Monthly Archives: June 2012

Perfect investment?

I am not an investment advisor nor am I licensed in your state, nor is this a solicitation, etc. etc. I am just sharing a good article from Carl Richards of

From Carl-

People spend a lot of time and energy trying to find the “best” stocks, mutual funds or other investments. Magazines devote covers to it, and authors write books about it. There are entire industries built around this wild goose chase.

But let’s clear this up right now: There is no such thing as the best investment.

This widespread notion that there exists somewhere an investment that outshines all others simply doesn’t make sense. No single investment is right for everyone. The best investments for you depend on personal factors—your goals, your personality, your existing holdings, your credit card balance…the list is endless.

Financial products—including things like bank accounts and insurance policies as well as investments—should be judged on how well they help you reach your goals. Since your goals are unique, what might be right for you could be a disaster for someone else.

Moreover, the specific investments you choose probably won’t determine your financial prospects. I often run into folks who spend a lot of time hunting for great investments even as they ignore more fundamental issues in their financial situation.

Someone might come in looking for the next hot stock. I ask a few questions, and find out that they have no life or disability insurance. Or a new client will come into my office looking for the highest-yielding savings account, while carrying a credit card balance at 18% interest. That’s my cue to say something like this: What are we doing scraping around for an extra half-a-percent in CD yields? How about if we use some of your savings to pay off some credit card debt—which is pretty much like earning an 18% yield?

Searching for the perfect investment can distract you from more important things. And, by the way, it doesn’t work.

Carl Richards of Behavior Gap –

Words to Live By: Forgiveness

One way or another, Forgiveness is sometimes one of the toughest things for any of us to practice. Sure, maybe we can forgive someone about most things but we all have one or two areas that really hurt us or tick us off that we hold a grudge.

Often people think forgiveness is only for that person who we forgive. In reality, forgiveness is just as much, if not more, for us, ourselves.

We’ve all been hurt in some way, right? Maybe something minor like a comment, maybe something major like infidelity or crime. We all get angry, bitter, resentful, and can feel victimized.

Here’s the important part- if you don’t practice forgiveness, you will be the one who suffers most.

An example: I had a relative that was mad at me for 20 years about something. She held this grudge and limited communications with me and others around me. She told me that she thought about it almost everyday for those 20 years.Guess what, her understanding of the situation was wrong – and – I didn’t know for 20 years. So in other words, she was angry/hurt/sad for 20 years about something that really didn’t happen and the people that she blamed, me and a few others, had no idea for 20 years. Who suffered? Who lost sleep and wellness?
I’ve done this with different situations through my life. Either I didn’t have a clear understanding of something, blamed someone in error, and/or that person had no idea or care about my thoughts and opinions. I was the one who paid.

If we don’t forgive others, we might pay the price over and over by bringing anger and bitterness into our relationships and experiences. Life could become so wrapped up in the wrong that we might ‘miss’ or not be able to enjoy the present. We could become depressed or anxious. It is possible that our lives might lack meaning or purpose. And if we’re religious or spiritual, not forgiving will be at odds with our spiritual beliefs. Not forgiving can also lead to losing valuable and enriching connectedness with others.

According to the Mayo Clinic, Forgiveness, forgiving someone will make you healthier and provide many benefits to you personally…..

  • Healthier relationships
  • Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
  • Less anxiety, stress and hostility
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Fewer symptoms of depression
  • Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse

Whether you are a Christian or not, we can learn from the Beatitudes “Blessed are the merciful,for they will be shown mercy.” The Golden Rule is similar – if we forgive others, they will forgive us. If we are capable of forgiving someone, then we are more capable of being forgiven.

How can you work to forgiveness? Again, the Mayo Clinic has good suggestions:

  • Consider the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at a given time
  • Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you’ve reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being
  • When you’re ready, actively choose to forgive the person who’s offended you
  • Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life

Dr. Wayne Dyer, author, has these things to say about Forgiveness:

“Forgiveness is the most powerful thing that you can do for your physiology and your spirituality, and it remains one of the least attractive things to us, largely because our egos rule so unequivocally.  To forgive is somehow associated with saying that it is all right, that we accept the evil deed. But this is not forgiveness.

Forgiveness means that you fill yourself with love and you radiate that love outward and refuse to hang onto the venom or hatred that was engendered by the behaviors that caused the wounds.  Forgiveness is a spiritual act of love for yourself and it sends a message to everyone, including yourself, that you are an object of love and that that is what you are going to impart.”

Wayne Dyer also said “Forgiveness is really an act of letting go, releasing the anger, the hatred, the bitterness, the thoughts of revenge that we have been carrying around. We can do this letting go without even encountering the person we want to forgive.” and “Taking all the anger and hatred that is standing in your way and replacing it with love is the most healing thing you can do. Fill your soul with love, rather than anger and so many things will change in your life. None of us needs revenge, but we all need love.” ( 8/13/10)

For me, I had to forgive people in business. When I was in my 20’s, I took over a family business. Clients and Vendors did things that I interpreted in a way (especially since I had a bigger ego then) that were offensive and I got angry and bitter. I complained, pondered on it, and I know that I pushed away opportunities, people and wellness. I wasted a lot of time long after the fact thinking about these things and it made no difference to them and only made my world worse. I remember the moment I realized that I was hurting myself I felt foolish. I looked back at all the people I complained to and felt immature. I feel like I instantly matured that day and I work hard at not blaming, holding a grudge, fuming over things. I still stray there but I can tell you that forgiving and letting go of the bad stuff really helped me in many ways.

Guess what, we must also Forgive Ourselves!

Here is a great article about Forgiveness

I’d like to leave you with a short, parting thought on Forgiveness from  author Mike Dooley and his website

“The best way to forgive is not to blame.
Lovin’ you,   The Universe ”

Eight Ways Goofing Off Can Make You More Productive

I saw this and thought it was worth sharing…

Courtesy of, by Susan Adams, Forbes Staff

Eight Ways Goofing Off Can Make You More Productive

One of my colleagues used to head to the men’s room and brush his teeth every time he felt a surge of writer’s block. He swears it did the trick. Another exits the building and walks around the block to clear his head. I like to take advantage of the mid-day yoga sessions that Forbes offers in the gym on the ninth floor. When I return to my desk, my body is relaxed, my mind is clear, and I attack my work with new energy……….

Read the article at

Something for Father’s Day- about advice

This is a post/article written by someone else but I wanted to pass it along in the spirit of Father’s Day. It is written by Matt Furey

The Best Advice a Father Can Give

By Matt Furey

It hit me like a ton of bricks.

I couldn’t believe I’d missed it before. I’d read the book many, many times – but this time was different. A secret was revealed to me – and today I’m going to give it to you.

If you are open and receptive to what you are about to read, you can expect a major breakthrough.

Here it is:
“Psychologist David Seabury says that the best piece of advice his father ever gave him was to practice positive mental imagery – immediately and ‘on cue,’ so to speak, whenever he became aware of negative feelings. Negative feelings literally defeated themselves by becoming a sort of ‘bell’ which set off a conditioned reflex to arouse positive states of mind.”

Now read that passage again. It comes from the 35-million-copy bestseller, Psycho-Cybernetics. Pay particular attention to the words “the best piece of advice his father ever gave him.” Why? Because whenever something is “the best piece of advice” someone can give you – especially your father – you know it’s got to be good.

In reading this passage, I not only see it as the best advice I can give my son – but myself, and everyone I teach at my seminars and in my coaching programs.

Many people wonder why I am always so calm, cool, and collected. Many wonder how I am able to speak before a crowd in such a nonchalant, totally relaxed way and still have everyone totally riveted.

It’s mostly because I have no thoughts of resistance when I speak. I’m not concerned about offending anyone. I’m not even trying to get people to like me. I am simply ME, take it or leave it.

Very few people are like this. They’re always trying to figure out how to get others to approve of them or like them. Not good. Because the more you NEED others to like you the less they will like you.

Same goes with money. The more you NEED it, the more it will stay away from you. Money and friends go where they are wanted – not where they are needed. There is a world of difference between want and need. One attracts. The other repels.

Want comes from a vibration of “I’m happy already and I’d like to have this, too.” Need comes from a vibration of “I’m miserable and frustrated and I need this thing to make me happy.”

Become aware of negative NEED feelings when they arise. And when they do, learn, through practice, to have those feelings immediately trigger the thought to change your vibration into a “feel good” one.

Most people have never been taught to do this by their fathers – or by anyone else. They’ve been taught to set goals, to have a burning desire, to be optimistic and have a positive attitude.

But what do you do when you look at the state of your finances and you feel bad? What do you do when the reality of your situation begins to ruin your day? What do you do when you’re feeling frustrated, fearful, and worried? You do what Dr. Seabury’s father told him to do… and what I’m telling you to do.

First, you “recognize” that you are feeling bad.

Second, you understand that this “feel bad” vibration REPELS what you say you want. Your want is not a want. It’s a need that comes with the expectation that something outside of yourself will make you happy.

Third, you recognize that this “feel bad” imagery sends a signal to the Universe that you cannot be happy “for no particular reason.” And that’s not good.

There is a balancing act between having a burning desire and having a desire that burns you.

Having a burning desire creates the necessary mindset that will attract the thing you want. On the other hand, if the desire is connected to “I’m miserable unless I have this thing” – then you are chasing success and that success will always run faster than you do.

Your objective is to attract success, not chase it. Chasing success is repelling success. You never get what you are chasing.

Several years ago, a man sent me an e-mail in which he accused me of “chasing the almighty dollar.” He was wrong. At that point in my life, I couldn’t even form a mental image of myself doing what he said I was doing.

When I did chase the almighty dollar – and I did it for years – I had no money. When I stopped chasing and learned to attract it, it flowed into my life so fast I was nearly knocked over.

The forces of attraction and repulsion are always at play. Whether you attract more than you repel or repel more than you attract is simply a matter of how strong those forces are. If your repelling energy is stronger, you go deeper into debt. If your attraction energy is stronger, you get wealthier. If both are equally strong, you feel “stuck.”

Now the question is… what do you do if you are repelling more than you’re attracting?

The answer:

1. You change the way you feel by changing the mental picture you have of your situation.

Every time you feel a negative emotion, you sound the alarm in your head. “Uh, oh. Not good. Change the mental picture to a positive one.” You do this over and over, and before long the feel-bad vibe lasts less than a second and you’re back to feeling good.

2. You begin each day with exercises that help you go through the whole day without resistance.

You don’t just read inspirational messages and books. You stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself what you want. You picture what you want when you speak. You recall previous successes and link them to your future.

3. You have a burning desire in mind, a goal.

You don’t expect the goal to give you happiness. You don’t let the desire for it burn you by feeling bad that you don’t yet have it. In fact, even though you WANT the goal, you are able to “walk away” from it emotionally. If, for example, you want more money – you don’t expect more money to give you happiness. You simply want more money – and you put yourself into happiness mode NOW.

If you’re happy even though you don’t yet have in your possession the thing you want – then you are attracting it to you.

If you’re unhappy because you don’t yet have in your possession the thing you NEED – then you are repelling it.

So get happy NOW.

Recognize that fear, frustration, and angst are only there to help you change course. They’re there to help you see that your mental picture is off-target. Put the right mental image back onto the screen of your mind and watch how the Universe lines things up in your favor.

[Ed. Note: Matt Furey, an internationally recognized expert in self-development, fitness, and martial arts, is president of the Psycho-Cybernetics Foundation, Inc. With Matt’s 101 Ways to Magnetize Money, you can learn the REAL SECRETS of financial success known only to the most prosperous men and women who have ever lived

One ‘bad’ day, good thoughts – from a gun!

(In memory of my father and in honor of Father’s Day and all the good guys out there)

I was talking with a friend who was going through some tough financial times and he knew about those times I went through tough times too.

He once asked me what one of the toughest days was for me.

He had just had to sell off some personal possessions like his CD collection and other such items.

It made me think of a specific day – my wife and I were really starting to make head-way on our bills and income was getting a little better, things were looking up. Then we got hit with a big car repair, another bill came in, and suddenly within 2-3 weeks, we were underwater.

I had one bill that was already late and now I knew it would go to collections. I am not a deadbeat and I never wanted to be in that position. So I sold off some tools and things I never used. It made sense, I didn’t need them, no emotional ties or sentimentality with them, sell them, clean house, get money, life is simpler!

I still needed some money, so I took an old rifle to a gun shop. It was my dad’s secondary gun and I used it when I was young but I didn’t think about it. I was caught up in getting cash to pay the bill.

I went into the gun shop, negotiated and sold it.

Let me tell you, when I got in my car to leave, I was hit with such regret, sadness, and remorse I had to pull over. I was physically sick. My parents had passed a few years before and I suddenly realized that this was one of the last physical things I had. It wasn’t the last one, nor was it really that sentimental. But I knew then that I did not want to ever be in this spot again.

I still had the serial number and info on that gun in my pocket and I put it somewhere safe. Someday I may track it down and try to buy it back.

In the meantime, I know my dad really wouldn’t mind, he was wonderfully understanding. I tried to think if my kids did something like that, I wouldn’t mind, I would just want them to be happy.

It was a low point. But through that transaction I felt the love my dad always showed me. He gave, understood, forgave, and let me make my own choices. Dad saved me again and it was time that I did not need to be ever saved by someone else again.

I also reflected on the gratitude I have for my parents. They started from nothing, built up a nice family and were loving, generous, fun people.

Another thought that came to mind – it wasn’t really that bad to let go of a material item. Sure it was sentimental to some degree but now that its gone, my life isn’t any less valuable, meaningful, etc. It was just a possession.

Too many times we desire a possession and think it will make our lives better. We get it and want something else. Sometimes we hold onto things. It really isn’t the ‘thing’ but the meaning we give to it. Sometimes we even hold onto feelings, situations, memories – right?

Sometimes we have an issue, we have baggage, but even though we say we don’t want it, or we know it isn’t good to hang on, like some old gun, we hang onto that memory/situation/feeling. It becomes “our thing”. We all know that guy who can’t seem to move on in life because he has that issue – if he only realized it had nothing to do with moving ahead. (of course no of us ever do that, right?)

Funny how all those thoughts can come from a bad day selling a gun….

Do you practice the habit of proactive gratitude?

Do you practice Proactive Gratitude?
What is that?

Here is a video blog by Dan Sullivan that I think you will like.

(it is only about 3 minutes)

Click here to watch


Ways to Create Content that Sells

— a quick break in the other types/styles of blog posts for some marketing ideas, I love marketing stuff…..

Are you blogging?

Are you thinking of starting a blog?
Do you want to monetize it?

What kind of content? Other questions?

I sometimes read Social Media Examiner – here is a great article they wrote about blogging –

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