I continue to run into people who face many of the same situations that I faced not long ago. Perhaps some were more serious, some less serious than my own – the point is that I feel that I have some experiences and ideas about what helped me through those times.
In other words, I have had some challenges, like many others, in my life/work/relationships/health/finances. It brought me down in many ways. But I do feel that I was able to recover and regroup – I feel much better about my life and I believe, at least for me, these simple things made a difference. I hope it can help someone else.
- We all have stuff in life/work/relationships/health/finances that isn’t working right now. “My boss is incompetent.” “I don’t have enough money to take a nice vacation.” “She doesn’t listen to me about the kids.” It may be true but focusing on it doesn’t empower us.
- Focus on what works – keep looking at what is improving in life/work/relationships/health/finances instead. “My boss cares about me.” “I improved my finances and paid off that Visa, I have just enough to buy an ice cream.” “She is so supportive about my work, hobbies, and friends.”
- Trust me, this small switch, done each week or each day, makes a difference! For me, I need to write it down on paper to have the full effect. Looking for good stuff is tough at first but gets easier.
- This will empower you, you’ll focus on the good, and you’ll feel a little better, at least.
Focus on what you want, instead of what you don’t.
- We all have a habit of saying what we don’t want.
- “I don’t want to work at this job.” “I don’t like this person.” “I don’t want this.”
- Again true, but not empowering.
- Instead, flip each one to something you do want.
- “I want a job where I can be creative, work as a team, travel, and earn $50K.” (or whatever)
- “I want a person who listens, enjoys comedy, and likes dogs.”
- “I want ________” (be specific).
- That way you (and your subconscious) focus on something positive, on a goal of sorts, and on an end result. Thinking about what you don’t want actually reinforces your thoughts about that.
Focus on your feelings.
- It sounds touchie-feelie and odd, I realize, but even for those of us that appear to be logical, cool and calm, our emotions are part of our daily lives.
- Managing your emotions can make a world of difference. Attach positive emotions to everyday things. Focus on things that make you smile, laugh, or feel good. There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
- What if you approached your life – each moment – with enthusiasm? With excitement and concentration? With courage? (instead of fear, regret, disappointment, hesitation)
- What if you approached each relationship with love, kindness, compassion, excitement, openness, trust? (instead of distrust, hate, selfishness, etc.)
Lastly – this time of year most of us have already done the summer vacation and we’re full speed into fall. Maybe some are thinking about the next vacation, the next ‘get-away’. Here’s a good quote…..
“Instead of wondering where your next vacation is, maybe you ought to set up a life you don’t need to escape from.”