Monthly Archives: March 2014

Beware the Negativism Virus

Here is a good article to consider.

Beware the Negativism Virus

By Robert Ringer

Though you yourself may possess a positive outlook on life, it’s still a good idea to avoid negative people, particularly those who are critical of your aspirations or goals. Even if you try to ignore negativism in your midst, spoken words (not to mention facial expressions) are recorded by your subconscious mind.

Just as positive images stimulate your body mechanisms to do whatever is necessary to convert those images into physical realities, so it is with negative images, which explains the phenomenon of “self-fulfilling prophecies.” If you allow too much negativism to enter your subconscious mind — let alone your conscious mind — when difficulties arise, it’s quite natural to begin wondering if your critics weren’t right after all.

Life loves to beat you down, but you have no obligation to help it do so. And because life offers plenty to be negative about, that’s all the more reason to avoid negative people.

You need all the positive thoughts you can absorb in order to combat the never-ending stream of unpleasantness that invites itself into your life. In extreme cases, a negative thought can nudge a person from frustration to despair, and despair can rapidly become a terminal problem.

Negativism can sneak up on you before you realize the impact it’s having on your thoughts. Some of the nicest people I know are negative, which in some respects makes them potentially more dangerous than negative people who are nasty. It’s natural to be on guard when you’re around a malevolent person, but you tend to let down your guard when you’re in the presence of someone who is generally pleasant.

In fact, negativism often comes from those closest to you, particularly family members, which can make it an especially difficult problem to deal with. The friend or family member offering “advice” may be well meaning, but his observations could still be incorrect.

Because of this danger, you should condition yourself to make tough decisions when it comes to not allowing even the nicest negative people to come into, or stay in, your life. If you need inspiration to accomplish this, just ask yourself how many times you’ve achieved successful results when you were in a negative state of mind.

Constructive advice from the right party can be worth a fortune to you, while ill-intended criticism from the wrong party can do more to tear you down, damage your self-esteem, and prevent you from actively pursuing your dreams than just about anything else I can imagine.

As such, it’s important to be selective about the people from whom you accept criticism. Do you respect the person handing out the criticism? Are his own hands clean with regard to the subject matter of his criticism? Does he have his own life in order? If the answer to any of these questions is no, just thank the person for his “concern,” delete his comments from your mind, and walk away.

The agendas of some people seem to be nothing more than to discourage others, preferably by assuring them that they can’t succeed at what they’re trying to accomplish. If there’s one thing you don’t need in your life, it’s someone who emphasizes negatives and tries to chip away at your self-confidence.

A pathological critic usually is just an unhappy person who repeatedly confirms the truth in the old saying “misery loves company.” Such an individual thrives on the opportunity to pull others down to his level, and, if you’re not careful, he can soon have you prostrating yourself and relating your troubles to him.

At that point, he’s got you. He will happily pontificate to you, appoint himself as your psychologist, and tell you everything that’s wrong with you — with a certitude that implies that he is problem-free and totally well adjusted. His ultimate joy is to succeed in making you psychologically dependent upon him. In this regard, be especially wary of so-called experts, particular self-anointed experts whose chief objective seems to be to make certain that you clearly understand their superiority over you.

Writers learn about negativism from experts early on, because they are criticized regularly by total strangers, particularly book reviewers. Ignoring professional critics isn’t an act of defiance; it’s a matter of survival. A writer would have to be suicidal to base his work on the opinions of a handful of critics.

In this regard, two quotes have been enormously helpful to me over the years, preventing me from allowing my philosophy and writing style to be altered by critical comments. The first, which I read every morning before sitting down to write, is from E. B. White: “The whole duty of a writer is to please and satisfy himself, and the true writer always plays to an audience of one.” The second is from Ayn Rand: “Freedom comes from seeing the ignorance of your critics and discovering the emptiness of their virtue.”

In substance, these two quotes apply to everyone, not just writers. It is both admirable and noble to believe in your work and your code of ethics strongly enough to be able to ignore uninvited criticism. I’m sure you don’t need me to remind you that to the degree you are successful, you will be criticized, because success breeds jealousy and envy.

To paraphrase the late 19th century essayist Elbert Hubbard, the only way to escape criticism is to say and do nothing, which, in turn, guarantees that you will accomplish nothing. Constructive advice can be of great value, but ill-intended criticism from the wrong party can become a huge obstacle to action.

How have you escaped negativity?

[Ed. Note: Robert Ringer is the author of three #1 bestsellers, two of which have been listed by The New York Times among the 15 best-selling motivational books of all time. Robert has often been referred to as the “mentor’s mentor” because he has been an inspiration to so many famous mentors in the fields of personal development, marketing, and motivation. To receive your FREE e-book copy of Robert Ringer’s life-changing New York Times #1 bestselling classic, Looking Out for #1,

DEALING WITH THE PAST

Some great thoughts from Brendon Burchard

DEALING WITH THE PAST

We begin with this: aliveness, joy, openness, curiosity, love. Whether or not we keep these things is up to us alone.

Yet we often blame lack of those things on our past, on those who treated us poorly in years gone by. It’s not popular to say this, but here it is: Our personal past is only relevant if we choose to make it relevant. In this moment, we can direct our aim, attitude, affection, and actions in any way we desire now, regardless of the past. This isn’t to say the past is irrelevant, or that the previous chapters of our life’s story didn’t have depth and meaning and influence. It’s simply to say that as conscious and mature humans we have the remarkable ability to direct our minds and lives in this moment.

Yes, there was pain and hardship and disappointment for all of us. But let’s not let those darker moments or years now paint the color of our emotional sky. Let us not be so confused by the darkness that we fail to see the extraordinary light, those beaming and beautiful moments that blessed our lives. It’s the lesson written in a million ways across most spiritual practices: The only useful time in considering the past is to be grateful for it, to make peace with it, to accept or forgive it, to learn from it and use it as a springboard in deciding who we wish to be today.

No one pretends this work is easy. Some find it painful, impossible. A stunning number of people are living out self-images and a set of beliefs and standards that were developed not by choice but by their automatic responses to the events and people from their past. Some make their past a convenient dumping ground for unmet expectations and regret. (“She should have treated me this way, not that way; I should have been better cared for; I wish I had done this or that.”) Some say, “Well you just don’t understand. This thing happened to me…” as if their ego has allowed them to believe they are the only one across the millennia or of seven billion alive today who endured such a thing. And so today, some blame their past (or their unconscious hangover from it) on their failures in making good choices for themselves.

Bad things happened to us, no doubt, but surely that cannot be the sole justification of bad behavior today. Good things happened, too. If only we could integrate those lessons and joys and blessings as much as the wounds.

What if a person’s bad choices or low self-image needn’t be tied to the past? For even if you wade backwards and seek the dark crevices of yesterday, what will you do after the visit? You will at some point have to swim back to the stream of Now, to stand upon the shores of today, to rest and sit down and decide who you want to be, how you want to treat others, what you want your life to be about from this moment forth. Isn’t that the aim of all therapies that glance backwards anyway? The only goal of any helpful and responsible therapy is ultimately to bring the patient back to today, to help him or her develop agency and responsibility for their lives today, to make better decisions and create healthier habits for themselves today. There is no joy or learning or growth in living in the past forever. All progress is made in positive beliefs and behaviors enacted… today.

So, for some of us, we might choose to skip all the neck cranking and simply sit down and do that work: What decisions and habits can I begin making today that will improve my life? That one question brings it all into focus.

Again, no one pretends this work is easy. Some people need professional assistance and therapy to do this work, and without question, they should seek it. So, to those who will hate on this post, or accuse me of being cold, or drag their past here screaming with great ego and hurt, or seek to belittle humankind’s remarkable ability to rise from their history and transcend, fear not: I acknowledge many people need assistance in dealing with their past (and life). And they should seek it.

I also champion people without judgment for their strength, for struggling through, for being alive today, for meeting life with hope and guts and readiness.

But I don’t fear being blunt either: Some people simply need to turn off the blame and the television, to sit down with a journal on a regular basis, and to finally, after all this time, think about their life and consciously choose their identity, their habits, their relationships, their purpose, their next chapter.

No matter where we have been, let us now be strong and grateful, and let us get to work on our lives.

Brendon Burchard – Live. Love. Matter.
www.brendonburchard.com
Brendon Burchard Official Site. Author of The Charge and The Millionaire Messenger. Founder of Experts Academy and High Performance Academy.
Seminars·Books·Speaking·Video·Coaching·Contact

The Brain Cannot Multi-task

Here is a good book and website for all
http://www.brainrules.net
Here is a great site for pregnant moms and new parents
http://www.brainrules.net/brain-rules-for-baby

And an article from that site…..
The Brain Cannot Multi-task

Here’s what happens when you attempt to multi-task.
The brain is an amazing thing. Most of us have no idea what’s really going on inside our heads. Yet brain scientists have uncovered details every business leader, parent, and teacher should know.

How do we learn? What exactly do sleep and stress do to our brains? Why is multi-tasking a myth? What can science tell us about raising smart, happy children?

In Brain Rules, Dr. John Medina, a molecular biologist, shares his lifelong interest in how the brain sciences might influence the way we teach our children and the way we work. In each chapter, he describes a brain rule—what scientists know for sure about how our brains work—and then offers transformative ideas for our daily lives

If workplaces had nap rooms, multitasking was frowned upon, and meetings were held during walks, we’d be vastly more productive.
Learn more in John Medina’s new book, “Brain Rules.” http://www.brainrules.net/

Medina’s fascinating stories and infectious sense of humor breathe life into brain science. You’ll learn why Michael Jordan was no good at baseball. You’ll peer over a surgeon’s shoulder as he proves that most of us have a Jennifer Aniston neuron. You’ll meet a boy who has an amazing memory for music but can’t tie his own shoes.

You will discover how:

Every brain is wired differently
Exercise improves cognition
We are designed to never stop learning and exploring
Memories are volatile
Sleep is powerfully linked with the ability to learn
Vision trumps all of the other senses
Stress changes the way we learn
In the end, you’ll understand how your brain really works—and how to get the most out of it.

The 12 Brain Rules, illustrated

After you read a chapter, reinforce the main points through illustrations, charts and video.

EXERCISE | Rule #1: Exercise boosts brain power.
SURVIVAL | Rule #2: The human brain evolved, too.
WIRING | Rule #3: Every brain is wired differently.
ATTENTION | Rule #4: We don’t pay attention to boring things.
SHORT-TERM MEMORY | Rule #5: Repeat to remember.
LONG-TERM MEMORY | Rule #6: Remember to repeat.
SLEEP | Rule #7: Sleep well, think well.
STRESS | Rule #8: Stressed brains don’t learn the same way.
SENSORY INTEGRATION | Rule #9: Stimulate more of the senses.
VISION | Rule #10: Vision trumps all other senses.
GENDER | Rule #11: Male and female brains are different.
EXPLORATION | Rule #12: We are powerful and natural explorers.

Are you a victim? Can you improve with just a choice?

It is easier to see others’s faults, isn’t it?

Just the other day I saw someone that was letting himself feel like a victim. For a moment I sat and judged him and shook my head….but then I realized I too do similar things…we all do….

From everything that I understood, it was all in his head. He felt like a victim, his vocabulary was that of a victim, and his focus, and results supported it.

BUT….Then again, don’t we all let ourselves feel like a victim from time to time?

We all feel like the weather, the traffic, the boss, the lottery, something or someone is taking advantage of us or we’re the victim in some way from time to time, right? Even those people who are winners in life seem to have one or two things, even minor things, where we allow this to happen.

Many times we get mad, or sometimes depressed, about the situation we’re in …. we get caught in a loop and get caught with a victim mentality, at least about one subject or item. Many times we might have a hard time admitting our faults, our ego might get in the way, or we feel sorry for ourselves-we take pity upon ourselves.

….but just like that one guy the other night can change, you and I can go from being a victim to not being a victim anymore – by just making a choice.

  • We can choose to be in control, to take responsibility, to be accountable for our actions, and in one move, we’re no longer a victim. We can make a choice not to be the victim.

Often times when we’re in the victim mode, we feel out of control, maybe oppressed, and we feel negative emotions.

Feeling like a victim is also about how we interpret events, how we view our options, and whether or not we are proactive or reactive, whether we have a plan, attack life or let life attack us. In any part of life we can choose how something will affect us.

–Don’t get me wrong either – I am not making light of serious events – like someone that was a victim of a crime or a victim in a serious accident or affected by an illness. These can be formidable challenges.

The choice, the attitude, the action to go from victim to non-victim is almost the same as a serious injury or crime as it might be for an everyday type of situation. Look at how people might either rebound from a crime or accident while others languish and take years, if not decades, to recover from a very similar event.

Soldiers in war often have very similar injuries or experience the same trauma in a battle but some recover faster. Why? Many times it can be attributed to how they face the challenge, whether or not they believe it can be overcome, if they feel that it can make them stronger, whether or not they feel that they can learn from it. Maybe they feel that they survived because they have something to give back to the world. Maybe they’re grateful for the experience, the wisdom, or maybe just grateful for being alive.

Others might feel that they have a destiny, that they can share their experiences to help others. In a moment one person chose something different.

I once heard two men from the same battle in Vietnam speak. It is a fact that the battle was long, many died, many were injured, these two were some of the few that made it without a serious injury. The first man saw many around him killed, many others injured. He came away from it bitter; he felt humans were killers, he saw life as being a bloody fight, that he couldn’t trust many people, he saw others being victimized and felt like a victim. It was pretty clear that he had not moved on from that battle decades later. The other man also saw the same death and injuries. But instead of being bitter, he was so grateful for being alive, for having a second chance. He felt like he had a mission – to live life, to build a family, to contribute, to give back, to be happy with the time he had left, to remember those that passed, and to forgive and move on….it wasn’t easy for either certainly but the second made a choice to overcome it, it was a proactive thought with a vision. He admitted that he made mistakes and didn’t always knew the best way but he kept moving ahead and tried. The first man essentially was reactive, he let life happen to him and he felt helpless. He didn’t try to get better.

On a smaller level, regarding far less serious challenges we might all face – think of someone in your life, at work, at school….who is constantly challenged and victimized by things that you consistently just work through.

Good for you for working through these things. Are there any other things where you might feel like a victim?

You have the power and strength and grace to overcome. Many with less have overcome far worse.

Choose to overcome your situation now. Look at things in your life. Awareness is the first step.

Congrats on all the things you’ve overcome and getting where you are today….

Simple Stuff – Friendship

(Simple Stuff is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

Friendship… is not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.-Muhammad Ali

A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.-Elbert Hubbard

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.-C. S. Lewis

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.-Helen Keller

Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.-George Washington

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?-Abraham Lincoln

Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness.-Euripides

My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.-Henry Ford

It is more shameful to distrust our friends than to be deceived by them.-Confucius

Decisions

A good quick one from tony robbins: 

Realize the power of a single decision acted upon immediately and with utter conviction.

The secret is to make a public commitment, one so forceful you cannot turn back from it.

What could you, too, accomplish if you invoked a similar level of passion, conviction, and action to create unstoppable momentum

Upbeat videos

Ever looking for upbeat videos, positive stuff?
Check out www.liftbump.com

Sort of like the upbeat Youtube.

http://liftbump.com/

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