Frey Freyday – the Past

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Past-[past]- gone by in time and no longer existing:

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. Buddha

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. John F. Kennedy

I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past. Thomas Jefferson

We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future. George Bernard Shaw

I’ve come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy. Tony Robbins

You are always free to change your mind and choose a different future, or a different past. Richard Bach

WORD TO LIVE BY:

PAST – the past does not equal the future.

Did you ever listen to someone that has a story about the past? Specifically a story with sadness, anger, loss, rejection, or failure? Maybe they keep talking about something that happened in the past and the emotions and turmoil tied to that past. Did you ever notice how the anger, resentment, sadness, hurt, or other emotions are really present when they talk about the past?

We all do it from time to time.

I certainly talked about one challenging year in that way for a long time. I lost both parents, lost other relatives, lost a job all in a short time frame. It was painful, sad, and there was anger, and other emotions. There is nothing wrong with feeling any of these emotions. There is nothing wrong with grief, sadness, anger, etc. – we must feel. There are lessons from our past. Our feelings are valid.

However, we can get stuck in the past. I know that I did for quite some time. I kept referencing that story. I stayed in the sad/angry emotions. I couldn’t see ahead because I was looking backwards. I couldn’t feel good stuff because I was feeling bad stuff. Quite frankly, after some point, it was not useful or helpful in any way to feel that way or linger on the past.

I had not been able to move ahead, grow, progress until I let go of some of the emotions and feelings about the past. I had to. In some ways, although unintentionally, I was using the past as an excuse. In so many words, I was essentially saying, ‘I can’t move on because of my past.’

I also beat myself up in some ways. I could have/should have/would have done things differently. I failed here, I didn’t do that, I did that in a wrong way – this definitely never helps. I had to be a friend to myself.

So I literally tried to release and let go. I re-framed the past. I thought of my past as something that strengthened me.

By asking myself better questions and thinking of ways to ‘use my past experiences to benefit me’, I came to believe that all my past losses, challenges, lost opportunities, rejections  and frustration were actually helping me and giving me new and better understandings that gave me a maturity, wisdom and ability that I did not have before. I made it through. I was stronger, I am stronger. I now have the ability to create a new level of life. Without the challenges of the past, I would not grow as fast as I have.

I also had a vision for the future and I tried to define it clearly and with emotion. I thought of that vision as already having happened  – in other words, I thought of how I wanted my life to be like in the short term future, and then thought of it as if it had already happened – like I was looking back on my new better life in the past. Then I looked at what can I do today to work towards that, even if a little thing. It worked.

The past is still there. I no longer get hung up on it. I don’t fight the sadness or grief but I certainly don’t linger there. While I wish my loved ones were still here and I definitely miss them, in some ways I am grateful for all that has happened in my past in some way.

I can tell you from my own experiences, more than once, that the only thing that’s necessary for this to work is to begin to believe that it is possible to move on, grow, change, and improve despite your past. The past doesn’t matter. So many people have overcome similar things and more. Whatever happened in the past, or whatever didn’t work out for you in the past has nothing to do with what you can or will do today or tomorrow. The choice and action that you take now will determine your future, it is that simple. It may not always be simple or without apprehension but growth is like that.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

BONUS:

Bible Verses for letting go of the past – http://www.bible-knowledge.com/scripture-verses-letting-go-past/

Multiple articles about letting go of the past- http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/letting-go-of-the-past/

 

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