Design the Perfect Day

I know that I need to work on this one-and I’ve done it before and it really helped, and I enjoyed it…..

http://brendonburchard.tumblr.com/post/96277486198/how-to-design-the-perfect-day

SUMMARY

To design your ideal day, consider these questions:

What would you want to CREATE?

Who would you want to CONNECT with and spend time with?

What would you like to CONTRIBUTE?

Who would you like to be – what CHARACTER would you show to the world?

Full Transcript:

What would be your perfect day, your ideal day, a day that you went to bed that night and you thought that was the most incredible day? That’s how I want most of the days of my life to be, just like that.

What would that perfect day be like for you?

I’ve asked this to tens of thousands of people around the globe as I travel and do my speeches. I get invited to speak at all these conferences and most people don’t know and that’s amazing. I ask the audience this: how many of you have had a perfect day, one that was so amazing you’re like I was so happy and fulfilled and grateful for that day? How many of you have had one of those perfect days this week?

Usually out of an audience about half the room will raise their hands, so 50% had a perfect day that week. [Keep in mind these are audiences in the personal growth industry. Still, you would be surprised that most people are generally happy and having good weeks. While many people think that most people are miserable, they are incorrect].

Then I say how many of you have had at least two of those this month? People really have to think about it. They don’t know if they’ve had that many good days. They think about it and they’re like no, and it goes down to 30%.

What I end up finding is that most people feel like they had 10, 15 or 20 perfect days in the course of a year. Think about that. There are 365 days in a year and they say they have maybe 10, 15 or 20 perfect days a year.

Of course we have to talk and qualify about this idea of a “perfect” day because maybe people just set too high of expectations for themselves.

Then I ask, “Do you think you have too high of an expectation for that perfect day? For that perfect day that you had… is that something you can’t have ever again?” They’re like no, of course not. Then I say, “So the day is achievable?” And they say yes. Then I ask, “Why don’t you have more of them?” Two reasons it turns out.

It seems that some people just have never clarified what an ideal day would be for themselves.

What would it really be like?

Most importantly, what would it feel like?

What would an ideal day feel like for you?

Have you ever journaled about that?

Is there a vision board somewhere that would describe what that day would be like for you?

Do you have it written down in a journal or a dream sheet that says this would be the ideal day for me; knowing, that maybe that day is so amazing and perfect?

Some people would say, “It would be my wedding day” … They said a singular day.

But I’m talking about more of a lifestyle, not just a day but a life. What would it be like?

What would it feel like for you?

I think there are some common things you can start to think about in designing your [ideal days]. Again, most of the problem is that people don’t have vision for it. It’s Biblical: where there is no vision people perish.

The number one rule I have is to have vision for your life. Know where it is you’re going and what you want to feel, sense, experience, give and contribute or be about.

Let’s talk about some of these things so you can start crafting your ideal day.

The first thing you might want to take into consideration is something I spoke about earlier which is, how does it feel? What does that [ideal] day feel like?

I want you think not about it in terms of what you’re doing, because a lot of people start with the do. Here are the things I have to be doing. I want you to think about what it would feel like for you if you ended that day, laid your bed on the pillow, how would you describe how you felt that day? If you’re clear about the feeling than maybe we can start matching some activities that would generate or help us feel those particular feelings or experience those types of emotions.

What did it feel like? Let’s start moving into a little framework to help you think through this. Usually when you talk about someone’s ideal day there are several things they want to experience in there.

First, they want to create something.

They want to feel like they’ve created or contributed to something. They’ve created an experience with some friends or family. They’ve contributed something specifically to folks that are trying to help out or lead or serve in some way.

What would you like to create or contribute on your ideal day? What would it be? What would that ideal day be about?

Others also say they want to connect.

Their ideal day would let them be with their wife the whole day. Or, they say they want to be with the kids out on the lake fishing or something. So they might have this idea in their mind about that feeling and connection through a relationship with someone that makes them feel alive and fulfilled for that day.

What types of things would you like to create, contribute, but also who would you like to connect with?

Let me pause here and say this… could you create that day? Is this a day you could actually have more than one of a year, two of a year or five of a year?

Most people who have an ideal day, but I think they’re off track in life sometimes because they have a definition of an ideal day in their life and yet they don’t seek to actualize that day. They don’t seem to design their days around that.

Some people say that’s not realistic: People can’t have these ideal lives. You know who says that? Bitter people. Those who have given up on the path of their dreams. People who are so frustrated, jaded and so torn from their belief or from themselves or their dreams that they don’t believe it anymore.

However, I can tell you now having accomplished my dreams it’s possible. I wanted to be a writer and a trainer and get to do this with you full time and now I do that. It’s what I get to do and it’s a fulfillment of my dreams. I can tell you, I’ve met more and more people who are living lives that they’re satisfied with, so engaged and connected with. They wake up with a high degree of enthusiasm for their day and can’t wait to experience that day. At night they’re so grateful for it that they journal about all of their gratitude.

It’s not to be Pollyannaish and say you won’t have some bad days come up, but it’s saying that you can design your days. You can make your life about what you want it to be about.

What do you want [your life] to be about?

What should the majority of your days be about for you, in terms of creating, contributing and connecting?

What should they also be about for you, your character?

Who’s going to show up on your ideal day?

What would you be like on your ideal day?

Would you be weak and fearful or courageous and strong?

Would you be judgmental, mean and upset, full of hatred, jealousy, anger and regret about life and other people?

Or would you be somebody who’s open, excited for others and connecting with other people, positive and enthusiastic?

What would you be like on your ideal day?

Have you ever written that down… Here’s who I would be on my ideal day. Here’s how I’d treat my wife, my partner or my spouse, my lover or the kids. Here’s how I’d treat strangers. Here’s how I’d treat other people.

The idea is, don’t wait until the end of your life to have that ideal day. Don’t wait until next year or next week to have that type of day.

We can choose to wake up every single day and live that day in an idealistic way for ourselves, in a way in which we show up as who we want to be, in a way in which we are doing things that enliven us and engage us and get us excited, in a way that we’re doing things and being with people, creating experiences that feel alive and fulfilling.

We can have that type of life. I call it The Charged Life. Everybody can have it: it’s a matter of discipline in getting it.

Here’s a simple trick and tool to make sure you get more of those ideal days: When you start your day you must own your morning.

If you thought about your ideal day I bet you didn’t say, “Well, I roll out of bed, grab my iPhone and check my email.” That’s not an ideal day.

You have to own that morning to make sure that you’re proactive with that day, to say:

“What is it that I want to be about this day? What are the things I want to achieve create and experience this day? What kind of character do I want to cultivate? What do I want to learn today, give today, and grow today?”

You have to have aim and intention to have a phenomenal day.

It’s not that you can’t go with the flow, the bumps and the bruises and the struggles and hardships of life, but when you’re experiencing those you can still experience them from a place of presence, peace and enthusiasm.

Even the ultimate challenges in my life: having lost friends, lost my father to leukemia,  my own multiple brain injuries, car accidents, ATV accidents, broken enough bones in my body. And it’s a sad story really, but every hardship I’ve ever faced, including leaving [a job] and starting my own business and moving to new cities… Every major obstacle or challenge in my life I always chose to meet that as my ideal self.

I’d always say, “How would my highest self interact with this situation?”

Maybe that sounds Pollyannaish to some people and I know on YouTube I’ll get plenty of hate for it, but a lot of people need to get more intentional about their day, to create the ideal lives, not to have an ideal day once a millennium but to have a string of ideal days.

Even if you’re dealing with struggle and hardship in the world’s curveballs, you’re showing up in a way that when you go to bed at night you’re proud of the way you interacted with the struggle, challenge or demand on you. You’re proud of who you demonstrated yourself to be to the world, that you’re living the ideal character and person you believe yourself to be on a continual basis. And then life starts to feel ideal again.

Give yourself that gift. Do this journey. Take this time today. Sit down, pause the video or watch it again if you have to.

What is the ideal day like for you?

What would that dream day be like for you?

Who’s there?

What are you doing?

What are you contributing?

What might you be learning, giving or being part of?

Think about that. Who are you specifically during that day?

With that intention and aim you start to experience more and more of those days and as more and more of those days start to gather for us the more your character develops force and momentum. The world sees what you’re about and draws more opportunities to you to serve it up to that type of person who wants those types of things. And suddenly you wake up one day, you look around and you have this sense of aliveness and joy in the day. Then, when you look back at the week you’re like, “That was an amazing week, an amazing month, an amazing year, an amazing decade… that was an amazing life and you deserve that.

That is The Charged Life. http://brendonburchard.tumblr.com/post/96277486198/how-to-design-the-perfect-day 

Daily Rituals

27 – October – 2014

“The road to personal freedom and the escape from the status quo begins with waking up to each and every decision you make in your life.” – Jason Leister

The Best Daily Routine

By Craig Ballantyne

Watching Denzel Washington in his latest movie, The Equalizer, was like watching myself on screen. His character, Robert McCall, rises early, is never late, drinks a lot of tea, makes protein-packed blender drinks, and even arranges his cutlery at a right angle when eating.

I’ll admit it. I have a few quirks in my daily routine. I start my day wearing the same old sweatshirt, drinking a peppermint tea, listening to classical music, and neatly arranging my books, pens, and notes at right angles on the corners of my desk. This ritual must be followed before I can settle in to write these ETR essays. It signals my brain that it is time to start my 3-hour workday. Yes, just 3-hours. I’ll explain why in a moment…

Don’t miss these tools keeping you…

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Read more below
today’s essay.

But first, let’s talk more about the power of rituals. John Carlton, an ETR contributor who makes claim to being “the most ripped-off copywriter on the Web”, once told me that he walks around his desk before sitting down to write, just as my dog spins in a circle before laying down to rest. Carlton’s ritual relays to his brain that it’s time to switch into work mode.

Having rituals that signal the start and end of your workday are ideas worth borrowing. Developing a routine will allow you to get an incredible amount of creative work done in a short amount of time.

In one of my favorite books, Daily Rituals, author Mason Currey chronicles the productivity routines of the greatest thinkers, authors, painters, playwrights, and composers of the past 300 years.

Almost every author writes every day without fail, even holidays.

“I write when the spirit moves me, and the spirit moves me every day,” said William Faulkner, American writer and Nobel Prize laureate from Oxford, Mississippi.

For most of us, the early morning hours are magical. This is when we have the strength to overcome temptation, and when there will be fewer distractions in our days.

Psychologist B.F. Skinner wrote every morning for 90 minutes immediately after breakfast but before seeing patients. He plotted his writing output on a chart for decades, always pushing to do more in his magic time.

It is not just authors of the pre-Internet era that started their days with disciplined routines and near obsessive behavior to aid productivity. Contemporary writers such as Nicholson Baker and Haruki Murakami are up early, sticking to what seems to be a bland routine, but getting so much accomplished as a result.

“I like the feeling of getting up really early (4:30am),” Baker says, “The mind is newly cleansed but it’s also befuddled and you’re still just plain sleepy. I found that I wrote differently then.”

Murakami, a former jazz club owner who once smoked 60 cigarettes per day in his early writing career, moved to the countryside with his wife, took up healthy habits, runs every day instead of smoking, and focuses his relationship building on that with his readers. Said Murakami in an interview with The Paris Review, “”I keep to this routine every day without variation. The repetition itself becomes the important thing; it’s a form of mesmerism. I mesmerize myself to reach a deeper state of mind.”

Having a morning ritual supports what I call, “Magic Time”. This is the time of day when you are three to five times more productive than you would be at any other hour. For me, it is first thing in the morning.

But I also accept the fact that genuine night owls exist, and I agree with author Anne Beatty who said, “”I really believe in day people and night people. My favorite hours are from 12am to 3am for writing.”

She is not alone in history. Great authors and artists that worked through their evenings and even until the sun came up include Samuel Beckett, Pablo Picasso, Marcel Proust, and Franz Kafka.

However, true night owls are few and far between, and many can be rehabilitated to see the virtue of working early in the morning.

Neil Strauss, a former NY Times rock music critic and multiple NY Times best selling author, began his career sticking to a late night schedule while composing his books and reviews on bands like Motley Crue. Strauss assumed that he could not be like Ben Franklin, early to rise and write. But after committing to an experimental schedule that saw him writing early in the morning, Strauss was surprised to find he was as productive as ever, if not more so.

There are difficulties with relying on a nighttime habit of creativity. First of all, there are too many temptations. Your willpower has been drawn down from the chaos of the day. I urge you to give a morning routine a test. I’m willing to bet that like Strauss, you will be pleasantly surprised with your success.

Baker recommends slight changes to your routine to keep your day novel and to spark creativity.

I’ve taken Baker’s advice and made some small changes to the routine I shared with you in the past. I still wake up early, at 4am, and go immediately to work on my number one writing project (after petting the dog to ease his anxiety). After an hour, there is a quick standing break where I get more water and write my daily Thank You note to a team member, business partner, or reader, and then it’s back to writing for another hour.

My early morning routine finishes with fifteen minutes of writing in my Big Idea journal (James Altucher explains the Big Idea exercise here) and I review my daily documents (tips gathered from mentors over the years).

At this point I could stop working for the day and grow old comfortably with the wealth that these three hours have built. I could take the rest of the day off and live a life of leisure. This structure has given me incredible freedom. But I don’t stop.

Similar to American author, Toni Morrison, I hold the morning’s first light as a special, almost religious experience. But unlike Toni, who uses sunrise as her ritual signal to start work, I prefer to meditate as the sun rises. Then, rain, shine, sleet or snow, I head outside with the dog for a 20-minute walk around before the neighbors are up.

After the dog walk, my exercise, and breakfast, I start my second short shift of writing, working on easier to create projects, like new workouts and articles for my fitness business, Turbulence Training. Many authors throughout the course of history, from Charles Darwin to Stephen King, did the hardest writing first thing in the morning, and then moved to easier work, such as answering letters or dealing with their publishers in the afternoon. My workday concludes with a light lunch after which I might check my work email or do phone interviews.

Doggy duty (and doody) calls again at 4pm. We retrace the morning route, but this time we share the sidewalk with schoolchildren and their parents. When we return, ol’ Bally the Dog eats his dinner in the garage while I read the local paper, and then we head inside to get cleaned up. A few nights per week I’ll head out to meet friends while on other nights I’ll enjoy a home-cooked meal and sit by the fireplace reading (currently Taleb’s Antifragile).

Great results come from an effective routine, no matter if you are on Team 4:30am with Baker and Ballantyne or Team Late Night with Beatty, Beckett, Picasso, Proust, and Kafka.

Either way, you must be structured, for that is the best daily routine.

And if you are, you will be free.

“We’re far more likely to accomplish what we schedule,” writes Tony Schwartz, co-author of The Power of Full Engagement, “Rituals are behaviors that become automatic so that we no longer have to think about doing them. Doing the most important thing first in the morning is one of mine.”

And mine.

I encourage you to add more structure to your day. Randomness works poorly. The world’s greatest authors, thinkers, composers, and painters have recognized this for centuries.

“Discipline and freedom are not mutually exclusive but mutually dependent because otherwise, you’d sink into chaos,” said Paulo Coelho, author of The Alchemist, “Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose – and commit myself to – what is best for me.”

Know what is right for you. Identify your magic time. Ruthlessly protect it. Set up the routines that bring forth your best.

B.F. Skinner followed his morning magic time routine seven days a week, holidays included, for decades, all the way up until only a few days before his death, at the age of 86, in 1990. His work lives on.

Will the time you spend, the work you do, the legacy you build, the family values you nurture, live on?

Take 30 minutes this weekend and analyze your day. Plot a routine. Spend a day on this scheme. Be productive and leave your enduring legacy.

Rate today’s article

[Ed Note: Craig Ballantyne is the editor of Early to Rise (Join him on Facebook here) and the author of Financial Independence Monthly, a complete blueprint to helping you take control of your financial future with research of proven methods in your career, in your business and in your personal life. He has created a unique system to show gratitude and appreciation to stay on track for these goals each and every day. Click here to follow the exact 5-minute system you can use to improve your life.]

HEALTHY
When to Drink Coffee (if you’re an introvert)

If you’re headed into some important meeting, you might down a cup or two of coffee without thinking much of it, hoping the caffeine will provide your brain with an extra boost. But in his new book on personality science, psychologist Brian Little suggests that for introverts, this strategy may backfire.

Here’s what Little writes in Me, Myself, and Us: The Science of Personality and the Art of Well-Being, which was just released last week:

After ingesting about two cups of coffee, extraverts carry out tasks more efficiently, whereas introverts perform less well. This deficit is magnified if the task they are engaging in is quantitative and if it is done under time pressure. For an introvert, an innocent couple cups of coffee before a meeting may prove challenging, particularly if the purpose of the meeting is a rapid-fire discussion of budget projections, data analysis, or similar quantitative concerns. In the same meeting, an extraverted colleague is likely to benefit from a caffeine kick.

Click here to read why.
WEALTHY
How You Must Think

By Kevin Harrington, from ABC’s Shark Tank

When I found out over the last five years that television viewing levels was dropping by 20-plus percent, but the advertising rates were staying the same, this was a major problem in my infomercial business.

What’s happening? People are going online, to their iPads, and mobile phones. Groupon does 72 percent of its sales on mobile. QVC does 30 percent of its sales on mobile. As an infomercial marketer, you can say, “Wow, I’m screwed. TV is terrible, I’m outta business.” Or you can get creative. Here’s what I did. I partnered with Sprint to launch the first mobile shopping channel, called Star Shop. It’s a celebrity-based mobile app that you will download, and it’ll be the first live shopping channel on a mobile phone.

Always try to figure out how to gain the edge on the competition. I’m the only one launching a mobile shopping channel right now. This is how entrepreneurs need to think. If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten. You must be thinking ahead of the game, and that’s what I do as an entrepreneur.

Listen to more tips from Kevin Harrington here
WISE
The Truth About Happiness

In September 1942, Viktor Frankl, a prominent Jewish psychiatrist and neurologist in Vienna, was arrested and transported to a Nazi concentration camp with his wife and parents. Three years later, when his camp was liberated, most of his family, including his pregnant wife, had perished — but he, prisoner number 119104, had lived. In his bestselling 1946 book, which he wrote in nine days about his experiences in the camps, Frankl concluded that the difference between those who had lived and those who had died came down to one thing:

Find out what it is here.

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Self Awareness

Here’s a great video and transcript from Brendon Burchard

Summary:

We lose self-awareness when we are:

1. Directionless. How can we feel and sense life if we don’t have the intention to do so? Bring more conscious choice into your days and you will feel enlivened.

2. Detached. If we detach from all negative feeling, we also risk losing connection with positive feeling. You have to feel your experiences and moments again. It’s time to connect to the reality and sensations of life once more.

3. Disassociated. It’s easy to go through life and look at our bad behavior and say, “Well, that just wasn’t the real me.” But that was you. Your actions are who you are just as much as your values and hopes and dreams. And it’s time to own it, to stop trying to disassociate parts of who you are. To feel aware, we must own our entirety, the good and bad, and we must strive to live into our ideal selves.

4. Distracted. Distraction is the ultimate thief of life, of light, of human awareness. We must do all we can do to minimize the inconsequential in our lives. If we are constantly scatter brained then we can never sense or immerse in the magic of each moment. Distraction kills presence, joy, and gratitude. Let us make presence, real focus and the immersion in the moment our aim.

Full Transcript:

It’s so incredible to see in the popular culture, people talking about mindfulness and about self awareness and being present again, because those things are so vital to our ability to feel engaged, happy, joyful and fulfilled in life.

But, a lot of people are struggling with those things. About feeling that sense of self awareness in their life, that real connection, that real presence, that vitality in the Now, that experience of the moment.

Let’s talk about that, because so many people really do feel detached from that. They kind of feel numb as they go throughout the day, or so frustrated or stressed that they aren’t feeling that bliss or connection of vitality that could be experienced every single moment. So why?

I call it the death of self-awareness or the Four Horseman of Self-Awareness. If these things are at play in your life then it’s a lot harder to experience the day as magically as it can be experienced. It’s hard to feel that sense of the charged life.

So let’s talk about this. The first horseman of the four horseman of self awareness is…

1. Lack of Direction

People are somehow directionless. During the day they’re going through the motions.

They’re showing up unconsciously to the world in a reactive state, all day long without any of that proactive more conscious or intentional idealization of what they want, who they are, what they want to achieve, feel or sense that day.

It’s like you could walk across the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco and be like, “I’m at the Golden Gate Bridge; let’s walk across it.” Or you could say,“This is going to be amazing, I can’t wait to see the things and have a real sense of aliveness, vitality, enthusiasm about the experience, to really sense it and feel it.”

I know you’ve been to landmarks, or you’ve been in relationships that happen where something was amazing.

Maybe you had a wedding and you can remember every single momentbecause you looked forward to it and you said, “I’m really going to experience these times.”

Maybe you had the birth of a child or you dropped a child off at school and everything played in slow motion. Because you made the moment meaningful you were mindful to it. You were attentive to your senses. You were attentive to what was happening around you. You were attentive to details and moments and just the experience.

It’s bringing attentiveness to the moment that is mindfulness. It’s being alert and aware to what’s happening around you and engaged with it, allowing it, accepting it, feeling it, and sensing it in a way that life starts to pick up its sense of aliveness. It’s what makes life so magical and meaningful for people when you can get to that state, but you have to have the direction in mind. You have to say, “Okay, this day I’m going to experience this day. I’ve been ho-humming through the days, been going unconsciously through them. Today I’m going to experience the things. I’m going to experience and sense and feel and understand what’s happening around me. I’m really going to connect with the Now.”

You have to give yourself that gift. It’s a direction in your mind that says hey,experience this world. It’s getting in it, sensing it and feeling it.

2. Detachment

This is the second horseman. It’s detachment from any feeling, emotion or even sometimes expectation to the day. It’s not feeling anything or allowing yourself to feel things even when they’re good.

A lot of people have done so much work in their life to blot out negative emotion, that they aren’t letting in positive emotion.

Or so many people feel like they’ve been failing so much in their lives they don’t have a connection things when they do succeed, so they aren’t integratingsuccess. They might have a good series of things happen to them but they don’tfeel them. They don’t allow themselves to take that success in, that win in, really internalize it and say, “Wow, I did that!” and sense that moment of satisfaction or pride to doing something amazing. They never allow themselves any of the positive emotions of life and they don’t allow those positive emotions to stick or settle in.

That’s why, one of the first things a psychologist will do in working with a new patient is making sure at the end of the day they start journaling positive things that happen throughout their day.

It’s scientifically proven that you can essentially start a gratitude journal and lift up your level of happiness in life. Why? Because now you’re paying attention to the things that bring you positive emotion and happiness in life. You’re recording them, writing them down, physicalizing that memory and feeling and sensing it, and allowing it to come in. Try that.

If you feel like you’ve been detached from emotion in life it’s time to allow that back in, to allow yourself to feel passionate and excited about things again. To allow yourself to get dorked out about a new learning opportunity and new things you’re going to see, to allow yourself to say, “I did that, good for me,” and have a sense of pride about some things. You deserve that – you did some good things.

It’s also allowing yourself not to be detached from negative things. So many people are scared to experience a negative thing that it’s like they never develop any strength or capability of dealing with those things.

Do you know anybody who can’t handle conflict they’re always running from conflict? It’s because they’ve always detached from that emotion. Ooh, I’m scared.

Part of the way we’ve become mature enlightened adults is we start to face the things we are fearful of or we are scared of and we allow ourselves to feel it and sense it. It’s okay to feel the fear.

It’s okay to feel uncomfortable about something. It’s okay to feel vulnerable. It’s okay to feel what other people might call negative or scary or uncertain emotions. The more comfort you start to have with uncomfortable emotions, the more comfort you have with uncomfortable situations, the more you start developing a consciousness about how to deal with them. The only way you’re going to develop comfort with them is to allow yourself to accept that and to acknowledge, “This is the feeling I’m having about this. Why am I feeling this way? Is this how I want to feel? Will this add or contribute here? Is there anything I can do to shift or generate a new emotion that would be more positive or healthy for me?”

That’s consciousness, but you can’t do that if you’re detached from every emotion, every opportunity and every experience that comes into your life. You have to feel again.

The third horseman that steals away our own sense of self awareness is so simple and obvious.

3. Disassociation

It is disassociating ourselves and identities with situations. Not just detaching from things, but going through experiences of our lives and saying, “That’s not me.” Showing up every single day and doing something going, “Well, the realme wouldn’t do that. That’s not the real me. The real me is more passionate than that.”

Or maybe you go out with your friends and you go home at night and you’re like, “The real me is more fun you didn’t give me a chance, we needed another date before you’d realize how much fun I am.”

There’s this disassociation that you’ve gone through experiences and saying that’s not you, but it is you. The good news and bad news is that what you’ve been showing up as in this last week, this last month or last year that’s you, even if you disassociate from it and say, “That’s not me.”

That’s what a lot of people try to do they say, “Brendon, that’s not the real me.”No, that’s the real you. That’s what has been showing up and that’s the real result, real effect, real behavior that was you, so stop trying to disassociate from it.

Part of awareness is accepting who we truly are, not just in our mind but in our behaviors in the world. To accept and say “Gosh, that was me. I did do that. I am responsible for myself. I am responsible for my actions, emotion, attitudes, how I treat other people and I need to evaluate that and ask…Is that the person I want to be? Am I happy with that? Am I proud of that? Is there something I could shift in my character or my behavior or beliefs that would make me a better person?”

If we always disassociate and say, that’s not the real me that’s okay, you don’t understand. The real me is like this.

If you haven’t been showing the world the real you than you have not been practicing self awareness or demonstrating consciousness, you’ve been demonstrating the opposite, dissociation. So it’s time to reconnect, take ownership and responsibility for the person you’ve become, even if some of that is negative for you. Say oh gosh okay, I have to change this.

I remember in my own life I would find myself as I hurried sometimes that I would be rude to people. I would say, “I’m not a rude person, but wait, if I’m being rude to people than I am a rude person.” I had to take that to heart and say, “Brendon, that’s not the real you but it is because that’s who you’re showing up as, so I need to shift my behavior in the way I experienced those moments of hurry and how I treat people in those moments of hurry to become the person I know I could be versus the person I was being.”

I know you follow that and it’s so important. I hope you’ll find some inspiration there to really take a look at your life and ask, “Who’s been showing up and are you happy with that person?” If not, then show up in a new way, change, find something within that enlivens you and puts you in a more positive attitude and character that you can be proud of.

4. Distraction

This is the final horseman. Distraction steals people’s awareness. We know from the art and science of studying flow or that neural connection in which we can see that people are freely engaged in whatever activity they’re doing. We know for sure that the more distractions that come in the less engaged they are. And the challenge is we’re all distracted in a million ways right now, and with all this distraction we’re experiencing we aren’t having the opportunity to have any full awareness to a moment because our phone is texting us or our cells going on here or our computer is over there or the kids need this or that.

We’re lacking the ability to bring our full essence and energy into the moments that are meaningful in our lives, and to create meaningful moments in our lives by bringing our full essence and energy into those minutes and moments of our lives.

So you have to say, “Okay, can I minimize distraction?”

The biggest art of developing more awareness in our life is knowing how to deal with distractions, and having a focal point of what we desire, what we intend to feel, give, contribute or create and be focused on that and be aware to it, feel and experience and be part of that and not allow 50 things.

There’s a reason when you go into an artist’s studio that it’s the artist sitting there alone by themselves painting or by themselves working. There’s a reason there are these moments in our lives when we need to create something significant that we need to get away. That’s because we need to apply our full awareness to it.

Look at your life and ask, on a scale of 1-10, how distracted am I? Ten being so distracted nothing is felt, experienced, moved or progressed in life and one being hey, you’re good, you’re totally focused. So 10 is a problem whereas one is not. If you’re at a 5-6-7-8-9 or 10 in distraction trust me, you aren’t going to experience the magic, the joy that is a sense of presence. You aren’t getting that experience of consciousness, of vitality and real engagement with life, because you’re being pulled in too many directions and at some point our energy, the more it’s dissipated by all these distractions the less we feel in life.

The good news about all these things is every one I’ve just mentioned are under your command. These are things you can control.

You can get more direction in your life just by choosing to have it.

You can choose not to be detached to the experiences, but rather engaged with them.

To not be disassociated as a person but rather choose the person who’s experiencing and creating those things.

You can minimize distractions in your life.

When you do that an entire new level of life opens up to you. It feels incredibly engaged. You’re so enthusiastic to experience it every single day and that’s what we call The Charged Life.

8 Things Happy People Do Every Morning

8 Things Happy People Do Every Morning

A great article-consider it tomorrow!

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-15673/8-things-happy-people-do-every-morning.html

Little habits mean a lot…

As I may have mentioned, several years ago I had a challenging year, and I felt that it set me back in many ways.

I lost both parents within 5 weeks of each other, I was temporarily unemployed, and I had losses with my investment property.

I was grieving, sad, depressed, I felt like I wasn’t living up to being a man, a father, etc.

My self talk and thoughts were probably the biggest problem. I worried a lot, thought negative thoughts, went over bad things in the past, focused on what wasn’t working.

Looking back now, trying to learn from the experience, the things that helped me the most were these items:
1. having a vision of how I wanted things to be – and thinking/talking about that vision as if it was already done, already here.

2. asking great, positive questions – like “Why am I so happy?” instead of “Why do I feel so down?”

3. Focusing on what is working, what I have that is good, instead of what doesn’t work, what isn’t good.

I adopted little habits that I tried to do each day -

  1. I would write down my vision and when I could, handwrite it/copy it again.
  2. I would write down my powerful questions on index cards and read them, even copy them whenever I could. I would pick one each day to really focus on.
  3. I started using passwords that were meaningful and helpful to changing my thinking. So instead of some random password like shoe$1lace I might choose whydoIwin6 or whatisgr8, Iamgr8ful and so on. Think about how many times you put in different passwords each day. We type them over and over. What if these were little empowering questions, messages or reminders? wouldn’t that help a little?

Have a good week!

Visualize-090604

Frey Freyday – Bold

 (Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

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Be bold, be bold, and everywhere be bold.-Herbert Spencer

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No discovery was ever made without a bold guess-Sir Isaac Newton

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Be bold, be brave enough to be your true self.-Queen Latifah

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Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.-Helen Keller

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Freedom lies in being bold.-Robert Frost

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We are all ordinary. We are all boring. We are all spectacular. We are all shy. We are all bold. We are all heroes. We are all helpless. It just depends on the day.-Brad Meltzer

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Often, in the real world, it’s not the smart that get ahead but the bold.-Robert Kiyosaki

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Leadership comes in small acts as well as bold strokes.-Carly Fiorina

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Laugh at yourself, but don’t ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don’t leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory.-Alan Alda

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Do not love leisure. Waste not a minute. Be bold. Realize the Truth, here and now!-Swami Sivananda

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Business is about people. It’s about passion. It’s about bold ideas, bold small ideas or bold large ideas.-Tom Peters

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BONUS-

Consider this book: Bold: How to Go Big, Create Wealth and Impact the World – by Peter H. Diamandis and Steven Kotler

7 Steps for Creating the Life YOU Want

7 Steps for Creating the Life YOU Want

Stairway in blue heavensWe all aspire to do, be and have great things. Yet most of us simply aren’t creating the results we want. We complain that we don’t have enough money, romance, success or joy in our lives. We point fingers and blame outside problems that “happen” to us and make life more difficult. But what we need to understand and keep at the forefront of our minds is that greatness exists in all of us. It is simply up to us to pull it out of ourselves. Regardless of personal circumstances, economic climates, and access to resources, it helps to maintain faith in the fact we each are more powerful than we think. We all have the ability to create the life we want. We just need to learn how to do it. Is there an exact “formula”? No, but there are certain common features that successful people exhibit and that anyone can practice. They are what can jumpstart your success and attract what you want in life. You’d be hard pressed to find any high achiever who doesn’t live by the following 7 tips:

1. Take No Less than 100% Responsibility for Your Life

One of the greatest myths that is pervasive in our culture today is that you are entitled to a great life and that somehow, somewhere, someone is responsible for filling our lives with continual happiness, exciting career options, nurturing family time and blissful personal relationships simply because we exist. But the real truth is that there is only one person responsible for the quality of the life you live. That person is you. Everything about you is a result of your doing or not doing. Income. Debt. Relationships. Health. Fitness level. Attitudes and behaviors. That person who reflects back at you in the mirror is the chief conductor in your life. Say hello! I think everyone knows this in their hearts, but the mind can play games, tricking plenty of people into thinking external factors are the source of failure, disappointment, and unhappiness. But the truth of the matter is that external factors don’t determine how you live. You are in complete control of the quality of your life. Successful people take full responsibility for the thoughts they think, the images they visualize, and the actions they take. They don’t waste their time and energy blaming and complaining. They evaluate their experiences and decide if they need to change them or not. They face the uncomfortable and take risks in order to create the life they want to live.

2. Be Clear Why You’re Here

I believe each of us is born with a life purpose. Identifying, acknowledging and honoring this purpose is perhaps the most important action successful people take. They take the time to understand what they’re here to do, and then they pursue that with passion and enthusiasm. If you don’t know what you’re supposed to be doing, then just tune in to the signals around you. Looking toward others for help and guidance is helpful, but don’t forget to stay tuned in to yourself—your behavior, attitude, likes and dislikes, and life experiences. Identify what’s working and what isn’t. If you need to, write it all down. You might be surprised by what you discover.

3. Decide What You Want

It sounds so simple, but here’s the problem: I see plenty of people who are overly-busy yet who feel unsatisfied and unfulfilled. They are physically tired, spiritually drained, and far from where they’d like to be—as if they’ve been running on a treadmill going nowhere fast. Why? Because they haven’t clearly mapped out what they want and then taken the steps to get there. Rather than identifying specific goals, milestones, and dreams (and I’m talking BIG dreams and goals here), they go through the motions day in and day out tackling unimportant tasks. They end up…you guessed it…going in circles and wasting lots of energy. In the meanwhile, they grow increasingly uninspired and out of touch with their authentic selves. This, of course, sets anyone up to living a life out of balance. One of the main reasons why most people don’t get what they want is they haven’t decided what they want. They haven’t defined their desires in clear and compelling detail. What does success look like to you? Not everybody’s definition of success is the same, nor should it be. Don’t let your inner devil’s advocate (or that incessant but unimportant To Do list) inhibit you from dreaming big. As soon as you commit to a big dream and really go after it, your subconscious creative mind will come up with big ideas to make it happen. You’ll start attracting the people, resources, and opportunities you need into your life to make your dream come true. Big dreams not only inspire you, but they also compel others to want to play big, too.

4. Believe It Is Possible

Scientists used to believe that humans responded to information flowing into the brain from the outside world. But today, they’re learning that instead we respond to what the brain, based on previous experience, expects to happen next. In fact, the mind is such a powerful instrument; it can deliver literally everything you want. But you have to believe that what you want is possible. As you commit to believing in yourself, also make a commitment to toning down the complaint department. Look at what you are complaining about. I’m fat. I’m tired. I can’t get out of debt. I won’t ever get a better job. I can’t stand the relationship I have with my father. I’ll never find a soulmate in life. Really examine your complaints. More than likely you can do something about them. They are not about other people, other things, or other events. They are about YOU.

5. Believe in Yourself

If you are going to be successful in creating the life of your dreams, you have to believe that you are capable of making it happen. Whether you call it self-esteem, self-confidence or self-assurance, it is a deep-seated belief that you have what it takes; the abilities, inner resources, talents and skills to create your desired results. Have unwavering faith in yourself, for good and bad. Make the decision to believe that you create all your experiences. You will experience successes thanks to you, and you will experience pain, struggle, and strife thanks to you. Sounds a little strange, but accepting this level of responsibility is uniquely empowering. It means you can do, change, and be anything. Stumbling blocks become just that—little hills to hop over.

6. Become an Inverse Paranoid

This one is straightforward: Imagine how much easier it would be to succeed in life if you were constantly expecting the world to support you and bring you opportunity. Successful people do just that.

7. Unleash the Power of Goal Setting

Experts on the science of success know the brain is a goal-seeking organism. Whatever goal you give to your subconscious mind, it will work day and night to achieve. To engage you subconscious mind, a goal has to be measurable. When there aren’t any criteria for measurement, it is simply something you want, a wish, a preference, or a good idea. Sometimes we need to make just one initial goal to get started, and that’s okay. At least it comes with a few actions to achieve. A first step simply can be making an immediate change in a single area in your life. Are you unhappy about something that is happening right now? Make requests that will make it more desirable to you, or take the steps to change it yourself. Making a change might be uncomfortable and overwhelming for you. It might mean you have to put in more time, money, and effort. It might mean that someone gets upset about it, or makes you feel bad about your decision. It might be difficult to change or leave a situation, but staying put is your choice so why continue to complain? You can either do something about it or not. It is your choice and you have responsibility for your choices. Bear in mind that you have to be willing to change your behavior if you want a different outcome. You have to be willing to take the risks necessary to get what you want. If you’ve already taken an initial step in the right direction, now’s the time to plan more steps to keep moving you forward faster. Isn’t it a great relief to know that you can make your life what you want it to be? Isn’t it wonderful that your successes do not depend on someone else? So if you need just one thing to do different today than you did yesterday, make it this: Commit to taking 100% responsibility for every aspect of your life. Decide to make changes, one step at a time. Once you start the process you’ll discover it is much easier to get what you want by taking control of your thoughts, your visualizations, and your actions!


  WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete statement with it: Jack Canfield, America’s #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul®and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you’re ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com
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