Monthly Archives: May 2017

A nice quick thought….read!

Let’s see… It’s impossible to fail. Everything works out in your favor. The elements conspire on your behalf. There are always more reasons to be happy. Millions of lives are touched by yours. Thousands have thought of you fondly. Hundreds have called you their friend. You can have anything you dream of. Things just keep getting better. And you live forever.

Too unbelievable for a Hollywood script,  except this… is your life.

And I’m just getting warmed up,
The Universe

(www.tut.com)

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Frey Freyday – Preconceived / Priming

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Preconceived notion – an opinion formed beforehand without adequate evidence;

Priming is an implicit memory effect in which exposure to one stimulus (i.e., perceptual pattern) influences the response to another stimulus.

I think if you let go of preconceived ideas, you’ll find everything in this life. Jon Anderson

I think most of us are raised with preconceived notions of the choices we’re supposed to make. We waste so much time making decisions based on someone else’s idea of our happiness – what will make you a good citizen or a good wife or daughter or actress. Sandra Bullock

Synergy is what happens when one plus one equals ten or a hundred or even a thousand! It’s the profound result when two or more respectful human beings determine to go beyond their preconceived ideas to meet a great challenge. Stephen Covey

It’s not really about the competition. Your biggest challenge in a race is yourself. You’re often racing against time. You’re frequently running everything through your mind. You’re always competing against preconceived ideas. It’s not really the person next to you that you worry about. Summer Sanders

 Preconceived notions are the locks on the door to wisdom. Mary Browne

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Preconceived Notions and Priming – We all have preconceived notions. Some are evident, some are hidden. Some are learned. Some are old, some are new. Priming has and can influence these notions and how we perceive emotions, people, experiences, and circumstances each day.

The bad news: We’re not wired for happiness; we are wired for anxiety.  As Tony Robbins once explained, “We are wired for what’s wrong. We are wired for survival, which means our brain is constantly looking for anything that could hurt us. This serves us well when we’re crossing a busy intersection, but it does not serve us if we permanently live in that emotional state, always fearing what danger might lurk around the corner.

In other words, your brain is not designed to make you happy. It’s your job to make you happy. 

The good news is that you can prime your own thoughts. If you are aware of your notions, bias, and situation, you can control and frame your world.

It is true that you get to choose which emotions you want to experience the most. Because your unconscious beliefs drive your emotions, you first need to address the beliefs you have about money, love, work, etc. You can influence these situations with priming. In this instance, priming can also refer to a technique in psychology used to train a person’s memory in both positive and negative ways..

What is priming? Priming is thought to play a large part in the systems of stereotyping. We can be primed to discriminate against people by being exposed to subtle, but negative, cues. Priming literally can affect how we act, move, think.

For example, a person who sees the word “yellow” will be slightly faster to recognize the word “banana.” This happens because yellow and banana are closely associated in memory.

Try it yourself – As a friend to look around the room and try to find all of the red things in the room.

Now, tell your friend to close their eyes and think about all of the things that are Yellow. Yes, yellow. When they open their eyes, the yellow things will seem more brilliant.

An example of this was done by Bargh et al. in 1996. Subjects were implicitly primed with words related to the stereotype of elderly people (example: Florida, forgetful, wrinkle). While the words did not explicitly mention speed or slowness, those who were primed with these words walked more slowly upon exiting the testing booth than those who were primed with neutral stimuli.[42] Similar effects were found with rude and polite stimuli: those primed with rude words were more likely to interrupt an investigator than those primed with neutral words, and those primed with polite words were the least likely to interrupt.[42]

What if you primed your day with compassion, love, abundance, giving, goals, and positive things?

Question: do you think that the news primes us well to do anything other than be negative?

Remember, your brain is naturally looking for what’s wrong, concerned about survival, and your brain is constantly looking for anything that could hurt you. Again, that’s OK to a point but that won’t help you invest for your retirement, be loving with a mate, achieve goals, be compassionate, or be happy or fulfilled.

You have to take control and prime your state of mind, your physiology and focus.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

 

 

BONUS

A priming exercise you can use everyday

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/priming-exercise/

 

Footnote

42 -“Automaticity of Social Behavior: Direct Effects of Trait Construct and Stereotype Activation on Action”. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

For a better quality of life, answer these 3 questions

Tony Robbins: Answer these 3 questions for a better quality of life
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Sunday, 21 May 2017 | 11:30 AM ET

 

Getty Images | Noam Galai
Tony Robbins

Whether it’s having a more successful business, a healthier body, a stronger relationship or all of the above, people are always on the lookout for ways to improve.

The good news is everyone has the power to create a better quality of life, says author and entrepreneur Tony Robbins, speaking recently at Oprah Winfrey’s SuperSoul Sessions. The key is answering these three questions:

1. What are you going to focus on?

People tend to focus more on what’s missing from their lives, says Robbins. That’s not always a bad thing – it’s important when you want to make a change, he explains, “but when you do it as an ongoing pattern, how are you going to feel when you’re always focusing on what’s missing from your life? Awful.

A post shared by Tony Robbins (@tonyrobbins) on May 15, 2017 at 8:04am PDT

“When you’re in an awful state, do you feel like changing things? No, it sucks the energy out of you,” says Robbins. “If you focus on what you don’t have, it’s very hard to succeed.”

Instead, become clear about what you want and get obsessed with it, because that combination of emotion and vision is what will drive you.

“We need to get laser focused on what it is we really want,” he advises. “Having a clear result or outcome and consistently focusing on it immediately changes your behavior, giving you the momentum” to achieve.

“Execution trumps knowledge every day of the week.” -Tony Robbins, business strategist

2. What meaning are you going to give things?

“The meaning you give events, interactions and outcomes determines how you feel,” explains Robbins. “By creating a ladder of positive and empowering meanings, you effectively change the direction of your life and provide yourself rational, proven reasons your success will continue.”

3. What are you going to do?

“Knowledge is not power, it’s potential power,” says Robbins during SuperSoul Sessions. “Execution trumps knowledge every day of the week.”

Most people get inspired to make a change, then end up doing nothing about it.

Robbins says the smartest thing he does is refuse to “learn something or make a decision about something valuable without making myself do something in the moment that commits me to follow through.”

Everyone who wants change should do the same, Robbins says, whether that’s scheduling a meeting or telling someone else what you’re committing to, because if you hesitate, a million distractions will come up and you’ll lose your momentum.

30 Morning Routines That Can Make You Motivated and Productive for a Whole Day

30 Morning Routines That Can Make You Motivated and Productive for a Whole Day


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 at lifehack.org

You forgot to set your wake-up alarm. As you slowly come to consciousness, you begin to panic, as you realize that you’re going to be extremely late for work. You have a quick shower, brush your teeth, and then hurriedly put your clothes on. There’s no time for any food or drink – so you head out the door stressed, thirsty and downright miserable.

Does this sound familiar to you? I’m sure you’ve had mornings like this. And as you know, they’re the worst possible way to start the day.

Your Morning Routine Determines the Rest of Your Day

In 2016, researchers from the University of Pennsylvania and Ohio State University studied call center staff working for an insurance company.1

They specifically looked at the mood of the call center staff throughout their working day. The three-week study discovered something interesting. Namely, staff who started the day in a bad mood, usually ended the day in a bad mood too. (This was despite them receiving calls from positive customers throughout the day.)

Staff who started their day calm or happy – finished their working day in the same upbeat emotional state. Furthermore, the study found that staff with low moods had low productivity. Staff with elevated moods demonstrated high productivity.

So, as you can see from the above revelations, it’s vital that you start your day well.

Transform Your Life with These 30 Morning Routines

If you’re prone to starting off your day in a gloomy and stressed state, then you’ll be sure to benefit from the suggestions below.

1. Wake up on time.

Waking up on time (or even early) is critical to starting your day positively. It will give you space and time to complete your morning routines. And you won’t need to worry about rushing around your home.

2. Open your curtains.

One of the first things you should do upon rising is to open your bedroom curtains. I do this every morning, and I’ve found it to be a fantastic way to gradually wake up from my slumber. Personally, I open the curtains, and then sit on the end of the bed for a few minutes. This allows me to enjoy the morning light streaming through my window.

3. Make your bed.

Remember your student days? Making your bed was probably the last thing you thought about when you were stumbling out of it in the morning. This habit may be okay for students, but if you want to accelerate your motivation and productivity – you should definitely make your bed. It takes less than a minute, and you’ll be rewarded by a tidy room, and a feeling of self-satisfaction.

4. Enjoy a refreshing shower.

I’m always amazed when people tell me that they didn’t have time to shower in the morning. Not only does that sound unhygienic, but it also suggests that these people haven’t learned to set a daily morning routine. A shower only takes 10 minutes or so, and it’s a great way to clean your body, and the perfect way to wake up.

5. Drink a freshly-blended smoothie.

Every morning, I enjoy a freshly-blended, fruit-based smoothie. This consists of organic milk and a small portion of fruit such as bananas, mangoes and strawberries. It’s a superb way to kick-start your day. Not only does it taste great, but it’s also full of antioxidants, vitamins and minerals. I used to drink tea first thing in a morning, but now, I find that smoothies are far more satisfying.

6. Take a 10-minute walk in the morning sunshine.

If you have a dog, then this will be an easy task for you. However, even if you don’t own a dog, why not try walking for 10 minutes outside every morning? If you’re lucky enough to live close to a park, then you could walk around the park before going to work. Fresh air and exercise are an invigorating combination.

7. Check your to-do list.

Organized people tend to have to-do lists. It helps them keep track of what needs doing at home, work and beyond. To-do lists can be paper-based, or you can use one of the many free apps that are available. The morning time is perfect for checking your to-do list, and prioritizing items for the day. You may also find that you can tick off some items that you completed the previous day.

8. Listen to some upbeat music.

Music is a powerful mood changer. If you’re not a typical morning person, then you can help to boost your physical and emotional state by listening to upbeat music. I won’t suggest specific artists, but simply try to choose music that makes you feel happy and lively. You could listen to this music while you shower, when you’re in your kitchen, or perhaps when you’re commuting to work.

9. Complete a mini workout.

If you have a home gym, then spend a few minutes each morning working out. This will rapidly wake you up, and increase your mental well-being. If you don’t have a home gym, you can still do a mini workout. For example, try doing sets of push-ups and sit-ups.

10. Review your goals.

Early morning can be an excellent time for contemplation. While you may want to think about trivial things, successful people often use this time to review their personal goals. You can do the same. For instance, if one of your goals is to start your own business, then use the morning time to come up with ideas to help move you towards this goal.

11. Pack some healthy snacks to take to work.

You may have started the day with a healthy breakfast, but have you noticed how easy it is for our diets to go downhill from there! As soon as we arrive at college or work, we begin looking for the coffee. Not long after that, we get peckish, and start seeking out cakes, biscuits and chocolate. Luckily, with a bit of preparation, you can avoid this situation. The trick is to pack into your bag some healthy snacks such as apples, bananas and nuts. These healthy treats will happily keep you going until lunchtime.

12. Declutter part of your home.

Unless your home is currently spotless and has nothing out of place, then you could spend a few minutes each morning decluttering an area of your home. Take your hallway, for example. This may have shoes and bags that could be tidied away in just a few minutes.

13. Meditate for 5 minutes.

Many high achievers say that they mediate each morning. This gives them balance and poise, before beginning their working day. Have you thought about trying meditation? Although there are different forms of meditation, the simplest method is to just close your eyes… control your breathing… and let your thoughts settle. And like most things in life, the more you practice meditation, the easier it will become for you.

14. Stretch your body.

You may have woken up with a stiff neck, or perhaps a pain in your back. From experience, it seems that lying down for several hours can leave your body in need of a good stretch. I’m 2.10 meters tall (yes, really!), so it’s not uncommon for me to have some discomfort when I first wake up. However, I’ve learned that stretching for just a few minutes offers quick pain relief, improved posture and enhanced energy levels.

15. Read a motivational quote.

If you want to boost your productivity, then make a habit of reading a motivational quote each morning. To get you in the mood for adopting this behavior, I’ve picked out one of my favorite quotes for you:

“Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.” – Og Mandino

16. Drink a glass of water.

Hydration is essential. Especially after hours of sleeping. I love to drink a glass of pure, filtered water every morning. It immediately makes me feel better, more energised and… less thirsty! Even if you’re a caffeine addict, try drinking a glass of water before you start on the hard stuff.

17. Create something.

Like many of the suggestions I’m listing, this idea makes productive use of your morning time. Let’s say that you are a budding singer-songwriter. You’re not famous yet – but you want to be! Before heading off to do your current job, you could spend 20 minutes or so writing lyrics for a new song. Do this everyday for a week, and you’ll probably have enough lyrics for a whole album. Other ideas for creating something, include: putting together a bouquet of flowers, working on your novel, and adding the finishing touches to your latest artwork.

18. Write down things you’re grateful for.

It’s all too easy to take things for granted. We need to constantly remind ourselves of things in our life that we’re grateful for. A beneficial and rewarding morning practice is to write a list of things that you’re currently grateful for. These could be things such as your partner, your job, and your health. Some people like to write a list each morning that includes everything they were grateful for from the previous day. Over time, you can develop an attitude of gratitude.

19. Play with your pets.

Do you love animals? Most of us do, for sure. If you’re fortunate enough to have a pet, then the morning is the perfect time to have some fun with them. For instance, if you have a dog, they’re sure to like playing with a ball or Frisbee first thing in the morning. They’ll have fun, and you will too.

20. Listen to an inspiring podcast.

Podcasts are a great way to listen to inspiring and motivating speakers. As they’re audio only, you can listen to them while making your breakfast – or even while you’re driving your car. Just imagine hearing expert tips on business, success and well-being every morning. Before long, this precious wisdom is bound to sink into your consciousness.

21. Plan your day.

Self-help guru Alan Lakein famously said: “Failing to plan, is planning to fail.”

Wise words indeed. To be successful in life, you must learn how to make plans and set goals. You should have long-term plans, medium-term plans and… daily plans. That’s right. You can use a few minutes each morning to plan the day ahead. It’s a simple technique that offers a surprising boost to your daily productivity.

22. Learn something new.

Each morning is the start of a new day. Why not tap into this fresh energy, by learning something new every morning. This could be something like: a few words of a new language, a new guitar chord, or some facts related to your favorite basketball team.

23. Enjoy the quietness of the morning.

If you can get up in the morning before the majority of other people, you’ll be rewarded with peace and quietness. You can make use of this special time by perhaps reading a book, or sitting in your garden. Personally, I love to walk my dog in the early morning, as the streets are empty – and my dog has a whole park to itself!

24. Think of a way to help someone later in the day.

Today’s society seems riddled with a me, me, me mentality. I’m sure you know what I mean. People talking endlessly about themselves – and others taking hundreds of selfies every day. It’s important not to get caught in this self-centered trend. One way to do this, is to take a few minutes each morning to think of ways that you can help other people later in the day. To give you an example, you may have a colleague who has a sweet tooth. You could decide to take in some chocolates to work that you could share with this individual.

25. Go for a swim.

I’ll be honest, this idea may not be for you. If you’re not a swimmer, then please move on to the next suggestion. However, if you do like to swim, and there is a swimming pool local to you, then this is a wonderful way to start your day. Swimming pools are usually quiet in the morning, so you’re likely to have loads of space for serious swimming – or simply having fun!

26. Meet some friends for breakfast.

Until I was in my 20s, I’d never thought about going out for breakfast with friends. However, I was fortunate to be introduced to this idea by a couple of American friends who were staying with me in London. I distinctively remember them saying, “Where shall we go for breakfast?” I was taken aback, because I had always just had breakfast at home. I’m glad they persuaded me, though, as I loved having breakfast with them in a local café. In fact, I enjoyed it so much that I now regularly meet friends for breakfast. If you haven’t tried it before – give it a go!

27. Check yourself in the mirror.

I’ve heard people say that they don’t like to look in the mirror in the morning – because they’re afraid of what they might see! I’m guessing that they probably look miserable and tired first thing in the morning, and want to avoid been reminded of this. It’s understandable, but I think mirrors are a great tool to use in the morning. Instead of being afraid of them, use them to check your appearance. You can quickly check your hair and makeup (for example). But more importantly, you can ensure that you’re looking alert, confident and purposeful.

28. Follow Steve Jobs’ advice.

In a speech he gave at Stanford University in 2005, Steve Jobs revealed that he started each day by asking the following question:

“If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?”

He went on to say that, if the answer to the question was “no” for several days – then this told him that he needed to make changes in his life.

29. Leave plenty of time for your commute.

Rushing to work is the cause of so much stress and anxiety. One of the problems, is that most people seem to leave a set amount of time for their commute – but don’t allow for any delays. For example, if someone has a 30-minute drive to work, they probably just allow 30 minutes each morning. However, as soon as there is a broken down vehicle or roadworks, then their schedule is immediately disrupted. The resolution is simple: always allow more time than you need.

30. Kiss your loved ones before you leave the house.

Don’t be in so much of a hurry in the morning that you forget the most valuable people in your life. Whether it’s your partner or your children, be sure to hug and kiss them before heading out the door. Relationships are so important – be certain to nurture yours.

Hopefully, the above list will give you plenty of food for thought. I recommend that you pick out a handful of the above suggestions, and make them a part of your daily routine. By doing this, you’ll find that your days start happier and stronger. You’ll also discover that you’re more motivated and productive than ever before.

You have the choice

-Wayne Dyer

How To Let Go Of Anger When You Just Can’t Stop Thinking About It

How To Let Go Of Anger When You Just Can’t Stop Thinking About It


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written by  -Editor at Lifehack, Social Media Expert, Health Nut

Loud noise from neighbourhood…it was 2 am!

It has been a tough day and I just wanted to sleep well!

Why do you have to disturb me? Tell me why…

Filled with anger, I found it even harder to fall asleep…

And I know sometimes anger just makes the situation worse, as there are a lot of consequences…

Anger is associated with type 2 diabetes

According to an article in the Journal of Medicine and Life in 2010, anger can have a direct impact upon cardiovascular diseases. [1] Not only that, scientists also associated it with the type 2 diabetes and many other diseases that many of us are not aware of. One thing not to forget though is, unhealthy habits like smoking, taking drugs or simply eating too much, resulting in obesity might also be possible when one is too angry that they would like to take a little ‘escape’ for comfort by doing those unhealthy habits or by eating.

Anger makes you have less interaction with others

The reason why anger could lead to obesity lies on the negative effects anger has on our mental health. Anger is linked with, by many scientists in their studies, depression. When being angry, we often want to isolate ourselves from people in which we will then have little interaction, and this in long term can cause depression.

Should I just let it all hang out?

If anger is not good for our health, but why do people say it is good to “Let it All Hang Out?’’, is this even true?

The answer from psychologists is a big NO. This is actually a very dangerous myth that some of us use as an excuse to hurt one another. Research [2] supported those psychologists as it is shown that letting out of our anger, in fact, escalates our anger and aggression.

Instead of being angry at the other, it’s better for you to see how to let go of anger and keep yourself calm and peaceful.

How to let go of anger

Write down your experience on a paper

Study finds that writing down feelings does make us feel better.[3]

Apart from feelings, it’s good to record every detail. Why? It’s tiring. When you spend so much efforts to narrate the story and record all the details, at first you may be very enthusiastic but gradually you’ll want to end it as soon as possible. This is a very effective way to make yourself move on naturally.

Things to include are:

  • What happened? When? What? Why? Who? Where?
  • Why made you particularly angry?
  • What are both of your reactions?

When you finish, glance at it once, then tear the paper into pieces. It’ll like trashing your anger!

One time I was angry with my mom and I wrote 3 pages. When I finally finished the moment I tore the paper I just laughed (it felt so good!). And my mom looked at me with a puzzled face.

Give yourself 24 hours before you react

When you’re angry, it’s hard not to react immediately.

I know how it feels…You just really want to make a counter argument and get the upper hand again…

But if the person doesn’t care, it’s nonsense to explain to him/her. If the person cares like they’re your loved ones, when you react at once, quite likely you’ll say something inappropriate. It would become an even bigger disaster then.

One great tip a quora user [4]shared is to give yourself 24 hours before you react.

She said “To remember to give yourself 24 hours before you react. If something bothers you, angers you, hurts you or disturbs you, remember you’re not in a normal frame of mind, being put in an extreme situation. Stay calm, silent and aloof for 24 hours before you voice your opinion/act or react. If it still bothers you after 24 hours, speak about it maturely. 

You’ll be surprised at how many relationships you’ll save by not being impulsive in the heat of the moment. When you can do this, you’re wise enough.”

Really angry now? Set an alarm for yourself and deal with it 24 hours later. Meanwhile make yourself busy with things you’ve been wanting to do for so long but haven’t yet.

How to make yourself less likely to get angry in future

Great books that will make you a calmer person

 

Instead of telling you how not to get hurt in life, this book teaches you step-by-step the way to learn to forgive about the painful things and awful people that had happened in your life. By learning to forgive will you be able to learn again, how to love and just like the title, create a legacy of love in your life for your familes, your friends and possibly for the world to feel.

Written by the same author, this book shows you how forgiveness benefits the forgiver more than the forgiven and introduces you different stages in the forgiving process with examples from children of divorced parents to parents of murdered children. This book might especially be good for those who have tried but failed in forgiving before.

 

Managing our emotions should actually be learned in a younger age in life and this book provides you and your kid the guide to deal with their anger and what to do when one is angry. This is a perfect book for parents who want to but think it is hard to teach their kids the way to deal with their anger and to explain how overcoming problems with anger will not work.

Meditation

Mediation is a great way to calm your emotions including anger. But it takes time to practice before you can master the skills. You can learn more about how to meditate with this article.

Frey Freyday – Guilt

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Guilt-[gilt] -the fact or state of having committed an offense, crime, violation, or wrong, especially against moral or penal law; culpability:

People tend to dwell more on negative things than on good things. So the mind then becomes obsessed with negative things, with judgments, guilt and anxiety produced by thoughts about the future and so on. Eckhart Tolle

 With integrity, you have nothing to fear, since you have nothing to hide. With integrity, you will do the right thing, so you will have no guilt. Zig Ziglar

Guilt is cancer. Guilt will confine you, torture you, destroy you as an artist. It’s a black wall. It’s a thief. Dave Grohl

 No work or love will flourish out of guilt, fear, or hollowness of heart, just as no valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now. Alan Watts

We all feel the urge to condemn ourselves out of guilt, to blame others for our misfortunes and to fantasize about total disaster. Deepak Chopra

Guilt: punishing yourself before God doesn’t. Alan Cohen

Throughout life, the two most futile emotions are guilt for what has been done and worry about what might be done. Guilt; You can sit there forever, lamenting about how bad you’ve been, feeling guilty until you die, and not one tiny slice of that guilt will do anything to change a single thing in the past. Forgive yourself, then MOVE ON! Wayne Dyer

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Guilt – Like worry, it isn’t much use at all. Guilt is looking in the past. Guilt is about making ourselves feel bad to no avail.

What good does guilt do? Others scold us, tell us how we should feel. Often others are being critical or judgmental of our choices – or maybe we’re being critical or judgmental of others and causing guilt upon others. What does that solve? How is guilt useful?

Really, guilt is much like just an insult. We can make ourselves feel guilty or others can feel guilt by something we do or say, and we feel bad about it, like an insult. There is no lesson, no connection, no improvement.

Like worry, we’re churning up ill feelings inside about things we can no longer change.

Some of us use guilt as an excuse to love, to live, to take a chance or to grow.

Like an insult, or like feeling bad, no one can make you feel guilty without your permission.

With guilt, you can’t fully be present, you can’t fully love and live.

The next time you feel guilty for something, ask ‘Is this useful? Is it helpful? Does it make me feel good? Does it improve the situation?”

Release, let go of guilt: If you release guilt, much like forgiving yourself, you will remove a huge weight from your shoulders. Guilt is released through the empowering thought of love and respect for yourself. Forget about and let go of standards of perfection. Forget about your expectations and the expectations of others. Refuse to use up the precious currency of your life, the present moment, with thoughts that continue to berate, frustrate and weaken you.

Instead, learn from the moment, release it, and simply work to be better than you used to be, live in the present, all of which is the true test of nobility.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

BONUS  

TED TALK: We’ll go to the doctor when we feel flu-ish or a nagging pain. So why don’t we see a health professional when we feel emotional pain: guilt, loss, loneliness? Too many of us deal with common psychological-health issues on our own, says Guy Winch. But we don’t have to. He makes a compelling case to practice emotional hygiene — taking care of our emotions, our minds, with the same diligence we take care of our bodies.

https://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_the_case_for_emotional_hygiene

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