Category Archives: confidence

Frey Freyday – Courage

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.-Steve Jobs

– I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.-Nelson Mandela

– Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.-Winston Churchill

– He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.-Muhammad Ali

– You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.-Aristotle

– You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.-Eleanor Roosevelt

– Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.-John F. Kennedy

– Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.-W. Clement Stone

– Don’t Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.-Miguel Angel Ruiz

– One isn’t necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.-Maya Angelou

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Courage – [kur-ij, kuhr-] – the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.
I know people that say ‘I’m scared, therefore I have no courage.’ Everyone gets scared. It takes courage to move ahead and face the things we’re scared of….

I believe that, while knowledge and education are necessary, action takers rule the world. Action requires courage, of course. We’re all scared of failing, of rejection, of the unknown, of things outside our comfort level.

One thing that I believe some people do incorrectly is believe that they need “a bunch of courage” and to bet the farm. I think it is just as or more important to have courage to take small steps, incremental improvements each day. What can you do today to move ahead towards your goal or dream. Those little things need courage too.

Sometimes courage is required in a single moment. Like the movie We Bought a Zoo says, ‘all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage’. You can do it. Go for it. Live.

Remember, too, that the word ‘encourage’ means inspiring or supporting others with courage. Courage inspires others. Courage is contagious.

This post is dedicated to those people, those loved ones and those service men and women, that are now passed away but have inspired courage or have shown courage in their lives.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB).

Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also

a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would

raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other

children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education.

Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally,

sometimes accidentally.

……So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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Bonus – From the Ted Radio Hour on npr.org – several links to great TED Talks about Courage

http://www.npr.org/programs/ted-radio-hour/368757408/courage?showDate=2014-12-12

Rejected! 5 Lessons

We all get rejected in different parts of our lives, and I find that many people just plain don’t take action because they fear that they will be rejected (they don’t even try).

Either way, here is a very good video and blog link about Rejection, persistence, and strategies for life.

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FROM Brendon Burchard’s blog

http://brendonburchard.tumblr.com/post/102898496063/rejected-5-lessons-from-getting-dumped-by-my-publisher

Summary:

Brendon’s latest New York Times bestselling book, The Motivation Manifesto, was at first rejected by Simon & Schuster. He had a near-million-dollar deal with them, but when he turned his book in they said it was unpublishable. Brendon was stunned. Basically, they said they didn’t like it, and threatened to cancel the contract and demand their money back if he didn’t change the voice and add more stories.

Change your art to meet the desires of people who are uninformed about your expertise and passion?

Or fight for your voice and give the money back?

Brendon chose to fight for his vision. He agreed to give the money back and then released the book via a distribution deal with Hay House. The book immediately debuted as a bestseller on the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Amazon, and Barnes and Noble bestseller lists.

This is his story and 5 lessons learned fighting for his voice and dreams.

Brendon says, “Never let someone tell you that you or your dreams are impossible, improbable, or not ‘good enough’ for their liking, especially when they have no experience or knowledge of your true heart and powers.”

In this video he shares these 5 lessons:

  1. Have vision for your life and art. And stick to it through your doubts and fears, through all the petty judgements and social oppressions.
  2. Believe in your ability to figure things out. With enough time, effort, and discipline you will learn and grow and achieve.
  3. Have fun chasing your dreams – no matter what. Bring joy to each experience and realize the journey is something to be cherished and grateful for.
  4. Be patient but always persistent. Go easy on yourself but hard each day toward your dreams.
  5. Respect and love others also playing this same game of life. Everyone is struggling to express themselves and achieve their dreams – so give them the same respect, patience, appreciation and love you desire for yourself.

 

Choose How You Want to Feel

By Kare Anderson
Emmy-Winner | TEDx | Connective Behavior | Speaker | Columnist | Author | Strategist
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Breandan and Emma, the couple up the hill from me in Sausalito have been married 54 years, they proudly told me last year. They walked, hand-in-hand past my home each morning, usually laughing, smiling and pointing out things to each other along the way.

Originally from Ireland, they listened, in bed, to BBC News at dawn so they usually had a tidbit of news to share with me if they happened to pass my home when I was finishing my lame attempt at morning exercises in the back yard.

When Emma died suddenly, Breandan stopped walking. He stayed inside their home and ignored my knock on their door. Several times. Later, when he started walking again, he told me his son, a motivational speaker on leadership, suggested that he start saying positive self-affirmations every morning “to lift his mood.”

He retorted, “My mood doesn’t need lifting! It’s right where it’s supposed to be.” So his well-intentioned son then mailed him a card pack with cheery faces on one side and, on the other, a series of upbeat daily affirmations. The card pack was entitled ”Yes, I Can!” to which Breandan hotly responded (to me, but not his son, I gather) “No I won’t!”

Write Yourself Through Your Journey to a Better Emotional Place

That gift inspired Breandan to get out of the old chair he sat in most days, with a morose look on his face, and take action, but not in the way his son intended. He wrote his own collection of “realistic affirmations.” I figured that the sentiments reflected his way of responding to grief, his stubborn resistance to being told to feel better and his core attitude about living life as it happens. Some were darkly funny. Yet his basic resilience started to shine through as he finished writing his sayings by the end of the year. “Not every cloud has a silver lining so start liking the clouds.”

I thought of Breandan when I read that Norman Vincent Peale may have been wrong, at least for some people, when he advocated saying positive self-affirmations to lift one’s mood. That’s a startling revelation for many of us Americans who have been bombarded with self-help messages based on the belief that positive affirmations are entirely beneficial.

“Repeating positive self-statements may benefit certain people, such as those with high self-esteem, but backfire for the very people who need them the most,” concludes social psychology professor Dr. Joanne Wood. Even those with high self-esteem felt only slightly better after repeating a positive self-statement.

The news gets worse for those with a low self-image Wood and her colleagues found:

• People with high self-esteem are more likely than those with low self-esteem to try to improve their moods when they are sad, as well as to savor their moods when they are happy.

• Those with low self-esteem sometimes even try to dampen their happiness, and engaging with others on Facebook seems to reinforce that reaction.

Don’t Fight Those Feelings. Instead, Notice Them, Then Choose What to Feel

Like obsessing more about the elephant in the room after being told to ignore it, being told to repeat “get happy” sayings, when sad, can make us feel even more sad. As Ed Yong concluded, “Statements that contradict a person’s self-image, no matter how rallying in intention, are likely to boomerang.“ “Don’t believe everything you think. “Thoughts are just that – thoughts,” wrote Pocket Peace author Allan Lokos.

Instead, of trying to change your feelings (as cognitive therapy attempts to do) change how you choose to view your thoughts. That approach calls on us to be mindfully observing what we are thinking and feeling from a calm pool, so to speak, without getting repeatedly sucked into the downward swirl of them. As Thich Nhat Hanh wrote, “Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.”

Practicing this way we can notice what we are feeling in the moment without immediately reacting, thus becoming better at choosing how we want to act. This approach is called ACT:Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. To reinforce that practice, “think of yourself as a kind friend,” suggests Duke University psychology professor Mark Leary. That bolsters yourself-compassion and thus your happiness. “One is a great deal less anxious if one feels perfectly free to be anxious, and the same may be said of guilt,” Alan Watts wrote.

Breandan, by the way, has begun writing his memoir, describing some of the adventures he shared with Emma, the people they met and the joy of living with her “through thick and thin.” His writing enables him to take the ACT approach, to observing and accept his sadness at his wife’s passing and to choose to focus, instead, on the many of the happy times they enjoyed together. He showed me the quote he chose for the first page:

“In the end, just three things matter:

How well we have lived

How well we have loved

How well we have learned to let go” ~ Jack Kornfield

As Byron Katie would say, he is “loving what is.” See more ideas at my Quotable and Connected column at Forbes.

https://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140716144633-7216756-choose-how-you-want-to-feel?_mSplash=1%5C&published=t

Frey Freyday – Moments

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.-Buddha

Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.-Omar Khayyam

Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible – it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.-Barbara de Angelis

It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped. Decide today who you will become, what you will give and how you will live. -Tony Robbins

In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.-Theodore Roosevelt

There is no end to education. It is not that you read a book, pass an examination, and finish with education. The whole of life, from the moment you are born to the moment you die, is a process of learning.-Jiddu Krishnamurti

Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.-Miguel Angel Ruiz

Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.-Oprah Winfrey

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.-Anne Frank

Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.-Gilda Radner

If you aren’t in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.-Jim Carrey

When you take a flower in your hand and really look at it, it’s your world for the moment. I want to give that world to someone else. Most people in the city rush around so, they have no time to look at a flower. I want them to see it whether they want to or not.-Georgia O’Keeffe

A question to ask yourself each moment that really lights fires, gongs bells, and summons resources is “What little, mortal, baby steps can I take today that will demonstrate expectancy, prepare for my dream’s manifestation, and above all, place me within reach of life’s magic?” –Please, ask this question and then take those steps, and I promise you’ll go down in history as a giant among your kind. It’s never too late, –    The Universe (www.tut.com) Mike Dooley

I do not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of the present. God has given me no control over the moment following.-Mahatma Gandhi

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.-Robert Frost

How to Reprogram Your Mind

A great video worth sharing….

FROM Brendon Burchard – and the High Performance Academy

“The first thing you have to do in order to improve your mind is to take total control of your attention and notice: Where are my thoughts right now? Are they positive or negative? Are they helping me feel alive, engaged, and grateful in this moment? Am I present with my current experience or trapped in the past? Are my thoughts supporting me or are they automatically coming up negative and self-protective in ways that are not advancing my life? Just to be aware, to be conscious of what’s going on in your body, in your sense of feeling and emotion now, this is the stuff of becoming mature, connected, and happy.”

JillSunnyOct12

From “How to Reprogram Your Mind”:

CLICK HERE

http://tmblr.co/ZTb1Dv1Kd3jTo

How do you spend your time

From: Brendon Burchard – Live. Love. Matter.
Thu ·
Most people are not apathetic fools—they are engaged and intelligent beyond measure. It’s just that they spend a shocking amount of time studying foolish things, and so they have gained great intelligence in the inconsequential. They know dozens of batting averages, celebrity baby names, and trivial anecdotes from the latest news alert. They know more about television characters than their coworkers; more about the freeway traffic ahead than their financial future; more about the new tech toy than what’s truly missing from their lives.

This of course, does not describe everyone. Yet we have the average American watching four hours of television per day. This amounts to around 13 years of his or her lifetime. Yes, that’s 13 years 24/7 in front of the boob tube. Those years slip by episode-to-episode, and often feel like rest and entertainment. But all research shows they amount to very little joy or meaning in one’s day or life.

The cost is immense: had those 13 years been used for vital and productive endeavor, they would amass to nearly $1,000,000 more in wages and over $2,000,000 in investment opportunity. Let’s not forget how those 13 years could have been used to deepen friendships, travel, create more art, learn languages, develop world-class expertise, contribute, enjoy love, or live life as a human rather than a gape-mouthed consumer of waste.

While television isn’t stealing everyone’s four hours, most of us now suffer from a sort of recurring “browser blackout” or “app amnesia,” losing hours of time each day on our computer or mobile devices without any recollection of what we saw or accomplished. Distraction reigns.

And so the outcome is we have tremendously engaged and intelligent people often tragically consuming and learning meaningless things. We are busy, but at what? We are smart, but at what? We are engaged, but with what?

Not everyone is so lost, but this might help explain the melancholy one feels in our society. For what could be worse than for smart, engaging people to finish their lifetimes without much to show for it but the ability to win a pop culture trivia contest?

26 Public Speaking Tips from an Actor & Professional Speaker

26 Public Speaking Tips from an Actor & Professional Speaker
By Michael Port

I may need to add a rider to my liability insurance policy for Carpel Tunnel Syndrome because people at the Think Big Speak Easy take so many notes.

Here is just one page of notes from one participant from the first two hours of day one:

The speech starts with your bio before you walk on stage. Bio should be over the top powerful and impressive. Then open with something sincere and self-effacing to disarm the audience.
You DON’T have to tell them what you’re going to tell them. Open with a surprise, a shock…an interaction, something that makes connection, entertains, exposes, etc.
You need to cut lots of info OUT of your stories and better detail with specifics critical parts of your stories. How much do they need to know to get to the a-ha moment; less than you think.
An entire story is designed to serve the end.
Establish right away that you know what the world looks like for them—and what it could look like. Vividly paint the picture.
You must reward them for doing something or contributing in some way.
Use palm up instead of finger for pointing. Sometimes the finger looks like a gun and is rude in some cultures. Palm up serves up the floor to them in a more gracious way.

People say “Yes” when we’ve affected them intellectually, emotionally or physically.
If you’re teaching content (which has some differences from a “message” speech) outline first then go back and unpack it. Outline and then make the case.
Use props. What can you show, demo, depict with things rather than words.
Use contrast/extremes to create excitement and keep attention. Contrast can be emotional, physically, structural. This is basic in every great play, film, and music composition.
Keep your energy and speech moving forward. Never let the energy drop.
Audiences like to think that events on the stage are happening spontaneously. They like to be surprised. The great actor does this brilliantly. The Speaker needs to as well.
Love Michael’s phrase: STAND AND LAND. Let your punch lines, point lines and purpose lines land.
You can move and talk at the same time (people do it all the time in real life) but not on or over the most important points.
Don’t say, “I’m glad to be here.” Audience should see that in your presentation. No need to tell them.
Don’t tell them you’re going to tell a story. Just tell the story.
Every rule is made to be broken but to break a performance/stage rule you have to know the rules, why they exist and why you’re breaking them (only do it for a better result).
Be very conscientious about connecting the dots or you’ll lose your audience.
When giving info for people to write down, give them time to write it down for goodness sake.
You can blow their mind in just a few minutes (example: TED talks). Never apologize for the amount of time you don’t have. They should feel that the amount of time you have is the perfect amount of time.
Audiences love to be let out a few minutes early—even if they LOVE your performance.
Enlist the self-proclaimed experts in the room. It’ll help knock the chips off their shoulders and get them on your side supporting your message.
Slight embellishment and/or combining stories into one better story is fine. It’s a performance, a show. Go for what is most dramatic and effective to get your message across.
Remember they don’t know what you know. It’s the first time they’ve heard your info.
Show them what the world will look like if they DON’T change, if the DON’T follow your advice.
Remember, this was just one page of notes from one participant in the Think Big Speak Easy.

– See more at: http://www.bookyourselfsolid.com/26-Public-Speaking-Tips

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