Frey Freyday – Bold

 (Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

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Be bold, be bold, and everywhere be bold.-Herbert Spencer

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No discovery was ever made without a bold guess-Sir Isaac Newton

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Be bold, be brave enough to be your true self.-Queen Latifah

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Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.-Helen Keller

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Freedom lies in being bold.-Robert Frost

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We are all ordinary. We are all boring. We are all spectacular. We are all shy. We are all bold. We are all heroes. We are all helpless. It just depends on the day.-Brad Meltzer

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Often, in the real world, it’s not the smart that get ahead but the bold.-Robert Kiyosaki

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Leadership comes in small acts as well as bold strokes.-Carly Fiorina

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Laugh at yourself, but don’t ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don’t leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory.-Alan Alda

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Do not love leisure. Waste not a minute. Be bold. Realize the Truth, here and now!-Swami Sivananda

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Business is about people. It’s about passion. It’s about bold ideas, bold small ideas or bold large ideas.-Tom Peters

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BONUS-

Consider this book: Bold: How to Go Big, Create Wealth and Impact the World – by Peter H. Diamandis and Steven Kotler

7 Steps for Creating the Life YOU Want

7 Steps for Creating the Life YOU Want

Stairway in blue heavensWe all aspire to do, be and have great things. Yet most of us simply aren’t creating the results we want. We complain that we don’t have enough money, romance, success or joy in our lives. We point fingers and blame outside problems that “happen” to us and make life more difficult. But what we need to understand and keep at the forefront of our minds is that greatness exists in all of us. It is simply up to us to pull it out of ourselves. Regardless of personal circumstances, economic climates, and access to resources, it helps to maintain faith in the fact we each are more powerful than we think. We all have the ability to create the life we want. We just need to learn how to do it. Is there an exact “formula”? No, but there are certain common features that successful people exhibit and that anyone can practice. They are what can jumpstart your success and attract what you want in life. You’d be hard pressed to find any high achiever who doesn’t live by the following 7 tips:

1. Take No Less than 100% Responsibility for Your Life

One of the greatest myths that is pervasive in our culture today is that you are entitled to a great life and that somehow, somewhere, someone is responsible for filling our lives with continual happiness, exciting career options, nurturing family time and blissful personal relationships simply because we exist. But the real truth is that there is only one person responsible for the quality of the life you live. That person is you. Everything about you is a result of your doing or not doing. Income. Debt. Relationships. Health. Fitness level. Attitudes and behaviors. That person who reflects back at you in the mirror is the chief conductor in your life. Say hello! I think everyone knows this in their hearts, but the mind can play games, tricking plenty of people into thinking external factors are the source of failure, disappointment, and unhappiness. But the truth of the matter is that external factors don’t determine how you live. You are in complete control of the quality of your life. Successful people take full responsibility for the thoughts they think, the images they visualize, and the actions they take. They don’t waste their time and energy blaming and complaining. They evaluate their experiences and decide if they need to change them or not. They face the uncomfortable and take risks in order to create the life they want to live.

2. Be Clear Why You’re Here

I believe each of us is born with a life purpose. Identifying, acknowledging and honoring this purpose is perhaps the most important action successful people take. They take the time to understand what they’re here to do, and then they pursue that with passion and enthusiasm. If you don’t know what you’re supposed to be doing, then just tune in to the signals around you. Looking toward others for help and guidance is helpful, but don’t forget to stay tuned in to yourself—your behavior, attitude, likes and dislikes, and life experiences. Identify what’s working and what isn’t. If you need to, write it all down. You might be surprised by what you discover.

3. Decide What You Want

It sounds so simple, but here’s the problem: I see plenty of people who are overly-busy yet who feel unsatisfied and unfulfilled. They are physically tired, spiritually drained, and far from where they’d like to be—as if they’ve been running on a treadmill going nowhere fast. Why? Because they haven’t clearly mapped out what they want and then taken the steps to get there. Rather than identifying specific goals, milestones, and dreams (and I’m talking BIG dreams and goals here), they go through the motions day in and day out tackling unimportant tasks. They end up…you guessed it…going in circles and wasting lots of energy. In the meanwhile, they grow increasingly uninspired and out of touch with their authentic selves. This, of course, sets anyone up to living a life out of balance. One of the main reasons why most people don’t get what they want is they haven’t decided what they want. They haven’t defined their desires in clear and compelling detail. What does success look like to you? Not everybody’s definition of success is the same, nor should it be. Don’t let your inner devil’s advocate (or that incessant but unimportant To Do list) inhibit you from dreaming big. As soon as you commit to a big dream and really go after it, your subconscious creative mind will come up with big ideas to make it happen. You’ll start attracting the people, resources, and opportunities you need into your life to make your dream come true. Big dreams not only inspire you, but they also compel others to want to play big, too.

4. Believe It Is Possible

Scientists used to believe that humans responded to information flowing into the brain from the outside world. But today, they’re learning that instead we respond to what the brain, based on previous experience, expects to happen next. In fact, the mind is such a powerful instrument; it can deliver literally everything you want. But you have to believe that what you want is possible. As you commit to believing in yourself, also make a commitment to toning down the complaint department. Look at what you are complaining about. I’m fat. I’m tired. I can’t get out of debt. I won’t ever get a better job. I can’t stand the relationship I have with my father. I’ll never find a soulmate in life. Really examine your complaints. More than likely you can do something about them. They are not about other people, other things, or other events. They are about YOU.

5. Believe in Yourself

If you are going to be successful in creating the life of your dreams, you have to believe that you are capable of making it happen. Whether you call it self-esteem, self-confidence or self-assurance, it is a deep-seated belief that you have what it takes; the abilities, inner resources, talents and skills to create your desired results. Have unwavering faith in yourself, for good and bad. Make the decision to believe that you create all your experiences. You will experience successes thanks to you, and you will experience pain, struggle, and strife thanks to you. Sounds a little strange, but accepting this level of responsibility is uniquely empowering. It means you can do, change, and be anything. Stumbling blocks become just that—little hills to hop over.

6. Become an Inverse Paranoid

This one is straightforward: Imagine how much easier it would be to succeed in life if you were constantly expecting the world to support you and bring you opportunity. Successful people do just that.

7. Unleash the Power of Goal Setting

Experts on the science of success know the brain is a goal-seeking organism. Whatever goal you give to your subconscious mind, it will work day and night to achieve. To engage you subconscious mind, a goal has to be measurable. When there aren’t any criteria for measurement, it is simply something you want, a wish, a preference, or a good idea. Sometimes we need to make just one initial goal to get started, and that’s okay. At least it comes with a few actions to achieve. A first step simply can be making an immediate change in a single area in your life. Are you unhappy about something that is happening right now? Make requests that will make it more desirable to you, or take the steps to change it yourself. Making a change might be uncomfortable and overwhelming for you. It might mean you have to put in more time, money, and effort. It might mean that someone gets upset about it, or makes you feel bad about your decision. It might be difficult to change or leave a situation, but staying put is your choice so why continue to complain? You can either do something about it or not. It is your choice and you have responsibility for your choices. Bear in mind that you have to be willing to change your behavior if you want a different outcome. You have to be willing to take the risks necessary to get what you want. If you’ve already taken an initial step in the right direction, now’s the time to plan more steps to keep moving you forward faster. Isn’t it a great relief to know that you can make your life what you want it to be? Isn’t it wonderful that your successes do not depend on someone else? So if you need just one thing to do different today than you did yesterday, make it this: Commit to taking 100% responsibility for every aspect of your life. Decide to make changes, one step at a time. Once you start the process you’ll discover it is much easier to get what you want by taking control of your thoughts, your visualizations, and your actions!


  WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete statement with it: Jack Canfield, America’s #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul®and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you’re ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com

Frey Freyday – Needs

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

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A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.-Vernon Howard

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Everyone needs a coach. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a basketball player, a tennis player, a gymnast or a bridge player.-Bill Gates

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Encouragement to others is something everyone can give. Somebody needs what you have to give. It may not be your money; it may be your time. It may be your listening ear. It may be your arms to encourage. It may be your smile to uplift. Who knows?-Joel Osteen

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A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.-George A. Moore

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A man’s pride can be his downfall, and he needs to learn when to turn to others for support and guidance.-Bear Grylls

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There’s always the motivation of wanting to win. Everybody has that. But a champion needs, in his attitude, a motivation above and beyond winning.-Pat Riley

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Our species needs, and deserves, a citizenry with minds wide awake and a basic understanding of how the world works.-Carl Sagan

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We are driven by five genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun.-William Glasser

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Human needs are Physiological, Safety, Belongingness and Love, Esteem, Self-Actualization and Self-Transcendence. Abraham Maslow

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The six basic needs are Certainty/Comfort, Variety, Significance, Connection/Love, Growth, Contribution. – Tony Robbins

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I feel that every human being is beautiful, and I think that each one of us needs to realize how beautiful we really are.-Randy Fenoli

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Suffering needs time. It cannot survive in the now.-Eckhart Tolle
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When you are balanced and when you listen and attend to the needs of your body, mind, and spirit, your natural beauty comes out.-Christy Turlington

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What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.-Pearl Bailey

 

Rules for the Game of Life

I’d love to say I made this but I didn’t – regardless it is good stuff and worth passing along.

Read and / or watch it!’

All right let’s go, the five rules of life.

1. Have vision for your life.

Have a vision for who you want to become, the kind of person you want to become. What are the qualities of the type of person you want to feel and be like in your life? Also, vision for what is your dream? What’s your goal? What’s your desire? Where do you want to go? Where do you want your life to head? What will you find meaningful at the end of your life when you look back and you say, “Wow, I’ve lived my life. These were the things I found meaningful. These were the things I’m happy about. This was what I had pride in and having become this type of person. These were the types of relationships I created.”

That’s vision.

Sitting down and thinking about what you want of life, what you want to contribute of life, what you want to experience of life and that doesn’t land on you. A lot of people would say, “Brendon, I just don’t have vision for myself.” Well, vision doesn’t land on you, it’s not like you walk outside out of your house one day and the piano of purpose falls on your head and suddenly everything is clear. Some people have that epiphany. Some people have that awakening, but for most of us, it requires diligence and work.

Sit down with a piece of paper and a pen and say, “What’s my vision for life? What do I want my life to be like? Where do I want to live? What kind of work do I want to contribute to the world? What kind of relationships do I want to build?”

That requires thought, brainstorming and if you don’t know the answers to that that’s okay, experience the world some more. Go sample different parts of the world, of your community or ask other people how they discovered what they wanted in life. Start this journey, become a seeker of what your vision will be and the vision will suddenly start to coalesce and you’ll figure these things out.

But, the primary components of vision are, who do you want to become, the type of person? For me, the type of person I want to become is…. and fill that out because that begins the vision for your life. It’s all about the type of person you want to become, and living each and every single day into that person, to become that person.

At some point in my life I thought, I want to become more present, because I wasn’t. I wasn’t able to get that awareness around me of other people, that awareness of my thoughts, feelings and emotions, to experience the full immensity and magic of he moment. I said, “I have the vision to become a present person.” I had to discipline myself to tune in and say, “What am I paying attention to right now? What am I feeling? What am I sensing? Am I in this moment? Am I here with this person or am I checked out and away?”

I really had to do that. It was a discipline to live into the vision of that type of person. It’s just an example and I hope you will develop your own vision for who you want to become.

2. Believe in your ability to figure things out.

Some people just can’t believe in themselves, their total self. I hope you can get there and believe in your total self. That should be a mission too. But a rule is believing in your ability to figure things out. It allows you to wade into any unknown territory, any uncertainty and say you know what, I don’t know what the hell is going on here, but I will figure it out.

That is a life belief we all must have: The ability to know that with enough time, energy, focus, resources even, that over a period of time we can develop the knowledge, skill, competency, mastery of any area that we must succeed in.

With enough time, dedication and effort we can do it and we must believe in our ability to figure things out.

When the worst of life’s storms hit you, to say, “You know what, this is terrible right now. This challenge is awful but I’ll figure my way out of it. It might not be easy; there will be hardship, struggle and frustration. Other people will be jerks, but I’ll figure my way out of it. I will learn through this. I will develop through this. I will grow through this. I will move through. There will be a better tomorrow. There will be something that I move and progress in my life towards this, even if it’s a slog or a struggle; honor that struggle.”

Be okay with that struggle, because you know in your heart and mind you will figure it out. You will figure it out and as you learn more from other people over a period of time, you’ll gain that confidence and guess what? As you figure things out you develop competency. You develop your knowledge, skill and ability, your talent and mastery of life and with competency comes confidence. You’ll have more confidence in your life. That will come from believing in yourself and your ability to figure it out, enough times that you got it.

3. The third rule of life is to have fun no matter what, chasing your dreams.

As you have that vision, you have that dream, you have that desire that you’re going to have fun on this journey, even when it sucks, even when it’s difficult, even when you’re dealing with someone you don’t like or a bad co-worker or a bad boss or a bad spouse or a bad child, whatever you got, whatever you’re dealing with, just say you know what, I’m going to bring the fun. I’m going to bring the joy into this situation proactively.

I’m not going to wait for something to happen that I can have fun. I’m going to bring the fun. I am the fun. I will show up in whatever way, whatever way you enjoy life, whatever way that fun, joy, zest and enthusiasm sparks for you. Make that happen. Bring that into the situation proactively.

I go into the tensest situations in my business now sometimes, where literally; major decisions are on my shoulders. Major leaders from fortune 500 companies, sometimes billionaire clients are literally like, “Brendon!” and they’re so tense. The stuff has hit the fan. The storm has landed. Everyone is freaking out and I’m going to be the guy that walks in with a positive buoyant focused attitude.

I’m going to be the one to bring the joy to that situation. I’m going to bring the light to that darkness, even though sometimes I feel overwhelmed by that darkness of doubt or delay or distraction in my life. I’m going to move that aside and show up, because I have this rule, no matter what I will have fun doing what I am doing, chasing my dreams and that’s allowed my life to have a very uncommon charge.

I just make that happen. It’s not a luck it’s a discipline, a discipline of having fun, a desire to have fun and bring that into every single situation of my life. I hope you’ll make that a rule of your life.

4. Be patient but persistent.

Be cool. Life might not be progressing as fast as it wants to be. Be cool that you’re not getting ahead as fast as you want to get ahead. Give yourself the patience and allowance to do a good job. It might take longer than you think it’s going to take. A lot of people beat themselves up because they’re in such a hurry.

I think some of the worst components and worst behaviors and vices of human kind comes from hurry, being in way too big of a hurry and wanting that immediate payoff, being entitled to have it right now without allowing that long journey of struggle.

I’m cool with the struggle. I honor the struggle. I know it’s going to be there. I’m patient. I know that my time, if I am disciplined and focused on doing the things that are good for me, for others, for my business, for my life, for you. If I’m focused, I know over a period of time with enough patience the success will come.

The joy will come. Do you know how long I did these videos before I ever made it a career? Do you know how many stages I spoke on and just sucked? I was allowing myself to learn.

To be a learner you have to have patience with yourself, but the critical element is that you have to be persistent. You, even as your patient you’re allowing time to take place as you’re putting these things in, you’re allowing the universe to align with your desires, your dreams and your focus. You are also not stopping.

You are persistent in your actions as well as you are patient. It’s that peaceful warrior that you are working towards. You are fighting. You are struggling to move towards it, but at the exact same time you’re cool.

You’re accepting that everything is as it needs to be right now and you are continually taking action.

That persistence of action and behavior is what gets you ahead. It has to be a rule of life if we’re going to have what we want, because we can’t just start something and stop it all the time, that’s just distraction.

We have to be persistent towards our dreams and patient with ourselves.

5. Love and respect others playing the same game.

We’re all in this game of life. We’re all doing the best that we can. Loving and respecting other people is critical not only to our happiness and connection with the people that we care for, it is critical to our destiny. It is critical to our legacy. It is critical to our legend. It is critical to our simple, everyday experience of the good parts of life.

To love other people is a rule for me. I take all this divine energy of love around me and I try and amplify and give it to people. That’s how I see myself, as a big ole vessel of good amplification and good vibes for human beings.

I think it’s critical that we respect other people. We tolerate that they have their own life. It’s just tolerance. It’s about allowing people to have their own voice, allowing people to have their own experience, allow them to follow their intuition. Let them follow their own rules and be okay with it. Let them follow their own life and be okay with it. Accepting, understanding, empathathizing, sympathetic, compassionate, kind to other people, that’s the zest of life.

It’s that great grand connection that ultimately makes us feel, as human beings, fulfilled: because we loved.

So love others on your journey. Make it a practice. Make it a discipline. Make it an area of mastery, where other people around you always feel like you’re so attentive to them that they feel adored and appreciated. They feel your affection and it’s real, authentic and genuine, and they’re like wow, this person is something.

Have that intention for other people. Care about them so much that they love to be around you, that you attract them and that you feel fulfilled in giving that very thing that birthed you: Love.

http://brendonburchard.tumblr.com/post/94260683703/5-rules-for-the-game-of-life

Quick thoughts on achievement

Like many other times, I feel compelled to pass along a good post by someone….

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Four things you must master this week to advance more quickly:

1. Your Desire. If you are unclear about what you want from the world this week, the world will simply take from you what it desires – your time, energy, focus, and goals will be ‘their’ goals versus your goals. It is never to late to sit down with a pen and paper and write your own manifesto for what you desire of life personally and professionally. Remember: No clarity, no change. No goals, no growth.

2. Your Direction. Now that you know what you want, what is Step 1-5 in getting there? What knowledge, skills, abilities, resources, and support must you start acquiring in order to make your dreams come to fruition in concrete and accelerated ways?

3. Your Discipline. What habits and habits will you form and stick to EVERY day and EVERY week in order to move yourself forward with real fire and momentum.

4. Your Distractions. What will you STOP paying attention to? Where will you no longer give your time and energy? How will you minimize distractions and stay on purpose? The secret to success: Focus. Focus. Focus.

Now go kick some butt this week my friends,

Brendon Burchard – Live. Love. Matter.

Full video training and transcripts on this topic on the blog:http://tmblr.co/ZTb1Dv1NBfF3h

14 Ways to Be a Happier Person

A great article to consider:

http://time.com/3433493/14-ways-to-be-a-happier-person/?utm_content=buffer72c3f&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Billboard-worthy news: It’s possible to amp up your bliss every single day with these simple, unexpected strategies

Also tricky: keeping the glee going when you have work to do, kids to raise, bills to pay and more work to do. Mercifully, big, costly, splashy events are not the ultimate bliss bringers. As people get older, they tend to find ordinary treats—such as a latte or a manicure—just as joy-inducing as extraordinary ones like an around-the-world cruise, found a 2014 study by researchers at Dartmouth and the University of Pennsylvania. With age, the authors speculate, we’re more aware of how fleeting time is, so we’re particularly likely to relish everyday bright spots.

What you won’t find here: a step-by-step happiness guide. How draining would that be? Instead, we tapped top positive psychologists for easy ways to infuse your days with more pleasure. Consider this a pick-and-choose list; even doing just a few will help. Ready for more joy? Plan on it!

First up: Make it your goal

Although increasing happiness levels shouldn’t feel like work, having a can-do mindset really comes in handy. In a study published in theJournal of Positive Psychology, people who were told to listen to music and attempt to feel happier had a greater boost in bliss over a two-week period than those instructed only to relax as they listened to the same upbeat tunes. It comes down to motivation: You can transform into more of a glass-half-full type.

While researchers believe that genetics are behind about 50 percent of the variation in happiness levels among you and your neighbors and that life circumstances account for maybe 10 percent, you’re fully in charge of the rest. “A lot of people think you can’t control happiness—you either have it or you don’t—which is totally not true,” stresses Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD, professor of psychology at University of California, Riverside, and author of The Myths of Happiness. “It’s like controlling your health. First you need to believe that you can do it before you take those first steps.”

Know your own bliss

When was the last time you mulled over what truly brings you pleasure, aside from biggies like your partner and the kids? “A key to steering your own happiness is reflecting on the things that make you come alive,” Fredrickson says. Perhaps it’s been so long since you’ve done some of them that they’ve fallen off your radar. Make a list, if it helps. “Think back to what gave you joy in your younger years,” says psychiatrist Stuart Brown, MD, founder of the National Institute for Play in Carmel Valley, Calif., and author of Play. Maybe you’re not jamming on a guitar in your bedroom anymore, but “you can recall the carefree state,” Dr. Brown says, “in which the outcome wasn’t as important as what you were experiencing.” You want to find what does that for you now and…

…Prioritize it

Sigh if this sounds familiar: You make a major effort to avoid future stress—say, staying up late to finish laundry so tomorrow will be a better day—only to suck your evening dry of all fun. Happiness researcher Robert Biswas-Diener, PhD, founder and managing director of the consulting firm Positive Acorn in Milwaukie, Ore., knows this treadmill effect well. He delivers a lecture regularly at Portland State University: “I give the students an hour off and tell them to do anything they want that’s legal that will make them happy. Some have a hard time with it—they even do homework! What they say is, ‘I’d be stressed if I didn’t get that task done.’ People think that working toward less stress will make them happier. That’s a minor form of insanity.”

In a get-stuff-done world, it’s hard to avoid our efficiency instinct. The answer, then, is to focus on enjoyable stuff, along with the must-dos. “Don’t fit joyful activities into your days—fit your days around them,” Biswas-Diener urges. “Do you ever hear devoted church attendees say, ‘Can we reschedule church because something came up?’ You need to have that church mentality about whatever it is that gives you pleasure. If you say that your weeks are full, find the next blank spot in your calendar.” Protect that sacred time from “nibblers” (otherwise known as your family), adds productivity consultant Julie Morgenstern, author of Time Management from the Inside Out:“Announce to everyone that it’s your time to recharge your batteries.” Tap a friend to make sure you use that time strictly for fun.

Smell the shower gel

The act of savoring—mining pleasant moments for their joy—is a proven happiness booster. In one study published in The Journal of Positive Psychology, 101 men and women kept diaries for a month, recording positive activities they participated in and how much they did or didn’t savor them. Those who tended to enjoy a good thing—and share their delight with others—maintained high levels of happiness no matter what the day brought, whereas nonappreciators needed positive events to get into a good mood. Savoring is a no-brainer—just tune in to your senses. Inhale that pinot grigio, feel the soft rug under your bare feet. “I leave a little time in the morning to savor my showers,” Lyubomirsky says. “I go out of my way to buy gels with the best scents.” You can even find ways to relish tasks; try running YouTube as you delete junk email. (Why hasn’t anyone yet studied the happiness powers of panda videos?!)

Ration your time

Gold, natural gas and your attention: They’re all scarce resources. Allocate wisely so you can max out time for pleasure, recommends Paul Dolan, PhD, in his new book Happiness By Design. “Every tweet, text or email distracts us from the good experiences and people in our lives,” he says. Some research shows that heavy social media users are less merry than others. One study published in the scientific journal Plos One found that the more people went on Facebook, the more their life satisfaction levels declined. (Click: dis-like.)

Experts widely recommend electronic time-outs; shut off your phone for a couple of hours a night or do email-free Saturdays or Sundays. You also want to dump any activity that “should” make you happy but in reality doesn’t, like the book club that picks crappy reads or an overly earnest yoga class. It’s hard to walk away, Dolan acknowledges, “but you probably haven’t regretted breaking joyless commitments in the past. Remember: Lost happiness is lost forever.”

Think perky thoughts

On those days when you barely have time to breathe, recall something that made you happy and you can get a boost. In one study from Michigan State University, bus drivers who smiled as a result of thinking about a positive event, such as a child’s recital, were in more upbeat moods than workers who fake-smiled. Science suggests that a full, genuine grin—one that involves facial muscles around the eyes—sparks a change in brain activity related to a good mood. So, yep: Say cheese.

Buy some happy

As any woman who has ever bought a trendy, overpriced accessory knows, the kick we get out of purchases wears off fast. However, spending on experiences (like tickets to a Broadway show) rather than things (another black sweater) creates lasting contentment—with one new caveat. A study co-authored by Ryan T. Howell, PhD, associate professor at San Francisco State University and director of its Personality and Well-Being Lab, found that people fail to get pleasure from objects or experiences if they’re acquiring them mainly for bragging rights. That is, if you’re more of a local-Thai-restaurant person and you plan a 40th-birthday blowout at Le Fancy Schmancy Bistro, you may get admiration on Facebook but miss out on feeling personal delight.

Play around in love

If the words Honey, take out the trash! are your idea of foreplay, you know that running our domestic lives sometimes saps the fun out of relationships. “Playfulness energizes both of you and gets your brains in sync,” says Vagdevi Meunier, PsyD, a relationship therapist certified by the Gottman Institute in Seattle and founder of The Center for Relationships in Austin, Texas. “It also lightens the vibe of a relationship and helps us manage the business of our lives—otherwise it’s too much about dishes and bills.” She likes to tell couples she works with, “I can help you fight better, but that’s not nearly as effective as if I help you play better.” One recent suggestion to busy parents of three: Zap each other more playful texts. “They’d send links to funny sites. Or he would text her at work, suggesting she imagine him naked,” Meunier says. “The couple started looking forward to coming home instead of being grumpy. And they’d talk about the texts.”

Have a bad-day backup plan

You have backup in case your electricity goes out, even if it’s just a stockpile of flashlights. Time to come up with one in case your moodfails. Michele Phillips, a performance coach in Piermont, N.Y., and author of Happiness Is a Habit, has a group of friends who’ve dubbed themselves the Village. “I can call them anytime my day is going badly, and they will change my frame of mind,” she says. She recalls sitting in a bar in Colorado after her divorce, feeling lonely and, she says, “like I had loser written on my forehead.” She called a Village friend, “and she said, ‘Look around: You’re in Vail, skiing!’ She helped me shift the thinking from ‘poor me’ to ‘lucky me.’”

Find purpose in pleasure

For total happiness, you need a mix of activities that give you joy and a sense of meaning, what Dolan calls the pleasure-purpose principle. “If happiness were only about pleasure, what would be the point of having kids or helping others?” he says. “To be truly happy, we need feelings of purpose, too.” Think volunteer work or taking a cooking class. The positive feelings that come from these sorts of activities can help train the brain’s neurons to overcome its negativity bias. As neuropsychologist Rick Hanson, PhD, explains in his bookHardwiring Happiness, the brain is all too good at remembering adverse experiences, which he traces to ancestors who had to focus on threats like predators in order to survive. But when you rack up feel-good experiences that give you a sense of achievement, they can serve as a buffer against the disappointing ones.

Think less “me” time, more “we” time

Truly sunny people have one thing in common, and it’s got nothing to do with their paychecks, IQs or gender, Biswas-Diener says: They have plenty of good social relationships. These include interactions that psychologists refer to as social snacking—little ways of connecting with other human beings, including strangers. In one 2014 study by Nicholas Epley, PhD, professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business and author ofMindwise: How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel and Want, participants heading to work by train either refrained from engaging with fellow passengers or made conversation. Chatty commuters—both introverts and extroverts alike—reported having the most pleasant commute. In another recent study co-authored by Elizabeth Dunn, PhD, at the University of British Columbia, people kept a running tab of social interactions with folks with whom they had either a strong or weak tie. Regardless of the type of person they connected with, they consistently felt more chipper on days when they mingled.

Yes, camaraderie is comforting—that feeling that we’re all in this crazy world together. “But when you talk with strangers, there’s also the pleasant surprise of finding stuff in common and sometimes the exhilaration of their opening up your world when they tell you something interesting you didn’t know,” Epley says. Surprisingly, having conversations with new people can even keep things upbeat at home. As Dunn puts it, “Trying to be pleasant and cheerful ends up improving your mood in ways you can’t foresee.”

Go off the grid

Weekend getaways continue to trend; cruise lines are even creating shorter jaunts for time-crunched travelers. And yet for deeper joy, you can’t beat a long trip. “One of the biggest deterrents to happiness is that we adapt to our situations—you buy your house and it has a beautiful view, but at some point you stop deriving pleasure from it,” Howell says. When you take only a quick journey, the elation spike is brief. How high you go! How quickly you return to reality! An extended vacation—even to somewhere familiar like a beach town three hours away from home—may create more impactful, lasting memories. And having a bank of them to tap into can add to happiness, research shows. So try to budget for a two-week trip. Even just planning gives you a boost: One study from the Netherlands indicated that the bliss of a trip can start months before it begins, owing to the anticipation.

Be nicer

Nobody is calling you evil, but committing to a few do-good gestures a day can increase your general level of contentment. “I’ve found that when people are told to try to do three to five acts of kindness a week, they get happier,” Lyubomirsky reports. “It does not have to be a grand gesture, given that women are already doing so much caregiving. At the store, let someone get in line ahead of you. Give a compliment. Smile at someone.” Or simply do something thoughtful for your significant other, she continues: “We just finished a study in which we asked someone to choose a person in her life to make happier, like her husband, three times a week. It also made the giversignificantly happier.”

Make Sunday future-fun day

One enjoyable thing you should do every weekend: Make plans for the next one. “The anticipation powers you through the workweek,” Morgenstern says. The tactic also helps you avoid making passive, meh plans, like accepting the Saturday dinner invite from that couple you don’t totally like just because you have nothing better on tap. Morgenstern has a formula for a blissful weekend: PEP (physical, escape, people). In other words, a mix of physical activities that energize you, escapist activities that relax you and people who inspire you. “It’s a good framework for putting together weekends that leave you happy,” she says. Not to mention entire happier weeks.

This article originally appeared on Health.com.

Frey Freyday- Defeat

( Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff….)

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What is defeat? Nothing but education; Nothing but the first step to something better.- Bruce Lee

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Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure… than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.-Theodore Roosevelt

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The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths.-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

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There was never a night or a problem that could defeat sunrise or hope.-Bernard Williams

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There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time.-Malcolm X

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Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.-F. Scott Fitzgerald

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The opportunity to secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself.-Sun Tzu

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Opportunity often comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat.-Napoleon Hill

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In the time of darkest defeat, victory may be nearest.-William McKinley

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Life has meaning only in the struggle. Triumph or defeat is in the hands of the Gods. So let us celebrate the struggle!-Stevie Wonder

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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.-George Carlin

BONUS:

http://brendonburchard.tumblr.com/post/97386984808/how-to-sustain-hope

Youtube Video

How to Sustain Hope

http://youtu.be/iY9lNNXbsv4

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