Frey Freyday – Identity

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

 i·den·ti·ty – ˌīˈden(t)ədē/ -noun: -the fact of being who or what a person or thing is.

 Food is not rational. Food is culture, habit, craving and identity. Jonathan Safran Foer –

The ego is only an illusion, but a very influential one. Letting the ego-illusion become your identity can prevent you from knowing your true self. Ego, the false idea of believing that you are what you have or what you do, is a backwards way of assessing and living life. Wayne Dyer –

In the egoic state, your sense of self, your identity, is derived from your thinking mind – in other words, what your mind tells you about yourself: the storyline of you, the memories, the expectations, all the thoughts that go through your head continuously and the emotions that reflect those thoughts. All those things make up your sense of self. Eckhart Tolle –

An identity would seem to be arrived at by the way in which the person faces and uses his experience. James Baldwin –

We have to really educate ourselves in a way about who we are, what our real identity is. Deepak Chopra –

Identity – something that we believe about ourselves that influences what we do, what we see, how we act, and in most instances, most of the aspects of our life. It can be changed.

So today when you woke up, did you buy a pack of cigarettes?

For those of you who are not smokers you said, “No!”. Why? Because your identity is a non-smoker. You might answer the question, “No, I am not a smoker.” Smokers identify as such and therefore would answer yes.

If I asked, ‘did you kill anyone?”, might gasp and strongly say “No!”. (Same here.)

Why? Because we do not identify ourselves as murderers. Our identity is such that we are averse to anything that a murderer would do, think, and “BE”.

Those are two stark, clear examples of Identity. Each day we deal with many more less clear examples.

  • Are we someone who follows through and finishes things.
  • Do we speak up?
  • Are we giving?
  • Do we have self-integrity, do we do the right thing even when others are not looking?
  • Do we eat healthy? Do we exercise?

All of these things, and many more small incremental things, are part of our identity. Our identities can help and empower us, or they can hinder or hold us back.

How many times have you heard someone say: “I wasn’t (or was) raised like that”? And why does that matter to us? It matters because you have sourced your identity from your childhood, and from the person who raised you, so those are the beliefs you will always align yourself with.

When you were a child, whose love did you crave the most? By examining your childhood, and understanding whose love you craved most, you can get a more clear explanation of why you see yourself the way you do.

Realize this, your identity (and many of the preconceptions that you have about the world) was created when you were a child. For many of us, the identity and preconceptions have not changed! Do you think that some of these things could and should be updated? It might be empowering, enjoyable, healthy, and better for us to examine what our identity is and if it is accurate.

So, our identity can affect almost everything in our life. If you want to lose weight, if you want to go and invest in real estate, go volunteer, go bring in new leads or business, go for a new goal in life.

I can say that I want to do something and even start doing some actions toward that, but if it is not congruent with my identity, I will face a lot of internal resistance.

Example; I know that my identity is no longer that of a long-distance runner. If I decided to run a marathon, training would be so difficult and I would likely fall-off the regimen because that is not my identity. For others, they get up at 5am in all kinds of weather and run for miles – it IS their identity. But we can change our identity.

  • If we want to become someone else, we must do things outside our comfort zone and we have to imagine ourselves as we want things to be – like Stephen Covey said – think from the end.
  • You are where your attention is.
  • Ask, “Who would I be, what would I do, how would I feel if I already had _________” –Jim Fortin
  • What characteristics would you have as the person that you want to be? (responsible, leader, visionary, commitment, integrity)
  • See things as you want them to be, not as they are.
  • Never say, “I can’t do it because ______”, instead say, “What if I could ______?”
  • Catch yourself and ask better questions.
  • Imagine the ‘new you’.
  • Claim your identity in the present tense. Example: “I am a writer.” And ask “Why am I a writer?”

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can

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