Frey Freyday – feeling bad

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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 feel bad- Also, feel bad about. Experience regret, sadness, embarrassment, or a similar unpleasant emotion. For example,-

Nobody ever wants to really make someone feel bad. Patrick Wilson
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When you feel bad on the inside, you wind up wanting to do things to make others feel bad. In contrast, when you feel happy on the inside, you want to do things to make others feel happy. Karen Salmansohn
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WORD TO LIVE BY:

Feel Bad (don’t) – a saying that many of us use all the time that probably isn’t good at all.

So I hear this saying all the time, and I still say it too; “I feel bad for….”

Someone will see a friend sick, something sad on the news, an animal, a sad person, or any number of things like that and we’ll say “I feel bad for them”.

Or perhaps you did or said something – or didn’t – and there is some negative result to a person and you say “I feel bad that this happened”. Sometimes it is just life happening to each of us and we express the same sentiment, “I feel bad for you”.

Let’s look at the language. So we could be having a good day or a bad day – and they you see this person/animal/whatever and you say “I feel bad for….” –How do you think that you’ll feel for a period of time? Bad, right?

While I know that it is important to be compassionate for others, to care for them, to be concerned for them – I want to also and it is necessary and important to all of us – but think about it – you feeling bad won’t help that person/animal/situation!

Actually you feeling bad, might not help, it might hurt. Let’s think about it. Someone’s in the hospital, let’s say; You ‘feel bad for them’. Does it help them recover? No. It actually could make you and/or them feel sadder/more depressed. Feeling sad or bad for someone does not help them.

Think of when someone ‘felt bad’ for you. You knew they cared, sure, but it really didn’t help much otherwise, right? It may have even made you feel sad/bad/pitied – certainly not empowered.

When we’re saying that phrase, “I feel bad”, even in self-talk, it tells our mind and body to feel bad. Not helpful in any case – and it also puts you in a worse state of mind to help that person!

So what to do? Next time you say “I feel bad”, don’t beat yourself up – just be aware, catch yourself and think – what I can do help them? Is there actually something that I can do/say to help this person? How can I show them that I care without feeling bad? What compassionate thing can I do or say that can improve the situation? Sometimes it is just saying, “I care.”

You can care about someone or something even without ‘feeling bad’ for them.

Think of a new and different way to express your care and compassion.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

BONUS:

Words as Self-Sabotage Stop inflicting damage on yourself with the words you use. Writer, Rishawn Biddle, shares 3 simple steps to stop sabotaging yourself with your words, and how to prime yourself for success. Read Article »

 

The Science of Words Why are words and self-talk so powerful? How can they help lead better lives? Writer, Erin Wildermuth, shows you the surprising benefits of self-talk and how they’re backed by science. Read Article »

Speak Well of Your Spouse The health of your marriage affects the impact of your leadership. So it’s important to speak well of your spouse. In this article, Michael reveals 5 reasons why it’s important to create a habit of speaking well about your spouse, and how it will affect your leadership.

 

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