(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)
Vocabulary – [voh-kab-yuh-ler-ee] – noun, the stock of words used by or known to a particular people or group of persons:
Live today. Remove all blame from your vocabulary. Catch yourself when you find yourself using your past history as a reason for your failure to act today, and instead say, “I am free now to detach myself from what used to be.” – Wayne Dyer
‘Pressure’ is a word that is misused in our vocabulary. When you start thinking of pressure, it’s because you’ve started to think of failure. Tommy Lasorda
We live in a time when the words impossible and unsolvable are no longer part of the scientific community’s vocabulary – or even our own vocabulary. Each day we move closer to trials that will not just minimize the symptoms of disease and injury but eliminate them. Christopher Reeve
Language shapes our behavior and each word we use is imbued with multitudes of personal meaning. The right words spoken in the right way can bring us love, money and respect, while the wrong words—or even the right words spoken in the wrong way—can lead to a country to war. We must carefully orchestrate our speech if we want to achieve our goals and bring our dreams to fruition.—Dr. Andrew Newberg, Words Can Change Your Brain
WORD TO LIVE BY
Vocabulary-the words you consistently use to describe your emotions and sensations—immediately change how you think, feel and live. (if you want to change your life, Adjust your habitual vocabulary)
It may seem ironic or redundant to site ‘vocabulary’ as a Word to Live By but it is important to cover it.
We all know words allow us to express and share our experiences with others. But not everyone realizes that the words we habitually choose also affects how we communicate with ourselves and therefore what we experience.
Simply by changing our habitual vocabulary—the words we consistently use to describe emotions—we can instantaneously change how we think, how we feel, and how we live.-Tony Robbins
We can improve or change ourselves by consciously using your words to improve the quality of our life today and for the rest of our lives.
According to Compton’s Encyclopedia, the English language contains some 500,000 words. Yet the average person’s working vocabulary consists of 2,000—0.5% of the entire language. And the number of words we use most frequently—the words that make up our habitual vocabulary? For most people, it averages 200-300 words. Isn’t that unbelievable? (By contrast, John Milton’s writings used about 17,000 words and William Shakespeare used 24,000 words, 5,000 of which he only used one time.)
Of those 500,000 words total, as much as 3,000 are used to describe emotions—2/3 of which are used to describe negative emotions.
With such amazing resources (in our language/vocabulary) with which to express our feelings and ideas, why should people accept such an impoverished vocabulary? Most people are not challenged by the size of the vocabulary they understand, but rather by the words they chose to use. We tend to use the same words over and over again. Many times we use short cuts, but these short cuts often shortchange us emotionally.
Earlier last year, about 12-14 months ago, I noticed that I was focusing on, and generally talking to myself (self-talk) in a less than empowering way. I was asking poor questions – “what’s wrong with me?” “Why can’t I do that?” etc. Or I would say “He makes me mad” “that bothers me” , “that’s just a bad situation”.
Similarly, when I got upset, I’d used certain language that invoked certain feelings. So my ‘bad’ language often intensified my feeling. Example: “That was horrific!” Instead, I tried using ‘lighter’ language. Example: “That was interesting/funny/different/amusing/loco” – this new language helped stop me from getting more upset and actually would lighten the mood in some cases. Instead of saying “Holy @#$#@!” I would say something silly like, “Golly”. It broke my pattern.
Think about our language – even when someone else has a bad situation, our language can sometimes transfer the ‘bad feeling’ to us.
Here’s what I mean….my late mother, my sisters and I still say “I feel bad for”…. people and animals. In other words, when we see an animal struggling, we might say; “I feel bad for that puppy”, or if there is a child struggling or a friend facing a challenge, we’ll say, ” I feel bad for him.”
I am looking at all words, however seemingly small. When we say “I feel bad” we are essentially programming or telling ourselves to ‘feel bad’. Sure, it is nice that we have compassion and care for another person or animal, that’s all good, but when we say “I feel bad for…” we’re not helping that person/animal and we’re encouraging ourself to ‘feel bad. So I asked my friend Dave about it.
Maybe you don’t say “I feel bad for….” like we do. But I bet that you say or ask something else that is not empowering to yourself? Think about it. What things do you say or ask yourself that could be improved or changed?
Here are my friend, Dave Blomsterberg’s thoughts, paraphrased….
I suggest taking words like bad, good, negative, positive out of your self talk by simply stating what it is without labeling it. For example: you may feel emotional inside where your energy is low in a situation, ask yourself if that feeling is serving you and if it is, ok…if not, choose to change to another feeling state .
In your example when you say “I feel bad”, you can change it to “I have empathy/compassion for that person/animal” and if you want to do something for the person/animal then do, maybe sending them love or supporting them in some way, (or say a prayer?).
When you simply feel “bad” for something is that really doing anything for you or them? Yet If you have empathy/compassion and want to do something (even if it’s sending love or compassion from your heart) that offers something for that person/animal to help Empower them to move forward…use your feelings to help in some way instead of simply feeling “bad” which usually ties to guilt and is a mind and time waster.
You may not realize it, but your self-talk may be sabotaging your stress levels! Self-talk–the way your inner voice makes sense of the world around you and the way you communicate with your inner self–can greatly affect your stress levels in multiple ways. If your self-talk is generally negative, you may be perceiving events if your life as more stressful than they need to be and creating unnecessary anxiety and stress for yourself.
You may be attributing negative motivations to people who are well-meaning, you may be perceiving yourself as less equipped to handle challenges you face, and you may be seeing only more negatives than positives in what you are facing in life, when there may be a much less stressful “bright side” you’re not perceiving because of habitual negative self-talk. You may also succumb to rumination, a pattern of negative thinking that can consume your idle time and bring stress from the past into the present unnecessarily without leading to any resolution.
Consider what you say to yourself after you’ve done something embarrassing or similar. Does your inner voice say “that was sure stupid”? How about if you haven’t even done anything wrong or stupid at all, but your self-talk is just as critical? This type of self-talk causes you to question yourself and soon become paralyzed with doubt and uncertainty, etc.
Notice Your Patterns: become more aware of your language. You probably don’t realize how often you say negative things in your head, or how much it affects your experience.
Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.
So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….