Monthly Archives: July 2012

Simple Stuff 5

(SIMPLE STUFF is a short bit of ideas, quotes, phrases, and ‘stuff’ to help you stay focused, stay loose, ask better questions, and laugh a bit.)

“One of the most important decisions you’ll ever make is choosing the kind of Universe you exist in: is it helpful and supportive, or hostile and unsupportive? Your answer to this question will make all the difference in terms of how you live your life and what kind of Divine assistance you attract.”

Dr. Wayne Dyer

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

-Mark Twain (1835-1910); [Samuel Clemens] humorist, essayist, novelist

“You are now at a crossroads. This is your opportunity to make the most important decision you will ever make. Forget your past. Who are you now? Who have you decided you really are now? Don’t think about who you have been. Who are you now? Who have you decided to become? Make this decision consciously. Make it carefully. Make it powerfully.”

Anthony Robbins quotes

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright

I have an existential map. It has ‘You are here’ written all over it.
Steven Wright

Why Multi-Tasking Makes You Stupid – and what to do instead!

Why Multi-Tasking Makes You Stupid – and what to do instead!

This was posted on http://7dayebook.com/multi-tasking-stupid/

and written by on 5/24/12

From Jim Edwards below

“Multi-tasking makes you stupid! Your brain can’t handle it. Here’s what to do instead… and all you need is a simple post-it note and a good strategy I share with you in the video.


Words to Live By: Responsibility

(This is one of a part of a series of WORDS TO LIVE BY. This series grew out of a workbook I first made for my young daughters and discussed at the dinner table. These Words include values, good ideas, and Words to aspire to….and learn from….enjoy!)

In my college years I thought that I was responsible….basically because I kept up a half decent GPA and didn’t get into trouble. Nothing really that great in retrospect. The first time I really knew what responsibility was started in May 1990. College was over for the summer. I decided that I needed to take a week off to ‘rest’ from my hard studies (was I serious?). So the next week I started working in my father’s sales agency for the summer. Soon after my father had his second heart attack.

Now my father later recovered and lived many more years. But he missed most of that summer. Young Jim (me) grew up fast. I’m glad it happened but it wasn’t fun at the time. I had to learn the business quickly – almost overnight. I had to learn what it meant to service clients, work with vendors, pay bills, logistics, etc. etc. My mother was out of town at the hospital with my father most of the week so I had the house to care for right away. Our well (water) went bad and I had to figure that out.

So I was responsible for the business and home. But through that process I also reflected on how ‘soft’ I was and how I was not being responsible nor was I taking any responsibility in my life. I was blaming others, blaming circumstances, angry at others, and I did not respond well to challenges. I was thinking like a victim instead of a leader or a winner. It is this latter definition of responsibility that I wish to discuss with you now.

Deepak Chopra says “responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for your situation. Having accepted this circumstance, this event, this problem, responsibility then means the ABILITY to have a creative RESPONSE to the situation as it is now.” Every crisis or problem also has an opportunity in it – this type of awareness allows you to take your situation and transform it to a better situation.

So in a moment of responsibility there is a level of Acceptance (Words To Live By: Acceptance. http://wp.me/p2mGFu-1n ). When someone or something comes into your life, confronts you, whatever – accept that the moment is as it should be. There is meaning in all events. There is opportunity and education. This all helps YOU evolve. When you blame, point the finger, or source out the responsibility, you’re ignoring the root, the problem and the opportunity and education. Without accepting responsibility we can’t move on either.

I think it is important to remember that responsibility is the “ability to respond.”

Stay in the Driver’s Seat by taking responsibility in all situations.  Many people tend to fall into a victim mindset when they are challenged in life. Acting as a victim – blaming other people or things – disable us and it’s as though we are trapped and cannot do anything to change.

Think about it…would you knowingly want to face the world with fear or in fear? Then why face it as a victim? Things ‘happen’ to a victim, and not in a good way.

When we take responsibility, we gain control and power over ourselves and the situation.

Similarly, take responsibility for your accomplishments, the good things. I know that I am someone who rarely looks back and appreciates the good things. I often focus on what I have not yet accomplished. Take a moment to see how you were able to respond to life recently, things that you’ve done or accomplished. Build some good references for the future. Don’t get hung up here because the past does not equal the future – but use the accomplishments and good stuff to gain momentum.

Responsibly yours,

http://www.onewebstrategy.com

Simple Stuff 4

(SIMPLE STUFF is a short bit of ideas, quotes, phrases, and ‘stuff’ to help you stay focused, stay loose, ask better questions, and laugh a bit.)

“I try to learn from the past, but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present. That’s where the fun is.” -Donald Trump

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
George Carlin
When you feel frustrated or upset by a person or situation, remember that you are not reacting to that person or situation, but to your feelings about the person or situation. These are Your feelings and your feelings are not someone else’s fault.
– Deepak Chopra
A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.
Albert Einstein
There’s nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you’re insightful about it.
Dennis Miller

Are you afraid of failure?

How to overcome the fear of failure and Better Mantras to use.

When I ask someone what they mean when they say they’re afraid of failure, they typically reply, “Well, Jim, I’m afraid I might fail.” And so they don’t try anything. That certainly guarantees they won’t fail, right?

Many people use fear of failure as an excuse for not taking the necessary actions to develop new skills that will move them forward. What they don’t understand is that you can’t succeed until you fail first.

Remember back when you first learned to learn sports, or ride a bike? We all fell down, we got bruised, skinned your knee. And we all then you got up, dusted ourselves off, and continued on until you fell off again.

Falling didn’t stop you from trying, right? Did you ever hear of a kid who quit trying and never learned to ride a bike? Of course not. Failure was not an option.

Whether they realize it or not, people use fear of failure as an excuse to avoid taking responsibility for their success.

There is a myth about successful people – it is that they never fail. In reality, the truth is successful people fail a lot more than unsuccessful people-but they don’t attach any meaning to it. Just like you didn’t when you fell off your bike learning to ride.

For successful people, failing doesn’t mean they are a failure. They know everyone has failures and missteps-and it’s how you handle them that matters. Let’s look at some examples, shall we?

In the early ’80s, a young singer left an abusive household in Indiana and hitchhiked to L.A., armed only with his music and an attitude. Over the next couple of years, he spent his days crashing in a rundown apartment and his nights playing with a long string of bands that never got a big break.

 But unlike the legions of would-be rockers who threw in the towel, Axl Rose never wavered from exactly what he wanted. He was on a mission. “Going into Guns N’ Roses, there wasn’t a number two [backup plan],” says the legendary front man. “At that time I was going to make it in a band, and it was all the way or bust.”

Nothing can stop a man or woman with a vision. And rockers aren’t the only ones who know this. I recently read an article on a website called Horsesmouth.com by Jim Rohrbach.

It is a great article. The author there recommends that you ‘Make persistence your mantra’

He goes onto say “While the world was using candles and whale oil for light in 1878, an inventor in Menlo Park, N.J., was determined to find a better way. Inventors had been pursuing a light bulb since early in the 19th century, but it was Thomas Edison and his team that worked persistently until they came up with a usable incandescent bulb. Painstakingly testing filaments made from an endless variety of materials from wires to animal hairs, Edison finally developed a carbonized bamboo filament that could burn some 600 hours by 1880. (And by 1882, Edison had established the Edison Electrical Light Company and was providing New York City with electricity to power his invention.)

“I have not failed,” Edison famously said of his lengthy pursuit of a practical prototype. “I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Imagine if Edison had said, “Gee, I’d like to find the right filament for the light bulb, but I’m afraid I won’t, so never mind-I don’t want to look foolish.” We’d be reviewing client statements with candles right now! Of course, Edison went on not only to invent the light bulb but to garner more than 1,000 patents for his many world­changing inventions (including-did you know?-the stock ticker).

Persistence, Edison knew well, is a powerful key to defeating the specter of failure.

(-horsesmouth.com – by Jim Rohrbach)

What is our fear?

For me, I know that, especially in the past (and even occasionally today) I am too concerned with what family, friends, peers, and teachers say about what I attempt to do.  Many people are afraid of our peers and family input.

Jim Rohrbach also pointed out in his article that “fear of failure is a self-fulfilling prophecy: when you say you can’t do something, you’re selling this idea to yourself.”

The author of Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill wrote, “Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the Seed of an equivalent or a greater Benefit.” Stick that on your refrigerator.

Solutions Based Thinking

Make a turnaround, make a miracle happen…

In this blog post: How you can change a negative situation or relationship….and how you can focus on the goal instead of the obstacle….and working with the emotional and logical parts inside You…..

I am reading the book “Switch” by Chip and Dan Heath. I recommend that you read it.

Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard

It discusses a number of great ideas related to change, changing habits, planning and how we humans approach life, and how we can make changes better – both personally and at an organizational level.

In their own words the Heath brothers summarize the book as such: “It puzzled us–why do some huge changes, like marriage, come joyously, while some trivial changes, like submitting an expense report on time, meet fierce resistance?

We found the answer in the research of some brilliant psychologists who’d discovered that people have two separate “systems” in their brains—a rational system and an emotional system. The rational system is a thoughtful, logical planner. The emotional system is, well, emotional—and impulsive and instinctual. When these two systems are in alignment, change can come quickly and easily (as when a dreamy-eyed couple gets married). When they’re not, change can be grueling (as anyone who has struggled with a diet can attest).

In those situations where change is hard, is it possible to align the two systems? Is it possible to overcome our internal “schizophrenia” about change? We believe it is.

SOLUTIONS BASED THERAPY: Therapy is often a good thing for us humans. Since you and I are human, let’s talk about that. We go in and talk, bring out our ‘issues’ and get things off our chest. Therapy helps many, many people.

The book discusses how traditional therapy is different from solutions based therapy. In traditional therapy we dig into our past, look at our childhood and dig out all the reasons why we are the way we are. The book suggests, partially in jest, that “after $50,000 and years of therapy you can now blame your mother.” This is not to say traditional therapy doesn’t work, it often does.

However, my discussion today is focused on the other type – solutions based therapy. These types of therapists don’t typically dig into your past. They don’t find out if your dad didn’t hug you enough or if you were scared of bats.

Solutions based therapy does what it says, they provide you a solution. If you’ve got a problem, let’s work on a solution, right now. OK, go do it.

Example: A married couple is angry, tense, and having issues. They aren’t getting along well. They are arguing a lot, not intimate nearly as much as they want to be, they are unhappy and there is a daily struggle. The tension and arguing are affecting the kids and both spouses are feeling it.

So a solutions based therapist doesn’t go to the wife and see if she has ‘daddy issues’ nor would the therapist do the same for the husband.

They simply go and ask one great question to each of the spouses , and I paraphrase,

“Imagine that you went to sleep tonight and there was some kind of miracle that happened while you slept. When you woke up, what’s the first small sign you’d see that would make you think, ‘Well, something must have happened – the problem is gone?’!?’

Typically then the spouse would respond by saying that they’d feel happy, at ease, and that they’d be more pleasant to the other spouse, more relaxed. The therapist also asks questions like “What would you want to see instead?” It is key to find a replacement behavior and/or habit for anything negative. It is much harder to say not to do “that” – it is easier to say to do something else instead.

Often the spouse responds by saying something like their mate would be listening after they woke up. The therapist would continue “How could you tell that your spouse was listening?” It asks them to identify the results what they want, expectations are clearer, clarity helps all parties. There is then an end result in mind.

The miracle itself is irrelevant and not discussed.

There are other examples of how similar questions were used with a ‘troubled student’ and organizations, too. This methodology could be used for someone with a drinking problem….almost any concern. “If a miracle solved your drinking problem, what would you be doing different the next morning? – What’s the first small sign that made you realize that your problem was gone?”

This is a wonderful approach not only to therapy but to our daily lives. Ask a better question, find a solution and take action. Some people think this is too simple. After the above exercise and questions are asked, the authors suggest a second pivot question: “When was the last time that you saw even a little bit of the miracle, even just for a short time?” Then you replay the scene when things were working for you. What was happening? How did you behave? Were you smiling? How did you feel?

Solutions based therapists “learn to focus their patients on the first hints of the miracle…Pretty cool, right?

What if you wrote this type of open ended question down and carried it with you each day?

What if you tried to apply it to your daily life – your relationships? Career? Health?

It gets you focusing on the ‘good stuff’ instead of what isn’t working. It gets you looking at how we can improve things, how we can solve a problem, rather than just talk about it and think about it (even more).

There are many great things in the book Switch but I think this chapter is very valuable. I may riff about other parts but this one is worth being a solo post.

www.onewebstrategy.com

View our Youtube channel HERE

Simple Stuff 3

(SIMPLE STUFF is a short bit of ideas, quotes, phrases, and ‘stuff’ to help you stay focused, stay loose, ask better questions, and laugh a bit.)

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.
Dr. Wayne Dyer

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

While a child attending kindergarten, cannot fully comprehend all the priceless reasons they are there – to socialize, make friends, grow, and prepare for ever higher realms of awareness – by that age they can, nevertheless, sense and grasp that their wise and doting parents have kept their very best interests in mind, and that is enough. Because with this awareness, they can at least stop trying to figure everything out and simply start enjoying their hand painting, alphabet lessons, and cat-naps. Knowing that even if they break a crayon or some lad pulls a chair out from under them, they’re still exactly where they should be, everything is going to turn out just grand, and everyone back home is as proud as can be. And oh my goodness, we are so proud of you.                                    Do I “over-dote”?
The Universe (Mike Dooley, http://www.tut.com)

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