish a lot more. Your ability really does increase. At first you’re running just 10 minutes on a low motivation peak, then one day you set out to just run 10 minutes but you end up running 15, it’s mentally getting easier for you to run …then that 15 minutes turns in 20, then 30 and so on and so forth.

Your ability will increase overtime and you’ll be less reliant on motivation alone and this will happen in a very natural way.

This same thing happened to me when I was trying to start my online business. At first I found it really difficult to motivate myself to get to work. Don’t get me wrong – I wanted the results of my business …the money and the freedom and lifestyle that came with it but I found it hard to just sit down and get my work done. Get all of those “tasks” done.

So I went back to the ability versus motivation formula and relied less on motivation and more on ability. I’d start by breaking down my overall goal into small steps and then just sitting down for 10 minutes a day to get work done. 10 minutes may not sound like a lot, but be honest and think back on all the days where you’ve spent a big fat ZERO minutes working towards your goal. 10 minutes increased to 15, 15 minutes to an hour…and as my ability to get this stuff done increased I progressed further and further along towards my goal until one day I realized that I did 8 hours of work, and it didn’t even feel like work at all. I just got better at getting things done. Not surprisingly as I got better at getting things done, my income and success towards that goal increased too. I was overcoming the learning curves and just improving overall.

So my advice to you is to never just rely on motivation. Doing this is a recipe for disaster. Try and balance ability and motivation and you’ll be able to get a lot more done, and you’ll be developing much better work habits towards your goals. – Brittany Lynch

The Wizard Within….

I am reading a book by Deepak Chopra called “Twenty Spiritual Lessons for Creating the Life You Want”

It is quite good.

It is something that I have written about on occasion and sometimes try to put into practice in my own life, but often do not.

The Wizard can represent a number of things or beings – it could be our own Spirit, the Universe, the Source, God, the Universal Intelligence, the Higher Self….or whatever you might refer to the power, love, force, and spirit that runs through us all. The Wizard is a metaphor….

The Wizard is that force or spirit that we all have, the true self that never really changes, the person that remains the same as we grow, as we face challenges, as we worry about materialistic things – the Wizard knows what is really important, the Wizard helps us stay on the course when we’re worried, concerned, or chasing the “Joneses”.

The Wizard is that voice inside that helps you make a decision, that helps you stay on track, and that provides you a foundation of strength, serenity, and guidance. The Wizard in us sees the real world, the real person in others – not the beautiful or ugly skins and bones, but the spirit inside.

• There are some great lessons in this book; some new and fresh, some are things we all probably already know but are definitely good to be reminded of…..
• Spend time pondering not what you see but why you see it.
• The Wizard exists in all of us. This wizard sees and knows everything.
• The Wizard is beyond opposites of light and dark, good and evil, pleasure and pain.
• Everything the wizard sees has its roots in the unseen world.
• Nature reflects the moods of the wizard.
• The body and mind may sleep but the wizard is always awake.

For someone like me who has a difficulty making time for meditation, I found the quote “Without silence, there is no room for the wizard.” very helpful and meaningful…”without silence ther cannot be any real appreciation of life, which is as delicate in its inner fabrics as a closed rosebud.”

…also, Wizards don’t live in fear…when asked “How do you manage this peace of mind?”, the Wizard says, “Look within where there is only peace.”

Lastly, Chopra writes this….”The mind may succeed in making you intelligent, but it is poorly equipped to make you happy, fulfilled, at peace with yourself.”….”the Wizard is inside you and only wants one thing: to be born.”

…..I’ll share more good thoughts from the book as I come across them….

Best wishes for some magic from your inner Wizard today…

..

🙂

5 Common Words That Create Failure

http://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/5-common-words-that-create-failure.html?nav=next

Your level of success is predetermined by the words you use every day. Avoid these five “failure” words.

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The words that people use every day determine whether they will achieve failure or success. There are five words that, in my observation, frequently show up in the conversation of losers, much more so than in that of winners. Here they are:

1. Luck

Although it’s true that unforeseen events can affect outcomes, it was not luck that made the difference. It was the events. Luck had nothing to do with it.

Believing in luck focuses your thoughts on an imaginary construct that neither you nor anybody else can change or affect.

What’s worse, luck is an excuse that explains away failure (“It was just bad luck”) and devalues your successes (“It was just good luck”).

2. Enemy

It’s true that you have competitors, and that sometimes, for you to win, they have to lose (and vice versa). Even so, there are no enemies in business.

Enemies are opponents in warfare, when people are killing one another. Business is about making things better, not killing people.

The moment you demonize competitors by calling them enemies, you close off your business options. Today’s competitors are often tomorrow’s partners.

3. Rejection

Wouldn’t it be nice if people always said yes to your ideas? Well, sometimes people aren’t going to like your ideas, or even you personally, for that matter.

You can pathologize such events by thinking of them as rejection, or you can understand that what really happened was that the other person’s desires didn’t match yours.

Rather than using a word that automatically makes you miserable, concentrate on changing your approach or approaching somebody else.

4. Hate

I cringe every time I hear somebody use this word in casual conversation. At work, it’s usually something like: “I hate my boss” or “I hate my job.”

Hate is a sick word, and it creates sickness in your body. Every time you use that word, you might as well be sticking a cancer cell in your body. Seriously.

I’m not saying that you’ve got to be sweetness and lovey-dovey about everything, but why pollute your brain by actually hating anything or anybody?

5. But

I’m sure you know somebody who can’t say anything about any idea, plan, or activity without crutching the sentence with the word but.

It’s always something like “Hey, that’s a great idea, but…” or “I agree that we need to take action, but…” It’s discouraging, and it kills momentum.

There’s a substitute for but that actually creates momentum: the word and. Try it next time a but is about to emerge from your mouth.

Tomorrow, I’ll give you the words that, in my observation, signal that a person is a winner rather than a loser. So stay tuned.

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Geoffrey James writes the Sales Source column on Inc.com, the world’s most visited sales-oriented blog. His newly published book is Business to Business Selling: Power Words and Strategies From the World’s Top Sales Experts. @Sales_Source