Frey Freyday – Resilience

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

Persistence and resilience only come from having been given the chance to work though difficult problems.-Gever Tulley


Resilience is all about being able to overcome the unexpected. Sustainability is about survival. The goal of resilience is to thrive.-Jamais Cascio

The moment we believe that success is determined by an ingrained level of ability as opposed to resilience and hard work, we will be brittle in the face of adversity.-Joshua Waitzkin


Obstacles, of course, are developmentally necessary: they teach kids strategy, patience, critical thinking, resilience and resourcefulness.-Naomi Wolf

Because, you know, resilience – if you think of it in terms of the Gold Rush, then you’d be pretty depressed right now because the last nugget of gold would be gone. But the good thing is, with innovation, there isn’t a last nugget. Every new thing creates two new questions and two new opportunities.-Jeff Bezos


Resilience isn’t a single skill. It’s a variety of skills and coping mechanisms. To bounce back from bumps in the road as well as failures, you should focus on emphasizing the positive.-Jean Chatzky

WORD TO LIVE BY:

re·sil·ience [rəˈzilyəns] – the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness

Put simply, Resilient people are able to utilize their skills and strengths to cope and recover from problems and challenges.

Someone said adversity builds character, but someone else said adversity reveals character. This is often true. To persevere, and not just blindly, to proactively take the best, get rid of the rest, and move on, realizing that you can make a choice to take the good.
Let’s face it, there are always things in our world that come into our lives and challenge us; adversity. These arrive in various guises. Some are the result of low socioeconomic status and challenging home conditions. Other threats are things we see or experience –  experiencing or witnessing a traumatic encounter, accidents, health issues. Experts say that what matters is the intensity and the duration of the stressor

In a study done by psychologists, several elements predicted resilience. Some elements had to do with luck: a resilient child might have a strong bond with a supportive caregiver, parent, teacher, or other mentor-like figure. But another, quite large set of elements was psychological, and had to do with how the children responded to the environment. From a young age, resilient children tended to “meet the world on their own terms.” They were autonomous and independent, would seek out new experiences, and had a “positive social orientation.” “Though not especially gifted, these children used whatever skills they had effectively,” a psychologist wrote. Perhaps most importantly, the resilient children had what psychologists call an “internal locus of control”: they believed that they, and not their circumstances, affected their achievements. (See below linked article)

The good news is that positive construal can be taught. We can make ourselves more or less vulnerable by how we think about things. In short, it has been shown that teaching people to think of stimuli in different ways—to reframe them in positive terms when the initial response is negative, or in a less emotional way when the initial response is emotionally “hot”—changes how they experience and react to the stimulus. You can train people to better regulate their emotions, and the training seems to have lasting effects.

There are some books and thought on being resilient like a palm tree: “Resilience during tough times is about being flexible like a palm tree rather than unbending like an oak. Accepting rather than breaking.” This refers to the fact that, for instance in the very high winds of a hurricane, a palm tree will bend very far but not break. Other trees often crack or fall. We can bend like the palm and bounce back…..People who flex and bend with life’s twists and challenges are healthier and less stressed than those who stand relentlessly steadfast and unwavering – what my mother would call “being hard-headed.”

So can you train yourself to be more resilient? Yes, you can. Even places like the Mayo Clinic say so – “Resilience can help protect you from various mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety. Resilience can also help offset factors that increase the risk of mental health conditions, such as being bullied or previous trauma. If you have an existing mental health condition, being resilient can improve your ability to cope.” They have training and videos, too. http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/resilience-training/in-depth/resilience/art-20046311

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.
So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from..

 

Bonus: Article

How People Learn to Become Resilient

http://www.newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/the-secret-formula-for-resilience

 

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