Monthly Archives: May 2014
I came across this from Brendon and thought it was worthwile….
Here’s basically what we know about happiness, from a wide perspective of philosophy, psychology, religion, spirituality, etc.:
Watch: How to be Happier.
You can also download the audio podcast on iTunes.
Happiness is always a hot topic, so I’m sure some folks won’t like my summary. (Unhappy people, mostly:)
I recently saw Chalene Johnson say happiness in business is loving your customers. Love it! See her awesome vids here.
Quotables from this episode:
“We know happiness comes from a specific orientation toward the world, in which we look at the past, the present, and the future in specific ways… It’s being okay with whatever the past is—finding a peace, acceptance and gratitude there allows us to be a little freer in the present.”
“Everything we know in spirituality comes back down to the basics: to having faith, to having a sense of connection to something larger than ourselves, to allow ourselves to be amazed and awed by the mystery of the world, or of this universe, or of our God or Creator, to be honoring of those very things in which we have faith toward…”
“It’s about looking at your life and just doing a full scale evaluation on a Sunday once in a while: Am I emotionally happy? If not, how am I looking at the past, the present, and the future? Am I physically healthy? If not, how am I eating? How am I sleeping? How am I working out? Am I doing the basics here? About my relationships, am I…”
“If your relationships aren’t happy than the answer is, ‘Okay… What is not happening in the relationship? What am I not bringing into this relationship anymore? How am I not sensing and contributing to this relationship anymore? What have I not asked for consistently enough? What is it that they specifically need that might turn it around?”
Watch and read the rest here.
You and your loved ones deserve a happy life.
Don’t hope for it, or wait for it. Choose it, cultivate it, create it. Day. By. Day.
“One of the top motivation and marketing trainers in the world.” —Larry King
#1 New York Times bestselling author of The Millionaire Messenger and The Charge
Founder, Experts Academy and High Performance Academy
Top 150 most followed Public Figures on Facebook
Thank you for giving me a nice weekend with good friends and sunshine.
Thank you for giving me the good things and the bad things. Thank you for later helping me see that not everything I think is bad is bad, and not everything that seems good is good.
Thank you for the challenges and the things that come to me easily.
thank you for helping me understand what’s important and what isn’t – even when I thought it was important.
Thank you for the help with my work and for the safe travel and the health of me and my family and I ask it to continue to help us be the best that we can be for ourselves and those around us.
I ask that we stay healthy and help us each understand that we can keep ourselves healthy and happy each day.
Thank you for the awareness of this moment and the simple things
Who Did This For You?
My greatest mentor in college was Dr. Digby Sale. He would spend hours with me in his office, taking time out of his busy schedule, because he believed in me. Who did this for you? Think about a person, mentor, or coach that helped you believe in yourself. What did this person see in you that no else did? Have you returned the favor? Have you shown another person the best that lies within them? Today, Alex Green explains why it’s so important that you do.
“Strong people don’t put others down…they lift them up.” – Michael P. Watson
Look for the Best in People… And You’re Likely to Find It
By Alex Green
As a father of teenagers, I’m all too familiar with the popular response: “whatever.”
I much prefer how Paul uses the word in Philippians 4: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”
“Whatever” takes a much different tone here doesn’t it? And it reflects a profound truth about what we bring to our own experience, and to our relationships.
Whatever we think about, look for, and expect – to a much larger extent than many of us realize, this is what we will find.
By understanding and owning this concept, we can profoundly improve our effect on others, and find greater joy for ourselves in the process.
When I was a young psychology student I asked my mentor, Nathaniel Branden, “What do you think is the single most important thing that you do with your clients, the one thing that forms the foundation for everything else?”
His answer was simple, but it had a tremendous impact on me.
“I look for the best within people,” he said, “and I try to speak directly to that part of them. Even if they do not see it themselves, I look for it, and speak to it, and I don’t get thrown off by their negative beliefs about themselves.”
Finding the Good
This is one of the most profound acts of taking purposeful command of your perspective with others that you can engage in. It can allow you to enjoy them more, and for them to feel seen, and, in a way that is hard to describe, loved.
When you look for the best within someone, you are looking for their strengths; when you do this, you help them to see and to feel those strengths, too.
You can probably find examples of people who have done this with you: The teacher who saw an ability in you that you didn’t know was there; the coach who knew you could do it; a parent, a friend, a coworker, who believed in you in a way that helped you to believe in yourself.
How we view others can generate a self-fulfilling prophecy: we believe that they will behave in a certain way, or that they will affect us in a certain way, and, lo and behold, it happens! It may have been caused in part by our own expectations and actions.
Robert Merton first described this self-fulfilling prophecy in 1948 as a three-step process:
1. The belief that a certain event will happen.
2. This leads to new behavior that that person would not have otherwise undertaken.
3. The actual events take place, and the prophecy is fulfilled.
When we approach somebody with positive expectations, they will often (not always) tend to move somewhat in that direction. When we approach that same person with negative expectations, they will often (not always) tend to move somewhat in that direction.
This phenomenon was studied several decades ago by Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson, in their book Pygmalion in the Classroom.
In the study the book is based on, they told elementary school teachers that certain students showed high aptitude on an intelligence test (in fact the students were chosen at random). Over the next year, those students from whom the teachers expected impressive work did indeed do better than their peers.
Creating Our Own Reality
We often see what we want to see in people, believing that it is the clear truth. But more often than not, what we are seeing is a complicated combination of the truth, our own beliefs and expectations, a good dose of imagination and interpretation, and the effect that all of this has on our relationship with them.
This isn’t about ignoring objective reality, or denying some horrible behavior like violence, abuse, or criminality.
But when we see only what is wrong with someone, we are not seeing “The Truth.” We are seeing our worst expectations, and we are making it more likely that we will influence that other person to fulfill those expectations.
When we see the best in someone, we are also not seeing “The Truth,” strictly speaking. We are seeing possibilities. We are encouraging them to bring out the best in themselves, and we make it more likely that it will happen; that it will become the truth.
In doing so, what you are growing and nurturing is love. Look for the best in people, and you are likely to find it.
Who helped you believe in yourself?
(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.-Mahatma Gandhi
Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.-Albert Einstein
Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.-Benjamin Franklin
A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.-Bruce Lee
He who learns but does not think, is lost! He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger.-Confucius
He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying.-Friedrich Nietzsche
There is no end to education. It is not that you read a book, pass an examination, and finish with education. The whole of life, from the moment you are born to the moment you die, is a process of learning.-Jiddu Krishnamurti
I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught.-Winston Churchill
He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.-John F. Kennedy
It is paradoxical that many educators and parents still differentiate between a time for learning and a time for play without seeing the vital connection between them.-Leo Buscaglia
I never learned from a man who agreed with me.-Robert A. Heinlein
Learning never exhausts the mind.-Leonardo da Vinci
Prepare for the unknown by studying how others in the past have coped with the unforeseeable and the unpredictable.-George S. Patton
It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.-John Wooden