Frey Freyday – Goodbyes

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

goodbye-noun good·bye \ gu̇d-ˈbī , gə(d)- \ – a concluding remark or gesture at parting —often used interjectionally : a taking of leave

It’s time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad and I’d much rather say hello. Hello to a new adventure. Ernie Harwell –

Saying goodbye doesn’t mean anything. It’s the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it. Trey Parker –

Anyone with a heart, with a family, has experienced loss. No one escapes unscathed. Every story of separation is different, but I think we all understand that basic, wrenching emotion that comes from saying goodbye, not knowing if we’ll see that person again – or perhaps knowing that we won’t. Luanne Rice –

As you say goodbye to lingering disappointments and unattended grief, you will discover that every person, situation and painful incident comes bearing gifts. Debbie Ford

You and I will meet again, When we’re least expecting it, One day in some far off place, I will recognize your face, I won’t say goodbye my friend, For you and I will meet again. Tom Petty –

Imagine feeling like every kiss goodbye to your loved ones each day might be your last kiss. Police officers and their families feel this way every single day. Karen Salmansohn –

Word To LIVE By:

 Goodbye – Sometimes we need to ponder the ‘ultimate goodbye’ to help us put things into perspective. A loss, or a scare of a loss, can remind us that life is short, we need to get busy living.

In the past two weeks, I was reminded, twice, how fragile life might be; how someone precious to me could be taken away in just a moment. With great thanks and happiness, in both cases, this person was totally fine; one instance was a false alarm, the other was an accident and she walked away from it.

It did remind me of a time when I lost loved ones. It reminded me of my own mortality. It reminded me of how short life can be. It reminded me how we all sometimes forget how precious things are – how precious our lives are. It reminded me how we all get caught up in daily ‘things’ and often overlook more important things.

YOLO – ‘you only live once’. An expression used and texted often by many. I’m not sure that it is the best representation of things but it does help bring into focus, at least on a superficial level, the need to pause, reflect, appreciate, and really live our lives.

When we lose someone, it can help us remember that we should not waste time; that we should say things to our friends and loved ones now while we can, that we should love one another and be kind now, and that we should not let fear hold us back from doing something.

When we lose someone, or have a scare like I mentioned above, we can react in a number of ways. There isn’t a ‘bad’ or ‘good’ way, and this isn’t a judgement on how we react but certainly how we react will determine the consequences/results and what happens next. Jack Canfield has a ‘formula’ E+R=O (Events + Responses=Outcome). So when we lose a loved one, how we respond can make a difference. Do you reflect and say something like, “I have great memories with that person” and/or “it reminds me to get up and get moving to live my own life”, or “people/relationship mean a lot”, or, “life is painful/relationships are painful/messy” or “I’m scared”, etc.

Understand that your initial feeling of pain, hurt, sadness, anger is not good or bad. We are human and we are emotional. We feel. But it does matter what you do next. It matters how we respond. It matters what meaning we assign to an experience or event. It matters how we integrate that into ‘our story’ and identity.

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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