Monthly Archives: September 2015

A quick article about parenting…

HERE IS A GOOD ARTICLE ABOUT PARENTING FROM BRIAN TRACY……

Brian Tracy [newsletter@briantracyintl.com]

The most important single role of parenting is to love and nurture your children and to build in them feelings of high self-esteem and self-confidence. If you raise your children feeling terrific about themselves, if you bring them up full of eagerness to go out and take on the world, then you have fulfilled your responsibility in the highest possible sense.

Why Parents Don’t Love Enough

There are two major reasons for the failure by parents to love their children enough. First, the parents do not love themselves. Parents with low self-esteem have great difficulty giving more love to their children than they feel for themselves. The second reason that parents dont love their children enough is they often have the mistaken notion that their children exist to fulfill their expectations.

Children are Not Property

The starting point of raising super kids is to realize that your children are not your property. Your children belong to themselves. They are a gift to you from high above, and a temporary gift at that.

Children are a Precious Gift

When you look at your children as precious gifts that you can only enjoy for a short time, you see your role as parents differently. When you celebrate and encourage the special nature and personality of your child, he or she grows like a flower in sunshine. But if you try to get your child to be something he or she is not, your child’s spirit will wither, and his or her potential for happiness and joy will shrivel like a leaf on a tree in autumn.

Love Makes the Difference

The most important consideration in raising super kids is the amount of love they receive. Children need love like flowers need water. A continuous flow of love and approval from the parent to the child is the child’s lifeline to emotional and physical health. Love deprivation is surely the most serious problem that a child can suffer during his or her formative years.

Unconditional Love and Acceptance

Make it clear to your child that nothing he or she does could ever cause you to love him or her less than 100%. The most wonderful gift you can give your child is the absolute conviction that you love him or her completely, without reservation, no matter what he or she does and no matter what happens.

Praise and Encouragement

Give your children continual praise and encouragement for the positive things they do, even small things. Praise and reinforce what you would like to see repeated. Praise them to build their self-esteem and self-confidence.

Action Exercise

Ask yourself what it would be like to be your own child. Put yourself in the position of your child or your children, and then evaluate yourself as a parent. What are your strengths and weaknesses? What do you do well and what do you do poorly? What are some of the things that you do that might be causing your children to grow up with lower self-esteem than you would like?

To your success in parenting,

Brian Tracy

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Frey Freyday- Perspective

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.-Marcus Aurelius

Human beings are natural mimickers. The more you’re conscious of the other side’s posture, mannerisms, and word choices – and the more you subtly reflect those back – the more accurate you’ll be at taking their perspective.-Daniel H. Pink

When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears. It is all about perspective.Tony Robbins

There are no facts, only interpretations.― Friedrich Nietzsche

We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.― Abraham Lincoln

When you wake up every day, you have two choices. You can either be positive or negative; an optimist or a pessimist. I choose to be an optimist. It’s all a matter of perspective.-Harvey Mackay


If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.-Wayne Dyer

Keep your perspective…..Remember, you’ve been through tough times before and your circumstances will change. The struggle will  lessen. It will hurt less one day. Trust things will improve. This too shall pass. Even if life stinks right now, you have to believe things will get better, there will be light soon, you will make it through. Remember your blessings and strength and values and dreams… those things will keep you grateful and ready.- Brendon Burchard

Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be. – George Carlin

WORDS TO LIVE BY:

Perspective [per-spek-tiv] – the state of one’s ideas, the facts known to one, etc., in having a meaningful interrelationship.

There are two things to consider with perspective….

  • Perspective about life, circumstances, your job, situation, etc.- If you change your perspective on or about any situation, it can change how you feel, think, and act about it – sometimes dramatically:… You may not like the job you have but to someone unemployed and struggling, they’d do almost anything to have your job….. You’re bored with life and you don’t have motivation but to someone terminally ill or paralyzed, your life is a dream. Often we aren’t aware of things around us and we can only see our situation from one angle. It can be as simple as the example of the ‘glass half full’. It can be something such as ‘life is a gift’ and seeing everything from that perspective. Gratitude is a wonderful perspective that helps us everyday in all situations – you can’t be fearful or angry or unhappy if you are grateful. Perspective allows you know realize that you always have choices, you can overcome, you have it much better than you think, and whatever your perspective is, it is correct! In other words, if you perceive that the world is bad or people are bad, then is generally is….and vice versa.
  • Happiness, productivity, health, relationships, money – so many things can be affected. Let’s just take happiness –by reframing a situation or part of our lives can make us happier: the power of reframing things cannot be overstated. What we have is exactly the same thing, the same activity, but one of them makes you feel great and the other one, with just a small change of posture, makes you feel terrible. Choice and uncertainty change our perspectives. Make sure that you understand that there is always another choice. Look for ways to find certainty. (Cognitive reframing is a psychological technique that consists of identifying and then disputing irrational or maladaptive thoughts. Reframing is a way of viewing and experiencing events, ideas, concepts and emotions to find more positive alternatives.)

–Change your perspective and you can change everything! Change the meaning associated with an event, a comment, a situation and you can handle it much differently.

  •  Perspective in regards to the ‘other person’s point of view’ – In any relationship it helps immensely to see the other person’s point of view. To be a leader, you really need to see other’s points of view. To negotiate better, to be a better doctor, nurse, sales person, employer, teacher, etc., it helps to see the other person’s perspective. Ironically, the more you know about the other person’s needs and wants, the better you can sometimes address your own. Perspective puts it all in perspective. In other words, what we take for granted, others envy. Seeing the other person’s view point also gives us a fresh look at our own lives and helps us reflect and grow.

What one thing can you see differently today?

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called Words To Live By”(WTLB).
Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally,sometimes accidentally.
……So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….
–-

BONUS- Ted Talk – Perspective

http://www.ted.com/talks/rory_sutherland_perspective_is_everything

The circumstances of our lives may matter less than how we see them, says Rory Sutherland. At TEDxAthens, he makes a compelling case for how reframing is the key to happiness.

REFRAMING:

(From http://changingminds.org/techniques/general/reframing.htm )

To reframe, step back from what is being said and done and consider the frame, or ‘lens’ through which this reality is being created. Understand the unspoken assumptions, includingbeliefs and schema that are being used.

Then consider alternative lenses, effectively saying ‘Let’s look at it another way.’ Challenge the beliefs or other aspects of the frame. Stand in another frame and describe what you see. Change attributes of the frame to reverse meaning. Select and ignore aspects of words, actions and frame to emphasise and downplay various elements.

Thus, for example, you can reframe:

  • A problem as an opportunity
  • A weakness as a strength
  • An impossibility as a distant possibility
  • A distant possibility as a near possibility
  • Oppression (‘against me’) as neutral (‘doesn’t care about me’)
  • Unkindness as lack of understanding

You can often change a person’s frame simply by changing their emotional state, making them happier, more aggressive, etc. When they are happier, for example, they will be more positive and optimistic (and vice versa).

Frey Freyday – Useful

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.-George Bernard Shaw

Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.-Francis Bacon

Always desire to learn something useful.-Sophocles

Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.-Margaret J. Wheatley

We should not look back unless it is to derive useful lessons from past errors, and for the purpose of profiting by dearly bought experience.-George Washington

Words To Live By:

use·ful –[ˈyo͞osfəl] – being of use or service; serving some purpose; advantageous, helpful, or of good effect:

We all do lots of things, have beliefs, habits that we have done for years.

Maybe we’re scared of something and we’ve been scared for a long time.

Maybe it is a more recent belief.

For instance, I am scared of flying. Therefore I rarely fly. I avoid flying.

So what? Ask this: IS IT USEFUL?

By not flying, does it negatively affect my life? Who is losing out on something because of my fear? Family? Experiences? Maybe my children won’t experience something, I won’t build a relationship, I won’t meet someone, see something, broaden something – you don’t know what you don’t know.

We can change our beliefs. Being scared to fly isn’t useful. Change the belief.

OR, maybe we have a daily habit. Something we do each day.

Ask this: IS IT USEFUL?

For example: We get worried or anxious every morning before arriving at work. Is it useful? Does it help? Probably not ever, right?

We may already know worry doesn’t help but asking the question makes us aware, perhaps in a different way, and we can address the issue differently.

Some people like to be in control. Ask this: IS IT USEFUL?

How does it affect others? Can you let go and have faith? Letting go let’s us act more naturally, more inspired, closer to God even, perhaps. Being in control also takes away the chance for others to lead or be independent.

Other things? Drinking soda? Eating sweets? Not Exercising?

Being right in an argument? Making sure you get the last word? Being in charge?

Lastly, how about that self-talk we all do?
You say thousands of things to yourself each day.

You have thoughts, images, mini-movies playing all day, everyday.

You ask yourself many questions each day.

Catch yourself next time later today and tomorrow and be aware of the thoughts.

Ask this: IS IT USEFUL?

We often make it harder on ourselves don’t we?

Habits, beliefs, thoughts, actions…..

Asking the question “Is it useful?” can help us be more aware, which helps us correct and adjust things, if we desire it.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called Words To Live By”(WTLB).
Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally,sometimes accidentally.
……So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

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How to Comfort Your Inner Worry Wart

How to Comfort Your Inner Worry Wart

 BY TANCIE LEROUX from tut.com

When my children were young, I’d tuck them in at night with kisses and a song. Every now and then their sweet little minds would be wrestling with a worry that was upsetting them.  Maybe someone was being mean; maybe they were nervous about an upcoming game; maybe they felt they’d disappointed their teacher.  Nothing too earth shattering but distressing to their little hearts.

I didn’t want them to go to bed with a troubled mind so I’d strike a bargain before they drifted off to sleep.  “You give me your worries for the night and I’ll take care of them for you.  If they get too big for me, I’ll hand them over to God.”

That seemed reasonable to them, so they’d place their troubles in my hand and float off to La La Land.

Wouldn’t you like to do that?

All of us spend too much time worrying about “what-ifs” and worst case scenarios that will probably never come true.  With the media informing us of every horrific global event and commercials alerting us to every “silent killer” lurking in our own bodies, the world can feel scary and unpredictable at times.

How do you stay calm when you’re worried about your money, your debt, your job, your health, your loved ones, your pets, your home, your country and a myriad of other fears and unforeseen events.  How do you stay at peace in a world you can’t control?

Being a title-holding worry wart, I’ve found 3 ways to manage troublesome thoughts.

1. Take Control of the Controllable.

Not all worry is useless.  It can serve you well when it drives you to take action and solve the problems at hand, but when you’re only fixated on the “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios, chronic worrying can leave you emotionally drained.

The first step is to evaluate your problem by asking whether it’s solvable:  Is it a real problem or an imaginary what-if?  Is the concern realistic?  Am I killing off healthy loved ones in my imagination for no apparent reason? How likely is this to happen?  Can I prepare for it or is it out of my control?

Next is to take any action that’s needed right away.  If you’re anxious about debt, call your creditors and set up a payment plan.  If you’re having pain in your leg, make a doctor’s appointment.  If you’re concerned about the cold weather, move to Southern California.  Focus on the things you can solve rather than the things and conditions that are out of your control.

Whatever’s left, kick it to the curb and focus on ice cream.

2. Make a “God Box”.

I read about The God Box in Tosha Silver’s book Outrageous Openness and I knew I needed one.  Some of us like having something to DO when our nerves need soothing.

Get yourself a dedicated box that feels good to you.  Place it somewhere in your home that’s sacred and personal.  When you have a worry, write it down on a piece of paper and place it in the box.

As you put it inside, call on God (or whatever your divine source is) and release your personal focus and attachment.  Surrender it to your higher power and allow it to use anything and any way it wants to solve your problem and meet your needs.

There’s no “your way or the highway” allowed.  The Universe is more clever and magical than you ever thought possible and always finds the perfect way.

3. Do a Good Deed.

Doing a good deed not only makes you feel warm and fuzzy, it replaces rampant negative energy with positive.

Give needed attention to a loved one, help a sick neighbor, give a compliment to the store clerk or offer a meal to a homeless person.  Any kind act works.  Use your instincts to be led to the right opportunities.

The added benefit is that when you engage in good deeds, your body releases Oxytocin which reduces stress and makes you feel better.  Kindness also triggers feel-good chemicals like dopamine and endorphins which increase your overall well-being.

When you worry, you’re putting too much focus on the future and not enough on the here and now.  Bringing your attention back to the present by controlling what you can, releasing what you can’t and changing your focus to others, lessens your anxiety and puts you in a place of gratitude.

As adults, we have busy and full lives which can give us lots to worry about, but we still have the opportunity to hand it all over to a much wiser and loving power when it feels too big.

When you go to bed tonight and lay your head gently on the pillow, let your “Divine Mother” hold your worries while you sleep and maybe, just maybe, she’ll sing you a lullaby as you drift off to La La Land.

Rest well and sweet dreams.

– See more at:

http://www.tut.com/article/details/156-how-to-comfort-your-inner-worry-wart/?articleId=156

HOW TO CUT YOUR MORTGAGE IN HALF

HOW TO CUT YOUR MORTGAGE IN HALF

ONE SIMPLE STRATEGY THAT WILL SAVE YOU HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS

Although there is still some debate about whether or not you should pay off your mortgage early, the truth is that the math is almost always in your favor. By paying off your mortgage early you will end up paying as little as half your mortgage payments, which is far less than any tax write-off you would otherwise receive.

“It’s a pity,” mortgage expert Marc Eisenson, author of The Banker’s Secret, told The New York Times. “There are millions of people out there who faithfully make their regular mortgage payments because they don’t understand […] the benefits of pocket-change prepayments.”

WHAT ARE POCKET-CHANGE PREPAYMENTS?

When you sign on the dotted line and take on that 30-year fixed-rate mortgage at 6%, as much as 80% of your mortgage payments will go toward interest. Ouch. In fact, your interest payments will tack on an additional 100% or more to your loan value. To find out how much you’ll pay in interest on your own home, use this calculator.

In order to maximize your payments and end up paying less interest, you simply need to start making payments against your principal along with your normal monthly payment. So the next time you write your monthly mortgage check, write a second check for the “principal only” portion of next month’s payment.

THE NOT-SO-MAGIC MATH, IN ACTION

For example, the average American home is $270,000. (This strategy, however, works whatever the cost of your home). A 30-year loan at 6% requires an initial monthly payment of $1,618.

With this technique you would make your usual monthly payment, and then you would also write a second check for an extra $270, which will cover next month’s principal balance. If the whole $270 – or whatever your number is – seems out of reach right now, pay whatever you can. It will still add up. If you continue to do this every month, you will never have to pay interest on the principal that is pre-paid.

To be clear, you are not paying extra money; you are simply paying a little bit sooner, and saving yourself potentially hundreds of thousands in the process. Imagine being free from mortgage payments in just 15 years instead of 30. Would that make those small sacrifices now worth it?

If you aspire to home ownership – or if where you live, owning a home makes more financial sense than renting – taking this one simple step can eliminate one of the single largest expenses of your life.

by http://humanelevation.tonyrobbins.com/blog/money/how-to-cut-your-mortgage-in-half?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_content=Cut%20mortgage&utm_campaign=Editorial

Frey Freyday – Transformation

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

Transformation is a process, and as life happens there are tons of ups and downs. It’s a journey of discovery – there are moments on mountaintops and moments in deep valleys of despair.-Rick Warren


First comes thought; then organization of that thought, into ideas and plans; then transformation of those plans into reality. The beginning, as you will observe, is in your imagination.-Napoleon Hill


Transformation literally means going beyond your form.-Wayne Dyer

Personal transformation can and does have global effects. As we go, so goes the world, for the world is us. The revolution that will save the world is ultimately a personal one.-Marianne Williamson

When we quit thinking primarily about ourselves and our own self-preservation, we undergo a truly heroic transformation of consciousness.-Joseph Campbell

I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value.-Hermann Hesse


We can change our lives. We can do, have, and be exactly what we wish. We can begin transforming into someone new in just one moment, once we decide and take action.-Tony Robbins

The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering.-Ben Okri

Words To Live By:

trans·for·ma·tion – [ˌtransfərˈmāSHən] – change in form, appearance, nature, or character. Metamorphosis. To move beyond a form.

We can all transform our lives in a heartbeat, with one decision, with one action.

We can choose our own path and become someone else.

We can become a better person regardless of our past circumstances, biology, genetics, choices, parents, society or anything else. Others have come from far worse and done great things. Look for those people in the world that have transformed, there are many. Let their successes empower you. If they can do it, so can you.

Find a few models or mentors to emulate. Find someone who already did it and learn from them. Focus on what you want (not what you don’t want), focus on the good things and things that are working in your life (not on the things that aren’t working). Have a plan. Visualize the end result. Stay focused on that good image of the end result and take action each day.

So many of us get stuck in a rut. We believe that we can’t do better. We limit ourselves. We think that because something has happened in the past, we are limited moving ahead.

Instead, that event that we label as “bad” fortune can always give our lives meaning and we can use that event or experience to transform our lives into something of value.

The transformations may be small things in our everyday lives. They can also be huge life changing things that make a big difference. The process and possibilities are the same.

Ask yourself “Why can I now transform into the person I want to be?” and “Why do I have courage to transform?” and “Why do I have permission to transform?”

Sometimes we may believe that we lack the courage and permission to transform.

You have the courage to transform. You have the permission to choose your life.

You can transform anytime you decide, anytime you want to take action.

Frey Freyday was actually born out of something I created called Words To Live By”(WTLB).

Going forward, I will now not only share the quotes, as you may be used to receiving, but also a related (WTLB). In 1999, when we had our first daughter, I was contemplating how I would raise my new beautiful child, and I was thinking about how I can best educate her and my other children about values, morals, and other key thoughts about life. School offers education. Religion offers some values and morals. Parents offer most of it, sometimes intentionally,sometimes accidentally.

……So I created a (WTLB) book, like a dictionary, which lists things like honesty, love, persistence, etc. with a definition that I created, with my wife’s input. I then turned it into a workbook with one word per page and space below for notes. For years we would discuss with my two daughters and they would draw pictures and make notes in the blank space. I may share some of those images with you. As they got older, they were less inclined to draw and more open to quotes and references from adults, hence where Frey Freyday came from….

BONUS; TED Radio Hour – summary podcasts

http://www.npr.org/programs/ted-radio-hour/347104878/transformation?showDate=2015-07-24

Transformation

Are we simply the sum of our experiences? Or can we choose our own path? In this hour, TED speakers share stories of undergoing remarkable transformations despite extraordinary challenges.

This is dedicated in memory of a great teacher, Dr. Wayne Dyer.

A teacher lost…

My parents first introduced me to Wayne Dyer’s teachings in the 1980s.

I continue to still read his old and new stuff…..With gratitude, and in memoriam….

We lost a great leader and teacher in Dr. Wayne Dyer.

Here are a few of his thoughts…..

When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It’s to enjoy each step along the way.

How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.

Go for it now. The future is promised to no one.

Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.

Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life.

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.

It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either.

A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe.

The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.

You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.

 -Wayne Dyer

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