Monthly Archives: September 2017

Frey Freyday – Suffering

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

suf·fer·ing-[ˈsəf(ə)riNG]-the state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship:

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. Helen Keller

Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for. Bob Marley

Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable… Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals. Martin Luther King, Jr.

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars. Khalil Gibran

God wants us to know that life is a series of beginnings, not endings. Just as graduations are not terminations, but commencements. Creation is an ongoing process, and when we create a perfect world where love and compassion are shared by all, suffering will cease. Bernie Siegel

WORD TO LIVE BY:
SUFFERING- a result of our circumstances, situations, focus and framing. We can languish in it, learn from it, grow from it.

 

We, as a race, endure suffering – emotional, physical, mental, etc. Our health, our relationships, our environment – there is suffering.

From suffering, we learn from our mistakes. As a human, suffering is part of our life, we know that we’re alive and living.There are perhaps a few times when we may focus on our suffering too much.

 

There is a book called, “The Art of Living” by Thich Nhat Hanh

One of the things stated by the author goes like this: We should not be afraid of suffering. We should be afraid of only one thing, and that is not knowing how to deal with our suffering. Handling our suffering is an art. If we know how to suffer, we suffer much less, and we’re no longer afraid of being overwhelmed by the suffering inside. The energy of mindfulness helps us recognize, acknowledge, and embrace the presence of the suffering, which can already bring some calm and relief.

 

So what? Often most of us, when a painful feeling comes up, we may try to suppress the pain. For all sorts of reasons, we may feel guilty or embarrassed or we don’t feel comfortable when our feelings of suffering surface. Many of us cover up the feelings, resist them, ignore them. Instead, the author and others suggest that we should just accept those feelings, allow the suffering to surface so we can clearly identify it and embrace it. Don’t judge it or label it. When we recognize and accept our difficult feelings and emotions, we begin to feel more at peace. Accept the feeling, learn what it may really mean, and then just release it.

 

Again, as the book’s author states, “We shouldn’t run away from it or cover it up with consumption, distraction, or diversion. We should simply recognize it and embrace it, like a mother lovingly embracing a crying baby in her arms. The mother is mindfulness, and the crying baby is suffering.”

 

Our society and our race is wired to focus on suffering and fear. We need to be aware of that and work to focus on better things.

 

As a nation, we definitely overly compensate in regards to physical pain and suffering. I recently read that the U.S. has 14% of the world’s population but we use 80% of the world’s pain killers (mostly opiods). We also use alcohol, we use social media and our devices, we escape our feelings in different ways, sometimes without acknowledging or accepting them. If we don’t accept and face the suffering, we can’t move on.

 

There are a few of us that also get caught up in the suffering from time to time. We all do it. We get self-centered and see our suffering first. We may blow it out of proportion at times.

Too much self-centered attitude, you see, brings, you see, isolation. Result: loneliness, fear, anger. The extreme self-centered attitude is the source of suffering. Dalai Lama

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

 BONUS: a quick video about suffering and stress

https://www.inc.com/video/tony-robbins-this-is-the-most-important-decision-youll-ever-make.html

Advertisements

Frey Freyday – Stress

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

STRESS- [stres] -physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension

If you don’t think your anxiety, depression, sadness and stress impact your physical health, think again. All of these emotions trigger chemical reactions in your body, which can lead to inflammation and a weakened immune system. Learn how to cope, sweet friend. There will always be dark days. Kris Carr

Putting in slightly less effort in times of high stress doesn’t mean you don’t care about your job; it means you care about yourself more. Kelly O’Laughlin

In times of great stress or adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive. Lee Iacocca

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. William James

Its not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it. Hans Selye

Your mindset matters. It affects everything – from the business and investment decisions you make, to the way you raise your children, to your stress levels and overall well-being. Peter Diamandis

Research shows you get multiple tasks done faster if you do them one at a time. It also decreases stress and raises happiness. Shawn Achor

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it. George Burns

Word to Live By:

Stress – strain, tension – often perceived or self-imposed – about a situation or thought

For achievers, stress is the word for fear. Typically fear of failure, fear of not meeting expectations, fear of not completing the task.

Sometimes when people ‘get stressed’, they prefer not to think, they avoid the situation, even escape in some manner. However, it is at that time when they need to focus and think.

Many people, and myself included, sometimes let ‘life run them’. Sometimes we left life happen to us, instead of having a plan or strategy and going out there and making things happen and taking some control over what we can control. Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management.

Sometimes we also get stressed about things that we can’t change. We get stressed by the weather, for instance. It is something we all have to deal with but we can’t change – so really why bother?

Also, being prepared helps reduce stress. If you have to do something without practice or preparation, you’re stressed. If you prepare and practice, you’ll feel more comfortable, confident and have less stress. (All things that we already know but it’s good to remind ourselves, from time to time.)
I think that it is helpful to distinguish between stress and stimulation. Having deadlines, setting goals, and pushing yourself to perform at capacity are stimulating. Stress is when you’re anxious, upset, or frustrated, and these things dramatically reduce your ability to perform.
Letting go helps us to to live in a more peaceful state of mind and helps restore our balance. It allows others to be responsible and allows us to take our hands off situations that do not belong to us. This frees us from unnecessary stress.
Decades ago, most workers faced all sorts of stress – what I refer to as ‘real stress’ – physical labor, long hours, lack of safe conditions, more trying times. Today, many of us really don’t experience this same stress – we have time stresses, self-imposed stress, achiever’s stress, and more perceived stress. I think it is important to be aware of when you’re stress; be aware, accept it, and then ask what you can do to improve the situation or handle it differently.

Exercise, meditation, being aware and interrupting the stressful thoughts are easy ways to release stress. Next time you get stressed about something, catch yourself. It’s OK. Now interrupt that thought, take some deep breaths and think about something else.

To put things into perspective; think about something that you stressed about several years ago. Was it really that bad or important? Tony Robbins said something like, “Ten years from now you’ll laugh at whatever’s stressing you out today. So why not laugh now?”

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

BONUS  : How to make stress your friend

 

Stress. It makes your heart pound, your breathing quicken and your forehead sweat. But while stress has been made into a public health enemy, new research suggests that stress may only be bad for you if you believe that to be the case. Psychologist Kelly McGonigal urges us to see stress as a positive, and introduces us to an unsung mechanism for stress reduction: reaching out to others.

https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend

Article: For Teens Knee-Deep In Negativity, Reframing Thoughts Can Help

For Teens Knee-Deep In Negativity, Reframing Thoughts Can Help

http://flip.it/84Barj

Frey Freyday – leader series-Bruce Lee

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

This ‘leader-series’ is a sub-set of Frey Freydays – celebrities, influencers, icons and other people that are well-known that, although not perfect, have led an inspirational life in some way or have made some contribution to society, etc. and people from which we can learn. In no order and certainly the list is un-ending.

-BRUCE LEE

If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.

I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.

Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless and add what is specifically your own.

To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.

Real living is living for others.

The more we value things, the less we value ourselves.

Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger or faster man. But sooner or later the man who wins, is the man who thinks he can.

If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.

Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.

Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow, or it can crash. Be water, my friend.

WORDS TO LIVE BY:

“Be like water….” – Be flexible, resilient, learn, adapt, be open-minded, do not concern yourself with labels.

July 2017 marked the 44th anniversary of Bruce Lee’s death. Bruce Lee lived a short but very impactful life. He is remembered today as the figure who popularized Kung Fu and Jeet Kune Do around the world.

Most people think of Bruce as just a movie star and/or someone ‘who did kung fu’. I found out that he was more than that….

As a young adult I learned about Bruce Lee from “karate movies”. One day I bought a book that he wrote. I was surprised to find that it was quite good and contained content about philosophy, life, and principles for living life. Bruce was a philosophy major in college and spent a lot of time thinking about this sort of thing.

Some people may know that the form of “Kung Fu” he developed, called Jeet Kune Do has been referred to as  “Using no way as way” and “Having no limitation as limitation”.

He was often asked if he formed a new form of martial arts.  Bruce said, “On the contrary, I hope to free my followers from clinging to styles, patterns, or molds.”

So in other words, Bruce learned many different types of karate, fighting, wrestling, grappling, even American-style boxing, etc. Bruce then tried to ‘combine’ and pick the best traits out of each of those for his style, to put it very simply. So his fighting style did not have the rigid, formal limitations and they were not bound by certain guidelines. His point: in one situation you may need traits of one style, another situation will require different traits.

Similarly, in life, Bruce formed a great philosophy with this in mind. He studied many philosophies and religions and learned from each of them. He tried to incorporate the best of each into his life without getting caught up in the limitations of each.

If you reference the quote above “Absorb what is useful, ….” It implies that one should study and learn, and use the best of each to make oneself better.

As he stated it, “The extraordinary part of it lies in its simplicity.” This applied to his fighting style and to his philosophy in life. Again in life or fighting, Bruce Lee emphasized that every situation is different. To obtain victory in life or in a fight it is essential not to be rigid, but to be fluid and able to adapt to any situation.

In reference to the famous quote above, “Be like water…”,  Bruce’s theory behind this was that one must be able to function in any scenario one is thrown into. As he said it, ‘One should know when to speed up or slow down, when to expand and when to contract, and when to remain flowing and when to crash. It is the awareness that both life and fighting can be shapeless and ever changing that allows one to be able to adapt to those changes instantaneously and bring forth the appropriate solution.’

Lee did not believe in “styles” and felt that every person and every situation is different and not everyone fits into a mold; one must remain flexible in order to obtain new knowledge and victory in both life and combat. One must never become stagnant in the mind or method, always evolving and moving towards improving oneself.( Little, John (1973). Bruce Lee: In His Own Words (DVD). Warner Brothers.)

 

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

You can read more at www.onewebstrategy.com

Change Your Self-Talk — Be Inspired!

What can we do if we find a lot of our self-talk is less than loving? We can replace any less than loving self-talk with loving words. As soon as we catch ourselves saying less than loving things to ourselves, we can put ourselves on pause. We can come up with loving statements to replace it with. I […]

via Change Your Self-Talk — Be Inspired!

%d bloggers like this: