Monthly Archives: January 2016

Saving for tomorrow, tomorrow

Saving for tomorrow, tomorrow

Some say this gentleman speaks a little differently. Regardless, overlook that and concentrate on this good, simple message!

It’s easy to imagine saving money next week, but how about right now? Generally, we want to spend it. Economist Shlomo Benartzi says this is one of the biggest obstacles to saving enough for retirement, and asks: How do we turn this behavioral challenge into a behavioral solution?

https://embed-ssl.ted.com/talks/shlomo_benartzi_saving_more_tomorrow.html

To Conquer Fear, A Man Turns Rejection Into A Game

Daniel Horowitz for NPR

Daniel Horowitz for NPR

Editor’s note: This story first ran on Jan. 16, 2015, as part of NPR’s Invisibilia podcast. It’s about a man who decided he no longer wanted to be ruled by fear. Without realizing it, he used a standard tool of psychotherapy to help him stop dreading rejection.

And if you’ve been dreading a future without Invisibilia, fear not — we’re hard at work on Season Two! We can’t reveal what we’re working on right now, but rest assured that this season won’t include any snakes. Just a lion.

The evolution of Jason Comely, a freelance IT guy from Cambridge, Ontario, began one sad night several years ago.

“That Friday evening that I was in my one-bedroom apartment trying to be busy,” Comely says. “But really, I knew that I was avoiding things.”

See, nine months earlier, Jason’s wife had left him.

“She … found someone that was taller than I was — had more money than I had. … So, yeah.”

And since then, Jason had really withdrawn from life. He didn’t go out, and he avoided talking to people, especially women.

But that Friday, he realized that this approach was taking a toll.

“I had nowhere to go, and no one to hang out with,” Comely says. “And so I just broke down and started crying.” He realized that he was afraid. “I asked myself, afraid of what?

“I thought, I’m afraid of rejection.”

Which got him thinking about the Spetsnaz, an elite Russian military unit with a really intense training regime.

“You know, I heard of one situation where they were, like, locked in a room, a windowless room, with a very angry dog, and they’d only be armed with a spade, and only one person is going to get out — the dog or the Spetsnaz.”

And that gave him an idea. Maybe he could somehow use the rigorous approach of the Spetsnaz against his fear.

So if you’re a freelance IT guy, living in a one-bedroom apartment in Cambridge, Ontario, what is the modern equivalent of being trapped in a windowless room with a rabid dog and nothing to protect you but a single handheld spade?

“I had to get rejected at least once every single day by someone.”

Cards from the Rejection Therapy game.

Cards from the Rejection Therapy game.

Courtesy of Jason Comely

He started in the parking lot of his local grocery store. Went up to a total stranger and asked for a ride across town.

“And he looked at me, like, and just said, ‘I’m not going that way, buddy.’ And I was like, ‘Thank you!’

“It was like, ‘Got it! I got my rejection.’ ”

Jason had totally inverted the rules of life. He took rejection and made it something he wanted — so he would feel good when he got it.

“And it was sort of like walking on my hands or living on my hands or living underwater or something. It was just a different reality. The rules of life had changed.”

Without knowing it, Jason had used a standard tool of psychotherapy called exposure therapy. You force yourself to be exposed to exactly the thing you fear, and eventually you recognize that the thing you fear isn’t hurting you. You become desensitized. It’s used in treating phobias like fear of flying.

Jason kept on seeking out rejection. And as he did, he found that people were actually more receptive to him, and he was more receptive to people, too. “I was able to approach people, because what are you gonna do, reject me? Great!”

That was when Jason got another idea.

He wrote down all of his real-life rejection attempts, things like, “Ask for a ride from stranger, even if you don’t need one.” “Before purchasing something, ask for a discount.” “Ask a stranger for a breath mint.”

Cards from the Rejection Therapy game.

Cards from the Rejection Therapy game.

Courtesy of Jason Comely

He had them printed on a deck of cards and started selling them online.

Slowly, the Rejection Therapy game became kind of a small cult phenomenon, with people playing all over the world.

Jason has heard from a teacher in Colorado, a massage therapist in Budapest, a computer programmer in Japan, even a widowed Russian grandmother. She’s using rejection therapy to pick up men.

“That’s really cool — so, there’s an 80-year-old babushka playing Rejection Therapy,” he says.

So what has Jason learned from all this?

That most fears aren’t real in the way you think they are. They’re just a story you tell yourself, and you can choose to stop repeating it. Choose to stop listening.

“Don’t even bother trying to be cool,” Jason says. “Just get out there and get rejected, and sometimes it’s going to get dirty. But that’s OK, ’cause you’re going to feel great after, you’re going to feel like, ‘Wow. I disobeyed fear.’ ”

france !

I want to give a ‘shot out’ to different countries that have visited my site in 2015.

Thank you for visiting http://www.onewebstrategy.com !

Please make a comment!

Now- in 2015, 36 PEOPLE VISITED THIS SITE, THANKS

Je veux donner un « tir » aux différents pays qui ont visité mon site en 2015.

Merci de visiter http://www.onewebstrategy.com !

S’il vous plaît faire un commentaire !

Maintenant-en 2015, 36 personnes ont visité ce SITE, Merci

Frey Freyday-Imagination

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Imagination is more important than knowledge.-Albert Einstein

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.-Dr. Seuss

Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?-Sun Tzu

If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking.-George S. Patton

The man who has no imagination has no wings.-Muhammad Ali

All successful people men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose.-Brian Tracy

To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.-Thomas A. Edison

Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere.-Carl Sagan

I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.-Michelangelo

All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers.-Orison Swett Marden

Imagination is the voice of daring. If there is anything Godlike about God it is that. He dared to imagine everything.-Henry Miller

If you can dream it, you can do it.-Walt Disney

You have to imagine it possible before you can see something. You can have the evidence right in front of you, but if you can’t imagine something that has never existed before, it’s impossible.-Rita Dove

Live out of your imagination, not your history.-Stephen Covey

WORD TO LIVE BY

im·ag·i·na·tion-[iˌmajəˈnāSHən] – the faculty or action of forming new ideas, or images or concepts of external objects not present to the senses

Imagination is a wonderful thing. We can think of creative ways to propose to someone, think of fun ways to pull a practical joke on someone, we can think of ways to make our homes more inviting, our health and lives better, or we can imagine a vision for our future.

Also, and let’s face it, much of life and career is problem solving, right? Whether we’re in business, medicine, education, law, …whatever, we are solving a problem of some kind. We need to come up with a solution.

It should also be mentioned that the best solutions, the best imagination, does not come to us well when we’re in a state of mind of scarcity or fear. We need to be open to things, happy, relaxed, and in a good state of mind, and then we can imagine the solution. Laughter is good foreplay for imagination. Most of us adults don’t call it imagination, but that’s what we’re doing, we are imagining a way to solve the problem. There is creative financing, doctors are working with researchers to find new ways to beat cancer, communities are imagining new ways to revitalize older cities. There are lots of ways it happens….

Imagination can empower us or it can lead us down a weaker path. Here’s what I mean – worrying is a form of imagination – we can sit around and imagine bad things happening. That is almost always not useful. We can sit around and imagine good things happening. We can imagine or visually practice scenarios – visualize – things in our lives.

Imagination is something most adults seem to abandon – as children we would imagine anything was possible. As adults we automatically edit and censor ourselves, we limit ourselves.

If you look at so many great people – people in medicine, humanitarians, business, artists/directors/actors, and other ‘leaders’ in our world, they embrace their imagination.

What we need to remember is that if we can imagine it, we can often accomplish it. It may be hard, take time, effort and bring failures along the way but we can do it. The easy example is Walt Disney. What a great imagination he had. And, if you’re a realist, what a crazy imagination he had. Can you ‘imagine’ back before he built any parks? He imagined an amusement park like no other, so he had to buy thousands of acres in swamp areas of Florida, build places like Tomorrowland, Fantasyland, Experimental City of Tomorrow, and other crazy things. Can you picture yourself listening to that investors presentation decades ago when Walt was looking for money? “Um, gee Walt, that’s an interesting idea but I think I’ll wait and see how you do with it….” Today there is a huge empire of fun and fantasy. The vision lives on.

So many others have imagined a better world for hospitals, education, art, and communities. On Monday we celebrate a man that imagined a “Dream” for civil rights in the U.S.

I invite you to imagine your future-self as you hope you’ll be, a world full of love, fun, happiness, good health and prosperity.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called “Words To Live By” (WTLB). Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally.

So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

Bonus

http://www.ted.com/watch/ted-institute/ted-state-street/john-bolton-the-power-of-imagination-lessons-from-shakespeare

John Bolton: The power of imagination – Lessons from Shakespeare

About this talk: Shakespeare boasted an uncanny understanding of human nature. Might the Bard be a helpful workplace consultant with tips on navigating the plot twists and characters taking stage in the modern world? Want to learn whom you can trust at work? Take a meeting with Othello. Need advice on creative problem solving? Check in with Hamlet. John Bolton walks us through five lessons from the Bard that still resonate today.

 

 

South Africa – Suid-Afrika

I want to give a ‘shot out’ to different countries that have visited my site in 2015.

Thank you for visiting http://www.onewebstrategy.com !

Please make a comment!

Now- in 2015, 60 people from South Africa visited this site, thanks!
Ek wil om te gee ‘n ‘geskiet’ verskillende lande wat my site besoek het in 2015.
Dankie vir die besoek http://www.onewebstrategy.com!
Maak asseblief ‘n comment!

Nou-in 2015, 60 mense van Suid-Afrika besoek hierdie webwerf, dankie!

Egypt

I want to give a ‘shot out’ to different countries that have visited my site in 2015.

Thank you for visiting http://www.onewebstrategy.com !

Please make a comment!

Now- in 2015, 21 people from Egypt visited this site, thank yoU!

Norway = norge

I want to give a ‘shot out’ to different countries that have visited my site in 2015.

Thank you for visiting http://www.onewebstrategy.com !

Please make a comment!

Now- in 2015, 18 people from Norway visited this site, thanks!

Jeg ønsker å gi et ‘shot ut’ til ulike land som har besøkt nettstedet mitt i 2015. Takk for at du besøker http://www.onewebstrategy.com ! Vennligst gjør en kommentar! Nå – i 2015, 18 personer fra Norge besøkte dette stedet, takk!

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