Category Archives: anxiety

Frey Freyday – Anxiety

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

ANXIETYAnxiety is an emotion characterized by an unpleasant state of inner turmoil, often accompanied by nervous behaviour

Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength. Charles Spurgeon

If you don’t think your anxiety, depression, sadness and stress impact your physical health, think again. All of these emotions trigger chemical reactions in your body, which can lead to inflammation and a weakened immune system. Learn how to cope, sweet friend. There will always be dark days. Kris Carr

The truth is that there is no actual stress or anxiety in the world; it’s your thoughts that create these false beliefs. You can’t package stress, touch it, or see it. There are only people engaged in stressful thinking. Wayne Dyer

People tend to dwell more on negative things than on good things. So the mind then becomes obsessed with negative things, with judgments, guilt and anxiety produced by thoughts about the future and so on. Eckhart Tolle

Nothing in the affairs of men is worthy of great anxiety. Plato

WORD TO LIVE BY:

 

Anxiety– something that distracts us from life and living, something that keeps us from being happy, doing our best, enjoying the moment. Often, not always, our anxiety is very much able to be controlled.

 

Anxiety is a big subject. I was getting a little anxious about writing this. We all suffer from some sort of anxiety. It may be little things around the house, issues with the kids, concerns about a relationship, often finances, careers, health. We have anxiety about our world, our culture, our politics.

 

Some of us probably focus on the negative a little more than others in some situations vs others because of our life experiences, perspectives, and circumstances.

 

As a country, the US has more than its fair share of anxiety. If you think about it, we have some of the highest standards of living, if not the highest standards of living, in the whole world. Like some countries, for the most part in American, we don’t have to worry about where our next meal is coming from, we have a safe home, we have access to healthcare in many cases, and we generally can meet all of our basic needs as a human being.

 

In some third-world countries, families share small tin shacks with dirt floors and a bag of beans and rice means the world to them. Getting sick is a big concern and a simple illness can lead to worse things. Safety and security is often a big concern. Out world looks pretty good next to that.

 

So if we have a better society, in general, why are we so anxious? Does the constant news media help? Probably not. Does the envy, jealousy, comparing ourselves to others on social media help? (We often see the perfect versions of our friends and relatives on social media- all the good photos and we may think, ‘what’s wrong with my life?’)

 

American citizens are prescribed and use A LOT of anxiety medication. Sometimes these help. Sometimes they cause other side effects like dizziness, headaches, nausea and vomiting. Other sides effects include thoughts of suicide, confusion, aggression, hallucinations, sleep problems, severe drowsiness and other issues – none of which will help you feel less anxious, I’m guessing. One side effect of an anxiety medication actually stated, “may cause anxiety or depression.”

 

In a recent article, (msn.com by Lindsay Holmes 8/30/18) Stephen Colbert spoke about anxiety in his life. He stated,Nobody ever asked me what was wrong! It went on for months. I would go to the show, and I would curl up in a ball on the couch backstage and I would wait to hear my cue lines. Then I would uncurl and go onstage and I’d feel fine,” he said. “Which occurred to me at the time: Like, ‘Oh, you feel fine when you’re out here.’ And then as soon as I got offstage, I’d just crumble into a ball again. Nobody ever asked me what was wrong! It went on for months.”

 

Colbert said back then he took medication for his anxiety for a few days, which he said helped. But he ultimately decided that treatment plan wasn’t right for him. “I realized that the gears were still smoking. I just couldn’t hear them anymore,” he said. “But I could feel them, I could feel the gearbox heating up and smoke pouring out of me.”

 

An estimated 40 million American adults, or 18 percent of the adult population, are affected by anxiety each year. In addition to panic and excessive stress, it can cause headaches, stomach issues, rapid breathing, heart palpitations and more. But the good news is that anxiety is highly treatable: Therapy, medication, coping techniques or a combination of methods can help people manage anxiety and live well.

 

So what can we do? What do people do to cope with and/or overcome anxiety? The Internet is full of possible solutions. It could include changes in diet, reducing caffeine, taking Vitamin B, exercising, meditation, mindfulness, analyzing your thoughts, talking about anxiety, therapy, changing your inner thoughts/questions, and many other items.

 

For me, I find writing it down helps, writing out a solution or solutions. It is nice to know that one has options. I rarely enjoy going to the fitness center to exercise –sometimes I really dislike going – but afterwards I am always happy, and it really helps with any stress or anxiety I have, big or small stuff.

 

I read Eckhart Tolle years ago, and to paraphrase him, he basically stated that we often focus on negative things in the past that already happened or negative things that might happen in the future. In either case we really can’t change it right now, so it’s kind of a waste of time. We’re getting anxious for no reason. Tolle says we can feel better by just being in the moment, being present in the now. For a long time I thought this was silly – a simplification of our problems. One day, I started trying it. If I felt anxious about something I tried to catch myself, not be judgmental about it, but just redirect my thoughts into the present moment. I would focus on my breathing, the lighting, the air currents, the sounds – whatever was around me. You can’t focus on simple things like that AND focus on your worries at the same time. Sure, sometimes the problem was still there but I was able to approach it with less anxiety, in a calmer, relaxed state where I could perform better.

 

I read the above Wayne Dyer quote years ago and again, I felt that it was an esoteric sort of shrugging off of anxiety and I didn’t give it much weight. Then I was on vacation one week and returned to find that an ‘issue’ had been brewing at work. Had I been at work I would have been stressed about it, anxious and worried – even though there was nothing that I could do about it in any way. Instead, I was on vacation and didn’t know it was going on….so I wasn’t worried. In both cases I could not control the outcome or affect it in any way. So why be anxious? Easier said than done, sure, but true.

 

Someone also told me once that anxiety goes away a little when we have faith in a higher power, faith in ourselves, and faith in others….faith that things are going to work out.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

BONUS  :   9 Ways to Get Rid of Anxiety in 5 Minutes or Less By Melanie Curtin

Whether you experience is of mild or extreme anxiety, there are steps you can take immediately to calm down and self-soothe. Here are a few of the best:

  1. Stand up straight

According to Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., psychologist and author of Freeing Yourself from Anxiety, “When we are anxious, we protect our upper body — where our heart and lungs are located — by hunching over.”

For immediate relief from anxiety, stand up, pull your shoulders back, plant your feet evenly and widely apart, and open your chest. Then breathe deeply. This posture, combined with deep breathing, helps your body remember that it’s not in danger right now, and that it is in control (not helpless). If you can’t stand up (i.e. you’re in your car), just pull your shoulders back and open up your chest. The most important thing is to stop hunching and breathe deeply.

 

  1. Play the 5-5-5 game

When you’re anxious, you’re often caught in a (negative) thought loop. Play this to get back into your body and stop anxiety fast:

Look around and name 5 things you can see.

List 5 sounds you can hear.

Move 5 parts of your body you can feel (i.e. rotate your ankle, wiggle your ears, nod your head up and down).

It might sound silly, but this works.

 

  1. Sniff lavender oil

Lavender oil has a lot of healing properties. It promotes a feeling of calm and supports deep, restful sleep. It can even help with headaches.

To help reduce anxiety, keep a bottle of lavender oil at your desk (or in purse if you have one). Breathe it in and/or massage it into your temples when you need a boost of peace. Bonus points for combining the sniffing with deep, even breaths.

 

  1. Watch a funny video

Yes, really. Watching a clip of your favorite comedian or blooper reel will help you stop feeling anxious fast. Why? Because you can’t laugh and stay anxious at the same time, physiologically. Your body relaxes after a bout of laughter in a way that gets rid of anxiety. Plus, according to the Mayo Clinic, laughter brings in oxygen-rich air, which stimulates your heart and lungs, and spikes your endorphins.

 

  1. Go for a brisk walk

Exercise is a long-proven way to lower anxiety. In addition to boosting your level of feel-good neurotransmitters, a brisk walk clears your mind and gets you breathing more deeply again–and anxiety is intimately linked to shallow breathing.

Studies also show that people who exercise vigorously on a regular basis are 25 percent less likely to develop an anxiety disorder.

 

  1. Accept your anxiety

This may sound counterintuitive, but Chansky says accepting your anxiety (instead of feeling ashamed or frustrated by it) will actually help you feel less anxious.

It doesn’t matter whether you inherited your anxiety from your family or your lifestyle, or both. It’s here now, and acknowledging that instead of fighting it frees you up to learn how to manage it. Accepting it doesn’t mean giving up, either. It means you stop spending energy berating yourself for being anxious and instead learn what works for you when it comes to self-soothing.

 

  1. Listen to the most relaxing song in the world

This song was engineered specifically to calm your nervous system. It was found to reduce anxiety by up to 65 percent. Here is a loop of it playing on repeat.

 

  1. Re-label what’s happening.

If you’re having a panic attack and your heart is racing, it’s easy to believe something like, “I’m going to die.” Instead of buying into this inaccurate thought, re-label it. Remind yourself: “This is a panic attack. I’ve had them before and they don’t actually kill me; they pass. This will also pass, and there’s nothing I need to do.”

In actuality, panic attacks are an activation of the body’s fight-or-flight response, which doesn’t kill you–it keeps you alive.

 

  1. Do something

Do anything. Clear a few things off your desk. Walk over to the kitchenette and get yourself a glass of water. Walk outside and find a flower to smell–it doesn’t matter. Doing an action interrupts your thought pattern, which is often where anxiety starts.

When it comes to stopping anxiety, self-soothing is actually a profound act of self-love.

Love on.

Published on: Aug 30, 2018

https://www.inc.com/melanie-curtin/9-ways-to-get-rid-of-anxiety-in-5-minutes-or-less.html

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Frey Freyday – Let Go

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

LET GO / DETACHMENTthe action or process of detaching; separation (emotionally, physically)

The essence of the Way is detachment. – Bodhidharma

He who would be serene and pure needs but one thing, detachment.  –Meister Eckhart

In order to acquire anything in the physical universe, you have to relinquish you attachment to it. Deepak Chopra

It doesn’t take a lot of strength to hang on. It takes a lot of strength to let go. J. C. Watts –

To be consistently effective, you must put a certain distance between yourself and what happens to you on the golf course. This is not indifference, it’s detachment.  -Sam Snead

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. Lao Tzu

I cannot own anything. It is a valuable thought to keep in mind as you struggle to improve your financial picture, worry about investments, and plan how to acquire more and more. It is a universal principle which you are part of. You must release everything when you truly awaken. Are you letting your life go by in frustration and worry over not having enough? If so, relax and remember that you only get what you have for a short period of time. When you awaken you will see the folly of being attached to anything. Wayne Dyer

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Let Go – to mentally, emotionally, even psychically detaching oneself from an outcome, result, worry, concern, anger, pain, hurt, goal, challenge, etc.

I’ve written about having faith in others, in yourself, in a Higher Power, etc. before. I’ve talked about letting go in similar ways related to our desires and intentions, and even a little about letting go in relationships and with the loss of a loved ones. I’ve discussed detachment a bit too.

I must be honest, these are some of the harder things for me. In particular, I had difficulty for quite a while with letting go – or what some call the law of detachment.

We’ve had challenges and uncertainty in life and in the world/health/economy. We often consider that uncertainty is always bad.

But it is important to realize that there are good things related to uncertainty. With uncertainty there is a break or freedom from what has happened – from the past. The past does not equal the future. We have the opportunity to escape our own past habits, conditioning, from what we now know. It is an opportunity.

 If we are willing to step into the unknown, to have faith, and to detach ourselves from the outcome, we surrender ourselves to our own creative subconscious, to other people’s love and support, and to the creative powers that exist in this universe.

This doesn’t mean that you give up the intention or the desire, but you give up the attachment to the result.

That’s sometimes a little esoteric for me and difficult for me to do. I do know that it can also be very powerful.

I think about times in the past when I felt that I ‘needed’ a chunk of money to pay something. There are times when I needed a few hundred, other times when I needed tens of thousands of dollars for something.

Maybe for you it was a relationship that you wanted. Or maybe you wanted a new client, more sales, a new car, a house, that gadget, whatever.

We focus on it and we think about it and really just hang on it, right? We have a burning desire, we make a strategy and we really, really want it.

This is typically attachment. Typically this is not helpful. It can be based on insecurity, fear, scarcity. We think that we don’t have it, that it is separate from us and that we have a void and we want it to fill the void.  If you think about creation and abundance, those things are opposites. It can also show a lack of faith in ourselves and Creation.

Abundance, Creation, wealth, can fulfill every need. But are these things that we are chasing, really a need? Are they really necessary?

When we ‘chase things’ we create anxiety, tension, stress, don’t we?

As Deepak Chopra says, “Attachment comes from poverty consciousness, because attachment is always to symbols. Detachment is synonymous with wealth consciousness, because with detachment there is freedom to create. Only from detached involvement can one have joy and laughter.”

(When Chopra speaks of symbols, he means the materialistic, physical things that we desire in life; cars, money, homes, clothes, etc. Often these things can leave us feeling hollow.)

Attachment leads us more towards a world of helplessness, hopelessness, desperation and seriousness, doesn’t it? Think of those times when you felt that you needed something ASAP. You probably worried more, thought about the problem, thought about something related to it from the past or future and you weren’t in the present moment. You probably weren’t as creative or joyful, right?

So How do we DETACH?:  Essentially let go or hand over things to your Creator/God/Higher Power. Let go of all the persons, places and things which you would like to see changed but which you cannot change on your own. 

Realize and take responsibility for your own actions and accept that there is only one person you can change and that is yourself. Let go of the “need” to fix, change, rescue or heal other persons, places and things.

Real detachment means inner strength, and the ability to function calmly and with full inner control under all circumstances. A detached person is not harassed and hurried, and can do everything with concentration and attention, thus insuring a successful outcome of his actions.

There is wisdom in uncertainty. There is freedom and creativity in uncertainty, detachment.

When we are attached to something, we are in some way trying to control things. Controlling such is this is typically because we’re afraid. Our fear and our ego leads us to believe that somehow if we control things, everything will be OK. Instead, letting go will open us up to other possibilities.

We all seek security in one way or another. Again, I cite Chopra’s example when we might  desire money and expect security from it. “When I have X million dollares, then I’ll be secure.” But it never happens.

Seeking security in this manner can lead us to chase it for a lifetime without ever finding it.” Deepak Chopra. http://www.chopra.com/laws/detachment

It is also true that we all can sometimes get attached to “Our Story” – our past, our challenges, our history. This story of our life can limit us greatly if we get emotional and/or attached to it. Instead, we can have a healthy detachment to our past. This allows us to more easily identify the lessons and the benefit that comes from the experience.

Are you stuck in life because you are living out of a story you told yourself long ago? Are you reliving the same story over and over, placing your attention on the story rather than where you want to go? We all do it.

 Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

  • BONUS:

Here are SOME EXCELLENT POINTS ABOUT DETACHMENT

They discuss things more in terms of relationships, but it is still relevant. http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/

What is detachment? Detachment is the: * Ability to allow people, places or things the freedom to be themselves. * Holding back from the need to rescue, save or fix another person from being sick, dysfunctional or irrational. * Giving another person “the space” to be herself. * Disengaging from an over-enmeshed or dependent relationship with people. * Willingness to accept that you cannot change or control a person, place or thing. * Developing and maintaining of a safe, emotional distance from someone whom you have previously given a lot of power to affect your emotional outlook on life. * Establishing of emotional boundaries between you and those people you have become overly enmeshed or dependent with in order that all of you might be able to develop your own sense of autonomy and independence. * Process by which you are free to feel your own feelings when you see another person falter and fail and not be led by guilt to feel responsible for their failure or faltering. * Ability to maintain an emotional bond of love, concern and caring without the negative results of rescuing, enabling, fixing or controlling. * Placing of all things in life into a healthy, rational perspective and recognizing that there is a need to back away from the uncontrollable and unchangeable realities of life. * Ability to exercise emotional self-protection and prevention so as not to experience greater emotional devastation from having hung on beyond a reasonable and rational point. * Ability to let people you love and care for accept personal responsibility for their own actions and to practice tough love and not give in when they come to you to bail them out when their actions lead to failure or trouble for them. * Ability to allow people to be who they “really are” rather than who you “want them to be.” * Ability to avoid being hurt, abused, taken advantage of by people who in the past have been overly dependent or enmeshed with you.

What are the negative effects not detaching? If you are unable to detach from people, places or things, then you: * Will have people, places or things which become over-dependent on you. * Run the risk of being manipulated to do things for people, at places or with things which you do not really want to do. * Can become an obsessive “fix it” who needs to fix everything you perceive to be imperfect. * Run the risk of performing tasks because of the intimidation you experience from people, places or things. * Will most probably become powerless in the face of the demands of the people, places or things whom you have given the power to control you. * Will be blind to the reality that the people, places or things which control you are the uncontrollables and unchangeables you need to let go of if you are to become a fully healthy, coping individual. * Will be easily influenced by the perception of helplessness which these people, places or things project. * Might become caught up with your idealistic need to make everything perfect for people, places or things important to you even if it means your own life becomes unhealthy. * Run the risk of becoming out of control of yourself and experience greater low self-esteem as a result. * Will most probably put off making a decision and following through on it, if you rationally recognize your relationship with a person, place or thing is unhealthy and the only recourse left is to get out of the relationship. * Will be so driven by guilt and emotional dependence that the sickness in the relationship will worsen. * Run the risk of losing your autonomy and independence and derive your value or worth solely from the unhealthy relationship you continue in with the unhealthy person, place or thing.

How to Comfort Your Inner Worry Wart

How to Comfort Your Inner Worry Wart

 BY TANCIE LEROUX from tut.com

When my children were young, I’d tuck them in at night with kisses and a song. Every now and then their sweet little minds would be wrestling with a worry that was upsetting them.  Maybe someone was being mean; maybe they were nervous about an upcoming game; maybe they felt they’d disappointed their teacher.  Nothing too earth shattering but distressing to their little hearts.

I didn’t want them to go to bed with a troubled mind so I’d strike a bargain before they drifted off to sleep.  “You give me your worries for the night and I’ll take care of them for you.  If they get too big for me, I’ll hand them over to God.”

That seemed reasonable to them, so they’d place their troubles in my hand and float off to La La Land.

Wouldn’t you like to do that?

All of us spend too much time worrying about “what-ifs” and worst case scenarios that will probably never come true.  With the media informing us of every horrific global event and commercials alerting us to every “silent killer” lurking in our own bodies, the world can feel scary and unpredictable at times.

How do you stay calm when you’re worried about your money, your debt, your job, your health, your loved ones, your pets, your home, your country and a myriad of other fears and unforeseen events.  How do you stay at peace in a world you can’t control?

Being a title-holding worry wart, I’ve found 3 ways to manage troublesome thoughts.

1. Take Control of the Controllable.

Not all worry is useless.  It can serve you well when it drives you to take action and solve the problems at hand, but when you’re only fixated on the “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios, chronic worrying can leave you emotionally drained.

The first step is to evaluate your problem by asking whether it’s solvable:  Is it a real problem or an imaginary what-if?  Is the concern realistic?  Am I killing off healthy loved ones in my imagination for no apparent reason? How likely is this to happen?  Can I prepare for it or is it out of my control?

Next is to take any action that’s needed right away.  If you’re anxious about debt, call your creditors and set up a payment plan.  If you’re having pain in your leg, make a doctor’s appointment.  If you’re concerned about the cold weather, move to Southern California.  Focus on the things you can solve rather than the things and conditions that are out of your control.

Whatever’s left, kick it to the curb and focus on ice cream.

2. Make a “God Box”.

I read about The God Box in Tosha Silver’s book Outrageous Openness and I knew I needed one.  Some of us like having something to DO when our nerves need soothing.

Get yourself a dedicated box that feels good to you.  Place it somewhere in your home that’s sacred and personal.  When you have a worry, write it down on a piece of paper and place it in the box.

As you put it inside, call on God (or whatever your divine source is) and release your personal focus and attachment.  Surrender it to your higher power and allow it to use anything and any way it wants to solve your problem and meet your needs.

There’s no “your way or the highway” allowed.  The Universe is more clever and magical than you ever thought possible and always finds the perfect way.

3. Do a Good Deed.

Doing a good deed not only makes you feel warm and fuzzy, it replaces rampant negative energy with positive.

Give needed attention to a loved one, help a sick neighbor, give a compliment to the store clerk or offer a meal to a homeless person.  Any kind act works.  Use your instincts to be led to the right opportunities.

The added benefit is that when you engage in good deeds, your body releases Oxytocin which reduces stress and makes you feel better.  Kindness also triggers feel-good chemicals like dopamine and endorphins which increase your overall well-being.

When you worry, you’re putting too much focus on the future and not enough on the here and now.  Bringing your attention back to the present by controlling what you can, releasing what you can’t and changing your focus to others, lessens your anxiety and puts you in a place of gratitude.

As adults, we have busy and full lives which can give us lots to worry about, but we still have the opportunity to hand it all over to a much wiser and loving power when it feels too big.

When you go to bed tonight and lay your head gently on the pillow, let your “Divine Mother” hold your worries while you sleep and maybe, just maybe, she’ll sing you a lullaby as you drift off to La La Land.

Rest well and sweet dreams.

– See more at:

http://www.tut.com/article/details/156-how-to-comfort-your-inner-worry-wart/?articleId=156

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