Monthly Archives: July 2012

Simple Stuff 5

(SIMPLE STUFF is a short bit of ideas, quotes, phrases, and ‘stuff’ to help you stay focused, stay loose, ask better questions, and laugh a bit.)

“One of the most important decisions you’ll ever make is choosing the kind of Universe you exist in: is it helpful and supportive, or hostile and unsupportive? Your answer to this question will make all the difference in terms of how you live your life and what kind of Divine assistance you attract.”

Dr. Wayne Dyer

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

-Mark Twain (1835-1910); [Samuel Clemens] humorist, essayist, novelist

“You are now at a crossroads. This is your opportunity to make the most important decision you will ever make. Forget your past. Who are you now? Who have you decided you really are now? Don’t think about who you have been. Who are you now? Who have you decided to become? Make this decision consciously. Make it carefully. Make it powerfully.”

Anthony Robbins quotes

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright

I have an existential map. It has ‘You are here’ written all over it.
Steven Wright

Why Multi-Tasking Makes You Stupid – and what to do instead!

Why Multi-Tasking Makes You Stupid – and what to do instead!

This was posted on

and written by on 5/24/12

From Jim Edwards below

“Multi-tasking makes you stupid! Your brain can’t handle it. Here’s what to do instead… and all you need is a simple post-it note and a good strategy I share with you in the video.

Words to Live By: Responsibility

(This is one of a part of a series of WORDS TO LIVE BY. This series grew out of a workbook I first made for my young daughters and discussed at the dinner table. These Words include values, good ideas, and Words to aspire to….and learn from….enjoy!)

In my college years I thought that I was responsible….basically because I kept up a half decent GPA and didn’t get into trouble. Nothing really that great in retrospect. The first time I really knew what responsibility was started in May 1990. College was over for the summer. I decided that I needed to take a week off to ‘rest’ from my hard studies (was I serious?). So the next week I started working in my father’s sales agency for the summer. Soon after my father had his second heart attack.

Now my father later recovered and lived many more years. But he missed most of that summer. Young Jim (me) grew up fast. I’m glad it happened but it wasn’t fun at the time. I had to learn the business quickly – almost overnight. I had to learn what it meant to service clients, work with vendors, pay bills, logistics, etc. etc. My mother was out of town at the hospital with my father most of the week so I had the house to care for right away. Our well (water) went bad and I had to figure that out.

So I was responsible for the business and home. But through that process I also reflected on how ‘soft’ I was and how I was not being responsible nor was I taking any responsibility in my life. I was blaming others, blaming circumstances, angry at others, and I did not respond well to challenges. I was thinking like a victim instead of a leader or a winner. It is this latter definition of responsibility that I wish to discuss with you now.

Deepak Chopra says “responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for your situation. Having accepted this circumstance, this event, this problem, responsibility then means the ABILITY to have a creative RESPONSE to the situation as it is now.” Every crisis or problem also has an opportunity in it – this type of awareness allows you to take your situation and transform it to a better situation.

So in a moment of responsibility there is a level of Acceptance (Words To Live By: Acceptance. ). When someone or something comes into your life, confronts you, whatever – accept that the moment is as it should be. There is meaning in all events. There is opportunity and education. This all helps YOU evolve. When you blame, point the finger, or source out the responsibility, you’re ignoring the root, the problem and the opportunity and education. Without accepting responsibility we can’t move on either.

I think it is important to remember that responsibility is the “ability to respond.”

Stay in the Driver’s Seat by taking responsibility in all situations.  Many people tend to fall into a victim mindset when they are challenged in life. Acting as a victim – blaming other people or things – disable us and it’s as though we are trapped and cannot do anything to change.

Think about it…would you knowingly want to face the world with fear or in fear? Then why face it as a victim? Things ‘happen’ to a victim, and not in a good way.

When we take responsibility, we gain control and power over ourselves and the situation.

Similarly, take responsibility for your accomplishments, the good things. I know that I am someone who rarely looks back and appreciates the good things. I often focus on what I have not yet accomplished. Take a moment to see how you were able to respond to life recently, things that you’ve done or accomplished. Build some good references for the future. Don’t get hung up here because the past does not equal the future – but use the accomplishments and good stuff to gain momentum.

Responsibly yours,

Simple Stuff 4

(SIMPLE STUFF is a short bit of ideas, quotes, phrases, and ‘stuff’ to help you stay focused, stay loose, ask better questions, and laugh a bit.)

“I try to learn from the past, but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present. That’s where the fun is.” -Donald Trump

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
George Carlin
When you feel frustrated or upset by a person or situation, remember that you are not reacting to that person or situation, but to your feelings about the person or situation. These are Your feelings and your feelings are not someone else’s fault.
– Deepak Chopra
A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.
Albert Einstein
There’s nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you’re insightful about it.
Dennis Miller

Are you afraid of failure?

How to overcome the fear of failure and Better Mantras to use.

When I ask someone what they mean when they say they’re afraid of failure, they typically reply, “Well, Jim, I’m afraid I might fail.” And so they don’t try anything. That certainly guarantees they won’t fail, right?

Many people use fear of failure as an excuse for not taking the necessary actions to develop new skills that will move them forward. What they don’t understand is that you can’t succeed until you fail first.

Remember back when you first learned to learn sports, or ride a bike? We all fell down, we got bruised, skinned your knee. And we all then you got up, dusted ourselves off, and continued on until you fell off again.

Falling didn’t stop you from trying, right? Did you ever hear of a kid who quit trying and never learned to ride a bike? Of course not. Failure was not an option.

Whether they realize it or not, people use fear of failure as an excuse to avoid taking responsibility for their success.

There is a myth about successful people – it is that they never fail. In reality, the truth is successful people fail a lot more than unsuccessful people-but they don’t attach any meaning to it. Just like you didn’t when you fell off your bike learning to ride.

For successful people, failing doesn’t mean they are a failure. They know everyone has failures and missteps-and it’s how you handle them that matters. Let’s look at some examples, shall we?

In the early ’80s, a young singer left an abusive household in Indiana and hitchhiked to L.A., armed only with his music and an attitude. Over the next couple of years, he spent his days crashing in a rundown apartment and his nights playing with a long string of bands that never got a big break.

 But unlike the legions of would-be rockers who threw in the towel, Axl Rose never wavered from exactly what he wanted. He was on a mission. “Going into Guns N’ Roses, there wasn’t a number two [backup plan],” says the legendary front man. “At that time I was going to make it in a band, and it was all the way or bust.”

Nothing can stop a man or woman with a vision. And rockers aren’t the only ones who know this. I recently read an article on a website called by Jim Rohrbach.

It is a great article. The author there recommends that you ‘Make persistence your mantra’

He goes onto say “While the world was using candles and whale oil for light in 1878, an inventor in Menlo Park, N.J., was determined to find a better way. Inventors had been pursuing a light bulb since early in the 19th century, but it was Thomas Edison and his team that worked persistently until they came up with a usable incandescent bulb. Painstakingly testing filaments made from an endless variety of materials from wires to animal hairs, Edison finally developed a carbonized bamboo filament that could burn some 600 hours by 1880. (And by 1882, Edison had established the Edison Electrical Light Company and was providing New York City with electricity to power his invention.)

“I have not failed,” Edison famously said of his lengthy pursuit of a practical prototype. “I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Imagine if Edison had said, “Gee, I’d like to find the right filament for the light bulb, but I’m afraid I won’t, so never mind-I don’t want to look foolish.” We’d be reviewing client statements with candles right now! Of course, Edison went on not only to invent the light bulb but to garner more than 1,000 patents for his many world­changing inventions (including-did you know?-the stock ticker).

Persistence, Edison knew well, is a powerful key to defeating the specter of failure.

( – by Jim Rohrbach)

What is our fear?

For me, I know that, especially in the past (and even occasionally today) I am too concerned with what family, friends, peers, and teachers say about what I attempt to do.  Many people are afraid of our peers and family input.

Jim Rohrbach also pointed out in his article that “fear of failure is a self-fulfilling prophecy: when you say you can’t do something, you’re selling this idea to yourself.”

The author of Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill wrote, “Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the Seed of an equivalent or a greater Benefit.” Stick that on your refrigerator.

Solutions Based Thinking

Make a turnaround, make a miracle happen…

In this blog post: How you can change a negative situation or relationship….and how you can focus on the goal instead of the obstacle….and working with the emotional and logical parts inside You…..

I am reading the book “Switch” by Chip and Dan Heath. I recommend that you read it.

Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard

It discusses a number of great ideas related to change, changing habits, planning and how we humans approach life, and how we can make changes better – both personally and at an organizational level.

In their own words the Heath brothers summarize the book as such: “It puzzled us–why do some huge changes, like marriage, come joyously, while some trivial changes, like submitting an expense report on time, meet fierce resistance?

We found the answer in the research of some brilliant psychologists who’d discovered that people have two separate “systems” in their brains—a rational system and an emotional system. The rational system is a thoughtful, logical planner. The emotional system is, well, emotional—and impulsive and instinctual. When these two systems are in alignment, change can come quickly and easily (as when a dreamy-eyed couple gets married). When they’re not, change can be grueling (as anyone who has struggled with a diet can attest).

In those situations where change is hard, is it possible to align the two systems? Is it possible to overcome our internal “schizophrenia” about change? We believe it is.

SOLUTIONS BASED THERAPY: Therapy is often a good thing for us humans. Since you and I are human, let’s talk about that. We go in and talk, bring out our ‘issues’ and get things off our chest. Therapy helps many, many people.

The book discusses how traditional therapy is different from solutions based therapy. In traditional therapy we dig into our past, look at our childhood and dig out all the reasons why we are the way we are. The book suggests, partially in jest, that “after $50,000 and years of therapy you can now blame your mother.” This is not to say traditional therapy doesn’t work, it often does.

However, my discussion today is focused on the other type – solutions based therapy. These types of therapists don’t typically dig into your past. They don’t find out if your dad didn’t hug you enough or if you were scared of bats.

Solutions based therapy does what it says, they provide you a solution. If you’ve got a problem, let’s work on a solution, right now. OK, go do it.

Example: A married couple is angry, tense, and having issues. They aren’t getting along well. They are arguing a lot, not intimate nearly as much as they want to be, they are unhappy and there is a daily struggle. The tension and arguing are affecting the kids and both spouses are feeling it.

So a solutions based therapist doesn’t go to the wife and see if she has ‘daddy issues’ nor would the therapist do the same for the husband.

They simply go and ask one great question to each of the spouses , and I paraphrase,

“Imagine that you went to sleep tonight and there was some kind of miracle that happened while you slept. When you woke up, what’s the first small sign you’d see that would make you think, ‘Well, something must have happened – the problem is gone?’!?’

Typically then the spouse would respond by saying that they’d feel happy, at ease, and that they’d be more pleasant to the other spouse, more relaxed. The therapist also asks questions like “What would you want to see instead?” It is key to find a replacement behavior and/or habit for anything negative. It is much harder to say not to do “that” – it is easier to say to do something else instead.

Often the spouse responds by saying something like their mate would be listening after they woke up. The therapist would continue “How could you tell that your spouse was listening?” It asks them to identify the results what they want, expectations are clearer, clarity helps all parties. There is then an end result in mind.

The miracle itself is irrelevant and not discussed.

There are other examples of how similar questions were used with a ‘troubled student’ and organizations, too. This methodology could be used for someone with a drinking problem….almost any concern. “If a miracle solved your drinking problem, what would you be doing different the next morning? – What’s the first small sign that made you realize that your problem was gone?”

This is a wonderful approach not only to therapy but to our daily lives. Ask a better question, find a solution and take action. Some people think this is too simple. After the above exercise and questions are asked, the authors suggest a second pivot question: “When was the last time that you saw even a little bit of the miracle, even just for a short time?” Then you replay the scene when things were working for you. What was happening? How did you behave? Were you smiling? How did you feel?

Solutions based therapists “learn to focus their patients on the first hints of the miracle…Pretty cool, right?

What if you wrote this type of open ended question down and carried it with you each day?

What if you tried to apply it to your daily life – your relationships? Career? Health?

It gets you focusing on the ‘good stuff’ instead of what isn’t working. It gets you looking at how we can improve things, how we can solve a problem, rather than just talk about it and think about it (even more).

There are many great things in the book Switch but I think this chapter is very valuable. I may riff about other parts but this one is worth being a solo post.

View our Youtube channel HERE

Simple Stuff 3

(SIMPLE STUFF is a short bit of ideas, quotes, phrases, and ‘stuff’ to help you stay focused, stay loose, ask better questions, and laugh a bit.)

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.
Dr. Wayne Dyer

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

While a child attending kindergarten, cannot fully comprehend all the priceless reasons they are there – to socialize, make friends, grow, and prepare for ever higher realms of awareness – by that age they can, nevertheless, sense and grasp that their wise and doting parents have kept their very best interests in mind, and that is enough. Because with this awareness, they can at least stop trying to figure everything out and simply start enjoying their hand painting, alphabet lessons, and cat-naps. Knowing that even if they break a crayon or some lad pulls a chair out from under them, they’re still exactly where they should be, everything is going to turn out just grand, and everyone back home is as proud as can be. And oh my goodness, we are so proud of you.                                    Do I “over-dote”?
The Universe (Mike Dooley,

What Does It Take to Feel Wealthy?

What Does It Take to Feel Wealthy?

Published: Thursday, 19 Jul 2012 | 10:49 AM ET
by: Robert Frank, CNBC Reporter & Editor
Yuri Kuzmin | iStock Vectors | Getty Images

What would you need to feel wealthy?

The question of how much people need to feel rich has been studied for ages, and just about every study comes to a similar conclusion: people need twice their current net worth or income to feel wealth.

The findings are remarkably consistent, no matter the wealth or income level. People worth $10 million say they would require at least $20 million to feel wealthy, while those with an income of $40,000 a year inevitably say they would feel wealthy with $80,000.

A new study from Fidelity is largely consistent with this Doubling Up Wealth theory. Fidelity asked more than 1,000 millionaires how much they would need to feel wealthy.

While most of the millionaires felt wealthy (probably the wealthier ones), the ones who didn’t said they would need $5 million in investible assets. The average wealth of the group was $3 million.

An earlier study from Fidelity found that millionaires needed $7.5 million to feel wealthy. So maybe millionaires are downsizing their expectations for being rich. What’s more, more millionaires this year felt they were wealthy, even though their average net worth is slightly lower.

How much would you need to feel wealthy?

The study also gave us some broader details about today’s millionaires. It found that 86 percent are self-made, as opposed to inheriting their fortunes. (Though  the term “self-made” has become controversial).

The average age of today’s millionaire is 61. So all those Silicon Valley whiz kids, celebrities and athletes are outliers. The real rich are old.

The top sources of wealth for the self-made millionaires were investments and capital appreciation; compensation and employee stock options or profit sharing. Self-made millionaires feel just as secure as the inherited rich, although inheritors were more likely to use financial advisors.

How much do you need to feel wealthy?

-By CNBC’s Robert Frank

Simple Stuff 2

(SIMPLE STUFF is a short bit of ideas, quotes, phrases, and ‘stuff’ to help you stay focused, stay loose, ask better questions, and laugh a bit.)

If you don’t like your job, you don’t strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That’s the American way. – Homer Simpson

“What is defeat? Nothing but education; nothing but the first step to something better.” Wendell Phillips
“Change is inevitable. Progress is optional.” Unknown

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
George Carlin

What can I do or say to people in my life to make them feel more special?

Words To Live By: Visualization part 4

I THINK VISUALIZATION IS one of the most important things in life – I even want to do it more myself.
Here is another ‘part’ about it…enjoy!

Visualization is one of the best techniques for harnessing your mind’s power to shape your life and move you towards your dreams. Some call it mental imagery, too, there are lots of names for it.The idea is simple – practice the video of what you want over and over, in great detail. Basically imagine it!

We all want to do different and various things – maybe you’re looking to be more positive, to stick to your diet, to improve your golf swing or to end a bad habit.

Simply create an idea, a vision or an image of something new.

There is a program that teaches visualization called the “Silva Method”. They state the following:

“In creative visualization, we use the power of imagination to create a mental image of what we want to accomplish or obtain.

Your goal could be on any level
  • physical
  • emotional
  • mental
  • spiritual

You might imagine yourself driving that BMW you always wanted, owning a home in the country, married to your ideal mate, succeeding at your job or having $100,000.00 in your bank account.

No matter what your goal, the technique is basically the same. You imagine the desired outcome in your mind. At the same time, you repeat a positive affirmation about the goal. The affirmation is in the present tense.

Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire,you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.

~ George Bernard Shaw (1856 – 1950)

The Scientific Evidence

There is strong scientific evidence that visualization can be used to dramatically improve your results in sports, public speaking, performing arts and anything else which involves practice.

In one study, Australian psychologist Allen Richardson conducted an experiment with basketball players making hoop shots. He divided the players in three groups.

  • Group A – was asked to practice their shots on a basketball court for 20 minutes a day.
  • Group B – was asked not to practice at all.
  • Group C – was asked to mentally rehearse shooting a basketball through a hoop for 20 minutes each day.

At the end of the study Group A improved their hoop shot ability by 25%. Group B, as expected, showed no improvement at all.

What was truly surprising, was that Group C improved by 24%, almost as much as Group A, even though they had not physically set foot in a basketball court.

There is also overwhelming scientific evidence that visualization can be used to heal the body. Doctors such as O. Carl Simonton have been helping patients recover from serious illnesses such as cancer by combining visualization with modern medicine. The patients often made dramatic improvements simply by visualizing their bodies behaving in ideal, healthy ways.

We’ll look at more of this fascinating evidence in our next lesson which will be on mind-body healing.

What we’re going to suggest in this lesson is something even more incredible.

Your mind’s influence is not just limited to improving your emotions, skills and physical body. Your mind can influence the world outside your apparent physical control.

In other words, your mind can spawn amazing coincidences to move you towards your goals. The coincidences could be things that were seemingly unconnected to you and beyond your control.

The techniques we will teach you do not just make you more focused on your goals. They directly influence your reality.

Laboratory evidence pouring out of universities such as Princeton and Stanford has shown that volunteers are able to influence matter by their thoughts. So far the evidence has been limited to effects on random number generators, dice and electronic equipment. We will look at some of this evidence in Lesson Seven.

What is still lacking is scientific evidence that visualization can create “coincidences” in the physical world, outside your immediate control. This of course, is hard to test in a lab.

But thousands of scientists and millions of other people in the world do believe in this because they have experienced it in their own lives.

In short, just because an effect cannot be tested in a lab, does not mean it does not exist.

Some of the greatest thinkers in the world—Einstein, Edison, Jung, Carnegie and Goethe (the man with the highest recorded IQ, 210)—all believed in the power of the mind to create coincidences.

I believe that the mind has the power to affect groups of atoms and even tamper with the odds of atomic behavior, and that even the course of the world is not predetermined by physical law, but may be altered bythe uncaused volition of human beings.

~ Sir Arthur Stanley Eddington, English mathematician and AstroPhysicist

Let’s take a look at some of these personal experiences. Millions of people worldwide have reported such coincidences.

while affirmations are good, Silva pioneered a technique that is far more powerful than using simple affirmations. This technique is called creative visualization.

This involves visualizing the end result of your goal or desire while you are in the alpha level of mind.

Just like affirmations your visualization should be done in the “present tense”. Lets say you’re looking to own a brand new car. You want to visualize yourself in the car and feel the moment as if it is happening this instant and not at some time in the future.

In other words, feel the sense of joy in owning the car, rather than the sense of wanting or the sense of desire for the car.

To visualize effectively Jose Silva suggests creating a mental screen in front of your eyes. This should be like the screen you see in a cinema. It should be forward, in front of your eyes, and raised at an angle of around 20 degrees. The screen should be at least 6 feet in front of you. Make the screen as large as you can, almost like a movie screen in a cinema.

Close your eyes and visualize the mental screen, raised slightly 20 degrees above the horizon, and at least 6 feet in front of you.

When you perform creative visualization you will project images onto this screen.

If you are looking to improve your sports skills, visualize yourself playing the game perfectly. See yourself making perfect moves, shooting every basket, making the perfect swing. Feel the joy you feel when you play the game well.

If you are looking to shed some pounds, see yourself healthy and fit. Feel the joy of having a beautiful body. See people complimenting you.

If you’re in sales, you can see yourself making the perfect pitches. See your monthly commission statements showing ever increasing figures

Enhancing Your Creative Visualization

If you have difficulty visualizing use a technique called streaming. In streaming you mentally describe what it is that you’re seeing. Make the description as detailed as possible. For example if you’re trying to visualize yourself driving a brand new car, mentally tell yourself,

“I’m seeing the dashboard, it has beautifully carved silver dials, the leather has tiny checkered patterns on it…”

As you describe the image in detail you will find that the image also takes on more detail. This, in turn, gives you more things to mentally describe. One feeds into the other and your imagined image becomes more and more vivid.

Don’t get stuck on the term “visualization”. Different people have different dominant senses. The most common dominant sense is the sense of sight. This is why for most people the process of visualization works well. Some people, however, may have a dominant sense of touch or hearing or smell. These people may have difficulty “visualizing” but may be able to accurately imagine sounds, smells or feelings.

For these people it’s important to incorporate these senses into their “mental experience”. Someone who was born blind for example, can still engage in creative visualization, but rather then see images, they would create the mental experience by using their mental sense of smell, hearing, taste and touch.

How to Increase the Impact of Creative Visualization:

  1. Make the image as realistic as possible Incorporate movement, make the screen three-dimensional. See colors and shapes. Use the streaming technique if you have difficulty visualizing.
  2. Feel emotions associated with the image Joy, happiness, a sense of fulfillment. How would you be feeling if you had what you wanted? Imagine and explore this feeling. A thought without emotions has no energy and no force behind it. It is like running a car on empty. Feel the emotions of having what you want.
  3. Bring in your other senses Feel the wind blowing on your face; imagine the scents involved with the images. Feel texture and temperature. The more senses you involve, the more real the image is to your subconscious mind.

Here’s one example. Picture an orange. Imagine the color of it. Is it bright orange and ripe? Then picture yourself peeling the orange. Imagine the smell as you start to peel it. Feel the juice flowing over your fingers. Then squeeze the orange and feel the flesh of the fruit. Bring it to your nose and imagine the odor of an orange. Imagine tasting it and bring back a memory of how an orange tastes in your mouth. As you can see, the trick is to make the image as real as possible by using all of your senses and emotions.

Remember the more realistic the visualization process, the better and faster the results.

How You Can Practice

You can combine your affirmations with your creative visualization to create a more powerful effect. As you’re imagining your goal, simply repeat your affirmation mentally, as many times as you feel necessary.

Don’t be discouraged if you do not get immediate results. We are all at different levels of spiritual development and some of us have years of negative programming and negative belief systems to overcome. But overcome them you shall. Creative visualization can be such a powerful process when done at the Alpha level that just five minutes a day of practice can undo years of negative programming.

Furthermore, once you get your first success your belief system gets strengthened and this will allow you to manifest your next goal a little quicker. Masters who practice regularly find that they do not even have to go to a meditative level of mind and spend time repeatedly visualizing their goals. A mere conscious thought of their desire can set the gears in motion and create coincidences to direct them towards their goal.

Sources for this Lesson:

  1. Napoleon Hill, “Think and Grow Rich,” (New York: Fawcett Books, 1960), pp. 158-160.
  2. Shakti Gawain, “Creative Visualization,” (Novato CA: New World Publishing, 1978), pp. 4-5, 29-30
  3. Michael Talbot, “The Holographic Mind,” (New York: HarperPerennial, 1992), p. 88.
  4. Silva Life System
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