Monthly Archives: April 2017

Frey Freyday – Fear

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Fear is an emotion induced by a threat perceived by living entities, which causes a change in brain and organ function and ultimately a change in behavior, such as running away, hiding or freezing from traumatic events.

frey_freydays

 Sometimes, understanding their fears helps you to understand their actions and their pain. Plus, understanding their fears sometimes helps you to understand your own. Te amo,  The Universe www.tut.com

I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.-Rosa Parks


Courage is never to let your actions be influenced by your fears.-Arthur Koestler


Everyone gets scared, everyone has fear. It’s what you do next that counts. It’s how you overcome the fear, or use it, that sets you apart. –L. James Frey

Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.-Marianne Williamson


Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself.-Samuel Butler


To him who is in fear everything rustles.-Sophocles


Fear is excitement without breath.-Robert Heller


No good work is ever done while the heart is hot and anxious and fretted.-Olive Schreiner


If you can change your state of mind, then the fear will disappear. You need to change from a state of fear or uncertainty, to a state of certainty.-Tony Robbins


We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.-Eleanor Roosevelt


Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.-Mark Twain


I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.-Nelson Mandela

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Fear – a feeling that is natural, even valid emotion. However, we can’t let fear stop us, hold us back, or allow it to affect our decisions. Fear is a perception, not a reality.

How do these interrelate? ….Fear, hunger and passion:

I read somewhere that passion is like getting into first gear; it will get you going. Hunger is the vehicle that will take you there. It’s human nature to get excited about out dreams; it’s easy to spark the fires of passion, especially when you’re young. But sooner or later, when it comes time to get the job done, suddenly, our level of excitement wanes because we’re all afraid of one thing: failure. We fear making mistakes, looking silly, embarrassing ourselves….Here’s what’s great: Hunger will destroy that fear of failure.

Also, many people say that you shouldn’t fear, or that you should ignore your fears. I disagree. Fear means that you’re feeling life and you’re alive. Fear – any emotion – is an alert to you to pay attention, that there is change coming, or that you need to make a change. While I do like to approach life without focusing on fear, sometimes I disagree with the concept of fearlessness. If you have fear, it’s OK….just don’t stop. To say you’re fearless when you’re not may be silly, and it may be a silly battle to say others should be fearless. You don’t necessarily want to get rid of your fear; you need it to keep you alive. We’re all here because we had fear that preserved us. You could even say that there is a little bit of a lack of appreciation for fear when we say that we want to be fearless.

Fear is Boring: In her TED Talk, author Elizabeth Gilbert said; “But then, fear is the oldest, deepest and least subtle part of our emotional life, and so therefore it’s boring. It’s dull. It doesn’t have any nuance. So have a little conversation with your fear when it starts to get riled up when you’re trying to do something creative. Let it know, “I’m just trying to write a poem, no one’s going to die.” But don’t try to go to war against it, that’s such a waste of energy. Just converse with it and then move on…..”

Lastly, remember or consider that everyone is here to learn, and to learn a lesson we need to make mistakes, experience pain, failure, and other things – you can choose not to fear or label these things as good or bad. They’re just a lesson. The good or bad part is just our perception.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

BONUS  

Tim Ferriss’ fun, encouraging anecdotes show how one simple question — “What’s the worst that could happen?” — is all you need to learn to do anything.

https://www.ted.com/talks/tim_ferriss_smash_fear_learn_anything

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never too late….

At age 23, Tina Fey was working at a YMCA.

At age 23, Oprah was fired from her first reporting job.

At age 24, Stephen King was working as a janitor and living in a trailer.

At age 27, Vincent Van Gogh failed as a missionary and decided to go to art school.

At age 28, J.K. Rowling was a suicidal single parent living on welfare.

At age 30, Harrison Ford was a carpenter.

At age 37, Ang Lee was a stay-at-home-dad working odd jobs.

Julia Child released her first cookbook at age 39, and got her own cooking show at age 51.

Vera Wang failed to make the Olympic figure skating team, didn’t get the Editor-in-Chief position at Vogue, and designed her first dress at age 40.

Stan Lee didn’t release his first big comic book until he was 40.

Alan Rickman gave up his graphic design career and landed his first movie role at age 42.

Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get his first major movie role until he was 46.

Morgan Freeman landed his first major movie role at age 52.

Whatever your dream is, it is not too late to achieve it. Never tell yourself you’re too old to make it. Never tell yourself you missed your chance. Never tell yourself that you aren’t good enough. You can do it. Whatever it is.

What if

How would you act and think and treat others if you had everything you wanted? What if you acted that way today?

Frey Freyday – Certainty

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

cer·tain·ty-[ˈsərtntē]-NOUN-firm conviction that something is the case:

The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers.-Erich Fromm

The demand for certainty is one which is natural to man, but is nevertheless an intellectual vice.-Bertrand Russell

One must verify or expel his doubts, and convert them into the certainty of Yes or No.-Thomas Carlyle

Although our intellect always longs for clarity and certainty, our nature often finds uncertainty fascinating.-Carl von Clausewitz

In order to accomplish anything, we need a sense of certainty. Our references help us to build this important emotional state. However, if we have no experience in doing something, how can we be certain about it? Realize you’re not limited to your actual experience: your imagination has unlimited references to support you. – Tony Robbins

– 

There is no certainty; there is only adventure.-Roberto Assagioli

Certainty is the mother of quiet and repose, and uncertainty the cause of variance and contentions.-Edward Coke

You should have certainty in what you do. ‘Faith’ and ‘trust’ are words that put the power in the hands of an outside force that we are meant to rely on – whether it is God or a person or the universe. Certainty puts the power back in our hands.-Yehuda Berg

If you develop the absolute sense of certainty that powerful beliefs provide, then you can get yourself to accomplish virtually anything, including those things that other people are certain are impossible.-William Lyon Phelps

Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything. It’s certainty.-Stephen Colbert

WORD TO LIVE BY:

Certainty. Do you recall the last time that you were certain about something….and you knew it was right, and you were right? Maybe it was at work, maybe it was with your family or a relationship – for different people it is different – it may have come from your head, or maybe your heart…..but you felt Certain.

When you meet someone that has ‘certainty’, you can tell right? Often the person that is most certain is most influential in the situation. Certainty is much like confidence. It comes across in someone’s way of acting, their attitude and words.

Think about a situation where you felt certain. Picture it in your mind. How did you feel? Feel now how you were when you were certain. Stand up. Go ahead and stand up…….feel certain. ….really certain. There is a calmness, coolness about it perhaps? You feel confident. You probably feel relaxed – although energized too. What is your posture and physiology like?

Stand as if you were certain! Are your shoulders sagging or are you standing tall? How is your breathing?

Now stand as if you are Absolutely Certain! How would you stand? Breathe? What is your posture, your physiology? What is your appearance? How are you talking? How are you holding your head?

Certainty is achieved from our posture, physiology, and attitude.- your state of mind, your state of your body. You own the situation, right? You own the moment.

Tony Robbins has a list of what he calls the SIX HUMAN NEEDS. Certainty/Comfort, Variety, Significance, Connection/Love, Growth, and Contribution.

Tony discusses Certainty this way – We all want comfort, right? And much of this comfort comes from certainty. Of course there is no ABSOLUTE certainty, but we want certainty the car will start, the water will flow from the tap when we turn it on and the currency we use will hold its value. We search for certainty in other parts of our life. At one time there appeared to be certainty in some industries and jobs.

Sometimes I find certainty in other ways…..I don’t know who told me once but they told me ‘Nothing in life is permanent, no problem is permanent, it is passing; your Soul is permanent. You are permanent.  Nothing is so inescapable that you can’t move on….”

Knowing that ‘this too shall pass’ helps me ‘shake off’ something bad and I feel a little relieved, calmer, and more certain. Look at the big picture. Look at other – other people have recovered from this and worse. I also think about the good things in my life. I focus on what is working and I feel more certain. I look back in my life and recall how I overcame other challenges, I look at my successes, I look at my loved ones and support network. We are not alone. I personally believe in a Creator that is benevolent. I don’t pretend to understand or label but I believe in something.

We all have this power, this source, this strength inside of each of us. We’ve all felt it from time to time in our lives. It often feels like the ‘real person’, the person at the core of ourselves. When we access this part of us, we operate from a foundation of certainty, don’t we? But it does take a moment for each of us to access it  – being calm, focused, even meditation….. but the point is that YOU can access the certainty inside. You can reach in and grab it – you don’t have to look outside.

Extraordinary people bring certainty into uncertain environments. Whether it be in sports, business, or even being a great parent, in times of uncertainty people are drawn to those who’ve somehow found a way to find an internal certainty that can guide them. That certainty is not that you have all the answers, but rather that there’s certainty inside you that, together with your loved ones, you can find the answer and move forward.

Lastly, having a Vision in mind is also key. If you have that END IN MIND – the dream, the vision of what you want, if you spend time visualizing it and really feeling it – feeling as if it is already happening NOW, then you will be able to access certainty. If you know where you’re going and you know that you’re not going to give up until you get there, then it’s OK when you encounter big and little challenges in life. You’re certain that you’ll reach the end and you’re certain things are working out. The path may be not as you expected but no path it.

Focus on asking the right questions to yourself and focus on what you say to yourself. Are your words and self-talk building up or breaking down certainty in you?

Like you, I’ve had successes and also been in tough jambs. There were times when I thought my life was over financially and I was embarrassed, stressed, whatever. But as I look back, in the big picture, that was just part of the journey. Those things passed. Other things will pass, I am certain of it! My real friends are still around. That ‘real Jim’ is still inside me. Struggles bring strength. Strength brings certainty.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

frey_freydays

BONUS

TED Talk-Why we do what we do

https://www.ted.com/talks/tony_robbins_asks_why_we_do_what_we_do

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