Frey Freyday – Goodbyes

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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goodbye-noun good·bye \ gu̇d-ˈbī , gə(d)- \ – a concluding remark or gesture at parting —often used interjectionally : a taking of leave

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It’s time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad and I’d much rather say hello. Hello to a new adventure. Ernie Harwell –

Saying goodbye doesn’t mean anything. It’s the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it. Trey Parker –

Anyone with a heart, with a family, has experienced loss. No one escapes unscathed. Every story of separation is different, but I think we all understand that basic, wrenching emotion that comes from saying goodbye, not knowing if we’ll see that person again – or perhaps knowing that we won’t. Luanne Rice –

As you say goodbye to lingering disappointments and unattended grief, you will discover that every person, situation and painful incident comes bearing gifts. Debbie Ford

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You and I will meet again, When we’re least expecting it, One day in some far off place, I will recognize your face, I won’t say goodbye my friend, For you and I will meet again. Tom Petty –

Imagine feeling like every kiss goodbye to your loved ones each day might be your last kiss. Police officers and their families feel this way every single day. Karen Salmansohn –

Word To LIVE By:

 Goodbye – Sometimes we need to ponder the ‘ultimate goodbye’ to help us put things into perspective. A loss, or a scare of a loss, can remind us that life is short, we need to get busy living.

In the past two weeks, I was reminded, twice, how fragile life might be; how someone precious to me could be taken away in just a moment. With great thanks and happiness, in both cases, this person was totally fine; one instance was a false alarm, the other was an accident and she walked away from it.

It did remind me of a time when I lost loved ones. It reminded me of my own mortality. It reminded me of how short life can be. It reminded me how we all sometimes forget how precious things are – how precious our lives are. It reminded me how we all get caught up in daily ‘things’ and often overlook more important things.

YOLO – ‘you only live once’. An expression used and texted often by many. I’m not sure that it is the best representation of things but it does help bring into focus, at least on a superficial level, the need to pause, reflect, appreciate, and really live our lives.

When we lose someone, it can help us remember that we should not waste time; that we should say things to our friends and loved ones now while we can, that we should love one another and be kind now, and that we should not let fear hold us back from doing something.

When we lose someone, or have a scare like I mentioned above, we can react in a number of ways. There isn’t a ‘bad’ or ‘good’ way, and this isn’t a judgement on how we react but certainly how we react will determine the consequences/results and what happens next. Jack Canfield has a ‘formula’ E+R=O (Events + Responses=Outcome). So when we lose a loved one, how we respond can make a difference. Do you reflect and say something like, “I have great memories with that person” and/or “it reminds me to get up and get moving to live my own life”, or “people/relationship mean a lot”, or, “life is painful/relationships are painful/messy” or “I’m scared”, etc.

Understand that your initial feeling of pain, hurt, sadness, anger is not good or bad. We are human and we are emotional. We feel. But it does matter what you do next. It matters how we respond. It matters what meaning we assign to an experience or event. It matters how we integrate that into ‘our story’ and identity.

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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Frey Freyday – Understand

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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un·der·stand -[ˌəndərˈstand]-VERB-perceive the intended meaning of (words, a language, or speaker): be sympathetically or knowledgeably aware of the character or nature of:

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Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better. Albert Einstein –

One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood. Lucius Annaeus Seneca –

True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us. Socrates –

Listen with the intent to understand, not the intent to reply. Stephen Covey –

There are big problems that change the world. If we are working together, that will make us understand each other, appreciate each other, help each other. Jack Ma

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When you really know somebody you can’t hate them. Or maybe it’s just that you can’t really know them until you stop hating them. Orson Scott Card, –

Seeing things from a different point of view can help us understand why other people act the way they do. We too often judge people without having all the facts. Sean Covey –

Culture makes people understand each other better. And if they understand each other better in their soul, it is easier to overcome the economic and political barriers. But first they have to understand that their neighbour is, in the end, just like them, with the same problems, the same questions. Paulo Coelho –

WORDS TO LIVE BY:

 UNDERSTAND – to really listen, process, respect and consider something.

For all of time, humans have had conflict with each other, and in some ways, with themselves. Today, it does seem like the world has more conflict but I believe things are generally for the better – but our perception is that there is more conflict due to the huge variety and sheer volume of news media, social media available instantly and the 24/7 news cycle.

However, there is definitely division in our country. In some ways there has always been, I suppose; black/white, rich/poor, Republican/Democrat, us/them – sometimes the emotions get the best of us rather than the facts. BOTH sides are guilty of it.

I think that we all probably could benefit from trying to understand each other a little more.

I was talking about this to a friend and he thought that understanding someone else was giving the advantage away to the other person. In other words, he essentially said (and I paraphrase), “Understanding someone else is nice and altruistic but how does that help me?” Understanding someone else better will definitely help us – in a relationship, in negotiations, in business, in education, in politics, in medicine….so many things.

See, if we’re trying to negotiate something, if we better understand the other person, we can see what makes them tick and I believe we can better get what is important to both parties then.

If we better understand the other side, we can better communicate. Isn’t basically everything about communication? Politics, business, education, medicine, relationships? To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different and by better understanding each other we can communicate better, we can connect better, we can build better relationships, gain access, convince others, relay our message, and overall ‘be heard.’

Often I think of the concept, ‘position paper’. A position paper is an essay that presents an opinion about an issue , typically that of the author or another specified entity; such as a political party. Position papers are published in academia, in politics, in law and other domains. Often someone will prepare a position paper for the other side’s point of view. To do this, the author has to understand their adversary. A position paper prepares the attorney/politician/student/whomever better because they know the other viewpoints.

So many times we only see our point of view. Maybe it is with our politics, our kids, our spouse, or in the checkout line in the supermarket. Understanding takes effort. Understanding requires that we take a breath, calm down and think about things for a moment – it isn’t our visceral, knee-jerk reaction.

Sometimes we get so mad and hateful with each other – this is a clear sign that we don’t understand the other side or the other person. This is the easy way. It is often based in fear, if we look deep and if we’re honest about it. Understanding is a little harder but once we understand a person or point of view, the world opens up.

I recently read a great article; it spoke of two men; one was an African-American that was angry with white men. He was prejudice, angry, and in many ways hated white people. He decided to go ‘undercover’ on social media and he joined (under a fake name as a white man) a few white supremacist groups online. Over time, he communicated with white supremacists. He began to understand them. He no longer saw them as monsters. He saw that much of it came from fear, from one-sided thinking (much like his own). The other story spoke about a former white-supremacist; for generations, his family was part of the KKK and even a group similar to the skin-heads. For many years he was angry, he spoke out against African-Americans and really all non-whites. Then he met a man that started to speak with him differently. He helped him understand the other side. He realized that he never even thought about the other side. He realized that he never knew how much “they” were like his own family and friends.

Basically we all want a better life for ourselves, our family and when we feel threatened, some of us shut down and react in a certain way. Many people are lonely, scared, self-absorbed, emotional – we are wired that way from evolution – but to grow and improve we need to act like an evolved person rather than a simple human. An open-mind and open-heart is a step up that we all can benefit from….

In order to understand people you don’t just need to put yourself in their shoes but you need to feel the emotions they experience…. Ex. OK you’re angry; so is the other guy, we know why you’re angry; let’s think why he is…..

We can’t help ourselves without understanding us either. We need to be aware of our own strengths and weaknesses, our biases, be aware of our priorities and we need to assess our progress in life. Sometimes we have anger and hate for others because of misunderstandings that we have with ourselves. We tend to underestimate this.

Parting thoughts:

If I could be you and you could be me for just one hour If we could finda way to get inside each others mind If you could see you through my eyes instead of your ego I believe you’d be surprised to see that you’d been blind Walk a mile in why shoes, walk a mile in my shoes Yeah, before you abuse, criticize and accuse, walk a mile in my shoes

(see full lyrics below)

From; “Walk a mile in my shoes” Songwriters: JOE SOUTH © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, THE BICYCLE MUSIC COMPANY

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Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

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BONUS : LYRICS FROM THE SONG “Walk a Mile in my Shoes”

If I could be you and you could be me for just one hour If we could find a way to get inside each others mind If you could see you through my eyes instead of your ego I believe you’d be surprised to see that you’d been blind Walk a mile in why shoes, walk a mile in my shoes Yeah, before you abuse, criticize and accuse, walk a mile in my shoes

Well, your whole world around you is just a reflection And the law of common says you’re gonna reap just what you sow

[spoken:] Yes, you will

So unless you’ve lived a life of total perfection Mm-mm, you’d better be careful of evey stone that you should throw

[spoken] Yeah, yeah

Yet we spend the day throwin’ stones at one another ‘Cause I don’t think or wear my hair the same way you do Well, I may be common people but I’m your brother And when you strike out and try to hurt me it’s a-hurtin’ you

[spoken] Lord, have mercy

Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes Yeah, before you abuse, criticize and accuse, walk a mile in my shoes

There are people on reservations and out in the ghettos And brother, there, but for the grace of God, go you and I

[spoken] Yeah, yeah

If I only had the wings of little angels don’tcha you know I’d fly To the top of the mountain andthen I’d cry?

[spoken] Yeah

Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes Oh, before you abuse, crticize and accuse, walk a mile in my shoes

[spoken] Yeah

Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes Hey, before you abuse, criticize and accuse, walk a mile in my shoes.

Songwriters: JOE SOUTH © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, THE BICYCLE MUSIC COMPANY

Frey Freyday – Questions

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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New Year’s Day. A fresh start. A new chapter in life waiting to be written. New questions to be asked, embraced, and loved. Answers to be discovered and then lived in this transformative year of delight and self-discovery. Today carve out a quiet interlude for yourself in which to dream, pen in hand. Only dreams give birth to change.-Sarah Ban Breathnach

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Culture makes people understand each other better. And if they understand each other better in their soul, it is easier to overcome the economic and political barriers. But first they have to understand that their neighbour is, in the end, just like them, with the same problems, the same questions.-Paulo Coelho

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Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone’s face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions. I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come.-Henri Nouwen

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Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.-Voltaire

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Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions – Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead.-Chanakya

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To raise new questions, new possibilities, to regard old problems from a new angle, requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science.-Albert Einstein

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I don’t pretend we have all the answers. But the questions are certainly worth thinking about.-Arthur C. Clarke

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The wise man doesn’t give the right answers, he poses the right questions.-Claude Levi-Strauss

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Word to Live By:

question-[kwes-chuh n] –a matter for discussion or under discussion; a matter for investigation. to dispute; challenge; to explore, investigate, ponder

–(This is a favorite one of mine)

The quality of your life is not necessarily based on the quality of your circumstances, it is based upon our perception – and the questions (and self-talk) we ask each day.

Here is a good question for when you have a ‘bad day’:

“What’s great about this situation you’re not seeing right now?”

Your brain is very much like a computer. When you ask a question, you will get a response. Submit negative questions and you will get negative responses.

We all ask ourselves questions each and every day, all day, whether we realize it or not. They say we have up to 60,000 thoughts running through our minds each day, and many of these are questions. Are they good questions? Are they useful? Do they empower us?

When we ask “What is wrong with me?” or “What can’t I be ___?” or “Why am I lazy?” or “Why do I struggle?” – these questions almost never help us. Remember, part of your brain is like a computer. It is a wonderful problem solving organ/tool. We can ponder on a problem, sleep on it, and when we least expect it – maybe in the shower, while driving, often in some relaxed state of mind, boom- the answer pops into our conscious mind.

So when you ask your unconscious something, it goes out and looks for the answer. When you ask yourself, “Why can’t I “ …do something OR “Why do I struggle?” your brain will search for an answer or answers. So why don’t you change those around and ask empowering questions instead?

 

• So …..we really need to catch ourselves each and every day -…..interrupt the pattern…..stop the disempowering thoughts and questions….then replace it with an empowering question…….

“Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.”  – Tony Robbins

1. What is something I can do for someone else today?
2. What is something I can do to add value to the world today?
3. What is something that I have to offer other people?
4. Why am I happy?
5. What do I enjoy about this…?

Parting questions, for fun…..

Why do you think that “Frey Freyday” is so good?
Why do you want to email a great comment?

Why do you want to tell your friend about this email series?

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

Frey Freyday – Possibilities

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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pos·si·bil·i·ties –[ˌpäsəˈbilədē] –NOUN- a thing that may be chosen or done out of several possible alternatives:

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The goal of education is not to increase the amount of knowledge but to create the possibilities for a child to invent and discover, to create men who are capable of doing new things. Jean Piaget
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My favourite words are possibilities, opportunities and curiosity. I think if you are curious, you create opportunities, and then if you open the doors, you create possibilities. Mario Testino
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The possibilities are numerous once we decide to act and not react. George Bernard Shaw
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One’s only rival is one’s own potentialities. One’s only failure is failing to live up to one’s own possibilities. In this sense, every man can be a king, and must therefore be treated like a king. Abraham Maslow
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Stop thinking in terms of limitations and start thinking in terms of possibilities. Terry Josephson
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WORDS TO LIVE BY

Possibilities – Everyday we wake up and we have a world of possibilities before us. All is possible, all is open.

I don’t have much to add. Each day we have so many opportunities and possibilities before us. I know that I tend to overlook this. We get in our routines, we limit our focus and we don’t see all of what we can do and all of what is before us.

Think about the time when you didn’t think something was possible – or maybe you just didn’t even think about it at all – and then one day that all changed. The doors opened and now you see things different. A different perspective, more wisdom, more opportunities, more options.

Often we don’t know or appreciate what is really possible for each of us, but we need to push ourselves.

One day there can be an idea, a concept, a possibility….and then with time, effort, focus this possibility becomes a reality.

I am trying to keep my eyes open to more possibilities each day.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

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BONUS : Watch “Limitless Possibilities – Motivational Video for Success in Life” on YouTube

https://youtu.be/K5DlHo53mJQ

A quick thought

No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.

Tony Robbins