Self Awareness

Here’s a great video and transcript from Brendon Burchard

Summary:

We lose self-awareness when we are:

1. Directionless. How can we feel and sense life if we don’t have the intention to do so? Bring more conscious choice into your days and you will feel enlivened.

2. Detached. If we detach from all negative feeling, we also risk losing connection with positive feeling. You have to feel your experiences and moments again. It’s time to connect to the reality and sensations of life once more.

3. Disassociated. It’s easy to go through life and look at our bad behavior and say, “Well, that just wasn’t the real me.” But that was you. Your actions are who you are just as much as your values and hopes and dreams. And it’s time to own it, to stop trying to disassociate parts of who you are. To feel aware, we must own our entirety, the good and bad, and we must strive to live into our ideal selves.

4. Distracted. Distraction is the ultimate thief of life, of light, of human awareness. We must do all we can do to minimize the inconsequential in our lives. If we are constantly scatter brained then we can never sense or immerse in the magic of each moment. Distraction kills presence, joy, and gratitude. Let us make presence, real focus and the immersion in the moment our aim.

Full Transcript:

It’s so incredible to see in the popular culture, people talking about mindfulness and about self awareness and being present again, because those things are so vital to our ability to feel engaged, happy, joyful and fulfilled in life.

But, a lot of people are struggling with those things. About feeling that sense of self awareness in their life, that real connection, that real presence, that vitality in the Now, that experience of the moment.

Let’s talk about that, because so many people really do feel detached from that. They kind of feel numb as they go throughout the day, or so frustrated or stressed that they aren’t feeling that bliss or connection of vitality that could be experienced every single moment. So why?

I call it the death of self-awareness or the Four Horseman of Self-Awareness. If these things are at play in your life then it’s a lot harder to experience the day as magically as it can be experienced. It’s hard to feel that sense of the charged life.

So let’s talk about this. The first horseman of the four horseman of self awareness is…

1. Lack of Direction

People are somehow directionless. During the day they’re going through the motions.

They’re showing up unconsciously to the world in a reactive state, all day long without any of that proactive more conscious or intentional idealization of what they want, who they are, what they want to achieve, feel or sense that day.

It’s like you could walk across the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco and be like, “I’m at the Golden Gate Bridge; let’s walk across it.” Or you could say,“This is going to be amazing, I can’t wait to see the things and have a real sense of aliveness, vitality, enthusiasm about the experience, to really sense it and feel it.”

I know you’ve been to landmarks, or you’ve been in relationships that happen where something was amazing.

Maybe you had a wedding and you can remember every single momentbecause you looked forward to it and you said, “I’m really going to experience these times.”

Maybe you had the birth of a child or you dropped a child off at school and everything played in slow motion. Because you made the moment meaningful you were mindful to it. You were attentive to your senses. You were attentive to what was happening around you. You were attentive to details and moments and just the experience.

It’s bringing attentiveness to the moment that is mindfulness. It’s being alert and aware to what’s happening around you and engaged with it, allowing it, accepting it, feeling it, and sensing it in a way that life starts to pick up its sense of aliveness. It’s what makes life so magical and meaningful for people when you can get to that state, but you have to have the direction in mind. You have to say, “Okay, this day I’m going to experience this day. I’ve been ho-humming through the days, been going unconsciously through them. Today I’m going to experience the things. I’m going to experience and sense and feel and understand what’s happening around me. I’m really going to connect with the Now.”

You have to give yourself that gift. It’s a direction in your mind that says hey,experience this world. It’s getting in it, sensing it and feeling it.

2. Detachment

This is the second horseman. It’s detachment from any feeling, emotion or even sometimes expectation to the day. It’s not feeling anything or allowing yourself to feel things even when they’re good.

A lot of people have done so much work in their life to blot out negative emotion, that they aren’t letting in positive emotion.

Or so many people feel like they’ve been failing so much in their lives they don’t have a connection things when they do succeed, so they aren’t integratingsuccess. They might have a good series of things happen to them but they don’tfeel them. They don’t allow themselves to take that success in, that win in, really internalize it and say, “Wow, I did that!” and sense that moment of satisfaction or pride to doing something amazing. They never allow themselves any of the positive emotions of life and they don’t allow those positive emotions to stick or settle in.

That’s why, one of the first things a psychologist will do in working with a new patient is making sure at the end of the day they start journaling positive things that happen throughout their day.

It’s scientifically proven that you can essentially start a gratitude journal and lift up your level of happiness in life. Why? Because now you’re paying attention to the things that bring you positive emotion and happiness in life. You’re recording them, writing them down, physicalizing that memory and feeling and sensing it, and allowing it to come in. Try that.

If you feel like you’ve been detached from emotion in life it’s time to allow that back in, to allow yourself to feel passionate and excited about things again. To allow yourself to get dorked out about a new learning opportunity and new things you’re going to see, to allow yourself to say, “I did that, good for me,” and have a sense of pride about some things. You deserve that – you did some good things.

It’s also allowing yourself not to be detached from negative things. So many people are scared to experience a negative thing that it’s like they never develop any strength or capability of dealing with those things.

Do you know anybody who can’t handle conflict they’re always running from conflict? It’s because they’ve always detached from that emotion. Ooh, I’m scared.

Part of the way we’ve become mature enlightened adults is we start to face the things we are fearful of or we are scared of and we allow ourselves to feel it and sense it. It’s okay to feel the fear.

It’s okay to feel uncomfortable about something. It’s okay to feel vulnerable. It’s okay to feel what other people might call negative or scary or uncertain emotions. The more comfort you start to have with uncomfortable emotions, the more comfort you have with uncomfortable situations, the more you start developing a consciousness about how to deal with them. The only way you’re going to develop comfort with them is to allow yourself to accept that and to acknowledge, “This is the feeling I’m having about this. Why am I feeling this way? Is this how I want to feel? Will this add or contribute here? Is there anything I can do to shift or generate a new emotion that would be more positive or healthy for me?”

That’s consciousness, but you can’t do that if you’re detached from every emotion, every opportunity and every experience that comes into your life. You have to feel again.

The third horseman that steals away our own sense of self awareness is so simple and obvious.

3. Disassociation

It is disassociating ourselves and identities with situations. Not just detaching from things, but going through experiences of our lives and saying, “That’s not me.” Showing up every single day and doing something going, “Well, the realme wouldn’t do that. That’s not the real me. The real me is more passionate than that.”

Or maybe you go out with your friends and you go home at night and you’re like, “The real me is more fun you didn’t give me a chance, we needed another date before you’d realize how much fun I am.”

There’s this disassociation that you’ve gone through experiences and saying that’s not you, but it is you. The good news and bad news is that what you’ve been showing up as in this last week, this last month or last year that’s you, even if you disassociate from it and say, “That’s not me.”

That’s what a lot of people try to do they say, “Brendon, that’s not the real me.”No, that’s the real you. That’s what has been showing up and that’s the real result, real effect, real behavior that was you, so stop trying to disassociate from it.

Part of awareness is accepting who we truly are, not just in our mind but in our behaviors in the world. To accept and say “Gosh, that was me. I did do that. I am responsible for myself. I am responsible for my actions, emotion, attitudes, how I treat other people and I need to evaluate that and ask…Is that the person I want to be? Am I happy with that? Am I proud of that? Is there something I could shift in my character or my behavior or beliefs that would make me a better person?”

If we always disassociate and say, that’s not the real me that’s okay, you don’t understand. The real me is like this.

If you haven’t been showing the world the real you than you have not been practicing self awareness or demonstrating consciousness, you’ve been demonstrating the opposite, dissociation. So it’s time to reconnect, take ownership and responsibility for the person you’ve become, even if some of that is negative for you. Say oh gosh okay, I have to change this.

I remember in my own life I would find myself as I hurried sometimes that I would be rude to people. I would say, “I’m not a rude person, but wait, if I’m being rude to people than I am a rude person.” I had to take that to heart and say, “Brendon, that’s not the real you but it is because that’s who you’re showing up as, so I need to shift my behavior in the way I experienced those moments of hurry and how I treat people in those moments of hurry to become the person I know I could be versus the person I was being.”

I know you follow that and it’s so important. I hope you’ll find some inspiration there to really take a look at your life and ask, “Who’s been showing up and are you happy with that person?” If not, then show up in a new way, change, find something within that enlivens you and puts you in a more positive attitude and character that you can be proud of.

4. Distraction

This is the final horseman. Distraction steals people’s awareness. We know from the art and science of studying flow or that neural connection in which we can see that people are freely engaged in whatever activity they’re doing. We know for sure that the more distractions that come in the less engaged they are. And the challenge is we’re all distracted in a million ways right now, and with all this distraction we’re experiencing we aren’t having the opportunity to have any full awareness to a moment because our phone is texting us or our cells going on here or our computer is over there or the kids need this or that.

We’re lacking the ability to bring our full essence and energy into the moments that are meaningful in our lives, and to create meaningful moments in our lives by bringing our full essence and energy into those minutes and moments of our lives.

So you have to say, “Okay, can I minimize distraction?”

The biggest art of developing more awareness in our life is knowing how to deal with distractions, and having a focal point of what we desire, what we intend to feel, give, contribute or create and be focused on that and be aware to it, feel and experience and be part of that and not allow 50 things.

There’s a reason when you go into an artist’s studio that it’s the artist sitting there alone by themselves painting or by themselves working. There’s a reason there are these moments in our lives when we need to create something significant that we need to get away. That’s because we need to apply our full awareness to it.

Look at your life and ask, on a scale of 1-10, how distracted am I? Ten being so distracted nothing is felt, experienced, moved or progressed in life and one being hey, you’re good, you’re totally focused. So 10 is a problem whereas one is not. If you’re at a 5-6-7-8-9 or 10 in distraction trust me, you aren’t going to experience the magic, the joy that is a sense of presence. You aren’t getting that experience of consciousness, of vitality and real engagement with life, because you’re being pulled in too many directions and at some point our energy, the more it’s dissipated by all these distractions the less we feel in life.

The good news about all these things is every one I’ve just mentioned are under your command. These are things you can control.

You can get more direction in your life just by choosing to have it.

You can choose not to be detached to the experiences, but rather engaged with them.

To not be disassociated as a person but rather choose the person who’s experiencing and creating those things.

You can minimize distractions in your life.

When you do that an entire new level of life opens up to you. It feels incredibly engaged. You’re so enthusiastic to experience it every single day and that’s what we call The Charged Life.

8 Things Happy People Do Every Morning

8 Things Happy People Do Every Morning

A great article-consider it tomorrow!

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-15673/8-things-happy-people-do-every-morning.html

Little habits mean a lot…

As I may have mentioned, several years ago I had a challenging year, and I felt that it set me back in many ways.

I lost both parents within 5 weeks of each other, I was temporarily unemployed, and I had losses with my investment property.

I was grieving, sad, depressed, I felt like I wasn’t living up to being a man, a father, etc.

My self talk and thoughts were probably the biggest problem. I worried a lot, thought negative thoughts, went over bad things in the past, focused on what wasn’t working.

Looking back now, trying to learn from the experience, the things that helped me the most were these items:
1. having a vision of how I wanted things to be – and thinking/talking about that vision as if it was already done, already here.

2. asking great, positive questions – like “Why am I so happy?” instead of “Why do I feel so down?”

3. Focusing on what is working, what I have that is good, instead of what doesn’t work, what isn’t good.

I adopted little habits that I tried to do each day -

  1. I would write down my vision and when I could, handwrite it/copy it again.
  2. I would write down my powerful questions on index cards and read them, even copy them whenever I could. I would pick one each day to really focus on.
  3. I started using passwords that were meaningful and helpful to changing my thinking. So instead of some random password like shoe$1lace I might choose whydoIwin6 or whatisgr8, Iamgr8ful and so on. Think about how many times you put in different passwords each day. We type them over and over. What if these were little empowering questions, messages or reminders? wouldn’t that help a little?

Have a good week!

Visualize-090604

Frey Freyday – Bold

 (Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

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Be bold, be bold, and everywhere be bold.-Herbert Spencer

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No discovery was ever made without a bold guess-Sir Isaac Newton

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Be bold, be brave enough to be your true self.-Queen Latifah

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Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.-Helen Keller

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Freedom lies in being bold.-Robert Frost

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We are all ordinary. We are all boring. We are all spectacular. We are all shy. We are all bold. We are all heroes. We are all helpless. It just depends on the day.-Brad Meltzer

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Often, in the real world, it’s not the smart that get ahead but the bold.-Robert Kiyosaki

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Leadership comes in small acts as well as bold strokes.-Carly Fiorina

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Laugh at yourself, but don’t ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don’t leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory.-Alan Alda

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Do not love leisure. Waste not a minute. Be bold. Realize the Truth, here and now!-Swami Sivananda

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Business is about people. It’s about passion. It’s about bold ideas, bold small ideas or bold large ideas.-Tom Peters

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BONUS-

Consider this book: Bold: How to Go Big, Create Wealth and Impact the World – by Peter H. Diamandis and Steven Kotler

7 Steps for Creating the Life YOU Want

7 Steps for Creating the Life YOU Want

Stairway in blue heavensWe all aspire to do, be and have great things. Yet most of us simply aren’t creating the results we want. We complain that we don’t have enough money, romance, success or joy in our lives. We point fingers and blame outside problems that “happen” to us and make life more difficult. But what we need to understand and keep at the forefront of our minds is that greatness exists in all of us. It is simply up to us to pull it out of ourselves. Regardless of personal circumstances, economic climates, and access to resources, it helps to maintain faith in the fact we each are more powerful than we think. We all have the ability to create the life we want. We just need to learn how to do it. Is there an exact “formula”? No, but there are certain common features that successful people exhibit and that anyone can practice. They are what can jumpstart your success and attract what you want in life. You’d be hard pressed to find any high achiever who doesn’t live by the following 7 tips:

1. Take No Less than 100% Responsibility for Your Life

One of the greatest myths that is pervasive in our culture today is that you are entitled to a great life and that somehow, somewhere, someone is responsible for filling our lives with continual happiness, exciting career options, nurturing family time and blissful personal relationships simply because we exist. But the real truth is that there is only one person responsible for the quality of the life you live. That person is you. Everything about you is a result of your doing or not doing. Income. Debt. Relationships. Health. Fitness level. Attitudes and behaviors. That person who reflects back at you in the mirror is the chief conductor in your life. Say hello! I think everyone knows this in their hearts, but the mind can play games, tricking plenty of people into thinking external factors are the source of failure, disappointment, and unhappiness. But the truth of the matter is that external factors don’t determine how you live. You are in complete control of the quality of your life. Successful people take full responsibility for the thoughts they think, the images they visualize, and the actions they take. They don’t waste their time and energy blaming and complaining. They evaluate their experiences and decide if they need to change them or not. They face the uncomfortable and take risks in order to create the life they want to live.

2. Be Clear Why You’re Here

I believe each of us is born with a life purpose. Identifying, acknowledging and honoring this purpose is perhaps the most important action successful people take. They take the time to understand what they’re here to do, and then they pursue that with passion and enthusiasm. If you don’t know what you’re supposed to be doing, then just tune in to the signals around you. Looking toward others for help and guidance is helpful, but don’t forget to stay tuned in to yourself—your behavior, attitude, likes and dislikes, and life experiences. Identify what’s working and what isn’t. If you need to, write it all down. You might be surprised by what you discover.

3. Decide What You Want

It sounds so simple, but here’s the problem: I see plenty of people who are overly-busy yet who feel unsatisfied and unfulfilled. They are physically tired, spiritually drained, and far from where they’d like to be—as if they’ve been running on a treadmill going nowhere fast. Why? Because they haven’t clearly mapped out what they want and then taken the steps to get there. Rather than identifying specific goals, milestones, and dreams (and I’m talking BIG dreams and goals here), they go through the motions day in and day out tackling unimportant tasks. They end up…you guessed it…going in circles and wasting lots of energy. In the meanwhile, they grow increasingly uninspired and out of touch with their authentic selves. This, of course, sets anyone up to living a life out of balance. One of the main reasons why most people don’t get what they want is they haven’t decided what they want. They haven’t defined their desires in clear and compelling detail. What does success look like to you? Not everybody’s definition of success is the same, nor should it be. Don’t let your inner devil’s advocate (or that incessant but unimportant To Do list) inhibit you from dreaming big. As soon as you commit to a big dream and really go after it, your subconscious creative mind will come up with big ideas to make it happen. You’ll start attracting the people, resources, and opportunities you need into your life to make your dream come true. Big dreams not only inspire you, but they also compel others to want to play big, too.

4. Believe It Is Possible

Scientists used to believe that humans responded to information flowing into the brain from the outside world. But today, they’re learning that instead we respond to what the brain, based on previous experience, expects to happen next. In fact, the mind is such a powerful instrument; it can deliver literally everything you want. But you have to believe that what you want is possible. As you commit to believing in yourself, also make a commitment to toning down the complaint department. Look at what you are complaining about. I’m fat. I’m tired. I can’t get out of debt. I won’t ever get a better job. I can’t stand the relationship I have with my father. I’ll never find a soulmate in life. Really examine your complaints. More than likely you can do something about them. They are not about other people, other things, or other events. They are about YOU.

5. Believe in Yourself

If you are going to be successful in creating the life of your dreams, you have to believe that you are capable of making it happen. Whether you call it self-esteem, self-confidence or self-assurance, it is a deep-seated belief that you have what it takes; the abilities, inner resources, talents and skills to create your desired results. Have unwavering faith in yourself, for good and bad. Make the decision to believe that you create all your experiences. You will experience successes thanks to you, and you will experience pain, struggle, and strife thanks to you. Sounds a little strange, but accepting this level of responsibility is uniquely empowering. It means you can do, change, and be anything. Stumbling blocks become just that—little hills to hop over.

6. Become an Inverse Paranoid

This one is straightforward: Imagine how much easier it would be to succeed in life if you were constantly expecting the world to support you and bring you opportunity. Successful people do just that.

7. Unleash the Power of Goal Setting

Experts on the science of success know the brain is a goal-seeking organism. Whatever goal you give to your subconscious mind, it will work day and night to achieve. To engage you subconscious mind, a goal has to be measurable. When there aren’t any criteria for measurement, it is simply something you want, a wish, a preference, or a good idea. Sometimes we need to make just one initial goal to get started, and that’s okay. At least it comes with a few actions to achieve. A first step simply can be making an immediate change in a single area in your life. Are you unhappy about something that is happening right now? Make requests that will make it more desirable to you, or take the steps to change it yourself. Making a change might be uncomfortable and overwhelming for you. It might mean you have to put in more time, money, and effort. It might mean that someone gets upset about it, or makes you feel bad about your decision. It might be difficult to change or leave a situation, but staying put is your choice so why continue to complain? You can either do something about it or not. It is your choice and you have responsibility for your choices. Bear in mind that you have to be willing to change your behavior if you want a different outcome. You have to be willing to take the risks necessary to get what you want. If you’ve already taken an initial step in the right direction, now’s the time to plan more steps to keep moving you forward faster. Isn’t it a great relief to know that you can make your life what you want it to be? Isn’t it wonderful that your successes do not depend on someone else? So if you need just one thing to do different today than you did yesterday, make it this: Commit to taking 100% responsibility for every aspect of your life. Decide to make changes, one step at a time. Once you start the process you’ll discover it is much easier to get what you want by taking control of your thoughts, your visualizations, and your actions!


  WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete statement with it: Jack Canfield, America’s #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul®and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you’re ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com

Frey Freyday – Needs

(Frey Freyday is simply a bunch of inspirational, motivational and other quotes meant to make you think, reflect, smile, even laugh a bit. Hopefully helpful, useful stuff..)

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A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.-Vernon Howard

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Everyone needs a coach. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a basketball player, a tennis player, a gymnast or a bridge player.-Bill Gates

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Encouragement to others is something everyone can give. Somebody needs what you have to give. It may not be your money; it may be your time. It may be your listening ear. It may be your arms to encourage. It may be your smile to uplift. Who knows?-Joel Osteen

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A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.-George A. Moore

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A man’s pride can be his downfall, and he needs to learn when to turn to others for support and guidance.-Bear Grylls

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There’s always the motivation of wanting to win. Everybody has that. But a champion needs, in his attitude, a motivation above and beyond winning.-Pat Riley

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Our species needs, and deserves, a citizenry with minds wide awake and a basic understanding of how the world works.-Carl Sagan

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We are driven by five genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun.-William Glasser

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Human needs are Physiological, Safety, Belongingness and Love, Esteem, Self-Actualization and Self-Transcendence. Abraham Maslow

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The six basic needs are Certainty/Comfort, Variety, Significance, Connection/Love, Growth, Contribution. – Tony Robbins

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I feel that every human being is beautiful, and I think that each one of us needs to realize how beautiful we really are.-Randy Fenoli

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Suffering needs time. It cannot survive in the now.-Eckhart Tolle
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When you are balanced and when you listen and attend to the needs of your body, mind, and spirit, your natural beauty comes out.-Christy Turlington

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What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.-Pearl Bailey

 

Rules for the Game of Life

I’d love to say I made this but I didn’t – regardless it is good stuff and worth passing along.

Read and / or watch it!’

All right let’s go, the five rules of life.

1. Have vision for your life.

Have a vision for who you want to become, the kind of person you want to become. What are the qualities of the type of person you want to feel and be like in your life? Also, vision for what is your dream? What’s your goal? What’s your desire? Where do you want to go? Where do you want your life to head? What will you find meaningful at the end of your life when you look back and you say, “Wow, I’ve lived my life. These were the things I found meaningful. These were the things I’m happy about. This was what I had pride in and having become this type of person. These were the types of relationships I created.”

That’s vision.

Sitting down and thinking about what you want of life, what you want to contribute of life, what you want to experience of life and that doesn’t land on you. A lot of people would say, “Brendon, I just don’t have vision for myself.” Well, vision doesn’t land on you, it’s not like you walk outside out of your house one day and the piano of purpose falls on your head and suddenly everything is clear. Some people have that epiphany. Some people have that awakening, but for most of us, it requires diligence and work.

Sit down with a piece of paper and a pen and say, “What’s my vision for life? What do I want my life to be like? Where do I want to live? What kind of work do I want to contribute to the world? What kind of relationships do I want to build?”

That requires thought, brainstorming and if you don’t know the answers to that that’s okay, experience the world some more. Go sample different parts of the world, of your community or ask other people how they discovered what they wanted in life. Start this journey, become a seeker of what your vision will be and the vision will suddenly start to coalesce and you’ll figure these things out.

But, the primary components of vision are, who do you want to become, the type of person? For me, the type of person I want to become is…. and fill that out because that begins the vision for your life. It’s all about the type of person you want to become, and living each and every single day into that person, to become that person.

At some point in my life I thought, I want to become more present, because I wasn’t. I wasn’t able to get that awareness around me of other people, that awareness of my thoughts, feelings and emotions, to experience the full immensity and magic of he moment. I said, “I have the vision to become a present person.” I had to discipline myself to tune in and say, “What am I paying attention to right now? What am I feeling? What am I sensing? Am I in this moment? Am I here with this person or am I checked out and away?”

I really had to do that. It was a discipline to live into the vision of that type of person. It’s just an example and I hope you will develop your own vision for who you want to become.

2. Believe in your ability to figure things out.

Some people just can’t believe in themselves, their total self. I hope you can get there and believe in your total self. That should be a mission too. But a rule is believing in your ability to figure things out. It allows you to wade into any unknown territory, any uncertainty and say you know what, I don’t know what the hell is going on here, but I will figure it out.

That is a life belief we all must have: The ability to know that with enough time, energy, focus, resources even, that over a period of time we can develop the knowledge, skill, competency, mastery of any area that we must succeed in.

With enough time, dedication and effort we can do it and we must believe in our ability to figure things out.

When the worst of life’s storms hit you, to say, “You know what, this is terrible right now. This challenge is awful but I’ll figure my way out of it. It might not be easy; there will be hardship, struggle and frustration. Other people will be jerks, but I’ll figure my way out of it. I will learn through this. I will develop through this. I will grow through this. I will move through. There will be a better tomorrow. There will be something that I move and progress in my life towards this, even if it’s a slog or a struggle; honor that struggle.”

Be okay with that struggle, because you know in your heart and mind you will figure it out. You will figure it out and as you learn more from other people over a period of time, you’ll gain that confidence and guess what? As you figure things out you develop competency. You develop your knowledge, skill and ability, your talent and mastery of life and with competency comes confidence. You’ll have more confidence in your life. That will come from believing in yourself and your ability to figure it out, enough times that you got it.

3. The third rule of life is to have fun no matter what, chasing your dreams.

As you have that vision, you have that dream, you have that desire that you’re going to have fun on this journey, even when it sucks, even when it’s difficult, even when you’re dealing with someone you don’t like or a bad co-worker or a bad boss or a bad spouse or a bad child, whatever you got, whatever you’re dealing with, just say you know what, I’m going to bring the fun. I’m going to bring the joy into this situation proactively.

I’m not going to wait for something to happen that I can have fun. I’m going to bring the fun. I am the fun. I will show up in whatever way, whatever way you enjoy life, whatever way that fun, joy, zest and enthusiasm sparks for you. Make that happen. Bring that into the situation proactively.

I go into the tensest situations in my business now sometimes, where literally; major decisions are on my shoulders. Major leaders from fortune 500 companies, sometimes billionaire clients are literally like, “Brendon!” and they’re so tense. The stuff has hit the fan. The storm has landed. Everyone is freaking out and I’m going to be the guy that walks in with a positive buoyant focused attitude.

I’m going to be the one to bring the joy to that situation. I’m going to bring the light to that darkness, even though sometimes I feel overwhelmed by that darkness of doubt or delay or distraction in my life. I’m going to move that aside and show up, because I have this rule, no matter what I will have fun doing what I am doing, chasing my dreams and that’s allowed my life to have a very uncommon charge.

I just make that happen. It’s not a luck it’s a discipline, a discipline of having fun, a desire to have fun and bring that into every single situation of my life. I hope you’ll make that a rule of your life.

4. Be patient but persistent.

Be cool. Life might not be progressing as fast as it wants to be. Be cool that you’re not getting ahead as fast as you want to get ahead. Give yourself the patience and allowance to do a good job. It might take longer than you think it’s going to take. A lot of people beat themselves up because they’re in such a hurry.

I think some of the worst components and worst behaviors and vices of human kind comes from hurry, being in way too big of a hurry and wanting that immediate payoff, being entitled to have it right now without allowing that long journey of struggle.

I’m cool with the struggle. I honor the struggle. I know it’s going to be there. I’m patient. I know that my time, if I am disciplined and focused on doing the things that are good for me, for others, for my business, for my life, for you. If I’m focused, I know over a period of time with enough patience the success will come.

The joy will come. Do you know how long I did these videos before I ever made it a career? Do you know how many stages I spoke on and just sucked? I was allowing myself to learn.

To be a learner you have to have patience with yourself, but the critical element is that you have to be persistent. You, even as your patient you’re allowing time to take place as you’re putting these things in, you’re allowing the universe to align with your desires, your dreams and your focus. You are also not stopping.

You are persistent in your actions as well as you are patient. It’s that peaceful warrior that you are working towards. You are fighting. You are struggling to move towards it, but at the exact same time you’re cool.

You’re accepting that everything is as it needs to be right now and you are continually taking action.

That persistence of action and behavior is what gets you ahead. It has to be a rule of life if we’re going to have what we want, because we can’t just start something and stop it all the time, that’s just distraction.

We have to be persistent towards our dreams and patient with ourselves.

5. Love and respect others playing the same game.

We’re all in this game of life. We’re all doing the best that we can. Loving and respecting other people is critical not only to our happiness and connection with the people that we care for, it is critical to our destiny. It is critical to our legacy. It is critical to our legend. It is critical to our simple, everyday experience of the good parts of life.

To love other people is a rule for me. I take all this divine energy of love around me and I try and amplify and give it to people. That’s how I see myself, as a big ole vessel of good amplification and good vibes for human beings.

I think it’s critical that we respect other people. We tolerate that they have their own life. It’s just tolerance. It’s about allowing people to have their own voice, allowing people to have their own experience, allow them to follow their intuition. Let them follow their own rules and be okay with it. Let them follow their own life and be okay with it. Accepting, understanding, empathathizing, sympathetic, compassionate, kind to other people, that’s the zest of life.

It’s that great grand connection that ultimately makes us feel, as human beings, fulfilled: because we loved.

So love others on your journey. Make it a practice. Make it a discipline. Make it an area of mastery, where other people around you always feel like you’re so attentive to them that they feel adored and appreciated. They feel your affection and it’s real, authentic and genuine, and they’re like wow, this person is something.

Have that intention for other people. Care about them so much that they love to be around you, that you attract them and that you feel fulfilled in giving that very thing that birthed you: Love.

http://brendonburchard.tumblr.com/post/94260683703/5-rules-for-the-game-of-life

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